Masculinity & Femininity in Christian Marriage. Androgyny in the Church.

[@rohneshamhorne]

This was so good. I learned so much from this video. Over the past 5 years God has been pruning me and leading me to let go of my masculine ways. I am 42 single with no kids but I have an amazing career. I'm grieving because who knows if I'll ever be a wife and mother. Recently, I have taken so many steps to soften my heart, mannerisms, and use prayer and the scriptures to renew my mind. God Bless you both!

[@LauraSue99]

I’m so glad you addressed this. New-agey masculine and feminine content is what introduced me to this idea. I’m thankful for it. 5 years later not only is my marriage 100 times better but Jesus found me and I’m born again. Praise the lord!

[@ScottandKelli]

Thank you so much for sharing your testimony with this Laura! God bless you!!

[@jenaya_laila2442]

I think a man can still be there for a woman's emotions without having the view that he is "appeasing her". The Bible says that a man" should love his wife like Jesus did his church". I mean if that isn't sacrificial, unconditional love, dedication and making her the most important person in his life, then what else could that passage mean?

[@bonnipeat1351]

I’ve been married for 17 years and have never had any one teach on this… this is incredible and very profound! So thankful for you two being obedient in the Lord in walking this out in front of others. I know that’s not easy, but I’m very blessed by this! God bless you guys! And thank you!

[@chani17305]

Listening from SA. Totally agree with what you're saying! You are a beautiful couple. The harmony between you two is evident. May the Lord continue to bless you.

[@kellyv7701]

So true... No one told me it was ok to want to be married and stay home with my kids. I feel judged everyday by others but I know I am doing the right thing.

[@alivingstone4Him]

I love it! That is the best role for woman as Titus 2 tells us. May God bless you with a wonderful godly husband and a home with your children being the mother God calls you to be!

[@oldsoulhomestead89]

What I value about yalls videos is that you are frank and honest about reflecting on your life to help others avoid certain traps. It's more valuable than when people say things but actually have no idea.

[@mandarue5104]

I loved this video. It gives me hope I'm on the right track.

[@cerickson5256]

Great message! Even as a 50 year old who has been married almost 30 years, I look back and see the way I was brainwashed about some of these issues, and how these proper roles are so not being taught to young men and women in the church or Christian homes. Also, loved what you had to say about the inversion of roles and how that's pushed - I see that!

[@joelbishop8808]

This is great, I am planning on showing this to my fiancé and her parents👍🏼👍🏼

[@gracesnyder4400]

So good!! Thank you!!

[@ScottandKelli]

Such a great question! Thank you for asking it, Grace!

[@AliciaVintage]

So grateful for your content and advices!

[@ScottandKelli]

So glad, thank you and God bless you!

[@AliciaVintage]

@@ScottandKelli God bless you too!

[@Shoop8964]

This is so good. I have wasted so much time on things that don’t serve me in my walk with God. Something I’ve realized lately is that I am not physically supposed to do some tasks like remodeling a home. We are remodeling our home and that was my idea…but it is really difficult for me to juggle that along with taking care of our home and children. It’s been wrecking our routine, organization, and happiness because things are just sitting around in a jumbled up mess. 🙈 I’m definitely rethinking the “diy” mindset now that I realize I can’t do it all. And I don’t want to burden my husband with my leftover projects that I couldn’t handle because he didn’t ask for that. 🤦‍♀️ I grew up with a single mother that diy-ed everything including some really challenging jobs. On top of that, my dad is an architect and builder. So I’ve felt like a failure not being able to accomplish the stuff I think I “should” be able to. When in reality, it’s not my calling lol. 😅

[@oldsoulhomestead89]

My husband and I fixed and remodeled a trailer we live in. He did the roofing and sub floor with our sons, I helped lay flooring and some plumbing and I painted the walls and cabinets and made the soft decorations. He invited me to help and come see the view from the roof but I couldn't step off the ladder lol I think working together on a big project you will end up realizing the masculine and feminine strengths of a house project.

[@olivia4400]

Soo on point….i absolutely love your channel Scott and Kelli.

[@akilbourne]

Yay! Love your videos! ❤😊

[@ScottandKelli]

I'm so glad! God bless you!

