Daughter Tore Up Letters From Late Wife So I Kicked Her Out, Am I Being Too Harsh r/AITA

[@brandi5126]

1st story: NTA. She is 20 and at 20 years of age she cut up the letters her deceased mother wrote to her dad out of spite. Yeah. NTA. Kick her out of you house. She isn’t some angsty 16 year old you can put boundaries up.

[@anderssorenson9998]

That's psychopath behaviour

[@oliviabean8264]

Thats just what fucking happens when someone who REALLY needs therapy doesn't get it, would say I've been there but thanks to my local mental health agency seemingly doing everything in there power to deny treatment or assistance for years I'm still there gonna be honest. I'd say I'm scared of myself and the actions I'm capable of at this point, but I've been long since desensitized and I am only now recovering due to the fact I'm now getting proper therapy.

[@oliviabean8264]

Now I'd like to clarify, he did what he had to do to protect his other kids... but I seriously believe if he hadn't just gone "alright, you have serious psychological issues that have gotten slightly better due to therapy but your 18 now so you don't need that shit! Tough it up buttercup!" it wouldn't have gotten to the point that he now essentially has to relocate her AND find an a therapist who now has an even harder task in front of them or else she'll likely become homeless at some point given the severity of her issues leading to her being exploited... which will then lead to more issues and therapy bills.

[@oliviabean8264]

Seriously, whatever her issue are now if she becomes homeless and has some seriously traumatic shit happen to her OP has two choices in my view... be an utter failiure of a parent, let the cards fall where they may, or help her find some damn help because she's probably to messed up in the head to realize or still care that she needs it. At that point she'll likely be selling her body, or recovering from doing so, dealing with multiple addictions, and will be even less safe to be around.

[@carg0_b00m]

@@oliviabean8264 i think they went through therapy till she was 18 and either she started becoming worse or somethings changed, so they decided that it was a waste of money.

[@cheskydivision]

20 is not a child. What she did was especially hateful.

[@joimumu]

Most 12 year old know better

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@joimumu Most elementary school children know better.

[@PaintSplashProductions]

Was there ever an update to this situation?

[@HonorWillow]

To be fair, people talk about relationship between parent and their child as referring to them as a child even if they are their adult child. Bit confusing but offspring is a weird word XD

[@itazuranakisu]

It’s better she get kicked out because she takes pleasure in hurting others or damaging and/or destroying their things without any remorse. OP has to think of his well-being and those in his household. She was in the wrong and his sons would feel betrayed if he let her off.

[@valerialeto6654]

It's so fucking upsetting that in story 3 if it weren't for the cameras, op's reputation would've been fucking destroyed for a false claim, also i bet Belinda didn't apologise for making him look like a creep. And this is coming from a woman.

[@nonbinarybannana]

Every gender can be screwed in a way. Sexist can be both ways. I feel so bad that she had a creeper

[@valerialeto6654]

@@nonbinarybannana definately, i'm sorry about the creeper too, maybe it left her with some type of trauma. I'm just upset that an innocent person risked their reputation for something they didn't do

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

@@nonbinarybannana - I don't even believe she had/has a creeper, just different innocent guy who also refused to show the contents of his phone.

[@ZyphoraVasilios]

The comments stating that what she was wearing is irrelevant are super missing tbh. Unless he was putting a lot of emphasis in the comment replies, well...he was explaining why he didn't feel comfortable taking the spot behind her. Moreover...I don't know. Showing up in something that makes it very evident you have no underwear on, positioning yourself so that someone has to be behind you, and then going apeshit when someone is behind you to scream and record them with no proof they ever even aimed their camera at you? Like on the one hand yeah dress how you want but on the other hand the setup sounds more like she's just a drama queen that goes out of her way to create a scene and harass people. I guess maybe going commando keeps things a little less sweaty? But uh... I don't know, you'd think a person wouldn't go off unless they actually saw a phone being pointed at them. Besides that, imagine if he did show his phone and she found lewds of his girlfriend. What's next, they gonna demand he calls her and gets her to come in and prove she's the same woman in the photos and verify he had permission to have the pictures? Just in case? Or they say he's still a creep just a different kind and ban him anyway?

[@jamestown8398]

That made me upset too. There's never a good reason to adopt a "guilty until proven innocent" approach.

[@Itzelhaim]

First story: The sister knows what's she's doing wrong. She thought the the dad won't do anything. You aren't the NTA. But your daughter is.

[@oliviabean8264]

ESA in my opinion as someone who has become dangerous to be around because of being cut off of there therapy treatment... used to be the sweetest gentlest kids, but thanks to years of barely coping with severe psychological issues with zero proffesional assistance... well lets just say I'd be scared of what I'm now capable of but it'll take a fair bit more therapy for my empathy around that shit to truly come back.

[@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax]

@@oliviabean8264 That story ain't about you.

[@memorysdancer]

@@oliviabean8264 except she wasnt the "gentlest" kid op clearly says that she was always wild and always had behavioural issues.

[@memorysdancer]

@@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax exactly

[@robertx8020]

@@oliviabean8264 OP daughter was not 'cut of from therapy' so your story isn't relavant!

[@Roedygr]

GAY : This story is dripping with irony. Parents are not upset son is gay. They are upset he lied, Son lied because he thought his parents were serious bigots. Parents are upset son pegged them as bigots. Son still doe not appreciate the irony.

[@jamestown8398]

The sad thing is that, if the son wasn't sure his parents would accept him, he could have tested the waters first. "Hey, the news ran an article about the LGBT community. What are your thoughts on gay people?".

[@tiryaclearsong421]

For story 3, OP is NTA. Not at all. He wasn't trying to make a scene, he just didn't want to hand over his personal phone to people he doesn't know so they can look through his private pics. I personally do not want it to become the norm that people feel they have the right to take my phone and go through it ever. I don't care if my phone is stuffed to the brim with pictures of my cat being adorable. It's my phone. It has private things on it. I would leave the gym before handing it over. Frankly I would leave the gym after this situation as their behavior sounds ridiculous to me. Unless there has been more than one complaint, I don't think someone should be banned over a single accusation made without evidence.

[@locusxe1411]

Story 3 NTA- that ESH comment kind of baffles me. What did Op do exactly he was describing that this woman was being indecent in public. He didn’t take any pictures of her. Ik not gonna take away my privacy because you think I’m taking picture of you

[@lavarelease2928]

Exactly,(I know I'm late) if the lady truly thought he was taking pictures of her she could've just gone to management and asked to see camera footage

[@thesmilingboiYT]

Story 3: Either Brenda or OP should stop going to that gym. Brenda clearly gets a kick out of accusing people after one legitimate creep and OP now knows that the gym wont recognize his right to privacy.

[@robertx8020]

Brenda will use this trick over and over again! Want to bet?

[@Qyshawn]

OP is Nta but literally, showing his phone just could end the problem, especially with her past experience. Care about your privacy sure but if you didnt want to have a problem it would have been to quickest way to stop it

[@callmecharlie4250]

@@Qyshawn there are literally laws in place to protect people's privacy in situations like these. He should not be expected to expose himself to prove his innocence.

[@beckyhartley9502]

@@callmecharlie4250 And Brenda should stop exposing herself too.

[@Qyshawn]

@@callmecharlie4250 like I said, he has no obligation to show anything, but in regards to conflict resolution it would be the quickest way to stop the conflict. I always think about the worst possible situation like a murder accusation for example. If you could easily disprove it idk why you wouldnt

[@indyfmw]

Story 3: I like how the ESH comment said he was the ah for not showing the pics then said he didnt have to show the pics

[@Tammohawk1]

4. NTA She went ring and house shopping the same weekend that she met this guy because she wanted to make sure he's "committed"? On the first date? That is very bizarre indeed. I'm with you Mark, if some guy did that to me, I'd be gone so fast he wouldn't know what happened.

[@ilbercgross4736]

Even before the info, OP is NTA. Her friend ghosted her. They went communicating daily to OP's friend going radio silent for days and weeks at a time. Her friend seems to have a, not a priority issue, but issue that escapes me at the moment. Same issue when guys stop talking to their friends when they get a girlfriend. Okay, I get it. You have someone new in your life but a text message would be nice other than help me out with a task.

