What's the funniest thing PC's latched onto? #1 (r/dndstories)

[@darcraven01]

my next dnd character: 40 lobsters stacked up in a trenchcoat

[@captaindonkeyballs]

The best bit is there’s probably already a home brew race somewhere you can use for this

[@darcraven01]

@@captaindonkeyballs lol probably

[@danielwilson8604]

@@darcraven01check the kobold race subtypes for useful abilities you can give them for a swarming bonus.

[@AmaryInkawult]

@@captaindonkeyballs I need to brainstorm this with a few people. Hiveminded Lobsters may pop up somewhere

[@captaindonkeyballs]

Phantomile You gotta post here when you got it done, the world must know

[@benthomason3307]

DM protip: your players don't expect you to give the exact dimensions of the tavern in inches or describe the facial features of every individual inhabitant, so if you go out of your way to draw their attention to something, they'll assume it's important.

[@handlebarfox2366]

problem is, the best way to paint a picture of a place is to give a few quick, specific examples and let it set the mood... "Stained and faded wallpaper is peeling off the kitchen walls, and the remains of ancient cockroaches litter the floor behind the oven" ....which then leads to.... "I roll investigation on the oven"

[@mothmanunavailable1161]

But that's what makes the campaigns hilarious

[@benthomason3307]

@@mothmanunavailable1161 not if you're bad at making things up on the fly like I am.

[@drewb1979]

One idea is to just give fully descriptive narration so that the players have details on everything and have to parse them like they normally would have to. Why should I give them hints about what's important? Isn't that what divination magic is for? :3

[@DeathnoteBB]

Handlebar Fox That’s why you describe what characters can actually see, and only what they would reasonably be paying attention to. “There’s two empty tables for the party” not “It’s a crowded bar, filled with exciting characters and mysterious figures. But there are exactly two free tables for the party to sit at together.” Ofc the players will want to interact with the people, you brought it up. Thus it is an intractable thing.

[@handlebarfox2366]

"The mouse is invincible" .... yeah, we already know about Disney.

[@silverseth7]

The fact the mage got a familiar out of it is awesome. "Do you KNOW how hard it is to find good familiars? And actually have them last any decent length of time?" As for the lobster swarm... Clipping bowstrings/equipment straps to give them a good chance to fail when used. If the swarm is less effective for whatever reason, the lobsters will still hamper morale because "how, stupid anklesnippers!" x 40

[@saiyukigokufan241]

@@silverseth7 lol

[@kitsuneursavision1988]

Knowing the mouse has been smitten and frozen it still heads towards the honey pott... it fills you with DETERMINATION

[@edschramm6757]

everyone : Hey, where's perry i mean Igor

[@jimjim06ify]

I will literally throw that mouse at everything it can't be killed so it's not abuse

[@superj1010]

I just loved the lesson on the tactical abilities of lobsters at the end.

[@BrianVaughnVA]

Well he did say help and even if it was an old post I said fuck it, good way to close it!

[@tigerwarrior1787]

@@BrianVaughnVA Next week, we'll cover the tactical advantages of a massive swarm of GIANT BEES!!! With Gnome Cavaliers riding them into combat!!!

[@jadennigel773]

I’m just imagining the lobsters going in and snipping peoples throats in the night

[@jack0fspades-svg629]

Jaden Nigel better yet lobsters carrying the enemies and just throwing them somewhere while they sleep

[@TemptationsEnd]

I mean who would expect combat lobsters? Especially when the forward party was killed so no witness' to say who slaughtered them and picked the bones clean. Lol

[@samsmith3878]

Have the lobster swarm act like a horror movie villain, picking off soldiers one by one with only the tearing of flesh and snapping of claws heard by the rest.

[@handlebarfox2366]

**Jaws theme intensifies** ...oh, wait, that was _claws_

[@markuhler2664]

Start with the Achilles tendon to get the character down on the ground

[@danielwilson8604]

You've seen the squeaking carpet. Now meet the snipping carpet.

[@drunkenrobot7061]

I'm planning out an adventure for some friends where they investigate an abandoned castle with some NPCs. Now I really want to have a bunch of these guys hiding in the moat and pick off an NPC or two.

[@SH-qs7ee]

@@handlebarfox2366 Was just thinking this. Have the Bard go invisible, and just play the 'Jaws' theme as the lobster horde looms closer

[@silverdrake7838]

My friend told me that in her campaign she was playing a bard, and they were going through a dungeon and found a supply closet with a few cleaning supplies. She found a bucket, to which she became immediately attached to. She asked if she could use it as her instrument (she originally used bongos). The DM, very amused and interested by this, went with it and even made it a magical bucket that could be used to channel magic through and create infinite soapy water that smelled like lemons. He also created a backstory for it, claiming an old wizard put magic on it and the other cleaning supplies in the closet. That entire campaign was funny to hear about.

[@hardwirecars]

well they wont need more lemon pledge

[@narnia1233]

Reminds me of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice from Fantasia. Mickey Mouse’s magically imbued bucket and mops. That is cool.

[@markuhler2664]

If she turned it over would it dump an endless amount of water?

[@silverdrake7838]

@@markuhler2664 No. I think they used a activation word, but I cant remember what it was

[@paulglandorf4858]

@@markuhler2664 just do the goblin slayer and flood every place that you go into

[@Eddiember]

The Lobsters could snip harnesses of the wargs so goblins would fall off. They sabotage armor so that the armor of the enemies fall off during combat. Oh look, there is now a lobster in that orcs boot.

[@adolfoviruet7481]

"There's a Lobster in my Boot!"

[@ironbeard4627]

My firts thought was lobsters coming at night snipping at harnesses, belts, shoelaces, bowstrings, waterskins and stuff like that aswell.

[@danielwilson8604]

The lobsters help you get ready in the morning by trimming your beard

[@SH-qs7ee]

The lobsters will gallantly throw themselves into boiling water, leaving butter nearby; the enemy will be too happy enjoying the surprise lobster breakfast to attack.

[@alsween218]

NICE!👍🏾 Oooooooorrrrrrr... Lobsters CASTRATE the opposing army in their sleep both weakening and demoralizing them GREATLY😏 And to add insult to injury, should the victim wake during the process, they see the crafty crustacean waving the victim's severed member in their face before scuttling off!🦞

[@Ajehy]

A business card. During a Scion (modern-day demigods: think gritty Percy Jackson with all the pantheons) three-shot, I had the players find one of the BBEG’s business cards. A player had the ability to talk to the spirits of inanimate objects, and decided to interrogate the card. The card, of course, knew practically nothing, but I gave it a cute voice and it sang a little jingle about the BBEG’s phone number. It became a party pet and sort of mascot.

[@Ajehy]

The Blue Eye Monk - it was a blast! Too bad Scion is so broken...

[@PedroKing19]

🎶 Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated 🎶

[@Forsakei]

Lobsters just got to do a lil **snip snip** at some ankles in the middle of the night, and boom. A whole platoon immediately incapacitated.

[@superpig051]

Forsaké “incapacitated”

[@wadeconroy3467]

Cut the Achilles tendon in the foot, that single tendon is what keeps us up, cut the tendon, the army can't even walk

[@danielwilson8604]

@@wadeconroy3467 then crawl over them as a clicking carpet. Or lie over you as seabed cameoflauge

[@demoursa7275]

I would like you're comment but I don't wanna fuck it up

[@dragonslayerornstein387]

@@superpig051 in-crab-pasitated

[@Wymacongaming]

I’m kinda new to D&D but I have surprised everyone in the 2 groups I’ve played in by getting overly attached to and exploiting cursed and/or joke items, the first example was when I played as a rogue there was this painting that did a massive amount of psychic damage to those that looked at it, I took it then buried it under our loot so that if anyone was digging through our things without knowing it was there they weren’t getting out unscathed. The funniest though was a joke item, it was presented to us as a ring of teleportation, but when used it wouldn’t teleport the wearer, just the wearers clothes (including the ring) I took that after the other PCs dismissed it and later when we were fighting someone with really bulky armor, I tricked them by offering this ring and stabbing him in the back when all their armor was suddenly on the opposite side of the room

[@Fanimati0n]

& this is why you hoard everything in rpgs.

