My Ayahuasca Trip into the DARK ABYSS | Aya Diaries PART 2/4

My ayahuasca experience (aya diaries part 2/4)| The dark abyss
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AYAHUASCA: Into The Dark Abyss | Documentary
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[@yourmatetom]

PART 1: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJWqk36PaZ6Gf8k Thanks to all you legends for watching, liking, sharing our videos. I'm so incredibly grateful for having awesome humans like you watching and supporting our content. This diary entry was quite raw, and a lot of it was me just rambling, but I think it's important to show my unfiltered thoughts throughout this process. So please do not misinterpret and think this video represents my final conclusions in any way. This is all a part of the journey unfolding, so watch all the parts if you want a bigger picture. Anyways, I hope all of you are staying safe during these crazy times. Any form of support such as Patreon pledges, one-time Paypal donation or buying merch will directly fund this documentary and the future of Your Mate Tom. It is completely up to you, however if you can spare the coin, then please feel free to toss it this direction. Thank you. Patreon: www.patreon.com/user?u=3120234&ty=h One Time Donation: www.paypal.me/yourmatetom Merch: teespring.com/stores/yourmatetom Have a great one. Love you guys, Tom

[@dougdrenick7081]

Your Mate Tom you should make another video expanding on this idea of when is a good and bad time to ground yourself during an ego death experience

[@isabelatome5160]

Your Mate Tom I have no words to describe how thankful I am for this video, Tom. It really felt as I was listening to a friend talk, with all your honesty and transparency. During many times on this video I related a lot to what you were saying, I’ve even started to tear up with you when you mentioned your grandmother. I’ve also been to some dark places in my psychedelic trips (not as dark as yours, I imagine) and I know exactly what you mean about the loneliness feeling, of not having someone who truly understands what you’re talking about. I really admire you for going through all this pain and suffering, and especially for sharing all your experience and wisdom with us. As I said, I’ve been through dark places as well and I really don’t want to go back further there, so to have you sharing this experience is very meaningful. Even though we don’t know each other I feel very connected to you, and from the bottom of my heart, I wish you the very best in this self knowledge journey. You’re a beautiful human being and do an amazing work with your videos. Thank you and peace 🙏🏽💜

[@suliemanmohammed2011]

May Allah guide you to the truth. Wherever it is. Ameen.

[@maverickhaxor1520]

Your awasome man

[@aceface9638]

Tom you are a living legend and I love how u say that if people like your content, you would invite them to sub. Unlike other youtubers , right away they say sub like and turn on that bell without the vid even starting yet. It's all love man

[@saoji7878]

I wish I knew someone like you in real life. Someone who’s able to talk so openly about what a human is .... thank you so much for doing what you do.

[@lord.kagiso3741]

I'm with you on this one...

[@lukalegin846]

Me too. When he talks about people that are alone on the path of awakening @20:17 That struck a cord. I'm not even sure if I wanna be sad about it and not being in the present moment and grateful but sometimes I'm sad

[@natureheals2]

I recommend you the teachings of Rupert Spira

[@triple_gem_shining]

mad respect. 43minutes and only part 2/4.. you truly are an ambassador for the psychedelics tom and im proud to have you apart of our community. keep growing bro.

[@OutOfTheBinary]

I see a new t-shirt coming: "There is no ashame to ask for lemon juice"

[@yourmatetom]

lmao that's a good one

[@tblightningbolt8902]

No shame but can become a crutch. Spend your journey waiting to pull the emergency exit vs working thru it. Another thing that works is activated charcoal.

[@brazilianambassadordale8223]

5:08 this is an all too familiar sensation for me. You wanna cling to that last shred of normality so hard, keeping your eyes closed engulfs you into the entirety of the universe too much and you simply need to keep your eyes open just to feel remotely human. Ineffably crazy shit

[@seadd1]

yep, most terrifying experience in my life..loosing my humanity, getting out of thus world/reality/matrix

[@BlankNames111]

It gets scary when your eyes are open and it dosent make any difference because you are no longer in your body

[@__sweetheartbabe]

@@BlankNames111 yess I would go back from opening and closing my eyes just wanting it to be normal but it wouldn’t and I just kept trying to hold on !!