[@TheTiredGhost]

1st story is definitely NTA: She's an adult, she knew what she was doing, she needs to grow up. I usually wouldn't agree with kicking her out, i would usually suggest finding some form of help, but he has a minor kid to look out for, they should be able to feel safe in their own home. Her actions have consequences, she needs to learn this

[@oliviabean8264]

Why did she get cut off of therapy when it was just starting to show results? I used to be excessively gentle by the standards of your average kid, severe trauma came up, I got the proper therapy at first, then got cut off... and years later I am finally getting therapy and I'm just barely able to feel empathy for how much of a psycho bitch I can be while triggered, I relish in the consequences because a part of me thinks I'm a piece of shit who deserves them.

[@TheTiredGhost]

@@oliviabean8264 I think she decided to stop going when she turned 18 (idk i might have read it wrong tho)

[@Doublemonk0506]

@@oliviabean8264, except "therapy did seem to help a little bit BUT decided to stop soon after she turned 18", Eva chose to stop going to therapy. There is no other way to go about this other than tying up Eva and throwing her with a therapist.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA "If you have nothing to hide it's not a big deal" is Bullshit. It IS a big deal. It is a huge violation of Privacy over a misperception. You know what isn't a violation of someone's privacy? Taking a pictures of someone in a publjc place. Even if OP was taking pictures, that was his prerogative although the argument could be made that it would be gross and creepy. Gross and creepy aren't Always illegal. Edit: that comment about "OP just wanted to make a scene" is Bullcrap. He was trying to defend himself from an unreasonable demand and argument.

[@niyablake]

Yep that gives her a free pass to accuse any guy

[@lily-zg6io]

I mean as a female in a gym, if someone took pictures of me I'd want them deleted because there's no way to tell what this person will do with them (like posting them online). But there should be a presumption of innocence: aka it's not up to OP to prove he did anything here. Secondly, why wouldn't she approach OP politely at first, then escalate it if he doesn't cooperate, aka not yell and record as a first resort. Thirdly: there could be some very private things on someone's phone that they aren't comfortable showing, like private pics in that case, or pictures of medication, maybe some documents.

[@valerialeto6654]

@@lily-zg6io exactly, the sad thing is that even if the cameras prooved he's innocent, his reputation at the gym could already be compromised because she caused that huge scene, unless she apologised but i higly doubt it

[@wmdkitty]

On the other hand, if you're really innocent, what harm does it do to prove it?

[@valerialeto6654]

@@wmdkitty he said he had his own nudes on his phone

[@志瑜杨]

I was in the middle of watching a Chinese drama, but this title was too irresistible for me not to stop and watch. Hope you are doing well Mark!

[@MarkNarrations]

Very well thank you! Hope you're good also!

[@kathrynewhitmore]

Story #3: NTA - first let me address one of the replies about how (I'm paraphrasing here) what she was wearing was unnecessary information, she felt sick. What she was wearing is relevant - she KNEW her leggings were see through, she knew she wasn't wearing panties - this is without question ONE of the reasons she thinks he was taking pictures. Im a woman, so let me be clear - a woman's clothes are not an excuse for perverted people to take pictures, come on to someone, take something that they aren't entitled to - but for someone so concerned with others taking pictures, or acting creepy etc - wearing leggings with no underwear is going to draw looks- not saying it's right - buts it's true. There is an overwhelming amount of gym outfits available to woman that are made out of breathable material, allowing complete flexibility and are not sheer. Another reply stated that being loud (out of anger in part) helps draw attention to the "creeper". I understand that someone had in fact been a creeper before, which would leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth - but not everyone is a pervert. Also yelling like that, at an innocent person - can destroy a person's life! I'm really disgusted by the fact people whip out their phones and record situations like these BEFORE HAVING ABSOLUTE PROOF. This man was innocent, but was almost banned from the gym? What if the manager hadn't bothered to view the cameras? Some won't bother and will just ban a person. Accusations without absolute proof are dangerous. If what someone is about to say has the potential to ruin someone's life - they shouldn't be allowed do so without proof... I'm scared for my sons! I know what kind of boys I raised, if I found out that did something disgusting like this - I'd lose it on them - they would need to suffer the consequences of their actions - but if you do not know for sure? Don't you dare make statements that can ruin a life. I wouldn't want to show my phones picture gallery either. It's private. I understand the statement people make about "if you did nothing wrong you have nothing to hide" but ummmm - No. I MAY have my own D*c* pics of my SO or the picture of me Scantily Clad posing for my SO - that IS SOMETHING to hide and has nothing to do with a anyone else. How narcissistic do you have to be to be looking BEHIND YOURSELF while doing squats in see through pants- why was she looking behind her? For at LEAST 50 MINS to see him using his phone?

[@indiashante1560]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@emanymton7184]

Exactly that. Her wearing see thru leggings is like me wearing speedoes to the gym. You know how you look and how this may have an effect on others. Her cameltoeing or me floundering my junk in everyone's face can and will generate unwanted attention. But that's no excuse to go full Karen. You never go full Karen. If that happened at a gym in my country she'd be lucky to not be charged with invasion of privacy, illegal recording, making false claims, slander etc. I'd call the police and first thing they do is seize her phone as evidence. They then will take a look at mine if there is pics of her on it. They can do it, they have the jurisdiction to do so. Karen and Manager do not. But Karen would have a hard time getting her phone back. The time she does 3 generations of phones have passed. We have fought hard for our privacy laws and cases like this make me proud we have them. We as a people have learned from our past. Those 12 years sure were a lesson.

[@indiashante1560]

@@emanymton7184 I personally see that as a violation of the gym dress code. If it's see through it's indecent. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@kathrynewhitmore]

@@emanymton7184 I'm kinda in love with this comment, maybe even your Country and it's laws. Thank you Kind Sir for proving that SOME places haven't gone completely BatSh*t Crazy because a bunch of snowflakes whine. Cheese and Rice - the world is going to Hell in a Hand basket.

[@coolcatplays2819]

Facts on facts on facts! I get her being scared, but doing something like this can ruin people's lives without proof.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3. NTA. She didn’t have to make a scene. She could have gone to management first and foremost but she chose to do the same thing to OP that she accused OP of doing. It sounds exactly like the white girl who assaulted a 14 year old poc because she thought he stole her phone when the one he had was his own.

[@charondusk5608]

Story 3 - While I get she'd be paranoid after having a creeper, the gym really needs to consider whether letting Belinda continue to attend is worth the risk because she has not only already done this shit MULTIPLE TIMES, it's only a matter of time before this starts to affect their business. She sounds like she needs therapy because of whatever happened, but that still does not give her the right to intrude on someone's privacy like that because, going off how she was acting, if she'd seen the photos of OP and his GF, she and probably the gym would've used that against him, despite them being pictures that had explicit consent behind them. Regardless, OP should consider A) Finding a new gym and B) Letting everyone at that gym know exactly WHY they're losing a customer and potentially others.

[@Justadeerthatgames]

agree if the gym doesn't do something about her they'll go under if they haven't already

[@Cecelia021]

Story 2: NTA Here's why: even though you mentioned that there's no case of homophobia, you probably weren't ready because there's a slight possibility that you family might hide that "secret" and might get mad at you once they know the truth. It can happen like that to anyone

[@thedestroyasystem]

I’d say NAH, but I agree OP isn’t in the wrong here. People were acting like coming out is the easiest thing in the world to do, when really it can be one of the most difficult. I can see why the family is hurt, but I can also see why OP felt the need to hide.

[@diepssuarez2676]

Yes. A lot of people are saying that he's entitled for expecting them to be happy for him, but there is a HUGE difference between "Wow, I'll never speak to you again" and "Oh, I'm not that happy for you.".

[@bryanbyrd3305]

Agreed! Coming out is an absolutely personal affair. No matter how non-homophobic and accepting one family seems, it does not entitle them to hurry or expedite an individual’s coming out before they are ready. And asking someone ‘if they are gay’ does not entitle the questioner to the truth when the truth is that personal and the individual is not ready to talk about it. Again, it’s speeding up someone else’s timeline to being comfortable and ready to come out. People do not have to share aspects of their lives and themselves with anyone they do not want know that information; this includes family! OP has a simple wedding. That is their choice. Family just needs to deal with it. OP did not want to share information about his life. That is their choice. Family just needs to deal with it.

