My Daughter Is Complaining That I'm Not Funding Her Worthless Degree r/Relationships

[@blackcat-rc5ee]

Quick reminder for story 2: Emotional Support Dogs are not Service dogs and do NOT have public access rights. The only thing they are protected for is housing, motels, and (mostly) on airlines

[@Tokuijin]

Some states grant the same permissions to pets.

[@samssams666]

I think it will depend also, on the disorder that you have, I think, having severe anxiety might be a reason to have an emotional support dog in the workplace, but HR needed to do a better job in the story, and I agree that OP is just digging herself a hole by being petty about it, and what she should do is go to the higher-ups higher than who she talk to already, and keep talking about it, and logging things until they do something, HR should’ve either told the girl with the emotional support dog that they are not allowed unless it’s a service dog and they either need to get re-licensed or they can’t have the dog there, or they should’ve allowed OP to move desks or moved the emotional support, dog and the owner to another area where they wouldn’t constantly be going all over the place, I think with an emotional support animal you can be away from them for 5 to 10 minutes just to go grab some thing from the other room, without needing to take them with you, so I think moving them to another office room would’ve been better, given HR refusing to make them leave.

[@Entrantress]

amen in that what a dick. It’s not a service animal it’s an accessory.

[@LovesGaming37]

Emotional Support Animals have no protections at all. The ADA doesn't recognize them so they have no protections

[@ikeohno9767]

​@Sam service dogs have no licenes or registrations in ghe US under the ADA, which is federal law. If you have severe enough anxiety you need the dog, get them task trained and PA ready and make them a service dog.

[@CravenWolf1986]

Many women in my family are nurses/doctors. I've been told my whole life (mostly by my mother) that medicine is a calling, equivalent to a religious vocation. You can tell a HUGE difference between a nurse/doctor that had the calling and those that haven't. And the ones that were pressured/forced to go into medicine? Probably worse than the ones that went into it because of their God complex.

[@kathrynesq8814]

Same with law. Stay away from the lawyers whose parents forced them into it or who only saw dollar signs. Maybe the doctor brothers believe the sister will not be a good doctor, and they should know.

[@sfsin3380]

@@kathrynesq8814 And Accounting two thirds of my course failed/dropped out. A lot of them had been pushed into the course when they didn't have the interest, aptitude or prerequisites. Interest is obvious but accounting takes a certain mind for numbers that many of them just didn't have and then there was the prerequisites. There were 3 "recommended" secondary/high school electives Accounting, Business and Economics it's recommended have at least one but not required to get in. In practice there was way too much to cover in first year so they just skimmed that part to move on to the new stuff. if you didn't already have some base knowledge you'd be lost most of the people who made it to the end had done two of the three. There was one girl I was friends with who hadn't take any of them and despite her best efforts and our touring she just could not keep up. Her parents had pushed the course but hadn't done any real research into what she needed.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1: I really wonder what the "rebelling" was and why she's "the black sheep" given how OP comes off in the post. Also love how Dr. Control Freak revealed his daughter got into Oxford of all places for her english degree and acts like she wants to go to some nowhere university for a degree in planking or something.

[@shaunwhitehead1485]

His money his choice, yes! Also an English degree, may as well be liberal arts

[@sarahmaxima]

Checked the comments on that post , ops child is possibly lgbt in some kind of way, somwhere in the comments op was talking about how they were experimenting with gender somewhat and was quite rude about that if i recall correctly.

[@ruthhenderson5413]

@@shaunwhitehead1485 : Ahem. An English degree IS a liberal arts degree, and it is considered one of the best and most versatile degrees, especially from a uni like Oxford or Cambridge. Writing skills and literary/cultural skills necessarily involve thinking skills, and i believe Dr. Macho there might have done a lot better in his own field if he had better grammar and thought processes.

[@shaunwhitehead1485]

@@ruthhenderson5413 Keep telling yourself that, wait you paid to study liberal arts didn’t you 🤣🤣

[@ruthhenderson5413]

@@shaunwhitehead1485 : Nope, earned a Merit Scholarship to do so, and i made a lot of money from it subsequently [sorry to inflict a four-syllable word upon you]. Don't cry, you'll get over it eventually [oops, five syllables, couldn't help myself]. There, there now Shaunee.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Story 1 here I was thinking OPs daughter wanted to do some dodgy degree from a cult… but it was English and I laughed then it was Oxford holy hell man. I’m glad he came to his senses.

