The Hidden Pain Men Aren’t Allowed To Talk About - Richard Reeves

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you savages. Get 50% off your first Factor Meals box at factormeals.com/MW50 Get expert bloodwork analysis and bypass Function’s 300,000-person waitlist at functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get a 20% discount on your first order from Maui Nui Venison by going to mauinuivenison.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get a 20% discount on the best supplements from Momentous at livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Here's the timestamps: 00:00 How the Conversation Around Men’s Issues Has Changed 09:46 Why People Have to Add Caveats So Frequently Today 20:54 Allowing for an Accuracy Budget 36:24 Advice for Handling Inflammatory Topics 41:50 Why is Advocating for Men So Difficult? 48:18 The American Institute for Boys & Men 1:02:09 What is Causing More Men to Commit Suicide? 1:06:04 How Men & Women Experience Neededness Differently 1:22:09 The Huge Increase of Unnatural Male Deaths 1:32:51 When Women Don’t Feel Needed 1:45:31 Do Women Attempt Suicide More Than Men? 1:50:39 The Target Audiences of the Harris/Walz Campaign 1:59:02 Why the Democratic Party Has Neglected Men 2:15:35 Is Therapy Effective for Men? 2:21:31 Having Positive Male Mentors 2:37:58 What Richard Has Learned About Working-Class Men 2:54:42 Where to Find Richard

[@Carpe-Diem-gg1hg]

Hi Chris

[@criticalThinkerLad]

The English recognise Gaza and Israel founded in 1948 but they dont recognise Ireland wales and Scotland as sovereign nations its quite Disturbing how they dont recognise their own narcissism. Secondly Criticize capture is another interesting term for Here is an excuse why im right. In trust in peoples intelligence to be able to think Critically for them selves and to be able to debate and criticize to convince people to come to a common agreed upon mind set. If i Criticised the round earth theory i will probably loose the debate

[@damiangrouse4564]

On two of the subject: having to “contextualize”women’s problems into a discussion about men and “my wife is an expert on climate change” Peterson need not apply. Good jiujitsu counters…I’m sure he noticed and had to swallow hard.

[@jasonu3741]

I am surprised you did not mention the reasonable suicides the ones where the person situation is such that its understandable if not condonable.

[@EqualSharedParenting]

Richard Reeves has serious thinking problems. 55:15 he says the divorce courts are doing a pretty good job.

[@John-wf5if]

Reasons I feel "left behind": 1) I can't afford a house. 2) Thus can't afford to even contemplate starting a family. 3) My country (UK) is undergoing such large levels of immigration it is changing the culture(s) I grew up with and altering society for the worst. Leaving me with a lack of "connection" to my homeland. I'm sure many of you will see this divisive one differently. 4) The relentless attack on masculinity in the West. 5) The Internet - which has many positives - has whittled down in-person friendships and spaces.

[@paulhodges8288]

Thank Cambridge Analytica and Boris the Moron for pushing Brexit.

[@bawseeeee602]

Guys like you always complain about simple issues. In reality you just need to man up and find a path forward. I am a man in the UK I am thriving. Stop the excuses bro...

[@LustyBatch]

Can you explain what masculine traits are being attacked? I always hear that masculinity is under attack, but masculinity is a set of behaviours and traits, so which behaviours and traits specifically are being attacked?

[@albertlevins9191]

Bro. Me too. The USA is having the exact same problem but with different faces involved. I too, cannot afford a house. In fact, I just recently became so poor that I can no longer afford to have a car. Oh well, guess I gotta get to work. Maybe a bike will solve this problem. Either way, it isn't just you.

[@PJGenovese251]

I feel you brother that stuff is important and not having it is like living an incomplete life. But f’ it maybe thats Gods way of telling you to focus less on money and material things and more on the spiritual. I only want a house so a girl will move in it with me and start a family😂. Nice comment though. God bless

[@MrZuriax]

Thank you for that opening dialogue. Men can't just have their own thing, even a conversation on their issues, without shoehorning women in as well. It's frankly exhausting but proper context especially in the modern age IS important.

[@philipc8280]

someone has to go through and clear out the landmines to open up the conversation. Richard is very intelligent for his measured approach. he’s opening up a pathway for others

[@christophercollard3284]

Im almost 50 year old man. Its been clear there is no help or care for men. My ex kidnapped my kid, left me homeless, stole my car and two grand from my parents. I had to fight to be a weekend dad, which took away 99% of my income as a freelancer. 14 years later Im barely back on my feet and shes been collecting social security checks the entire time. It has been a very lonely decade. She seems to play victim and gets sympathy and accolades for her bad behavior. I get nothing but swallowing down my pain.

[@BubuRuzu]

Same happened to me.

[@BlahBlah-l4c]

Even as children, we come to understand this. Most of Gen X had no true support system. And the boys of this generation had nothing to do or practice but survival.

[@federoffm]

A big part of "getting lost" is not knowing where to go in the first place. Being in my 50's, I remember the sequence we were all expected to follow "back in the day". Finish high school, finish college/trade school, get married, have babies. These benchmarks (which were expected to be done by your mid 20's, btw) were the "guardrails" that kept us on the path and moving forward to adulthood. And they worked. Yes, some found the "guardrails" confining. But what happens when you take away guardrails? People fall off the cliff. Which is what is happening now.

[@zac9933]

I like your analogy. I might twist it a little and compare it to bowling. People had been playing with the bumpers up, they made didn't always get a strike but they at least knocked a few pins down. Now we put the bumpers down and can't figure out why everyone is getting gutter balls.

[@federoffm]

@@zac9933 That is a superb analogy. I will use it in the future. Thank you!

[@njr819]

Ironic that anger or even just minor frustration is so unacceptable but the broad range of inappropriate emotional fits of women are literally all okay. Gotta love double standards.

[@johnathanmandrake7240]

It's because governments truly fear men in our age bracket. They must commit every possible act to have us not look at them. But what they fail to understand is their actions to try to make us blind only open our eyes more.

[@Triaxx2]

Because being angry makes you dangerous. Being assumed to be dangerous, makes you angry. Thus to those who think that way, the cycle is self-fulfilling. There is no escape from that cycle.

[@Photik]

Be dangerous, but not a danger.

[@thisisfyne]

@@Triaxx2 Being angry is a totally acceptable emotional state like any other. Being dangerous though, that depends on character.

[@arx5638]

@@thisisfyne It's not acceptable for women...

[@dement242]

Maybe they dont "feel left behind" or "are struggling", maybe they do not want to go in the direction that society is moving, maybe they are flat out refusing to demean themselves with constructing this "brave new world".

[@Strelnikov10]

Very well put.

[@Throwaway-x9e]

Yup

[@Throwaway-x9e]

In 100s of hours of podcasts, NO ONE ASKS THE MEN WHY

[@Doberman_6773]

@@Throwaway-x9e This is because the answers may not comfortably fit in with certain narratives.

[@rentaleper3816]

Yes 100% correct. Men discovered that fighting against it is pointless, so the remaining option is to check out.

[@timiwithane]

No Chris, the same way you apologized when doing the Q and A after being accused of being a misogynist , you’re allowing this guy to tell you that it’s okay to add caveats to damn near every statement and include women when talking about men. No, you were right the first time, don’t let this guy try to gaslight you. You shouldn’t have to say “It is true women have endured x in the past…” No, it should be absolutely okay for men to talk about men’s issues without having to include women.

[@bubbles5071]

Look, I would like for that to be the case as it's important to hold the space for those in question. However, admittedly but not ashamedly, I am a woman myself who has an experience of being surrounded by a variety of people of different upbringings and backgrounds, and from my POV, I think society hasn't matured and reached to that point yet, thus which is why Richard phrased it as "women put up with X over Y years" etc. The conversation between Chris and Richard goes on to saying how Richard has a wife and a daughter, so he is aware there is suffering women go through, which is why saying the caveats doesn't bother him. I say this as a woman that says the caveats for men's mental health issues during conversations around women's mental health issues, and I have experienced the backlash for doing so, but choose to continue to acknowledge suffering is suffering regardless of something like gender. There is a possibility that my perspective is unique to my experience but isn't relevant to yours, and that's totally okay 😊

[@NoctecPaladin]

​@@bubbles5071 this is the way. We can all benefit from a little bit of altruism

[@TheQuixoticRambler]

Yes. Agree. And George the Tinmen articulates this well.

[@sonojemal]

Preach. I’m so sick of this shit

[@nts_slmc]

We need to get to the point we all get out of patriarchy understanding what is needed to be done to make sure we all are happy and save. The main issue is women role have been changing for decades but men haven't been that involved in adjusting to the change as they should have.

[@Rowedog]

Male teacher here and NOBODY speaks about the counter-discrimination in the profession. The sense of masculine mentorship is diminishing greatly, both in the classroom and in coaching. I would LOVE to hear a public discourse on this - but, Good luck.

[@theman2731]

That sucks so much, as a kid I had a lot of male teachers who really helped young men and gave them something decent to look up to.