[@locusxe1411]

I don’t know about that. It’s completely their choice to hide it but for 3 years? Then you get married?

[@diepssuarez2676]

@@locusxe1411 To clarify, he got married two months before he told them. He was BF/BF for the three years before.

[@jaydendolls3710]

I work at a gym and it is never ok to ask someone to open their phone to prove their innocence that is what the cameras are for. Even if you force him to show his phone she will feel assured but now he feels violated and that is never ok. I find that women who make a scene like this are never satisfied because they will just claim he deleted the evidence. It is more about the scene then the resolution

[@drewevans2786]

Everyone in the comments saying OP in the second story is NTA is odd to me. Everyone is commenting “right to privacy” or “they had no right to know”, but OP have no inclination that he had a hostile or bad relationship with his parents. This isn’t about not knowing he’s gay, but seems more upset about the fact they did know know about their son’s engagement and wedding, it wouldn’t have been less upsetting is he married a woman. It’s one thing to be scared, but to think that you parents are possibly homophobic, then decide to drop THREE bombs at a family dinner is wild.

[@alwayswondering127]

Thank you, the comments here make little sense.

[@CryWolf-sm9iw]

Story 3: NTA. The way it sounds, “Belinda” was already recording probably on social media screaming for attention and OP was just the bit to make her video interesting. Personally I would’ve told her she needs to show me her pics bc she’s obviously filming me in a way that makes me very uncomfortable.

[@TLSoulDude]

First story...he could've chased her out of the house with a mace and I'd STILL say NTA. She intentionally crossed a line out of petty spite.

[@SilentDecepticon]

1: She was 20 years old, and OP didn't say she had any kind of cognitive difficulties, so she was perfectly aware of what she was doing. Like everyone has said, OP has his younger child to think of, and who knows what other crazy shit the daughter would do. Let her go stay with one of her friends. We'll see how long that lasts if she keeps doing this kind of stuff. 2: OP is being deliberately obtuse. He lied to them for years, and excluded them from his wedding. I know my parents would be mad if me or my siblings secretly dated someone and married them behind their backs. They would be very hurt that they didn't get to see their child's wedding. It's an extra slap that they didn't find out until months afterwards, and OP just expected them to be cool with his sudden husband and everything. Nobody would be okay after getting all this sprung on them. They need time to process. 3: If I were OP, I'd just stop going to that gym. It sounds like Brenda gets a kick out of dressing skimpily then making a scene when a man notices. OP has the right to his phone privacy, but still he was lucky that the cameras cleared him. 4: Is the friend okay? Ring and house shopping after the first date is crazy. And to expect the guy to commit to her right there. No thanks. The guy must be nuts too as he hasn't run off after this display. And OP is NTA for saying she can't help. The friend needs to give more notice than that.

[@digitalharmony26]

Story two; I don’t think they’re mad that you’re gay. I think she’s upset because you didn’t tell her you were dating the love of your life, you denied it and didn’t trust them and didn’t invite them to the wedding. Regardless of gender, I’d be heartbroken if my kid felt like they couldn’t trust me.

[@Carla_Valjeta]

to play devils advocate with it, there are a lot of horror stories about coming out to family and them disowning you or treating you worse, it's always a fear that all in the LGBT+ community have, so coming out to anyone if you don't know how they'll react. I have a lot of empathy for him because honestly it's terrifying to come out to family on anything be it sexuality or gender identity and the feeling that you might not be accepted is what hurts even more.

[@digitalharmony26]

@@Carla_Valjeta as someone that is a part of the community I completely understand that. Thankfully most people have accepted me but I’ve lost friends and family and I can’t even imagine how difficult it can be for some. But I also can’t imagine hiding someone so important to me for so long from the ones I love. I don’t particularly want to get married, but if I did I would want a really small ceremony, nothing flash but I couldn’t marry someone without giving my loved ones a chance to accept my partner and be there to support me. I understand OP was scared, but I can completely see why the family reacted the way they did too.

[@Carla_Valjeta]

@@digitalharmony26 that's why non of my 'blood family' will be around when I get married or if I get married, because they don't accept me, it's why I never really let any of my family meet anyone I date because they end up turning people into machines that just misgender and deadname me, they've done it to multiple people in the past and is why I rarely talk about how I feel around any of them, I will be glad when I can move out from my sisters. I am in the same area as the OP in that regard because of it and it's why I don't think he is an asshole, even if someone asked me if I am dating a male or a female, I won't answer mainly because people even if they are 'family' don't really need to know it.

[@digitalharmony26]

@@Carla_Valjeta I can understand that. And I am extremely sorry you have such a toxic biological connection (family is a strong word). Misgendering and deadnaming is never fucking acceptable. Just going off the context of the story, OP never stated he thought they wouldn’t be accepting. The brother even had his suspicions and asked him, giving him the chance to at least discuss how he feels if OP was gay. No one should ever be outed or forced to come out before they’re ready. I just think you should put off being married until you’re ready to be honest. He said his main concern was he wanted to be completely independent from his family just in case, but he was living with his partner for years and I just felt that was a weird excuse. I’m not him. I don’t know his family. I can’t know for sure, no one can. But it just didn’t sit right with me and I think anyone that cared about him would have been hurt at the dishonesty. Lying for years about his “friend and roommate”.

[@soulechelon2643]

First story: Definitely NTA, and that one poster who gathered up the info is a hero, because while I was already ready to say NTA in the first place, that information sealed the deal. Yes, definitely don't outright "Abandon" Eva, but having someone with that much amount of blind hatred in the same living space as you and your other children is a recipe for disaster. She needs psychiatric help, and should get it asap before she begins attacking other people too. I'm legit worried about the friend that came to pick her up. Second story: Ouch. I can see it from both views, but with this one, gonna have to go with YTA. I totally understand being nervous about coming out to your family. I have a friend who recently went full trans (surgery and everything) and was very nervous about revealing this to her more extended family. However, this was a huge bomb dropped on your closest relatives, and the OP blatantly lied about it for years. Not only that, his mother had history with a gay person that was lying to her throughout their relationship, too? Oh man...Just think how she felt when she was told her own son was lying about the same exact thing, too. Again I understand both sides, but he should've given his family a bit more trust. Being surprised that they didn't take kindly to the news shows how detached he was from just how much his facade damaged them. Not to mention, I mean...even if you weren't gay, revealing you were in a 3 year relationship and then married is more than enough to shock and potentially damage your relationship with your family. Third story: Definitely NTA, your privacy is your own. Sounded like Brenda's name should be Karen, really. Also, if she had a stalker before and she doesn't want people taking pics of her, then maybe...just maybe....wear some freakin' underwear then? Sweat pants perhaps? Something that isn't see-through? All of this is on her, not the OP. He was totally in the right for keeping his privacy to himself, especially if he had compromising pictures/recordings already on his phone of himself and his girlfriend. And to add, I 10000% disagree with that second poster with the ESH. How in the world did the OP want to make a scene when it was Brenda who started it all? OP was discreet, wasn't raising his phone at all, and was just doing what he normally did. And explaining what she was wearing was totally necessary to the situation. It not only helps show how uncomfortable the OP was, but also explains Brenda's hypocrisy. If you don't want attention, you shouldn't make yourself the center of it by not wearing underwear. Fourth story: Uh, yikes. There's alot to unpack and not alot of information to do it with. OP's definitely NTA, but it sounds like her friend changed practically overnight when she found this new boyfriend. But that extra info makes it clear that she's the aggressor, not him. This one was weird but yeah NTA.

[@faeb.9618]

playing devil's advocate here for a moment, but sadly it really isn't as easy as trusting your family when it's about coming out. no matter how much you know your family, you really can never be sure at all of how they'll react to you coming out, even if they seem accepting. it's way easier to be accepting of people you aren't as close to than it is of your own son and there is too many cases of people with seemingly nice families that turn around completely and become monsters when their children turn out to be gay. it's sad, but the reality is that most of the time to this day it's still easier and safer to hide it. it's a bomb to drop on anyone no matter how prepared you or they might be for it. i do think that op should've come out before marriage, but i just can't bring myself to completely blame op for it. i'd say either ESH or NAH because yeah, the approach wasn't good, but their reaction wasn't either. just all around a tough situation that there was no real way to handle properly on either side unfortunately

[@sioward2753]

@@faeb.9618 Why would you *not* expect your family that you're otherwise close to to be shocked and surprised if you suddenly announce you're married? Not dating. Not engaged. *Married* . And for *months* at that. To someone you've been with for *three years* all the while actively lying that you were with *anyone* ? Of course they're not overflowing with happiness. They wouldn't be overflowing with happiness if a *straight* family member dropped that kind of bomb either. Also not telling your family you're gay because you think the reaction would be negative and then being all surprised pikachu when they're not busting out party poppers and champagne when you drop the bomb of not only are you gay, but you've been with your partner for three years, *and* you've been married for months now just doesn't make any logical sense at all. Why would you think they'd be happy you were married to your same-sex partner when you actually though they'd be upset *just* by the knowledge that you're gay??

