I Was Offered A Promotion In Another State & I'm Unsure if I Want My Husband With Me r/Relationships

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: The only thing I'd have slid under that door was divorce papers.

[@aceanarchy5554]

Story 1: He shut her out for a week because she didn't initiate sex right that second when he demanded she do so. He knew of her past sexual abuse, he knew she didn't feel comfortable with it, yet he got pissed off when she wasn't immediately ready to do what he wanted her to do at that moment. Yeah, fuck no, girl run.

[@philwill0123]

This wasn't a first date scenario. This is 6 years of OP thinking she's dealing with this issue and not really dealing with it. It's also 6 years of him smoothing over an obvious issue.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

​@@philwill0123 She is dealing with this issue she us alive she has a sex life that's more than can be said for many SA victim. She went to therapy when she could afford it she has made progress with other sex related issues just because she is not 100% cured dosent mean she isn't trying. Just because he has understanding like a good partner should dosent entitle him to be abusive now. He held her down during an intimate moment and repeatedly made demands he knows she us not comfortable with till she was crying and upset that is abuse not no mention the silent treatment afterwards.

[@anntonigardner1510]

I can kind of see where there is an issue though. She’s an SA survivor and he’s asking her to be clear with what she wants. Maybe it makes him feel sick not knowing if he’s giving her what she wants and it’s been a building unease for 6 years.

[@Cheri8795]

​@@anntonigardner1510If she had done nothing to help herself and more importantly if he hadn't lied every time during the six years that she asked him about his feelings and explained that she found him attractive and enjoyed their sex life and he'd instead been truthful and explained that it was really getting to him then I could see him feeling hurt or even a little frustrated. However he not only knows she went for help and he knows she cared enough to ask him and reassure him many times. Plus he knows that she has gotten to where she is despite having her traumatic background. His behavior was disgusting! A lot of people need to feel safe, cared for, and have trust in their partner in order to be intimate even without the background OP has. I would bet that a therapist would say that even if she'd been making progress in that area, his actions would put her all the way back to the start at least. I say at least because now she has to get over her distrust of him before she could even possibly get back to square one. I feel so bad for her. I hate that she went through that and that she lost her best friend. I hope she has other people that she can depend on. I really don't know if she should stay. Like other commenters, I wonder how he acts about other disagreements. I also wonder if he is always controlling and manipulative to get his way. I wish her the best. I hope she posts an update in the future so we can hear if she is happy.

[@keplersdream901]

@@philwill0123 Typical male behavior -- blame the female when HE is bad in bed. Most men are, hence why hetero women are bailing.

[@Rjeda30]

A man who claims to love his wife, acting anything close to a fool with her when it comes to issues about sex and intimacy, while knowing that she is a SA survivor is beyond disgusting. Any love I had for this man would’ve left me while he left her crying and begging outside the door job offer or no job offer.

[@paperkay]

The best part was the lying. "I knew it would upset you". 🤣

[@xirochamber5863]

the job of a spouse is to care for your partner when they need it. This is no man.

[@marissabryan3521]

Just because she was sa doesn’t mean her partner should have feel unwanted or undesirable

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Why if a woman refuses to speak to her husband for a week it's justified and good because he's been bad...even if he hasn't. BUT if a man does the same thing it's abusive? The silent treatment us emotionally abusive...period. The end. But it's good when women do it and grounds for divorce if a man does it?

[@chlyri]

​@@marissabryan3521no, but he needs to be more understanding and not just shut her out.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP's apology in Story 1 is telling. I thought they'd both messed up not communicating properly, but when you gave the extra deets it was clear she continually communicated and he dropped the ball. This relationship only happens on his terms. She is the wronged party, HE should have apologized to her.

[@dougmartin2007]

That jumped out at me too. All of his responses are about how he lied to "protect her" or he didn't "want to stress her out" are him saying his behavior is her fault. It is the same with his locking himself away as punishment for her issue. She really needs to look at why she thought it was okay to be treated that way.

[@knightraven7044]

Hubby may have a porn addiction where women spread their legs with only a look 🤔

[@josemadera3138]

I disagree she says that she's making progress but it's been years since she's literally made no progress so she's really not doing anything just saying that she can That's not making progress she hasn't gotten truck therapist she hasn't seen a sex counselor she makes zero effort so yeah as a man or a woman when your partner does not want you does not physically tell you they want you then you don't feel wanted after a while sex becomes up being that oh well she's just here because she has to do it not because she wants to do it So yeah it's very much a turnoff it's her own fault I can see it way after 6 years of the same thing he finally just shut down and said fuck it

[@witheredrose357]

@@josemadera3138 1) please use periods and commas. 2) he didnt tell her it was a problem. 3)he knew his wife was SA'd at some point in her life, and from the post, made no effort to try and help her. instead, he punishes her for her trauma response. if it was this bad for him he should have said something, not punish her for it.

[@philwill0123]

​@@witheredrose357tbh, she might not see it as a problem if they are having regular sex. Problem is, if he's always initiating sex, it then looks and feels like he's constantly begging or demanding sex.

