r/AmITheA**hole For Reporting My Upstairs Neighbour For Their Child With Down Syndrome r/AITA

[@itjustmemanning8441]

Switching apartments would be a lot of work for everyone. NTA, that mother isn't helping her child at all.

[@TheNormExperience]

Plus is if the child is making that much noise stomping the floor and smashing the walls then there’s probably damage.

[@niyablake]

It'sa condo so they can't just do that

[@allisonwinchester3108]

@@niyablake depends on how their management is. If they're privately owned or if they're like a complex run by 1 management company. If they're privately owned then you're correct.

[@terramarini6880]

There is a chance the posters condo may be ground floor with a garden. Not a good trade.

[@Mistfall254]

Plus the victim blaming aswell.

[@indianspartan76]

Story 2: commenters are being way too lenient to the son. He's not a child, he's 20! OP NTA. But he should have found another way to have this conversation

[@beckyhartley9502]

Story 2: The Redditors enabling the sons crappy behaviour is disgusting, he's not that damned oblivious.

[@corrinnelee2959]

Story 1: My kiddo is autistic but has a lot of the same behavioural difficulties as the DS child in the story. One of his favourite outlets is to kick his bedroom wall (which is our neighbours wall too) and I cannot express to him enough how inconsiderate he's being to the neighbours. Yes, he's only 11, but he needs to learn how to function in society. Thankfully I have the most understanding neighbours and they've never complained, but I would never dream of F-ing and blinding at them if they did. I've even dropped cards through their door thanking them for being so tolerant. OP is absolutely NTA.

[@wombat4583]

The noise is during typically day hours that is covered by most bylaws. Noise is also typical of neighbours. The kid probably is learning how to function in society. That doesn't happen in a day. I'm honestly sick of how ableist Reddit is most days. People often use reasonable accommodations and normal even in typical children things as they must be a perfect child and have no mistakes. Even more many programs to further support these kinds of family are completely cut off or heavily restraint right now on top of everything.

[@wmdkitty]

@@wombat4583 There's noise, and there's _noise_ -- this is the latter, unreasonable, ongoing, and it's seriously disrupting other people's lives.

[@azadalamiq]

@@wombat4583 you try living next to someone with a kid who is up at ALL HOURS screaming bloody murder, jumping so much you fear he gonna fall through the floor.

[@azadalamiq]

try putting a plush cover on the wall he kicks to dampen the sound or teach him better outlets instead of kicking the wall.

[@wombat4583]

@@wmdkitty The threshold for noise is actually quite high. I could play an instrument at full volume (even if there are ways to reduce it) without any repercussions. Kids make noise, both with boisterous tones and in their actions. Sometimes you hear people having sex, sometimes an animal making noise etc. As long as it's within daytime hours most bylaws find most noise reasonable. If you hear it a block away that might be a different story. Also when frustrated people overblow the situation and feel like it occurs more or longer than it does.

[@canadaiantenten]

Story 2. NTA. While giving the eviction notice during the baby shower was messed up the "son" is a total asshole for treating the man who raised him like this. Op shouldn't have to put up with the disrespect any longer

[@owl7072]

Story 2: I'm sorry but "If he has never lived on his own then he has no idea how much he has relied on you. His actions were insensitive but he might have been oblivious to that." He is in COLLEGE. He's not a 10 year old anymore, he can't play the oblivious card anymore. He knew what he was doing was rude and hurtful, and disrespectful as hell yet when he messed up and got his girlfriend pregnant he went to OP then proceeded to start trashing the very man doing him a major favor by allowing *both of them* to live with him so they can keep the baby and continue going to college. He doesn't get to be upset, he knew what he would do and say was hurtful, that's why he would do/say it when he thought OP wasn't listening. That's why you don't bite the hand that feeds you.

[@songohan3321]

Story 2 was a bit rough to get through.

[@owl7072]

@@songohan3321 it really was tbh

[@lily-zg6io]

Agree, if he's old enough to have a child, he is old enough to know the value of money and basic respect. But I can't get out of my mind that the GF, who seems to be innocent from the post and the baby are going to be put in a very difficult situation, which could have been solved with communication on OP's part. And the commenters are right that OP gave the eviction notice on the baby shower was essentially a dramatic stunt. That last part makes him TA as well for me

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

💯 agree with you ❤️❤️

[@owl7072]

@@lily-zg6io yeah he *definitely* could have picked a better time to do it but I can't blame him for making them leave in general, I do feel bad for the girlfriend and baby but if she's gonna be mad at anyone she should be mad at the son for hurting OP to the point he did that to begin with. If I heard my partner repeatedly trashing the person giving us a place to stay and talking about how their "real dad" is better, then we suddenly got kicked out I'd be livid.

[@dergluckliche4973]

2nd story: NTA. Not the kid's dad? Kid doesn't want him as a dad? So be it. 20 years old still living under not-dad's roof, not-dad paying for school AND moving the knocked-up girlfriend into not-dad's house? Way past time to take out the trash.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

Damn straight!

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@FoxyMomma4ever Agreed. The only way I might see him as an AH is because he took the baby shower as the chance to do it, but even then it'd be an ESH. OP has done his "son" more than enough favors. He doesn't get to milk you for what you're worth while running home to his "real" dad. And to all the comments saying he has a right to a relationship with his bio dad, he absolutely does. He does NOT, however, have a right to disrespect and belittle the man who raised him and treated him as his son.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

@@thedestroyasystem I couldn't agree more!