[@faeb.9618]

@@sioward2753 i'm not talking about the marriage part, i'm talking about the coming out part. did you read what i said at all? i'm saying that i understand why someone would choose to not come out in years no matter what sort of family they have because you never know if they'll turn on you. and i literally said that it should've happened BEFORE the marriage. and that this was a no win situation for anyone involved, but that i can't really blame op for not coming out sooner and trying to live their life without coming out to them because the topic of coming out to family is always scary no matter what.

[@Davtwan]

Congratulations! You’re 20! You know get to experience the consequences of being an adult despite the fact you decided to stunt your emotional growth by no longer seeing your therapist. You lost the respect of your only living parent and possibly your siblings. Good job! That daughter’s first few adult years are going to be Hell if she doesn’t grow up real fast.

[@joreyn7656]

It sounds like the family isn't being homophobic, it sounds like they're upset that OP lied to them for so long about their relationship and marriage. Which is entirely valid.

[@thislookslikepatrick5070]

S1 NTA What the daughter did is terrible and her smugness after the fact when she was confronted is even worse. S3 NTA "stop taking pictures of me perv" proceeds to begin recording you without consent. Also the idea that if you don't have anything to hide you shouldn't care is inherently stupid. If she has a history of accusing people of this shit (and it doesn't make it better if she was correct once) you would think the management or even she would realise I've been wrong several times maybe I shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions but no.

[@Mapache095]

I could be wrong, but story 2 it seems like OP is trying to twist the narrative - they’re trying to make as if the problem is his sexuality, however that doesn’t seem to be the issue at all, the issue seems to be that he actively excluded his family from key events and then just nonchalantly mentioned it at the table as if it’s nothing…

[@jadedflames2809]

Everyone in the comments in the video seem to miss that- the sexuality wants as big of an issue as the dating/marriage

[@alwayswondering127]

You’re right, I mean just imagine showing up to your parents saying you’ve been in a 3 year relationship and you’re married. I get being scared to come out that’s understandable, but at least tell them before you get married so they have the choice to show up. It’s completely understandable that the family are unhappy, and he is entitled for expecting a positive reaction.

[@jennyknopps1291]

About story 3 I don't get why some women think that it is okay to not wear a pair of underwear when going to the gym.

[@jadedflames2809]

I think it's unhealthy to wear underwear inn general because trouser texture could irritate the genitals?? I may have reworded it wrong. I feel like this is the mindset "if I'm gonna be sweating, it's bad to wear an underwear because of infections and such." Um, it only happens if you don't change your underwear to a clean one. And I would hope that you would shower after a major sweat-

[@Parasolhyena]

​@@jadedflames2809 Huh I hadn't thought that would be the reason but I guess it could make sense. However depending on what trousers she was wearing she wouldn't be at risk for infection any more then wearing underwear. However underwear rarely causes infections unless you have some other medical condition.

[@jadedflames2809]

@@Parasolhyena I believe for women, you can get yeast infection this way if you keep the sweaty underwear. Also in general, it just sounds uncomfortable to wear nothing between your legs and trousers, but each to their own?

[@jennyknopps1291]

@@jadedflames2809 it's also biohazard if you are on your period to not wear underwear, or pads/tampons for that matter.

[@jadeddragoon]

"While I agree you don't have to show your pictures, that would have been the easier and quickest way to solve the situation. It kinda seems like you both just want to make a scene." So he doesn't have to show his pictures but he's an asshole if he doesn't and must only be protecting his privacy out of a desire to make a scene. Contradicting yourself in the same sentence... impressive. Love how the commentor then tries to emphasize in an edit (presumably after getting ripped a new asshole by other commentors) that the guy has a right to privacy when the commentor just got done laying out an argument for why he doesn't (after very clearly stating he does). You can't fix stupid I guess.

[@Qyshawn]

This is incorrect, it would just be the auickest way to stop the confrontation. It someone accused you of stealing and putting something in your pocket Id flip open my pockets and show theyre wrong. You have no obligation to do so AT ALL that doesnt mean it isnt the easiest way to resolve the situation by disproving the accusation

[@fabiocandelori9163]

Regarding Story 1: Even if he abandoned her, so what? She is an adult, she can live with the consequences of her actions, and the consequences for the messed up crap she did to her brother and her father are losing her family. Oh, and before that commenter comes here saying "If she went to therapy she wouldn't be this way", pal, work on your comprehension, OP clearly said she refused to go to therapy anymore once she turned 18. What was he to do? Drag her kicking and screaming to the therapist?

[@reinwolf534]

Story 3 Belinda needs to be banned from the gym. She knew what she was doing. She was trying to intentionally attack op. Belinda has done this before to other innocencts. She needs consequences

[@jaclynsmith4323]

I've heard the note tearing up story 3 times today, and yet Mark tells it the best. ❤

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww thank you

[@BruinPhD2009]

I think Mark tries to find the empathy in every situation, no matter who’s the AH, and that gives us a greater connection with all the stories.

[@honeybelle1203]

I don't know if I completely agree with the second story's verdict. I definitely think it could have been done better, in particular, waiting to be married until after OP comes out. But I also understand why they may feel the need to err on the side of caution. The sad truth is that LGBT people have to be careful as to who we reveal ourselves to for fear of our well being, stable housing, and sometimes, physical safety. Although I definitely also believe they should talk to their mom & brother and apologize for making them feel left out, and reiterate that they love them and want them in their life.

[@honeybelle1203]

Want to add; The mom is also over reacting to the circumstance. It's one thing to feel upset that you were excluded from some very important times in your son's life. It's another to say she never wants to speak to him again. I believe that empathy needs to be extended on both sides here.

[@ineedhoez]

Na.... this is just someone who is a liar.

[@reiayanami8832]

Fir story 2 I think nta its possible op was just scared I've seen so many story's about ppl coming out to parents that show no sign of there parents having issue with having a gay child. But once the kids come out the parents do a complete 180. As for the parents they can be hurt thats fine and if there that upset they could hold a redo wedding so that there included

[@BlazingSky1001]

It wouldn't be the same though

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@BlazingSky1001 of course it wouldn’t be, but it would be a step towards healing.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Agreed, I think this is a rare NAH situation. Everyone could’ve behaved a bit better but overall I just see scared and hurting people, I hope OP and his husband are able to repair this damage.

[@demonic_myst4503]

@@BlazingSky1001 stop being obsessed over marriage then it his marriage not hers she isnt owed it

[@nothanks13]

i agree NAH. Op is in the right for being scared because of the threat that his family might kick him out and cut contact, and the family is in the right for being upset that they missed their brother/kids/relatives wedding.

[@dm9078]

First date weekend and making plans to not only move in but move cities for this guy. That shit is insane! Both of them! Edit Not OP but GF and her new BF!

[@MarkNarrations]

I know right, was a bit concerning for me.

[@willj24]

On story 3, I wonder if she really did have a legit creeper before, or whether she has a habit of accusing innocent men. Either one is possible.

[@darkage1524]

I think it's her either seeking attention or trying to find a way to sue random people there are people who do this kind of thing and often

[@mkuti-childress3625]

It actually did say that she had recently had a legit creeper. That’s probably why she was overly paranoid.

[@darkage1524]

@@mkuti-childress3625 alright still doesn't change the fact that she purposely goes into public places without underwear can't tell me that's not suspicious

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

@@mkuti-childress3625 - I'm willing to bet that the supposed creeper is just an innocent guy who was accused and refused to show the contents of his phone, but wasn't given any sort of benefit of the doubt.