[@justindearmond1]

I was a pair of for 4 years at my children's elementary school. I wish one of the very few male pairs in the entire district.😊 I'm a guy's guy a daddy of five I love children and I'm pretty sure I was supposed to be a teacher but it just never happened so para the next best thing. There were so many kids that had no fathers or male role model in their lives. I took it upon myself to at least show them something anything of what it is to be a father and a man. Because I wanted to be a teacher I'm very educated and very intelligent so I would go from class to class teaching things like world war 1 and 2 units I did the entire grade schools world war I and II and did all the ancient history for the upper grades in the school. I would be walking down the hallway and a teacher would shout hey Mister d come in here and tell us about volcanoes for a minute or whatever I must have gotten a hundred hugs a day from those kids they love me and I love them it was also incredible that I got to teach my own children. I had homeschooled them the previous several years but they wanted to go to public school with their neighborhood friends so I said okay and then got a job up there it was the best most rewarding job I have ever had worst paying job I ever had but the most rewarding I actually was excited to get up and go to work everyday. I'm a construction worker also so I would take the kids when they would misbehave out and we would go trim bushes or shovel snow or throw salt down or do some kind of landscape work. I have an old 83 Caprice classic and park it next to the playground and the kids would come over and show them the engine and how it works. I would routinely at recess take the kids and dig up spiders and we'd find insects and bugs and I teach them all about them. It broke my heart to see so many kids without a father figure. I tried to do what I could for those kids

[@derpyeh9107]

There's a catch-22 situation with the exercise of "recognizing" women in conversations about men. When you do that, you're telling the men who feel left behind that you're not really interested in helping them.

[@calebland6246]

Yeah, it’s almost like this very practice is what made them feel left behind in the first place. At least a culture that says “women are weaker and need protection” would give a man some sense of pride in being more stoic in order to care about women issues, but in the age of “women are the same at everything as men, but also more of a victim” it leaves men scratching their heads

[@chickenfishhybrid44]

​@@calebland6246​ it's essentially the worst of all worlds. "All animals are equal. Some animals are more equal than others".

[@HypatiaReigns]

@derpyeh9107 Aren’t men supposed to be helping men? Isnt that what this podcast is doing?

[@derpyeh9107]

@@HypatiaReigns I'm not sure what you're getting at in reference to my comment.

[@HBgirl99]

As a woman, I get insulted about how I'm supposed to be a victim of society. I'm 63 and have been kicking ass since I was 25 in a male-dominated industry (actuary). I adore almost all the men in my industry. I've never been pressured by any man in an untoward manner (I'm fit and def not ugly). I'm not in a bubble, I travel the country as an industry speaker. The men at the top 100% deserve to be there, just like me. I'm so tired of the feminist narrative that says I've been held back. Ladies, just tune out the noise and get after it.

[@VastChoirs]

Good for you. You legit walked the walk. Actuary is a very challenging career and highly meritocratic.

[@HBgirl99]

@@VastChoirs Thank you! As a numbers person I had to look that word up ;)

[@ramsa01Yt]

The conversation, however, here is not about women being lied to by feminists. The conversationis about taking away future from boys. After multiple years of being abused, suddenly this becomes a "problem which affects women and girls" - there are no enough "eligible men" for 50% of them. And they dare to accuse those same boys who have taken their lives.

[@ramsa01Yt]

What about the boys who get a message from those same feminists, but the message ends up in an action to delete themselves?

[@GupStar]

Thanks! Would be great to have more women speak up like this 😊🎉

[@notdeadyet61]

How can women show our appreciation for all the hard work men do? I am truly thankful.

[@kevinpankanin6222]

Just smile and be kind. Maybe dress a bit feminine. The kindness and respect will be reciprocated. And men will think that the world is a beautiful place worth working hard for

[@tjhammer24]

​@kevinpankanin6222 you're correct. It really isn't that difficult but it's really dependent on how that female way raised from childhood. Needed to be raised in an environment with a masculine father whom she respected. That kind of woman is seriously in tiny monitor

[@EqualSharedParenting]

@@tjhammer24 Yes. We now have decades of children raised by solo moms who married government to drive away the children's fathers. These adult children fill the government employee jobs and behave as tyrants who demand their way only as their solo moms did, because their fathers weren't in the home to teach balance and empathy for others. Government has monopoly and immunity to terrorize.

[@EqualSharedParenting]

​@@tjhammer24 censored truth - Yes. We now have decades of children raised by solo moms who married government to drive away the children's fathers. These adult children fill the government employee jobs and behave as tyrants who demand their way only as their solo moms did, because their fathers weren't in the home to teach balance and empathy for others. Government has monopoly and immunity to be tyrants - the reason for the Declaration of Independence - read it!

[@chickenfishhybrid44]

​@@kevinpankanin6222 this will sound weird to people, but it crazy how special it seems just to see women in a dress these days.

[@PulpHerb]

So the fact that peak men didn't suffer what women and the majority of men suffering means the descendants of those men who suffered are supposed to apologize for privileges their ancestors did not enjoy? Because that's what I hear when told men have to acknowledge the suffering of women in the past.

[@um536vids2]

Unironically yes that is what he believes, because he further believes that: if the men of today apologize hard enough, eventually we will all forget what men and women even are, just as we no longer track the lineages of those peak men. He believes that the apologizing is only temporary, although he has no idea when it will end.

[@chickenfishhybrid44]

Correct, same concept as white guilt or privilege essentially.

[@Eleonoor]

Also: In the past, life sucked for EVERYBODY. In 1924 (not THAT long ago...) a guy died from getting blood poisoning due to a blister. This guy was the son of the President of the United States of America. Life sucked for absolutely everybody. Different types of suck for different types of people, but pretty damn close to hell for everyone for most of human history.

[@spudruckus7297]

Agree! I feel the same way about the ethnic grievance culture. I don't want my children expected to atone for privelage and mistakes made by people generations, sometimes 100s of years ago, up to and including constant monetary compensations, job placement & promotion & college acceptance, and having our history changed and erased. I am over it.

[@manifest2203]

That’s not how it should be understood. The fact that wmn did su55er hardships before means wmn aren’t going to give up their opportunities for mn. Everyone has had their own struggles. Avg mn should now work like everyone else. That’s what it means.

[@Beastjon21]

It is weird to see that the perception is more important than reality. Most people still percieve that certain groups like women are disadvantaged, but the stats are saying otherwise. Throw in grifting and fear of being canceled really muddies the waters.

[@manifest2203]

The thing is most mn don’t want to be decent to be with. They lo6ve listening to dudes like Andr6ew Ta8te and so on. Healthy mn who preach for good fathrhood and h8usbands are boring for most mn. They simply want content which blmes wmn in ways which defy all logic. Wmn are disadvantaged in reltionships.

[@dotgietler]

75 year old retired teacher here...50 years ago I was so impressed by the children of my school's cleaning staff, who accompanied her on the job and had designated work to do (gathering and emptying trash cans, etc), that I concluded they were such great kids because they had real responsibilities and that their family counted on them to fulfill them. As a kid, I always had such responsibilities around our house and then as a teen at my dad's hardware store. EVERYONE NEEDS PURPOSE...men, women, kids. The day after bringing home a Labrador puppy I opened page one of the dog training manual and read this, "A Labrador retriever needs a job to do!" Work today can feel empty and meaningless. Men without a family to care for struggle to find a job that means anything to them. Disconnected, feeling worthless and guilty for not having the answers and not finding meaning, men are especially hard-hit by this because they need to feel respected above all else, and know they are not.

[@randyrandall2148]

It's too bad that RIchard has no interest in men and the divorce process. So many of us have been fraudulently accused of domestic violence, had our children taken from us, end up losing our assets and then even have to pay for our ex-wives to live a comfortable life, it's unimaginable and hugely unfair. And the fact that family law and the divorce process promotes such in our world (it's no longer the 1950s) is undoubtedly the reason for many suicides and even murder, suicides. Considering divorce stats, this should be one of the leading areas for all men, and the women who love them, to seek real change.

[@plemcam]

Yeah, his comment on the divorce courts "doing a pretty good job" was an incredibly dumb take.

[@PS-qn4oz]

Are the courts really so weak that a man can't defend himself from fraudulent allegations? Do they just take women at their word with no witnesses or evidence?

[@JSM-bb80u]

Do you think it's easy to falsely prove domestic violence and get reparation? How do you know those men didn't commit domestic abuse in the first place?

[@PS-qn4oz]

@@JSM-bb80u I don't know if you're allowed to ask that. I said something similar and my comment get removed.

[@JSM-bb80u]

@@PS-qn4oz KZbin's sensorship is annoying.

[@daverichards1534]

When gender gap is brought up there are all kinds of gaps that don’t benefit men that don’t get brought up. A big one is the gender empathy gap. Where people are much less likely to feel empathy for men, whichever gender you are. BUT related to wage, let's talk about the: Dangerous job gap Die on the job gap Electrocuted to death gap Crushed to death gap Fall to their death gap Injured on the job gap Undesirable/disgusting/dirty jobs gap Work outside in heat/cold gap Shitty hours gap Relocate gap Commute gap Overtime gap Work in bumfuck nowhere gap Work a job that props up the entire infrastructure of society so you can sit in your cushy air conditioned office job gap

[@tempsoda]

I know it probably won't mean much but there is a big (albeit silent) majority of us that do appreciate this work and the men that do it, and completely agree with them being paid accordingly.

