My Boyfriend Suddenly Decided To Buy A House With Sister And Expects Me To Move In r/Relationships

[@ACAB.forcutie]

As someone who's been researching real estate for the last ten years........ OP made the worst mistake of her life selling that house.

[@autumn557]

She’s going to have life long regrets, she makes bad choices and can literally write down a DO NOT DO list but will still do.

[@ScooterBond1970]

I swear, as an Internet stranger, I died just a little bit when she admitted that.

[@Iflie]

She must have a gigantic case of low selfesteem or something to jump into this mess for a boyfriend who doesn't care one bit about her comfort as long as he can use her money.

[@lunaticbz3594]

Respectfully disagree now is a great time to sell a house in southern California and buy a much better house on the east coast.

[@atex6175]

She was definitely in a keep the house drop the bf situation. She'll regret this down the line

[@devegas4910]

Op listed all the reasons why she shouldn’t move in with him, asked people if she shouldn’t move in with him, and then moved in with him.

[@charles0322mrsdani]

🤦‍♀️

[@kimsvisualdiary]

I literally shouted “WHY did you sell your house you moron!!!!”

[@lindtplease1693]

@@kimsvisualdiary I thought exactly the same ! Hell no. At absolute most rent it out for a set period say 6 months, but don't sell. Even that would be too much for me given the circumstances the OP described. I hope it worked out for her but I can't see it doing so.

[@MrJpaynebb]

The overwhelming vast majority of advice was Do Not Sell Your House! She knew not to sell her house so what does OP do...sells her house. JFC if one thing reddit has made clear for anyone out there is to never sell their house, apartment, condo or home for a partner unless they are a spouse. Even then it's advised to rent it out whenever possible to make sure OP or any other writer has an asset that's in their name for financial security. All that and the boyfriend only owns 10% of the house.🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂😂

[@technicaldifficulties368]

I just wanna roll on the floor making a death rattle of "WHY?!?!" 🤦🤦🤷🙅

[@ComaLies225]

SHE SOLD HER HOME TO MOVE IN WITH W BF WHO HAS 10% OWNERSHIP!?!!!! No this can’t be real….

[@theincrediblehunk2668]

Op: *Ignores advice from redittors* Op after update: "Guys I really need advice" 😭 Reddit: 😐

[@JordanDragonAs]

Reddit after update: you chose your bed you can lay on it.

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

Go to the psychiatrist, there is something seriously wrong with you (my piece if advice).

[@reallyisay]

Exactly This

[@Kal_57]

I hope Reddit shat on her.

[@patricia1333]

First story- OP SEEMED semi-sane and even could predict all the inevitable problems. But hey, who cares about the red flags!! Sell my house and depend on the whims of bf’s sister and parents… NOT going to end well, Mark, you’re right.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Yeah that's why we will NEVER get any further updates because this is going to come right around and bite her in the butt and she won't want to admit to the entire world she was wrong. Literally if the entire world is telling you not to do something and you do it anyway, the consequences are all on you and no one else. I can see already, what's going to happen is they're going to want to get married but they're not going to be able to get married until he completely pays off his very small part of the house. and then once he's paid off his part of the house he won't be able to sell that without his sister's permission. And she's never going to want to sell so they'll be forced to live there or rent. He might as well own none of the house because he will never see that 10% again. OP made a HUGE mistake going from a homeowner to a renter again because she has no stake in the house. If they get break up she's just s*** out of luck. She's just going to be paying the mortgage for them with her rent and because of that they will never want her to move out or buy her own place again and he will never want to marry her because then he couldn't ask her for rent. This is a disaster and OP is an idiot.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

@@WhitneyDahlin it physically hurt me to hear how badly she fucked herself over. I'm into real estate and.. this was the worst mistake I've seen someone make on reddit, period.

[@GMAMEC]

I gasped when they mentioned the sale of the house. It was an insane decision.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

@@GMAMEC I said "oh no" out loud

[@samoanjoseph1457]

The thing that really got to me was the boyfriend's excuse to why he was pouring money into a house he only owned ten percent of: "Because I live here." And yet was entirely unwilling to stay in his girlfriend's house, despite only having to pay rent and living there. If he was that sure this was a good move then he should have proposed first to prove he was in it for the long haul. Though if OP had said yes I'm sure we all would have groaned.