[@willj24]

@@mkuti-childress3625 That's why I said "I wonder if she did." That was OPs assertion, which was probably what OP had been told, but we don't know whether that was actual fact or a mere reporting of the fact that this woman had previously made similar reports. As I said, either is perfectly possible, and if she really DID deal with a creeper before, I can understand her response. On the other hand, if she really did deal with a creeper before, I wouldn't think she'd be continuing to work out without underwear. This isn't a "blame the victim" thing, just the reality of human nature, it seems unlikely to me that someone who is uncomfortable with the perception that they were being stared at by creepers would continue to dress in a manner that's likely to attract them, while that mode of dress is more in line with someone who enjoys the attention and also enjoys calling people out and making themselves feel both more important and more victimized. Of course, you have no requirements to dress any particular way (barring local regulations, and I imagine if you're not wearing underwear and showing off your naughty bits, you may be violating some of these), but it's difficult to reconcile someone who is dealing with the trauma of a serious creeper also running around flashing her bare bits.

[@zombiexi1292]

Second story: NTA I would be just happy they felt I was a safe person they could tell. I wouldn't be upset they hadn't come to me sooner, that just says I didn't do enough to show them I was a safe person they could come out to when they first knew.

[@drewevans2786]

I think there’s a difference between a peer coming out to you vs your son coming out to you after they already got engaged and married though. A lot of parents dream of watching their children getting married, so for you own kid to not tell you they’re married when you assumed you had a good relationship must suck though.

[@threeducks157]

The gym esh comment ticked me off, that was just blantly victim blaming the op was accused simply for the fa t that he was a guy that as all phones have a freaking sound by law ...

[@Mewse1203]

Story 4: NTA but her behavior is concerning. Ring shopping the weekend of the first date to see if he's serious? Cut off contact with friends? All after 12 weeks? There is something off going on here. I think OP needs to show up just to make sure she's OK. Something weird is happening. Edit: Mark, I'm with you. Her behavior is off. Edit after comments: after thinking about it, and hearing the "last chance at love" commenr, I think her behavior is more on the abusive side than victim side. She is making crazy demands on the first date, acting incredibly fast, and I just get the sense she's trying to overwhelm the poor guy into being with her.

[@carlrood4457]

To be honest, the fact the guy didn't run when she asked to go ring shopping the first weekend is troubling as well. It's like two very desperate people feeding on each other's desperation.

[@zachf748]

Story #2 - He kept it secret and didn’t tell his family because he was worried they wouldn’t take it well. But then when he randomly just dumps everything on them, he’s shocked at their reaction and was surprised they weren’t happy for him?… How he sees this situation is entirely bizarre and illogical. What one is it? You can’t believe (1) that your family wouldn’t take the news well *_and_* also (2) believe that your family will be completely ok with your marriage and be happy about the news… they’re mutually exclusive.

[@ineedhoez]

Causing the rejection you are trying to avoid.

[@yef122]

With the gym story - I can kinda see both sides but I find it ironic that to prove Belinda's privacy wasn't violated, requires OP's privacy to be violated.

[@stephenlundy5082]

Story 1: NTA. The daughter knew what she was doing but did it anyway. At 20 she was old enough to know right from wrong, but she did it anyway thinking she was safe from the consequences of her actions. Kicking her out was appropriate.

[@SKP049]

uh story 4 sounds like the friend is the abusive one not the bf she wanted him to be committed made him to go ring shopping and wants to move in with her thats suspicious as fuck tbh

[@kitzune2392]

2nd story: Honestly, I feel alot of the comments have never heard of the phrase, hope for the best, prepare for the worst, because sounds like thats what OP mostly did, and I'd he also needs some time to process their reactions and their feelings aswell, I can totally relate to him, and I can see why he feels that way, all his life he's had to keep it a secret because he's scared of the reaction he'll get, and he finally feels even if it's the worst reaction, he doesn't need them for financial support, so he finally worked up the courage to tell them, and in his eyes probably aligned with the worse side of reactions you can get. Now, that definitely wasn't what he was hoping for, even if he knew it was probably going to be the case, but I can also see why the family reacted the way they did, their son had lied to them, and even if it was because he was just scared of their reaction. Plus on top of the fact his mother may link being gay to that one experience she's had dating someone only to turn out they're gay, which I can also see why that guy would do, maybe not the most accepting time back then, or maybe he only found out during it, who knows, but that could've struck a nerve. I can see both sides, and I can see why everyone did what they did, but I can't say any really sucked here, it just seems like no one is in the wrong, nor in the right, they're just, in the middle.

[@BruinPhD2009]

For Story 2, I honestly think it’s a No AH situation. Speaking from experience, the fact is you simply don’t know how people will react when you come out. Just because his family never gave any indications of homophobia doesn’t mean that the “moment of truth” wouldn’t unveil some ugly truths from unexpected places. I lost some very close family and friends when I came out, while some people I thought would never speak to me again have been the most supportive. It’s one of the few circumstances in which I honestly believe if you’ve not lived through it, you really can’t comment someone’s timing, expectations, etc. It’s a vulnerable and (perhaps) frightening time for everyone involved and let’s be honest, some people never recover. With stakes that high, normal logic often goes out the window.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@BruinPhD2009 yea, all the yta comments in this one pissed me off, I'm straight, but can see why OP did what they did, why can't they?

[@kitzune2392]

@@BruinPhD2009 Exactly what I was thinking!

[@kitzune2392]

@@BruinPhD2009 Also, glad I'm not the only one, got kinda scared from the out of YTA in the video, plus some on the comments

[@Koji-Alistair]

Well said

[@Pidgeyato]

Only thing I'm curious abt in Story 1 is the "revoking car privileges" thing. Does Eva have her own car that she pays for? Or does she have a car that OP pays for? Or, does the car that Eva uses belong entirely to OP & he would just allow her to borrow it? But that's not too important to the story rly. Anyways OP 1 is definitely NTA in my book.

[@stillvisibletoallusers]

Wouldn't he have to own it to be able to revoke use? He can't just take the property of his adult child can he? Assuming she's as malicious as she sounds, she probably would have called the police on him if it was in her name.

[@dash9641]

I'm going to say NAH for the second story. Op has the right to come out when he wants, he also has the right to be hurt his family just all got up and walked out on him after giving his news. OP's family also has the right to be upset he never told them. I think what the family should have done is just said, "We're not angry about your sexuality, we love you regardless and are happy for you however we are deeply hurt you didn't feel like you could trust us to tell you this sort of thing. We just need some time to cool off and will get back with you soon." That's literally it, if anything the mom is kind of being a bit extra with the whole "I can choose if I want to talk to my lying son ever again." But honestly she just might be hurt. Everyone needs to cool off and clear their head then maybe talk it out later.

[@kindallchase3949]

Ikr everyone’s kinda worrying about how the family and not about OP

[@thedestroyasystem]

Agreed

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Reddit is very anti safety and in pride month its kinda funny, depressing but not surprising.

[@zombiexi1292]

I guess reddit forgot the parents who aren't homophobic till their kid comes out then they flip on a dime. Or the parents who disown their gay kid for coming out. Like op just wanted to be fully independent of them so if they turned out homophobic they wouldn't be trapped with that. So NTA

[@wmdkitty]

How does the family have any right to be upset?

[@Coira2]

Story 4: I'm sorry, I had to listen to the story twice because I was so floored. Granted, I'm firmly rooted in the "just friends with benefits" camp, but is the friend actually okay? Being committed is one thing, but that's moving awfully fast, I'm worried she might get herself stuck just because she's hoping her friend will be a support system if she needs a quick out from a relationship.

[@tabithavanderpool418]

Honestly I hate to stereotype but she is a woman in her thirties and might be hearing that stupid "biOLoGiCal clOCk" ticking and be trying to push for a long term relationship

[@mkuti-childress3625]

She almost sounds like someone bipolar who isn’t taking their meds. Or he’s abusive, or _she’s_ abusive, or who knows what else. Something is definitely off, though.

[@Coira2]

@@tabithavanderpool418maybe, but to a scary extreme. Almost like a caricature from a movie. I don't like to stereotype either. The OP also seems very accepting of the situation, like maybe she's done this before?