[@JLee-gm6jx]

My father walked into the kitchen while the story was being read, I did ask his opinion on the story afterwards his response: " well if I was in that fathers shoes and you had treated me the way he was treated by his son, I must say I will be heartbroken. Mostly because I have raised and cared for the child as if he were my own. If my child under my guardianship was to get someone pregnant and not have a place to stay, then by all means I will accept them into my own home rent free. But in that mans case it would make sense to consider his so called son a tenant and just charge him a reasonable amount of rent. Just as a lesson."

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA The lack of respect that kid showed to the dad who raised him and is current supporting him and his PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND is ridiculous. If he doesn't want OP as his dad, he doesn't get thr benefit. OP had zero problem with the relationship,

[@oliwiaprywatnie2306]

Maybe father could talk to his son about his feelings insted of kicking him out when he's hurt? Not everyone could read minds. Boy discovered he isn't his dad's son, that is huge, we don't know how dad was parenting him for years, but he don't seem great at articulating his feelings to his own son. Maybe son wanted his bio dad to feel more welcome bc he wasn't in his life for majority of it, maybe he thinks his dad treated him differently bc he isn't his bio child? We don't know, but lack of communication is concerning.

[@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax]

@@oliwiaprywatnie2306 OMG...You clearly don't get it at all

[@shhd2105]

Exaclty I didnt understand what those redditors were talking about

[@gaywerewolf1294]

@@oliwiaprywatnie2306 lmao, what people say behind your back and not to your face is extremely telling of who they actually are. Him saying "my real dad" behind OP's back shows that his "son" doesn't actually view him as a father, just some ATM

[@sablerivera7095]

So a child that never got the opportunity to connect with their biological parent is an asshole for wanting to connect with that parent? Totally makes sense. His family lied to him for years. Of course he'd has some resentment from that. But giving an unborn child the gift of homelessness in front of family and friends at a baby shower, because baby showers are for gifts for the baby not the parents, all because he didn't get a shirt screams he's probably been a dick before to me.

[@justinjones-smith5168]

Story 3: NTA. She has serious issues if she gets this mad that her daughter isn't the first great grandchild.

[@TsukiKageTora]

She sounds like she is going to resent the poor boy just because of the status in the family that isn’t his fault and that clearly shouldn’t matter whatsoever

[@temp26gaming94]

Story 3 gives me a huge Crazy Rich Asians vibe lol

[@terramarini6880]

The boy is the first grandson, the girl is the first granddaughter, there fixed it. Now channel the family dog, kick some dirt over that crap and walk away.

[@thePanda_huma]

She's throwing a fit because people want to meet the baby boy and mother of the baby wheras they have already met her daughter

[@thenecroticraptor8338]

Story 2: OP is NTA "Son" needs to pound sand.

[@joshuarich2607]

Yep ex weaponized the oldest son and talked up sperm donor to hurt op in the long run.

[@ArmyOfFreaks]

Story 4. There's a saying, forgive and forget. But as I grew up I learned 4 things about this saying, 1. You are allowed to forgive and forget. 2. You are allowed to never forgive and never forget. 3. You are allowed to forgive but not forget. 4. You are allowed to forget but not forgive Op doesn't have to forgive or forget anything if they don't want too💞 Op NTA

[@gorkemaykut5230]

forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you

[@t.matthies3049]

I think forgiveness should be encouraged, as it can be wonderful for the healing process, but it does take time, and if someone isn't ready to immediately forgive, I do agree there needs to space for that. But even OP had forgiven their sister (i.e. let go of the anger enough that if she was on fire they'd put it out), that doesn't mean they're obligated to reconcile. You can forgive someone, and not want to reconcile (especially if the person hasn't changed or taken responsibility for what they did).

[@ジェス日本]

I have incorporated these videos in my daily routine now and life would be strange without them.

[@AnimeLover-iy5bv]

I have to completely agree with this statement

[@t1995roger10]

Honestly same, even if I don't comment, I still watch

[@christinar6717]

Alas, these videos are my daily routine. Lol

[@gillianfrancis3726]

I like to rewatch the old ones while I'm waiting on the new ones, definitely agree with this statement

[@whittersricchy4825]

Same

[@claws2129]

Story 2: The kid wants to spit in OP's face he gets the consequences. Let his "real dad" take care of him for once, see how great that relationship really is.

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Exactly 💯

[@jessiejeanne9717]

And u know damn well biodad knew the chick he was screwing was married. Wow, he should be so proud!!!

[@claws2129]

@@jessiejeanne9717 My thoughts exactly. Dude was happy to let OP raise his bastard though.

[@paradox5434]

I honestly can not get the esh besides choosing the baby shower everything else his fault

[@kamogirlz]

My dad taught me a saying: Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Think the 'son' in this story lived up to that perfectly.

[@francit4856]

Kids with Downs are capable of being taught. The worst parents for these kids are the ones that mostly watch them, herd them, but don't teach them. Early intervention and consistency are the key. I feel so badly for the ones I see that didn't get that. The difference as they mature between those who had very involved parents versus the "Watchers" is stark and sad and breaks my heart.

[@MaRi-dz4fu]

Story 4: a changed person, i.e. one admitting their past mistakes, should definitely be ready to hear any hateful feedback from the people they’ve hurt. The edit clearly shows OP’s sister hasn’t changed, so probably again just trying to use OP as a leverage for something. NTA and avoid her like plague

[@DD-wd2ep]

Story 1: When you have a special needs kid with behavioral problems, you really need to own a house. You can't live under or over or next to people with all of that chaos. I know this because my brother is autistic and was very violent and loud as a teen (my parents finally got him behavioral meds). It was disruptive to my childhood and it would've been worse if we had apartment neighbors (my parents owned our home). I can't imagine thinking it's okay to not at least try to control the child, or medicate him, when others are adversely affected. You can't expect strangers to adapt to your unruly child.

