Men, Find a Woman with THIS Quality (Carrie Gress)

[@TommyRushing]

We keep saying, "Look for these traits in women." Would like to here people saying, "Women, cultivate these properties."

[@rtyria]

If there's a video out there making solid recommendations to young men about what to look for in women, you can bet there are women watching it for pointers.

[@no1ofconsequence936]

I hope that's down to "we're in the area primarily talking to men" not something else. I hope when women watch these, some of them are taking notes for areas of self-improvement. We're all winners when we do our best.

[@andrear4954]

​@@no1ofconsequence936woman here! Can confirm many of us (if not all) click on these to see if theres anything we need to work on 😅 and yes I think its the "we are in the area talking to men" thing too

[@abilea4081]

Well if you're telling women to do it to gain interest of men, it's not genuine. If she cultivates these traits genuinely she'd do it either by watching videos titled like this to see what a male perspective is because she cares and isn't just doing it because a video told her to or by just generally searching for how to gain feminine attributes.

[@fujikokun]

I got married less than a year ago, at the age of 39!!, my husband and I met on Twitter and did a long distance thing before I moved to be with him. And we’re old and broke so things aren’t remotely ideal but I am pregnant and hopefully we’ll be able to carve out a good life together even though it’s late. But I honestly feel so lucky because I look at the dating climate today and think it seems so hopeless. I would say that if I could give any advice to people, it’s that we are in strange times, and you should be prepared to put in far more time, effort, and resources into finding and keeping that special person than seems reasonable or normal for what you expected previously. It is absolutely worth it in the end, but marriage and kids is not a given anymore, not by a long shot, so approach it with that mindset.

[@Lma832]

Congratulations! Thanks for your encouraging words.

[@outoforbit00]

Exactly💯. See my other comment I left on this vid.

[@Veo87]

It's kind of refreshing to see this advice because so many Christians nowadays like to say you will only find someone when you're NOT trying to find someone. I, unfortunately, know through experience that's not necessarily true.

[@tomek5019]

It is quite simple for any Catholic man. The girl has to: be a faithful Catholic or already preparing to be a Catholic, will not want to cohabitate and be celibate until the wedding night, is willing to have as many children as God wants her to have, is willing to give up her career for the greatest career in the history of mankind, i.e. motherhood, is able to take care of a household, meaning she is not lazy, and is she humble and honest from the beginning with you. The same is true for what the right guy should be for a Catholic girl except that instead of motherhood and taking care of a household: is he able to dedicate himself completely to his wife and children by working hard at work to bring enough money to sustain the family and at home to help his wife in raising their kids. All the other stuff is fluff.

[@michaelanthony4750]

pretty much

[@josephcillojr.7035]

You ain’t finding this gal in the United States. And, if you do, you won’t be good enough for her. Or, bad enough. Lol…

[@MD-S282]

Exactly, this lady completely can’t string any thoughts together herself, let alone virtuous behaviours to cultivate.

[@outoforbit00]

Yeah, you know what though, a couple can learn good things of each other and grow together. If you want it all before you put any effort in, then your selfish.

[@josephcillojr.7035]

@@outoforbit00 Expecting a woman to want to be a wife and mother, and to be chaste, is not selfish. But, unfortunately, for American women, it is too much to ask…

[@PArtemisH]

"Can she read a book"? I would classify that as a want, not a need. Most of the saints at any parish are simple women who gave their lives to their families. I would happily take 100 more of those in my parish. Aside from being kind to children, which truly is a need, there is a loss of institutional knowledge of being a good wife. The current mode, post feminism, is that we still can name all the obligations that men have in marriage, but we collectively struggle to do the same for women. Thus, it is essential to vet a woman to see if she understands what her traditional responsibilities toward her husband are.

[@HoradrimBR]

I think this point goes counter the smartphone addiction and the destruction of attention span of people. Being able to read a book signals the woman wasn't break by this.

