Why Do Modern Men Feel So Left Behind? - Richard Reeves

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you savages. Get 50% off your first Factor Meals box at factormeals.com/MW50 Get expert bloodwork analysis and bypass Function’s 300,000-person waitlist at functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get a 20% discount on your first order from Maui Nui Venison by going to mauinuivenison.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get a 20% discount on the best supplements from Momentous at livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Here's the timestamps: 00:00 How the Conversation Around Men’s Issues Has Changed 09:46 Why People Have to Add Caveats So Frequently Today 20:54 Allowing for an Accuracy Budget 36:24 Advice for Handling Inflammatory Topics 41:50 Why is Advocating for Men So Difficult? 48:18 The American Institute for Boys & Men 1:02:09 What is Causing More Men to Commit Suicide? 1:06:04 How Men & Women Experience Neededness Differently 1:22:09 The Huge Increase of Unnatural Male Deaths 1:32:51 When Women Don’t Feel Needed 1:45:31 Do Women Attempt Suicide More Than Men? 1:50:39 The Target Audiences of the Harris/Walz Campaign 1:59:02 Why the Democratic Party Has Neglected Men 2:15:35 Is Therapy Effective for Men? 2:21:31 Having Positive Male Mentors 2:37:58 What Richard Has Learned About Working-Class Men 2:54:42 Where to Find Richard

[@Carpe-Diem-gg1hg]

Hi Chris

[@John-wf5if]

Reasons I feel "left behind": 1) I can't afford a house. 2) Thus can't afford to even contemplate starting a family. 3) My country (UK) is undergoing such large levels of immigration it is changing the culture(s) I grew up with and altering society for the worst. Leaving me with a lack of "connection" to my homeland. I'm sure many of you will see this divisive one differently. 4) The relentless attack on masculinity in the West. 5) The Internet - which has many positives - has whittled down in-person friendships and spaces.

[@paulhodges8288]

Thank Cambridge Analytica and Boris the Moron for pushing Brexit.

[@bawseeeee602]

Guys like you always complain about simple issues. In reality you just need to man up and find a path forward. I am a man in the UK I am thriving. Stop the excuses bro...

[@LustyBatch]

Can you explain what masculine traits are being attacked? I always hear that masculinity is under attack, but masculinity is a set of behaviours and traits, so which behaviours and traits specifically are being attacked?

[@albertlevins9191]

Bro. Me too. The USA is having the exact same problem but with different faces involved. I too, cannot afford a house. In fact, I just recently became so poor that I can no longer afford to have a car. Oh well, guess I gotta get to work. Maybe a bike will solve this problem. Either way, it isn't just you.

[@PJGenovese251]

I feel you brother that stuff is important and not having it is like living an incomplete life. But f’ it maybe thats Gods way of telling you to focus less on money and material things and more on the spiritual. I only want a house so a girl will move in it with me and start a family😂. Nice comment though. God bless

[@Doberman_6773]

Society is starting to pay attention to these things for 2 main reasons : 1. Too many of us resource pumps are shutting down; 2. There's a shortage of 'eligible' men (read: high value divorce lotto tickets) to satisfy women's demands if\when they decide to 'settle down'. Men - there are definitely problems to be solved; they just aren't yours.

[@vladtheimpalerofyourmom-ag5112]

Easy solution. Import these high value men from overseas. Problem solvered. Very easy problem to solve.

[@MrZuriax]

Thank you for that opening dialogue. Men can't just have their own thing, even a conversation on their issues, without shoehorning women in as well. It's frankly exhausting but proper context especially in the modern age IS important.

[@dement242]

Maybe they dont "feel left behind" or "are struggling", maybe they do not want to go in the direction that society is moving, maybe they are flat out refusing to demean themselves with constructing this "brave new world".

[@Strelnikov10]

Very well put.

[@Throwaway-x9e]

Yup

[@Throwaway-x9e]

In 100s of hours of podcasts, NO ONE ASKS THE MEN WHY

[@Doberman_6773]

@@Throwaway-x9e This is because the answers may not comfortably fit in with certain narratives.

[@rentaleper3816]

Yes 100% correct. Men discovered that fighting against it is pointless, so the remaining option is to check out.

[@daverichards1534]

When gender gap is brought up there are all kinds of gaps that don’t benefit men that don’t get brought up. A big one is the gender empathy gap. Where people are much less likely to feel empathy for men, whichever gender you are. BUT related to wage, let's talk about the: Dangerous job gap Die on the job gap Electrocuted to death gap Crushed to death gap Fall to their death gap Injured on the job gap Undesirable/disgusting/dirty jobs gap Work outside in heat/cold gap Shitty hours gap Relocate gap Commute gap Overtime gap Work in bumfuck nowhere gap Work a job that props up the entire infrastructure of society so you can sit in your cushy air conditioned office job gap

[@ireallylovegod]

But that's men so it does not count ,man up, they say

[@tempsoda]

I know it probably won't mean much but there is a big (albeit silent) majority of us that do appreciate this work and the men that do it, and completely agree with them being paid accordingly.

[@ireallylovegod]

@@tempsoda The silence is the problem , thanks all the same though :)

[@tempsoda]

@@ireallylovegod I know, I do try and make the case for this if I hear/see it brought up in conversation but those people seem to be pretty to impenetrable to reason 🙈

[@Doberman_6773]

@@ireallylovegod THIS; having the good women who are out there being more open about pushing back against the misandry would do a world of good.