[@zebnemma]

Dude I encounter parents all the time that just lets their child scream as loud as they want whenever they want and stomp around on the floor/ throw toys or whatever into the floor so you hear a loud bang, and even drag furniture around 24/7 so if you live under them you will hear all of it clear as day. I get that you can't control your kid 100% cuz kids have free will but if you literally don't do anything to try to teach your kid that making loud noises is rude then you're a bad parent in my eyes cuz you are not actively raising your kid to function within a society, your just letting it run rampant like some wild animal. There was this 1 kid that would yell for 30 minutes straight, not because the kid was hurt or anything or was sad. It yelled for fun. FFS and the parents didn't tell the kid even once to stop doing that... When that happened I seriously had the urge to go out there and smack that kid and then yell at the parents that they are fucking useless. My BF even wrote them a letter where he asked if they could do anything to keep the noise down and basically the response he got was "I'm not gonna tell my kid to stop PLAYING". Yeah cuz screaming and dragging furniture around nonstop is to them just harmless kids play and if you have a problem with that then you're just an unhappy grumpy person that should mind their fucking business... OMG................... I really wanna be a fly on the wall when that kid starts to go to school. I bet that kid is gonna be hated by everyone in his class cuz who is gonna like a kid that is annoying AF and has zero grasp on what is socially acceptable behavior??? Yeah go yell into your classmates ears and you're gonna get beat up and be the pariah of your class for the next 6 years.

[@dillongage]

​​​@@zebnemmahis! This is why children need siblings. Me and my brother beat basic decency into eachother without our parents needing to intervene. If one of us did something annoying enough, the other would eventually just punch them in the face for it. You learn to be quiet when others are sleeping after the 3rd or 4th time you get punched in the back of the head for screaming at the TV in the middle of the night. You learn not to insult people unduly, after you get tackled THROUGH a wall. Pain, when coming from a peer on a similar physical level, and not an authority figure twice your size, is a great tool for imparting lessons.

[@MsTemptation]

S2: NTA. Tell him to go live with his bio dad. He's not a child. He's a grown man. These people calling you an ahole need to stfu. He's twenty years old; he definitely understands exactly what he's doing.

[@LB-gz3ke]

My question is why can't they live on their own? Or with her family? The one person they say is not related is expected to provide their housing? Entitled brats.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 4: NTA. Even if she wasn't trying to pull another con on you, because she was, you can't trust her to not do it again. I feel bad for the person she could've been.

[@benry007]

Sounds like she wasn't nice even before the drugs. I'd let her know she can come back after she has paid for all the stuff she stole. That should see her off permanently.

[@jesterbrown90]

@@benry007 She was, but her addiction took away any chance she might've had to change. Probably wishful thinking on my part, but still, the odds weren't zero.

[@Musiyca]

As someone who lives above family with 5 children - swapping apartments will not help at all. The sound goes up (just like warmth), so the screams will be actually louder. As for stomping, that depends on the building. I live in eu city center with lots of old buildings, so whenever neighbour kids start to run around their house, my floor is shaking. Not to mention when the boys pick up a soccer ball and start to bounce it, I feel every vibration. Noise complain ot the landlord is a good solution after trying to communicate with the neighbour.

[@tamsel814]

Also swapping will require a new lease. Which, at least in my country, landlords use to increase rent. If I moved to into my current apartment as a new renter I would pay about 7% more a month. Same if I moved internally

[@Itzelhaim]

Story 4: Your sister won't change . If you accept her again she'll steal everything from you again.

[@chanterelle483]

2nd story: I am gonna play the devil's advocate here... We only have OP's word that he always treated the eldest son like rest of his children. We don't know how the son feels about it at all. Children are very sensitive, even though OP believes he handled the situation well, the son might carry some hard feelings toward him. If this is the case, OP's son will see this as a proof OP doesn't love him and will most likely cut contact with him. On the other hand, yes, the son was very stupid for showing OP this much disrespect when he relied on him completely.

[@mimiandy1683]

Story 2: When it comes to this baby shower, did it take place at OP's house? If so... Ouch, for the OP. The stepson didn't really think about how it look, if that was the case: having the ex-wife's former affair partner at the house, the "grandpa" gift for the bio-dad (and possibly not for the OP, as well) and the subtle changes that was prior... Yeahhhh, ouch.

[@pansprayers]

As a disabled woman who needs various mobility aids, that mother infuriates me. This isn't a disabilty thing, this is a crappy parenting thing. I fall, I cry, I dislocate at least four large joints a day (super fun, sometimes involves a bit of muffled screaming to get them back in). I'm in pain 24/7,have been my whole life. Guess what, though? Never had a noise complaint called on me. Swap units? Nope. OP shouldn't have to eat the extra cost of an upstairs unit, nor should the building have to deal with this crap.

[@KittenUndercover]

Story 4: OP should remember the old adage ‘fool me once, shame on you..fool me twice, shame on me’. I would’ve said NAH until the update.

[@stormy8734]

Story #2 NTA The young MAN is 20 now, Not a child, and has a baby on the way. He decided OP is not his dad. OP decided it's time for the young man to move out. I hope The real dad lives up to the young mans expectations

[@LB-gz3ke]

Right, why are people reacting like he is little boy who just wants a relationship with bio dad? And why is pregnant girlfriend - not wife- OP responsibility in any way? If he isn't grandpa or dad, he owes them nothing. Time for them to grow up and see how the real world works.