[@patriciag6030]

Honestly, I think it’s the other way around. Most women understand their responsibilities are to love their husband, cook, clean, raise children etc. What makes it difficult in the modern world is that most women also work outside the home so they end up resentful taking on the burden of household chores and childrearing. I think it’s men who struggle to understand what their role is in the modern marriage.

[@PArtemisH]

@ Seems to me cell phone addiction is extremely easy to identify. Not sure if we need a proxy criterion like "able to read a book" to discover it.

[@rtyria]

@@HoradrimBR Being well read means an individual will be a better conversationalist and tend to be more thoughtful and more knowledgeable. This is more true if the books they read are the classics, but something is better than nothing. People who do not read and get all of their entertainment from visual media (tv, movies, videos, gaming) are much less likely to be analytical, or contemplative and much more likely to follow whatever trend without much thought beyond what's popular. They're also more likely to have mush for brains, but that's my prejudiced opinion.

[@HoradrimBR]

@ of course being an avid reader can be good, but if the person was living focused on their duties and had other activities outside the eletronic midia that are related to their hands working - such as gardening, baking, etc - that could be 100% fine. Not everydoby must be an intellectual and that's ok.

[@drell3813]

I went on a date 7 years ago and the girl's entire personality was that she worked for her parents' pub and she watched Friends all the time. That was it. She had a dog and couldn't even find anything interesting or funny to say about that.

[@Lma832]

Keep in mind you went on one date with her, maybe you didn't get a great first impression, but you don't know her. This comment is gossipy and judgy. It's totally fine that you weren't interested, your reasons are valid, but coming on here and telling people about it rubs me the wrong way

[@drell3813]

​@@Lma832 Does that mean the video is gossipy and judgy talking about someone else's date. I just shared an experience I had and not even the whole experience, just what was relevant to the conversation in the video. We met online and she wasn't chatty then either but I figured maybe she was just shy. Nope, turns out there was nothing to her. And then when we were messaging afterwards and decided not to go on a second date she tried to blame me... and yes, I had considered maybe I did something wrong. No, I didn't. And finally, pointing out a flaw in someone isn't necessarily judgemental. Don't be so self-righteous and quick to pass judgement yourself.

[@drell3813]

@ And now you've edited your comment instead of replying which makes my reply look like a massive overreaction. Which rubs me the wrong way.

[@Lma832]

@@drell3813 I edited it before you even replied

[@drell3813]

@ No worries, it's all good. I just didn't think the original reply was necessary and it annoyed me is all. Don't worry about it, no point wasting time on this.

[@truecatholic1]

Virginity is best, but a commitment to chastity is second best. Modesty is non-negotiable. See the Mary Like Modesty Standard. The best exposition is in the book "My Life in Prayer Book" 1998. Obviously, it is important to men that they provide for their own children. St. Thomas Aquinas wrote about this. It is called paternal certainty.

[@jimmyboeingbeep]

How about looking for a woman (or a man) that is familiar with C.S. Lewis and loves the movie “The Princess Bride”? That would reveal so much…

[@debbiegraham5585]

Thank you, Matt

[@matthewgaulke8094]

I love this question. I've been asking it the past couple years since cleaning up my life. All this time I assume most my problems were me but now that I've got my head on straight I'm confused where all the interesting women are. I can barely even get one to make eye contact with me.

[@badguymonologue]

@@matthewgaulke8094 Pray to God to bring you and your future wife together, brother 💜

[@BM-kl3ii]

According to this, I’m a prime catch! Finally found a practicing Catholic man, only to find out over a year later he sold me a bag of narcissistic goods. Where are all the good Catholic men? Do they even exist?

[@wishIwuzskiing]

Regarding the conversation of this other couple, what is interesting is that, with their mutual medical backgrounds, they likely could talk for hours about that world, but to talk about life and purpose, suddenly there is a derth of accumulated thought, which is the MOST important of all.

[@nathislda]

But you are being very hard on this girl. If it was her first date... man it is hard to show vulnerability and depth so fast ! Maybe within catholics knowing the other is catholic... but in the secular world it is difficult.