[@tabithavanderpool418]

@@Coira2 definitely. The fact the friend seems so casual about it definitely suggests she's done this before

[@carlrood4457]

How can one be committed when they don't even know each other? The ring shopping request is bizarre. Changing jobs and moving after only 12 weeks is bizarre. They fact that he didn't immediately back away is bizarre as well. Even without any malicious intent, these are not the makings of a healthy relationship.

[@chinatsukiseki4210]

Honestly, for story 2, NTA. I understand how hard it is to come out (Biromantic/Asexual in my case) and was basically forced to come out by my family a few years back after my sister let it out that I had a crush on a friend. The family don't have to be informed of OP being married or having been in a relationship. It's a basic thing called privacy. If he didn't want to want to inform his family or wasn't comfortable at the time, he surely didn't have to them anything about his relational or marital status. Even if he lied. He was also worried that his family were homophobic or even had a slight inch of homophobia. He could've react in a different way to his family's response but, either than that, he was wholeheartedly NTA.

[@madokamiiii]

^ this!

[@tabithavanderpool418]

Yeah notice how all the YTA comments are from obviously straight people who have never had to fear their parents reaction to certain news.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@tabithavanderpool418 AGREED! I hated all the "You should empathize with how your mother feels!" Soooooo, you want a gay man to empathize with a homophobe, in order to make her feel better about her homophobia? WTF?! He was right to hide it from them! Even their BS excuse of "You lied to us about being straight, and THAT is why we're mad!" is ridiculous! Their reaction is exactly why he was terrified, and I hope he gets some actual GOOD advice instead of letting the poison of those homophobic, heteronormative assholes drip into his ears.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

The reddit comments in that post are absolutely insane, no one owes their coming out, and he wasn't lying, it's their fault for assuming he was straight. Everyone has straight as the "default" and that's not op's problem, his family's reaction is completely irrational.

[@The_Note_lt]

I see coming out as not a problem. Hiding the fact that he got married made him the AH. He did not go NC with his family before so dropping a bombshell like that makes him the AH. Fuck if me and my GF would get married in secret my mother would flip her shit. Its common decency to tell his familly about events like this.

[@jamestown8398]

Story #1 NTA. Eva destroyed a precious memento of OP's late wife, her late mother, with the deliberate intention of breaking his heart. Moreover she's 20 years old , by no means a child anymore. If OP disowned and disinherited Eva my vote would still be NTA. Story #2 YTA. OP made his family feel as though he didn't trust them, with seemingly no good reason to, and naturally they feel hurt by this. Story #3 NTA. There's so much wrong here. Belinda falsely accused OP, slandered him in front of the gym, and then the gym manager took a "guilty until proven innocent" approach, with the threat of banning him if he couldn't prove his innocence. Belinda having a bad experience in the past does not excuse her accusing every man with a cellphone based on gut feeling alone. If the gym had banned OP then he would have been morally right to sue them. Story #4 NTA. The friend asked for moving help on too short a notice, that's too short an imposition for OP.

[@MGP2210]

12:29 As an aside: Going commando at the gym is gross 😐

[@jennilynne1977]

Much love to you Mark and everyone else as well as well..

[@MarkNarrations]

Much love Jenny, hope you're good!

[@jennilynne1977]

@@MarkNarrations I'm doing ok for the most part. Just been a bit tired lately. I think part of that is because of the really high temperatures the last few days. 💖💖😊🤗

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

I get the feeling with the first story that the daughter is still raging and if I was the original poster I will prepare myself for the Dora to come back and get even you threw me out of the house and force me to apologize over something minor so I'm going to the store something that was precious to you. It's only going to get worse until he gets the courts involved and basically forces the courts to get her involuntarily checked into a mental health facility she's only going to get worse. I wouldn't be surprised if Eva just comes to the house and set the house on fire. This is a girl that's not only hurt and maybe going through some trauma but definitely is going for blood at this point. The original poster is not in the wrong but he needs to prepare himself for any and all situations especially this

[@Siinwu]

that last one... WTF? i agree on Mark there... id nope the heck out there, the friend seems crazy

[@huinismith]

Story 1: I'm getting some intense "We Need to Talk About Kevin" vibes.

[@notevenlistening6072]

Absolutely.

[@wmdkitty]

So. Many. Red flags.

[@bryanbyrd3305]

Me too

[@owl7072]

Story 2: NTA. Coming out can be scary as hell dude, you never know how someone will react. Hell, my mom says she supports me but is horrendous with dead naming me and misgendering me, I could be presenting as masculine, and she'd still go "this is my daughter, (dead name)" to people when we meet them or doesn't correct people we already know and I either have to deal with it or awkwardly explain that that isn't my name then face her passive aggressiveness later. And don't even get me started on me being bi, she's weird about that too but in a way that's more difficult to explain. Point is, coming out is something that can really make a person's true colors show one way or another, and OP waiting until he couldn't be affected by any repercussions had they been hostile is a smart move and I honestly wish I could erase my mom's memory of me coming out so I could do the same.

[@LokasennaCole]

And they definitely showed their colors. They were all way more upset about the lie and then the fact that he was gay

[@ineedhoez]

Stop the cap. They would have been just as mad if OP was straight and hid a marriage.

[@SenseiRaisen]

4: The more i heard the more it get worse. He wasn't the issue ... THE FRIEND WAS THE ISSUE ALL ALONG!!. That behaviour not only if off but also downright abusive.

[@NikolaiTheJester]

Stort 2 I completley disagree. It is terrifying as a member of the LGBT to come out to your family when you dont know where they stand. No matter how much you trust them, you cant be sure that they wont kick you out, cut you off, or even hurt you and your partner. Not to mention why should they have to hold off their wedding for people that dont need to be there. It's hard to gauge where your family stands on LGBT topics and it is common not to come out until the point where you are independent from them. That time just so happened to be after they got married. I can see why he got mad.

[@zerobolt9506]

Yea, I'm straight, but can see why OP did what they did, I'm floored by all the yta comments

[@asmith8692]

Many who come out to family will do so while physically distant or independent. Since there's always a chance the family will throw the LGBT person out of the family, it is always nerve-wracking when you come out. Speaking both as someone who came out and as someone who supported a neighbor and their kid when kiddo came out 1000 miles away.

[@okayoc1545]

holy fuck. nta for story 1: she needs more therapy. she cannot take responsibility, uses slurs, and went out of her way to cause emotional distress. she needs to go

[@lily-zg6io]

I'm gonna come to story 2 as an LGBT person: coming out is scary, wanting to be fully independent when you come out is wise because there are way too many families that are fine with gay people until one of their family members comes out as gay. However, OP was unsure of their reaction but went into this zoom call with the expectation that they would all be super happy, it seems like a bit of weird logic. Yes, it sucks that OP didn't get the reaction he wanted from this, but this news could very well have read to the family as he thinks that they are all so homophobic that he needs to hide the biggest thing in his life them. It also raises the question: what else could he have been hiding? His parents probably also feel hurt that they missed all the milestones of OP's relationship with his husband: the formal introduction to the family, hearing about/helping them move into a new house, learning about the proposal, perhaps help to plan the wedding, and most importantly, being there in some form to see OP getting married to the love of his life. That must be incredibly hurtful and I understand their immediate reaction as they were cut out from a huge bit of their son's life for 3 years. OP is TA for thinking he has the right to be the only one hurt in this situation

[@jadedflames2809]

I feel like the slightly bigger problem was the events than the coming out. Just mix those two together and it's a lot to take in at once. And OP kinda dismissed the reactions and expected the best

[@jadeddragoon]

"Since they have never given you any reason to think they would be homophobic... you assumed they would be." No. He assumed that if they were and he was financially dependent on them then the repercussions to him could be life destroying. Only a complete fool ignores the potential consequences just because they _think_ those consequences won't ever happen. And when the consequences are as potentially life changing as people with financial power over you deciding you are mentally ill and need to be cured or that you're demon possessed or whatever... you don't take the risk no matter how sure you are. And the fact that there was any doubt in his mind that his parents would be supportive is itself and indication that they _had_ given him reason to suspect they might turn on him... even if he tries to paint a pretty picture about his family cause he still loves them and doesn't want people to think it's even possible for them to be such. If we lived in a world where parents were actually generally trustworthy and actually generally cared more about their children than their politics... it would be a dick move to hide this. But we don't live in that world as much as people prefer to pretend we do. I know first hand what it's like to be vilified for asking others for protection from your own parents when they are, in fact, hurting you. You're incredibly naive to believe the OP in that case couldn't possibly have been being reasonable. Wanting to be financially self sufficient before revealing something that could go very badly against you is bare minimum prudence. Anything less than that is self destructive naivety.

