Midweek with Dr. C- The Narcissist Wants To Sabotage My Healthy Initiatives

[@ST-ff1zd]

They want No Peace for those they view as underlings.

[@amarbyrd2520]

Since we are nobody's "underlings" here in the real world 🌎 on Earth One, it's up to is to find / take our peace

[@aliceroberts1980]

Yep and they no what they’re doing too . My narcissistic husband gave a sweat shirt to my daughter that day don’t let anyone destroy your peace !! So they enjoy making you miserable

[@schizorap]

Underlings is exactly the right word

[@doglover9344]

My family of origin gang stalked me for years. I was finally able to move 1,000 miles away 30 years ago and was able to support myself. They still tried to pull me in. I removed myself from the dysfunctional. Best decision I ever made! ❤

[@dubaiedge]

This is the way 👏

[@HollieSmithHappyHobbies]

It's very difficult to deal with a terminally ill narcissist. My husband passed away a year ago from colon cancer. It was difficult for me because the attention he got from the cancer fed his narcissistic attitude. We made some peace in the end, but it was a relief when he finally passed.

[@caroleminke6116]

So sorry ❤ my father as well & it took too long… I thought it would kill me first!

[@nicholecornes1915]

Omg! Girl that would be terrific

[@HollieSmithHappyHobbies]

@@caroleminke6116 be strong.

[@malwads1836]

The likely narc neighbor of mine got hauled off in a 🚑 days ago.She went on & on about what a great person she supposedly was as a parent a few years ago but it turns out she got hauled off in that 🚑 because she's actually a hardcore alcoholic & her health was already trashed from a stroke & type 2 Diabetes by her upper 40's🙄.She's heavily covert acting...the sugar-coated 🐀 poison vibe as I call it.I'm honestly relieved she's been gone,it's been way more peaceful around here without her lurking around.I know it may sound a bit harsh to some but...I 💭 it's worth celebrating whenever a narc finally croaks because they can't harm anyone anymore🙂.I know my mom & I will be celebrating with a 🎂 whenever my sociopathic narc father finally drops🤭.I hope you've been enjoying your peace thoroughly & that your holidays will be filled with warmth😊👍🏻👍🏻🎁.

[@nicholecornes1915]

​@@caroleminke6116😢 I hate that there's so many of us! I want to hugg you all!

[@jasmineflower9879]

What a surprise the narcissistic parent gets when they they see their grown up children loving & enjoying the other, empathic parent , but avoiding the narc parent. Its like a Report Card for them !

[@HollieSmithHappyHobbies]

Not really. If they are really narcissistic, they will usually just blame it on something else or say it's the child's doing. Most will never really admit to themselves it was their fault. Most narcissistic behavior comes from victim mentality. It's never their fault.

[@zorannedeljkovic4346]

My narc mother passed away she told me on her death bed that she always loved me and wanted the best for me, unfortunately it was love on her terms only, it took a while to accept her the way she was.

[@snowbear1877]

Same with my parents. Every thing on their terms.

[@HollieSmithHappyHobbies]

I'm sorry you had to experience that. Keep working on healing.

[@familychromebook1852]

Thank you, Dr. Carter. This channel is a lifeline. I actually have a new life, I'm building it. Learning and practicing everyday. Thank you.

[@desireemfox]

Thank you for explaining why it is OK to not tolerate harassment about sex from my husband. He feels entitled to have sex after he has verbally attacked and berated me. I finally figured out he demands this because he wants sex to make him feel better about himself. Sex has nothing to do with me - it is all about him :(

[@HollieSmithHappyHobbies]

I'm so sorry. That must be awful. You are worth more. Be strong.

[@MT-tx7bu]

I know these relationships are so hurtful and harmful to us. We're all so worthy of feeling safe, secure and happy. The survivors tend to feel so guilty especially at this time of the year with all the holidays coming. I hope you all realize how important you are and that you TRULY deserve to heal and thrive. No matter what age you are.

[@well_weathered]

That is a beautiful message.