[@britnicox3929]

The entire time I just kept saying “WHY TF DID YOU SELL YOUR HOUSE” the entire time during the update in story 1 over and over again. I’m so upset with that monumentally illogical decision. Do not. Sell your home. FOR YOUR BF. Unless it’s to get a house with ONLY YOU TWO ON THE DEED

[@Legion-xq8eo]

A boyfriend who already agreed to move in and have a renter kicked out and never even moved in so u know he’s unreliable. Then even if u do marry him now instead of 50/50 now it’s supposed to be 90/10? Where did that come from? She’s stupid for following this guys lead, he obviously doesn’t think things thru or he does and is planning for the future breakup and putting it in sisters name for that reason and then he can milk his gf out of money to put into their home. He prolly thought why pay rent when I could own but the exact same logic should apply to her as well.

[@babydoll8182]

@Britni Cox I soooo agree with you!!! I would never have put my house up on market. All for what 10% home ownership. BF family played him and he played her. I almost don’t feel bad for her train wreck. She saw all the flags and signs and still ignored them all.

[@amelianekomimi1936]

me too im so fucking pissed

[@maryforstall7211]

Oh honey! This man is a mama’s boy!! He will never be a life partner- he will use you up!! RUM! Run away!

[@traetrae11]

I would go further and say don’t purchase a house with a BF. He’s not your husband. They aren’t even engaged. He’s literally JUST a boyfriend. Definitely have both names on the deed. She should have kept her house.

[@kimberly6630]

that first story was like watching the character in a horror movie while they make all the wrong decisions that will lead to their demise

[@briansmaller7443]

She should have turned on the light and seen what was sneaking up on her. Like she had all the information but still did the stupid thing. Good analogy there @Kimberly

[@pugsabi]

That's exactly how I was feeling. Like watching someone move into a new house where the previous owners disappeared under mysterious circumstances and the paintings cry blood every night at 3 a.m. And the update was like she heard voices and scratching behind a locked door hidden behind a false wall in the basement. As she is breaking the last lock she is asking Reddit if she's making a mistake.

[@chs75]

@@pugsabi 😂🤣 Fr

[@shadewolfe1231]

Story 1 - OP was making my head hurt. Could literally feel her heart and head battling each other and she followed her emotions instead of common sense/logic 🤦‍♀️

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

This relationship is utterly doomed and OP is financially screwed.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Oh my i was screaming NO NO NO.....🤦

[@OZARKMOON1960]

@@juliearmfield2634 OH gosh! Thought I was only one screaming at the screen here!

[@briansmaller7443]

She is going to regret selling her place. Wrong move.

[@briansmaller7443]

@@absolutelyridiculous6743 You said it.

[@UntamedDragon02]

Story 2: Even vegan diets aren't truly cruelty free considering the amount of land and water needs for plants not to mention the CO2 from shipping. No diet is free from harm. She sounds both controlling and a desire to be 'holier than thou.'

[@katphish30]

She already didn't like cats, and she's retrofitted her ideology into a "reason."

[@ACAB.forcutie]

But actually.. I eat meat, and I have a dream to open an animal sanctuary and fund it with commercial pet food. I originally considered farming quail, rabbits, and fish (in aquaponics system). It would be a closed loop and nothing would go to waste, even the rabbit's fur would be sold. I have a philosophy that I won't ever make an employee do something I wouldn't do.. and I couldn't picture myself able to kill those animals. So I've somewhat switched the system, to focus on feeder insects (like silk worms, also sell the silk) and mycelium, far more sustainable and somewhat more ethical solution

[@ASweet-sq4hr]

Not to mention the human slavery that goes into farming your food. Unless you’re growing everything yourself there’s no such thing as cruelty free consumption.

[@Davtwan]

It’s not a difference of ideology. It’s a difference in morality. She doesn’t like animals dying, but she’s making an exception for the genocide of domesticated cats. SMH.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

Yup. I also love that she’s not just calling herself vegan, she’s calling herself cruelty free. She for sure sees everyone else as beneath her. Her diet seems more of a superiority complex than a genuine thing.

[@Mewse1203]

Stpry 1: bro...end this relationship. This just showed OP how incompatible they are financially. It also seems REALLY disrespectful to OP. She was in a good position and now they want her to essentially pay their mortgage in top of her own? She also completely ignored that he lived with his family his whole life. He has no idea how to live with anyone else. Edit after update: oh no...please no. OP made a terrible decision. She is seeing all these marinara flags and still doesn't realize it. Definitely needs to stop the train.