[@outoforbit00]

As a catholic I completely agree with you. Talk about a lack of prudence and making oneself vulnerable. Seriously I can't believe these two would ask so much on just meeting someone.

[@Veo87]

True. It's hard to open up to a person on a first date, especially if it was a blind date.

[@zsedcftglkjh]

Women have options, men don't.

[@TruePT]

Fax

[@juandiegosotorojas6412]

Love the video. Tyvm for continuing to do this podcast. Just a piece of advice. Idk what you did with the camera but it makes you feel the 2 of you like far away from the audience and it's just a little bit no cinematography Sorry idk how to explain it LOL God Bless you Matt Greetings from Costa Rica

[@naturevideos.8802]

Finding a Godly spouse in today's dating landscape is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

[@GeorgeFloyd2023]

What was once highly desirable becomes a red-hot stove after age 19. Tainted Love. Run Don't Walk Away.

[@GeorgeFloyd2023]

The slovenly and gross Donny in Ghost Story (1981): "Look, David ... I don't envy you your caretaker."

[@sweetsarah27]

I usually love everything Dr Gress has to say, but honestly, I'm just not a reader 🤷 I listen to audiobooks but sitting down to read has never been easy for me. My husband can devour many books in a short time. But I have a deep faith, strong morals, a sense of humor, and many other things that I believe my husband values in me. We have a wonderful marriage. For all men out there, don't make "can she read a book" your dealbreaker! You may miss out on a very wonderful woman.

[@silvybotha]

@@sweetsarah27 As a reader, this one was odd to me too. My husband doesn’t read books but he’s more intellectually and emotionally intelligent than 98% of people I know, with a strong moral compass. And also the jab at fiction vs non fiction readers. I read both but WHAT! Some of the best emotional growth I’ve had was from reading high quality fiction books. Stories are so important for people.

[@sweetsarah27]

@silvybotha Oh agreed! Even good stories in movie/theater form can make big impacts on a person's growth and outlook! Thanks for sharing your perspective!

[@sassychimpanzee7431]

​@@silvybothafiction books are very important. Fiction books can teach us many things, often about morality. There's a reason that the classics are so valuable

[@outoforbit00]

I agree with you completely.

[@silvybotha]

@@sweetsarah27 Yeah it’s not a one is more superior. They both have different functions. Fiction is great for increasing empathy and creativity, and non fiction is great for building logic and memory. And then it comes down to personality.

[@Brochacho619]

Word salad??

[@GeorgeFloyd2023]

Feminism only serves the "immune" 1%?

[@nbr8425]

Try to get Vice President Vance on the show!

[@sunshine-nq8dw]

@@nbr8425 YES!!

[@michaelanthony4750]

There are tons of great women out there who don't like reading. I think it actually boils down to: -Does she practice her faith? -Is she willing to fulfill the role of a woman and stay at home to raise the kids? If yes, great. If not, ditch her.

[@jmfrmf5342]

I can’t believe there are still comments like this. Matt Fradd you need to have better content than this. Over 42 years ago when engaged, I was asked if I would stay home to raise a family. I said no. I went to college for a reason. I love learning and I also want to be able to support my family if something happened to my husband. We have since raised 2 girls with college degrees who married wonderful catholic men. See how well they treat you, how they talk about their mother, how hard they work and how much they drink. The analogy of the girl on a first date was poor. Please Matt, do better.

[@PickleNoojariBFC]

@@jmfrmf5342 Thank God for saying this. As a Catholic male, it's so annoying seeing the number of people who still require women to just stay at home completely ignoring the changing economic landscapes, dynamics etc.

[@thatwifeofhis7815]

I didn't care much about kids until I had one. And I've been a perfect wife for 20 years.😅 😆😁

[@TruePT]

As another commenter put it, women have options men don’t.

[@KarolinaHajnos]

Can this questions now be flipped towards the guys? I haven’t watched the whole interview so I’m just basing it off of this clip.