[@francesbernard2445]

Thanks for the encouragment.

[@mkuhnle3987]

You're gonna love this. My narc was born on Christmas eve, the youngest, child and only son of amwhat I now suspect to be a narcissistic ( and Italian) mother. She often gave the silent treatment even to her golden child who is by all accounts - his esoecially- the second coming of christ. Christmas is HIS day according to him. If I don't make a big deal like his family did? There is hell to pay. I pay the hell now, as I am so over it. There is residual guilt, though.

[@Beebzification]

This is what first tipped me off that something was wrong, my coworker narcissist was disgusted when I went on a diet to lose 20 pounds. She and I had a fling and sat next to each other, she seemed so bitter over ridiculous things and I was completely baffled.

[@susanbennetttellstales7998]

"Why am I always surprised when a narcissist does something narcissistic?" I have a journal filled with similar sentiment i.e. "I know I should not be surprised..." I guess it's about maintaining the faith.

[@kf4722]

Oh the Holidays! The controller in my family tried to coerce me into joining them for Thanksgiving even though I said I did not want to. That’s when the turkey stuffing hit the fan so to speak. It turns out many of my boundaries were trying to be stepped on but I did not let that happen. I would have probably gone along with that before I learned what I was dealing with. I did however go to my grandsons birthday party even though the big “Bombastic” Narc sister would be there. I wasn’t going to let her destroy that for me. I was ready to guard myself and sure enough she tried to bait me several times. I dodged her bullets. One was that she made sure to mention that she went to a holiday tree lighting with an ex of mine! Classic Narc behavior. I didn’t flinch ! I must say I’m learning and it is a lifelong learning process. I was practicing “Gray Rocking” big time. Thanks to Dr. C and other doctors and team healthy for helping me understand these types! It’s working for me. Distance is my new response when needed and I am not returning that toxic energy!

[@malwads1836]

Smart choice...Let the 🦃 stuffing,gravy,mashed potatoes, 🥧,& everything else hit the fan too!It's STILL a much better time than being on the same property as a narc😂🤣👍🏻👍🏻.

[@caroleminke6116]

You need to go no contact like I finally did after too many ruined holidays that I can now enjoy in peace & quiet

[@kf4722]

@@caroleminke6116 I didn’t go to Thanksgiving just for my grandsons birthday. She would love to ruin that for me and I refuse to let her steal that from me! I have been no contact with my sister otherwise. TY😊

[@michellehill718]

Excellent explanations for why some people gang stalk and gaslight others Dr. C.! Thank you very much again for another brilliant teaching video! 🕊

[@familyofmany4646]

Ugh. The part about being entitled to sex 😭 So true. It’s never enough. I had a miscarriage the day before his birthday and he still expected sex, was mad I wasn’t enthusiastic enough. I need out so bad. 😭

[@shannonluck5066]

That's very sad 😢 Poor you 🤗 Get out! ASAP 🎉 It just gets worse... Sending you ❤️

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That's just wrong on so many levels.

[@familyofmany4646]

@@shannonluck5066 Thank you 🙏❤️

[@caroleminke6116]

Yes you do!

[@Hatbox948]

My ex narc was this way too. If you didn't comply that gave him permission to seek it somewhere else.

[@mkuhnle3987]

I am surprised more often than I'd like to admit even when I KNOW deep down what I'm dealing with will never change. I tend to let my guard down and forget he's not normal, our "relationship " is not normal. When I do remember, my life is more manageable, and I'm happier. It's a vicious cycle when the gaslighting sucks me in. Ugh. Being on guard all the time is tiring.

[@jeankipper6954]

Dear Dr. C and Team Healthy community, Thank You. I am so grateful for this work and group. It perhaps is the nature of life, or maybe it's just me, to feel so alone. As if I'm the only reasonable person around. So much so that perhaps they ARE right, and somehow I really AM the messed up one. Except that does not compute, and I'm made excruciatingly miserable, which just does seem right. And now, here, I read and here SUCH comforting confirmation. Encouraged, to a far kinder way of being, of living. We are all so heavily impacted by our frankly narcissistic culture! Well, WE are impacting it back! Whew. Yay. Perhaps in doing this work, which at times is very, very difficult, we demonstrate a way of living that is not only of integrity, t can help lead to healing for our culture. Lord knows it needs it.