[@stone9302]

Fantastic

[@ruecumbers]

Im such a proponent of these kind of items for this exact reason. So much creativity can come out of it, it's awesome. Then again tho, Im not the DM that has to then deal with that shit lol.

[@xtremetuberVII]

You have common sense. Logic. A rare thing these days. Fucking bravo do your parents, man. That shit is absolutely brilliant. "Eh so fucking what, it teleports clothes.... how useful is that?" People that actually realise the significance of that: You just gave us a free armour removal ring that allows me to backstab someone to death. The first rule of DnD is.... everything is useful, unless you can't find a use for it. Which means, never ignore even the minorest of details. It's how a person who's living everyday life in educated society would think about things. Ok, so if you look at the painting, it's damages you. Traps are a thing, this sounds like a pretty easy trap.

[@ked49]

Why not ask if you can put the painting onto your armour? I know absolutely nothing about dnd.

[@geraldthepuppy9693]

In a random campaign I spectated, one of the wizards enchanted a brick with “True Invulnerability”. Because his staff was cursed, however, it also made the brick sentient. Because the dm wasn’t really taking this seriously, he based the bricks personality off his dad. They now have an invincible brick that cracks puns telepathically, and it’s one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

[@Masked_Darkness]

That's amazing

[@MaeShipley]

Yes

[@glaseraaa]

*in the middle of a large battle* Brick: How does an alien calm down a baby? They rocket!

[@EnderTheBender64]

y e s.

[@ked49]

I thought it would have went for milk

[@WanderingVtuber]

Some players fell in love with a guard because when they asked his name after he single handedly defended himself against 2 cultists and 2 orcs I told them his name was Keeanu. Keeanu lived to see the day they vanquished Tiamat, even with his own unique token xD

[@Mr.Brothybear]

Was his last name "Reeves"

[@NameIsDoc]

Igor sounds like Disk-world Igors, Hyper helpful to a fault, and stealthy as hell. whenever someone mentions igor around someone an Igore chose to help he always appears right behind them. Unless they have their backs to a spike pit. Then they appear right beside them.

[@the_deadcrafter8223]

Doc_Ock_Rokc what if they’ve been caught in a spike trap and the only place to stand is taken up by the PC?

[@semi-useful5178]

Don't forget the lisp

[@danielwilson8604]

@@the_deadcrafter8223 there's a twang and snap behind you and when you turn around, the Igor is standing unharmed in the dismantled trap

[@meisterschwert]

my master has a long nose...

[@scottshannon9646]

I once played a mage who, at level one, bought himself a potted plant, a fern, which he named 'Gully'. Yes. Fern Gully. When I started the campaign with it, I declared that it was my 'good luck charm', and I took great pains to illustrate how important it was to me, making sure to water it, making sure it never got any bugs, and even used spells to protect it when combat ensued. For the first while, being the mage, the rest of the party just indulged my odd protective nature about my plant, and protected me the way parties usually protect the low HP mages. Level 5 finally rolls around, and I still have my fern, and the party gets ambushed. Our two tanks went down, and it's me, a rogue, and a cleric against six bandits. I shielded my fern with my body as the enemy attacked. The rogue went down. The cleric got badly wounded. The two bandits attacking me crit-failed. Both of them. They hit each other, instead. Two bandits dead. Two more bandits come for me. Cleric manages to keep himself alive despite getting hit again. Heals and rolls well. Two more bandits both crit-fail their attacks on me (the DM rolled where we could all see, and it was getting hilarious.) Two more bandits kill each other as I miraculously keep my beloved fern safe from harm. Cleric gets knocked prone and is left for dead, but he's shamming. He drinks a potion when the last two bandits start stalking after me, the uninjured mage wielding only a potted plant, and hasn't cast a spell yet. I set my plant down carefully as the bandits approach, and finally roll my initiative. I roll horribly, and will be going last. The bandits attack. Two more crit fails. The party, after being healed by the cleric, all ask how I came out of the battle unscathed. I pointed at my potted plant. "I trust in the great fern, Gully!" The rest of the party bought themselves potted plants at the next town, and for the next three months, the DM was unable to hit any of us, and we all gave the credit to our good luck plants.

[@warehog3000]

Did some one at least get a clover as their plant?

[@OrangeOreo]

@@warehog3000 very important question

[@benjaminizquierdo4700]

That ferns power was real

[@evankearney6781]

😂

[@Zedrinbot]

I was running Death House from Curse of Strahd. In the manor, they were looking in the library for clues. One of the players rolled shy of discovering something, so I just described some of the books. "You look through the bookshelf. You don't find much of note: just various typical works: some works detailing philosophy, other works of fantasy, a few works of of poetry and other creati-" "I take out a poetry book. What's it say?" MFer wanted me to literally read him poetry

[@saulo4302]

Roses are yellow, Violets are orange, You rolled low, But I was hinting for a change!

[@radioactivepower600nanaspersec]

The real question here is: But did you?

[@Akako1004]

Roses are red Your luck is low You want a nat 20? How about a no

[@namAehT]

My DM: "It says fuck you."

[@dbizerra]

I would quickly Google some raunchy, almost pornographic poems. Portuguese poet Manuel Maria Barbosa du Bocage comes to mind.

[@KristofferEk]

is it just me who wanna know how the lobster story played out?

[@Progamer-po5pr]

No, I’m sure everyone is wondering how it went

[@GrachLP]

So the lobsters waited until the orc army set up shop in the outlying town. Once a sizable amount of the enemy was there the lobsters raided supplies and fresh water, forcing the army to preemptively strike the castle the players were at before they could muster their full strength. During the battle, the fighting got rough and the orcs managed to make it inside and fighting in the courtyard broke out. Now an orc/goblin army would usually not be smart enough to use catapults in an assault but they had a devil leading them so they made them and used them. This is where the lobsters made their final strike. While the main force was distracted, the lobsters overran and killed the goblins goblinning the siege weapons and launched themselves back into the castle from whence they came. Pure. Unadulterated. Madness Crustaceans were raining from the sky and attacking the orcs inside giving the players and defenders a chance to retreat. Eventually the lobsters joined together to form a singular lobster champion who challenged one of the devils to single combat. The lobsters lost in one round and were cooked to perfection via hellfire.

[@GrachLP]

Thats what happened according to the reddit post

[@cinnamondreams]

@@GrachLP Thank you!

[@updated_autopsy_report]

@@GrachLP noooooo the lobsters! they were pretty badass tho

[@daisy3525]

My party did this once and it was hilarious all the way through. So in our case, it wasn't an object or a character or something like that that we latched onto, but, well, it went like this. One of our first encounters in the game, we're fighting some kind of ugly annoying monsters in an abandoned church. We were very low level and getting our asses handed to us at that point, and it happened that one of them got very close to one of my party members in order to attack him. When it was that player's turn, he cast his spell, dealt his damage, you know, standard stuff, when the DM asks: "Do you want to do something with your bonus action?" To which our wild mage, naive to the ways of our party, already down on spells and with nothing of substance to do as a bonus action goes: "I put up my middle finger at (the monster)." He was supposed to be a serious, stoic character, so when that happened out of nowhere, everyone laughed. Both the DM and the guy playing that PC thought at that point that it was some random, throwaway moment that happened just for the hell of it, but. But, little did they know, that one small action gave the tone for the Entire Campaign going onward. We took to that like geese to chaos. We stated using the middle finger as a shorthand for insulting any NPC we hated. It became something we did as a bonus action whenever there was nothing else to do. We'd use puns on the term for the middle finger as names for anything. I'm pretty sure we used it as a motion for spellcasting a few times. Before long, showing the middle finger was its own language in our party, and it literally influenced the route our game took. We would twist situations just so we'd have an excuse to give our enemy the middle finger. It became the national salute of the nation our party founded by the end of it, and our mansion was built to look like a giant raised middle finger on the horizon. It was glorious.