[@isaiahjones4500]

This video was confirmation of what the Lord told me a couple of weeks ago. Im a college student, and I still get anxious about what to do with my life because I still dont know exactly what I want to do. But the Lord comforted me showing me these verses and just telling me to keep on living. Ima keep on going. Thank you guys!

[@billmaddock]

Your videos are so on point 💯Keep making content like this 🙏🏼

[@ScottandKelli]

Thanks Bill! God bless you!

[@80americarlos]

Very well said. Thank you!

[@tanyatibshirani9491]

I just stumbled upon your channel today and this is the first (and only so far) video I've watched and within the first five minutes I subscribed to your channel. I agree with so much of what you shared and it resonated deep within me, I feel we are cut from similar cloth! My one question is, what about Deborah? She was a prophet and a judge. Is it possible that women can be in these "roles" and yet steward them from a place of femininity? I believe so. Not all are called to marriage, Paul even encourages us to not marry unless we cannot temper our lustful desires, saying that living a single life is better as we are undistracted and can live with undecided attention to the Lord. For a women who. may be in a single season or called to a life of singleness, being beautiful, helpful and cheerful will not be enough to help her get by, though she can move from that place in whatever role she steps into. I loved what you shared and agreed, I also think there's more to it?! We can step into leadership roles and yet lead from a feminine place, it's not easy but I do believe it's possible. We even see in the NT that many of the home churches were lead by women. Anyways just some thoughts post watching your video, now I'm off to watch more of your videos. Thank you!

[@laurajoiner1684]

This was SO good! I agree and can relate with Kelli’s testimony. It’s hard because I know that evangelism and people getting saved is so important obviously, but how can we do it as women? I think one of the ways is to teach the younger ladies. And another way, obviously, is to raise our children to go out and take dominion for the kingdom. Before my son was born, I used to go and pray outside of planned parenthood, and I would stand there to help any women who were looking for another option. That is a dangerous task and the Lord definitely protected me and my friends. (We were threatened to be shot at one point). So I totally get what you are saying… and I believe women’s focus should be on their family and home, but I do believe women have a role to play in ministering in some way outside their family (as long as their family remains 1st priority). How can we as women go about doing it within our feminine role? I don’t believe it was wasted labor by praying outside an abortion clinic, and those women needed a woman to be there for them to run to for another option. I would really love if you could do a video on women ministering within their feminine role ❤️. I LOVE your videos, so encouraging. Love you guys!

[@ScottandKelli]

Laura, this is SUCH a good question! We're making a video on this! Thanks so much!!

[@janeteliane]

can't express enough how much I enjoy learning from you 2! is there anywhere I could ask you questions privately?

[@ScottandKelli]

I'm so glad! Yes, you can email [e-mail]

[@andrewmashburn5615]

Thank you so much!!!!

[@GlorytoGodYaweh]

Great video

[@nicoledennis-lawrence-lg6lc]

Powerful!!!!!!

[@10024westsidenyc]

These are excellent points! How do we then reverse the damage that's been done to us? Especially those of us women who have been lied to by the popular culture about the importance of being goal oriented boss lady types. Plus, I've attacted wimpy males my entire life and I'd love to get married one day to a Godly man who's a natural leader but I fear I'm doomed especially because I've just turned 42.

[@carinthiamontana7069]

That’s rough. I hope you don’t get mad at me for saying this… I think the best bet at this point is to find a man significantly older (say 55+), who will be proud to have a younger wife. Perhaps a widower or somebody who discovered late in life that he too has been lied too and that libertarianism wasn’t the promised land.

[@ScottandKelli]

Thanks for sharing your context! Carinthia's advice above is great. Praise God that you are aware of these things now, and that you can live in a feminine way. We pray that you meet a God fearing man. For me growing into femininity has looked like being conscious and embracing those 3 virtues we've talked about- beauty, helpfulness, and cheerfulness!

[@10024westsidenyc]

@@carinthiamontana7069 thanks for sharing your opinion, I'll have to research what libertarianism is, I'm not familiar with the definition although I've heard the term used. I'll try to stick with guys in the 40s range for now since I'm only 42 and look young for my age. My biggest problem is that I'm currently a caregiver for my dad and the past 8 years I've been doing that. I had also taken care of my mom for the last 3 years of her life and it's taken a toll on me in every way possible. I'm slowly trying to transition away from that so I can live my life and let a profesional caregiver help my dad. I've honestly been robbed of my youth becuase I didn't voluneer to be a caregiver, it was just by happenstance. Anyway, during this time I have never gotten a chance to get out and be around men since I've been caregiving. I'm in counceling now so maybe she can help me in this area.