[@RAJSAHA-bg3gf]

It’s so real you can’t close your eyes you feel the reality dissolving and it’s the scariest feeling in the world i struggled for hours on penis evny mushroom and universe kept saying you fucked up you are about to die I closed my eyes and surrendered in bed

[@SILVERSPADES]

production quality is so high! Feels like watching planet earth

[@Nyucify]

Funny; at the beginning of the video I thought: “Tom really lives up to his username. The way he talks - just like a good mate who is sharing his thoughts and stories with me/us.“ I loved how you came to the same conclusion at the end. And it seemed like you were surprised by that realisation! You are creating some high quality content and I enjoy the pretty animations and artistic shots very much. But above all, you always seem to be completely authentic, which, as I believe, is the real treasure of your art.

[@hyperspaceelf5198]

18:00-19:15 - Very powerful stuff Tom. Thank you for sharing your experience. There is an old saying, in many traditions and forms, about 'lighting a candle in the dark'...essentially, you will be able to see more, but you will also be able to see more of the pain and suffering in the world too. I think the mark left by experience over time in the psychedelic journey is an understanding and ability to adapt and accept that significant epiphanies, enlightenments, revelations, etc...whatever you want to call it, comes with a price. It seems to be the very nature of the timeless, 'toroidal flow' of information and energy, and there is no escaping that part of nature. If you allow what is essentially a psychological tsunami from a biochemical comet to blast through your psyche, you shouldn't be surprised when you drown in the aftermath and have to reassemble the hole in your mind where reality once stood solid as Rome. Rebuilding reality takes time. It reminds me of something that Alan Watts said, that later, both Terence and Dennis Mckenna reiterated often..."If you get the message, hang up the phone". Pretty wise words in the hindsight of picking up the pieces after a challenging trip. This is why Mckenna eventually stopped taking psychedelics. It's not to say there isn't more to learn, but if you're constantly hearing more than you can process, it's time to pump the brakes for balance.

[@AlanHowellphotovideo]

@@aleksandersmile3056 Satan/satanic forces are a myth. They come from Greek and Roman pagan myths and it was merely incorporated into Judeo-Christian religion. However, UFO's are documented all the time. It just doesn't mean they are alien or extraterrestrial. It just means they were simply not identified.

[@AlanHowellphotovideo]

@@aleksandersmile3056 by very definition, myths are not true history but folklore. There may be small bits and pieces that have some truth but when it comes to supernatural based myths, this is not the case. We know for a fact these 'hell concepts' are myths because we know the Bible was fabricated and changed and edited multiple times, despite it claiming to be perfect and inerrant. The earliest versions of the Bible had no mention of a 'fire and brimstone' hell. It wasn't until hundreds of years later that the Roman Catholic Church added the hell concept to the Bible as 'scare tactics' to covert the Pagans of that era. (They even commissioned Dante to write and illustrate 'Dante's Inferno' to give the hellish imagery more impact as scare tactics). So, since the 'government' changes people over and over, and almost never has a consensus or agreed-upon voice... it's not the government that is changing our history... it's the church. The Catholic Church is the one that has edited the Bible, and they have constantly failed to update our history when new information is received. Fortunately, historians and scholars are trying to keep it on track according to actual evidence instead of opinion and ideology. I'm a Bible scholar of over 3 decades so I know what I'm talking about. Here is a partial list of Bible versions that never mentions a hell concept... www.tentmaker.org/articles/Hell_is_Leaving_the_Bible_Forever.html

[@jackthewanker]

Just want to send you love, mate...

[@Em-gj2sg]

*Psychedelics seem to have taken us out of a state of almost sleep*

[@mennovanhaaster4769]

Like the commercial, but very true tho

[@cjfitness]

Why do i see these exact words commented everywhere??

[@kylematthews4807]

@@cjfitness haha because its a viral joke within the psych community

[@jamestylerhealth7712]

Mate, I resonated with this so much. I have been through a very similar experience (several times) as to what you described. It literally feels like descending into Hell or Madness - sheer terror, anxiety and fear that perpetually grows more and more intense and is inescapable. As you described your experience, it was as if you were describing my own. A few months ago I attended an Acacia Ceremony (similar plant to Ayahuasca but native to Australia). It was by far one of, if not, the most intense, challenging, yet liberating experience of my life. These sort of experiences are possibly one of the hardest lessons one can go through. However, what was learnt/realised from it is invaluable. I intend on making a video about my Acacia experience to share with everyone in the hopes that it will be helpful/insightful to people in some way. Thank you Tom for sharing your life/experiences with us. You are truly a wonderful human being who has so much to give and are helping the world in many ways that you may not realise but others do. Much Love X

[@Hanhandoesthecancan]

What I wanna know is why do people do this to themselves, to prove they can face this intense experience or to actually learn a lot?