[@CHRF-55457]

Lmao

[@animosital1645]

“Fuckyoutopia”

[@MaeShipley]

I salute you

[@ked49]

@@MaeShipleywith the middle finger?

[@td644]

This might get a bit long but. I once played a drow rogue and while exploring the catacombs of an ancient monastery I decided to engage in some good ol fashion grave robbing. Everytime we went past a niche I'd ask if I could search for loot DM'd let me roll, found a bunch of interesting stuff but none more so than "Yorick". See I rolled low and the DM couldn't think of anything so he just said "Yeah no there's nothing there but old bones.". So I said "I'm going to take the skull.", DM was confused but shrugged it off later we needed a distraction to get past some Draugr, so I threw the skull down a corridor and they went to investigate the noise. On our way back the Draugr were gone so I decided to go retrieve the skull, after that I just kept it on me and used it for various things like one time we had to hit a button on a wall on the other side of the room without moving and it was magically protected against arrows, another time I used it as a bargaining chip while haggling with a halfling guide over "renting" his mules to help us over a mountain pass and I was able convinced him that the skull was the most valuable thing I owned and then I sleight of handed it off the stump he'd set it on and back into my pack while he got the mules that we stole. Eventually the rest of the table nicknamed the skull Yorick and seeing as my PC wasn't the sanest of the party whenever the DM would tell me things in relation to rolls I'd made that my PC had no right knowing anything about he'd start talking with the skull the exchange usually went like this out of game Me: I'd like to roll to see if I know about this? DM: Ok roll history. Me: 17. DM: Yeah so you know that long ago a curse was placed on this land. In game My PC: What's that Yorick? You know about this place? It has a curse!

[@captaindonkeyballs]

I’ve had this exact same interaction with a raven familiar before, managed to convince the rest of the party members it was hyper-intelligent and knew all, in reality my warlock just had 7 wisdom and was batshit insane

[@Klomster88]

Alas poor Yorick, they hardly knew him.

[@jitterbug5630]

I am playing a Warforged Fighter, Eldritch Knight, and since he was replacing my last character, who tragically died, he wasnt as well liked and he didnt fit in as much. We had finished fighting a powerful young green dragon, and were looking inside the buildings of an abandoned village. In one shop, I rolled for perception and investigation to find anything important, and I find a fishbowl with a weird tadpole creature swimming in a slimy, brine liquid. I decided to take the creature, and I carried him around with us. I named him Flea, cuz they said he was a pest, and we was brought along with the party. A few events with Flea include me dropping him onto a tied up goblins face, and watching him gleefully as he crawled inside the screaming goblins head. Then I decapitated the goblin with Flea inside the head and stuffed it in the fishbowl. Also, my one party member put flea into their mouth, and in 4 seconds, my teammate went from 42 health to 2 health, before we managed removed him. As well, my party member tried to telekinetically communicate with Flea, and was traumatized by the experience. Even with this grim crap, my character adored flea, and protected him with his life. After the incident of my friend trying to eating flea, which was caused by a huge argument of what we should do with flea, I realized what I had to do and threw flea and the fishbowl at a tree, shattered it, and let flea die. Turns out, Flea was a Mindflayer tadpole, young versions of the freaky scary octopus people, that crawl inside a creatures body and turns them into a mindflayer. Kinda messed up. But even worse, when my friend telekinetically communicated with Flea, he didnt talk to flea, he talked to the hive mind that was in control of alllllllllll the mindflayers, and the sheer power of this brain mind that controlled the mindflayers left him traumatized and mentally damaged. We are about to finish the final session, and I'm carrying Flea around with us for some reason. Although our dm said he has possible plans for my character having a pet when we begin our next campaign, with the same characters. So yeah, I was a carrying a baby mindflayer and didnt even know it...

[@valynazvalkynaz5375]

You should've raised it like your child XD

[@jitterbug5630]

@@valynazvalkynaz5375 That would have been pretty fun, the most I did was feed it a goblin head, and pick it up a couple times. Hopefully I can get ahold of a non-overfreakingvillainous pet that I can raise, dm has some ideas he has yet to share

[@valynazvalkynaz5375]

@@jitterbug5630 we can only hope

[@Kaiularalei]

My first D&D campaign, our barbarian was a female halfling with a 6 intelligence and an obsessive need for children... she found a troglodyte egg at the end of an underground cult lair. She then adopted this troglodyte as her child... but given her lack of intelligence she was feeding him little buttons from her box of buttons as snacks, and when we had to go back out on another adventure she left him with an alcoholic pit fighter Goliath named Gravec, having decided that he was the father... the last we saw of this troglodyte toddler he was having what smelt like pure ethanol poured down his throat...

[@dave4657]

I ran a game when my PC's encountered a little goblin around the age of 8 called Bobo with a Robin hood like hat and and peasant clothes with a ukelele. He was charging people 4 silver pieces to follow them around for an hour playing music so he could save up and get a tricycle. When my players met him they sold all there magic items bought him his tricycle instantly and paid him 30,000 gold to follow the party around for the rest of the campaign.

[@ked49]

Awwwww

[@Thekingofcrab]

+20 reputation

[@knightghaleon]

Awaken each lobster and give them rogue and monk levels. Have the biggest lobster learn to rage

[@BrianVaughnVA]

I thought of another one recently. Could just poison them some how and feed them to the army, or have them poison all the food.

[@OrionoftheStar]

There's enough lobsters you could probably use them as a swarm. Don't swarms take no damage from ordinary weapons, just area of effects?

[@Theminecraftian772]

@@OrionoftheStar I'm not sure the size of the lobsters would allow that, but it would be awesome to use.

[@therighttrousers343]

I believe some lobsters are biologically immortal for as long as they can sustain the weight of their shells, and their food. If they can be used as some kind of competition of longevity with the enemy force, or send them to hell for as long as the relevant lobster lives, there's a thought. Alternatively, I think it might be an environmental change, that lobsters can turn blue, might be a variation but I think it's about oxygenation or temperature. It'd have to be looked into, but if it's something they can do, use it for an initial assault as red and then hide in shadows blue, they'll never look for a blue lobster. Or a winner-take-all game of hide-and-seek. Or maybe one lobster offers to willingly be dinner to save his friends and delay the invasion, 'a soul willingly given', be a great offer. Or maybe they betray the party in favour of the musclier demons, perfect for guarding lives at the beach, unlike those ripped-pants adventurers.

[@nickolaswilcox425]

the biological immortality thing is a bit exaggerated, they don't suffer the same process that kills most complex lifeforms, but it gets them hard in other ways, molting gets to be more and more dangerous over time as they get bigger and while they can just stop molting this causes their shell to rot around them after awhile, but that issue aside they do still live an extremely long time for a shellfish

[@axios4702]

I once became obsessed with a magical ward for a bastard sword, the thing glowed and grew to fit whatever sword it was put into, the group fell apart before I even found out what it did, but I swear it felt like it had a weird TLOTR One Ring effect on my character, thats not even the DM's doing, its how it came out from my roleplaying.