[@meloelebi1996]

"Don't reject him, just keep spraying him with the hose." -Good Reddit Advice for Passerby 101

[@GBunnyG]

Story 3 is what life long stories are made of. I want to hear from this kid in 10 years.

[@robertx8020]

He will be an Olympic swimmer or a fire-fighter lol

[@KyrieChii]

Agreed, I just hope that the situation in the comment toward the end warning OP about being careful( in case another neighbor/his parents take their interactions the wrong way & attribute less wholesome intent behind it) doesn't come to pass. The world is such a screwed up place that unfortunately more often than not the intent _isn't_ wholesome. (Not that I think OP is being a creep, of course).

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

I was wondering how the story was gonna go. Maybe a karen mom would get mad or something. But nope. 😂Just a weird but wholesome story.

[@Iflie]

Yeah it's like an old movie too. A neglected kid was rude and meets a gruff man who's punishments turn into a friendship and a mentor role that sets the kid up for succes. Young boys are sometimes especially in need of boundaries and authority figures. kid is taking any attention as good attention. Also troubled kids sometimes do not trust "nice". I hope he opens up soon.

[@dawnkerfoot1731]

So funny! 😂

[@GapingGorble]

Story 1 Update: So he passed up multiple opportunities to be honest about his feelings and try to find some middle ground because "it would hurt her feelings" but he was fine with giving her an out of nowhere ultimatum and then stonewalling her for days while she literally cried and begged for forgiveness??? The absolute hypocrisy of him being upset at her when she was constantly upfront about her feelings and he never was.

[@RJLiams]

It's almost like men are conditioned at birth to keep their emotions bottled up. To make sure not to bring it up to others because it's burdensome. Usually resulting in what normally happens when something bottled up has too much pressure. But hey I guess this very well known issue in society just doesn't exist here.

[@owenfautley]

Then blame society for socially forcing men to bottle up and not show any feelings I.e to man up.

[@Justaperson354]

@@owenfautley that’s the society that men created for themselves. I’ve only ever been told to man up by men. The women that do say that shit are the ones that learned from their husbands/fathers. That’s such a excuse too when she was literally begging him to be honest. Give me an f’ing break, that’s bs and you know it

[@ten5h1]

Not only begging forgiveness, but she was dealing with the loss of a friend and he left her alone to do that. I hope they split. She doesn’t deserve this abusing jerk.

[@colleens1107]

The silent treatment is abuse and what instigated it? She has a hang up over initiating sex. And that she is blaming herself and begging him forgiveness broke my heart. That SHE thinks she’s the AH and wronged HIM made my blood boil.

[@colleens1107]

God I hope she dumps this emotionally abusive loser

[@ozbelltemp]

So not talking is abuse and I assume, since you freely threw the abuse word out, that you would consider talking abuse. I feel bad for any partner you have and the accusations you will throw at them

[@teritt]

@@ozbelltemp Silent treatment is actually an abuse tactic as outline by psychology. There’s a different between someone saying “I’m not talking to you until you can do this” (which can still be wrong in some cases but less often) And someone up and leaving and refusing to communicate at all despite their partner _sobbing at the door for weeks_

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@ozbelltemp Nice strawman. 🙄🙄🙄 Just admit you know nothing and move on. You’re probably triggered because you give the silent treatment.

[@ozbelltemp]

@@RuminatingRaptor nice ad hominem

[@dm9078]

Incompatibility is a thing. But his actions are just cruel and vile!

[@LilFeralGangrel]

yeah his actions were very malicious, op is better off without him

[@starbird3939]

Hard agree. Nothing he did helped her mental state-and shutting her out while she lost a friend is divorce worthy

[@dionysus_adores]

Op did nothing wrong he's just "forgiving" her temporarily until he does it again

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

So cruel!

[@laurameier7069]

Even if I still loved him, I'd never be able to trust him again.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "You're playing favorites!" You treated her _horribly_ for _ages._ Even if it _was_ a matter of Op playing favorites, what makes him think Op would even _like_ him let alone have him be the _favorite_ after everything? "Oh this person treated me like shit for years, I shall worship the ground they walk on and give them everything their heart desires" I bet he also thinks girls only go after AH Chads and leave "Nice Guys" like him in the dust 🚶🏻

[@robertx8020]

In scenarios like these, 'playing favorites' is FULLY justified!

[@brenttaylor8907]

How do you know he isn't an AH Chad? He seems like it to me.

[@adriennewaterhouse5174]

PSA ignoring people like this is very harmful. My mom used to ignore me like this and even deny my existence while I ages 7=10 sobbed and begged for her to even see me still f me up in so many ways

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. We should just call it what it is; manipulative and abusive. For me, the silent treatment was initially a break from the overt abuse, but quickly became a cause for even more anxiety, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop and all that bottled-up rage would spill out even more violently, followed by the gaslighting and blame game. Either way, it's obnoxious and abusive, and it's not something I will ever stand for. It's fine to say "I need some time to cool off/think," or whatever (as hard as that can be to accept), but you don't stonewall and ignore someone like that and especially not for a week on end.