[@10024westsidenyc]

@@ScottandKelli Thanks Kelli, I agree with you. My helpfulness is finely tuned because I've been a caregiver for 8 years and I've had to learn to be on top of things at all times. I used to be a fashion stylist many years ago so I know about the beauty and fashion aspect but it's been a struggle as a caregiver. I stopped wearing makeup a few years ago and embraced the face that God gave me and I focus heavily on using good quality skincare products and taking care of my skin as much as possible. Maintaining cheerfulness is and has always been my biggest struggle in life because of childhood trauma. But nevertheless I'm working on letting Jesus heal that so I can be cheerful most of the time. Anyway, thanks for prayers and I appreciate you being out here sharing Godly advice with us. For some reason, these days I seem to be learning a lot from the younger adults as well as the ones who are very much older than me, what a blessing!

[@jenaya_laila2442]

I love this..

[@billmaddock]

I want to go to y’all’s church

[@garlandofbooks4494]

I enjoyed the conversation- wanted to give one push back, @18:46 I don’t agree that this is all that university is for, in the ideal sense, although today more and more you have to keep your head down and shut out the stupidity and treat them like a trade school and ignore the garbage of the literature and history classes. Most universities have garbage courses now, and you can get some of the beautiful things that university should have without actually going - if you know where to get them, and almost no one I know seems to pursue such things. Accreditation and degrees aren’t the thing, but for example, a very clear and basic thing that would be helpful to a husband is a wife who can read - true education is a gift from God, and it shouldn’t end at high school or university, but should continue through ones entire life. Next, a wife who does read is valuable to her husband, who applies her mind - no man wants a silly and stupid wife. Learning is not the same as accreditation or degrees. Sadly, almost no one I know reads at a high level. My husband and I can share some of the most beautiful conversations with each other that almost no one else can participate in. My hope and joy is that our children will be able to also enjoy them. True Education is a blessing from God. We are in fact to love Him with all our mind!

[@LaurenSheehan]

You yeo nailed it ! I would love to hear you speak aboiy the way the church encoruages singlness as a gift and does not adequately help and encoriage and teach the young people to persud marriage.

[@CassTeaElle]

This is so sad to me. I'm not an egalitarian or a feminist or anything, but hearing a woman say that she looks back on her years of praying for others and ministering to them and witnesses to them about Jesus with sadness, because that was probably a job for a man to do... is crazy to me.

[@Pellucidmind2]

she can’t say everything when she says something. She’s lamenting probably because I think they’ve been trying to get pregnant and she is wondering if she was pressured to do men’s work instead of starting a family and what may have been lost. Her husband said in another video That no time is wasted; however, it’s very human to lament what could have been. I suspect she has complex emotions around this and presented it as an example. Idk if that makes sense.

[@CassTeaElle]

@@Pellucidmind2 you're making a lot of assumptions and speculations... she specifically said that she regrets her ministry because it was probably a man's job, not because she could have been having babies. I'm responding to what was actually said, not some other assumption about what she might have secretly meant.

[@aloealice]

​@@CassTeaElle 7:44 she said about fertility, it wasn't assumptions

[@CassTeaElle]

@@aloealice I know she talked about fertility in this video. I watched the video. That doesn't change what I said.

[@JuniperGal-ek2pu]

U don’t believe in equality..?

[@jenniferperez1944]

What was glorified was both working parents or a good single one

[@user-dv8bs7tb5c]