[@user-me7iw6ft8z]

Story 1 NTA at all. I would do almost the same. The comments sadly pushed him on the wrong path. Anybody who said yta just helped to set his daughter up to faliure.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

@@user-me7iw6ft8z So only medical, or legal, degrees are useful? By your thinking, there should be no scientists, no teachers, no nurses, no electricians, no plumbers, no artists, no actors, no builders, no architects, no engineers, no carpenters, no vetinary surgeons or vetinary nurses, no historians, no archivists, no mechanics, in fact no other professions at all. Good look finding a doctor or solicitor ('lawyer' in the American language) when your car needs repairing, or your pipes burst, or your lights go out, or your pets need care. You don't have the balls to reply politely to a woman, and non-American, so run along little hater.

[@shmellomello]

"She decided to be herself." Bro says that like it's a bad thing. His daughter is going to Oxford ffs. He sounds like a tool.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Misogyny is BUILT IN DEEP with this ouche bag. She made it into Oxford and daddy is NOT intelligent enough to get in. English degrees are useful. She could be a professor a teacher etc. dads a USELESS FUKR and moms jelly so she joins bashing janes “useless “ Oxford English degree.

[@Morpheusdarkson]

Nah she’s gonna be a hoe. As if her Oxford degree will matter when she’s a English major lmao.

[@thesamuraiman]

I was thinking the same thing. Like, damn, being herself isn't what you want for your kid?

[@corawellsome]

Right that's what irritated me the most I hope he doesn't say that crap to his daughter sounds like a real loving father

[@tinak2576]

OP was complaining about Oxford??!! Like she’s decided to live in their basement and play video games all day??

[@sagejungwirth4155]

Use to be a janitor myself. 100% would rather deal with bins of allergy tissues than the endless build up of dander and pet fur in an office setting. If anything I wouldn't be upset by bins of tissues, rather I'd be very concerned that someone might be being forced to work will chronicle ill. Plus, whether it's in ops bin or someone else's, the tissues would need to be thrown out regardless, thus op was never creating an additional burden for the janitorial staff. It was actually the dog that would be creating an additional burden

[@damien678]

I love my two kittens, but...oh lordie the fur on everything...

[@Bala_Niranna]

Do not understand the commenter mad about op throwing his tissues away. What was he supposed to do, pocket them????

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Plus, also having been a janitor a long time ago, it’s not like you pull the garbage out by hand. You either pull the entire bag out by its edges and cinch it up, or if it’s a “clean” bag (there’s nothing in it except paper waste), you turn the entire wastebasket upside down into your main bin and then put the office basket back.

[@totallyguhdude]

So...did OP not know that his daughter got into Oxford until they had their talk, or did he conveniently leave that out to try & sway more people to his side, because he knew he was wrong all along?

[@sfsin3380]

Given how little OP seemed to understand the English education system I think it was the former. The decision of what university courses she could take was made when she was 15/16, applied for her A levels and picked her subjects. It was way way too late for OP to be bring this up.

[@user-me7iw6ft8z]

Story 1 NTA at all. I would do almost the same. The comments sadly pushed him on the wrong path. Anybody who said yta just helped to set his daughter up to faliure.

[@iAstra]

Story 2: There's no way OP is in the wrong! I have several allergies, among them, an allergy for a lot of different types of fur. I break out in hives, my eyes, ears and the roof of my mouth will itch mercilessly as my eyes start to water and sting. My nose will not stop running and I'll start to get trouble breathing. It's awful. I'm like this at home, because I have guinea pigs. If I hold them to my shirt, I need to change shirts, if they touch any part of my skin that isn't the palm of my hands, my skin breaks out in hives. I can barely enter my livingroom, where I keep them, without sneezing up a storm. When I and they are at my parents' place, we share a room and I can barely breathe during the night. With all that, I choose to have them, because my mental health suffers otherwise, and that's more important. If I was forced to be around someone else's pet that I was that allergic to while I have to work, I'd get pissy too. OP even tried to be moved away from the dog

[@GIChiyo]

Story 2: Yeah I would not be surprised if the supervisor and the dog lady were more than friends I bet...