[@mandalorianhunter1]

I'm sorry this happened. I hope you went NC with your mom

[@adriennewaterhouse5174]

@@mandalorianhunter1 no she went NC with me and died a year or so later. Still having a hard time figuring out what I feel

[@mandalorianhunter1]

@@adriennewaterhouse5174 oh okay hope you feel better. Maybe a part of you still longed for her love. I'm sorry you went through that

[@adriennewaterhouse5174]

@@mandalorianhunter1 yeah there's that but sooo much other stuff like why do I miss her terribly now .... My brain is a rabbithole

[@sinakirainine1719]

Last story: Okay but lets say the kid isnt in a bad household, but he can just be a jerk sometimes. Imagine him coming home each day explaining to his parents hes soaking wet because the neighbor hosed him down while making small talk 🤣

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #3: Why is OP's wife even salty? This is hilarious. The kid's lucky OP didn't call the cops on him and now they have a weirdly cute relationship.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

neighbors probably said something

[@paulastiles5507]

@@Kris-wo4pj Then the wife should have mentioned it.

[@Anonymous-mf2go]

She wants a hose child too

[@InvasionAnimation]

Op is lucky too that the kid isn't coping him. This behavior looks sus without the context we have.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@paulastiles5507 she did just not directly. Said it made them look like children and immature. Sounds like something my parents would say when they cared about the neighbors growing up.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

The more info OP in Story 1, the sadder I got for her. Their whole relationship has been her conceding to his wants. His actions seem so selfish. Story 2: NTA. Jim hasn't considered OP to be family, so no family heirloom for him. He can't treat OP like she's not family and ask for free stuff. Tell Jim's maternal family to pound course sand. Story 3: Well...one of them is a childish idiot! 😂

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 3 this is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time I think that kid is getting something from Okie that he is missing in his life.

[@Lestaticate]

Last Story: Well, that was unexpectedly wholesome! Kid literally started off as a cheeky so-and-so, and slowly became a friend. I do hope everything is alright with him and continues to form this unexpected bond with OP.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Ok so… how the husband tried to set it up? Basically paused it, told her “welp, it’s your turn” and then kept badgering her without giving her warning or patience. It’s like throwing a socially anxious person into a sudden public speech with no practice and go “good luck!” The fact this stems from sexual abuse makes the husband all the more of a asshole. And then he decides to shut her out for a week and has been hush about his issues for the entire time. Just… this is not cool. I would tell him to go.

[@boooo13]

I think it is a bit worse than suddenly throwing someone with no practice as she said she has been working on it. It's more like throwing a socially anxious person into a forced surprise party at their house that isn't even for them and it's too late for them to back out because people are already there - and the friend who set it up getting angry at them for be a nervous wreck because they know that they have been working on it for years so this shouldn't be a big deal. So, I wouldn't be surprised if this caused op to backslide on some of the progress they have made. I hope it isn't much progress but sadly it's easy to destroy progress than it is to fix.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

I would tell him so with a knee to the balls

[@Swnsasy]

I know exactly how she feels, I'm the same way due to trauma. A decade with my husband and he's NEVER EVER made me feel bad about it at all, not once, nor made faces to try and hide being upset.. Second, he NEVER plays the ignore game either.. That is so childish.. He shut himself away for 7 days without speaking to her? Heard her begging and crying and still did not come out is horrible.. That is a pathetic, arrogant, cruel and vile controlling person to do this to his wife knowing she's hurting so much.. This would make her feel even worse.. I'm so thankful my husband knows, understands and tries to help me.. I feel embarrassed yet my husband has never said it bothers him that I don't initiate or get embarrassed to say what I want. He will just go, like this, like that, and just tries to help me and I'm getting there... I have asked if it bothers him and he says he worries I'm not getting what I need from him but he's fine.. To do that to her is just a horrible husband..

[@s1os2s3]

I dont know anything about you or your husband. Just one advice. It will make him feel appreciated if you dont already do it. Making him feel loved and clearly show to him how much it means to you that he is willing to share your burden. There are guys that just dont mind because they have been relied on their whole life but whenever a crack is showin he will break down emotionally. If he does not have a vulcanic personality then he will not show it physically but, sometimes, cry unconsciously. Personally, I never minded sharing the burdens of others. It was just like any other day. Nothing really changed to me but what changed over time is that I no longer find peace and joy in my hobbies and I feel empty.

[@alexandralongacre6797]

Also, there are other ways to show a person is loved, wanted, and appreciated besides initiating sex.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I'm so sorry about your trauma. Loved hearing how you and your husband support each other though. That makes all the difference

[@Swnsasy]

@@AndyyWithAY You know what's stupid though? I know it is but.. During, I don't say what I want or move me here, right there etc, because I feel like if I do I'm going to be made fun of.. I feel like he's going to look at me as dumb, stupid and tell his buddies and I'll be made fun of.. That's the fear in my dumbass head!! Messed up thing? I'm 1yr away from my PhD in Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior and I cannot even help myself. I feel like a failure...