[@tempsoda]

@@ireallylovegod I know, I do try and make the case for this if I hear/see it brought up in conversation but those people seem to be pretty to impenetrable to reason 🙈

[@Doberman_6773]

@@ireallylovegod THIS; having the good women who are out there being more open about pushing back against the misandry would do a world of good.

[@Doberman_6773]

@@ireallylovegod I agree; that particular in-group bias (Sisterhood Uber Alles) is going to require dire circumstances to overcome.

[@Doberman_6773]

@@tempsoda Your efforts are appreciated 🙂

[@dannyboy1200]

We are left behind because when women have problems it's expected for society to help them. When we have problem we are expected to fix it ourselves. Then media turns around to talk about how good we have it and how we are not doing enough for women/minorities/LGBTQ groups. But god forbid we take offense to this setup as that would make us misogynists and bigots.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

Im a single woman with one child, no foodstamps, no child support, work at a factory for 18.50 and hour making about 30k a year. No ones helping me and no I didnt expect them too. Men also can receive child support, foodstamps, disability checks, live in government housing, get grants and scholarships and so on.

[@dannyboy1200]

@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm It's very admirable that you are independent. However for stuff such as scholarships and hiring (especially in STEM fields) there is a clear bias for women. If you have grants and position targeted towards women it's perfectly fine. If you have it for men all of a sudden it's discriminatory. That's the type of BS we are upset about. Also just to be clear. Not getting handouts is the default state that most guys live in. It's not some sort of gotcha.

[@Dzamile25]

Regardless of gender, the victim mentality and blaming society isn't the way forward.

[@dannyboy1200]

@@Dzamile25 "This isn't the way forward" well it's sure been working pretty well for women over the past couple decades. Clearly pushing stoically forward hasn't been working for men hence all the problems.

[@SarcasticSyringe]

That's the worse part is constantly hearing how good we all apparently have it over women. Don't get me wrong I'm blessed in many ways and grateful for it but the way they talk about us they make it sound like we're all kingmakers pulling the strings of society 😂😭

[@Ken-uy8vs]

Our fathers did not sin. They fought the world and built a society to protect women and women have decided to burn it down.

[@Photik]

Women continue to fight for every 1% or less of our population for equal rights while men are left to grow on their own. Society isn't helping men at all.

[@noneofyourbusiness3572]

💯 true!

[@tubulartomato4144]

I think that saying that women have decided to burn it down is an unfair statement. I think as a collective both men and women have made the decisions that have put us into this situation. Yes currently women are doing better in our society, but I don't believe that it's because they went out to push us down. Do not attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.

[@johnathanmandrake7240]

Which generation of fathers are we talking about?

[@Ken-uy8vs]

@@johnathanmandrake7240 We know who you're voting for lol

[@jonahtwhale1779]

So much for the Patriarchy! Women's problems can be discussed without addressing men's issues. Men's issues can not be discussed without including women's viewpoint. Does that sound like a Patriarchy or a gynocentric society?

[@chimpwimp9407]

It depends on where they are being discussed. If men's issues are being discussed in a left leaning space then the men will have to coddle to the women. If women's issues are being discussed in a right leaning space then they'll end up being coupled with the men. It all depends on the bias of the group that's witnessing it.

[@mayatse1868]

There's can and there's want to discuss. I am a woman in a male dominated field. There are women's groups who form for support...and others that form to try to move the needle in a systemic way. Absolutely if men want to get together to support one another....by all means exclude women.

[@chimpwimp9407]

@@mayatse1868 I don't think that's true. I think women can be of great help to men. For example you have people like Athena Mutua who helped recognized how black men struggle. You have Soraya Mire, Georgeanne Chaplin and Marilyn Milos who help run groups that fight against baby boy circumcision in the west. When it comes to Apartheid, you have Steve Biko who stated that they needed white people's help to combat racism. Women can absolutely help with men's issues.

[@ramsa01Yt]

@@chimpwimp9407you have hundreds of millions of women, who take away fathers from boys.

[@Legz_inStyle]

@@mayatse1868 That's illegal in most place so no, men can't do that.

[@Doberman_6773]

Society is starting to pay attention to these things for 2 main reasons : 1. Too many of us resource pumps are shutting down; 2. There's a shortage of 'eligible' men (read: high value divorce lotto tickets) to satisfy women's demands if\when they decide to 'settle down'. Men - there are definitely problems to be solved; they just aren't yours.

[@vladtheimpalerofyourmom-ag5112]

Easy solution. Import these high value men from overseas. Problem solvered. Very easy problem to solve.

[@Doberman_6773]

@@vladtheimpalerofyourmom-ag5112 Will the high value men be willing to relocate? And will the men who *are* willing to relocate bring their worldviews with them?

[@Jennthegreen]

Us women avoid men that call themselves "high value" We don't need your money, and if we do, its easier to earn it ourselves.

[@vladtheimpalerofyourmom-ag5112]

@@Doberman_6773 yes and yes.

[@midatlantic09]

@@vladtheimpalerofyourmom-ag5112 This makes no sense. Men in western countries are typically the highest earning men in the world, so who would be imported? Most men from other parts of the world typically don't make nearly as much money as men in the west do. Also, why would the wealthy men in other countries relocate if they're already living great lives in their home country?

[@benrocky99]

After listening to this guy for 2 hours its clear i wont be listening him more. Chris was great as usual.

[@doneanddone4952]

We don't need to include women in men's discussions about men's problems. The solutions don't need to be understood by the world, just you.

[@RochelleJ1000]

I agree with the first part of your statement, but boys aging off to men need some guidance...they need to be heard, appreciated , and understood from the problems they're facing. To off young men and tell them to 'figure it out' is no different than saying, "oh well, you're on your own, figure it out." For example, if there was a march/protest/rally/fundraiser for prostate cancer month (non-existent btw)...I would be the biggest d*ck to interrupt and scream, "what about breast cancer?" If we have breast cancer awareness month, we should have a prostate cancer awareness month as well.

[@pamcollins2178]

Amen! By the way, I’m a woman

[@karlmeaden6868]

We do, however, need one another to find a viable solution forward. We don't live in isolation. therefore, our issues affect each other and require input and understanding from both perspectives. It's not a contest, after all.

[@karlmeaden6868]

@Bennie_x you're clearly single. I'm married and have been for 7 years, so I'm speaking from experience.

[@jorn0142]

Whatever the positive way forward isn’t going to be solved by negotiating at this point. It’s going to get ugly in 20-30 years.

[@forrealforreal588]

If men keep looking for the approval or inclusion of women in men's issue's the progress will stay at zero. Women and male feminists disrupt men from speaking on their feelings and concerns. What we need is the support of more men especially those who aren't afraid to speak their mind and for them to advocate for us so we can solve our own problems. We need to increase awareness and get acknowledgement from other men.

[@pd1596]

The discussion around "neededness" really hit me. I have a good job and a house and all that stuff but i'm in my mid 30's now, still single and see my old friends less and less. It feels very lonely and meaningless. Always thought I would have been a family man by now - wife, kids, looking after mum and dad... But instead I am just fading into the background. Its not a good feeling and I do often asking myself "am i needed". So yeah, this discussion resonated with me.

[@kevinpankanin6222]

Same my man. Except I haven't gotten a house yet. Think I may need to move

[@NoctLightCloud]

​@@kevinpankanin6222I'll also move to afford a house. A life in an urban area isn't really that needed anymore once you're in your 30s.

[@Onetakelifestyle3323]

You’re not needed tho., women want the top 20 percent of men. If you don’t fall into that you’re screwed sadly

[@princetonscholar5723]

You needed a great job and solid net worth to have those things. If you’re underemployed, you are not eligible to young women.

[@wowandrss]

Even a 21 year old woman I'm trying to date, one of her "requirements" is a guy being able to take care of her and give her a good life. What percentage of dudes in their 20s have their own place and can take people to nice vacations whilst covering all bills? That's gotta be like 0.1%? Frustrating to hear from an otherwise absolutely amazing woman.

[@alelectric2767]

People in their early 20s are kids so they don’t know what they don’t know. She’s just repeating what’s she’s heard but doesn’t really know any better. Not trying to insult anyone at this age but I’ve been there.

[@wowandrss]

@@alelectric2767 it's 100% understandable, I can't fault anyone for not knowing what they want yet either.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Isn't that what you guys want? To 'protect and provide' ? Now you complain about it.

[@calebland6246]

There’s a disconnect going on now where you have some lingering concepts of protecting and providing that people want, but also a narrative of “I don’t need to be protected and provided for”. In the past things were more clear to men and women, but since men and women became “liberated” from sex roles, we are getting mixed messages. The OP may not be someone who wants to protect and provide, but is merely someone reacting to these mixed messages with confusion.

[@wowandrss]

@@calebland6246 I'm just saying the expectations don't meet reality. You cannot have most of the western worlds young adults demand the guy who statistically is in the less than 1%. So both sides are going to be unhappy in this world. Guys can't give something unreasonable and women can't expect it either.