I am a non Christian viewer of yours, I think it only makes obvious sense to follow what people across cultures religions and time have always done. What works for all works because it's the truth. The bible has an incredible amount of things in it that support things I believe must be true from living. Definitely respect Christianity. It took me getting really honest with myself with what I really want and what WORKS wether it feels good or not. I'm still a work in progress at 40 (married stay at home) I LIKE staying home best! my skills are very much at use- and I have done it all- from Customer service to multiple outdoor labor jobs. I LOVE my husband moving into a more provider masculine role, I recognize a higher power, I recognize it's all very intentional organized and thought out. I cannot personally choose which religion is "correct" but I definitely take the meat spot out the bones with all of them and many world views . I truly believe men have argued and fought over the details for centuries but there is a truth inside of all of us and main rules and themes across religion is undeniably similar because we all KNOW somewhere deep down what is correct. Really enjoy hearing you two talk. I think everyone in this world was created to play their part and I am not certain that no women in many jobs is correct. Women can choose and women have different skills and brains and not every woman can or will have children and might very well contribute to humanity best in journalism, etc who knows 🤷‍♀️ you can have a belief but I don't enjoy this idea of not educating women. That makes me think of the show the hand maids tale. Humanity can very easily go in the other direction the wrong way as well we have a habit of it.... That show is terrifying. All journalism being from a man's perspective is terrifying as well 😂 we may not be equals but deserve equality in options

[@JesusFreak4Ever]

Hi! I just found this "channel". I just wanted to share my own experience related to choosing more traditional roles but not being Christian. This was us. Been married 29 years. We're in our 50s now. I quit working when we had kids. That did help relieve stress in our marriage. I was agnostic. My husband was raised going to church, but behind closed doors it was a different story. In adulthood he strayed away. In 2021 I got Saved. Id say radically. My husbabd and I both go to church. God is doing Mighty Work in us. I will tell you....the Truth is that if Jesus is not the Center for your husband, and for you, and therefore for your marriage; you are living a cheap knockoff of what God intends for you and your family and subsequent generations even. The Fullness of this design cannot be known apart from knowing God through Jesus Christ. Revelation through The Holy Spirit is necessary. The Holy Spirit is even necessary for deeper understanding of Scripture. The Power of Prayer is necessary. The Fruit of The Spirit is necessary. I had this realization after 50 years of being a nice person who volunteered a lot, didn't drink, etc: nice people that dont accept Jesus are going to hell just the same as murderers that dont accept Jesus. I realized doing nice things without Jesus in it was still a load of crap. And my marriage without Jesus in it was still a load of crap, frankly. So dont settle for the cheap knockoff that the world (and satan) is selling. Claim your full inheritance with all its benefits in Jesus Christ.

[@Michelle-yq2pe]

What are your thoughts on the Five Love Languages concept? Do you think it encourages androgyny? Or emasculate men?

[@ScottandKelli]

Interesting. It seems like a practical tool. We haven't put much thought into it. What are your thoughts on the androgynous side of it?

[@kimalonzo3363]

Well, i prefer a woman gynecologist and she'd have to go to medical school. Right? Please respond.

[@katherinekatherine5725]

Try a midwife

[@JesusFreak4Ever]

​@@katherinekatherine5725 I thought midwives were usually nurses? (Which does also require a license that requires education beyond high school.)

[@katherinekatherine5725]

A CRN is a certified nurse midwife. There are also midwives that are not nurses. I've seen both and find midwives preferable to doctors. See whoever you like, there are options. If you are in an emergency situation, you probably wont care if it's a man or woman.​@JesusFreak4Ever

[@pattyhansen7563]

You DO find this more separation of roles in the Catholic Church. Women are not allowed to do quite a few things in service/Mass or within the hierarchy. The men (priest/deacon) are in charge of mission. Women take a much more support type role. (It was more strict pre Vatican II. But people still keeping arguing about it - pushing to let women do more. I am not in favor of it.) The more traditional ones of us are not too far into the androgyny framework - but it is a fight to stay out of it altogether.

[@nicholelamarche9270]

What do you recommend women do for money before finding a husband

[@niecybaby1960]

A conservative worldview, don’t leave that one out. They all present a form of Godliness but deny the power of it. The focus is not on God but themselves.

[@JesusFreak4Ever]

Amen! This was me before I got Saved. I became a housewife once we had kids. Didnt get Saved until I was 50 yrs old. This is not about being a TradWife. I was a pagan (agnostic but really its all pagan). The core of a marriage HAS to be Jesus. Thats the only way the center will hold. If He's the Center. Cause our marriage was still jacked even though I was became a housewife and had a bunch of kids. Cause we didnt have God Praise The Lord, our Redeemer!!! Who is Working even now!!!

[@jenniferperez1944]

My mother was definitely masculine and my father emasculated, not good healthy role models