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@Swnsasy No you are definitely not a failure! The first step is to admit something is wrong and try to change it. Be gentle with yourself and just keep trying and realize your husband loves you and he would never say those hurtful things to you and especially not shame you to his friends. Congrats on the PhD too! I know that was tough! Wishing you both the best :)

[@CatLoverX74]

The last story was hilarious 🤣 I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it I think the kid likes having someone to talk to while getting a free shower to cool off from soccer 😂

[@owl7072]

Story 1: No no I'm with Op on this one, I'd want to leave and not bring him with me too. I'm not a very verbal person irl, very very introverted and don't talk much a lot of the time unless I know someone well enough, and even then it's only if they start it a lot of the time (one of my friends once referred to me as having "npc energy") I don't hate talking, I'm just generally quiet. Ignoring the clear signs of some sort of trauma, sounds like Op is an "actions over words" type of person, which honestly mood. If someone prefers initiating things through actions rather than verbally stating it then _let them._ Practically forcing someone out of their comfort zone then getting pissy and ignoring them for any amount of time longer than like, an hour (in the sense of a cool down period which even then, you should still tell them that), all because they didn’t do something when/how you wanted it is really shitty towards that person, and it's _especially_ shitty when a literal tragedy happens during that time and you _still_ choose to keep acting like a child. Edit: "I knew it would stress you out and i was just trying to protect you" Wow, you did a great job with that /s

[@justaperson4656]

Will be using npc energy as a phrase now, and just letting you know that since I see you a lot in these comment sections, you have sidequest-giver vibes. A wise owl asking for examples of healthier things

[@owl7072]

@@justaperson4656 🥰🤭✨️

[@SCP01986]

"NPC energy" 😂

[@merrybright5732]

For story 1 not only is the husband using silent treatment a form of sexual abuse, but he has now frankly impaired your ability to properly consent to sex acts in the future. Yes marriage is about compromise and openness, to a degree even in regards to sex, but he has now created the environment where not agreeing to his sexual requests leads to punishment from him. How is he (and to some degree even you) supposed to know now if when you agree to something he asks for, you’re saying yes because you want to or because he might shut you out and ignore you indefinitely after? OP should not have apologized, she doesn’t even need to justify her reasoning for not initiating. If she even just doesn’t like initiating, pressuring her to do so is sexual assault. Im not saying lock him up, I’m just saying he’s no longer trustworthy and you should at least consider counseling before resuming anything near sexual activity with him.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 NTA. Dad did not do enough. No way I'd stay with a man who let his son call me a b and demand I clean after him. He hasn't apologized or tried to foster a relationship, he just wants the ring

[@LilFeralGangrel]

first story: sometimes relationships cannot work. i'm glad OP understood this fact. it's a hard lesson but an important one. story three: i love how Mark was unable to keep himself from giggling when just reading the title

[@Kris-wo4pj]

honestly he sounds abusive as well. he refuses to communicate and makes her cry and beg for attention when hes the problem

[@LilFeralGangrel]

@@Kris-wo4pj definitely, he didn't seem to really care about his wife, it was all about him and HIS needs.

[@squirrel670]

​@@LilFeralGangrel but, he did it to "protect" her. Smh, she needs a partner.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

@@squirrel670 i always hate this narrative. why can't she protect herself lmao.

[@squirrel670]

@@LilFeralGangrel she was in the relationship for 6 years and previously she's known abuse, to her he looks like a good person in comparison. Emotionally manipulation is a good strategy because it's hard to call out and accomplish control while seeming like the victim. This woman is so traumatized sexually, she cannot even ask for it. I had a friend and the guy was manipulating her the same way. Telling her things that would emotionally destroy her, but say he just didn't want to hurt her. Me and my partner were screaming he is abusing her by the end of it. Thankfully she listened, but he drove over an hour to harass her at work and was trying everything to make her feel she owed him. After the relationship ended, she admitted thing that sounds like he was sexually abusing her too.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 3 NTA it's already hot AF, I'd love to get hosed down every day. Kid was absolutely an AH at first, but sounds like he just needed someone to talk to it. This was hilarious and surprisingly wholesome 1😂😂😌

[@pumpkinspice7279]

Ignoring someone and for so long, during a time they need comfort, is the cruelest punishment. You never do that to your loved ones. You can take some time for space, but not for days!

[@EvilTwin559]

I imagine OP running into that kid at Walmart or somewhere else. Op looks at him he looks at OP then says "Where's your water hose now?"

[@Russman67]

Story 3: "We look like childish idiots". Somehow OP made friends with the kid he's hosing down. No assholes here. Carry on! 🤣

[@browniewin4121]

Husband's emotional abuse is a very good reason to leave him. He showed no empathy for OP's problem, and to pressure and punish her for it is a deal breaker. OP needs to pack up her things, move for her new job, and get an attorney for the divorce and to have all contact through her lawyer. I don't think that there can be any coming back from this. Couples and individual counseling long since might have prevented this. after edits: It's a shame despite the wife's efforts and reassurance that he had to suddenly press this issue in a negative way and then sulk, neglect, and punish his wife. She really owed him no apologies for how she is that was explained to him from the start. After update: One week of ignoring after being dishonest about his feelings all along and then blow up is very unhealthy relationship dynamic. His passive aggression and OP always having to be the one to "compromise" makes me think she would be better off ending this relationship. 2) OP did everything right to not try to override who was their mother but to act in that roll and let the kids develop a relationship with her. No way in hell does the step-son, who is such a nasty AH, never accepted OP, and has absolutely zero connection to her family heirloom should expect it to be given to him. OP should not question her choice to say no to him about this. OP absolutely NTA. Block all those that are harassing. 3) Spraying with a hose could be considered assault, but it's nice this weird interaction has turned into something positive. NTA. He seems like a kid that needs someone to talk to and it has turned into that, I think it's good. Keep taking the time for cooling him off after practice and those conversations.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Story 1: OP begging for forgiveness breaks my heart. Trying to force her to do what he wants and then getting mad and ignoring OP when she can’t do it and breaks down feels abusive.