[@dannyboy1200]

We are left behind because when women have problems it's expected for society to help them. When we have problem we are expected to fix it ourselves. Then media turns around to talk about how good we have it and how we are not doing enough for women/minorities/LGBTQ groups. But god forbid we take offense to this setup as that would make us misogynists and bigots.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

Im a single woman with one child, no foodstamps, no child support, work at a factory for 18.50 and hour making about 30k a year. No ones helping me and no I didnt expect them too. Men also can receive child support, foodstamps, disability checks, live in government housing, get grants and scholarships and so on.

[@dannyboy1200]

@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm It's very admirable that you are independent. However for stuff such as scholarships and hiring (especially in STEM fields) there is a clear bias for women. If you have grants and position targeted towards women it's perfectly fine. If you have it for men all of a sudden it's discriminatory. That's the type of BS we are upset about. Also just to be clear. Not getting handouts is the default state that most guys live in. It's not some sort of gotcha.

[@Dzamile25]

Regardless of gender, the victim mentality and blaming society isn't the way forward.

[@dannyboy1200]

@@Dzamile25 "This isn't the way forward" well it's sure been working pretty well for women over the past couple decades. Clearly pushing stoically forward hasn't been working for men hence all the problems.

[@CigarsWhiskeyGunsFreedom]

I think Chris is correct. Men have had enough of having to massage women prior to expressing their needs. Women would never do that. Enough is enough!

[@phoebe_pedia]

Women do that literally all the time.

[@cheeks7050]

@@phoebe_pedia Stop invading men's space.

[@parker9012]

​@@phoebe_pediawhen?? Idk, I've just never seen this

[@phoebe_pedia]

@@parker9012 The radical feminists online don't, but the average (even liberal) women I know care about these issues.

[@WolframCharlie]

I think @phoebe_pedia is spot on about women always doing this and, I'll add, even when it's not necessary. So many times I have to tell people, especially women, just be direct with me. Men are often more direct on the other hand. This is one of the areas where men and women seem to completely miss each other. We humans are prone to think, 'this is how I act and feel, other people should do the same' be it personalities, sexes, or cultures. So directness is seen as rude and not considering people's feelings, and massaging what one says is seen as weak. These are both just one possibility among others. It's as if people these days much more so lack the ability to discern context or maybe don't care because going with the first popular negative is so much easier. It's also why the idea of giving a person the benefit of the doubt in a discussion as talked about in the video is really important in discussions.

[@doneanddone4952]

We don't need to include women in men's discussions about men's problems. The solutions don't need to be understood by the world, just you.

[@RochelleJ1000]

I agree with the first part of your statement, but boys aging off to men need some guidance...they need to be heard, appreciated , and understood from the problems they're facing. To off young men and tell them to 'figure it out' is no different than saying, "oh well, you're on your own, figure it out." For example, if there was a march/protest/rally/fundraiser for prostate cancer month (non-existent btw)...I would be the biggest d*ck to interrupt and scream, "what about breast cancer?" If we have breast cancer awareness month, we should have a prostate cancer awareness month as well.

[@pamcollins2178]

Amen! By the way, I’m a woman

[@edgar9651]

I don't feel left behind. Many years ago, I moved from "the west" to Bangkok. Here nobody asks what a woman is. Men and women know that they are different, and they get along just fine.

[@allisonn6027]

There’s a big movement of western men to Thailand for this very reason, also a way more reasonable cost of living. More for way less

[@dbird2986]

Edgar: Are you saying you don’t feel left behind because you are living in Bangkok or did you feel left behind when you lived in the west society before Bangkok?

[@edgar9651]

@@dbird2986 I moved to Bangkok many years ago - before social media. At that time the west was not as crazy as now, but it was already a little mad and it didn't look like things would improve. I am sure there are different levels of being left behind. I wasn't in a bad level of that, but maybe in a starter level.

[@edgar9651]

@@allisonn6027 It is possible to live cheap in Thailand. But with comfort and western food it is also not difficult to spend a lot of money.

[@dbird2986]

@@edgar9651 You had good insight and have escaped the madness that America has become.

[@OKSYONCREATES]

It doesn’t matter what others think, it matters what you do and how you feel about it.

[@jonahtwhale1779]

So much for the Patriarchy! Women's problems can be discussed without addressing men's issues. Men's issues can not be discussed without including women's viewpoint. Does that sound like a Patriarchy or a gynocentric society?

[@Ken-uy8vs]

Our fathers did not sin. They fought the world and built a society to protect women and women have decided to burn it down.

[@Photik]

Women continue to fight for every 1% or less of our population for equal rights while men are left to grow on their own. Society isn't helping men at all.

[@noneofyourbusiness3572]

💯 true!

[@MrStreetninja007]

you have a massively successful podcast you really need to stop caring what people's opinions are of you online

[@anonymousanomalous9937]

It's not so much men feeling left behind, it's the effects of young boys being put behind. It's been noted in studies how high earning men, leading men and extraordinary men have a very high amount of confidence. As far as I can tell from everything I've learned, confidence directly correlates with success but the modern man has his confidence taken at an early age. Boys aren't tought to have expectations for others to treat them with consideration. they're told only they're responsible to give consideration to others. When they're treated badly, they're scolded for not having fixed it, but never taught how. Boys grow up being treated horribly if they aren't already all they things the world has decided they should be at their age, regardless of whether or not they've had the opportunity to learn to be. The result is that the modern man has been learning from early childhood to keep their heads down and try not to piss anyone off as a means of survival. Their lack of confidence from this upbringing makes them less capable to such a degree that any given thing they attempt is dramatically less likely to work out. Even now, this isn't acknowledged outside of expressing hatred and disgust toward men who are trying to unlearn these problems. Western culture destroys men's to ability to be successful or develop into a full, proper person. It's learned helplessness being forced on men from early childhood and the vast majority of us will never recover from that

[@daverichards1534]

It’s so annoying during this voting season that none of the issues that is affecting men gets discussed but all the airtime is given to “women issues”. Democrats package thier platform and have policies that they advocate for women. women’s reproductive rights/abortion, fight to eliminate wage gap, violence against women acts, DEI/affarmitive action. No platform that’s explicitly pro men.