[@theresafowler9000]

Thank you Dr. Carter, for doing these sessions. I don’t usually make the live times, so I look forward to these recorded videos. It gives me a sense of peace along with all the information and insights when I hear others’ questions and your responses. It’s a feeling of knowing I’m not alone in all this and am grateful for you and others who share your care and experience with the world.☮

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

No you are not alone!

[@PeteTash32]

We are currently going through family court with a narcissistic family. They have all united in their hate towards us and have made everything very personal. From researching other channels about going to court with a narcissist, the general advice is not to specifically call them out, but instead to say things deliberately that will cause them to have a negative reaction in front of the judge. I would greatly appreciate any advice you can give on this subject. Love to Team Healthy, Dr C and Gus.

[@michellehill718]

The narcissists to Team Healthy: I am superior which means one of us is inferior and since it's not me... you get the picture! Team Healthy to the narcissists: Yep, we absolutely do. And, quite clearly too. ✅

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

And then we move on down the path. Thanks, Michelle.

[@michellehill718]

​@@SurvivingNarcissismIndeed, we do, Dr. C! ❤🙏✨

[@lauriediandrea715]

He will always win, I will always lose… Sadly our marriage has not been a team, but an individual sport..

[@scootosan]

Doc C, no need to excuse your needs like taking a drink etc... it feels like we are in the same room together ... season's greetings to you and yours.

[@angellollar1083]

God bless you all!!! I am so thankful for this channel❤❤❤

[@beths9006]

The part on sex resonated. Only took place when he wanted it to and was not interested in my satisfaction, only his own. Would be manipulative in trying to coerce me into acts I was not comfortable with and when I declined he would punish with the silent treatment.

[@diane19456]

My narc was never interested in my satisfaction either. Even refusing to stop when I said he was hurting me! I was not experienced so I put up with this forever until now! There is no sex and he is furious even though he has ED! Blames it on me! As always it is all my fault!

[@diane19456]

My narc was never interested in my satisfaction either. Even refusing to stop when I said he was hurting me! I was not experienced so I put up with this forever until now! There is no sex and he is furious even though he has ED! Blames it on me! As always it is all my fault!

[@hmmmhmmm2477]

My husband would point to his wrist and say bedroom 5 minutes... although it might be 5 hours but I bettr get ready and remain so. Part of the healing. I just said no...then a week later I did it to him. He had no idea how to respond. Now weare just roommates. I Love intimacy but not with a jackass.

[@cherylnathanodette]

So many people here seem to be rather unhappy due to hurtful people in their lives. No one deserves bs, thanks Dr. C you help many people with your wise words.

[@aaronkwolfe]

I led a men's discipleship and accountability group and was on a rotation to teach the adult Sunday school class we (my narcissistic, now ex wife and I) attended. We eventually moved, and began attending another (much smaller) church locally. There was no population to start a mens' group like I'd done before, and the adult Sunday school there was typically a video we'd watch, or a recorded audio tape from 20 years ago. So, I offered to lead an interactive Bible study in that adult group. It went very well, and many there seemed to appreciate the lessons and discussions. When that class ended, my wife went into overdrive to make sure I wouldn't be asked back. After the discard, I became unwanted, and was even told I wasn't welcome to volunteer for other activities. So, I left. I ended up across the street (in a bedroom-only rental by the week place) from a church I'd never heard of and would likely never have found, if I hadn't been forced out of the marital home by some legal manipulations. I was done with churchianity. But then .....

[@well_weathered]

I was going to say sorry she stole that from you, but she didn't in the end.

[@Greenawareness188]

@aaronkwolfe , please share more . I value your input .