[@emdelicatelyme]

I listened to story 3 twice. There is something strangely wholesome about it ♡

[@MazzaEliLi7406]

Story 1: Take the promotion OP. Return to therapy because you have low self esteem issues that urgently need to be addressed in self defence. Leave hubby behind because he is another abuser. Learn to value yourself & if you need company then find a supportive partner. Best wishes for your future.

[@SherriLyle80s]

Last story is hilarious! Maybe get him a fan with one of those water squirter.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I have a chance to move and I don't think I want to bring my husband?? 😳🤔 WTF Less than a minute in...ohhhh BUUUUT did they not discuss this at all in the nearly half decade they dated prior to marriage?? It seems like they are incompatible. This reaction to her not feeling comfortable initiating sex seems too over the top. No one likes to always initiate, but she's explained her trauma. I couldn't forgive this. He knows her trauma and he didn't try to comfort her during a major crisis. OK she told him repeatedly about her hangups and reassured her it was OK then he drops this atomic bomb. I'd move for my new job and move on.

[@GMAMEC]

You’re right, they are incompatible. People can blame him, or her, but they both have valid points and perspectives. Although I think he’s overreacting, he might feel like he’s taking advantage of her. However, 4 or more times a week is above average for many couples that have been together for over 6 years. It’s usually less than 3-4 times a week. Unfortunately, there’s a lot going on. His stance can’t make her feel much better and she’s likely moving away from his pressing. I wish her the best.

[@sethrayne8076]

wow, the first story is so vile to imagine. their issues during sex are something me and my partner have experienced, although in a smaller scale, and to imagine being in OP’s husband place, and forcing her to tears, and once he got there getting pissed instead of concerned and apologetic- what kind of monster does that

[@RedCeltay]

The last story was great. I agree with the idea that he is needing the adult positive contact. ( no matter how it started) I was severely abused,and didn't trust any adults. 1 friends mom & went thru alot. Then bonded. She just being kind to me, helped me survive, not hurt myself. She taught me that I had value, mattered and not all families were like mine

[@Goodfood717]

The lawn story is heartwarming

[@aNoisyPlatypus]

I’m extremely embarrassed about my own sexuality as well because of how I was raised (no SA though, just being made to feel ashamed about anything to do with sex). So I find it very difficult to admit wanting sex, let alone asking for it. My husband requested that I initiate occasionally, so eventually I managed to work up the courage to do so. The few times I managed it, he turned me down. So that’s not ever happening again. I feel so bad for OP feeling afraid of initiating, and likely now being afraid not to initiate for fear of being punished.

[@thecrebain6760]

The last story made me laugh so hard but it is the middle of the night, so I had to hold it back while I work because I didn't want to wake anyone up.

[@witheredrose357]

she has trauma, she told him, asked him if he was okay, and he LIED about being okay and acted like it's her fault? honestly, he doesn't sound mature enough to be in a relationship. relationships take WORK, and it looks like he won't do this work.

[@LanaRedmond13]

Story #3 : The kid will forever remember this and remember this as a good time, someone is listening to him. He will talk about this to someone or his future family about this in the future. Having the ability to talk to someone, especially after a workout can lift a weight off of him. Probably therapeutic to the teen, and it seems the same way for the homeowner. Stress from life for a teenager can be hard and having someone to talk to who is not affiliated to your school or home life is sometimes a godsend.

[@crowdemon_archives]

And also the hosing itself is probably quite nice ngl

[@crawdaddy2004]

13:39 One thing I appreciate about OP’s post is that she refers to the late wife as “former” instead of “ex.” She appears to respect the late wife.

[@LadyPinkmonsta]

Okay was not expecting anything like that last story at all 😂😂 I hope they can get a little closer eventually, kid's probably got some heavy stuff on his plate

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

For the last one, I think sandwiches and drinks would be a better use of the 20 minutes bonding time, lmao. 😂😂😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

What are these questions about how long they've been together or the frequency of sex. OP said 4 times a week, why are people asking if they have a dead bedroom.

[@starbird3939]

Because half of the commenters only skim the stories.

[@slantos2668]

That last story about the hose had me in stitches. Wasn't expecting that!

[@Larchkty0324]

It's funny how some people forget to treat others with dignity and respect until they want something from them. That last story is hilarious and sweet in a way. From the kid being a jerk (in that way that kids those age usually do) to a kind of friendship.