[@Photik]

Conservatives value common sense and not shaming men to be just a more masculine woman in society. Faith and conservative values will go far, I think.

[@jonahtwhale1779]

Men are perfectly sure about the need and value with which they are regarded by society. The problem is the terrible attitude that society has to men. Look at Ukraine - in 2022 the Women were allowed to flee to safety abroad, the men were stopped at the boarder and conscripted to fight. Why is the safety of women prioritized? Will these two groups get the same civil rights in Ukrainian society? The ones who were forced to risk their lives given nothing more than the cowards who fled?

[@garyfrombuffalo]

Sometimes my mental health gets so bad it doesn’t feel like a choice. It’s like putting your finger over a flame, eventually it hurts so bad you have to pull it alway.

[@theamateursurvivalist9249]

The fact that Obama endorsed his book, and then went on to publicly shame black men for not voting for Harris, lol…ismfh

[@Dexian-j9m]

Probably because of he didn't even read it and had someone else do it for him. Just like a lot of his other books.

[@truthteller4442]

Obama is the antiChrist. All I see is pure evil in those eyes of his.

[@pavelow9876]

I'm not partaking in a society where ur status is about being in a hamster wheel the best. Being an obedient slave to the system that abuses you. If thats what i need to get a woman and be a "normal" person. Im not having it. I will leech until the day i can't any more and then i will just end it. This world is cruel.

[@ronnie5329]

The whole speech about men and boys coming out of america is drenched in so much misandry, that i am again and again surprised that the platforms allow it up. Especially tiktok is a place where it is being pushed, they know what they are doing

[@phoebe_pedia]

These platforms don't give a shit, unless it's violent. That's why the redpill exists. Misandry, and misogyny are all over.

[@ronnie5329]

As relates to young amerikan men not feeling needed, I think we need to tell them that there is a world outside the US. Even here in europe you might be able to start a new life away from the worst toxicity. Or go to more traditional countries and date more nurtering women, kind, feminine women. Men need to re-find their purpose, whatever that is, but the US also need to look inwards and see how much anger and hatred is bring pushed towards young white boys. And shut it down.

[@daverichards1534]

Yes, the misandry in TikTok is unbelievable. That’s why I have no time for the bashing redpill even though there is toxic elements. Unfortunately sometimes fighting fire with fire is necessary and not cower. The cowering of men is the reason we have the issues we have now

[@phoebe_pedia]

@@daverichards1534 In this instance you're proving them right though. You can not give ground and keep your values. The redpill doesn't just have toxic elements. It's hypocrisy.

[@ronnie5329]

What it takes is someone like Reeves here opening up a conversation about how young working class, or working class men in general are doing. That is needed. And the red pill is not able to do that, it is a response to the misandry put out there. There is a need for support for the working class boys, both in schools and training

[@Beastjon21]

It is weird to see that the perception is more important than reality. Most people still percieve that certain groups like women are disadvantaged, but the stats are saying otherwise. Throw in grifting and fear of being canceled really muddies the waters.

[@Buccanator]

I can’t listen to Chris Williamson anymore. He bans people for having comments like this 😂

[@PinkyTheCat-again]

You’re being tongue-in-cheek, but the severity of the reaction (a no tolerance policy) to a comment, and the stridence with which he admits to it, surrounding a behaviour he is demonstrating by doing so, is a remarkable double standard. “You stop taking someone seriously owing to a position they are willing to announce in front of an audience, therefore I cannot take YOU seriously, and never want to hear from you again”. Are you seeing the reflection?

[@BruceKarrde]

I do not agree with "well, we should caveat women into the conversation on men." Why? Because currently the Feminist ideology is leading research and manipulating history in favor of women. For example, they will say "women have been oppressed for millenia", well sure - but so was 95% of MEN. The issue is that current Feminists are viewing history from a present day perspective. What they don't tell you is how different society was - 150 days of work and many festivals and holidays. The same Feminists will say that the history that is being taught in school is men's history. And I very much challenge that - because most men weren't Churchill, Columbus, Aristotle, etc. etc. Most men went to the mines, coughed up some coal dust, and then went home. If you were lucky, your wife wasn't ALSO working in the mines. Another part I have questions about is his dismissal or softening of men experiencing domestic violence. I have a mom, I have a sister, and 12 nieces/cousins. I know the gaslighting, bullying, and competition women have. I very well know how capable they are of committing domestic violence. It's not just throwing plates or poisoning. It involves withdrawal of sex in unreasonable terms (like, the man needs to do more and more to satisfy her to even have sex), we have the psychological violence, the economic violence, we have the mothers manipulating the kids to hate their dads. Heck ... the list goes on! But still, we are NOT allowed to talk about domestic violence experienced by men, because it doesn't leave bruises "so it can't be that bad."

[@andrew6815]

Correction: not 95% of men, 99.9% of men and the proportion of privileged men and privileged women were the same. It was socioeconomic (aristocracy) NOT gendered... it still is socioeconomic. I would also love to see a massive study on domestic violence because my experience and the experience of every guy I know is that this perception that men are the perpetrators of SA and women are the victims would go away immediately. If you included verbal and psychological abuse (which you SHOULD as the effects are quite similar) then I'd imagine the conversation would be reversed.

