Meanwhile... Is This Man A Bigger "Lord of the Rings" Fan Than Stephen Colbert?

[@tiberiussempronious6252]

I know Colbert asked Evie if they could build their own Shire and she said no.

[@lillia2479]

They're literally trying to make something with blood, sweat, and tears. 😆 🤣 😂

[@malavoy1]

They'll probably get a DMCA take down notice from the funk band if NASA uses that in their advertising. 😁

[@davebrown3117]

They are an old jazz/rock group from the late 1960s. Some cool songs.

[@aiedailguardian]

Seeing Jon Baptiste living his best life will never fail to bring a smile to my face. Love ya Jon

[@lcflngn]

Batiste, but agree 100% (Sry, took me a while to get that right, hope I’m not being annoying!)

[@evelynhills950]

Love you Jon your wonderful

[@SashaTheConqueror]

"Meanwhile" still throws me, I keep saying "Quarantinewhile" at the climax of the music 😆

[@VideoAssaultSaturday]

Me too! 🤣

[@cynhanrahan4012]

Me, three!

[@PowerGlove79]

Me, four

[@leandabee]

And I miss the vaxscene ditties, 😥🤣

[@Yvonne_ennovY]

Glad I’m not the only one! 🤣🥰

[@toddmorningstar4206]

"I built this home with my own blood, sweat and tears"

[@PhylaMedia]

I just pissed a house.

[@malavoy1]

@@PhylaMedia Talk about your kidney stones. 😁

[@SpSot]

Too literally!!

[@richarddarlington1139]

"And when I die, And when I'm gone, There'll be one child born, In this world, To carry on, to carry on." - Blood, Sweat, and Tears Sorry, sometime I just can't help myself.

[@e-dubbses403]

@Malavoy L 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Comment of the day😂😂😂😂😭

[@karenwillough180]

I know it’s silly, but “Dr. Acula” cracked me up.😂😂😂

[@dvergar1]

They stole that joke from Mitch Hedberg

[@larryinfante3439]

I knew that joke from the show Scrubs.

[@jayluck8047]

@@dvergar1 - Beat me to it.

[@admerin6961]

That was a running joke on Scrubs for years. Best ever show, all episodes are on Amazon Prime. 😁

[@admerin6961]

@WiLD CHiLD i will have to believe you as I don't know who that is.

[@bettersecret1499]

News from Italy 🇮🇹 : Not only the guy has wife, lots of friends partecipating, but also the support from three major cast members of the Lord of the ring! He is basically building a theme park that you can visit! I like dreamers

[@rowynnecrowley1689]

Ah I see. It always comes back to capitalism.

[@SpSot]

Αnd I am not far from Italy!!!!

[@karlkarlos3545]

"...but also the support from three major cast members..." Have two of them a podcast?

[@SpSot]

@@karlkarlos3545 I wonder. 😁😁😁😁😁😁

[@IAmJustR]

Im down as long as I can be an elf.

[@kristianfagerstrom7011]

Mars: building is coming along nicely, pls send more colonists :-)

[@stefanschneider3681]

Everytime „Meanwhile“ comes up I am stunned how it is possible to say three million words without taking one breath 🤣🤣🤣!!! Beautiful 🤩!

[@nonamegame9857]

Don't you ever listen to your local weatherman 🤣🤣

[@DMXXCorps]

Now I'm paying too much attention to his breaths

[@socrappyicoulddie]

Moments like these you can really tell Stephen’s theater background comes in handy

[@rbrendel1302]

"I'm not a serial killer!" Bob, the Marsian Builder

[@jlee4039]

Wow, whoever wrote the Chinese lantern intro deserves a raise. 👨‍🍳 💋

[@Retrovorious]

Hmmm…did you write that?

[@JanStrojil]

Agreed. 👍🏻 This was one of the best. Always my favourite part of Meanwhile.

[@notsure1969]

And the Dr. Acula joke.

[@kimhudson9173]

THIS!

[@RustOnWheels]

These little intros always tickle my imagination so I need to pause afterwards or else I will miss the First meanwhile, still gone in thoughts. These two juxtapositions were exceptional indeed.