[@BruceKarrde]

I do not agree with "well, we should caveat women into the conversation on men." Why? Because currently the Feminist ideology is leading research and manipulating history in favor of women. For example, they will say "women have been oppressed for millenia", well sure - but so was 95% of MEN. The issue is that current Feminists are viewing history from a present day perspective. What they don't tell you is how different society was - 150 days of work and many festivals and holidays. The same Feminists will say that the history that is being taught in school is men's history. And I very much challenge that - because most men weren't Churchill, Columbus, Aristotle, etc. etc. Most men went to the mines, coughed up some coal dust, and then went home. If you were lucky, your wife wasn't ALSO working in the mines. Another part I have questions about is his dismissal or softening of men experiencing domestic violence. I have a mom, I have a sister, and 12 nieces/cousins. I know the gaslighting, bullying, and competition women have. I very well know how capable they are of committing domestic violence. It's not just throwing plates or poisoning. It involves withdrawal of sex in unreasonable terms (like, the man needs to do more and more to satisfy her to even have sex), we have the psychological violence, the economic violence, we have the mothers manipulating the kids to hate their dads. Heck ... the list goes on! But still, we are NOT allowed to talk about domestic violence experienced by men, because it doesn't leave bruises "so it can't be that bad."

[@andrew6815]

Correction: not 95% of men, 99.9% of men and the proportion of privileged men and privileged women were the same. It was socioeconomic (aristocracy) NOT gendered... it still is socioeconomic. I would also love to see a massive study on domestic violence because my experience and the experience of every guy I know is that this perception that men are the perpetrators of SA and women are the victims would go away immediately. If you included verbal and psychological abuse (which you SHOULD as the effects are quite similar) then I'd imagine the conversation would be reversed.

[@okaySam]

Sadly, we'll have to let all of this run it's course. The institutions are corrupted to the core. It will take decades to get to a point where this can't be ignored. We'll get there, but it will take a very very long time.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

​@@andrew6815 Men think any time they dont get what they want when they want they are being abused. Lmao. Yall literally are ending womens lives every 11 mins and trying to compare that to her actually having requirements from you as "psychological abuse"

[@andrew6815]

@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm lmao? Not a serious conversation. Lack of empathy, not engaging with the actual argument... I never said women don't suffer abuse or that it isn't serious. But you immediately minimized the suffering of others. Good luck to you.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

@@andrew6815 Its a laugh or cry situation for me. The original comment said women saying no to s3x should be considered domestic violence against men. Every 11 mins a woman dies of domestic violence and thats just the ones that die. Men are far less likely statictically to be killed by his female partner than a woman is by hers. I minimized mens "suffering" because it IS minimal compared to ours in the domestic violence category. But you want me to feel sad for your hurty feelings that your gf/wife would ever say no to a s3x act

[@theamateursurvivalist9249]

The fact that Obama endorsed his book, and then went on to publicly shame black men for not voting for Harris, lol…ismfh

[@Dexian-j9m]

Probably because of he didn't even read it and had someone else do it for him. Just like a lot of his other books.

[@truthteller4442]

Obama is the antiChrist. All I see is pure evil in those eyes of his.

[@BrookBrayman]

You're writing about points that are more that a month apart. No reason to expect that consistency at that duration. I agree with you, though

[@accidentalfinder4916]

No shit, that was my first reaction. 🤣

[@TyaColo]

That’s because the fact of the matter is, big picture, voting against Trump should have taken precedence over voting purely for self interest, but unfortunately a lot of people in this world are selfish. I’m saying this as a white man who voted for Kamala btw, I know I’m not her target demographic but everything else going on in the world matters far more right now. Too bad many didn’t see that.

[@DeepDishPeteza]

Reeves is wrong when he talks about why men are committing suicide. It’s not because they feel unneeded. It’s because they feel scapegoated. Society isn’t just apathetic towards them, society is hostile toward them. And the fact that this guy, who merely pays lip service to the actual plight, is supposed to be one of our saviors is more evidence of the problem.

[@draighodge6039]

How many fathers have been divorced without cause and forced to surrender their home and half of their assets to their (cheating) ex-wives? Forced to support her boyfriend via child support and denied access to their children except for two weekends per month. It's a crime to ask for receipts showing where all that child support was spent. And the men who learn, belatedly, that their children are really the offspring of other men but the Courts don't care. The wonder is that suicide rates and murder rates are so low!

[@yellowknite9]

Ignore women, Get the Bag, Dodge the Draft. Don't serve a society that doesn't serve you in turn, if someone calls you lazy or entitled they have something to lose when it comes down.

[@edheldude]

If you give up, you've been demoralized, and that's _exactly_ what they want.

[@Whysoserious648]

​@edheldude he's just walking for himself

[@clarkkent4683]

I want to like the guy. He is too happy to effeminise men and not resist what's being imposed upon them though.

[@simonholliday3421]

I think he's got it right when he says (and I'm paraphrasing/intrpreting his words here) if you cut through all the bullshit and call it like it is, you'll alienate a large number of listeners. Its better to moderate the phrasing and reach people, than talk in a tactlessly honest way that will scare them off.

[@okaySam]

@@simonholliday3421 It's not about _how_ he says it, it's about _what_ he says...

[@jcharles8801]

@@simonholliday3421 He says that because he's a coward. He's going to continue to be ineffective because he won't make a stand and fight for what's right. He can't even be honest about what's going on.

[@hermann5347]

I think he is a valuable voice, because he can reach the mainstream and highlights some important issues. But for most men his information is pretty worthless. Nothing we don´t already know. And too much holding back to be actually interesting or though provoking.

[@ddanielsmc]

​​​@@hermann5347He's there to look like there's something purposeful happening. The reality is that there isn't a lot of substance. Things have to become dire and I mean appalling before any chance of addressing any problems.

[@garyfrombuffalo]

Sometimes my mental health gets so bad it doesn’t feel like a choice. It’s like putting your finger over a flame, eventually it hurts so bad you have to pull it alway.

[@dillongarner1]

Same

[@rollyknevels3570]

Same. Make sure you realize that your state of mind will change , whether you like it or not.

[@anonymousanomalous9937]

It's not so much men feeling left behind, it's the effects of young boys being put behind. It's been noted in studies how high earning men, leading men and extraordinary men have a very high amount of confidence. As far as I can tell from everything I've learned, confidence directly correlates with success but the modern man has his confidence taken at an early age. Boys aren't tought to have expectations for others to treat them with consideration. they're told only they're responsible to give consideration to others. When they're treated badly, they're scolded for not having fixed it, but never taught how. Boys grow up being treated horribly if they aren't already all they things the world has decided they should be at their age, regardless of whether or not they've had the opportunity to learn to be. The result is that the modern man has been learning from early childhood to keep their heads down and try not to piss anyone off as a means of survival. Their lack of confidence from this upbringing makes them less capable to such a degree that any given thing they attempt is dramatically less likely to work out. Even now, this isn't acknowledged outside of expressing hatred and disgust toward men who are trying to unlearn these problems. Western culture destroys men's to ability to be successful or develop into a full, proper person. It's learned helplessness being forced on men from early childhood and the vast majority of us will never recover from that

[@Chidar]

This is so true, I went through this exactly.

[@Spice1_]

Thank you

[@MrKoalaburger]

Yeah this was very much me until I joined the Corps. Changed me in a lot of positive ways.

[@carmenricard3332]

When I was a young girl I was also not taught to expect respect from others.

[@philipc8280]

@@carmenricard3332 when I was a boy I was taught to respect women. my sisters were taught to respect themselves

[@SirSomnolent]

It's always a little odd hearing liberal men attempting to grapple honestly with symptoms of liberalism within a liberal framework.

[@heliosteraga6019]

The fatigue comment about constantly being labeled aspects that you do not associate with your identity creating an indifference over time hits precisely. Well said!

[@adamwerner2064]

The exchange around the need to first acknowledge women before discussing men's health at the start was a fantastic exchange. What a great conversation!

[@greenmarin3]

An African saying I find very appropriate for today’s issues is “A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” This is men today.

[@MrStreetninja007]

you have a massively successful podcast you really need to stop caring what people's opinions are of you online

[@Onetakelifestyle3323]

I just can’t believe he agrees with censorship of people that have different opinions. Crazy

[@okaySam]

1:37:00 You can tell from Richards outrage about the article (and some other stuff he said in this podcast) that he's still early in his journey. There's a reason more experiences advocates tell him _"you get more angry as you go on"_ is exactly because this kind of misinformation is par for the course. The deeper you dig in, the more bs you will uncover.

[@Legz_inStyle]

Even a month later this right here is the absolute truth. There is also the issue of not getting angry and not getting upset. Feminism has been outragous and outraged from the beginning and we can't complain on their political success.

[@Bibbo8844hdbks]

After I heard his comments about people who think one dimensionally, I couldn't take him seriously anymore.

[@Photik]

Women raise boys. Men raise men. Get a mentor, build a healthy group of guys that want to be on the same path as you to improve and focus on yourself, redefine what masculinity is (regardless of society's standards or expectations). Seek God. Mental, physical, spiritual, emotional.