[@fcold9402]

Druggie sister is just back for more money. She already showed you who she was, wish her well but do not reestablish contact. NTA.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 1: Report them. The mother isn't even trying to be considerate. NTA story 4: Who steals the copper pipes from their grandfather's house? Sister got everything she deserved. NTA

[@Mewse1203]

Story 4: NTA Addiction is hard on family and the family doesn't have any obligation to "make things right". There is a reason one of the "12 steps" is "Make amends WHEN POSSIBLE". It's not always possible, and that is something every addict has to deal with. All that is on top of the fact that OPs sister already had a 2nd chance and used it to rob the family. NTA

[@hannahwhite7227]

Story 1: NTA. It’s not about her child being disabled by any means in this situation. It’s a matter of them making noise and causing a disturbance to op, and I’m sure others around them as well. It may be understandable that she may have a difficult time keeping the son’s volume to a minimum, and I don’t want to say that the mother hasn’t tried just based on this interaction alone (she may well have, but has struggled with it). At the same time when you share a living space with other people more effort should be put into trying to respect those around you regardless of the circumstances. Saying that someone is discriminating and an asshole for requesting basic respect/decency in a shared living space is not okay. Op did the right thing by communicating that with the mom (which she doesn’t seem to want to/can’t control herself), and rightfully they should put in a complaint since nothing is being done about the noise.

[@chaotic_neutral9527]

Does anyone else find it funny how the mom accused op of being discriminatory but then was being an ableist her self.

[@blifefamilyadventures6994]

She is probably the only one raising the child and has carer burn out

[@BMakabre]

I witnessed this type of 'can of worms' when I used to work at a cinema. There was a film screening that had a special needs individual and carer watching the film. The special needs individual was screaming throughout the ENTIRE FILM, and the carer did NOTHING. When other customers got angry over the film (they paid to see) getting spoiled, the carer called them A-holes for complaining about someone with special needs. The duty manager viewed the complaining customers as being unfair to a disadvantaged individual. When someone has a form of special needs, it is not their fault - but I blame the so called 'carers' who only use their client for a free cinema ticket without giving a service of care. A number of regular carers are good and do a brilliant job and their regular clients are often lovely individuals who I have got on with and have a pleasant chat before or after they saw their film who put a smile on my face whenever they came in - but there are some carers who don't give a crap about the individuals they are supposed to care for (which had included a couple of incidents of special needs individuals wandering off unaccompanied and going missing, and one incident involving no. 2 in a cinema screen)

[@blifefamilyadventures6994]

@@BMakabre that is true and it is really sad

[@BMakabre]

@James Olelo I don't know if they got refunds or not - they might have had comp tickets issued (the disruptive special needs individual and carer were both issued comps as an apology for 'the rude customers' getting annoyed at them - it figures). The cinema has had a problem with constantly allowing disruptive individuals in to keep ruining films for everyone else, because banning them would lead to the cinema getting in trouble for 'discrimination'

[@BankruptMonkey]

Story 1 is a sucky parent. A lot of parents with disabled kids refuse to give them behavioral therapy, a trained helper, or even do diy behavioral therapy themselves. That parent could help her child even if they were extremely severe, but chooses instead to do nothing and expect the whole world to suffer for her inaction.

[@rhosealeejadaburdette3035]

Story #1: NTA, shes not helping her son and is using her sons disability as an excuse to not take care of him properly, report them

[@allisonwinchester3108]

In regards to the addiction story...NTA. period. I'm proud of OP for fully getting all of her bottled up pain fully out and said, that kind of stuff can eat you up.

[@WabbitHunter68]

Story 3. Some people just want to be first in everything so they feel superior to everyone else. My ex sister-in-law didn't want kids but was still upset and jealous when I had the first grandchild.

[@wmdkitty]

1: NTA. You cannot continually disturb your neighbors like this and not expect consequences -- OP should report this neighbor to management. The kid's disability does not exempt him (or his mother) from following building rules and not disturbing neighbors. 2: NTA. Yeah... no. Choices have consequences, let him enjoy the bed he's made. It's a bit over the top to give him an eviction notice at a baby shower, but damn if it wasn't deserved after what the little a-hole said to OP. 3: ESH. Stella sucks for being obsessed about having the first great-grand-baby, for throwing a fit over the nephew, and for making meeting said nephew all about her and her feelings. Older brother sucks for ducking out on his baby-mama, but if he's stepping up and taking responsibility now, that's a good thing. OP slightly sucks for the "bitter cow" comment, but was not wrong to put Stella in her place. 4: NTA. With that history... I can't blame OP for feeling the way she does. I think giving Kate a chance to _earn_ forgiveness would be the kind thing to do, but will not judge OP if she chooses not to even offer that. I'm skeptical that Kate ever changed, or even wants to, because this is a common manipulation tactic for abusers and addicts.

[@candiebarr6745]

Its been my experience that addicts don't change. Crap people with the addiction, crap people after the addiction, usually crap people before the addiction.

[@songohan3321]

Still trying to get used to Daylight Savings. Exactly what do we actually save by still doing this?

[@bubbles9287]

It’s pointless! And as you get older, it’s even tougher to adjust....let me just call myself old lol

[@yabe-kfptentacultist]

I'm in the UK so we have to wait until the 28th to change our clocks.

[@blackroseinbloom]

It helps farmers with crop seasons

[@SilverMaychan]

@@blackroseinbloom that is a fable.