[@XMasColara]

The dedication in making these intros is so incredible. Thank you Stephen and also to your writers! You rock.

[@TheShadowwalker007]

“Deranged fireworks accident” 🤣 love that it was an ‘accident’ not question

[@AlmaNegra420]

What? Did auto correct change a word here? Because this statement makes no sense and I don't understand how 30 people understood it.

[@revinaque1342]

@@AlmaNegra420 It makes sense until the last two words 😅

[@rowynnecrowley1689]

3 uses? That's cute. More like whenever I have time/money/energy to do laundry.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

What’s “energy”? (;

[@ksevio]

I'm the cleanest thing around after I take a shower so it's basically getting cleaner each use!

[@undertheveil1576]

Dr. Acula made me spit out my breakfast laughing

[@EasyMac813]

Thank JD from Scrubs for that one

[@undertheveil1576]

@@EasyMac813 loved it! 🤣

[@adrenacrumb]

@@EasyMac813 Scrubs took it from Mitch Hedberg.

[@AldoBishalini]

@@adrenacrumb You beat me to it.

[@timbeaton5045]

@@AldoBishalini Er... wasn't that the name of a character in Night of the Ghouls, by Ed Wood? Must date back to late 50s at least.

[@lesleyghostdragon3149]

Possibly my favorite "Meanwhile" intro ever! You light up my life, Mr. Colbert : ) xoxo

[@vdiitd]

They need to do a meanwhile intro with Lord of the Rings theme.

[@brigittespuck]

For Frodo!

[@arctic_haze]

Too expensive, I guess.

[@szahmad2416]

Let me try: "Folks, as you know, I spend most of time sitting right over here, forging only the finest news stories like an immortal elven swordsmith crafting a sword saber fit only for a high elf of Galadhrim, carefully melting and re-forging and fusing any broken shards, before quenching and grinding the cold, glowing blade to a fine-tuned and deadly point, polishing it to a gleaming sheen, tracing the fine, spidery plot lines as if they were high elven runes to ultimately unsheathe for you the shining Anduril that is my nightly monologue, but sometimes, folks, just sometimes, I snatch the broken axeheads off of dead, drunken Uruk-hai foot soldiers, hastily lick the blood and gore off of their chipped stone blades before jamming them onto a shattered and rusty haft on which I hastily smear some Orcish curse words with green goblin blood before presenting you with the wretched, double-bent Orcish blade of news that is my segment - MEANWHILE.”

[@krisfrederick5001]

"I went to the doctor. All he did was suck blood from my neck. Do not go see Dr. Acula" - Mitch Hedberg

[@notconvinced]

Awwww, I love Mitch Hedberg references and quotes 🦋🐦 He was a Very Cool Dude!

[@SRDuly2010]

I used to like Mitch Hedberg. I still do but I used to, too 🤣 RIP, Mitch

[@Phil_A_O_Fish]

College students' laundry tip: when you drop a towel on the floor and it smashes then that's when it's time to wash it.

[@gabrielpozzebon9338]

Dammit that's a meanwhile intro for the ages

[@Hornswroggle]

Technically they all are...

[@LordMoku]

Scientist: "Building on Mars will take blood, sweat and tears." Journalists: *writing furiously* Scientist: "... Wait, not *literally*-"

[@buildtherobots]

Blood sweat and tears... and piss

[@Quintusblake]

@@buildtherobots blood, sweat and other bodily fluids.

[@gamepapa1211]

@@Quintusblake I'd love to see a house made out of semen.

[@gamepapa1211]

@Robocop yeah yes lol

[@perrywoods7493]

"What goes up.....must come down..."

[@Grim_Beard]

"Wow, he has a wife!" [Laughs in Evie]

[@matthewjkhill6657]

That was one of the best intros in a while.

[@lisajean228]

It was smoothly delivered, too

[@toddmorningstar4206]

Imagine getting to tell aliens that we erected cities just from soil and our own blood.

[@ReturnToSenderz]

Aliens: “So that’s a metaphor? You guys fought a war or something to build on this land?” Humans: “Nah, these buildings are literally made with our blood. We needed a binding agent.” 👾 ☠️

[@JB-xl2jc]

Advanced blood magic

[@AllPileup]

Aliens: Woah bro cool down wtf r u serious

[@A_A_K_123]

Meanwhile has more subordinate clauses than an Ezra Klein podcast.