[@callmeki8316]

You made this video directly after your very traumatic trip . I just wanna say YOU ARE SO BRAVE 🥺 and so strong ! I believe you !!!!

[@WaterLilyDreams]

Your description of the dark realm you experienced is pretty much exactly what I experienced this past June 2019! From the spiritual warfare of good and evil, down to feeling as if you are made of a pile of snakes or tentacles. My mind is blown. Extremely horrific, even with using all my spiritual and relaxation tools in my tool box, nothing seemed to give me relief. But I made it through. Amazing to hear someone else describe it so perfectly

[@WaterLilyDreams]

In the end I connected to friends and family, and appreciated the beauty of nature. Wow

[@unitedred1999]

I have watched quite a few KZbinrs describe their ayahuasca trips. But I dont remember anyone being as emotional as Tom. I truly felt your pain from the video, both this one & the video 3 yrs ago. I hope overall ayahuasca changed you for the better. Good luck with your life man!

[@puneetgrewal19]

I was thinking of doing it again one day, but I don't know I can take that trip that I had, which like you said was like all consuming. I wonder why I didn't get the lemon juice. You literally described my Ayahuasca. I get you. The Shamans said I need major microdosing. This intense trip happened on my 2nd night of my aya it was half the dose of the 1st night! I was like, what if microdosing still takes me like you said to that 10/10. I couldn't do the 3rd night. Your videos & the way you describe everything is so on point! I don't think I will do Aya again until I have an over the top calling. This helps so much.

[@kingrastatv802]

Mother Ayahuasca is such a magical plant medicine I’ve never even done it but from other peoples experience I can just feel the magnificent power she holds

[@Tripidelic]

I love your videos! Greetings from Mexico 👽

[@weevix3]

The idea of you doing a yearly tour with people really appeals to me! I have thought about going on a retreat for years but the thought of going on my own where I dont speak spanish etc has always held me back

[@jonesman6734]

I am crying cause i really feel that part with your gratitude for family. Through your openess to express your emotions you help me and others to connect with ours which leads to more self love. Your a gift to this world! Thank you for sharing🙏

[@quantum664]

You're the only youtuber that I feel obliged to turn up the resolution all the way😂😂 seriously good job mate, keep up the good work and the rediculous cinematography(it doesn't go unnoticed)

[@taras136]

I feel more connected watching you on KZbin that with lots of people in my life.. I hope you make sense of these trips.. in my bad trips I always ask to surrender and allow whatever is, around all the darkness and heavy stuff there is something sweet that comes from that allowance

[@kristianjoelbello8838]

Thank you for this tom. A Fan from the Philippines. This is entairtaining, informative but most of all, this showed me Im not alone which is relieving.. On a sidenote, wow.. this documentary video is something to be proud of. Truly a work of art.

[@downtownjb100]

What if you would have let go and let it take you? Do you really think you wouldn't survive it? It feels like that in the moment, and the last thing we want to do is surrender to it and dissolve, but that's where the breakthroughs come. Letting go. Facing the fear and malevolence head on. Walking directly into it. I know your journeying is far from over. One day you're going to look into that malevolence and see what's really there.

[@mosesramirez5325]

you’re not alone tom. i feel that way about my trips too. out of my friend group, i’m the only one that seems to have what i can only translate as religious experiences. makes you feel very alone, but there are many others who are there with you

[@milanmaksimovic4865]

I am talking from an acid point of view, it is best when you take a large enough dose that you do not have to surrender, you are simply there at one point and in the next second you are one with the universe.

[@hennyboy11]

Beautiful cinematography and sound design too, you’re really stepping up your content game bro, this is netflix level quality

[@getro8214]

I’m in love with your editing and the way you deliver the message is so profound! Edit: how can you “not come back”? You mean actually dying or losing your mind?

[@pablomarin-marquez1028]

Losing your mind i believe

[@getro8214]

@@pablomarin-marquez1028 so can someone become mad from this?

[@getro8214]

@SUFI-4- LIFE! ??????

[@pablomarin-marquez1028]

@@getro8214 well i think anything is possible. Ive definitely felt like the world will never be the same and that reality has been destroyed, but time heals these things from my experience

[@shaunm1983]

Deeply depressed people are always in a similar realm, I imagine

[@spiritfarmer463]

My first sesh with mother Aya was uncontrollable grief and sorrow and sobbing. I didn't understand it untill I did my second session with mother Aya and I knew I had to go through that shit to feel what love feels like. The simple message I recieved was if you have loved somthing, anything, in your life ... then thats enough. Thats it. So simple but so profound for me. Since then I've stopped chasing. Thanks Tom.