[@nKarje]

Seek God? Which one? All of them are unproven and have no evidence. Don't be silly please.

[@thisisfyne]

To the point about therapy: I actually gave up on my psychologist, a woman, because she was too soft-spoken (as one does with childs), not upfront about her thoughts as a specialist regarding what I was expressing, and even had a tendency to minimize what I was sharing (especially in terms of anger, regret, and health concerns). I had consulted with a man before and the approach was very different, and definitely more on my level. Maybe it's a coincidence, but it tells me that maybe men are better equipped to help other men with their struggles, just due to shared lived experiences and how discussing those can go about.

[@edheldude]

I'm a man, and I've been a therapist for 7 years. Get a red-pilled therapist.

[@vern0123-t5j]

I know 2 men already who let other people make their life decisions for them like choosing a wife & then they are not happy. Coz it's not their decision.

[@bolt-dbtfg]

Ask yourself how reliable a "science/profession" is it, when the Gender of the Therapist can make such difference. And then consider a Heart Surgeon... would you accept the medical profession if a male surgeon could fix your heart but a female surgeon is 'less' likely to? At Heart Surgery school they do NOT have different books for the male doctors and the female doctors. So it begs the question, why does a male therapist and the female therapist "deliver" the same science so completely differently? It also poses the question how credible is the science if it cannot (1) Recognise men and women need different answers because they are different And (2). Fails to teach the therapists that the answers MUST be communicated differently depending on if the patient is male or female. This is supposed to be a hundred year+ old science, and they haven't addressed those basics? Which raises the question, how much 'science' is there in therapy at all?

[@thisisfyne]

@@bolt-dbtfg The short answer is that psychology is complex and relates a lot to everyone's uniqueness in terms of life experience, values, trauma, gender, character traits, etc. Contrary to that, everyone's bones or liver, for instance, are and behave roughly the same. They can be influenced a bit by lifestyle choices or hormones or whatnot, but at the end of the day a clogged artery is a clogged artery. You don't need months of discussion that explore the human psyche about it; you just go in and fix it. This being said, there are clear mechanisms by which the mind adheres to that are at the basis of psychology. Just that I think it helps when you and the professional you're seeing are on the same page.

[@vern0123-t5j]

Maybe it's more of a personality fit rather than a gender bias

[@EmpowerEmpathy]

💯Agreed. As a woman, I've observed that many women tend to be increasingly self-involved, especially since the rise of social media. The current cultural climate fosters narratives that enable women to embrace insecurity, often at the expense of their relationships. In this process, they frequently overlook the emotional and intimate needs of their male partners, while simultaneously blaming these partners for being unresponsive to their needs. This dynamic allows them to project their own inadequacies onto men, turning them into scapegoats for their shortcomings.

[@Bfly1211]

I've been living this the last few years. Everything i tried failed

[@simpol-thesimultaneouspoli4196]

Empathy isn't a zero-sum commodity, true. But resources flow according to empathy, and those resources most definitely are zero sum.

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

empathy is zero sum, empathy is a spot light literally. peopole preffer using empathy as a gauge of fairness than integrity because empathy allows unfairness distribution and bias towards groups of people who do not deserve it, a squeaky wheel get the oil kind of method. while integrity will address unfairness and problems fairly, so women and government will avoid that and turn on the shame language and playing victim and crying wolf strats instead.

[@daverichards1534]

It’s so annoying during this voting season that none of the issues that is affecting men gets discussed but all the airtime is given to “women issues”. Democrats package thier platform and have policies that they advocate for women. women’s reproductive rights/abortion, fight to eliminate wage gap, violence against women acts, DEI/affarmitive action. No platform that’s explicitly pro men.

[@Photik]

Conservatives value common sense and not shaming men to be just a more masculine woman in society. Faith and conservative values will go far, I think.

[@Doberman_6773]

@@Photik On these issues, faith and conservatism both aim to ensure that men remain yoked to their traditional roles while doing absolutely nothing about the 'modernization' of women. That's going to be a hard pass and a GFY from me.

[@ludwigvonsowell5347]

When polled the #1 issue among men is the economy. The #1 issue among women is abortion. I forget if it was specifically young men/women or across all age brackets.

[@WoodxUK]

This unfortunately is the polarisation of politics writ large. You would think a conversation on men's mental health, for example, would be a 'progressive' ideology, but to suggest such a thing would cost the Democrats more votes than it would gain them. That sadly speaks both to the radicalisation of the left (in that they would lose their base vote), but also the right. Not a single Republican voter would switch sides if the Democrats had a dedicated campaign about what they would do for men, so why do it?

[@PS-qn4oz]

That's why they lost...

[@bokarhamma1622]

I’m enjoying seeing Chris share his thoughts more throughout the recent conversations. I know it’s been something he’s wanted to work on and it’s incredible to see how it’s progressed in real time.

[@arsenalfish21]

Chris, I understand the entry fee. It's something I think I pay every time I engage with a woman on this topic. It almost always seems to never work though. It's like they forget the entire preface and you have to repeat any way.

[@BLVCK.CREATE]

It doesn’t matter what others think, it matters what you do and how you feel about it.

[@VimDoozy]

Both matter.

[@exposureseries3747]

Ive been backpacking, hiking, mountaineering for years, ever since I was in middle school. Back then, out on the trail you would usually see many more men and groups of men. Most women you'd see were with a boyfriend or husband. Now a day I see mostly groups of women, the occasional solo man, rarely any groups of men, the largest group of men I see is with a girlfriend or wife. The drastic change in who I see out hiking is stunning, every time I go out I come home asking myself where are the men? If you are a single man out there start hiking you'd be one of the tiny few compared to the number of women. Secondly and way more important is spending time out in the wilderness is probably the greatest mental health boost available to men. I spend as much time out in the wilds of Washington as much as I can, every couple weeks. If you're a man/boy and you don't I can guarantee your life will drastically get better with the more time you spend hiking. Don't believe me, go try it! Save yourself its on you go enjoy how amazing this world is outside of the city. Learn to rely on yourself, get comfortable pushing your own limits, drag your friends along and if they refuse go solo. The wilderness will set you free and push you into the man you're supposed to be. Be safe and have fun, there is so much to learn and boundless places to explore. There's no better feeling than pushing yourself all day and finally reaching the summit of a mountain, looking out over everything and realizing you did it, no one else got you there, just you step after step, enjoy the suffering!

[@jorgeromera3861]

Beautifully written. As a mountaineer since I was 14 I wholeheartedly agree. I am 60 now and go on hiking, every other weekend. There isn't anything I love more.

[@wuslatseyyahi]

men are on the computer playing online games. they are still boys. Congrats for being an adult

[@notdeadyet61]

Reading your response made me want to ask,”Can you please bring my son with you?” He became a drug addict, had 10 months of sobriety then lost effective support in 2020. I have always believed learning to live in wilderness is a cure.

[@exposureseries3747]

@@notdeadyet61 I’m sorry to hear that, how old is your son? What is his drug of choice? I became an addict after a bout of cancer, opioids for the pain. I stopped 11 years ago after marrying my wife. An addict must decide for themself if they want to get sober. No one can do it for them. Does he want to be sober?

[@exposureseries3747]

@@jorgeromera3861 couldn’t agree more, my family comes first but the mountains are always calling me. That distant roar ever present keeping me in suspense. Plus I can see them from my town stand tall. God I want to get out again, lol!

[@brettconnolly399]

As someone who was successful with dating in college, I'm finding it nearly impossible these days. It's frustrating because I've dated enough to have landed in now in a nice sweet spot of being assertive and making my intentions known while also making it clear that I'm not rushing things and willing to let a natural relationship develop. I just don't know what else to do at this point. It just feels like the combination of extreme optionality from online dating combined with people being mentally ill from a variety of reasons (emotional baggage, dopamine burnout, medications, political obsession, etc) has made dating feel more and more futile as time goes on. Every year it gets worse. I work remotely so can't meet a girl naturally through my job anymore. There's almost no single women that play pickleball where I go. It's hard randomly talking to people at coffee shops since most people are either working or just popping in to get a drink and leave. I used to love dancing but most women out at dance clubs late at night aren't exactly the type of woman I think would suit me at this stage of my life. I have no real interest in religion anymore, so it feels crazy to try and go to church to meet women if I already find the idea of organized religion rather stupid... What's a guy to do these days?

[@MsLUFC]

If you can work remotely, also away from your country, both thailand and philippines have amazing, well educated beautiful, feminine women looking for YOU! Dont believe me? I am the avg joe here from northern europe, and I found the most amazingly nurtering wife abroad by working remotely. Those were difficult for me to find in my country getting in to my 30s especially. So I took a chance, and look at me now

[@phoebe_pedia]

The thing that consistently confuses me, are the same men who give women a hard time about our "biological clock" and the "declining birth rate" are the same men who want to "not rush things". That kind of language screams f-boy to most modern women I know.