[@lotuswraith]

Listening to this reminded me of an NPC I included in my first D&D campaign: an armor merchant named Bruce. Now I had a habit of making merchants NPCs in order to give the players a chance to haggle or gather information, so Bruce was not the first one they encountered, but for some reason the players latched onto him. I was inspired by the scene with the great white shark in Finding Nemo and decided to make Bruce: the 6'6", 250 lbs, constantly smiling and laughing, full blood orc who for some reason had a really light step. When the party rogue first met him he snuck up on her, appearing just a few feet behind her with a big, dopey grin and the iconic line: "'Allo! Name's Bruce," as he shoved his hand into her face and pumped her arm furiously. His fun yet almost incidentally sinister lines endeared him to the party and I got a lot of questions about who he was and what his story was out of game, with players asking if we would see him again. Sadly the game ended before he had a chance to reappear again.

[@Dragon359]

I can totally understand the paranoia with the goat. XD I've unfortunately been exposed to a lot of things during the last Pathfinder campaign I played that I will be very hesitant to trust when the sequel starts up later this month.

[@BunnyTheOverlord]

Everytime I see a goat in any of my friends campaigns I always pointedly ignore it cause it's always Loki and I don't want to deal with that shit again

[@ianmoseley9910]

animal equivalent of lolits

[@TheGoodluckjonny]

Our party just found a dwarvish-speaking awakened shrub. Lovely chap.

[@madhattom891]

Never, for any reason have a sentient talking doorway appear in a campaign you are running without the expectation that the players will attempt to somehow bring it with them on their journey. 30minutes of my life I'm not getting back.

[@jasonsaalbach5786]

I saw a crab once in real life steal a chef's knife and start wielding it. So just picture an army of 40 lobstes armred with the nemies weapons and armor killing isolated enemies at night hit and run and no footprints just wierd tracks.

[@dragonllig790]

Stab crab

[@yoshistarhunter]

I was running a scifi version of dnd and I had a blacksmith called Charles the goblin, able to create very experimental weapons, I threw some random examples in there, a 5 barrelled gun, an electric scythe, a duck grenade, you know, fun random stuff, then one of the players asks for the duck grenade and I as the dm panicked like hell. I knew it had to be special otherwise it would be a wierd let down. We get to the boss and they throw the duck grenade. I had it delay for 1 turn because it was that powerful (also because this was session 2 and I didn't want an accidental tpk) and with a quack it exploded and eviscerated the boss. They recovered it and it was modified by charles with a few more upgrades and they named him Dennis. And then I gave one of my NPCs a female one called delilah. In the end the PCs base was destroyed but as they looked out the air lock they saw dennis flying out to the void of space, lost in the reaches of black. The players never tracked him down but in my mind he found a planet that he settled and populated, creating an entire duck grenade race. Worst part is it wasnt the most outlandish weapon I gave them, that belongs to the dildo launcher one of the players requested (I shit you not)

[@PALAD1N_005]

This is beautiful

[@danielauen7790]

QUACKOOOM!!!

[@ianmoseley9910]

Dildo launcher? The enemy would not know if they were coming or going!

[@TheCompodulator]

You can't just end a story with "the dildo launcher one of the players requested" and not tell that tale!

[@Gemini-Lion]

I wasn’t at the session, but got a good understanding from everyone’s perspectives on it. At some point, the party arrived at the Emperor’s bathhouse, assisted by several bipedal frogs. I don’t remember much of what I was told, but I know that someone in my party (who would probably be Chaotic Neutral IRL) did some things, gave all the frogs knives, and slaughtered the Emperor. After that, there were 2 frogs in particular who members of the party came to grow attached to: A frog who they gave a plate to as defense (they named this frog “Fworg”) and a red frog that spoke in a Russian accent (they named this frog “Comrade”). Those 2 frogs would then follow us for the rest of the campaign. Just remember though: This was all in one session.

[@Arturius]

Just started D&D for the first time in years a few weeks ago. The first session we find a small frog figurine among the loot stolen by goblins. Our cleric (my older brother) immediately decided it must be magical or important, and decided he would keep the frog. It was later discovered it was just a bauble, it even had the manufacturer's mark on the underside. But my brother insists on keeping it, and is planning, in a few levels, to multiclass Warlock and make a pact with the frog statuette. Everything is now all about frogs for him. It's only been three days in the game, but he has gone off the deep end with that frog hard. The last campaign I DMd, every town they visited had a general store that was always managed by gnome twins who would have names similar to each other or going off of a theme. "Tick and Tock", "Razzle and Dazzle", "Whiz and Bang", etc. And int he fashion of Pokemon, they were all cousins. Except one town, where that gnome's twin had, sadly, died the past winter, and the poor gnome was in a depression voer it.

[@christophermarek8443]

I once had a goliath who worshipped a tiny glowing pebble, every time he killed someone with it the pebble would steal the victims soul and make them forever suffer from the humiliating death of a pebble, the group and myself would always at time praising "the mighty rock"...loved it every single time it happened

[@rosalindgatto9630]

In my first proper DnD campaign, we had a random encounter while traveling from one town to another with a monstrous bug that had a goblin tied by is neck with it as a sort of 'pet'. We fought it, and the bug ended up climbing up a tree to evade some of our attacks, still dragging the goblin by it's neck and almost strangling him to death in the process. My barbarian half-orc took her next action to slice the rope and save the goblin's life, and after the fight another character swooped in and the two of us basically became co-moms, and he became a permanent member of our party for the rest of that campaign.

[@louisyoung6080]

One of my players (a ranger) made a character with a deep love for bugs. After clearing an abandoned house, the players decided to take a long rest in the beds of the house. The bug man decided that before going to bed, he wanted to pull an empty drawer out of a dresser, go outside, fill ther drawer with dirt and worms, and take it back inside and sleep. At this point I could feel my brain cells fading because the next morning, he refused to leave without his worms. This didn't work out because the party was traveling on foot, and the rest of the players didn't want to carry around a drawer full of dirt. After an argument between the worm loving ranger and the party's dragonborn paladin, the dragonborn used his breath weapon (fire) on the drawer to cook the worms and presented them as breakfast; he and the cleric blessed the meal. The ranger decided to join them in the feast while crying over his worms (yes, as he ate them). It got even weirder when the party reached their travel destination. As they stood in awe of the beauty of the lost city they had searched for, the the paladin made a fart noise over the discord server and blamed it on indigestion from the worms. This caused the ranger to mourn over them once more.

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

Over the 30+ years I've played and GM'ed... I've seen a lot of PC's latch onto a LOT of very questionable (and outright silly) things... AND I've been the PC's who have latched onto a LOT of very questionable things, myself... Occasionally, I just "invent" some random new magically useless apparatus to see how long the Party will carry it around, investigate it, etc... before either giving up or tossing it as the useless bit of "fluff" I intended... I'm not the kind who presents a riddle without clues and hints when they "mess with it" and work through the lines of questioning and clues in their minds. It almost always "percolates" the truth to the surface... and as often as not, they actually just keep whatever. It's silly and useless, but somehow magical... whatever. Once they get to the "punchline", they like to "own" the joke well enough. Once, had a GM who had his heart set on an "Open Sea" adventure... and at first, NONE of us read the hints and flags. We fumbled our way into a poker game, and won a small fortune... and the ship it was stowed away aboard... AND I promptly went right out and sold the whole thing for next-door to dirt cheap. Rescued a city guard from a band of thugs, and his father was so pleased we'd kept his son from getting killed, we got a sizeable boat... not quite a "ship", but dubiously large enough to be competitive. AND we used it to get across a small strait... only to load it full of Alchemist's Fire and use it as a make-shift torpedo... I had a Necromancer... and being the only member of the Party who (IRL) knew a thing in the world about boats, ships, or sailing... was pretty bound to get "stuck" as the Captain... when (because the GM really wanted it) we got involved in a Piracy on the High Seas story-arc... It was almost too much fun just teasing and frustrating the hell out of our GM over that story-arc... BUT we eventually relented, and as expected... I (who knew the terminology, principles, and even most of the knots) got "promoted" to Captaining the ship... even as a necromancer. SO "embracing my PC's new role"... I made a regular habit of checking the ship's inventory in the hold. AND sooner or later, the GM admitted to some of the livestock "dying off" during the travel... so I "raised" an undead chicken, and perched the rotting bird on my shoulder... presenting the "more suitably traditional" costume for such an obviously "fringe style" character. AND the rest of the Party crowed delightedly... In fact, they embraced the whole "chickens v parrots" theme. While my Character traded the mystical cloak for a Captain's Waistcoat and Hat... They busied themselves with decorating the hat with chicken feathers... even embroidering a chicken's skull to the "jolly roger"... That's one thing about our Table. Once this pack gets a hold of a "running gag", they certainly RUN with it. ;o)

[@Kagira2006]

Igor became the most mysterious character. He had a knack for popping up when you need him to... "Hello, and welcome to the Velvet Room..."