[@okaySam]

Sadly, we'll have to let all of this run it's course. The institutions are corrupted to the core. It will take decades to get to a point where this can't be ignored. We'll get there, but it will take a very very long time.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

​@@andrew6815 Men think any time they dont get what they want when they want they are being abused. Lmao. Yall literally are ending womens lives every 11 mins and trying to compare that to her actually having requirements from you as "psychological abuse"

[@andrew6815]

@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm lmao? Not a serious conversation. Lack of empathy, not engaging with the actual argument... I never said women don't suffer abuse or that it isn't serious. But you immediately minimized the suffering of others. Good luck to you.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

@@andrew6815 Its a laugh or cry situation for me. The original comment said women saying no to s3x should be considered domestic violence against men. Every 11 mins a woman dies of domestic violence and thats just the ones that die. Men are far less likely statictically to be killed by his female partner than a woman is by hers. I minimized mens "suffering" because it IS minimal compared to ours in the domestic violence category. But you want me to feel sad for your hurty feelings that your gf/wife would ever say no to a s3x act

[@brettconnolly399]

As someone who was successful with dating in college, I'm finding it nearly impossible these days. It's frustrating because I've dated enough to have landed in now in a nice sweet spot of being assertive and making my intentions known while also making it clear that I'm not rushing things and willing to let a natural relationship develop. I just don't know what else to do at this point. It just feels like the combination of extreme optionality from online dating combined with people being mentally ill from a variety of reasons (emotional baggage, dopamine burnout, medications, political obsession, etc) has made dating feel more and more futile as time goes on. Every year it gets worse. I work remotely so can't meet a girl naturally through my job anymore. There's almost no single women that play pickleball where I go. It's hard randomly talking to people at coffee shops since most people are either working or just popping in to get a drink and leave. I used to love dancing but most women out at dance clubs late at night aren't exactly the type of woman I think would suit me at this stage of my life. I have no real interest in religion anymore, so it feels crazy to try and go to church to meet women if I already find the idea of organized religion rather stupid... What's a guy to do these days?

[@MsLUFC]

If you can work remotely, also away from your country, both thailand and philippines have amazing, well educated beautiful, feminine women looking for YOU! Dont believe me? I am the avg joe here from northern europe, and I found the most amazingly nurtering wife abroad by working remotely. Those were difficult for me to find in my country getting in to my 30s especially. So I took a chance, and look at me now

[@phoebe_pedia]

The thing that consistently confuses me, are the same men who give women a hard time about our "biological clock" and the "declining birth rate" are the same men who want to "not rush things". That kind of language screams f-boy to most modern women I know.

[@andrew6815]

@@brettconnolly399 control what you can control, maximize your own potential (which is highly individual), know yourself (what you want, need, and expect from yourself and others), set clear boundaries and expectations (for yourself and others). If you don't find what you're looking for (which is pretty likely) take necessary actions. As others have suggested, maybe that's widening your search

[@andrew6815]

@@phoebe_pedia it's extremely unlikely that those are actually the same person

[@carolinerondon8934]

​@@phoebe_pedia i think only modern women who have been getting played by men by not setting clear boundaries think like this. Doesnt mean that I dont think men should state their intentions of dating seriously, but it doesnt mean that things need to happen quick either. Allow the dating stages to occur naturally for a healthy relationship to form

[@philipsankot8003]

It took 2 hr and 22 min before someone mentioned fatherlessness...

[@mr.mayhem7402]

Thank you. You saved me from wasting 2 hours of my time.

[@davidbooher5559]

Chris was big mad in this podcast. And I don’t blame him one bit!

[@simpol-thesimultaneouspoli4196]

Empathy isn't a zero-sum commodity, true. But resources flow according to empathy, and those resources most definitely are zero sum.

[@cheeks7050]

Why would you judge whether or not you've struck the right tone by the reaction of a scared feminist? That's so weird.

[@clarkkent4683]

I want to like the guy. He is too happy to effeminise men and not resist what's being imposed upon them though.

[@simonholliday3421]

I think he's got it right when he says (and I'm paraphrasing/intrpreting his words here) if you cut through all the bullshit and call it like it is, you'll alienate a large number of listeners. Its better to moderate the phrasing and reach people, than talk in a tactlessly honest way that will scare them off.

[@exposureseries3747]

Ive been backpacking, hiking, mountaineering for years, ever since I was in middle school. Back then, out on the trail you would usually see many more men and groups of men. Most women you'd see were with a boyfriend or husband. Now a day I see mostly groups of women, the occasional solo man, rarely any groups of men, the largest group of men I see is with a girlfriend or wife. The drastic change in who I see out hiking is stunning, every time I go out I come home asking myself where are the men? If you are a single man out there start hiking you'd be one of the tiny few compared to the number of women. Secondly and way more important is spending time out in the wilderness is probably the greatest mental health boost available to men. I spend as much time out in the wilds of Washington as much as I can, every couple weeks. If you're a man/boy and you don't I can guarantee your life will drastically get better with the more time you spend hiking. Don't believe me, go try it! Save yourself its on you go enjoy how amazing this world is outside of the city. Learn to rely on yourself, get comfortable pushing your own limits, drag your friends along and if they refuse go solo. The wilderness will set you free and push you into the man you're supposed to be. Be safe and have fun, there is so much to learn and boundless places to explore. There's no better feeling than pushing yourself all day and finally reaching the summit of a mountain, looking out over everything and realizing you did it, no one else got you there, just you step after step, enjoy the suffering!

