Meeting Your Soul Mate on Yelp - Matty Ryan

Matty Ryan recalls yawning at the same time someone next to him sneezed, how he met his soulmate on Yelp and makes his case for why greyhounds are basically aliens. (Contains strong language.)
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[@TheSanarossOne]

that sneeze joke in a post-covid world hits differently and it is even more hilarious when he refers to a plague starting.

[@colinhaney]

no its the same

[@Lovereignsupreme]

My thoughts exactly.

[@DNGx3]

Lol that’s why you cover your mouth for both instances

[@Winteramen]

wow...that whale eye thing...really makes you think.

[@galinstaykov5553]

It really doesn't make you think. It didn't make him think either. He thought that this might be a silly joke; and it was a silly joke. And because it was just a joke and doesn't really make you think, it took only 4 seconds and then it was like it never happened.

[@Winteramen]

@@galinstaykov5553 well, it got me thinking i have never seen whales' eyes in real life. How big is it really? Is it bigger than me? And also, with the proportion of the whale and its eyes, it also got me thinking how the whale perceives its surroundings. Like, do they have two sets of vision because they're so wildly far apart? If it is all one vision, then how does the conscious perception relate to each other relative to their distance from each other. You know, just got me thinking, that's all.

[@gas-stationmilk7259]

Galin Staykov it’s just a joke don’t got explain it

[@Th3CoLoSSuS]

@@Winteramen you could ask that for any bird. they dont focus their sight on one thing as much, like predators do, they see close to 360 but cant focus on a thing as good as we do for example

[@JAVONEETHEMOMMY]

mountain boy thoughts I have while high 😂

[@callmechull]

I honestly don’t know how he moved on so easily from the yawn-sneeze nightmare. I kept expecting him to stop halfway through another joke to go back to it. “Am I the only one... WHO WASNT ABLE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THE SNEEZE IN MY MOUTH”

[@jocomfiresin6982]

I've had someone sneeze directly onto my face before.

[@terrycrews1760]

Not as bad as in your mouth

[@jocomfiresin6982]

@@terrycrews1760 Worse... It gets into the mouth and everywhere else.

[@dukewheeler7846]

This man looks like a handsome version of TJ Miller

[@nobodynothoughts]

He looked like Jensen Ackles in the thumbnail.

[@prosocial_lad]

It’s true. Good eyes

[@caitlynford3001]

Riiiiight

[@75hilmar]

LOOOOL

[@simianfinance7313]

That was my first thought at the thumbnail lol

[@wrkr]

41 dislikes are from aliens who forgot their pet greyhounds on Earth.

[@Joe-pm8de]

Hahaha

[@maii.8338]

"They look like they have to be refrigerated" Dead 😂

[@هدىهدى-ش7د]

Howie Mandel's worst nightmare 😂 😂 😂

[@phasm42]

The way he says "only bones?" 😅

[@nothingtoseehere177]

I'm getting BONED up over here hahaha

[@maureenmcgann5968]

absolutely hysterical....congrats, Comedy Central, on getting this guy!

[@blahblahblah118]

The way he said "only bones" slayed me.

[@db5823]

Hilarious. Great humor and insight/observational stuff. Quality.

[@jaydeegreat88]

This man looks like both his first and last name

[@r.s.mendoza8085]

I yawned someone's fart in a classroom. 😭

[@pixelatedpickle2561]

RSM there’s so many pieces to this statement I can’t even begin to understand

[@Tasha1284]

Greyhounds look like Mr Burns to me..

[@JAVONEETHEMOMMY]

Tasha1284 yup 😂😂😂

[@vadaski5038]

Drop the snap

[@davidfoster5561]

This guy is fuckin hilarious and I hope he makes it real big.

[@ShadGotEm]

Can it be as fast as a cheetah lol.

[@itstatilol4392]

“Like they look like they have to be refrigerated” *wtffff* 😆

[@bobbycratchet3958]

I finally saw what Prince Harry does during his off hours. Superman has his glasses and Prince Harry has his pomade.

[@igwesdaughter9304]

1 minute in, and now I can't stop seeing Prince Harry fresh out of the shower through this guy's set. Lol

[@bdancepants5003]

😭

[@caitlynford3001]

Y’all ginger racists thinkin we all look the same

[@jahfaricoumarbatch3947]

@@caitlynford3001 I think its hairist or hair colorist 🤣

[@alexlarkins4218]

Thats a well crafted joke. Well done sir!!