[@andrew6815]

@@brettconnolly399 control what you can control, maximize your own potential (which is highly individual), know yourself (what you want, need, and expect from yourself and others), set clear boundaries and expectations (for yourself and others). If you don't find what you're looking for (which is pretty likely) take necessary actions. As others have suggested, maybe that's widening your search

[@andrew6815]

@@phoebe_pedia it's extremely unlikely that those are actually the same person

[@carolinerondon8934]

​@@phoebe_pedia i think only modern women who have been getting played by men by not setting clear boundaries think like this. Doesnt mean that I dont think men should state their intentions of dating seriously, but it doesnt mean that things need to happen quick either. Allow the dating stages to occur naturally for a healthy relationship to form

[@superBrainwayne]

When you feel lost: - Do some regular sport (running, fitness, whatever) - Get a time schedule (not a brutal one, just a simple... imagine what kind of day you would like to have) - Stop with drugs, smoking, alcohol (at least until you do not feel lost anymore) - Do not try to get connection with women for now (they do not understand issues of men and don't care) Build your life together, give yourself a year or something and then go again for connections with women - Do not complain, judge or criticise others or life itself... just as a principle... it's pointless and only brings in negativity - Help others, just give 10 minutes of your time to others without getting something back. If they expect more, go away. - Inform yourself, start reading books about topics you care about. Start solving problems of others and ask for something in return. - Try to be honest, responsible, empathetic - Take your life seriously, you just have this one. Start Improving it.

[@Bfly1211]

Sounds good for younger men, but at 55 plus your not even noticed

[@StartledNewt]

This is excellent advice

[@ronnie5329]

The whole speech about men and boys coming out of america is drenched in so much misandry, that i am again and again surprised that the platforms allow it up. Especially tiktok is a place where it is being pushed, they know what they are doing

[@phoebe_pedia]

These platforms don't give a shit, unless it's violent. That's why the redpill exists. Misandry, and misogyny are all over.

[@ronnie5329]

As relates to young amerikan men not feeling needed, I think we need to tell them that there is a world outside the US. Even here in europe you might be able to start a new life away from the worst toxicity. Or go to more traditional countries and date more nurtering women, kind, feminine women. Men need to re-find their purpose, whatever that is, but the US also need to look inwards and see how much anger and hatred is bring pushed towards young white boys. And shut it down.

[@daverichards1534]

Yes, the misandry in TikTok is unbelievable. That’s why I have no time for the bashing redpill even though there is toxic elements. Unfortunately sometimes fighting fire with fire is necessary and not cower. The cowering of men is the reason we have the issues we have now

[@phoebe_pedia]

@@daverichards1534 In this instance you're proving them right though. You can not give ground and keep your values. The redpill doesn't just have toxic elements. It's hypocrisy.

[@ronnie5329]

What it takes is someone like Reeves here opening up a conversation about how young working class, or working class men in general are doing. That is needed. And the red pill is not able to do that, it is a response to the misandry put out there. There is a need for support for the working class boys, both in schools and training

[@NeoRelic-o8p]

MEN MATTER!!! MEN MATTER!!!

[@ValhallaWisdomYT]

I genuinely cherish your content Chris, and I've been tuning in for a very long time. As always, there's so much gold in this episode, and I really dislike that you feel the need to caveat everything, and I seriously don't want to contribute to that. Although, and I'm not saying you're not entitled to your opinion here, I just feel that you banning someone for life for one comment, is doing exactly the thing you advocate against. "so we have a blanket rule on the show, there's like a content manager that looks after the comments if anybody says it, unless it's a joke, after they mentioned that I couldn't take him serious anymore it's an immediate ban for life from the channel." You're literally doing the same thing to your audience that you say you can't stand the other way around. I kind of understand you, because you're talking about people who disregards everything a person says because of one "mistake", but aren't you doing the same? Sure, you need to moderate your audience somehow, but I'm not sure this is the correct way. I'm just curious if I misunderstood this. Hope this won't get me banned for life 😶‍🌫😉 (Apologies for my English, it's not my native tongue)

[@jorgeromera3861]

Very thoughtful comment. You are absolutely right. Hope I'm not banned too...

[@ValhallaWisdomYT]

@@jorgeromera3861 Thank you for commenting. At least now I know I'm not banned 😄

[@MasterApprentist]

Diversification of identity and therefore meaning is a fascinating idea. Regarding suicide the most repeated words accross suicide notes are "useless and worthless" hard to find meaning when women lean in together and men are left out alone.

[@OLDKMT]

Maybe the reason so many young men don feel needed, is the constant barage from mainstream media and social media telling them they are useless, unnecessary, toxic, and obsolete. Ive been married for 12 years. Im the primary bread winner in my household. My wife makes me feel needed, wanted, and appreciated every day. Even i have a hard time weathering the constant onslaught from the media constantly telling me that im evil for existing and that not only am i not needed but my existence is detramental to society.

[@jonahtwhale1779]

Women want a guy who has his act together? Yet demand his money on divorce? So which is it - money or competence?

[@chuck1052]

They want it all.

[@okaySam]

There are a lot of competent men who don't care about being work slaves and thus are relatively self-sustaining. I think for most women _"having your act together"_ means actually being financially successful. We should take people at their word. It's interesting that Richard takes a wide statistic (women want high earning men) and then interprets it favorably based on a single conversation he had with a feminist. Just something to think about.

[@perpetualprocrastinator]

@@okaySam Richard Reeves will never be effective with men because his prescriptions are backwards.

[@lauraracquelhannagan]

Hi Chris and Richard, long time listener, first time commenter. At 1.33. you ask an open question ‘what the female equivalent of neededness is’. I think without stating the obvious the crisis of men feeling unneeded is almost the exact inversion of a common feminist critique that women are (pardon the phrase) too-needed, too heavily depended on, and relied upon at times so heavily that there is no room for self because they are occupied with the work of making family units, organisations and events and systems tick over. ‘Women’s work’ leaves many women exhausted, overtaxed and lacking in the autonomy we typify with male careers. Women’s health outcomes often pay the price for chronic stress - something distinct but not alienated from the tragedy of male suicidality - both threaten healthy lives. It seems so tragic that we haven’t balanced the scales - there is enough ‘need’ of others to go around so that we all play vital roles, if only we could pull away from the dialectical model of blaming either sex for the victimisation and particular pains of the other. To live as one human endeavour, we need to find new models of defining the sexes which can shift the conversation from placing blame and guilt, to locating our common stressors and pains, despite them presenting in our experiences differently to date. I often observe that to find the ‘equivalent’ in the opposite sex, more often than not is not a parallel experience - but an inverted one. *Not to disagree with Richard’s view about post-menopausal unneededness, which I feel is the parallel thread.

[@sukiverdee6982]

Amazing food for thought there. Better than I could encapsulate.

[@jonahtwhale1779]

Men are perfectly sure about the need and value with which they are regarded by society. The problem is the terrible attitude that society has to men. Look at Ukraine - in 2022 the Women were allowed to flee to safety abroad, the men were stopped at the boarder and conscripted to fight. Why is the safety of women prioritized? Will these two groups get the same civil rights in Ukrainian society? The ones who were forced to risk their lives given nothing more than the cowards who fled?

[@Photik]

The women went on dating apps and found new men in different counties and started Onlyfans while the men died for their country. That is equality.

[@Whysoserious648]

Suddenly everyone forget equality now 🫥

[@PS-qn4oz]

Why do men blame women so much more than they blame their fellow men? As a woman, I'm perfectly aware of how other women and their actions negatively impact my life.

[@Leftists_are_Losers]

Haven’t watched the video yet. I’m expecting the video to say something like … society has spent the last 50 to 75 years empowering women and disempowering men, men are now so far behind that they have stopped caring. I’ll edit this post if my opinion changes after I watch the video.

[@Gheir-xe4mv]

A huge issue for men who do not have college degrees in regards to family and children is the insane weekly work hours that are sometimes required of them in relation to a woman's expectation of a partner who will share (a lot more than in the past) responsibilities of children. Their white collar brethren do not as commonly have the work hours issue.

[@williamtuite1120]

White collar men work extremely long hours. I’m blue collar with white collar friends. They work long hours

[@Gheir-xe4mv]

@@williamtuite1120 off the top of my head I can think of 5 white collar workers I know all of them work mon-friday 8 hours during the day. I'm not saying your're lying but it would be cool to see stats on this.

[@grannyannie2948]

It never fails to confuse me why couples today argue about house work. Less than a hundred years ago house work included boiling cloth nappies, diapers, to sterilize them every day. Handwashing everything else and hanging on the line. Milking the cow and making the butter, tending the poultry for eggs and growing much of the families fruit and vegetables. Making jams and pickles. Heating water on a woodstove for washing dishes or taking a bath. Mending and making clothes. Cooking every meal from scratch and ofcourse cleaning. And all this done with children underfoot. And yet today most of this work is done by pushing buttons on appliances and yet couples argue? As for working men working longer hours, in my country it depends. If you work outdoors, for example, you get paid Not to work if it's raining or the weather is too hot, unions insist.