[@jorgeromera3861]

Beautifully written. As a mountaineer since I was 14 I wholeheartedly agree. I am 60 now and go on hiking, every other weekend. There isn't anything I love more.

[@dontarguewithidiots7459]

It's CULTURE BRO - even if we cannot articulate it as such. We can FEEL IT on some level. And who is in control of the culture? Progressives. Denigrate, dismiss, blame, and chastise men for DECADES at this point and you wonder why men are going Republican??

[@billusher2265]

what have republicans done for men?

[@Reglaized]

@@billusher2265Not attack them

[@billusher2265]

@@Reglaized letting corporations contaminate water and lower our testosterone and sending us to get maimed in the Middle East aren’t attacks?

[@srdjanpetrovic8391]

I suggest reading a book "Buried Money Secrets (Edward Statler)" if you want to know how to man up. Just follow everything writer suggests in there, it's one of the best reads I had in a while.

[@bryanalves8931]

Friend, i have not found this book and author. Can you please check it? I'm interested.

[@AdamJones-q5t]

​@bryanalves8931 try to search just name of the book should come out on top

[@srdjanpetrovic8391]

​@@bryanalves8931try searching just name of the book should come on top

[@JasonPaul-l3y]

​@@bryanalves8931try searching just name of the book should come on top

[@srdjanpetrovic8391]

@@bryanalves8931 search just name of book should come on top

[@MasterApprentist]

Diversification of identity and therefore meaning is a fascinating idea. Regarding suicide the most repeated words accross suicide notes are "useless and worthless" hard to find meaning when women lean in together and men are left out alone.

[@Louis-wp3fq]

We need MORE women in politics? Oh boy...

[@RPcropland]

People who say that never read history

[@vess5691]

Reality is that noone cares

[@Doberman_6773]

Not true; the effects are starting to be felt by society and women.

[@Photik]

Men need to help other men.

[@ChemicalOly]

Trying to be a traditional family with a stay at home mother is very hard these days. You have to sacrifice a lot of things like holidays aboard and owning/doing nice things. I get a lot of heat from other men who can't understand why you'd give up these things. My usual response is that my wife isn't a man so why would I treat her like one and expect her to work outside the home?

[@Azazel-uv3sx]

I honestly dont feel like the conversation around men and boys and their wellbeing currently is becoming more accepted by the mainstream as much as it is simply bolstering the already-developing counter culture that had existed for years in the cases of Rumble, Gamergate, Discord communities and the other fragmented parts of all the misfits and undesirables to the current political paradigm. That undercurrent is still viscerally hated and we're currently at a state in time where all conversations about politics are merely traps meant to ensnare the other in word games and rhetorical tricks to try and fit them to a pre-constructed strawman. I don't think data matters whatsoever when you still have to fight and argue about stuff ranging from Rittenhouse to sexual dimorphism and its relationship to sports performance... I feel like its just forming a bigger and bigger island and each new person brings their own boatload of sand to help build up the island. We're not connected to the mainstream but they can see us out on the horizon and hate it

[@dt6822]

It's good of you that you let him listen to you.

[@jonahtwhale1779]

Women want a guy who has his act together? Yet demand his money on divorce? So which is it - money or competence?

[@chuck1052]

They want it all.

[@kinetic-cybernetic]

Guys stop responding to the title, it’s a 3 hour conversation.

[@peterdessev536]

I couldn't take Chris Williamson seriously anymore as soon as he said "I couldn't take Chris Williamson seriously anymore as soon as he said "I couldn't take Chris Williamson seriously anymore as soon as he said "I couldn't take Chris Williamson seriously anymore as soon as he said...

[@noahrichardson691]

"Someone said one thing I didn't like, so now I'm not going to listen to anything they say!" People are silly sometimes

[@PinkyTheCat-again]

@@noahrichardson691 that’s a thing Chris admitted to doing by suggesting that those people who say one thing get a LIFE BAN. If he’s going to have a standard, he should probably apply it to his own business.

[@SamuelStorrer]

Again enough with the doom and gloom, I think that different people have different forms of suffering. So I can’t relate with a dude who was born pre 1990, but as a 29 year old I can say that the only thing I need to to have good job…that’s it.

[@HBgirl99]

As a woman, I get insulted about how I'm supposed to be a victim of society. I'm 63 and have been kicking ass since I was 25 in a male-dominated industry (actuary). I adore almost all the men in my industry. I've never been pressured by any man in an untoward manner (I'm fit and def not ugly). I'm not in a bubble, I travel the country as an industry speaker. The men at the top 100% deserve to be there, just like me. I'm so tired of the feminist narrative that says I've been held back. Ladies, just tune out the noise and get after it.

[@VastChoirs]

Good for you. You legit walked the walk. Actuary is a very challenging career and highly meritocratic.

[@HBgirl99]

@@VastChoirs Thank you! As a numbers person I had to look that word up ;)

[@mstorgaardnielsen]

There might be an issue of female power. Perhaps there’s something we’re quite getting. Husbands loosing their friends may of course being due to men. However, in some cases wives may more or less intentionslly “nudge” their husband away from too frequent male-male socializing. Especially with the wrong friends. It i always assumed that men have almost unlimited amounts of agency. But considering the demands of marriage, can (good) men just do as please? Can their newly married friend also do as they please? Or are they expected to put wife, work, children first and make do with what freedom is left?