[@blackroseinbloom]

@@SilverMaychan my uncles and aunts work the fields in Delano. That's what they told me

[@Koltonhogue]

Having a sibling on drugs is one the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with in my life

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. I hope the situation gets better for you and your sibling.

[@malcolmholder3149]

Story 1. NTA The mother is doing a very bad job of parenting her child, yes the child has special needs, however that does not allow the disturbance of others. Document, record and report to the building management/landlord.

[@jamestown8398]

Story #1 NTA. OP has the right to a quiet home, and he tried asking his neighbor politely to do something about this. Since she refuses to, OP has the legal and moral right to report her. Story #2 NTA. If one of your parents cheats on the other then having a relationship with the affair partner is always a betrayal of the victim. Even if you have a biological link to the affair-partner, choosing them is still a betrayal of the man who raised and loved you. Worse than that, the "son" made it clear through his words and actions that he only sees OP as a babysitter and a source of utility, not as someone he loves or appreciates. Given all of that, why the *fuck* would OP be under any moral obligation to continue to support someone who insists on hurting him? The story is not esh, OP does not suck, *all* the fault is with the "son". This reminds me of another reddit story (one in r/relationship advice, I think) where OP was asking how he could mend the rift between his father and sister after the sister chose to have her mother's affair-partner walk her down the isle at her wedding instead of the father. At least there nobody condemned the cheated-on man for disowning his traitor child. The only conclusion I can reach is that Reddit, like the traitor children in both these stories, values genetic-links more than love and memories. Story #3 ESH. I was going to vote NTA, but Mark makes a good point. OP could have told Stella she was acting out of line without going straight to that. If OP tried criticizing her politely first and only called her a bitter cow after Stella doubled down on the bitterness then it would have been NTA. Story #4 NTA. Forgiveness is always a gift, *never* an obligation. Moreover it's clear from the sister's words that she's only seeking forgiveness for out of selfishness, to get utility out of OP. She said "I don't want to lose my last family" instead of "I'm ashamed of who I was and what I did".

[@karendaniel620]

Story 2: I wish someone had asked for info, because I don't know if OP has ever talked to his oldest son about the issue. If not, then he's TA. If so, ESH. 20 year old is being extra about his bio father, but he's also a college student who's about to become a father. There's a lot going on here. But OP should have talked to him first. If he actually did, the shower was still an AH move. And if son was blindsided, then OP has clearly given him no warnings to his plans.

[@Tokuijin]

Yeah, I was wondering on that. There's a lot of missing info in that one.

[@ccmcgaming327]

He doesn't have to warn him he's grown but to have a kid having everything paid for fuck em the marine can pay for college and his pregnant girlfriend you want to be a pos to the person actually helping you then you deserve what you get

[@jessiejeanne9717]

I can't think of a culture where the 1st great grandchild is a thing.... can anyone else? I gotta say this before it's gone and too late for investors: a new company called "23 and maybe" with their own connected divorce law firm, therapy center (up to and including essential oil therapy for the Karens), a gym with nutrition and a general practitioner office. Think about it!!!!

[@charleshelm79]

Story 1: NTA, everyone deserves peace. Report the issue since the mother won't try to correct it. Maybe the landlord can come up with a solution to the issues. If not find an apartment building that has only one floor.

[@J_e_s_s]

Just got out of work and open KZbin to see this! Pumped. Beautiful timing.

[@gisellerios8037]

Story 2: son that man may be your father but he was not your daddy

[@boohooter23]

I love watching Marks videos while drawing and writing essays for school. Instead of learning to use my first drawing tablet I got for Christmas using white noise in the form of a fan or whale noises, it's a guy reading tales of people's experiences with assholery! It's much better than the tts voices too since I don't have to navigate to the tab whenever something doesn't translate well to the computer reading. Plus Mark is very wholesome with his gratitude and not just directly ripping everything off since he adds his two cents as well!! If you see this Mark, remember to take care of yourself because we're happy when you're happy and self-care is important for happiness!! You've totally earned it!

[@threeducks157]

The apartment switch works out for the op, but it doesn't for the landlord is not a big deal to switch units but he will be stuck with one unit with a bad rep for noise. Why is the op the ah when he is basically being told you raised me but you don't matter, and the whole "how will he know that he is hurting you don't feeling if you don't tell him?" Is abosolute bovine excrement(yes I stole that one) in my town there is a methadone clinic that I technically own since I built it , but state funds the upkeep. Going to keep it vague cause it's unique, because you have to sign a contract to receive treatment and enter voluntary imprisonment until completion of treatment enforced by the sheriff department, they are provided with food clothing, necessities, and room and boarding.

[@TheIronwil]

Bio-dad Blues: NTA, and I'll tell you why... OP's wife betrayed him in the worst possible way, and tricked him into raising another man's child. But even when he found out, he decided to continue being a father to this child, when many would not. Then, even with everything his dad is doing for him, all OP's "son" cares about is his bio-dad? Then he can go to him for help.

[@familyytowo7261]

I sprained my ankle really bad two weeks ago. Now I have an excuse to lay around and do nothing. I also get icecream.

[@maryvon8518]

What kind of ice cream?

[@familyytowo7261]

@@maryvon8518 cookie crumble its got oreos and chocolate chips

[@scoutgirl1991]

Story 1: NTA. Just because a child has special needs, doesn't mean that they can do whatever they want and get away with it. I have ADD, ADHD without hyperactivity and I totaly get it that sometimes learning a certain thing(s) can be difficult or take more time. But people with special needs can still learn things just like everyone else. The neighbor is a total AH, because she doesn't even try to teach her child any manners.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@AnotherLittleArtist]

As always, thank you

[@TNTMAN360]

Nice to see you again hope you're doing well scour you the comments and you may find my journal entry five of the much love curse

[@orionsoto6061]

Ok ok I will just put the gun down

[@TNTMAN360]

@@orionsoto6061 not until you scour the comments

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@orionsoto6061 What??!!