[@lsmmoore1]

This. And sometimes there are other forces out there - very powerful forces (social ones) that can pressure parents into being less supportive than they otherwise would be. Forces like that are the reason I hid the abuse I got in special ed from my own parents for well over a decade (more than twenty years, if you count years before graduating from high school). In my case, they were special ed professionals who had no clue how to actually handle autism and who implied, very heavily, that there were no better child-rearers in the world than them. And looking at the way other parents react - many of them cave to the pressures placed by these professionals even when the professionals have no clue what they are doing and pull reasoning behind autistic behaviors they are supposed to be trained to handle out of their asses.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Story 3, you just know that if the roles were reversed, no one would hesitate to throw the guy out of the gym, and the management wouldn’t hesitate to ban the guy NTA, and I’d file a complaint to corporate

[@amberscott90]

Mark these stories keep me going through my 10-12 hour work days! Love these keep the great work going!

[@christyclarissemercier6359]

I feel sorry for the gay son but I think he should have at least given them the chance to attend the wedding, not come out AFTER he got married in secret..

[@runawayfromtoads674]

I feel for OP in story 2. I myself am not out despite being in a relationship with someone for 5 years. My sibling is aware. But my parents are not. There are way too many horror stories of people coming out. I fear any of those being my outcome. Which is why I'm silent and planning to tell them when I'm financially capable of leaving if ever I get thrown out. I am well aware my parents are accepting - but I know the rest of my family won't be; I'm well aware of how I will be alienated from my family if this comes to light. I'm not scared of leaving. I'm scared of my parents not seeing me as their child and wanting nothing to do with me. Or being seen as sinful, a disgrace. Or even worse, for the rest of my family members to patronize and belittle my parents, who both have been wonderful for raising me. I think OP was right in coming out when they're ready. I understand why he negatively reacted to the disappointment. But they were in the wrong. They're not completely an AH either but telling the truth too late can hurt others who are open to being supportive. I feel as if they would not have reacted as much if he just introduced his husband as his long time partner. Even less if he opened up when he was engaged at least. That said, both parties need to heal. And OP needs to apologize in time. It hurts for both parties. But they can't close the gap if they alienate each other and try to not reconnect.

[@damien678]

STORY 2. nta, and him not coming out sooner is clearly justified with how terribly they acted, so you cant pull the "youre a liar" shit when coming out is known to be an incredibly hard thing. i wouldnt even be surprised if theyre using the "liar" angle to cover up just being homophobes.

[@scousemouse9566]

Story 1, NTA, you child is in bad need of help though, they need to see a therapist asap 🧇🧇🧇🧇

[@AnymousScreams]

For story two, I relate to OP. I'm bi, and female, but my family forced me to come out by teasing me comstantly about boyfriends. At the time, I and another woman were mildly interested in each other. Lost family over that years later, and then to other family and frirnds, it could never be said again. OP did what was best for him. Could have been handled better, but I get OP. Longest five minutes of silence ever.

[@Pidgeyato]

hecc yea new Mark video! Always a joy to watch :DDD

[@1911odisea]

22:20 It seem pretty disgusting to me that everyone automatically assumes that the guy is the abuser, when literally all the signs point the her pushing him.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

Story 2: op is yta. I'd be devastated if my son kept a secret like a long term relationship, engagement, and marriage from me. I wouldn't care if their partner was male, female, non-binary. It would be about the secret. He didn't even let them get to know his 'best friend'. He did everything he could to hide his sexuality from them. If I was that mum I'd be heart broken.

[@jadedflames2809]

While this is OP's big moment, the fact that OP revealed that he was married and kinda was an ass about the reaction, expecting that this is something casual reaction, it rubs me off the wrong way. I understand what OP is feeling, but he just told his family that he has been dating and got married and the family didn't even get to know about it mid dating at least. Everyone is in shock and OP did kinda played the victim card a slight bit.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

@@jadedflames2809 oh definitely. And it was said in the video he didn't tell them out of fear of their reaction but he then expected happiness from them over a dick move. His sexuality is irrelevant to the family. None of them reacted badly to him being gay. It was the fact that he didn't either trust them or care about them to introduce an important person to them earlier and now his upset cause they had an understandable reaction. I feel sorry for the husband too. OP just treated him like crap too

[@whiteravenkpopfan]

Hey Mark, I know you like when you can find out where your listeners are from and what we're doing, haha. I'm from New Zealand and today I'm watching while making/eating breakfast. But honestly, your videos are the best background noise. Ranging from dishes and laundry, video games to even while I was out donating blood ☺ thanks again for you videos 💙

[@MarkNarrations]

Whilst out donating blood?! Amazing human, well done :)

[@Habitarse]

To story 2: I think everyone is bashing him for his coming out, but the parents never ask themselves that they didn’t gave him trust enough to come out and are playing the victim. That’s so wrong. It’s never to suppose that a family will react positively to a coming out. We, LGBTIQIA+, don’t have this confidence that our sexuality/identity will be seen as ok. We see worldwide so many crimes against us just because of hate.

[@reptiles3244]

LGB* the rest of those letters are attention seekers who want confrontation

[@barbaraunderwood1762]

That daughter had no right to cut up her fathers love letters. Last story no way would I suggest to go ring shopping on a first date. That guy needs to run

[@beckyhartley9502]

Story 3 is suspect. Brenda has accused people before, wears no underwear and see through leggings when she specifically squats?! Oh commenter, the clothing is very relevant along with her history since it sounds like Brenda wanted a video of her being "the victim". I've had creepers and stalkers but I also know bait and professional victims when I see them.

[@chazk4110]

She needs some tough love as she has become a spoilt brat. She needs to grow up. Maybe she will learn the consequences and make a real effort to apologize. Not only did she destroy her letters that belonged to her father, but that was her mother that she basically cut ties with too, She wanted to annihilate her dad with revenge. She needs some counseling and to realize that there are consequences to her actions. Plus, it's about time she got out. She probably thinks she can play the victim too. I hope her friends talk some sense into her. She needs to get a job and be on her merry way. Perhaps she will grow up and she can start repairing relationships with her family.

[@JP-eh4ee]

Story 2:. Can't really say OP is the AH because his decision was made because he was influenced by stories everywhere about parents doing a 180 because they came out as gay. Stories about families being acceptable of their child's gender are rarely seen/shared by people because for privacy reasons or just the lack of dramatic drama. However he messed up because his family didn't show disappoinment that he was gay but because he lied to them that he was already married for 3 years. Since I don't know the family I can only say weddings might be important occasions for the family. OP was ready for the anger but didn't expect disappoinment. So just automatically went to his prepared reply for anger. Yeah this was a huge misunderstanding. OP messed up, and should look on things on how to rebuild the trust he broke.

[@Doublemonk0506]

It's somewhere between NAH and ESH. Of course OP had reason to hide, it's seems like practical suicide to come out with all of the horror stories you hear. However, the family did deserve to know who their child was. I think it's a mixed pot of emotions at the moment

[@t.matthies3049]

@@Doublemonk0506 Yeah, it's a tough one for me, but I think you're right. And people are allowed to be worried that people will take their coming out badly, and still be disappointed when they're not supportive (even if you were kind of expecting it, I imagine there's also a lot of hope that they'll still be supportive). As a parent, I'd probably be upset myself, but I think I would be more upset about them not trusting me than about lying. If my child had that little trust in me, I think I'd feel like a failure as a mother. I'm not sure I'd be that upset with them, given the stigma that exists, but it's hard to tell unless you've experienced that situation.

[@SupremeCommanderBaiser]

Not even heard the story, but not the a hole. This is cruel beyond anything.

[@Maizie_Alice]

I’m watching this while playing a bit of stardew valley and enjoying my last hour or so of freedom before I have to go to bed for work tomorrow 😭😂 hope you’re having a nice evening Mark!