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

I used to be happy when my husband would hang out with his male friends but as his friends got married they drifted...then he started hangin out with the women he cheated on me with 😂

[@Kate-rv6kx]

I appreciate Chris' apology/clarification about the women's value comment, even if it was frustrating to have to do it. He really didn't have to do it. There are plenty of creators who mean what he didn't, and they do just fine. Thanks Chris. If integrity were easy, everyone would do it.

[@wolfpack5865]

'Your life matters, you are needed for the humanity' is bro in reality?

[@Photik]

Women raise boys. Men raise men. Get a mentor, build a healthy group of guys that want to be on the same path as you to improve and focus on yourself, redefine what masculinity is (regardless of society's standards or expectations). Seek God. Mental, physical, spiritual, emotional.

[@Gheir-xe4mv]

A huge issue for men who do not have college degrees in regards to family and children is the insane weekly work hours that are sometimes required of them in relation to a woman's expectation of a partner who will share (a lot more than in the past) responsibilities of children. Their white collar brethren do not as commonly have the work hours issue.

[@williamtuite1120]

White collar men work extremely long hours. I’m blue collar with white collar friends. They work long hours

[@Gheir-xe4mv]

@@williamtuite1120 off the top of my head I can think of 5 white collar workers I know all of them work mon-friday 8 hours during the day. I'm not saying your're lying but it would be cool to see stats on this.

[@thunderjolt69]

0:00 Obamna

[@Photik]

Big Mike

[@mitsuman5555]

Chris, your advocacy and passion for men’s mental health is so valuable, please keep doing what you’re doing. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@leighhewitt1797]

2:16:00 a famous scientist once turned himself into a Pickle to avoid therapy.

[@PinkyTheCat-again]

Rick was right that therapy is a sham, and that therapists are, at best, hobbyist ‘psychologists’, and at worst ‘friend experience’ prostitutes.

[@EURUSDislife]

Living the decaprio Lifestyle. Just without the models and the money.

[@cadeezra315]

At around 2:03:00 talking about the bipartisan infrastructure bill: infrastructure definitely needs to be improved, but claiming that this will lead to job creation is misleading. The money to fund the building and repairing of infrastructure comes from taxes. The projects are worked on by contract bidders who may be buddy-buddy with the ones giving out the contracts. The palms of both parties (the bidder and the contract giver) are greased, and the taxpayer suffers as a result.

[@wallywallywa]

I think women know how to be needed in a way men don't. We women are great at embedding ourselves in social groups so we feel needed. We volunteer at schools, religious groups, and in the community. We have more social connections with friends who also need us.

[@yofinance1777]

True and women will put up for a lot more BS. I know women in the prime fertility married to their job and pretending to be happy.

[@alexisc7565]

Whereas most men don't feel "needed" unless they are holding some type of leverage over someone's head.

[@PinkyTheCat-again]

@@alexisc7565 you’re responding to a comment describing how women leverage social power to feel important, and using it to discriminate against men in the comments section of a podcast about how men are being discriminated against. You are among the least self aware commenters I have ever encountered on any platform (except reddit).

[@Whirlwind990]

I was inspired by this sort of content and wrote and published a short novel called "Electric Monolith" about a guy living in the alienation of the modern world. It goes into the emotions of men in relation to struggles that are experienced. I found there wasn't a lot of space, in the contemporary literary world at least, for this kind of stuff. Art can make life relatable, if people were interested in checking it out

[@joshlarkin5022]

I think Richard Reeves has done an AMAZING job bringing the conversation of men to the table. I also agree with a TON of what he is saying. Although the one point I think we should be carful about is his point of staring boys 1 year later for school. I started 1 year early. The story I told myself about myself was that I was the smartest kid in the room for my age. Which honestly was true. However, if you start men late you are telling a whole generation of men that they can't keep up with women. One of my favorite quotes from Tom Bilyeu is "One of the most important things you are going to craft is the story you tell yourself about yourself." It is very true. I fear that if we start men later the story men will tell themselves about themselves will be that they are not as good or as smart as Women.

[@Doberman_6773]

I lost all respect for Reeves after hearing him say (several times) that 'masculinity is about giving more than you get back'. If that is true, there has to be another group (the opposite of masculinity?) that's getting more than they give back. Who's problem is really being solved here? I also find the idea that men need to give 'more than' to be a kind of tacit admission that they are somehow 'less than'; that's going to be a hard pass and a GFY from me.

[@dosesandmimoses]

I’m a female.. I try my best to take up for podcasters - and I don’t discriminate- but it’s unusual that I see very few doing the same. Diversity is a thing and the people who complain without offering a solution drive me bonkers. I appreciate you guys so much .. and it’s the way that I show my gratitude

[@pathofresilience1796]

Chris I watch your show often,but I think the thing that bothers so many is that you like to play Switzerland and stay neutral. With the way society is tracking currently,now is not the time to be "neutral"...

[@elmair8673]

fully agreed. I like the conversations but sometimes I think like, "wait a minute you were agreeing with points from person x and now the other is saying the almost opposite and you are also agreeing" . I understand if you don't want to take a stance. But now you are short of taking both sides as a stance

[@gcastaneda562]

The virus that’s infected society is terrible… the days when my grandmothers generation prided themselves for being the the last person at the dinner table to eat their meal the COLDEST as she served the grandkids and grandfather hot fresh meals as our grandfather conversed with the grandkids and fed my cousins still in high chairs has been consumed by this mind virus pushing this past time into a distant memory.

[@krystelhardesty9960]

I never got this why on earth should she be the last to eat I get making sure everyone is fed but unless there is something wrong with you serve yourself. My great grandmother was born in 1905 and lived to be 97 she never in all her life did this (she lived with us in her latter life) when food was ready we made our own food and all sat down together to eat as a family.