[@aaronkwolfe]

@@Greenawareness188 I did a stream on my own channel (back at the turn of 2023) that I titled, "No Joke A Testimony." It's just shy of 13 minutes long, but it extends the story.

[@aaronkwolfe]

@@well_weathered I call it my Genesis 50:20 realization.

[@well_weathered]

@@aaronkwolfe I like that.

[@Alice-fr1ef]

This person must understand that they don't care about your feelings. They like to keep a person confused and off balance for sure. Just think if you give up an inch, they will then take a mile. You would never be able to do the same with them. With them there is no team work. It is all about them. Very good video Dr. Carter and great points too. Really gives me lots to think about for sure.

[@aliceroberts1980]

I love that how they think you would have sex with them after they were cruel. They like to force you to do something against your well not just sex anything like if you say no I’m not doing that. They like to browbeat you and torture you for a weekend or four days till you get to do what they want it’s funny because I never will. I have a really stubborn streak and once I say no I’m like no I’m not doing it no matter what I’m not doing it no amount of badgering or whining and complaining screaming guilt tripping that’s his favorite one and yelling just makes me more determined to say no

[@aaronkwolfe]

My (narcissistic ex) wife had a skill/talent when it came to, um, intimate relations. It was her way of love bombing. Her turn from covert brought about her accusations that I was only nice to “get some” but was otherwise a horrible person. So, I went from non-aggressive to disinterested. She freaked out. It hurried the discard process. I never feared Hoovering, because I no longer saw her as someone I’d even date, let alone marry (or restore a marriage). I think she realized this, too.

[@angelawade1445]

I need to be more like you.

[@lauriediandrea715]

My henarcs idea of foreplay was to trap me when I was in the shower for sex.. I felt violated & disgusted.. left me feeling empty & sad..

[@elainesmith5313]

Dr. C. When you spoke of narcissist facing a terminal illnes...my experience is they do not changeat all in fact they double down. They continue to hurt the people that love them until the End. Saddest situation I've ever been in!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Elaine, I know what you mean based on personal experience. It really is sad.

[@well_weathered]

Triangulation is so hard when you don't know exactly who the flying monkeys, enablers and the narcissist are. As I am going about trying to discover that I have come to think of writing it all out and putting it front of each of them separately and leaving it there. They would all get the same letter. They each know what they did so then they don't need to try to cover up their actions by blaming each other. I have a right to be known for who I actually am. I don't know if it matters whether I know how or who. Thoughts? In seeing the capacity in each of us to become the narcissist and seeing the spectrum you hope that people will learn and grow.

[@suelindsey2295]

He’s the cook and he constantly offering me treats

[@123raven4]

Can't we all just get along! Yeah and it just drives me crazy that we just can't!

[@snowbear1877]

When my father was dying I was told NOT tp tell anyone he had cancer. For my parents' generation that was something to be ashamed of. I think the loss of control was terrible for him. He had a urostomy bag. He resisted everything and was in denial till the end. He was such a difficult patient that they sent a psychologist to talk to him. I think she tried to open the conversation by asking how he felt about having a urostony bag. He was furious at the question and responded with "how would YOU like it?" Fair enough, I suppose. It was a silly question from a young psychology to a proud old man. But I suspect she wanted to get him talking, to get to the bottom of his resistance and loss of control. (Good luck with that, is what I thought). But I couldn't help reflecting on the loss of control I felt as a child as I lay on the floor at the bottom of the stairs soaked in my own urine a d crying desperately after one of his beatings.

[@well_weathered]

A big hug to you! You were so intuned to that you reflected on your own memories while also recognizing the awkwardness the psychologist might have felt in that instance. Isn't it strange, it seems often that the images that flash before us in those moments aren't coincidental. They serve a purpose and maybe the question, as crazy as it may have seemed, might have been a thorn he needed to face his actions.