[@ForbiddenFish]

Absolutely. I kept saying "NOOOO!!!!" the whole time I read that story lol

[@Acidfunkish]

Story #1 & #2 both have the same resolution: just break up. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@audreynothepburn7663]

I’m stealing “marinara flags “

[@ginathecookie]

@@audreynothepburn7663 haha its from that story abiut this person thinking marianna means red in Italian or something and now people are using it instead of red as a joke 😁 Edit; the person was really insisting it despite the OP correcting them too.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

@@ginathecookie I’ve also seen someone refer to waving an Alfredo flag I haven’t yet seen people refer to pesto flags but that’s because I think most flags on Reddit are marinara

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

The second a girlfriend/boyfriend tells you to get rid of your pet, get rid of the boyfriend/girlfriend, or else you'll later discover Kitty or Rover missing one day and... well... I think we've seen/heard enough stories on Reddit/through Reddit story channels to know how well that ends.

[@xCitizenPMx]

I started out feelin sorry for the position the OP found herself in, but after she sold her home.... yeah sorry you get what you get after that. That whole situation sounded horrible from the get go and she somehow found a way to make her own position significantly worse. Ah well.

[@damien678]

STORY 2: oooh the gf is in for a _treat_ when she realises most herbivores also eat meat when the opportunity arises (they're called Opportunistic Carnivores). there are videos online that show horses, cows, and even deer eating other animals.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

1) Soon as she said she sold her house my heart dropped, that was a horrible mistake

[@shells500tutubo]

OP 1 is stunningly stupid. An actual HOUSE in southern California with a low interest 30 year mortgage, and she rents out two rooms! And she SELLS it to move into a money pit that she doesn't even own and will not have the privacy that comes with a formal landlord-tenant agreement. I have no words for the monumental stupidity, none.

[@MizTameRumors]

First story OP was ready to build a life with her partner, partner tied himself into a life with his sister? I can't believe she sold her house to live with her 9 month boyfriend and his family. .

[@gH-bo9kd]

She sold her house to live with a man she only knew for 9 months. The whole thing is a hot mess

[@SandlinStyles]

They were friends for ten years and dating for nine months. But yeah I agree with you; that was a horrible decision she made. It doesn’t make any sense for her to sell HER house that SHE owns and had put a bunch of money into to move into a house spontaneously bought by some dude that she’s only been romantically involved with for nine months. Who knows if they will even work out. She’s saying if it goes south she’ll just go rent another house, but she wouldn’t have to do that if she just kept her house. Wtf.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

OPs ex is nuts! Her saying all domestic cats need to be exterminated because they eat meat is insane. As a vegan, we cherish the life of animals, which is part of why we don't eat them. What she is advocating goes against everything I stand for to protect animals.

[@tabeechey]

This! Also, it is surreal to encounter a vegan or vegetarian who seems to dislike animals. My vegan and vegetarian friends are suckers for everything from horses to houseflies. As someone who finds jumping spiders and mantises adorable, I totally relate to them!

[@Whatsername4224]

Came here to say this. Thank you!

[@ynmonroe]

@@Whatsername4224 Same.

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

Also, animals both IN and OUTSIDE of nature eat meat. Plenty of animals are carnivores and herbivores. It’s not just cats. Dogs eat meat, birds eat meat, plenty of wild animals eat meat.

[@kateemma22]

It goes against everything anyone sane stands for.

[@photofreak56]

Oh God... I had to pause I'm at the part where she sold her home. why did she sell her house honey you need to run away from this dude.

[@dustyrose192]

I literally said "NO! No you didnt, baby why would you do this!?" outloud and scared my dog

[@photofreak56]

@@dustyrose192 my cat got scared that I was saying "Oh fuck No don't why?!"

[@A68061]

@@photofreak56 I had no word. Just shut off my phone for a solid min- just…damn 🤦‍♀️

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - Mark, I groaned at the same time you did - she sold her house? Like, WTF was going through her brain? Apparently nothing rational. She knew this idiot was not the smartest financial tool in the shed when all this started and now it is even worse. Why in the hell she sold her own home - with five years of equity - is beyond me. NEVER, ladies, never ever give up your independence and your own home for some short-term relationship that has no clear long-term plan. Feel bad for OP, but bet we see an update about a break-up and her trying to find some place new to purchase or rent - with reduced funds because this idiot - or his family - were able to convince her to sink big $$ into this house that only the sister really owns!

[@ricaivory6571]

Man, story 1 just reminded me that people will give up EVERYTHING just to not be alone smh. I'm married and wouldn't give up a house in just my name ESPECIALLY if my husband had NOWHERE to go in his own name. I be damned if I'm moving into his sister house, bcuz that's exactly what it is.

[@MelissaDawes]

On both stories: I have never understood how many glaring red flags people will rationalize because they are tied up in romantic emotions. Both OPs sound like they have book smarts, but once “love” is involved, they make irrational decisions. Fortunately OP2 made the better choice in the end.