[@gcastaneda562]

@@krystelhardesty9960 simple. My GRANDMOTHER wanted to be a SERVANT. In her nature you could sense the SELFLESSNESS. To come at me to assume her optics remotely using a keyboard is a joke!

[@alexisc7565]

​@gcastaneda562 F that. If women are making the food, we aren't eating a cold plate. Especially since a grown adult can easily make his own plate. Foh lol

[@daverichards1534]

Chris I love your content especially in regards to these topics, but I have heard you say before that women have been able to accomplish so much more than we expected in society. That is a destiny talking point. The reality is women’s achievements have largely been engineered. More women graduating from college than men (affirmative action) single women making more than men in bigger cities (DEI), more single women home owners (Divorce court), women not required to sign up for draft men are.

[@kennedyjunio6012]

Incredible work Chris. I am a big admirer of your endeavours.

[@d.h.8695]

What a great conversation, thank you both!

[@tylermurphy208]

@chriswillx can we do a poll on men who watched vs women who watched

[@mr.mayhem7402]

Probably 99.9 percent men to 0.01 percent women. Women really aren't interested in this stuff.

[@clarkkent4683]

The adverts coming up for your channel at present are accusing those who oppose Woke of being manipulative in sophisticated ways. The left project like narcissists. Could be the topic in a future video.

[@thatguy-gl3zl]

Because they are.

[@bobcharles7933]

(I have not yet watched this, but will when I get time). I have one continuous complaint about Reeves and many others. They are great at identifying the problem but what is their prescription for fixes? 'Man up'? That's it? He has argued that you can help boys/men without taking away from girls/women, in that he does not want to accept that it is a zero sum game. But it is. You can't raise up one group with out lowering others. The average man in the US has not had a pay raise that equaled an actual increase in their standard of living since 1974. The move of women into the workforce has absolutely come at the cost for men.

[@andrew6815]

At the very least, we can remove the social advantages that have been put in place that have created more of a disadvantaged situation for men than the original problem we were trying to correct. Namely, stop the discriminatory hiring and promotion practice in businesses, and the admissions, enrollment, and scholarship programs in academia, and stop the separate but unequal performance standards across multiple fields. It won't solve the problem but it will help over time. I don't know what you do about all of the bigotry and hatred that has become so pervasive though

[@user-og6hl6lv7p]

Yeh I think it's time things men should receive some form of tax benefit to help even out the playing field. If we're forced to pay taxes, we might as well force them to help us. If men apparently need therapy so badly, then making it free of charge for men seems like a good solution. Men can receive that exclusive health benefit because they need it so badly. I don't see how this is any different from paternity leave or the tampon tax.

[@amorfati6728]

@@andrew6815 They tiptoe around the issue to avoid discussions arout doing exactly that.

[@VastChoirs]

Correct. There's no way out of this without removing DEI and female favouritism programs to allow the market to reach its natural conclusions of more MEN. But both women and men will be happier as a result.

[@PinkyTheCat-again]

The fact that women as a demographic have NEVER been net contributors to America’s welfare economy says all you need to know about the zero sum nature of social malaise.

[@erikrosalez3041]

teary eyed thank you chris

[@Czch82]

Great interview. It’s not necessarily a blue pill to acknowledge that feminism has achieved some critical objectives for women. They were treated poorly for centuries. As a male counselor, I remind men that we are in charge of taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If a man lacks purpose, he will feel depressed and worthless. Purpose, faith, and self-esteem start with inner work. We can’t expect a woman to do it for us. Women are more attracted to men who provide a container to thrive, but it’s not the reverse. A good man plots his path and attacks it. He doesn't need permission. He has values, passions, and goals. He inspired others. I worked with a woman who was a Jungian therapist, and it helped me grasp all of this.

[@mr.mayhem7402]

More man blaming. You'll be saying that young men just need to lift themselves up by their own bootstraps next.

[@Czch82]

@@mr.mayhem7402 I assume my post hit a nerve. I don’t believe I implied that men don’t need community and support; however, men need to be motivated and passionate about their goals.

[@mr.mayhem7402]

@Czch82 You assume far too much, and your shallow glibness reveals that you know little.

[@MrIkOgNiTo]

​@@Czch82 "They were treated poorly for centuries" So were men! Where do people get the idea from that women are historically victims while men did just fine? I mean seriously? Men were treated as poorly as women and even worse. Have you ever heard the term "serfdom"?

[@Colyers]

Why did you switch to Function Health over Mariek?

[@tempsoda]

I understand what he says about the need to fight or defend yourself being less important for men now...until it's not! At which point you're really going to wish you could.

[@sarasotauptoseattle]

Great episode. Thanks for sharing!

[@kimberlybegonia2869]

As a single Mom that brought up two boys to men, now 33 and 37, the women available to them are so deep fried tomatoes 🍅 I don’t know if I’ll Ever be a blessed Grandma anytime soon (64) IDK 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

You sound like one of those Italian moms who babys their sons into their 50s so they never marry.

[@elmair8673]

@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm I just love that the first reaction immediately is back to the sons are wrong, or the one who raised them was wrong. Never that the deep fried tomatoes shouldn't jump into the fryer for starters. no accountability, as we all know

[@abittyman]

Men need more conversations that includes Women My hot take is that these conversations need to be critical about the direction Women have gone. Because what Women choose to do has a profound impact on what Men do, say and feel. We cannot heal if we pretend we haven't been hurt

[@TheBerlinBlitz]

You got quite a lot of push back on one of your guests incorrect comments about glyphosate killing everything it touches, didn’t you? While I agree there should be some slack given for a few errors here and there, to be this monumentally wrong about something your guest was an expert on isn’t a good look. It naturally puts other things being discussed into question.