[@victoriamiranda-stotelmyre4382]

The kid that walks on the lawn with his cleats isn’t a bad thing Groundskeepers charge extra for Aerating (exposure to oxygen for better growth). Also with OP hosing the kid down said kid can say he doesn’t need to shower at home because all his sweat has been hosed off. Win Win for everyone involved ❤

[@somethingelse4204]

Story 3: Get some indoor and outdoor cameras. Always, always, always have them filming when the kid comes over. Don't invite him inside unless your wife or another person is in the house and will engage with you AND the kiddo. It's bad ugly times and safe adults need to be above reproach.

[@SofieBjorkheim]

That last story was so wholesome though.

[@ShebaMetaluna]

Omg the last story had me rolling with laughter, it's both hilarious and adorable. I really hope that kid's home life is ok though.

[@dougmartin2007]

Story 2: its OP's ring, so it is her decision for whatever reason she likes. That guy is way to entitled to feel like it would go to him even though he treats OP the way he does.

[@kichikitsu]

S3 is fucking hilarious and a well needed pallette cleanser after the preceding two stories. God, if I was their neughbour I would rejoice in watching the spectacle of a nearly 40yr old man hosing down a kid who just stands there chatting with him about soccer and things 😭 The imagery of that kid staring him down for who knows how many days before he actually started to talk to him while OP sprays him with the hose is sending me lmfaooo

[@maddyc2412]

I really hope the woman in the first story is doing well and is safe

[@dethkruzer]

Story 1: so the husband has a pattern of emotionally beating down OP until he gets his way. The husband is not a good person, and I hope she leaves him to rot.

[@labella9291]

The last story reminds me of a foster, Nub Nub. He was a barker and one day I decided to squirt him with water to stop his barking because NOTHING was working and I didn't want to progress to bark collars... ANYWAY... He LOVED IT!!! When I would squirt him, he would catch and drink the water from the squirt bottle. I was like... well THAT didn't work

[@animatorstanley]

The last story turned so wholesome ❤

[@kimbarnes9809]

Story 1 - OP I am the same way. I was abused by my father and had major issues with sex. My husband knew this before marrying me. He taught me more ways of telling/showing him that I love him and find him attractive. We have been married 40 years and I still can not initiate sex but I am always receptive. He knows this and accepts my other ways of telling him I love him (hugging, touching him, cuddling etc). It works because he understands me. Your husband doesn't care about anyone but himself.

[@AryonaSamoto]

That last story took a hilariously wholesome twist😆 hope the kid is getting better❤

[@MarthaUlloa-o6o]

Omg!!! Story 3 is officially my favourite from all the stories you have read! Love it!

[@MrsGator7]

Story 1: Ops husband was abusive in that situation. He knew her issues. And to punish her for a week is mental abuse. Run OP.

[@Belladonna-sx9ke]

You're so much better than him. Big hugs.

[@wmdkitty]

Girl, DTMFA and take that promotion!

[@jumpingmoose5554]

Why would he be patient this whole time, and just blow up randomly? That's very annoying, he should've communicated more, and not shut her out when she had an emotional breakdown.

[@lillytheskeleton]

because he's an abuser. abusers act loving until you do something wrong in their eyes and then they blow up.

[@Nonprofitgenie]

I really hope we get an update to story 3!

[@bonnielee78]

me too. I loved it :)

[@terrybeasley5931]

1st story: You married a child. Go find a man. You deserve it, as things can only get worse. Some men never grow up: I found this out the hard way .

[@veronica5lmaa]

So true

[@HidanKitten32]

Story 3: XD Sounds like you have yourself a new friend. I can so see this happening. It was honestly "risky" (like the parents getting angry or the kid trying to get revenge) but I see it as a great way to make peace and get along. And, yeah, getting hosed down after working/playing hard would feel awesome

[@nikkid7838]

I love listening to Mark over all of the other KZbin narrators out there. It’s the personality he brings to the stories. You feel like a friend is talking to you and telling you their story. Thank you Mark; don’t stop being you 😊

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww wow thank you so much, that's incredibly kind 😀

[@sarahloveless1726]

Here's the thing: if this was so important to him, he'd be HELPING her through this. He wasn't And to the commenter talking about s*x being 'emotional' HOW ABOUT OPS FRIEND DYING?!?!?!

[@KittenUndercover]

Story 1: while I am completely on OPs side..I do think the poster that said maybe he feels rejected has a point. But the way he handled it and the other things OP described are very telling..I hope she gets out and gets help.

[@justaperson4656]

A fear of rejection is no reason to functionally SA her. Keeping in mind her issues stem from SA in the first place, he's punishing her for... not initiating. He's punishing her for not having sex. He's pressuring her into doing things she has stated numerous times she's uncomfortable with. If she says yes because she feels pressured or scared of punishment and being iced out, that isn't consent, that's a continuation of abuse.

[@philwill0123]

​@@justaperson4656functionally SA her? More like being frustrated with a 6 year issue he couldn't be honest with her BECAUSE she was SA. If you are always initiating, there is a point where you feel you are begging or demanding sex. Then it's uncomfortable for that person. Knowing OP has been SA makes it even worse to broach the subject. This appears to be a 6 year build up of frustration of a guy basically saying "make me feel wanted for once"

[@justaperson4656]

@@philwill0123 pressuring someone into sex is never okay. To make someone fear saying no to you in regards to that is functional SA, because they cannot provide consent if they fear not consenting. He should've been open and communicative like he was. A simple "hey, your lack of initiating is making me feel unwanted. I know you're working through this, and I don't want to put pressure on you, but please keep that in mind" 6 years ago would've prevented this entire fiasco.