[@snowbear1877]

@@well_weathered He blamed me for everything until the end. Even on his deathbed he was putting me down. I do think it was a silly question that the psychologist asked. She was probably young and inexperienced. If she'd asked me I probably would have told her exactly how I felt and more. But I am a woman, not a man, and not a narcissist (I hope). Thanks for your support.

[@well_weathered]

@@snowbear1877 I'm sorry that happened to you.

[@well_weathered]

@@snowbear1877 I can't picture what it would be like to be there for all the hate in the end. I am just trying to navigate now. I don't have the memories. I don't think I can do it.

[@snowbear1877]

@@well_weathered Are you going through this right now with a dying parent, may I ask?

[@Lupacool]

I listen to all the different people making these type of help videos and hands down, Dr.C has been the most relatable and helpful to me. I’ll watch every video more than once. Some I’ve listened too several times ❤thank you sir.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased!

[@NancyBrown1975]

We could use the term “accept our limitations” on a daily basis dealing with the narcissist.

[@suelindsey2295]

My narcissistic husband sabotaged my diet all the time and I give up so many times it’s like as he’s trying to keep me heavier than him

[@angelawade1445]

Oh yeah, they do that.

[@danielkaiser8971]

How did he sabotage your diet, exactly? Don't you choose what does and doesn't go into your mouth?

[@wintergoosey6412]

He says things to me so l loose my happiness and composure

[@julianterris]

Hi Doctor. I can't make the games, but I love the re-runs! Thank you!

[@makelifematter1896]

As always thank you Dr. Carter I'm so looking forward to the future of happiness OMG you are so so right on the answer to the last question and the behaviors that go with that they know no love

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You are so welcome. Keep learning!!

[@mariannami8049]

Dr. Carter. Thank you so much friend your positivity and upbeat mood ! It’s very helpful for my mood and mindset while continuing living with a narcissist.

[@michellehill718]

Narcissists love to set up a response from Team Healthy that can be argumentative and accusing, etc. and then when we say "stop it" or we are yelling or we say something we wish we hadn't said, they will absolutely play that got you game Dr. C. again and again. Yep! ✅ So, childlike and immature. ✅ And, exhausting to say the least. Lol😊

[@nicholasmontalbano81]

Christmas day alone without my children thanks to narcissistic wife...gonna be a tough one😢

[@tmo.48]

What a great video!!! Sooooooo much clarification on 2 of my conundrums that had me in a quizzical type of ruminations over them. 2 major answeres in one video that were deep for me for Months!!! So happy!!! I need to listen to this again--it's great to feel validation ❤

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad it was helpful!

[@julienatoli8561]

Excellent video Dr Carter!! 🙌🕊️✝️ Excellent!! Thank you so much!!

[@ClickerTrainer1]

List of the questions: 3:15 Q: My narcissist has terminal cancer but he can't tolerate giving me the reins. His lack of control causes him to rage. How do I deal with him? I'm a strong person but this is wearing on me. 13:04 Q: Why do people gang stalk? 16:07 Q: Do you think the behavior of gaslighting is perverse? 19:51 Q: Is it normal narcissistic behavior to feel entitled to sex? He always brings up how I don't do my duty as a wife by not doing it whenever he wants, even if it's my time of the month or I'm just not feeling it after a rage. 25:03 Many times when you're in a family that's dominated by a narcissist, you can have patterns that have been put into play over decades, maybe because that narcissistic individual, in their control, insists on dominance. But then someone new might come into the family scene as an in-law. That's what this next one's about. Q: How do you handle triangulation if the third person is your significant other? My father-in-law has put immense pressure on my wife her whole life to essentially be his little ‘do it all’ person. He's been doing this to my wife all her life but now that I've stepped into the picture, he's attempting to do the same thing to me. I finally put up some boundaries between the two of us, but he just hammers down on my wife more about what I'm doing. How am I going to respond to that? 31:44 Q: I'd appreciate your input on the differences between kindness and empathy. I have an old friend who constantly tells me of her random acts of kindness. For example, she might have helped a drunk out of the road. I thought that I'd have a shoulder to cry on when one of my rescue animals was attacked. Then she went on about how she rescued animals too. I told her there's no point to what she's saying. She thinks she's kind, that could be true, but she's uh unempathetic. I'd like your point of view on the differences. 34:50 Q: Why am I always surprised every time the narcissist does something narcissistic? 38:46 Q: How do I respond to a narcissist who immediately responds to my questions about her questionable behavior as MY insecurities. I've noticed this defensive response and immediate blame shifting and gaslighting, especially with questions that force her to be accountable or to explain her questionable behaviors or actions. 40:46 Q: Does a covert narcissist ever learn to tell the truth instead of the habit of lying? 42:15 Q: Does a narcissist actually feel love or is it just a craving for their supply?