[@bjrntnnessen1747]

You are so strong Tom... Me and my girlfriend was in the jungle at the same time as you guys. Strong medecine... I had no idea What i was Getting in to. I am so proud, and so grateful for your work, I hope your integration is going good. I send love and clarity

[@The_New_Abnormal_World_Order]

I only discovered this channel yesterday, it is amazing, I appreciate and value the honesty.

[@michaelnel2581]

made me tear up man❤

[@elliavag5349]

So beautiful 💕 Grateful for your vulnerability, it’s so lovely to watch. Hope I get to give you a big hug one day! 🙏

[@julianthomson7558]

Your mate Tom... A channel where you watch a man lose his mind step by step on the internet only to watch him find his mind again step by step in an on going cycle

[@cameronjordan3009]

Who dislikes experiences of personal growth? Jeezus! Amazing video! Your becoming a professional editor wholy moly!

[@lucasfescina]

Some important point I would like to say: I believe these experiences can be achieved in sobers states, when we allow suffer an pain arise in our mind.. with psychotherapy, meditation, life experiences.. I know the differences of intensities, but if the results are the same, I think everyone should consider that mentality which is not recognized enough in our times.

[@D3rMesaa]

Pain is pain, panic is panic

[@jennifpol]

Thank you for your service, mate🙏

[@DeGarisJ]

What a brilliant video Tom! Really, hats off to you. Your ability to make great videos has grown a lot over the years. Keep it up man and I hope to one day meet you :-)

[@flymfull]

Always a pleasure listening to you mate, love from France

[@jamessclar]

Most excellent! Love yah mate! 🌈⚡️

[@sebastianmartinez5508]

I am wondering. Since MDMA has been proven to be great to treat PTSD...maybe MDMA could serve a few months after a traumatic trip. I say months after because it probably better to first process everything sober, but after a while M could be helpful in both processing the trauma and integrating the experience.

[@divyanshsingh9102]

Drugs shouldn't treat drugs unless absolutely required.

[@sebastianmartinez5508]

@@divyanshsingh9102 PTSD is PTSD. I am not suggesting drowning your sorrows in alcohol every day, or even rolling every weekend (or month), but actually taking MDMA after a few months of processing the trauma sober, then going on sober as much time as you need to process everything. Ideally doing so along a therapist but if not doing it with a good close friend and talking about what happened and doing some introspection under M (tested and weighted). Drugs shouldn´t treat drugs is a motto that often makes sense, but not in this case. What you should avoid is using a substance to run away from problems, this is not what I am suggesting. I am suggesting to take the problems head on with a chemical help.

[@renux1231]

@@sebastianmartinez5508 well said my man

[@bluematrix5001]

Tom, brother, when Ayahuasca said "is not easy to save a life" I am pretty sure she meant that for you, that in order to save others people life "in service" (people that are having such a terrifying experience, like you did 3 years ago ..etc) you needed to experience and feel those terrifying experiences to be able to to help others ("save life)", and as you know, those experiences were "not easy"....... feeling and experience are the best teachers.........

[@MMARE369]

My second ceremony with Aya was 5 hours of sobbing and deep sorrow with no visuals. I consider it as my best one and I knew I'm not done when it was over.

[@stephenhawkingMLG]

Always hype for your videos, keep up the great work Tom!

[@mariasteeneveldt7217]

❤thank you for everything you do Tom!

[@lennoxlewis2]

It feels like you have some thought on the underworld in a mythical sort of way, possibly the heavens and angels too? and the devil. do a video on your perceived view on the mythical/spiritual side of some sort, because i have those envisions too

[@pluto1417]

Ayuhascha is the devil

[@pluto1417]

And the Hell paradigm is real. I’ve been there on LSD. It’s not fun at all.