[@rgb3376]

Why does he look like he belongs on the pictures at Target?

[@thegoodgodabove8264]

A blue whales eyes are about the size of a baseball, ours are about the size of a cherry for body to eye comparison

[@2ndmoon]

“They look like they have to be refrigerated” 😂😂😂

[@Nik-ff3tu]

I yawned in one of those timed air fresheners they have at store bathrooms. don't know why they set it right at your face height....

[@topshotta8856]

The F***king worst taste ever 😂

[@MelakuOfficial]

Laughing so hard I'm coughing 😂😂😂

[@RayrayFeelus]

"We've done all we can, it's in the Lords hands now" I think I may employ that all the time

[@ATXCde]

I love that you put this bombfest up thank you

[@arpeggioblue]

0:55 either aged horribly or perfectly and I can’t decide.

[@okkai]

He murdered that set

[@nomy_]

Bro I needed more....

[@zlaynie]

You are the riiiightest about greyhounds. Onpoint

[@DylanOfSicily]

That... was... amazing

[@Ninjamohawk]

I sliced my fingers to ribbons when I put our new window ac in. Looked like sliced ham.

[@anony1596]

The impression of the sneeze has me in tears

[@JuaniqueVerde]

A lot funnier than I thought he’d be! Oh man! That subway joke 🤢🥴🤮 and THIS is why you always gotta cover your mouth when you yawn! 😵‍💫 the greyhound jokes were funny too!! Also, I’m a Yelper & we aren’t all bad. 😇

[@nicolavisser3676]

Covid could never 😂😂😂

[@soupy1018]

That’s my cousin ladies and gentleman!!!

[@bdancepants5003]

Really ? Hes FUNNY

[@boyfromzambia]

Thank you for talking to me directly. No other man can comment on this.

[@reljasaurus]

i have a distinct hunch 133 yelpers watched this

[@ladanweheliye5688]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 now all I’m going to think of is whales eyes for the rest of the week

[@grindcoremaniac]

I feel exactly the same way about greyhounds.

[@edwood482]

Pointy bois are my favorite

[@dhrousseau]

the plague joke feels different now...

[@Bundtzy]

tj miller really thinned down

[@karaakles2243]

I would die.

[@brothermichael8338]

TJ Miller + Daniel Tosh = This guy

[@aconvowithcrissee222]

hes AWESOME

[@Illumirage]

that ac unit bit was great....not that the rest of it wasn't...but that part especially

[@westsidetinywinos644]

Damien INSANE-O that’s because it’s more of his life and not just written jokes people like you don’t understand comedy you only understand tv comedy which is scripted

[@Illumirage]

@@westsidetinywinos644 _"that’s because it’s more of his life and not just written jokes"_ Probably yeah. _"people like you"_ Who are people like me? _"don’t understand comedy you only understand tv comedy which is scripted"_ I don't even own a TV. But thanks for making all sorts of assumptions you miserable, arrogant fuckwit. Get the fuck out.

[@greenkorn69]

@@westsidetinywinos644 😂 what the fuck are you even doing here? "YoU LiKE DaT pArT CauSe iTs AbOuT hIs LiFe. YoU DoNT KnOw cOmEdY" you sound inbred as fuck. You realize he wrote that joke right? Even if it is based in reality, he still wrote it, they all write their jokes down and test them out until their perfect.

[@greenkorn69]

@@westsidetinywinos644 people like you don't know comedy.

[@westsidetinywinos644]

The Count I’m sorry but did I ask for a bitch to speak ?

[@phillupjohnson7902]

He is funny

[@KatyyyB]

First time seeing this guy.. soooo funny 😂

[@kylewilson8391]

The first part of this video hits hard now that coronavirus is a thing

[@mburtondavis]

I feel the same way about greyhounds.

[@toripiwnicki9046]

I seriously was just dying laughing

[@michaelminhinnick]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐... on Yelp!

[@lunafrankenstein2566]

I've been to an elite yelpers meeting. 😂 I was so lonely.

[@susanweisheit68]

Just discovering this guy! He’s great!

[@zackthehack2849]

I went to pet my neighbors grey hound once and immediately cringed at the way it felt.