[@dianeessex300]

That's because people have two brains, and we typically can't engage both of them at once.

[@evelynberrios8164]

Mittens is beautiful, loyal and loving. Most importantly she is family. I’m glad you are equally as loyal and caring owner. If someone were to ask me to get rid of Athena, he would get the boot! I have a pair of pointy cowboy boots 👢.

[@babydoll8182]

Exactly!!! I love my fur baby. And I have literally ended relationships over my fur babies.

[@tashas4241]

Mittens is a beautiful cat! OP made the right choice - keep the cat, rehome the girlfriend.

[@marahbaker8615]

Me reading the title: "That is an incredibly stupid idea" Me after hearing the story "Oh hell no. Absolutely not."

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Then you hear the update 🤡🤡

[@dianeessex300]

Story 2) As an animal lover, I knew it wouldn't end well for gf. I do find it alarming that there's a whole group of people advocating for "the extinction" of an entire species, under the guise of 'cruelty free'.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 why is this even a question?? Why would you voluntarily move into a house with your bf and his family when you have other options. That's for when you're homeless.

[@angie3609]

8:29 I deeply felt Mark's "Heeughhh..." there...

[@evamoreau8011]

Story 1 : THIS has to be a troll. It has to be! I can't imagine such person exists with such level of stupidity! If that not the case then I have no sympathy for OP. ESPECIALLY when she deliberately ignores the advice (good advice at that) given to her and doing what is probably the dumbest mistake I've seen since Reddit. I can be remorseful but not to second class fools.

[@ginathecookie]

i can those rose tinted glasses can fog a lot.

[@luvondarox]

I'm at the end of the video (Mittens is freaking adorable) and I just... cannot get over Impulsive House OP. Like, in one breath she boasts about how good she is at long-term thinking, but in the next reveals she's made the worst, most impulsive decision possible purely out of emotion and peer pressure. That lovestruck pup didn't settle for a high wire act, she straight up rammed herself into the cannon before scoping out the circus or its tent! It is exactly this kind of miscommunication, refusal to compromise, and rash decision-making that leads to resentment later on. How OP sat down, wrote the post, proofread it, posted and read comments but _still_ missed the forest for the red oak trees, just blows my mind. I just... can't fathom that level of... what, desperation? Infatuation? Gullibility?

[@joeschmo622]

Aww, man, The Opie really dug her own grave, didn't she? Whether 90/10 or 50/50, they'd be the *owners* and she'd always be a *tenant* and thus always "less than". Their way, 100% of the time, and "If you don't like it, you can leave". She dumb. "It's your cats, or me. You decide." Bye, Felicia. 😺💯😺

[@dracawyn]

Story 2: ngl I'd feed my cat human flesh if it was ethically sourced and nutritionally viable.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Oh no, it has the taste of human flesh!

[@yggdrasil1969]

Every cat owner knows their cats would eat them in a heartbeat if they dropped dead and stopped feeding them. Yet we’re still their willing thralls. 😁

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@yggdrasil1969 technically a dog would to, only if someone doesn’t find their owner in a long time and they are starving.

[@airaz1235]

Story 2: the only time "but fammmiillly" is appropriate.

[@ShaunCushley97]

Story 2- Firstly, what a BEAUTIFUL cat. Absolutely adorable. Secondly, how DARE she say that OP should get rid of a pet he clearly loves and that they should all be killed?! How can you advocate for the extinction of effectively an entire species (especially one that cute) and still call yourself an animal lover? Madness.

[@RPGPaenda]

i’m so upset on the first op’s behalf… she shouldn’t have sold HER house…. especially now that we know he only owns (or will own) 10% of that house; if the siblings get into an argument of some kind, the sister will have majority rule on this sort of thing. i think op really screwed up here 😭

[@videofan1010]

She really did do something dumb - sorry.

[@patricia1333]

It definitely makes her question her sanity. Essentially he’s only bought an unregulated timeshare. If you owned a timeshare, why would you renovate the entire house with your own money instead of splitting it evenly? They’re both going to wind up kicked out and homeless - and OP’s claim that she sold it to get out from paying her father for the mortgage was the weakest excuse I’d ever heard. I’m positive her dad is livid over her life’s choices… and I am with him.