[@mac4830]

Hi Dr. C. Do you have healing advice for adults who were caregivers/nurses for family members when they were children? Between the ages of 5-11yrs I did ~2 hrs caregiving per day for my grandmother who had rheumatoid arthritis, was on major meds, couldn't walk and never left the house. All her needs, never mine. I was never good enough as I was not a professional nurse. I realized later, as an adult, that medical professionals often step in, in situations like this, but that is not what happened to me.

[@wintergoosey6412]

I’m broken hearted loving a narcissist

[@keilahbishop5915]

How do you apologize to a narcissist family member to try to make peace without feeding the narcissistic supply?

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Say what you feel led to say, then act as you deem appropriate. Let the narcissist interpret away.

[@rick8793]

Dr. Carter, I am being sabotaged using my internet. I have changed providers and the abuse follows and it appears these networking groups are trying to shame me with pornography and other illegal crimes. I suspect my ex-wife & current wife being two suspects and many networking groups they have recruited for years. Who, what advice can you give me ?

[@artistmaureensharkey5321]

What does it mean to be disturbed? And Merry Christmas (ha)

[@schizorap]

Gang stalkers are the worst humans, then you start calling them out, you are paranoid, psychological torture

[@moxiepooties6363]

When you have a disagreement with relative 1 and they complain to relative 2 about it (usually a daughter!) and then relative 2 complains to you about it, jumping to (usually) their mother's defense, are they triangulating? Do they tend to "protect" their mothers because they are protecting something in the unhealthy family "system"?

[@albussnape2]

Please: Trauma Bonded with a therapist you have come to understand has behaviors of a covert narcissist Such a trap due to harm done. Please discuss 🙏🙏

[@malwads1836]

Dr.C needs to do a video on narcissistic therapists... They're human too & can potentially be messed up just like anyone else.

[@francesbernard2445]

It isn't death I am afraid of it is the length of time I imght be in great pain and disability while being bed ridden before I finally get there. When saying no more often when knowing my own limitations if I stay as far away from narcissists as much as possible I can avoid worrying about how I will get there.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Same here, Frances.

[@caroleminke6116]

Coercive control that verges on marital rape should be made illegal in this country as it now has become in the UK

[@caitlynnriley3054]

*WORD*

[@danielkaiser8971]

And people wonder where all the good men have gone. They're not getting married because it's all risk. Sure, protect women. But there are so many narcissistic women who abuse such laws that all she has to do is point her finger and the man suddenly stops existing. Feminism is systemic narcissism against men.

[@darinsmith2458]

1. Terminal Cancer.. This is where I ask myself why I am in the caretaking role..

[@darinsmith2458]

2. Gotcha.. I do have to be honest with myself and tell myself that it is a game..

[@darinsmith2458]

3. Gang Stalk.. Flying monkies.. They can be just as damaging as the Narcissist..

[@darinsmith2458]

4. Gaslighting.. I don't like it but sometimes I actually have to do it.. If people are not safe then sometimes I just tell them what they want to hear..

[@darinsmith2458]

5. Entitled.. I need to protect myself against them...

[@darinsmith2458]

6. Triangulation.. I need my significant other to be able to handle abusive people..

[@wintergoosey6412]

I was helping my ex he might be a narcissist. I tried to be there for him when he could walk and he was just abusive and not grateful. I’m loved him he only wanted to hurt me to feel better about himself.