[@Kuiriel]

You gotta tell us who writes the opening for meanwhile sometime!!!

[@MonkeyJedi99]

Probably a whole team of writers, housed in a gently used dumpster, working in cubicles made of recycled asbestos pipe insulation, typing fervently on computers from the former Soviet Union to earn their lunch break where they sit on moving carpets of luxury rats and dine on pizza found in the markdown section of the nearest Dollar Store.

[@ammaleslie509]

I'm sure it's a team effort.

[@dansimsss]

I just love the complicity between Stephen and Jon.

[@VideoAssaultSaturday]

I like how urine is an option and instead they focus on blood, as if urine isn't a million times more plentiful and easier to collect.

[@kathyt55]

Not so plentiful if you consider that water is almost non-existent on Mars. Urine will need to be recycled.

[@vikmanphotography7984]

@@kathyt55 the water itself is not the useful part here. The urine would be processed to remove the useful dissolved solids. Then of course you'd recycle the water.

[@Jonathanizer]

blood is probably more effective

[@vikmanphotography7984]

@@Jonathanizer blood would at least produce much more building material per volume. But I'd hope that the easier production and collection of urine is enough to overcome the extra processing needs.

[@billofrights154]

Drawing blood uses piles of one-time-use medical supplies. Tons of cash involved. Urine uses a cup.

[@artbyjennyray]

One of my favorite Meanwhile intros ever!

[@djr3386]

Public Demand: Compilation of Meanwhile Intros

[@SpSot]

That is going to be a very long compilation.....

[@djr3386]

@@SpSot Everyone will see it. Guaranteed.

[@AnnoyingMoose]

CBS spends years carefully selecting clips of the finest monologs, curing them on servers hand-selected by clones of Bill Gates created on a planet whose location is kept secret by a group of NASA scientists larger than the one keeping the truth about the shape of the Earth under wraps but sometimes (just sometimes) if fans get together with deranged hobos, anti-vaxxers, and whoever else they find at a MAGA rally they can storm CBS headquarters and DEMAND that a DVD of just the Meanwhile intros be produced for sale out of a van in every back alley on the continent!!

[@rosemdhar4767]

@@AnnoyingMoose Perfection 🔥👌

[@MaggotDiggo1]

I skip every meanwhile intro. They're terrible.

[@anthonynordone1323]

“Dr. Acula”. Was that a shout out to Scrubs?? I love that show.

[@mstbeta]

Or maybe Mitch Hedburg?

[@dvergar1]

@@mstbeta Yup, stolen from Mitch H

[@dimeen]

Did mitch do it before scrubs? Scrubs must have been 20 years ago

[@anthonynordone1323]

Ok I looked it up. Mitch hedburg used it in his show “Mitch all together” in 2003 and the scrubs episode was from 2006 so it is possible that the writers of scrubs were inspired by him.

[@gregbors8364]

@@anthonynordone1323 You mean, they stole the joke

[@timbeaton5045]

Wow... Winston Churchill was really ahead of the game when he used the phrase :- "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat," LIttle did they know it at the time, but he was anticipating the colonisation of Mars!

[@ericminch]

He forgot "urine". Not sure that would have gone over well during British wartime radio.

[@pattynayyar3183]

T

[@wrongturnVfor]

The colonisation of mars will still spill less blood

[@alkaline_sine]

Nice Mitch Hedberg throwback with the Dr. Acula joke :)

[@napoleonibonaparte7198]

Evie has to get an Emmy.

[@beanosity]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - a cartoonist or animator needs to draw a side by side of the meanwhile intros.

[@anaos1004]

This segment keeps getting better and better.

[@lisajean228]

That aubergine jacket Jon has on is stunning

[@thelyrebird1310]

I've read the books 58 times since I was 13yo ... bring it on

[@aegresen]

I read it every year, that's from 2003 to now. As soon as I've got enough money, I'm moving right next to that pastry chef.

[@pholliez]

@@aegresen same! See you there.