[@RPGPaenda]

@@patricia1333 this has the potential of being one of those “lessons learned the hard way”…. but she was, what, 30 with a house in SoCal? the cost of living in california is insane enough, but she had her OWN house… she’s probably not going to get another one on her own until her mid to late 30s if things go down terribly with the boyfriend…

[@patricia1333]

@@RPGPaenda I was going to say she won’t get her own house until she’s in her 40’s, but I might have misjudged the current market. Has it softened up some? Haven’t been to SoCal since Jan 2020, the prices were eye watering then. And if her Dad co-signed on the mortgage or took it out so she’d get an advantageous rate, most of that money will go back to him so she might not even have a down payment now.

[@RPGPaenda]

@@patricia1333 i was just assuming that, if op was able to buy one already in the first place, she might have a lucrative job, or even just a decent one. with her dad’s help, that makes it easier. i bet he’ll be hesitant in the future to help with the mortgage or down payment unless she learned/s a lesson from this…

[@Badassoldwoman]

Red flag1 - different financial goals Red flag 2- he doesn't listen to her concerns or consider her in decision making Red Flag 3- she's not comfortable with the lack of family boundaries Sounds great. Sell your house and go all in. #facepalm

[@luvondarox]

Oh, that first story drove me nuts. Like, Holy crap, OP. What the actual heck did you think was going to happen??

[@janetvargas9520]

The house buying story: Dump the boyfriend and keep your own house! Disaster situation coming like a freight train in a brick wall.

[@Jen321able]

First story: I'm sorry but all I could think by the end was "what an idiot." She was already concerned and knew she was doing well for herself, even had tenants. Why sell your house? What was to be gained from that? Now when they break up she won't even have her own home to go back to.

[@catte.]

I've never once, in all my time on Reddit, seen a story where someone asked someone else to rehome a treasured pet, end well.

[@clairebear-96]

Story 2 - i’m a vegetarian and OP is NTA at all, gf is completely unreasonable and taking her vegan stance way too far imo

[@shhd2105]

She's not very smart, why would she sell her house, the house will be there for you when you don't have the boyfriend. What's the point of asking for internet advice when you're not going to listen anyway. The man only owns 10% of the house and you jumped right in. I'm so mad at her and I dont even know her!

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

Story 1: marks groan summarized my feelings. This story tells me that not only is love blind it’s also financially irresponsible Story 2: saw the cute cat am now convinced that the ex has no heart or soul

[@amelianekomimi1936]

story 1 update : NO NO NO! KEEP THE HOME, SELL THE BOYFRIEND!

[@Daug555]

S1: Don’t do it! …proceeds to do it 🤦🏾‍♀️ “The lack of communication from him and constantly changing terms…” GIRL! WTF?!🤦🏾‍♀️!

[@mbyerly9680]

Mark said, "Oh dear," when OP sold her home, and I said "Oh, sh*t" when he was right.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - OP did the perfect right thing. That ex was crazy. I'd have felt compelled to ask her where her: clothing, shoes, car, home furnishings and kitchen items came from; if not American makers with at least decent-paid labor, then she is contributing to slave labor which is actual human beings forced to work for hardly any wage and a bowl or two of food a day. That is by far worse for the betterment of the entire world than a pet cat eating good food from an ethical company.

[@AstridCrash]

That is an adorable cat! I'm a dog person but I wouldn't mind having a kitty that adorable!

[@SailorMya]

That house is going to blow that family apart... The only way this would be okay at all is if the parents are going to leave their house solely to him in their will and even then you have to wait for them to DIE! They are close now but what happens when BF realizes how much he was screwed over or when they try to move and she only offers them the 10% he owns and not the thousands of dollars he spent on HER house...That rift will just get bigger once the parents choose one over the other and that will not end well for any of them... Don't have to be clairvoyant to see where this is heading...

[@michellecaudle9413]

I’m glad the one OP chose to keep his cat, they are a life long commitment.

[@Lestaticate]

First Story: **Repeatedly smacks head against wall** NO. NO. NO. NO. NO!!!!

[@fantasticmrfox9291]

Lol, mittens got an out loud maaaooohh!!! That is one damn cute cat! That ex though, holy moly

[@amandaarcher7919]

The first OP is that friend who asks for advice but already makeup their mind before asking a d always chooses wrong then come crying when everything blows up in their face

[@thebookofgenises]

the first story feels like we are missing information. why did she need to move in right away? why not wait til everything with the BF's house was settled then talk about moving? i said "that was stupid" out loud after hearing she SOLD her house. imagine doing that for a man youve been dating for less than a year.

[@nightmare_jeanie]

Why is owning a cat controversial for vegans but owning a dog is okay?... im so confused because honestly I've never heard of this but its absolutely ridiculous.