[@chewym25]

​​@@justaperson4656 did you listen to the story? He didn't pressure her into sex. They were already in the middle of it when he suddenly stopped and asked her to tell him what she wanted him to do and she couldn't. He had initiated once again and she was willingly participating when he stopped and asked that. He handled the situation badly but he did not pressure her into having sex. I can see things from both sides here. This man has probably kept quiet about his feelings because he didn't want to make her feel worse. When you're dealing with someone with issues stemming from trauma you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them and you struggle with your own feelings being invalid because they're not as big as what that person went through. Like their struggle is worse than yours so you should just stay quiet. I have someone like this in my life. I also understand that his reaction was wrong and very likely blindsided her because she had no idea how he was feeling.

[@jenniferkay9789]

I believe there's a full updated story on Lost Genre's channel, for story 1. I think it goes at least one more update further...

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2 I feel sorry for Jim’s girlfriend. If only he knew he had misogynistic views about his stepmother

[@plantemor]

If you punish your partner with the silent treatment for days, even locking yourself in another room because of them not doing what you want, then you are not mature enough to be in a relationship. End of story.

[@jeneden3492]

6:59 there's something else going on, silent treatment, locking himself for a week, denying sex unless it's specifically how he wants it (Super sus!), Suddenly having a issue with something he knew six years before hand, and instead of looking for actual solutions he tried to detach....nah, F this guy, there's something else going on I once heard a man, with those tendencies say if he's not getting it at home, he's getting somewhere else (the F'ing pig) ....

[@philtherealdeal100]

St 1 cheated on her… gaslit her into thinking it was something else… just from reading she is being used

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

Story 1. What pisses me off about this is that even hubby’s ‘apology’ is turned around to blame her. He didn’t want to talk about it because he was worried about her getting upset? Wow… I hope she finds a better life with the new position. Story 2. OP should continue watering this relationship regularly! How knows what it will grow into! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TiBunCosplay]

Kids are like plants. Just need a good watering once in a while. XD

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Drinking rose while lisitening to Mark's sweet, mellow, smooth, velvety, melodious voice.

[@duaneglaze7229]

Giving someone the silent treatment for a week is childish and manipulative but it is not abuse

[@Silence-1170]

Have a great rest of your night waffles! Stay safe and stay positive waffles!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey can you take care of yourself? Just do one small thing that will make yourself happy. And if you feel like you can do more, please stretch, drink some water, and eat something. You matter so much. I send all the virtual love. 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@Imjustkendall]

AA I see you so many times here you literally feel like a aunt or whatever reminding me to take care 😭

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@Wick Monroe aww 💜💜🤗🤗

[@starbird3939]

You are always a wonderful light. Thank you.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@starbird3939 🤗🤗💜💜

[@bioshockbrat9171]

healthy exploration as partners, as well as encouragements. My husband and I take time to talk even while in the act, "hey I need you to make some noise to distract my brain to help make this work. communication is important but so is listening and active teamwork. Talk after the fun and unwind together.

[@nikkihorn3852]

The last story maked me smile so much

[@EnbiousTanuki]

So I’m not someone who comments on these things very much but I feel a need to this time around. Story 1: op is someone I just resonated with as I have similar hang ups to them tho for different reasons than their update shed light on. They absolutely need to get away as soon as they can(I don’t remember if it mentioned they already were trying) cause that man is outright emotionally abusive/manipulative. When i got to the part of the update where they mentioned the “compromising”(read:op ending up constantly having to be the one to back off), that right there is a tactic meant to break a person down overtime. And the fact the husband locked op out and refused to acknowledge their existence is just RANCID. Especially waiting several HOURS after a note HAD to be made and slid under the door. People like that husband are just slimy, disgusting, and selfish individuals. And the “oh I was trying to protect you”..I call bs when it’s linked to everything else presented. The husband wasn’t trying to “protect” anyone, just didn’t care enough to actually ***communicate***. Not every talk has to be fun, but serious topics like that?? It’s IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT THEM NO MATTER HOW SUCKY THEY ARE. I’m sorry if I got rather ranty, I have been in a really bad relationship where the same tactics were used that the husband in that story did, and it just *boils my blood* that people who actually do that exist.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@tully6648]

Story 1: I heard this one before, and my initial reaction still stands-all he did was set her up to become anxious about foreplay in addition to everything else. Any time they start becoming intimate, THIS will come to mind. I would not want to initiate intimacy, either, knowing my partner has and could do something like that again.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Uhg why do docs have to do jurry duty, my appointment is now moved to September

[@Rjeda30]

Physicians, teachers, law enforcement, military etc, should not have to do jury duty. Your jobs are too important.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@RJ yeah ik but I want answers for why my limbs go numb and he refuses to let me see anyone else and he's already been unhelpful for other issues of mine