[@VastChoirs]

1:04:00 I wouldn't say I felt un-needed in the US. I felt more like a host with a parasite I couldn't get rid of. Definitely needed, but it was just a one-way extraction rather than a give and take.

[@Meta4Monky]

This conversation had great chemistry 🤝

[@Photik]

I don't strive for a 10 anymore as I'm in my 30's now. I just want a nice 6 that likes peace.

[@anthonylee3236]

Am proud of you chris; your a beacon and thank you for highlighting this issue in our society. Men are not represented enough nor are their any funding from government bodies. Women so need to be supported but so do men. Please keep up the great work.

[@agriskaminskis9352]

Peterson has reached a status when he cannot be a deliberate idiot in public and "oh well, f that, I'm just a comedian afterall". Credibility and "speak the truth or at least don't lie" is EXACTLY Peterson's domain.

[@Suzanne291]

I am so thankful this conversation is finally surfacing. The pendulum has swung way too far, and it needs to center. I worry that the young men and women are not seeking common ground, and the consequences are very real.

[@njfuentesrespecter81]

Chris was correct. I’m sure his guest is still apologizing for slavery and begging forgiveness from women for not pedastalizing them their entire existence in human history

[@leighhewitt1797]

2:29:00 Not true. The narcissist would be glued to his seat picking out any little tid bit of information that they can use against others. They will also think how great that they have a 3 hour course on just me. I am so great!

[@careandalex48]

Can we make a bro science lottery submitted to universities to study these theories so we can turn bro science into real science. Because it sounds perfectly common sense, but how much common sense does that correlate to science….?

[@youtubeuser1492]

Gotta stay up now to watch this

[@adamhaque963]

It’s 4

[@youtubeuser1492]

@adamhaque963 perhaps there are different timezones. It is 2.20 am where I am. What about you?

[@misteroz]

I admire your forbearance, Chris. One thing that always put me off going into podcasting was the certain knowledge that I’d quickly come to loathe my audience 😂

[@PinkyTheCat-again]

Chris is as robust as an ice cube in a commercial blender. forbearance is not a skill I would ascribe to him

[@EPFForsyth]

I coach here in El Paso TX, and we are doing pretty good. From what I see about the UK/England is insane. It looks like the UK government hates its men/ native population. Those are things we do not tolerate from our government here in Texas, so get out while you can, and we have plenty of room over here, and we all carry guns.

[@PepaIng]

27:48 I feel like it is totally okay to say, "Hey, I don't really understand this, but I have this opinion. Even if that opinion is very controversial. But I do have a problem with people having super strong opinions about something they clearly dont understand and/or are very biased about. The podcast space is unfortunately full of those people - smart, charismatic, with very specific expertise, talking about all kinds of conspiracy theories. But I guess thats what people want to listen to and podcasts are a business like any other.

[@x-cr8ib]

bring Eberstadt back on

[@KasunGamage]

I'm glad to see Richard Reeves back here again. Some of the few men today positively walk with men.

[@8PurpleSquirrels]

“The only lives that truly matter are those who respect the lives of others” - God said that, I’m only repeating it

[@davepenny1199]

In the point about having to "over explain" and backstopping every statement....20 mins scaffolding the "thing" before or during speaking about the thing. Is exhausting! And carries a certain amount of avoidance tax. And perhaps is a reflection of a deeper issue. Communication in general. As we lean into the "age of individualism" We put aside the graces tolerance and patience we learn wguoe living in a dynamic community.... " I don't need to play be common (community) etiquette. I am "wealthy" enough to stand on my on hill with a megaphone and tell you my truths. And to be clear😂😂😂. I am with you Chris. And here (shared space) to learn like you. And that can sometimes when back in one's on company (thoughts). Can be uncomfortable. Maybe a possible mechanism of humanity's possible downfall. Might be as simple as that. Losing the ability of HOW to talk with people, to have wide ranging conversations????

[@betlamed]

Hm. I wonder what happens if you apply that banning rule to itself. And now I wonder if I'm already shadowbanned.

[@derrick021]

oh, the moustache is still there, oh dear lord

[@JohnPretty1]

One factor that is often forgotten is that prior to the advent of birth control healthy young women (under 50) usually had multiple pregnancies. In the past women's lives were naturally dominated by child rearing. That left much less time for thinking about a career. Furthermore, the feminist obsession with workplace equality is very much a middle class notion and most women AND MEN in the past were not that privileged. Both sexes were just doing what they could to survive and that sometimes meant doing difficult and dangerous jobs.

[@alexisc7565]

Thank God for birth control! Most women I know don't want their life "dominated" by miserable, painful pregnancies and monotonous childrearing!

[@marsrobotcs]

Yeah bro get to the point, the intro is so niche and only applicable to podcasters

[@tylercrooks8659]

3:54 boom. If you hate having to walk on eggshells , those are the intolerant people. Fuck em. Speak to those that are willing to listen to nuance and grow!

[@Photik]

Please interview the authors of "Men Uncivilized" Travis Boehm, or "Men's Work" Connor Beaton.

[@zacar0ni]

Connor Beaton has been on twice

[@zachbrown9031]

Excellent conversation. Appreciate the work Reeves is doing and the measured, data-driven tach he takes in turbulent cultural waters

[@Ken-uy8vs]

Another men falling behind interview. Keep simping Christopher.

[@daverichards1534]

What?