[@el_dragon170]

It is wild to me that these guys don't get it. They have all these statistics, but it is like they don't go outside (or work in an office). It is a zero sum game. Almost all of the mens groups, gyms, and societies have been targeted by "progress." IF you allow these groups, they will naturally become powerful. This will create a power imbalance with women, who are strapped with different biology. The government's goal (sometimes stated) is to make up for that gap, thus enforcing equity. The problem with this approach is that eventually men will just check out. The gears stop grinding. John Galt shows up. A society can live without strong women. It will perish without strong men. We are at that point now. It is time to get the popcorn and watch the show.

[@michaelwalker4961]

Yeah, I can't put my finger on it or articulate it, but there is just something off about him. Like an A.I programmed by a women trying to convince men of something

[@judesawakening]

Chris you’re so heated up on this topic! 😂 I love how it’s a sore spot and you’re still showing up as a pod caster. I love to see you become more unattached as you know deep down that you do care about women and you’re not all those things that you’ve been accused ❤of

[@BrunenG_YT]

Knowing that Chris wants me to be out there doing my thing actually gives me strength to carry on, thanks man.

[@dontarguewithidiots7459]

It's CULTURE BRO - even if we cannot articulate it as such. We can FEEL IT on some level. And who is in control of the culture? Progressives. Denigrate, dismiss, blame, and chastise men for DECADES at this point and you wonder why men are going Republican??

[@billusher2265]

what have republicans done for men?

[@Reglaized]

@@billusher2265Not attack them

[@billusher2265]

@@Reglaized letting corporations contaminate water and lower our testosterone and sending us to get maimed in the Middle East aren’t attacks?

[@Arthurio99]

​@@billusher2265To be honest I kinda agree. Republicans have done nothing for men. But Democrats literally despise men and try to give women even more advantages then they already have

[@derpyeh9107]

@@billusher2265 I don't need them to do anything for me. I just want them to not get in my way. Republicans aren't trying to take my/restrict access to guns, censor my speech, raise my taxes, over-regulate my business, or inflate the supply of labor by importation.

[@CindyReynoldsAdvocacy]

Thank you for openly discussing suicidality. I'm a cluster headache patient and a woman. Cluster headache has been nicknamed the suicide headache. The diagnosis first appears in the medical literature 1600s. The male to female ratio was thought to be 17:1 for centuries BUT the bias was in the gendering of primary headache. Men; Clusters, Women; Migraine. Thinking about the effects layers of cultural biases have on sooo many as I listened

[@philipsankot8003]

It took 2 hr and 22 min before someone mentioned fatherlessness...

[@mr.mayhem7402]

Thank you. You saved me from wasting 2 hours of my time.

[@bandita2068]

just wait a bit more, not long now they will debate what is a father and call women fathers if they feel like it...

[@_BirdOfGoodOmen]

​@@mr.mayhem7402careful you'll get banned!

[@cheeks7050]

Why would you judge whether or not you've struck the right tone by the reaction of a scared feminist? That's so weird.

[@Zaff-bq3sw]

Tbf, if you're trying to change someone's mind then looking at the people who need to change most is a good indicator of success. Those of us who understand don't need to be convinced because we already know.

[@chickenfishhybrid44]

​@@Zaff-bq3swlarge swathes of the population, at least in the US dont identify as feminists. Seems like more of basing a movement or discussion based on an elite or fringe minority of the population.

[@kwyatt261]

The sense of feeling unneeded. I look around me and see that I've been the best employee at every job I've had; I see the need for my ability to care deeply about the work I'm participating in. I don't see a willingness to cultivate skills in people with that perspective. I don't see an incentive to take on the kind of responsibility society approves of.

[@edheldude]

Start working for yourself, and build a business that is a reflection of you and your values. The bar is really really low. You can outcompete the bottom 95%.

[@EditioCastigata]

I’ve been there, mate. Cannot say what worked for me will work for you, but I applied with that attitude at other companies, all the time being open about it. I’ve changed companies, now am in a position with more influence. Big win-win. Don’t just suffer through - put yourself on the market.

[@davidbooher5559]

Chris was big mad in this podcast. And I don’t blame him one bit!

[@YourLocalDudude]

As a young man, I have such a nuanced view of what the world is becoming. It’s becoming a world where you are silenced if you are not ‘politically correct’, and embracing your masculinity. That’s my complaint on the left side of the aisle. My other complaint is that men are put down if they show any sort of emotion or kindness towards others, and society trying to build a box for men and shoving them in that category, with any sort of resistance towards that, society would label you ‘not a real man’ or a ‘beta’, or ‘gay’. I’m tired of being a man and getting pushed like I’m the monkey in the middle, feeling like I have to conform to this tribal definitions on what it means to be a man. Here’s my definition of being a man: a person who has xy chromosomes and male sexual characteristics. To add on that, there’s nothing wrong with biological sex, but even talking about biological sex is now demonized. As a man, I just want to live free and enjoy life, not having to be a sheep controlled by others and their definitions and boxes. That’s how we can solve our crisis, is stop demonizing men for being men, and also stop pushing so much unrealistic expectations on them that it’s so unfair. These gender wars need to stop, and society needs to stop demonizing everything, everyone and stop shoving people into constructed boxes. I just want to be a free man, not a controlled drone. We need to stop being slaves to our own mentality.

[@_Pyroon_]

As it relates to obligatory referencing of suffering women when ever talking about men's issues, his argument appears to be that it's sensible due to the past. However, this appears to also occur in areas where men have consistently suffered at greater rates, such as self termination, and even in these cases, this 'acknowledgment' is present if not predominant.

[@VickiPeers]

Many women feel ‘over needed’, like they carry the weight of everyone. And it’s actually nice to feel “wanted, chosen” rather than “needed”

[@accidentalfinder4916]

Talk about splitting hairs, jeez. 😆

[@edheldude]

Your feelings are your responsibility. These internalized burdens and negative emotions are something you need to work on. Getting - and constantly needing - validation is part of the problem, not a solution. It just perpetuates the internal issue which will never get resolved.

[@johnnyboyvan]

Life is dull 😑 and social media has ruined our lives by comparing to others. We are all doomed!! Humanity is failing .

[@williamkimmins3737]

Mr. Reeves, to point something out to you from the opener with your own words, I had to keep reminding myself that I agree with you. Frankly, the constant having to add disclaimers or virtue signals in order to speak about the struggles and difficulties of men is exhausting and enough to cause me to simply go find someone else to speak with. Having to essentially constantly say "but I know my problems aren't that important unless viewed through the lens of other movements" is part of why we have such a gap in society today, and you are not helping with it.

[@ghostcog]

Justified frustration. The conversation about men absolutely needs the ability to be discussed as independently as women's issues are. I expect it is a function of many people's inability to care past themselves...

[@A_British_woman]

I'm so needed by all in my family. I was always naturally deeply empathetic. It led to codependency tendencies and worked on it later in life. Damage was done though. I'm the family either the rescuer,/scapegoat/hero. There's a fine line between being needed, used and abused. As the mother of sons and a daughter, I've heard my 22 year old son speak of not feeling good enough to approach young women today want more than he can give. My 26 year old daughter says young men can't be trusted.

[@ddanielsmc]

It would be worth seeing how these views were formed. Was it independent thought or other influences e.g. filriends, media etc.

[@PS-qn4oz]

As a woman with four sons and a husband who doesn't seem interested in making sure they grow into capable adults I am basically just getting by with wishes and prayers.

[@A_British_woman]

@@ddanielsmc It's the family set up. I was the oldest and my mum believed that the oldest daughter in a family had to grow up fast and be like a little mother to her siblings. She voiced this many times that her oldest sister was this for her. Myself and my kids have been in broken families too.

[@perpetualprocrastinator]

@@PS-qn4oz Whenever I hear women's indictment about husbands , I always think it is the effect and not the cause i.e. half-truths.

[@xandr4870]

When we are discussing these problems without prostrating, we know we have come to a more fruitful place of discussion and conversation

[@Louis-wp3fq]

We need MORE women in politics? Oh boy...

[@RPcropland]

People who say that never read history

[@jcharles8801]

Women have proven to be no less corrupt and self-interested than men, despite the talking points.

[@Whysoserious648]

We really don't at least nowadays

[@Azazel-uv3sx]

I honestly dont feel like the conversation around men and boys and their wellbeing currently is becoming more accepted by the mainstream as much as it is simply bolstering the already-developing counter culture that had existed for years in the cases of Rumble, Gamergate, Discord communities and the other fragmented parts of all the misfits and undesirables to the current political paradigm. That undercurrent is still viscerally hated and we're currently at a state in time where all conversations about politics are merely traps meant to ensnare the other in word games and rhetorical tricks to try and fit them to a pre-constructed strawman. I don't think data matters whatsoever when you still have to fight and argue about stuff ranging from Rittenhouse to sexual dimorphism and its relationship to sports performance... I feel like its just forming a bigger and bigger island and each new person brings their own boatload of sand to help build up the island. We're not connected to the mainstream but they can see us out on the horizon and hate it

[@abittyman]

Men need more conversations that includes Women My hot take is that these conversations need to be critical about the direction Women have gone. Because what Women choose to do has a profound impact on what Men do, say and feel. We cannot heal if we pretend we haven't been hurt

[@midatlantic09]

Not sure what having more conversations that include women are supposed to do. Many of them have already committed to pursuing a certain life path in which starting a family isn't all that high on the priority list. Instead of trying to negotiate with women like that or get them to consider a different path, men who want long term relationships, children, and a solid family life may need to get creative and start going where they are not only needed, but wanted and appreciated. For example, for men in large cities, that may mean relocating to a more suburban or rural area, or maybe even to a different country where the culture and overall dating climate better suits them.