[@artistmaureensharkey5321]

Could another way to end narcissism be, if Team Healthy became the collective consciousness of the nation, and would no longer be in contact with narcissists, or allow to be subjugated by them?

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I so wish that could happen!!

[@wintergoosey6412]

Yeah exactly

[@lauriediandrea715]

self seeking motives.. goes well with their overinflated sense of self.. EGO..

[@aliceroberts1980]

I was having problems with a Real estate agent actually called me I didn’t call her I hire her. I hired her but I didn’t call her. My cousin in law gave her my number so two houses of my deceased family one after the other and she was just pushy and bossy she Road me I mean I’m grieving and you need to do this and you need to do that and you need to do this and I have heart disease and health problems and it’s like I did the best I could and even after I got done with one chore, she sent me to clean in the house is having an estate there, I’m getting a dumpster all the stuff she directed me to do with constantly telling me what to do and I’m 60 I think I could figure out what to do. She made me even more miserable than I already was the whole thing of cleaning out a house is heartbreaking. It hurts it’s hard and she just made it harder, I started to think maybe she was narcissistic because she wanted to be in control that’s all she cared about and if I said no I’m not gonna do that or I can’t do that she would ignore me and pressing me on it until I did it pressure me or she get angry what does that sound like you sound narcissistic I don’t know

[@darrynreid4500]

I wonder if it may be useful to someone else, in the context of this discussion, to note here a behaviour of which I saw a lot. Unsatisfied with even just endlessly playing the victim (zeroth-order victimhood) I saw a lot of playing the victim with a deliberate, insistent belligerence, for the express purpose of trying to induce angry responses, against which they could then play the victim about that (first-order victimhood). Absent engagement, they'd then howl and thrash around and scream abuse about being the victim of not being the victim from playing the victim (second-order victimhood). Why I mention what I think of as "higher-order victimhood" is because it always struck me as truly insane, and others may have also seen something similar. So it might be something on which your expert analysis would be valuable.

[@caroleminke6116]

Victim mentality & bait then switch or DARVO

[@Gimmekiss-ix1hh]

Dr C I think every Narcissist should have to get a Colonoscopy to clean all that mesa in their brain!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That would be an option!

[@christophermacdonald3879]

Where is our King Gus Dr. c

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

On the live broadcasts, he's in a different part of the house. Being a terrier, he tends to bark if he hears something outside.

[@cairosilver2932]

I think sexual coordination is complex - a relationship can have an unspoken understanding (though it'd be better if it were explicitly spoken) on sex happening on some sort of regular basis. A key difference in having a relationship requirement (in this case on sex) is that if it's not being met then the person sadly closes the relationship. While a narcissist keeps the pretense of a relationship but keeps insisting things are done their way, holding attachment hostage to force their way of doing things (or more a feeling of attachment that others have but the narcissist doesn't feel themselves). Just saying 'If I don't want to then I don't' is ignoring whether the other person has a relationship requirement on the matter and whether there seemed to be an agreement (it just seeming to be this or that is why an actual verbal discussion would be better). I think it has its own issues when it's not recognized that the other person has a relationship requirement and it's not being met, then it's basically heading towards closing the relationship to just say that. It's fair to just want to close a relationship, but just saying 'Well I don't have to do anything and the relationship should just stay there' IMO possibly has some narcissistic traits in it itself.

[@FOOTBALLEDITZ-1713]

There is no hope. If you must continue on in a friendship or marriage stick to public spaces for when an argument is inevitable and stick to decency. I’m a decent person and I’m not treated decently. Wash rinse repeat then retreat into self love until they are off their high horse.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Shoot i bet they dont want to die!

[@amarbyrd2520]

They don't even THINK they're going to. They literally believe they will never die until it happens

[@surferdude4487]

Yep, you think I'm nuts. That's a you problem.