[@eldritch-rage]

3 years late but this was EXACTLY what I was thinking of

[@itzzbowserjr]

I love this channel the most for DND story videos because of how you just laugh while reading it and don't try to be 100% professional with no mistakes. The breaks of laughter and personal comments adds so much personality to these videos. This has become my favorite video of yours because of this.

[@SH-qs7ee]

That "Gorebeak" reminds me of our barbarian in our current party; he was the paladins horse, but became so friendly with the group after the paladins death he stayed with us and took up barbarian levels. To this point, he catapulted himself over a fortress wall (with a literal catapult), developed a psychic link to another of the party to communicate with us; this guy was mute and already had several voices in his head, got a headband of intellent so hes currently the smartest member in the party (yes, the horse is the smartest one of us), made a deal with an artificer for a voice box (we now have a smart horse that sound like Steven Hawking), and is currently trying to buy up scrolls of awakening to start his own race of sapient horses.

[@benjaminizquierdo4700]

Did he succeed

[@dragonllig790]

Thank you for using the word “sapient” correctly

[@MaeShipley]

"Top 20 reasons why DnD is amazing!"

[@LtBasil]

I remember when I was DM-ing and I made an octopus man who was intended to be a mini-boss. Instead of fighting him, however, the party managed to recruit him and he helped through the rest of the campaign. He was snarky, squishy, attacked people by sticking to the ceiling and dropping down on their heads, and actually dealt pretty good damage despite basically being a human-shaped bag of slime with tentacle arms. Everyone ended up loving him, so now I keep giving him cameos whenever I'm the DM and everyone is super happy when he shows up.

[@strawberrydoughnut4219]

that's lovely

[@Killrbladez]

The speak with cat thing was the DM's fault for the cat throwaway line.

[@kholdstare1672]

As a DM, I recently learned that you don't make throwaway lines like that. Session 2, I describe an abandoned room as having two rat skeletons and some cobwebs, but nothing else. (It was just a hallway room, nothing more) So... the Paladin (who I have decided is quite possibly insane in character) says "I take the skeletons." Over the next few sessions, the rat skeletons always find some way to pop up, and by the time I convince her to get rid of them, the saga of the rat skeletons has taken roughly an entire session. I'm using a campaign I pre-prepared a lot of already, so luckily, the first session after the rat skeletons were finally gone, there were no enemies that she could steal the skeletons of. However... that is not going to remain the case forever, and I'm scared of what happens when she finds a way to get another skeleton.

[@Killrbladez]

@@kholdstare1672 This is an excellent example of why that's a problem. I have two examples from two different campaigns. First, we found these big insect-like monsters that burrow through the ground. I wild shaped into a rat and went down a pathway these creatures created. DM describes a nearly empty room, except for a small pile of messy books. I investigated cause of course, got a nat 20. DM says there's an egg in the pile of books. I kept that egg longer than an Axe Beak I befriended. DM even forgot about the egg. 2 in game weeks after, I asked about the egg, wanting to know how close it was to hatching. The DM panicked trying to come up with an excuse for me to not get a new pet in game. Second campaign, we are sent to take out this guy who put a fake bounty on our group. We found the building the guy owned was destroyed, lots of people dead. I jokingly said "We were told to bring proof, should we take one of these people's fingers. DM said fine. We find out later that session, bounty guy made a pact with a demon and tried to attack us. Our Lawful Evil Paladin used his head as proof of taking him out. Fast forward two player levels later, my dragonborn and our "wizard" (both low int and wis characters) get captured for not suspecting a mob boss to control the police force of the city. Our female bard gets told by someone who was informed of our group they could help sneak us out by "capturing" her and making a distraction where us two were held, while the other half tried to plan a break out for us. I asked the DM if we had our gear, which he said they took our weapons, but left us with the rest of our gear. So I stated "I push the finger from my bag under the door." DM was silent for a few seconds, asked where I got that, then said "yeah, I think that'd be a good distraction."

[@timdrugge907]

In my early DnD days, we played in one of the back rooms of the local library. Living near the library was a stray cat who the librarian and other people, including us, would feed by leaving food and water by the backdoor. Because of this, the cat was friendly and not afraid of humans, and was in a lot better health than other strays. He was also smart enough to jump into the room we played DnD in through the window because it lacked a screen and we left it open for air circulation. He ended up being incorporated into the DM's campaigns as a party pet for pure aesthetics, made an appearance as a friendly panther when we were ambushed by a pack of wererats (inspired by him catching and killing a rat that had been spotted in the area), and once transformed from the party's pet housecat to a friendly Displacer Beast when the BBEG captured him to piss us off so we'd race to BBEG's stronghold to fight them (a great way to end the campaign and convinced one of us to bring him home to ask their parents if they could adopt him as a 'reward' for his help. Didn't see Leon around the library too much after that, but at least he found his forever home).

[@桃の精]

One of my friends had a character that had a pet rock called Mr.Corn, he would ask NPCs to heal the rock. Before the campaign ended, he threw the rock in a river. Mr. Corn was remembered through a drawing of him on the wall of the room.

[@calebhawk6868]

I remember one campaign where we kept engaging with these random creatures that we were just supposed to fight, but kept making friends and naming them, usually feeding them the corpses of all the enemies we'd kill. This included a Nothic we named Ricardo who spent the entire campaign trying to learn what friendship is (which included some great conversations with our DM pretending to be a psychopathic monster), and a goblin we named Twinkie who we helped recover from survivor's guilt through group therapy sessions (with our DM then having to play a traumatized goblin)

[@funnyblog100]

The plane of stealth is real in DND it is called the shadow fell.

[@markuhler2664]

Love the idea of lost rogues stuck there

[@danielwilson8604]

@@markuhler2664 critical fail is everything in the plane can see you

[@McMeece]

I was dming in a catacomb, and said,” you hear a russeling in the tomb to the right of you.” It was the first encounter of the first campaign I’ve run. He was then seen as a god to the PCs and every time something strange happened, they always said it was the power of Russel from the afterlife. After all of the jokes of Russel, I made him a main character in the story

[@thezerowulf507]

We got into a 3part side quest because we saw an arrow in a tree.

[@Thalia_Aquaticaa]

Oh god, elaborate please

[@thezerowulf507]

@@Thalia_Aquaticaa we ended up passing by a tree that had an arrow. Thinking something insidious was going on we delved into the forest finding a house that told us to go away and eventually the mutilated remains of a hunter. Heading back we sent my imp inside while distracting the man inside then had him unlock the door. We found in the basement the man pleading with his now monster wife, turned into a monster while foraging in the woods. Half the party wanted to talk, but my character being over this and not willing to deal with the creature or the man defending her while also being kind of a dick, decided to take her to fireball town. We turned her husband to ash and she howled and ran away. We chased her through the woods but she was too fast, leading to her showing up while our criminal party member was shaking down a guy for the money he owed. She showed up I was able to convince her that her time here was over and that she needed to find rest eventually leading to my goddess showing up giving me a momento. We then buried her where we saw her ghost and her husbands reunited as the goddess took them to the afterlife.