[@Impossibly-Possible]

My face hurts I laughed so hard

[@BlenderisedMind]

This guy is so legit!!!

[@VianneyCreates]

This guy is funny.

[@giustobuffo]

A greyhound is just an italic Labrador.

[@notflanders4967]

crazy relevant that today I was just telling my coworkers that I like all dogs but poodles or any variation of it. Then thought it was ironic that Matty has curly hair also

[@rhonnythetypicalwhiteboy]

I specifically liked this because his hair is nice. I laughed, He is funny but, the like was SPECIFICALLY for his hair

[@vvill-ga]

Sounds like you've got your immune system, feeling like your immune system... That's Vaev for the uncultured... Greatest video from CC

[@dei6470]

Someone should tell this guy about Borzoi’s... they are like furry greyhounds.

[@The_pensive_Truth_seeker]

He's hilarious !!!!!

[@jcut8390]

this was like soo much funnies in a one funny place from one funny guy funnny

[@rockyrockyroad]

are you having a stroke

[@laurendukes3099]

I'll find more of his stand-up

[@maggiehughesdepalo]

Hellllyeaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Absolutely hilarious.

[@ekdaufin1485]

Take the 90 lb thing! 🤣. It’s in the Lord’s hands now!

[@jalendanie5399]

I like just did this as the video popped up 😂

[@三长两短]

Very funny!

[@Lovereignsupreme]

Greyhounds are the sweetest. I am reporting him to yelp.

[@KatyyyB]

Hahahahahaha

[@jojolewis831]

My older brother used sneek up me eating an Apple, sneeze mouthfull Bad breath apple sauce on my face.

[@MavidG]

I used to sneak up behind my friend and blow hot breath in his ear as I moan hard like I just thrusted myself deep inside him. It's hella funny how mad he gets. 🤘

[@dustinhargrove2129]

My brother would chew loudly with his mouth open, apples & chips. It’s the worst

[@fattdamon1980]

@@MavidG they get so mad when you actually thrust deep inside but with no breath or moan, it's hilarious.

[@MavidG]

baphomets sensitive side I'll take your word for it dude.

[@MuffinCapBackBlue]

@@fattdamon1980 Why are you gay?

[@maddietwiener]

The best!!!

[@AtilioEscobar]

Bro! You are on fire!

[@susiekbryan]

Hahaha! Whale eye size!

[@chacecampbell2697]

Omg this guy is hilarious

[@Kali_Yugahhhh]

Veryyyy funny 😂💗🤙

[@elizabethmurry4429]

He was funny!

[@mnemonichotpocket]

New fav bit......I hate greyhounds too

[@dugongsdoitbetter]

That is EXACTLY how I feel about Yelpers!!!! They go through life acting as if their father loved their stepsister more than he loved them so in turn they give shitty reviews to everyone!!! I also have a theory that they are same type of person who would be president of H.O.A !! Miserable people!!

[@caitlynford3001]

*ONLY BONES*

[@shinebabyshine.]

I agree with everything he said lmao

[@jessytallent8585]

This is how covid started xDD this bit aged way too well when he mentioned the sneeze yawn I tended up and had to check the date of the video xDD

[@keepitfashion]

Only Bones!

[@anewbugmusic]

Lol

[@vonjones6299]

He looks so funny he had me dying the whole time. 😭

[@emilyk1502]

Came here for the yelp, stayed for the greyhound bashing.

[@marialiyungu6108]

He predicted the plague

[@eschneider317]

Did anyone else immediately yawn when he started talking about it?

[@cl759]

6:53

[@HisashiBuri8]

Matt/Ryan from SuperMega?

[@jadonshaftic7694]

Brought to mind Mekki Leeper's veav project

[@annehartmann9505]

i want him to be president

[@user-pu5ri7up5b]

Instant covid -19 thoughts

[@legendarydudearoundtheway8712]

MATTY ICE!!!... oh wait...

[@samatronhi8259]

exactly what i thought

[@legendarydudearoundtheway8712]

samatron hi lol

[@wuftchan8299]

its basically a bat it uses its echo location XD

[@-HRH]

An amazing discovery! This ginger ni**a's gonna go far. 👏👍

[@-HRH]

@Jeff B Hahaha

[@Joey_Star_]

Is that matt ryan from supermega?

[@eighteennakedcowboys]

I almost ended the video early...glad I got to the end, those last bits had me cracking up