[@thelyrebird1310]

@@aegresen mine is a yearly event starting with the silmarilion and the hobbit through to the LOTR. Started when I was 13 and by 25 I had caught up with my age so now it's annual. And Don't get me started on the movie, there's a certain director still on my hit list.

[@JasonRennie]

"debloodinator" omg, too funny!

[@coder0xff]

Whoever comes up with the meanwhile intros (the lantern festival part) is genius.

[@solelyforhermitcraftvii9005]

Someone as been seating on that "Dr.Acula" joke for years just to have the perfect moment to use it

[@paulelroy6650]

You mean ripping off mitch

[@reneenewman9115]

The sad part is I have his “sometimes, just sometimes” down to a tee!😂

[@danacronise4128]

Dr. Acula is my favorite joke of the year! I laughed perhaps a little harder than necessary 🤣🤣

[@dvergar1]

And stolen from Mitch Hedberg

[@josephlongfellow1244]

But did Steven Colbert eventually realize that John Batiste said "bro time" not "old time"?

[@miguelurdaci7884]

He kinda carries on with his own narrative when speaking to John. Painful to watch sometimes.

[@robertalexanderquinn9044]

@@miguelurdaci7884 true

[@SimoraCheeks1]

Ok, that Meanwhile Intro got me. SO good!

[@RamonaRayTodosSantosBCS]

Jon always manages to make me smile!

[@douglasblowe805]

Your lead up to MEANWHILE IS ALWAYS THE BEST LOL

[@hankakah4180]

Stephen missed an opportunity to comment on the Martian segment about using blood; At least the buildings will blend in with the atmosphere! As if Mars wasn't red enough!

[@jarls5890]

And here we thought the storyline of the Doom games were fiction...

[@Filzkiiz]

YesSiRr!! Love a good Meanwhile.... Haha!!

[@billbo2813]

The meanwhile joke NEVERRRRRRRRRRRR gets old. At this point I need it

[@focusedeye]

Great writing, delivery and production value as per usual.

[@natiliee.s.5476]

2:50 I'm pretty sure I just scared my neighbors to death from laughing so loud😆😂

[@typerexc]

The towel joke at the end reminds me of a Simpson's episode where Homer wondered (something like) why you ever had to wash bath towels, since you were clean when you used them.

[@piggnant]

I love the rupturous applause and howls of approval whenever the booming MEANWHILE vfx comes on. Anti-depressant indeed

[@MrChupacabra555]

"Dr. Acula".....why have I never seen that joke until now? ^_^

[@thepopeofatheism]

It's a 20+ year old Mitch Hedberg joke.

[@MrChupacabra555]

@@thepopeofatheism Perhaps, but I seriously never heard it until this clip ^_^

[@seanhopkins8412]

Mitch still killing it!

[@FollowTheLion01]

The machine obviously should have been called the exsanguinator and the guy should have said: "It really gets your blood pumping!"

[@FollowTheLion01]

It could be done with a Dracula accent. With a slow "ha-ha-ha" and a "You get zhee joke later" at then end.

[@FollowTheLion01]

Dracula accent: "Velcome to Mars. Please to hang spacesuit here, zhen proceed to zhe shower. Vee don't vont you smelling like zhe spacesuit you've been wearing all zees months, do we? [Licks lips]), And then step onto this excersize machine here. Vhat?, you think it looks funny? Exercise in microgravity is different, no? It's called zee exsanguinator. It really gets you're blood pumping! Hah, hah, hah. Oh, you get zee joke later." 🦇🧛‍♂️

[@vsrump]

The only reason i listen is for the beautifully composed intro !!! So fabulously written

[@azharsyarawi]

He’s on a roll!!🤣

[@eveFlower101]

Dr. Acula 🤣🤣🤣 simple, yet genius.

[@JdubU]

ThX 4 the Dr.Acula

[@NirjhorKabir]

Most laugh I had in days. Thank you.