[@VSorceress]

She sold a home where the mortgage was less than 3% mortgage rate all for a dude that brought a crappy house with his sister?? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯👀🤦🏾‍♀️

[@-notmycat]

I am floored by Op from the first story. She sounds pretty reasonable and smart. I can't understand why she sold the house, especially after listing all her worries and occurring problems.

[@aileencastaneda3724]

Once OP said she sold her home I couldn’t listen to it anymore

[@mpmansell]

Story 2. Q: 'would you be ok with that being human flesh?'. A:'Are you offering?'

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: You did what? Do you know how many people would kill to own a house in this market (raises hand)? Red flag #1: Your bf is *thirty,* and still lived at home with his Mommy. Red flag #2: He decided, without you, that he and his sister (who also still lived at home with Mommy?) are going to buy a house together and you are "welcome" to come with...for a hefty rent. Question: (and red flag #3) Why are you paying towards an equity you have zero ownership (and he has very little ownership) in? Why are you paying "50/50" when the sister has the bigger chunk of ownership? Bigger slice of the pie = she needs to be paying a bigger portion, because IF they sell, she gets the bigger cut. Red flag #4: When you ask, they can't explain clearly how things will work and play out in the future. A house is not something you jump in with both feet and hope everything works out; you need a detailed plan of all possible scenarios. Especially with a house owned and paid for by multiple people. They also are (purposely, IMO) unclear as to why sister is getting an "early inheritance," as well as when/if your bf is going to be receiving one (or if he already has), which is relevant knowledge so you can accurately calculate how much you should have to pay. Red flag#5: His family being there *all the time*/ him needing to live so close to his family. Cut the apron strings already, man. Enjoying your family is one thing; enmeshment is the other. How are you going to raise children? Because I'm betting he'll let his family butt in with unsolicited opinions. You should NOT have sold your house for this man-child. You should have let him move in with his family on his own, and waited to see what happened in your relationship (as well as if he was even able to pay his portion of the rent without relying on you). Red flag numbers 1 and 2 would have been enough for me to break up with him...and I'm afraid that's where you're heading, now minus your house.

[@mindyschocolate]

I can’t understand how these women sell their property to move in with their short term boyfriends, especially those who haven’t cut the umbilical. Also, he only owns 10%? He’s either a liar or he’s incompetent and a welcome mat for his parents and sister. S2: keep the cat, dump the whacko.

[@raleighransom4561]

story 2: there very much are stories where people have gotten rid of their pets because a partner demanded it (I think usually these are told by the demander rather than the demandee) and it 100% only builds resentment and in a way (in my opinion) it irrevocably changes the relationship dynamic from there because how couldn't it? I'm very glad that wasn't the way this one went--there are, I think, very legitimate (and very sad) reasons for pets to be rehomed, but "my girlfriend of 7 months told me I had to because she said so" is not one of them.

[@andrewalexander9492]

" ... with solid communication skills " All evidence to the contrary.

[@Kal_57]

Story 1 : How could she be so stupid... I don't even see their relationship last long, so she will probably end up taking a small appartment in her hurry to move away (because when they break up, living with her ex and his entire family will be hell). She had her own house...

[@redconvoy]

The first one, I would not have sold my house. I would tell him if you expect us to be together, we are not living with your sister and having your parents there all of the time. I own a house. Can't we just live here until we start a family?

[@kensosaramos]

Story 2: Your pet is the only exception to the argument (fallacy) "But Family..."

[@Resilient_Sage88]

If you want a vegan friendly pet, get a rabbit or a Guinea Pig. Do not force Cats and dogs to eat Vegan food. It's not good for them. I don't buy the "The Vet says it's okay" angle either.

[@ajzephyros7454]

It's more than not good for them, it can be fatal. You're literally starving your pet to death while feeding them as their bodies can't process vegan stuff

[@katphish30]

Dogs are closer to omnivores and can be vegetarians with the correct diet, but cats are obligate carnivores and that would be very, very bad for them.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

@@katphish30 True, but I don't think they'd be getting enough nutrition without the meat. Humans can supplement Dietary requirements alot more easily too so I think it's unfair to hold creatures of nature to the same standard of Morality as human beings.

[@katphish30]

@@Resilient_Sage88 I said it's possible, not that anyone should do it.