[@Tdtsnowflake]

I see hell as a force and not an actual place but light that is in disorder

[@fyrespirit999]

I recently did 4 G of mushrooms with lemon juice tek... Spent an hour with my friend sobbing and freaking out. Major existential crisis and a lot of what you talked about here is exactly what came up with me. Why was I torturing myself like this? I was originally planning to do it in a dark quiet room but that seemed too scary to me and then found myself needing to shut myself in the closet to block out all the light because I was so overwhelmed with information. In the past I would deal with that first hour by curling up in a ball covered in a blanket but then I was self judging because it felt like escapism so I was going to just take it all head on. I learned that it's really ok to just curl up in a ball if I feel too overwhelmed. I still get crazy stuff happening with my eyes closed but things don't look crazy when I close my eyes. When I tried to open my eyes, not only was everything way too crazy to look at, I could tell my eyeballs were literally vibrating on top of all that. I bawled my eyes out about suffering that had no purpose or meaning. It really bothered me that there could be meaningless suffering that had no ultimate purpose. After that completely bonkers hour it was beautiful bliss and connection but I'm still on the fence if it was actually worth what I went through. I think the biggest issue is that, for some reason, I get a major anxiety/adrenaline response for the first hour and it's not based on anything I'm thinking about or focused on. It's just a physiological reaction that my body goes through and all my deep breathing and surrendering doesn't make that feeling go away. Nothing I did made it go away except just letting time pass. I really wanted to just surrender to it and was very distraught that everything I tried failed. Thank goodness my friend was with me talking to me with her soothing voice and holding me though it. I think in the future I'll probably avoid the lemon tek. Funny how lemon calms you with ayahuasca but with mushrooms it's like being shot into space in a rocket. Way too much way too fast!

[@Hanhandoesthecancan]

This sounds horrible, higher doses are meant to be for shamans only or with guides for a reason I suppose, I don’t think I could fathom going that deep 😆

[@fyrespirit999]

@@Hanhandoesthecancan 4 grams is normally very therapeutic for me. Still a lot in the beginning part but after that first 30 min to an hour it's quite amazing. I think the lemon tek is what made it way too much. It delivers much more rapidly. Normally I eat chocolates and it comes on more gradually but it kind of resets my brain. I've tried lower doses and it doesn't reset like the 4 gram dose does. I've never heard of a person needing a shaman for mushrooms but I did have someone with me each time and a plan. I try different things each time. So far the best one was turning on a guided kundalini mediation I found on youtube for the beginning part. It was very helpful in keeping me focused and down a good path.

[@driespottas7679]

So glad you had it man. 🔥You handled it 💪

[@RaewynReid]

highly appreciated - thank you! greetings from germany

[@maverickhaxor1520]

Thanks for the video. Feel like I connected with you man for sure. Going though some stuff. Appreciate it, really good video.

[@LoLeKarlchen]

i'd love to go with you on such a tour man

[@sushandesai2515]

Amazing bro, I could feel it!!

[@sallykaptan]

That's so amazing! Your story's horrifying, but the visuals are so unique, great job! Btw, Ayahuasca video from three years ago was actually the first video that I watched on your channel.

[@jeremycasper5181]

I see you buddy peace and love

[@fyrerayne8882]

there's a lot of things to explore in eternity....... ...... ..... .... ... .. .

[@AHideousPlatypus]

Thank you mate

[@joshjohnston4962]

Congrats on 200k

[@surfergirl7858]

Were you ever concerned of feelings of DPD/DRD returning after your ayahuasca experiences? I know you've discussed this topic before on previous videos. I'm greatly interested in working with aya but have experienced these feelings in the past. Thanks for the videos!

[@jessemontano6399]

Ime, these experiences are not without drawbacks/side effects/etc...in my humble opinion....stay safe, whoever you are!!!!

[@motherfalconer]

17:46 Exactly why I watch your videos and would love to connect with you. You are the only person I've witnessed--and I can tell by the way you speak/present yourself--who I can tell has had similar experiences to myself; not in a elitist way but in an honest way. Your content can be a grounding medicine at times for my fears. Haven't watch the rest yet but, I hear you on that one. Being alone in it can sometimes further or worsen the anxiety around it. From my knowing: I send you peace and certainty that you are heard, received and appreciated. Thank you.

[@Magentacosmicstar]

Maybe the teaching relates to needing to deal with repressed guilt first in order to be able to service others from a different place? Perhaps there is a felt guilt from wrongdoings that a really unconscious part of you believes it deserves punishment for, so it projects these visions and experiences of pure horror and suffering. It seems that when you finally got in touch with those feelings of guilt, your mind, instead of processing them, jumped to the "need to be in service" mode, which, in a way, symbolically rectifies any perceived wrongdoings. Its almost as if there were three people inside of you fighting for space: the Martyr, the Hero and the Compassion-deserving inner self/inner child that just needs to be loved despite their possible mistakes. And the first two are winning.