[@carolroberts4614]

How annoying! I don't think it's right that doctors have to do jury duty! They're needed elsewhere more urgently!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@Carol Roberts yeah but oh well, hope you're well tho carol 🤗🤗💜💜

[@Cheri8795]

Oh my gosh Mark you had me laughing hysterically during the last story! The story definitely took a turn I wasn't expecting. Haha! I thought it was funny, but I absolutely love your laughter! I swear the more you laugh the more I laugh and it is such a gift. Like you, I've had a few really hard years and listening to you gives me many breaks from everything. Thank you! If i lived nearer I would definitely send you a cake. 😊 Take care. I think you are a genuinely good guy and I wish you all the happiness and success in life.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. That man is being manipulative of OP's emotions and sexual behavior. I find it extremely cruel the way he has treated her also. 2. First off, that ring came from OP's family, not his. She's giving it to her oldest child who treats her well. Jim has treated her like garbage and isn't entitled to anything. The fact that she is giving it to her step daughter speaks volumes. His maternal family can kick rocks and pound sand. 3. Kid is just getting a shower after playing soccer. lol That was so funny.

[@Sunnyside55]

Making my husband's birthday cake listening to your video!! Thank you for always keeping me company!

[@ruansteenkamp4289]

Story 1: I’m with the husband on this one, that one comment that stated that the OP not doing anything can lead to feeling inadequate, it just feels wrong for my partner to not even be able to state her intrest is something

[@emilybarclay8831]

How selfish can you be? They’re having sex at least four times a week. But it’s not the _right_ kind of regular sex. She has to bend to his every whim or she gets punished with what is essentially a temporary divorce? He listened to her WEEPING for a week and didnt even give the slightest shit that his wife was distraught because she wasn’t bending to his will

[@ruansteenkamp4289]

@@emilybarclay8831 “bending to his will” ? What are you, deranged? The man just wanted her to say what she wanted to do during sex, not forcing her to take massive loans out on her name for him to use. And to add, yes they are having sex on a regular basis, but they are only doing what the husband wants to do, nothing that the OP wants to do, the husband wanted to hear and do what the OP wanted during sex, what is wrong with that?

[@Jrskeetpro]

@@emilybarclay8831 I’m not on his side here, but you’re downplaying the situation a bit. He’s instigating it all the time though. You know how many abusive husbands get sex multiple times a week? Most of them. Them having sex doesn’t wave the happily married flag you’re expressing here.

[@celestialsoldier622]

Facts. She even stated he brought it up twice before but after 6 years he was tired and she seemed to do nothing to improve on that flaw. The fact that he had the patience's to initiate sex for 6 years is amazing. He finally snapped but didn't let his anger out on her but bottled it up and ignored her as she has been ignoring him all these years.

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

Story 2: NTA - YOUR family heirloom.... your family can have a say in who can have the ring but not your stepson's maternal family since it has nothing to do with them. They can provide a ring or cash for his engagement ring.

[@reasonpeason847]

Story 3: I read it and loved it, I dreaded looking down at the comments to see people trying to represent it as something not so wholesome and when I didn’t see it at all and how it was hilarious and strangely wholesome I was like “oh good, I’m not inviting such commentary” but there is a comment in here about it so now I can say I really hope it doesn’t get misconstrued that way for both OP and the kid’s sake. Mark, I think the best comment from OP on this is when someone asked if his kids were similarly aged and if they can become friends and OP said “nah, they have enough friends, this kid is *my* friend lol” which kinda added to the wholesomeness. Idk, I just have such a soft spot for inter generational friendships and am sad that it’s actively discouraged because it seems “creepy” to say “oh yeah this grown ass adult is my friend/this small child is my friend!” but having those friendships make it easier for a kid to determine if an adult is being inappropriate towards them. Like this kid will be able to discern if another adult is being a creep about spraying him with a hose because of the guy *not* being a creep but just kind of an asshole response to him being an asshole that turned into small talk. Just something also about two people just being mutually kind of assholes bonding through it too is really funny.

[@oakenshadow6763]

That last one was strangly wholesome. Kid found someone who saw him and hangs out, even if it's odd as fuck. >XD

[@g-saviour6581]

Even if I was dumb enough to insult someone to their face I’d never have the audacity to ask them for a favor after I mistreated them for years the nerve of some people

[@susankaempfer8427]

14:44 yeah, no. What a selfish little boy. He’s cheap and wants a free ring.

[@standinthegsp6858]

Maybe you can offer him a bottle of cool water (obviously unopened of course). Maybe you can find one of those lighted sprayers that have color changing lights.

[@Tijggie82]

Such a triggering story, that first one. I really hope she'll leave him.

[@stephaniehowells6364]

I feel like I relate so much to the first op omg🥺 it's sad to know but also I'm glad to know that others feel the way I do😢

[@stephaniehowells6364]

And you have done enough, you are enough op

[@ceeshnia]

Story 2: You don't get to treat someone horribly and then expect them to give you something invaluable.

[@kratkartan1486]

Story 2: I can see why Step son is a hostile jerk. His mother's side of the family are the ones poisoning his mind.