[@sarahkirchner6356]

He should have told his (Step-)son that he hurt him? WTF? The son isn't a toddler, he is an adult and a soon-to-be father. Does he need to be told that a knife hurts if he stabs someone with it?

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Last story: nope, NTA! Kate has reaped what she has sown...

[@eleanoraddy4683]

It's utterly revolting when people expect an inheritance 🤢gross

[@brothersgt.grauwolff6716]

Story #4, I can relate to OP as my younger brother also had drug & alcohol issues thankfully he hit rock bottom and realized he needed to change he sobered up with the help of a good woman 30yrs sober now with a wife family and well paying job it's sad some people still can't find their way out of that darkness but I pray every day that no matter who or were they are they get the help they need 😔

[@Tokuijin]

Story 1: NTA. Look, I understand the kid is disabled, however, the mother is really just mollycoddling her child. Op just wants their home quiet and their studying uninterrupted, no where in that is there some "discrimination" against the neighbor's kid. Op does have a right and reason to a quiet home, especially since they're renting it. On that note, if that's her reaction to Op just asking her to reign in her kid for an hour, I'm gonna guess that she's likely been evicted before over similar complaints. Story 2: ESH/Info. While Op is justified for how he feels and his stepson is a real piece of work, to serve an eviction notice during a baby shower is a pretty dickish move and he's also involving an innocent party in it, too. I'm also going with "Info", OP didn't say anything about how his relationship was with his Stepson after the divorce or before he contacted his Bio-Dad or, if between 10 and 18, after the divorce, that the Mom and Bio-Dad manipulated Stepson against him. Story 3: ESH but Stella more so. It's not that deep, really. Story 4: NTA. Forgiveness doesn't (rather, SHOULDN'T) mean you let that person back in your life, no, it can be as simple as cutting them from your life and moving on. Op's sister has demonstrated before that she'll changed (not for the long term, anyway), so Op doesn't have a reason to believe that she will.

[@DD-wd2ep]

Story 2: Nah, f#ck that. The son wants to act grown, disrespectful, and impregnate some girl (even though he has no means to live on his own like a man). Then he wants to treat his de facto dad - who is supporting him, his girlfriend, and unborn child - like garbage. Let him go live with his bio father if he's so great. Better yet, he is an adult, so he can go support himself and his own new family. The coddling has to end.

[@dinowolf359]

Mark you are too pure for this world

[@malcolmholder3149]

Story 2. This is on another similar site but got much less YTA's and ESH's. The boy is 20 not a child, for 10 years the Dad has known that he was not his child but continued to support him and did not want him to know his real relationship to him. It was the ex-wife who informed the boy of the bio-father, the boy has been in contact for 2 years and yet still expects Dad to finance his living and now his girlfriend and up coming baby but shows no respect. The t-shirt was not the only incident just the straw that broke the camels back. The A'holes here are number one the mother and number two the bio-dad. Let them take up the responsibility/financial burden. Remember folks that Dad has had no legal responsibility since the boy turned 18, he could have cut him off then but didn't and even accepted the pregnant girlfriend into his home. Where and what have the mother and bio-dad been doing for the last 2 years?

[@songohan3321]

What is Story 3? That whole story is just some crazy ass shit. A secret love child, fake names, first great grandchild, and cows.

[@toysruskid5074]

Reddit it bitter over the word cow, but to be honest, if you bemoan and complain for 3 days straight it starts to sound like mooing.

[@joeyl9037]

Love listenin' to your videos when Im suffering the consequences of unfamiliar foods. Distracts me from my livin' hell

[@PrincessJayJay17]

Story 1. Not the AH. I grew up with a sibling that had autism and would melt down and scream and beat the living daylights out of me. I feel bad for our neighbours back then and our houses had decent space between them. Wanting basic peace and quiet in your own home isnt unreasonable. I currently live next door to a couple who scream at eachother all the time multiple times a day and its awful sometimes (funny other times, we prefer to just find the humor instead of hating life) but we are moving. Its not unreasonable to want comfort and quiet in the place that is meant to be your safe haven. Its also not cool to pull the disability card because someone wants to feel comfortable inside their own home. Its not discrimination at all, situations like this sometimes require altered living conditions both for the child and the people around them so all can live comfortably.

[@SilentDecepticon]

1: Well this situation sucks. The mother doesn’t seem to be willing or able to quieten her child, and I wouldn’t want to possibly get them evicted during a pandemic. It’s not fair to OP but he could go see the owner/manager and ask if there’s an empty apartment within the same complex that he could move into. 2: If this guy doesn’t see OP as his father after raising him, why should he give him and his girlfriend a place to stay AND pay for his college? He giving the absentee biofather the ‘grandpa’ shirt was a pretty big slap in the face. I wouldn’t be used as an ATM either. He’s 20 years old, not 5. Let him figure his own shit out. 3: Wow. As if she’s going to get a flipping medal or parade for this. Has she really done so little that this is the big accomplishment of her life? Sad. I don’t know why she’s making such a huge deal about having the “first great-grandchild” when it’s her husband’s grandfather, not hers. 4: Kate had her second chance and she shit all over it. Why should OP believe that she is clean and is a changed person after what she did? It might be another trick to get close in order to rob them again.