[@cliefivanlope2719]

cant wait for the next part. you deserve more support here and on patreon :)

[@magingi]

It seems to me, that there may be times, with certain individuals, when the effects of the drugs become overwhelming, but not so much in relation to the neurological characteristics of the specific drug and dose necessarily, rather, psychological and physiological trauma may be manifest in terms of 'shock'. So the organism recognizes that it has been 'poisoned' and so thus a fight ensues regardless of how this battle actualizes mentally. Accordingly, any such redeeming features or yearning for some sort of reconciliation or healing is left by the wayside. All the body and mind desires, is to be rid of the experience and to return to good health. This may be more likely if the person has been there before; a reawakening of an already known and understood process such that hurt and pain repeats like an endless loop. Sometimes that fight will get the better of the body and mind, leading to permanent trauma or even death. Not due to an over dose so much as shock. Learning to trust yourself, is body and mind. Listen. 'You' are the best guide there is. Be well. ;)

[@hansappels5400]

What an experience Tom..... I always love your story's.. Thanks man.... To understand the world and humanity incluse also all the pain... Very well spoken..

[@stormseager2991]

I'd love to see a video about tools for ayahuasca. I understand nothing can prepare you for the mind scaping experience, but it would be good to know of tools to use if you're having a bad trip

[@tomsmith8488]

Hey Tom, Tom here; Have you ever considered opening a Ayahuasca retreat in the United States? With your and Dakota's experience and knowledge, you all could help a lot of people. Being a sensitive, I've been drawn to Psychedelics but yet to try any.

[@Kor835]

Greetings from Uruguay 🇺🇾🇺🇾 bro

[@adrianogulino7391]

"Jesus ain't gonna save you here Pal" Damn

[@LozaPoza]

I know pretty evil right ... It's clear to me that ayahausca invokes demons not just figments of the subconscious mind.

[@superioropinion7116]

@@LozaPoza I would just glance over this comment and think nothing of it if I haven't experienced the same shit myself

[@lukalegin846]

Behind the veil and the curtain of this world, there is a war going on. It's for our soul.

[@thepsalms2806]

@@LozaPoza thank you, I know a lot of people don't want to hear it but these things are demonic in nature

[@LozaPoza]

@@thepsalms2806 I'm glad I'm not the only one who's eyes are open to this. I can't lie tho I was at one point in my life tempted by the allure of psychedelics and it's claim to heal any psychological wound such as trauma or depression but the more I look into it, the more apparent it seems that psychedelics are like opening a spiritual door that one may never be able to close again. Mike on this channel spoke about depersonilisation and from a Christian stand point, that to me seems like demonic possession. As powerfully "lifechanging" psychedelics appear to be, they also seem to be equally destructive. Feeling like you're a passenger in your own body is not worth the "mystical" visuals and the supposed spiritual healing that these plants supposedly offer. It took me a long time to reach this conclusion but thanks to the discernment of the holy spirit and reading scriptures that even warn against such having "false" visions; Ezekiel 7-13 ( I suggest you read this ) I've realised that the temptations for psychedelics are similar to that of Adam and Eve and how they were deceived into eating the fruit in order to "be like the gods" and attain some spiritual enlightment. Let us not fall for the same trap And P.S I don't think that it's a coincidence that throughout the world people who take ayahausca all talk about encountering some androgynous serpent deity that gives them "wisdom". That's a spiritual red flag right there ... On one hand Lucifer promises light and enlightment on the other hand Satan takes away what was promised and just leads you into destruction. Psychedelics are just a spiritual manifestation of Lucifers tricks playing out again as they always have ...

[@KezickTV]

Tom thank you for all your videos, and this one alike. Thank you for being real and emotional on camera, sometimes its very helpful and its helped me a lot, just talking about things and being completely open makes you so real and relatable thank you man, never give up.

[@yolandatejedor214]

I love seeing your evolution in those channel Tom! You inspire to jump into the dark parts of myself bravely regardless how painful it might be There cannot be light without darkness I love you 💕

[@marielamedina2169]

I can definitely understand the feeling of being one with all, feeling everyones pain and feeling like I cant handle it. Thank you for sharing your experiences with everyone. There is a reason why you had that terrific experience...if you hadn't experienced it you would not be able to relate or even be of service to someone who is going through that. Now you can, now you know how to help. I have been doing Ayahuasca for many years now and I just barely had a deep awakening this last one I did. It was the most painful but beautiful experience Ive ever had.