[@ttango2653]

OH meanwhile LOTR...gets me every time

[@tim4shot]

The best and the funniest meanwhile ever on this show!! I officially start my own personal rating…

[@thesinaclwon]

🤣 Dr. Acula I’m fucking dead 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@Doctorwho1094]

I can’t be the only one. But whenever Stephen pretends to lick things on the meanwhile screen it does something to me 😳😂

[@rex-racer]

*CORRECTION* (which Stephen absolutely knows): Tolkien is pronounced _towl-keen._

[@justhearmeout3959]

This is not Seth Meyers pal 🤣

[@rex-racer]

@@justhearmeout3959 I know, I know. I couldn’t help myself (and he should know better on this one particularly)!

[@pauldzim]

It's pronounced towel-keen? I didn't know that!

[@rex-racer]

@@pauldzim Crazy, right? It’s more like toll-keen, but google pronunciation spells it “towl.” The surprising part is the “keen.”

[@ShermThursby]

Thanks, now I learned something new today.

[@moonstruck-swede]

Dr. Acula LMFAO 😂

[@Jeff-wn5sv]

Six minute video, and nearly a minute of it is just the segment introduction. Perfection.

[@skinwalker3953]

Don't be calling me out like that! ~Dr. Acula

[@yunaayame]

I love this Lord of the Rings bits! Woooo!

[@DracoMagnius]

Wow literally building with blood sweat and tears.

[@cw9748]

The opening to "meanwhile" never disappoints

[@eshnajizzle]

Colonizing Mars through blood, sweat, and tears. Sound about right. 👍

[@whitman911]

Stephen, you're amazing.

[@tfcooks]

So colonizing Mars will take "Blood, Sweat & Tears"? "You've Made Me So, Very Happy." 😁

[@cheshirecat6518]

Wow! The writer really tried to tongue tie Colbert on that Meanwhile opening! So creative!😄

[@toaztelg]

kudos to the writers!

[@dvergar1]

You mean thieves

[@MHeymann]

Dr. Acula 😂😂😂

[@daddymuggle]

I ❤️ Blood Sweat Urine & Tears. Great band, great songs.

[@BartvG88]

Psssh. They stink!

[@TheReal008Zulu]

I wanted to build my own Lord of The Rings style dwelling, but there are no active volcanoes in Australia.

[@ingridgrattidge5637]

You’re so consistently funny. Love you. Thank you! 💕🌻

[@ironfae]

Mom- “Do you want to grow up to be an astronaut?” Kid- “No, that job SUCKS!” 😂😂😂

[@elishmuel1976]

4:32 watching this at 7:30am having a coffee and almost spilled it from the convulsing laughter!

[@JohnFern666]

Congrats on the Emmys guys

[@humane143imperfection6]

This sounds like the plot for the next Moon with Sam Rockwell 😆. Great movie btw

[@BuildinWings]

"Dr. Acula": An oldie but a goodie.

[@UnderaRockGaming]

I love a good Mitch Hedberg joke.

[@lypscratch]

OMG! When you think the Meanwhile intro can't get any better, this!

[@ladydeerheart1]

Dr. Acula ... Perfect!

[@TheInkPitOx]

Whoever writes the leadups to Meanwhile needs a raise

[@David_Last_Name]

Wash...........towels? Huh. **writes that down** Interesting idea.

[@nedim_guitar]

Dr. Acula! I remember that from Scrubs! 😄

[@dvergar1]

It was stolen, twice now, from Mitch Hedberg

[@nedim_guitar]

@@dvergar1 I figured that Scrubs weren't the first. 😁

[@elizabethhalkett]

Sorry, "he has a wife" from one of the biggest Tolkien nerds with one of the most amazing wife's? Not buying the joke. :P

[@SpSot]

I think the difference is that Colbert hasn't attempted to build a Hobbit village. Well, at least for now.

[@saint6563]

Not surprised the gray caterpillar is gone; especially after the Martin & Martin segment. hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha

[@haywardbomaye52]

Shout out Doc Acula 😂😂😂😂😂

[@neerajamb]

Literal buildings of sweat, blood and tears!?!? 😆

[@204776439]

I love 'Meanwhile' but is it just me or is the best part of it the way he introduces it - ?

[@BrendadirkCramplescrunch]

great crowd for this night's show!

[@dibyaranasaharoy2196]

So, literally blood, sweat and years would go into colonising Mars!?! 😂😂😂