[@ASweet-sq4hr]

Cats literally go blind without the taurine in meat

[@Damaaskrose]

Story 2 - Having been with a controlling partner, thank goodness he broke up with his. Mittens for the win. *woohoo*

[@anitacharron9153]

Story 2 DO NOT GET RID OF YOUR PET. She knew you had a cat B4:you got together my Dog is a part of my family I would not get rid of him the same as I would not get rid of my husband or kids. I don't think it has much to do with the cat as much as it is a control thing control what you ate and cook no controls where you live now going to control your pet

[@itazuranakisu]

Wtf is OP so foolish. Not even naive. Just foolish. They literally lay out all the red flags and issues but is so blinded and desperate by “love”. They will have no one to blame when this all goes up in flames. I really hope no kids are involved by then because the lack of brain cells going into this is very concerning. I’m just so annoyed. This is going to be an expensive lesson on why you don’t ignore red flags just to keep someone. He has showed he doesn’t respect her and was willing to put her in a financial bind to get what he wants. This is an OP that was so desperate for a man it’s alarming and almost sad.

[@clarrie93]

I'm packing right now so I'm just listening while not looking at the screen. But the moment pet tax was brought, I immediately went to my phone because you are right mark. Pet tax is ALWAYS appreciated

[@gigga143]

OP 1 has lost her mind. she's selling her home and giving away her great interest rate, her personal space and autonomy, to go live in his sister's house and basically be a guest in his family's home for a 9 month relationship. this is insane. if this was my best friend i'd shake her and tell her to snap out of it. she spoke on how they supposedly have good communication but he didn't communicate with her at all on this deal and is only going to own 10% after taking out a loan to help pay for it? OP is making a HUGE mistake.

[@paden1865able]

If I already am on the hook paying for a house, I am gonna live in it. Forget about jumping into a place my theoretical boyfriend is buying with his sibling, I'm staying in the nest I already have because I don't want to be visited constantly by someone else's family. Yeah, I tend to be a hermit with social skills...

[@somethingelse4204]

The first post just reminds me that your amgdayla gets turned off when you're falling in love, and things that should show up as red flags suddenly don't seem as alarming in the face of staying with this person who is supplying the "in love" feeling. I'm so sorry for OP. There's no way this is going to end well. She's going to learn a costly lesson. It's especially sad because her boyfriend clearly does not care about her as much as she cares about him.

[@sheewolf252]

I am Vegan 27 yrs and married a meat-eating man and have 2 dogs and 3 cats. Going Vegan was My choice not my husbands or dogs and cats... Over my dead body would I get rid of my Fur Babies...

[@pattyslater514]

I am flabergasted by OP and her decisions in the first story. I mean, she saw each and every out of control, gasoline soaked, flaming, ginormous red flag for what it was - calling out BF each time. Not to mention(if I heard that correctly), that her bf moved to his 10% ownership of a money pit without even having a single conversation with regards to his intentions leading up to the day his sis and he took possession. Like, WT actual F people!!! Yet, even though her intuition was spot on, she chose to ignore it by agreeing to move in.... but why in the H E double sticks did she decide to sell her friggin' house!?????! You know, a place for her to move back to because that little voice inside of her already knew this relationship wasn't going to workout in this new scenario. I guess this just proves the point that common sense is not all that common. Good grief... 🤦‍♀️

[@AndyyWithAY]

Cats are carnivores. Even if OP did rehome Mittens the cat will still be a carnivore. This whole thing is stupid.

[@thegamingcomrades1669]

And forcing a animal that's a carnivore to a vegan diet is psychotic abuse

[@notconvincedgranny6573]

Mittens is too cute - most likely cuter than the girlfriend, and she was jealous.

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S1: OP sound sane and rational, seems to see all the potential problems and realizes she has here own space if this goes south. Reddit: Gives her a ton of advice that goes along with what she is saying. Update: Ignores her own advice, Reddit's advice and a dozen red flags to make one extremely stupid choice that is definitely going to bite her in the ass :Face Palm: S2: Keep the cat, get rid of the girlfriend. Glad he made the right choice.

[@BitterWillow]

I literally screamed when story1 OP said they sold. NONONONO

[@JadedJada]

So like, the vegan girlfriend...does she hate all animals that eat other animals? Does her passion for nature only extend to herbivores?? This is the logic of a child, it truly makes no sense.

[@NotQuiteUseful]

S1: I was fully expecting a "and this is how we broke up" update. Boy, did I get that wrong.