[@freakyboo4811]

Tom, I'm grateful for the beautiful video's you make where you open your heart to the world -- you have a real talent. I'm just wondering why you are so often derogatory of "hippies" as though they are lesser human beings, even though you always seem to agree with them? Hippies started the revolution which we are now beneficiaries of, so I'm wondering why they get so much hate and contempt on channels like this?

[@itsstrawman]

"Rodeo" is a good description for that place. Like a voodoo rodeo. That shit was horrifying and all I could think was "good person, clean heart, good person, clean heart".

[@Maple_loop222]

Do you feel content afterwards ?

[@kenrick66]

Try daylight ceremonies instead.

[@enotra]

Wise words for this particular situation.

[@SublimeLullaby]

From what I remember when I heard someone's soul crying was like the earth mourning in pain

[@Tdtsnowflake]

Tom thank you for expressing your journeys using these medicines much love and light buddy🙏❤️

[@ViagensGringa]

Thats the worst when u trip balls before the icaros even start. I can’t believe ppl have done it 100s of times. The way I see it, if we don’t do the work now we’ll have to do it in the afterlife, so might as well get it over with while u can take incarnate action. I call aya the Xmas Carol drug, Ebenezer Scrooge woulda been way more fucked if he wasn’t visited by those ghosts. My circle in Oakland is dope af and here it’s decriminalized.

[@Nenirama]

I respect you so much man.. no words, just thank you ❤️

[@madhuanand8218]

what was the soundtrack at the start? trippy !!!

[@xJoao444]

I cried with you while watching the part while you spoke about how you were grateful for how many people love you and how sorrow came up about how you you’ve treated certain people in your life bad before and thought about all your family and friends, I had this feeling as well during LSD sometimes we have to let everything come up no matter how hard it is🙏🏽as emotional as it is it’s very therapeutic but it’s healing!!!❤️And after the experience you feel amazing and refreshed because you let everything out😅 much love to you Tom and everyone reading this🙏🏽444 brothers and sisters

[@sigurdsigurdsen7169]

Psychedelics tsken us out of almost sleep, bla bla

[@kiddtuffnuff]

youll figure it all out.it hit me around 37 and one day it all just made sense

[@barjee8965]

The fact that you said you got covered in spiders >.< i'll bet that brew had some datura......

[@InnerPeaceBeats777]

I resonate with you 100%

[@hairyleg2528]

Where are the big lez episode gone

[@joaoramos32]

Hey man, i just wanna say that i relate a lot and understand what you mean when you were talking about "realizing the negative side of understanding that everything is connected - all the pain that already happened in the history of the world". I did 5 ayah ceremonies in iquitos 2 years ago, and i was confronted a lot with the fragility and bizarrenness of being a human being. All the 10000x horrible ways that is possible for a human (or even any living being) to suffer or experience sickness in this world... Pretty intense and scary shit. I guess it helped to appreciate the simples things in life more, such as purely being able to breath everyday and being generally healthy. Thanks for this videos, really cool to see what your experience was like! Definitely inspired me to go back there again and explore a bit more what this amazing and mysterious plant teacher has to teach me. Cheers from Portugal brother!

[@MrNicot1ne]

Holy bro, it seems you had an amazing experience. Very inspiring Tom, especially the part with your Grandmother. Sending love bro.

[@DenyCommunity]

I really feel you on your experiences tom. Thanks for sharing! Keep the good work up! :D

[@mattcapitalized]

cheers Tom, thanks for the vids

[@Melibond64]

I know what you're talking about Tom... thank you so much for being here

[@jesustoldmetounfuckmyself8440]

"Imagine dying in a hospital and ask for lemon juice saying this trip too much" 😂😂😂 I fucking love you Tom

[@jordyverduyn]

Thanks mate!