[@markjayw666]

Dr. Carter. I am going through a divorce / custody battle with my confirmed and tested Sociopathic wife. I need you to review the tests. She is claiming the tests were fraud. Please help. My 4.5 year old daughter is suffering. If you cannot, please refer me to someone who is an expert in NPD who can confirm her pathology. Me and my whole family have had very little contact with my daughter for 20 months.

[@menotyou6254]

Document everything film her and record her as much as possible document everything

[@margiestephens7281]

I also would start a journal of her (their) daily actions. Document everything as thoroughly as you possibly can. My heart goes out to you through your struggle. Mental illness & NPD are awful to deal with.

[@markjayw666]

@@margiestephens7281There is a rest order in place right now. I cannot. Narcs all file them to take control of children to alienate them from good parents. I have 100’s of folders of dirt on that pos liar. I mean my God, she is on divorce #4 lmao

[@markjayw666]

@@menotyou6254Oh I have lol. I was beat up for recording her 4 times.

[@cyndim8785]

Narcissist don’t know how to make “Love”. They know how to make hate lots and lots of hate. I wished that I knew then what I know now. I would have never excepted his ring. Bob-It did two things wrong, She should’ve not cut off his manhood. She should’ve put it into the garbage disposal. Sorry, not sorry.

[@terrymassie7656]

Oh Lord, excuse me.

[@robinf.8644]

Even weirder at funerals didn’t cry just talking about them selfs how great they are How dumb you are how they want to take care of you but they stop keep up for two days. I need sleep 💤 . Clean something take your cloths leave you wondering what happened to them? Makes crazy

[@ChristianaBonelliSmith-mo1ox]

I didn't create that you tube video name for me I rarely even use my maiden name but it is what it is. I haven't been able to change it so I'm more private.

[@gerty2024]

It is possible to change it but I can’t remember how. Keep working at it.

[@chrisla2736]

Your story about the cats. I call a one upper. You tell them your story, and they always have another story to "one up" you. To get kudos for a supposedly kind act, instead of giving kudos to the person telling the story. It is different if you share a similar story, and say, " I get it " I empathize, have not walked in your shoes, but I would like to share my story with you.

[@MimmaHappunchMaria]

Sexual harrassment , insults and triangles that one who inciates this is Abusive NOT the one who says maybe later or no I am no Abuser for saying no to a madman in lust or in urges

[@davidparker5439]

👍

[@KaleCasanova]

Hey now, re: Kale

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

My wife puts in our smoothies

[@amarbyrd2520]

@@SurvivingNarcissism when people don't like kale I hope someone someday will make it for them properly 😄

[@ChristianaBonelliSmith-mo1ox]

I haven't watched your video on gang stalking but oh yes and it's awful.

[@danielkaiser8971]

My mother inappropriately shared sex stories with when I was a small child, how my dad wanted sex from her. The thing is, she was the one denying him everything. Not just sex, but all promises she made as a wife. I am going to take a break from this channel. Bye.

[@trudismith9712]

Some people on this channel go through hell, pain and turmoil. I didn't maybe only through naivity. After 4 years of Dr C i changed my attitude (wrongly thinking that nobody likes me, when i should have looked in peoples eyes and see pain)and it works. The lesson i learnt, the Narcs are what they are, sad people. I feel guilty not to have been able to protect my children from psychological turmoil. First born always suffers more. Come back soon.

[@danielkaiser8971]

@@trudismith9712 Thanks for your reply, but I genuinely don't see how it relates to what I said in the original comment. I think you were talking about something unrelated, but I could be wrong. Could you be more direct so that I can understand? Thanks. Because it almost sounds like you are trying to teach me that some people on this channel go through hell, pain and turmoil. It sounds like you don't think I have gone through hell, pain and turmoil. It sounds like you are trying to tell me what I need to do by saying it is what you have done. And quite frankly, all this vagueness really pisses me off -- it's so woman-like to beat around the bush with condescension disguised as helpfulness and compassion. So if I'm wrong, please correct me. I am giving you the chance to own your words, so that I don't have to make you eat your words.