[@sarahmerritt4120]

This was SOO good! I am so grateful for this episode.

[@mstorgaardnielsen]

There might be an issue of female power. Perhaps there’s something we’re not quite getting. Husbands loosing their friends may of course being due to men. However, in some cases wives may more or less intentionslly “nudge” their husband away from too frequent male-male socializing. Especially with the wrong friends. It i always assumed that men have almost unlimited amounts of agency. But considering the demands of marriage, can (good) men just do as they please? Can their newly married friend also do as they please? Or are they expected to put wife, work, children first and make do with what freedom is left?

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

I used to be happy when my husband would hang out with his male friends but as his friends got married they drifted...then he started hangin out with the women he cheated on me with 😂

[@jeffweatherby5279]

As a young center right man who grew up in a feminist/progressive household, I just wanna say I've never misunderstood your intent, Chris. It has remained quite clear to me that you value the intrinsic dignity of all humans and are looking for a better way forward

[@Scherfix15]

2:28:30 Hearing the thesis on the duality of warning men on bad behavior like don't be pushy regarding men who should be more assertive take it to heart describes perfectly accurate my problem to find a partner. Beeing shy and hesitent out of fear it might make someone uncomfortable all my life already combined with beeing told for years about disrespectful behavior of men towards women especially when it comes to the allowance body contact in school resulted in me having almost a panic attack everytime it is expected of me to make a move to get closer. All out of fear I might be doing too much. For so many times this was the sole reason why it didn't work out in the end.

[@vital.elements]

2:50 Right off the bat, I adore this! First, I appreciated Mr. Williamson's impassioned philippic against the tyranny of mandatory caveats, being targeted by both sides for standing in the middle, and, most of all, why this makes it difficult for men and boys to have a space in which to offer and receive support in a time of critical need. For those of us who care more about function than form and who value the virtues of the middle way, especially with regard to meeting the needs of a group that comprises half of our total population, his rousing call-out was cheer-inducing. Then, I was struck and impressed by Mr. Reeve's sober and insightful response. He made great arguments for honoring form as a courtesy and an inducement for those who value form over function and as a way to draw us all to a more central place of understanding and greater accord. Both gentlemen were attentive and respectful throughout this exchange, and I really admired the way that Mr. Williamson fought his corner regarding the oppression and absurdity of the current political climate while still acknowledging and agreeing with Mr. Reeve's points about cultivating good will to bring people together and further the cause at hand. I understand that there is a time and a place to acknowledge the struggles of womankind; however, that is not everywhere all the time. The notion of paying cultural reparations for the acts of others in a bygone time frankly offends my personal sense of justice. Healthy people and societies cannot hold one individual responsible for the acts of another and call this humanitarian or just. This is the shape of war and vengeance, not justice. I do, however, strongly agree that we must sometimes put our disdain aside and do what is necessary to further that which we believe in. Mr. Williamson further supported Mr. Reeve's points concerning this by reading from his own piece about a concept he calls ‘The Soft Signal of Effectiveness’. He then went on to clarify that his complaint is not about the requirement but rather the extreme nature of the demand to meet it at every juncture or risk facing dire consequence. Watching these two bright minds navigate disagreement and come into alignment about the most essential points reaffirmed my faith in humanity's ability to engage in reasonable, respectful, and fruitful discourse. I suspect this is why MW has grown so much and yet has succeeded in retaining a predominantly ‘unreasonably reasonable’ audience. So cheers to our host, Mr. Reeves, and the many other great guests who make this a riveting and illuminating podcast that shines a light of hope in these dark times, and a round of applause for everyone in the audience who helps support their efforts to further our collective conversations around pressing issues and better ways forward.

[@malhenning1608]

1:01 the increase in suicide in young men explains the red pill rage amongst their male friends left behind. It explains the voting change as well. It even explains the openness to the messages of the prolife ladies that never existed before.

[@nataliesharp2084]

Great conversation. I love that there was some disagreement in the discussion and that it was so well handled and respectful, especially when nowadays differing opinions in discourse are often so polarised with no level of acceptance that one can have different opinions about subjects and not be completely incorrect or correct. To the woman's version of needing to be needed- I think for me it would not being heard.

[@AD-dl7je]

Richard doesn't come off well in this outing. Aside from his spurious reasoning for including the disclaimer about women's issues for every time men's issues are brought up, he seems to be very keen to downplay (domestic violence) or fully skip over (circumcision) important topics altogether.

[@Laughing_Individual]

and divorce courts. He actually said that they're doing a good job 😂😂😂

[@amirhossein7984]

Thank you chris, god knows I myself needed a lot of your talks in this stage of my life, plz don't give up, for all of our sake :)

[@joshlarkin5022]

I think Richard Reeves has done an AMAZING job bringing the conversation of men to the table. I also agree with a TON of what he is saying. Although the one point I think we should be carful about is his point of staring boys 1 year later for school. I started 1 year early. The story I told myself about myself was that I was the smartest kid in the room for my age. Which honestly was true. However, if you start men late you are telling a whole generation of men that they can't keep up with women. One of my favorite quotes from Tom Bilyeu is "One of the most important things you are going to craft is the story you tell yourself about yourself." It is very true. I fear that if we start men later the story men will tell themselves about themselves will be that they are not as good or as smart as Women.

[@Doberman_6773]

I lost all respect for Reeves after hearing him say (several times) that 'masculinity is about giving more than you get back'. If that is true, there has to be another group (the opposite of masculinity?) that's getting more than they give back. Who's problem is really being solved here? I also find the idea that men need to give 'more than' to be a kind of tacit admission that they are somehow 'less than'; that's going to be a hard pass and a GFY from me.

[@off-roadingcars]

Chris you are a true leader. More power to you brother. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

[@peterdessev536]

I couldn't take Chris Williamson seriously anymore as soon as he said "I couldn't take Chris Williamson seriously anymore as soon as he said "I couldn't take Chris Williamson seriously anymore as soon as he said "I couldn't take Chris Williamson seriously anymore as soon as he said...

[@noahrichardson691]

"Someone said one thing I didn't like, so now I'm not going to listen to anything they say!" People are silly sometimes

[@PinkyTheCat-again]

@@noahrichardson691 that’s a thing Chris admitted to doing by suggesting that those people who say one thing get a LIFE BAN. If he’s going to have a standard, he should probably apply it to his own business.

[@gtbr8134]

It’s his channel he can do as he pleases but he contradicted himself talking about how others will discount what someone has to say for holding a certain view . You’d think he would be aware enough to see this .

[@alelectric2767]

@@PinkyTheCat-againthen Why are you here watching his channel?

[@adamjohnston7227]

Thanks Chris for your episode here. I appreciate your guest Richard Reeves. We need more like him speaking on men's issues.

[@pekkalaitinen8769]

My take on the last bit aka men going to work on health care. Highly highly recommended. Been working as a nurse since 2021 after years of doing jack shit: video games, pursuing arts, failed relationships, not finding my place in society, applying to schools but failing, drinking myself to an early grave. I was almost 30 when I graduated so I'm quite late into the workforce. Even though the routine at the hospital ain't glorious and you'll be literally cleaning shit, puke and blood, you will have a true sense of importance, not in an egoistical way but you'll see daily the importance of your job and gain a feeling of real purpose. Now surely you also need purpose outside of your work, but it's a good start if you're just unemployed, single and don't have nothing to show for. Patients are always positively suprised to see a male nurse and you will bring stoicism and balance to the workplace atmosphere that is 95% female or whatever. Your physical strength will be highly appreciated. You will also meet young level headed women and they see you in an environment where they can look up to you, unlike Tinder or being shitfaced in a bar.

[@mikeforseth]

Well done, sir. Glad you were able to find a positive path. Sounds like a good tip for many of the young men commenting on this video.

[@jorgeromera3861]

Great comment.

[@wolfpack5865]

'Your life matters, you are needed for the humanity' is bro in reality?

[@mats4060]

the recent MRI study, using live footage. illustrating that women emote then think and that men think, then emote. For women the thought process literally begins in their emotional centers, moves to being formed as a thought, then hits the internal verbalization mechanism. that women don't really think. they filter all pre-thought via emotions, and form the thought around those emotions.

[@perpetualprocrastinator]

Just think long term consequences of their voting

[@EmpowerEmpathy]

I completely resonate with the concept of exploring different directions in one's journey. It’s common for individuals to be their own harshest critics, especially when they possess a wealth of unique insights on various issues.

[@stephenridley1153]

Misandry is every bit as bad as misogyny, but nobody even recognises the word

[@Onetakelifestyle3323]

Our society is riddled with it unfortunately

[@dtatman7]

As soon as I heard Chris say that, he hates when people say, "once someone says [X] can't take them seriously anymore." I couldn't take him seriously anymore.