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 2 - I can't decide if this is an ESH or a NAH. Story 3 - If some rando suddenly started accusing me of taking inappropriate pictures of them and demanded to see my phone I don't think I'd let them either - whether I had anything uncensored or not! I'm not sure about the neutral third party, but I can see where OP is coming from. If this woman had been creeped on before, that does explain her behavior somewhat.

[@kellypatterson8506]

1st story... big not the arsehole... she did what she did to inflict MAXIMUM emotional damage.

[@saltytoshiro3685]

Day 155, video 2 of reminding Mark that he's amazing and that his work is appreciated ❤️

[@MarkNarrations]

Thank you Salty :)

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@MarkNarrations Hi Mark! I apologize for hijacking the post to ask if you could pretty please post the link to the second story so we can send OP and his husband some love! It's Pride month, and we have come too far to be told all of our experiences, all the people murdered, beaten, and disowned in the name of heteronormativity, and all those who have paved the way for the future LGBT+ people don't matter. It's gross that the Redditors were trying to gaslight OP into believing that he was in the wrong for being rightfully afraid of his family's reaction. He even tried to justify his mother's vitriol with "she already had issues with gay men". Reddit can be disgusting sometimes, and this is one of those times, so can you please share the link so we can share some love and much needed internet hugs with him? Thanks Mark!

[@mayuravirus6134]

Just kicking her out is just putting it lightly she really wanna get disowned afaik with that kind of attitude and if she has the audacity to come back just to have inheritance her sibling can just call the police and maybe take it to court

[@LadyLeomon]

1) NTA, she’s well on her way to becoming a monster, hell she already is because of what she did! 2) OP be honest “they’re not homophobic, the topic of LGBT just never came up” ... this sounds like code for “they’re totally homophobic but I don’t want to flat-out call them that” to me! But no matter what to just drop it like that “oh hey I’m married to my best-roommate (who happens to be a guy btw)” and expect automatic congrats is just naive. 3) NTA, your option was acceptable, I dare people to flip the genders and say different! 4) NTA, sad to say it looks like this “friendship” has run its course. Thanks for the new vid WaffleBoss 💙🐱💙

[@helookalikaman79]

15:45 Women Innocent until proven guilty Men guilty until proven innocent (but we all know it is the lawyers that got that "Innocent" verdict) Same old tired "You were looking at me" and when you don't it gets flipped to "What am I not good enough? Do you think I am ugly?" A catch 22, damned if you do, damned if you don't!

[@phantomthiefblood]

The gym one was complete bs. I would have called the cops over such allegations have them sort out the camera situation and then filed harassment charges. Just because she has issues doesn't mean she can accuse someone of doing that without reprucussions. The gym staff was way out of line asking him for access to his device to sort out the disgusting attention drawing bs.

[@nessa4042]

For story 3, nta. I can totally understand wanting to make sure you have your life together before you come out to your parents, I've had two relationships and I never told my family about either of them, to them they were just my friends, its not that I think my family are bad people, for me it was that they like to tease a lot, I know they don't mean anything by it but it really got to me when I was younger and I developed the habit of hiding things from them so as not to get teased, cause I felt like they were making fun of me, so I never told them when I got a boyfriend. When I was younger and questioning my sexuality, I once asked them what they'd do if I had a gay friend and brought them to visit my house and my stepdad made a joking comment that he'd throw them out, and that worried me cause I couldn't tell if he was just joking or if he was serious and he wouldn't allow a gay person in our house, and it made me scared to actually ask how they felt about me possibly being lgbtq+, so I hid it and my relationships, I didn't want to risk my family treating me differently when I still depended on them(I was in highschool) or put up with teasing or possible bullying from my siblings, even though now I think my sister would be okay with it cause she's very vocal about people being able to love whoever they want and being able to be themselves no matter what they identify as, so she'd probably be the first I go to, and though I don't know about my mom I know she'd love/support me no matter what even if she didn't understand. So I really get where op was coming from and though you can't expect people to automatically be happy cause it was a shock I imagine he's agonized over hiding this for years and while I understand it could be a shock the parents definitely could have tried to be more empathetic and tried to understand why op hid it for so long. Just cause someone hasn't said they're homophobic doesn't mean they aren't, for many its safer the err on the side of caution no matter how much you love your family.

[@z0mb1egutzz]

Story 1: NTA. that is so fucking cruel. Her transphobia to your youngest and now this. She is fucking vile. Story 2: NTA, it is your choice to come out when ready. You were keeping yourself and your husband safe.You didn't even have to tell them, they aren't entitled to know. Story 3: YTA, since she has a previous case of this. It is dangerous to be a woman, in her mind she probably felt terrified. You aren't the asshole for not showing your phone but the way you describe her and seem to frame her like an insane woman. Story 4: I feel so odd and conflicted. OP sounds jealous and a bit of an attention hog. Everyone sounds really mentally gone in this story idk

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! I hope all is well and I wish you a great night!!

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey Chulu as always, wishing you an equally or better great night :)

[@darrellbeam8053]

2nd story. Dude is the AH. Doesn’t matter that he’s gay, it’s that he hid everything else.

[@RedReaper666OG]

Story 2: YTA - family ain't pissed because OP's gay, they're pissed cause he hit the fact that he's in love

[@joimumu]

Or married

[@digitalharmony26]

That first story made me shake in anger. The smug, audacious bitch. She’s nasty, vindictive and proud of it. I am so sorry.

[@lindseypitkam6629]

Story #3. NTA, but next time just call the police and if necessary, show them ( and only them ) the phone. While yes, I do realize you wanted to keep your privacy ... you also have to think of your safety and your reputation. By you being the one calling the police, you prove your innocence and throw it back on her and then ask the police to request her to remove your image and recordings off her phone. She still has a recording of you.

[@AntisocialclubSJ]

Second story is NTA. It’s okay to be disappointed or hurt that OP didn’t come out to them earlier or tell them about his marriage but their reactions are telling. His mom played the victim, dad refused to speak to him and brother is mad he didn’t admit to being gay when he wasn’t ready to come out. I wonder why he wasn’t ready to come out to them until he has a support system…

[@zerobolt9506]

Yes this, I'm straight, but could see why with all the problems someone of the LBGQ+ community faces why OP waited until now, could he have wait to get married until later on yea he could, but that doesn't make him an ah, like for real all those that's calling OP an AH would be saying NTA if they showed having had a problem with him being gay.

[@unicornjennie]

S3 NTA I'd file a complaint with the gym and the police. Your phone is private. Her behavior is deplorable, and I'd ask her to be banned from the gym.

[@TNTMAN360]

Hey Mark I joined back as a member just like I said I would hope you're having a wonderful day

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww TNT mate, thank you but make sure you look after yourself first my friend

[@TNTMAN360]

@@MarkNarrations I'm working on setting a new budget in the budget contains the membership cost so I shouldn't have to leave as a member anytime soon

[@MarkNarrations]

@@TNTMAN360 You're a lovely dude! Remember that

[@TNTMAN360]

@@MarkNarrations thank you I've had a rough day hearing that lifted my spirits

[@digitalharmony26]

@@TNTMAN360 I feel like I’m intruding on a secret convo in here but I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day. Here is some love from an internet stranger, you seem like a great person. I hope you have a better day tomorrow!

[@n.e9831]

Story 2 - I think YTA for not coming out, but from springing your marriage and life partner on your family and expecting them to be ecstatic about it. As a mother I would feel incredible sadness that my child felt they couldn't trust me with such important details about their lives and wonder where and when I went wrong. I think a deep and meaningful conversation needs to be had where OP can be vulnerable and explain where they were coming from and also the family needs to be vulnerable and open about their feelings so they can move forward and attempt to repair their relationships. I wouldn't call it lying, more so omitting the truth but being disappointed at their reaction is an AH move

[@Mewse1203]

May the bounty of the Waffle Maker feed you when you're hungry. Take care of yourselves. Don't play stupid games and don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

[@MarkNarrations]

Cheers Dominic as always :)

[@Mewse1203]

@@MarkNarrations you too. Enjoy your evening!

[@huinismith]

Just in time! I have some laundry to fold and put away. BTW, it's a cold and cloudy day in here.

[@MarkNarrations]

We got storms rolling in here the next couple of days, looking forward to the cool air :)

[@huinismith]

@@MarkNarrations You're so sweet for taking the time to answer! I wish I could send you some cool air across the ocean.