[@deinnydoes5356]

Bless for elaborating

[@s.q.10-e66]

I once played as a changeling bard named Maximilian Cognito, and I bought a Donkey and named it Ho'Tay. (I like pun based names for characters. My name was Maximal Incognito, and I had Donkey Ho'Tay, or Don Quixote)

[@LaneBee]

I had an evil and treacherous illusionist wizard named Veritas (truth) with a bat familiar. My bat's name was Bru' swain (Bruce Wayne)

[@lesdoleague]

Gravelord: He yells at you to buy stuff from him. He usually buys all the really stange things the players grab and somehow players always run into the people who the gravelord sold it back to. Or gives really strange quests to kill certain monsters and bring back parts for him to eat.

[@danielwilson8604]

Give the lobsters a rallying warcry (warcray) of "whoopwhoopwhoopwhoop" and a malpractice bonus

[@shumatsuplaran7251]

Early on in my first game as a player, we encountered an undead that had been horribly damaged beyond repair. His head was intact, but the body couldn't be fixed. He spoke of how he had been cursed to never truly die, so I asked him what he wanted out of life. He wanted to explore the world, so I made a deal. This is how I got a talking bowling ball that I would cast light on and roll down hallways. He was a useful companion for years.

[@chaoticenby2133]

One time we were exploring in this cave and my character found what was supposed to be a throwaway. It was literally just a floating purple fire with teeth. My character named it and it became our pet and it eventually scared away the doppelganger of my character that was trying to kill her when she was separated from the group. Flicker was fucking awesome.

[@jonathanschell6752]

I was in a two year long drop-in campaign at a local comic shop, there were MANY random things that we latched onto... In no particular order there was Pig the pig (rescued from a Giant's bag after killing it), The Cartapult; a cobbled together Goblin-chucker on top of a custom armoured cart (we had a tank!), The Golden Gary; the result of trying to find something non-alcoholic for our teenaged assassin character (iirc) that wound up making its way across the continent as the latest craze, "100% guaranteed genuine swamp tour!" because our DM wanted to spice up interactions with random npcs in markets, and accidentally piqued the interest of our druid and assassin who had been left unsupervised and wound up dragging us all on a full-session swamp tour complete with alligator wrestling and stumbling upon a troll/ogre/orc fight club deep in the forest, the Badger Blender; our druid summoned eight giant badgers, swarmed three advancing hill giants and used flanking for advantage along with their bite/claws double attack to mow down three giants in three turns (the DM only let us get away with that once XD ) while the rest of the party just stood back in awe/horror

[@an8strengthkobold360]

Not something the pc's latched onto but something I did as a dm. I brought back this wolf as a reoccurring villain and a constant threat.

[@ladylunaginaofgames40]

The funniest NPC the Oxventure got attached to was a throwaway guard. They were trapped in a prison that sucked away magic energy from them. They were supposed to get the key from the guard but they ended up keeping him hostage and convince him to work for them for the duration of the quest. They gave him a long name, found out he was from a town from their previous quest (which they held guilt towards what happened there), and used him to help them confront the BBEG

[@DimitriAlexandreBlaiddyd14]

I have this image about the igor story where there's a campaign to discover the Mysteries of IGOR. The party walks into a mystical door. Piano music starts playing as a blue light bathes the area. Igor is sitting behind a desk across from them, a wide grin plastered across his face, and then he says... "Welcome to the Velvet Room, my treasured friends!"

[@redrobby9939]

I'm going to try and make my next PC an intelligent, evil chicken next time I get to make a character. A necromancer chicken, maybe?

[@saulo4302]

You know The Legend of Zelda chickens, Coocoos? So, imagine that, but undead chickens. If you hit one of them, or piss them off, they'll hunt you down and kill you even if it's the last thing they do in their undeath. I hope I helped ; )

[@handlebarfox2366]

does it date a rubber duckie?

[@redrobby9939]

: D omg I love it. This has to be a thing that I do now roflmao.

[@somedrunkdude5728]

A... Poultrygiest?

[@terriblejungleplayer4668]

In our campaign, we had to roll a stealth check, our monk rolls a natural one and is now the owner of a bright pink blanket that was used to not raise suspicion, it is now a magical item allowing for a bonus action 30ft blink.

[@jamesfranko5681]

Warlock: It is, C R U S T A C E A N T I M E *Furious clicking of small claws.

[@aquawoelfly]

1:40 but does he wear a trench coat and ask "wha-chu buyin?" 2:55 i prefer being the third to take up the mantle of "dread pirate roberts"

[@ianmoseley9910]

amanda cabrera I think you would be at least the fourth?

[@brotherchristian7610]

You could have the lobsters sneak makeshift mines onto the battlefield so when the enemies attack they get bombarded by makeshift bombs

[@BrianVaughnVA]

An alchemists wet dream right there!

[@almanotolrado7744]

May i introduce you to the ballad of “Alfred, the glowing pheasant carcass”.

[@reaper6633]

So I’ve been DMing the LMoP and we’re running the pregen characters, the Cleric read the background and it mentions he has a dagger from a fallen enemy... well session one the cleric “Taklin” cuts goblin feet off and keeps them as trophies... she now has a necklace of 20 goblin feet

[@lordroyalnightmare]

"I'll just make the fabric invisible" "The fabric consists of many small pieces of material woven or otherwise bound together. You'd have to make each individual string invisible"

[@thekettle3534]

"Fragile little lobsters" Sir, as marine biologists, I must interject by saying lobsters are mini tanks

[@niffry]

Our sackpipe-playing bard became obsessed with blinkdogs and once confused the diary of a cult member for a book all about them blink doggos

[@wiseforcommonsense]

I once had my players go to a tavern and decided to have a dwarf partying it up (mostly because the group was sad there was no short people represention so far). The next session was individual dream sequences for the players and I thought it would be funny, and just like real dreams, to have things from that night pop up. So I put the dwarf in the dreams just dancing in the background. Cue my party deciding he is a God and looking for him whenever they are at a tavern.

[@DomesticatedGoth]

Inverse of this! I'm in a campaign where I'm playing a half-orc druid, who has a non-magical, non-familiar, regular ol' frog as a pet. The DM really liked my frog (I gave a backstory about how it has 3 legs because my half-orc rehabbed it after an eel tried to eat it) and now I have ended up with a otherwise useless items for my frogs, including frog-hammock, frog-hats (to keep the frog damp when he wears it), and a pub tankard that the frog likes to hide in. Frog ended up leading us to the lair of bandit once because the DM thought it all funny to have us move through a town following a regular frog hopping about after the smell of damp. Where's on session seven, and the frog is still around. My character latched onto the concept of eating pies. She's from a swamp where there's few sources of confectionery, and has discovered the towns have apple pies, strawberry tarts, blueberry pies. My character's bag of holding is mostly a pantry now.

[@Ap0Kal1ps3]

Plot twist: They're lobster wizards and summon lobstrocities

[@whitelasagna6786]

Due to a misunderstanding my dwarf has what we call his "flesh dagger".

[@funkytown3843]

I got a story My party was consisting of a Wizard, a Druid, a Barbarian, a Ranger, and I played a Bard (as always). Anyway, we were on our way to find a ancient Wizard named Wilbuld the White who was half DragonBorn and half Human (don't ask) and we had to stay the night in a cave. In the morning, our Ranger found a koa tua snooping outside the cave. The Ranger yelled "BOW BEFORE ME WEAKLING!" and then the koa tua ran off. The rest of the party and I got pissed because we could have asked the koa tua where the hell we were at (we were all lost). So I decided to tie the Ranger up to a log and hold them up in the air. The rest of the party agreed and didn't complain about my plan. The Ranger got pissed and kept failing at escape rolls. The DM was fucking loving what we did next. While all of us were holding up the Ranger tied to a log in the air, we kept yelling "Sacrifice!" While marching through the woods trying to find a koa tua camp. Anyway, we find one and threw the Tied up Ranger in the middle of a bundle of koa tua. All the koa tua started stabbing the Ranger. I (being a nice dude) charmed the Koa tua king and got him to give me the ownership of the other Koa tua. Of course I rolled a natural 20. I made the Koa tua kill the Ranger and then breed with each other till death. Some folks say it was a dick thing I did, but I think say, Never fuck with the bard.