[@santigabriel333]

'Trinity' I know how you feel Tom because recently I had a psychedelic experience without any plant psychedelics. Just what my body can do and my intuition. (I never done any psychedelics, just always payed attention to when i feel happy, at peace, blissful, in agony or in ecstasy. So i am very familiar with my mind and my traumas and everyday i meditate on the causes of anxieties and problems like if it were chess. I like to listen to music and just trip out on my own without external medicine basically because its hard to explain, one day i might make music ot write books about life or something. I always tap into this intuitive place where it feels like a portal to our home in the midst of all these realms and it feels like the middle of my brain but also the top. I realized that human perception is limited to two hemispheres, two eyes, to nostrils, two parts of the tounge, two lungs, two heart chambers, two balls, two breasts, male and female ect. In general its like in pairs. And there are points in the middle like the anus, the penis or vagina, the belly button, the two flaps that make us sing, ECT. All these points and I just feel harmony when they synchronize or something i feel my eyes roll up and im electrified by ecstasy for about 10 mins sometimes and i feel like a mini trip of a new start. Trying not to over explain here but I remember I was taking a nap yesterday and I was lucid dreaming about all the causes of my demise but how grateful i was for how i dealt with things and also the great things that happened to me. Then I remember i felt like my mental body or something was in that bliss state but my physical body was paralized because of the sleep. And i felt like i was static and levitating. This was in the nap but the dream was from the morning. In the nap i came back. In the morning i had that dream of gratefulness when i felt how my brain went from a state of wakefulness like it was inflated and then to sleep which was like deflates and relaxed and i was getting visuals of my brain being two sided like two fibbonachi sequences spiraling and i saw my reflection and i controlled it and i was like "why is everything dualistic?" Then it was like I felt myself spiraling and I saw my reflection play dead when i made it do that and I was like "okay I cant be ascending right now because my body is parallized" (Im starting to realize that these two dreams were like connected and i cant remember which one was the nap or the morning dream) So i was pacing trying to wake my body up, i think i was in ny astral body running around my room but it didn't feel like my astral body because i remember that my astral body was more vivid. This mightve been my mental body? And i was pacing trying to wake up my physical body from sleeping and i was like alright let me just sit upright and relax into the bliss state and then i felt myself like click into my physical body and my eyes opened and boom. Awake. The key to getting out of an accidental nap paralysis was to relax and like ease into my body like quick sand.

[@martinsachs3837]

mate, it sooo obviouse how your getting it all upside down. the intention was pretty general, and ayahuasca shows you what your issues really are. all the fight is just not letting ego death happen. your a pretty avarage weight guy with a lot of psychedelic experience. so imagine drinking a whole cup. would the maestro allow it? if yes, your just doging even fully going into ayahuasca. as terence mckenna said: the problem is not taking too much, the problem is taking too little. your stretching ego death to an all night experience instead of just going. imagine your dentist extracting a tooth for 3 hours i stead of just pulling it out.

[@jakexuereb6358]

Thanks for sharing Tom, this has helped me heaps in approaching future trips. Enjoy the integration phase bro ✌🏼

[@simonbackwash]

Tom you just give me the BEST business idea : I'm gonna open a Benzo on demands pharmacy in front of this Ayhauesca retreat. Joke aside i'm totally ignorant about Ayhauesca : does benzos actually works as trip killer like for other psych or you just fucked with lemon juice and sniffing black pepper ?

[@movementencouragedfitness5945]

I watched a random video of a black man talking about his experience. It’s interesting to me that all the sources I go to. No matter how diverse or different there is a similar theme. Of course each experience is super different. But the theme....is very similar. Anyway dude thanks for your uploads! About a year ago I was watching one of your videos and your girlfriend said something about love and I remember crying on the spot. I think that was early 2019. Anyway dude. Stay well.

[@MoreSoulBoxing]

this is awesome man im on minute 20 with no interruption lolll

[@nickwoodhouse_22]

20 Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, 21 Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: 22 And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, 23 Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.

[@spencerh2619]

Appreciate your channel and everything you do. Do you get nervous before these trips?? I really want to try ayahuasca at Arkana but I just recently tried DMT and the entities really made sure to imprint the fact you should only trip purposefully. And I’m not sure if I’m ready for the extended trip that ayahuasca gives you.

[@XX-bl1nc]

I’m about to embark on my first ayahuasca journey and having this kind of experience is what terrifies me the most about ayahuasca. I’m struggling between understanding the need to ground yourself to feel human but also letting ayahuasca consume me because I don’t want to fight what the medicine is trying to show me, good and bad. I’ve heard from people that fighting it is what prolongs this deep darkness and a lot of ppl have let it consume them and got themselves out of that dark place almost instantly. My thoughts are by letting it consume you I guess that’s where you can get a complete ego dissolution and be reborn. Idk I’m on the fence about it because that complete ego death seems to be what you were struggling to give into to and you have valid concerns too because what if it’s not that and it’s demons trying to possess you. How we do navigate this?