[@DocKrazy]

Caing someone a bitter cow? I can imagine so many worse things to call someone something when they in fact are being a butter cow. If it walks like a duck, you know

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Story number 4 I would suggest finding some Alanon meetings. They can be really helpful when you have a family member who is addicted to drugs and alcohol in learning how to deal with them and keep yourself and your boundaries safe. As somebody who has been a part of Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous for 13 years, I can safely say that it doesn't sound like she is in the program or taking it very seriously or she may have understood why you couldn't just accept her apology right away. That combined with the fact that you say she still seems to be the same person and maybe even worse now.

[@bruuh0_0]

As someone in the same position as the first OP NTA Don't know if the kid has a problem and after 5 years I don't care The noisy is so shitty and he not only stomps but drops things and keeps dragging the chairs, STARTING AT 5 AM. Having a disability is not a fucking excuse, learn how to raise your kid

[@MamieBabi]

Ya know I just read something that said "it explains it, it doesnt excuse it." Definitely nta for the first story.

[@fuilli]

story 4: papers, please? NTA, if she was my sis I'll ask her if she has seen a proper, 100% vetted addiction psychologist about her issues, and show me the paperwork to prove it (with personal info removed, of course, I don't want a dox) if she can't prove it, OUT. *now.*

[@everdreamcosplay]

No need to make it up, Mark. Be well and safe, and take care!

[@elkevermeulen7343]

There were a lot of ESH for story 2, but I don't think OP is TA here. It's simple, don't bite the hand that feeds you when you're already an adult that should be able to provide for themselves and OP was helping them generously.

[@Tokuijin]

I voted ESH because Op mentioned some sort of agreement he had with Ex about keeping the Stepson from knowing about bio-dad and that he found it "unfortunate" that the Stepson did reach out to his bio-dad. Something like that is pretty suspicious and doesn't paint Op in a much better light.

[@JamesRT1291]

Story 3 sounds like a Italian American thing, some Italians believe in who are the next “head of the family” base on oldest of the next generation. By the way might have misspelled Italian

[@johannebrsted6495]

Wishing you and your Dad all the best.

[@lucycolson6162]

Mom of downs kid is a terrible parent. That kid may learn slowly but he can and needs to learn to behave. She's the one who is discriminatory, lazy and apparently uncaring. That poor kid won't have anyone to care about him at the rate she's going.

[@samworlds2213]

Another brilliant video again Mark!! Your videos make my day so much better. Sending hugs and well wishes

[@fcold9402]

1. NTA. The parents reaction shows there is little hope for the kid. Had she been apologetic and calm perhaps you could have come to an accommodation and she could get more help. Instead she is likely to cause the kid to scream more since mom is a screamer.

[@blifefamilyadventures6994]

Or she could have been battling the child for hours with no results and has severe carer burn out and her coming up was the camel that broke the camel's back.

[@Tokuijin]

@@blifefamilyadventures6994 Op mentions that the kid was like this before lockdown measures happened but Op wasn't home. Also the mother's reaction can be taken to mean that she was likely evicted before for similar complaints, so, yeah, there's more evidence of "IDGAF" and less caregiver burnout. Also, if the kid were abled, would you still have sympathy for the mother?

[@blifefamilyadventures6994]

@@Tokuijin an ongoing issue could lead to carer burn out. It is easy to say she should stop him but unless you have been in the trenches with a special needs kid that is so full on and could be stims on why he jumps and screams it is hard to fully grasp the magnitude of it. Of course this is all hypothetical no one knows how much effort the mother does or doesn't put in. You can't compare a special needs kids to a neurotypical kids because their brains are wired differently.

[@kittychaotic9450]

Mark dont apologize! I hope everything gets better 🙏

[@digit5465]

Take it easy Mark, I hope you, your dad, brothers and everyone is safe

[@bobbyjay205]

Hey Mark, Gang, All others Story1: I usually don't give this a solution, but call CPS. That is not a normal situation. Mom needs some help she isn't looking for. Story2: I get that the kid is having "the honeymoon phase" of his relationship with Bio-dad. But reality will kick in soon enough and he'll be sorry for treating his "real" dad that way. Kick him to the curb. What did he think the message was when both didn't get G-pa shirts. Giving him the eviction notice in place of the gift was tacky, but just as cruel as the shirts. Even if unintentional. Story3: People are judging the "bitter cow" way too harsh. Yes calling a woman a cow is sexist and associated with being overweight,but the phrase "bitter cow" means something else. Poor choice of phrase, but OP is right. So everyone calm down and "DON'T HAVE A COW" Stor4: The sister already got a second chance. Who the fuck strips a house of the copper pipes? I know it's done, but still.....POS

[@DragunKing]

As a fellow first great grandchild.. it basically means your special. It's like being the first born child but better you got your great grandparents on your side for everything thing. Mom and grandma can't touch you. 🤣🤣🤣

[@mimiandy1683]

Re: 4th story At least Kate didn't contact the OP and gave a sob story about a dying dog, who needs treatment that will cost $3,000.

[@mr.willie9578]

So this guy should continue help him and be okay with her stepson treating him like crap 💩

[@jesswagner7391]

I LOVE seeing this channel grow :)

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: Mark, you missed nothing. They wanted "kudos" for being the first parents of the grandkids. It's all super petty. The comments are all saying the brother is an asshole for his actions but it seems like they completely misinterpreted the situation. He was hiding from his family (BIG RED FLAG ABOUT THIS FAMILY BTW) and gave a fake name. He had no idea she'd get pregnant and the moment he found out, he's stepped up. I'm not sure what the issue is, it's not like he bounced knowing she was pregnant. Everyone sucks here except the brother.