[@funkytown3843]

I guess this would be My funniest self nat 20 moment

[@TheEvilProfessorMonoCulture]

Ran a One-Off Campaign where characters were supposed to carry this toothless Mimic Monster around the area but instead of latching onto it like a lost puppy they started mistreating it from the start. The following included cramming items down its throat and drop kicking it though high windows.

[@mindlessscientist3772]

I have 2 wonderful DnD stories but Ill tell my one about our PC on this vid. So most our group is new, and we started off our campaign with lost mines of Phandelver (I think that's the name?). Anyway we're in Phandalin and preparing, and our Barbarian and perverted warlock go to the blacksmith. Our Barbarian asks to have some modification done to him halberd, and our warlock? She hits on the blacksmith. Our Dm goes with it and gives him the kinkiest description possible. That's how we ended up with our favorite PC, the nudist blacksmith that looks like a muscular Santa claus and has scars all over, including on his dick from the time he accidentally hit it with his forging hammer Edit: Oh! I almost forgot one of the most important parts! He had a butterfly tramp stamp as well

[@quillisdeadinside5478]

For me, it was a mimic chest that a player had somehow managed to tame. She named him Jeff and we feed him fingers.

[@PhoenixofEclipse]

I made a shopkeeper that runs EVERY STORE named Old Man Jenkins. It was supposed to be a one off joke, but the characters started to expect him and look for him in towns he wasn’t originally going to be in, so I kept it going. Big mistake He’s now the center of an inter-dimensional conspiracy. HOW?!

[@connordalton4553]

Our DM was running a Runeterra campaign with added homebrew. Myself and the parties marksmen had split off to do a little solo questing for some gold. As the two biggest murder hobo's in the party by a significant margin, it seemed simple to our DM. So he had a little girl appear to us, injured and asking for help. He probably thought we would either kill her, or get a quest and be on our way. Nope, we straight up abandoned the mission she gave us to care for her and our marksman adopted her as his child. Our DM ended up having to write her a full PC character sheet. Absolutely glorious. She remains a major fixture of the campaign.

[@Fastdragonstar]

our dm gave us a deed to a magical house which allowed us to set up a door anywhere to gain access to the house which had belonged to a fallen paladin. the house was in a bad state but it contained a hidden chapel, plenty of rooms and even a high end smithy that spawned per my characters request (bard tries same thing but wanted a... lets say R-rated dungeon, was told it was 1 new room per 5 year thing) and a small magic servant named leomund... he was wearing old torn clothes and looked sick. Our wizards suddenly exclaims "DOBBY!!!" and from that point we called him that. i loved the guy and spent about 30 gold to give him fancy clothing and good food to work with. Turns out that him changing into new clothes made the house go from rotting floors and broken mirrors to high class well maintained living spaces with even brand new furnitures! Dobby died with the house after a hidden demon opened a portal in the chapel and we had to destroy the house to prevent them from attacking waterdeep :( we keept the remains of the deed with us as a good luck charm until we meet the real leomund who resummoned dobby from the remains (much to dobbys dismay as he was now under the control of his creator once more).

[@thejazzienerd3780]

I had something like that goat story happen in a campaign once. I sent the group I was DMing for into a throwaway mini-dungeon that was a Skyrim-style watchtower full of bandits. The ground floor was home to half a dozen goats that provided the bandits with various resources. The party Psion was so convinced that there was something important to either the goats or their pen that he spent half the session looking for it. He even shaved the goats, convinced that he'd find an indication that they were more than just run-of-the-mill goats under their fur.

[@williamsofko6840]

I was playing in a too typical dungeon crawl with a party that was rather impoverished. We were constantly looking for something valuable to sell. Finally the DM got sort of fed up and said that the room we had just opened the door to was filled to the ceiling with... horse manure. Rather than take the hint we became wealthy fertilizer merchants.

[@braddalrymple8615]

I feel like this is one of the best videos you guys have done not because of the funniest but because it's the most practical and interesting because players always seem to get really excitable up at things that don't matter.

[@ltchugacast131]

I had a thing in one of my campaigns where our childhood hangout (a tea shop) was destroyed in a raid by the baddies. Our groups childhood mentor, the owner, was killed when it collapsed. I should probably mention we were experimenting with a different way of classing. We all rolled our base stats and got our race bonuses squared away, but the DM reasoned that we were all too young to have developed our classes in this story. So we all started out with no class, Joe Shmoe’s. With how the world was established, there was no way any of us were getting formal training for anything, the societal elites had basically banned our poorer communities from receiving that kind of teaching. We’d gain our classes as we came upon the opportunity. Which means we didn’t necessarily get to choose. So anyway our hangout and mentor are gone. I’m first to arrive, State police tearing through everything. I take a single brick from the rubble of the hangout. That brick then gets used to blindside a State police caster who was rifling through the pockets of our dying mentor. In the resulting struggle I get ahold of his casting rod and end up awakening my magic potential, releasing an overcharged eldrich blast into his chest. I scrambled over to our mentor and pull something that probably shouldn’t have worked, but nat 20 plus high WIS. I preserved our mentors soul in the brick. Our mentor was an aging man that had been all over the world, and made all kinds of relationships along the way before settling down. For the first half of the campaign, that brick gave me +3 WIS and knowledge local for pretty much every major place in the world, plus the ability to roll for the chance our mentor had a friend in the are that could help us somehow. Halfway through the campaign that brick ended up in a vat of clay during a boss fight. In a really cool moment our mentor possessed the clay and became a golem when we were all close to death. The clay formed into a towering body between us and boss. “Get away from my kids!” He growled, launching a hail of hardened clay shards at the boss. This allowed us to rally our final charge and gave us a valuable ally for the rest of the campaign. At the end of the campaign, he sacrificed himself by morphing his body around us to protect us from the explosion after beating the main villain. The force of the blast knocked us all out. When we came to, we were trapped in a thick dome of baked clay. We broke out as carefully as possible. That dome pops up in campaigns now and again. Always as a place of reverence, a place used to honor the best teachers, mentors, tutors, and caretakers that went above and beyond.

[@jossebergmeier8803]

In a Homebrew Campaign i skipped a session and when i came back our party had a new member: a homeless alcoholic with 3 HP and literally no skills who just followed the party around like a pet. someone named him "Wolfgang" and he survived a few sessions but then was killed by a bigger foe, i was surprised that he actually was useful for us, wich was normally whenever we needed distraction. For example: One time when we needed a bait to lure two drunken soldiers into a lonely sidestreet, we told him to shout at them, provoking the soldiers

[@storicpunk]

We had a batshit crazy tiefling warlock. The first few encounters we ran into some undead, he stole the hand off of one of them and named it Tiffany. Tiffany apparently became his girlfriend, and it made everyone incredibly uncomfortable when he would argue with this gross rotting skeleton hand as if he were talking to an actual romantic partner. He later died in battle with Tiffany still in his bag, and the other half of the party kept trying to return to the mountain he died on to retrieve Tiffany. We later named the mountain, “Tiffany Mountain.”

[@m.a.651]

My D&D group was going through a cave system trying to clear out all of the goblins. The very first one they came across, my brother decided to grapple him, tie him up, and carry him with the group. He named to goblin George and he has him ties in one of those toddler harnesses so he can't run away. Now the entire group is going through the dungeon capturing goblins, and one of them even managed to capture a hobgoblin.