[@ailinfergan]

Story 1: Stupid lady makes stupid choice. Film at 11.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

2) "Cruelty free values", plants are living things and I think will strongly disagree with that comment. The point is we should respect the food we put into our bodies, we should respect the plants and animals we consume. People who think that to drink milk is hurting a cow need to go get properly educated. It's a scary world we live in that people are so poorly educated and think owning animals is being cruel, no abusing animals is cruel, actually we're saving many animals by owning and caring for them

[@ASweet-sq4hr]

And the amount of human slavery and underpaid migrant labor that goes into farming foo. Or is it only “cruel” if it’s animals

[@kmaguire7161]

OP in story one is out of her mind. I hope she at least made some money off the sale of her house.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

I don't even think the girlfriend believes what she said about cats. I think she simply doesn't like them and couldn't just admit that outright. So she came up with a "reason" to change OP's behavior to suit her desires. Again. No great loss there in my book. I feel like that's almost always a test, to see if you'll pick them over a pet.

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

Yes, and of course the answer is...never, never, never, never, never, never pick a person over a pet. Never. Never. Never. Oh, did I mention? Never. Never.

[@jessiejeanne9717]

First story: she seemed to list all the reasons why this is a very bad idea just to end up saying she sold her house and is joining this circus. If I could meet OP in person, I'd grab her by the shoulders and shake her while screaming *"what the actual fuck are you thinking?".* ETA: they were friends for 10 years, but waits to get with OP to joined the aforementioned circus.... I'm sorry, but that is greatly sus!

[@kristinab3838]

Story 1: Selling her house was very stupid. Regards to the relationship with the BF doesn't sound like they had good communicating skills in regards the the living situation and he seems to be makin unilateral decisions without her. Red Flag. If I had to live with the whole family I wouldn't pay $1100 dollars to rent a bedroom I shared. Financially: If this is California and she sold her house in 2020-2022, she would have gotten profit from that, but because she is not buying another home... she will have to pay alot in capital gains tax. Plus when this situation goes south she'll have to pay rent that's probably more than what she had to pay for her mortgage.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: of all possible decisions, OP made almost the worst one. Rather staying in her house and getting another roommate (and moving in again with her boyfriend when/if they get married), or renting out her house, she sold it and is moving into a money pit with a family circus. She hates it, and she isn't even there yet! No doubt boyfriend will start asking her for extra money, to fix this and that. At minimum, they should split the 10 percent equity in the house, so OP has something.

[@Mewse1203]

Be kind, be safe and take care of yourself. Have a great day

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8 much love 🤗🤗💜💜

[@tishjanuary7379]

1) ugh. That update was so disappointing. As far as I know the housing market in CA is a nightmare. I’m currently in AZ & it’s pretty crazy here I can’t even imagine CA. The fact that OP sold a home that supposedly had a good stable mortgage was just so frustrating.

[@murielross9288]

Already charging her rent, next help with the repairs as you live here. STOP. Don't sell your home in your name as it's nowhere else. Don't move in with them. From homeownership to 0% ownership. Mittens is beautiful!!

[@chrismichaels462]

Both Mittens and Poppy are cute

[@MisterNightfish]

If OP in story 1 stays with this situation she is insane. She sees all the red flags and just does not want to believe. Well, hard to feel sorry for her then, to be honest.

[@oldgreggsmadmemes4431]

Story one: dear FUCKING god, why, Why, WHY

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 - A vegan who thinks it is acceptable to vilify pets and demand a pet owner get rid of their animal is not cruelty-free, they are just dumping all their cruelty onto innocent animals who cannot understand why their family/pack would abandon them. I am not ashamed to say I love pets and wish I could have a cat (or three), and will gladly say anti-pet vegans are huge, cruel AHs.

[@Ambidexter143]

Story 2: It's people like GF that give vegans a bad name. Personally I think she's trying to control OP, first by having him become a strict vegan and now by having him get rid of a beloved pet. I don't see this relationship going well.

[@helar2574]

Story 1: I think it must be rule somewhere, IF YOR'RE NOT HUSBAND/WIFE DONT GET INVOLVE IN THEIR FAMILY FINANCE/HOUSE SITUATIONS!

[@Azulakayes]

Story 1:OP, a 9 month relationship isn't enough time to sell your house!!!!! OMG! What's wrong with OP? OMG! I have no advise. I can never sell an asset for a relationship. Story 2: Some vegans forget that some animals are carnivores to survive and there is no morality in it. It is nature. Humans are also supposed to eat meat,seeds, veges, we are omnivores. If someone decides to be vegan, that's a choice, not our nature and they need lots of supplements to survive. I am listening to this while eating some steak and eggs and I won't judge bunnies for eating vegetables/grass. I don't hate people who keep bunnies as pets because of what they eat. Its only logical.

[@evarodriguez4319]

Story 1, if you can, stop the sale of your home.

[@katyagrad3704]

Some women are just too desperate for a relationship, ignoring red flags, just so they can tell friends and family they have a partner.