[@wrenpeach6707]

As much as I love these videos, if you need a break please take one. We love you Mark, and we don't want you to get burnt out.

[@cyberspinosaur1145]

'Oo, she ay the first great grand grandbab anymore, time to put her back'

[@sandrabrogdon3784]

They still can say she's the first great-granddaughter and the other one is the first great-grandson

[@clairebear-96]

watching this as I get ready to head out to Ulta... my boyfriend just broke up with me today and this is perfect to take my mind off 💛 This plus retail therapy, maybe a little bit of wine and hair dye = best medicine 😂

[@FormCreator]

Hope your hair turns out great! Good luck! 💜

[@Droptheworldghost]

Thank you so much mark man I was worried again with a late post your National Treasure mark

[@shecoda4402]

STORY 1 Man and son. I would tell son how much his attitude is hurting OP. Stay with the eviction but keep the idea of paying for tuition for now. Let's see what happens when he gets slapped around by life for a while. He either will rise to the occasion which believe it or not would be the best outcome or he will ask to return at which point a man to man talk about raising a child that he knew wasn't his and treating said kid as his own warrants some huge respect. Either he thinks of you as a father figure or he doesn't and if he doesn't he is on his own - including tuition. At least you know where you stand. This kid is a brat and has no sense of gratitude.

[@locusxe1411]

NTA Story 3: I like how everyone calls Op an ahole for calling the cousin exactly what she is.

[@indianspartan76]

Story 3: she complained to mommy? Fuck that! OP NTA!

[@madcatlady]

it's always the in-law in these stories never the siblings

[@swiftstorm661]

Story 4: NTA, I haven't had to shut out toxic family members, but I have had to shut out toxic former friends. The kind that would be abusive, manipulative, and toxic. Only being friends when it is beneficial. They demanded multiple chances after the 'second chance' I gave and went to/through others to attempt to force me to give them more chances. So I do understand where op is. Op already gave their sister a second chance by being okay with her moving back and trusting her enough to not lock valuables away. The sister betrayed that trust majorly and as such has run out of chances to fix what she messed up. If she is improving herself good for her. She can do it without op in her life however. So yeah once again NTA, cut the sister out entirely cause she does not deserve the chance to use and abuse op again.

[@ichigokurosaki-ij6bk]

If its that bad, then report it. The land lord should have put them on the bottom floor. She doesnt get to throw herself on the cross everytime her kids gets out of hand. Call Cps. She clearly has chosen to deal with the situation in an unhealthy manner and might need a legal push in the right direction.

[@thomasquinn8886]

Story 2: the son is an ADULT. If he is old enough to get someone pregnant he is old enough to understand the consequences of his actions. Saying things like, “my real dad...” etc. while the man who raised him is housing him, his pregnant gf, and ENTIRELY paying for his college is incredibly narcissistic and hurtful. He deserves whatever outcome he gets. Again, an adult is someone who can take responsibility for their actions. If he isn’t yet responsible, he should NOT be having children.

[@stacysimpson9434]

Hey Mark remember to take care of yourself. You do you and we watch you. Hope your day is great.

[@gaxalee7392]

First story: NTA If you live in a condo or apartment building, your noisy kids bother everyone. It has nothing to do with the kid’s disability and everything to do with a kid screaming, stomping, and throwing things all of the time. Second story: NTA This man is being punished for not being related biologically. Anyone trying to say but if, but if, but this, a guy he’s raised from birth is trying to destroy the father-son relationship they built because he now knows his bio dad. It’s fine to want a relationship with your bio dad, but this guy is dissing on the guy that raised him and taking care of him and his pregnant girlfriend. Third story: ESH Op the least amount. The cousin because she’s being whiny and overbearing about the ‘first’ thing. The golden boy for lying to the baby momma. Fourth story: NTA You don’t ever have to forgive anyone who’s hurt you the way Kate hurt Op. Never, ever let someone tell you that you need to talk to/reconcile with someone else; they don’t have your experiences, pain, or trauma. No issue in this world excuses pushing issues on/hurting other people.

[@joshuaortega1852]

My stance on that story with the sister's NTA OP has no reason to believe her sister is any better than she was before. And judging from the update she only wanted to make up so she can pull another con or because she wanted money. But OP should forgive not forget. Forgiveness is not letting it go it's letting go of resentment for the forgiver not the forgiven. You don't let the person screw you over again but you take the step's to move on in your life. In this case telling the person that stole from you to stay away and possibly going to therapy to work through some of those past problems.

[@Mscrimsondragon]

As the mother of the first great-grandchild of the oldest grandchild in my husbands family myself, I wasnt aware there is some sort of award you get. Smh. CIL is making competitions out of the stupidest things and thats a HER problem. Your cousins son has nothing to do with CIL at all. Does she usually make everything about her?

[@SheenaReine]

I thought the last story was about my sister. 🙃 She’s stolen countless things from us over the years and now at nearly 38 she’s not better. She’ll never be better. I can’t allow her into my house or near my kids. NTA having family who are addicts (my dad died from alcohol overdose when he relapsed and went on a bender). You have to distance yourself and practice self preservation. I’m also disabled on a myriad of meds and she wouldn’t think twice before stealing my prescriptions. It sucks but that’s life. Haven’t spoken to her since last year.

[@hothotheat3000]

Report them. You have the right to a quiet living space. Special needs doesn’t mean special treatment in this case. The parents are enabling this bullshit.