[@MTheBasementReader]

I love your videos. I don't play DND due to lack of social skills, but I do play Ai Dungeon, and I once asked a man where he lived, which he replied "I don't know."

[@BrianVaughnVA]

I'm an introverted extrovert my friend, so I feel you.

[@therpgwriter8459]

I have so many of these stories, but one of my favorite is the billiard's eggs. Players are guests in the royal palace after fulfilling a quest. One is a forest witch on her first venture into civilization, another is a baby kobold. On their tour, they are shown the billiards room. Bad move. The two players who don't know what a ball is immediately assume the billiard balls are eggs of a sort. Perfectly round, hard eggs. They ask what bird lays such eggs. The duchess is super confused, especially when the players rescue the 'eggs' from crazy people who want to hit them with sticks. They end up taking the 'eggs' to the chicken coop to be hatched by the hens. Later, they asked a random palace guard about a billiard bird, and he decided to mess with them. I made up an entire encyclopedia entry on the spot for the billiard bird. What they look like, their habitat, their life cycle, everything. The third player in the group found the whole thing amusing, and figured it wasn't hurting the party any if he kept his mouth shut. I plan to end the campaign by having the billiard eggs be actually cockatrice eggs, that the group unwittingly hatches. They'll return from the final battle to find the entire population of the capitol city turned to stone. Knowing my players, they'll feel mollified.

[@ruga-ventoj]

I like to introduce Miley the Wrecking Bull. During a zombie invasion one shot, we run through the marketplace. We hear mooing coming south of the market plaza so we follow the sound while we run from the encroaching hoard. The turn before we turn a corner and find the source of the sound, a cow comes running around the corner with a trampled zombie stuck to her hoof. A zombie Ogre follows and we fight it. Miley the cow, having passed an Int and Wisdom check, sees the hoard behind the party and turns around to charge at the zombie ogre and help us kill the undead. After seeing the Miley kick some more zombies dead, the party wanted to keep her, until we hit a narrow alley way and had to split with her. Druid used Animal handling to tell her to meet us at the city gate, which she was able to do. Outside the gate we get hit with a zombie ambush and the final boss. A large Zombie king with player levels. Miley charges at the boss and slams him into a wall. The party cheered then gasped as we realized the king would attack her next, but luck was on our side. A player tiggered a reaction from the king and changed targets to the player. Which he and another gets dropped but the next few attacks. We hit the zombie king hard but with two out of four players left, we thought it was a tpk. Miley said moo as she nat 20 her charge and slams the zombie king through the wall and into the city walls behind it, killing the king. She gain 8 lvls in barbarian and is a zelot warrior of god now.

[@Arylwren1]

a few things that my group have latched onto randomly saying "buy my maps" when the party's Paladin cant make it to session (his char is a map maker) After our druid, Nightingale's Song, was killed via crit failed a check during a flaming hands was to say "Night passes, good bye night" Paladin found a griffin egg, it hatched and everyone would say from time to time "Baby griffy" Abomination managed to convince a bunch of goblins as minions, one fought with a sock made filled with its own poop. And yes, the three gobins in a trench coat was tried twice

[@Agent-00F]

*I throw my goblin at the like button*

[@bashily2844]

I THROW MY GOBLIN AT THE LIKE BUTTON TOO

[@handlebarfox2366]

+1 perception

[@kh40s07]

My first campaign, I stole a couch from a cultists lair and I still have it to this day

[@demoursa7275]

DM: Your wife turn and says to you "Scott I'm lea-" Me: I THROW MY GOBLIN AT HER

[@drcalcium9232]

I kidnapped the first major boss of my first campaign, he currently resides in my room, tied up and being used as furniture to my character, a cannibal who blew up the ship of said boss.

[@countsnowyofgwainn3996]

The Pooh of death Me, the first thing that popped in my brain: oh bother

[@t3chnowitch995]

Currently playing a Tengu Monk in a Pathfinder game. A while back she found a baby mimic in a cage in some lich’s lab, decided to free it and raise it as her own child. Party figures she’s gone batty and they’ll have to save her from a sticky death in the middle of the night but joke’s on them, they’re neutral by nature and she provided lawful nurture. He’s all grown up and has a character sheet now.

[@KBgamer2010]

One time our party found a closet of unlimited bombs....Aaaaaaand we have an alchemist that can enhance said bombs to the fullest, the next several rooms past that were demons, so the alchemist's idea was to..."Lets lead them back to the closet and use the bombs" We ended 5 rooms full of demons from the closet of infinite bombs. The Alchemist loved it so much, he tried to engineer the entire closet out of the castle and our Ogre Barbarian had to carry it like a backpack

[@harrynelson4678]

As a dm I had a character called the lightning dwarf he was a smuggler that had a lighting bolt branded on his horse, the party convinced him to give up a life of smuggling and start farming after stealing his horse. The dwarf would then take in any other bad guy they don't kill to work on the farm. They then over threw a Lord a couple real life weeks later making the lightning dwarf a translator for the fairy dragon that they put in charge. I am excited to see how they use him next.

[@Thalia_Aquaticaa]

Ok ok ok... Here's one that happened on Thursday. The party was at an old castle, and I rolled to inspect a wooden fence and I rolled a Nat 1. I got a splinter that was cursed and some *god forsaken ENTITY* began growing in my arm. After some shocked grumbling and multiple failed attempts to remove the splinter we headed into the castle to explore. We ended up splitting up to cover more ground, and I ended up walking down a corridor alone after my companion got silently ensnared in a net. Fast forward a few rolls from other parts of the party, my arm begins quaking and steaming. Suddenly a green copy of me (A Dragonborn rouge) falls out of my arm bone and begins running away. Turns out our life force is linked, and whatever happens to it happens to me. But... nobody else knows that. To them all they would see is a "green goblin" running at them at mach 3. I plan to make it my pet, and use it as a -meat shield- sneaky double so i can be in two places at once.

[@KitKatHexe]

If your life forces are linked to that is the complete opposite of a meat shield

[@Thalia_Aquaticaa]

@@KitKatHexe yeah, but I didn't figure it out until the DM explained after

[@nadavsc7462]

So it’s basically like gooigi (guigi?) from the new luigis mansion?

[@Thalia_Aquaticaa]

@@nadavsc7462 more like this kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5qyhKZ7pahljK8

[@puckshriekstheim6114]

Had a game where they came across an infant Grey Render. Rolled randomly tense who it latched on to, and it ended up being the party ninja. He took it to his training temple and it began to learn Martial Arts.

[@iaxacs3801]

So one of the 3 bards within the first 5 minutes of the campaign got married to her jailor named Tom. She threw him in her Aquarium bag of holding when they escaped. Tom drowned and now we have skele-Tom and his ghost appear once in a while. Than in a completely seperate campaign in an entirely different realm she finds someone named Tom she was supposed to help escape. Than we got Skele-Tom again. At this point i think our main DM has just accepted that Skele-Tom will happen in any of our campaigns and my one friend will be the cause of his death. It's like JoJo meets Final Destination

[@ToxicMynd]

The game was a post-post-apocalypse game set on mars where the differing races were aliens. The party adopted a 'special' chimera kitten (one head besides the anake tail) that was bought from a Tabaxi that was selling exotic pets. The Rogue adopted them and named them Feather after its wings, the wizard was deathly afraid of it but could not kill it as it wasnt hostile. It would casually follow the group, even into danger, untill they got a leash and had it stay in the car. It would sleep in the glove compartment and stash stolen goodies in it. they've found socks, coins, a flash drive, and jerkey in it.

[@googlepoodle5814]

15:28 40 lobsters break sneak into the commander’s chambers, and coup de grace him while he sleeps.