[@MusicGirl881]

For story 2: I’m surprised that the supervisor wasn’t fired and the coworker didn’t get in trouble. The supervisor was notified by OP about their allergy and instead of taking the allergy seriously and going with the suggest to have OP move desks or have the coworker be in an different office space with the dog he tells OP to suck it up and just with it. After reading and hearing that part that supervisor was asking for themselves and the company to be sued. Also since OP has the allergy and asthma their life would have been in danger if they had a bad reaction at work due to the dog and that triggered an asthma attack. With the coworker even though they didn’t know about OP’s allergy before bringing the dog the fact that it’s not an actual certified support animal and lied to the company, with the supervisor’s help, and would have gotten them in serious trouble.

[@katwitanruna]

In the US there are companies who make you pay for a certificate but it’s not a legal requirement. According to the ADA; the service dog must be trained to be polite in public, the person may be asked if they have a disability and what tasks the service dog does for them. That’s it. There may be some states which require one but on the federal level there are none. IOW there is no official government registration for service dogs.

[@zozocecp]

@@katwitanruna I think the main thing is that it’s an emotional support animal. They are not protected by law like service animals

[@katwitanruna]

@@zozocecp Concur. I wrote that before hearing it was an emotional support animal. I have written another where I discuss the difference twixt service dogs (or miniature horses) and emotional support animals. There are no federal registration lists for either.

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

Unfortunately in the uk, allergies, especially severe ones, are not seen as anything more than "inconvenient" despite them being disabilities. The uk has a very, very nasty stigma about invisible illness and invisible disabilities and its disgusting frankly. I've experienced it myself as I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user and at 32, I dont "look" disabled on my good days. I use a walking stick on my good days and I've actually had people on the bus accuse me of faking it and "using it as an excuse to get sympathy for being fat" I've had people tell me just last week actually at the hospital that I "dont look autistic" and that I "dont act like I have ptsd" whatever the fudge that means! I've even had the police tell me I don't have the legal right to expect my neighbours to not park their 4x4 on my front doorstep and if I cant get my wheelchair out of the house, maybe I should just stay inside instead of inconvenienceing everyone because I dont look disabled and I'm on disability benefits so I'm probably faking it anyway (long story, ongoing issue and yes the neighbours actually do park so close to my front door their back tire has left scuff marks against my frontdoor) even in 2023 the uk is ridiculously discriminatory against disabilities and especially invisible ones

[@katwitanruna]

@@maddydavidsdottir9862 ::hugs from the us:: I made an icon long ago about that. It says “Will trade invisible disability details in exchange for polite empathy” it has an empty wheelchair on it.

[@Em-n-m]

Story 1: “but instead she decided to be herself” 💀

[@owl7072]

Story 2: Op: _basically dying and trying to stay alive_ Supervisor: God you're so passive aggressive and attention seeking

[@sleepingkirby]

My wife has bad periods. It's better now but when she first got them, she was literally delirious with pain. Like, talking to people that aren't there delirious. Her mother accused her of faking it for attention. It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that her mother loves to do things for attention including faking illnesses...

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

​@@sleepingkirby Your mother in law sounds like a real gnarly phoque of a hoarfrost.

[@sammieh9695]

The story about the dog. An ESA does not have the rights of a service animal! OP is being forced to trial medications and should be going to HR over this issue.

[@str4yk1dsw0rldd0minati0n]

"One would think that this would motivate Jabe to go on the same path but instead she has decided to be herself" that really infuriated me, what's wrong with someone being themselves?!

[@KCohere33]

Story 1: The contempt he has for his daughter is just dripping off this post.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Way for OP to bury the lead. “Oh yeah, she wants an ENGLISH degree…from OXFORD.” Yep, getting and English degree from a University that’s world renowned for its English Lit (and related) program is going to be TOTALLY useless. It’s like whining that your kid is going to get an engineering degree from MIT.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

Story 1, how could he leave out that his daughter was going to Oxford!? Seriously…

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Because he knew putting that little detail in would definitely expose his backside. I'd bet my life's savings he's a covert narc

[@lenax9798]

Wow, imagine telling an asthmatic person with allergies that they're an a-hole for *checks notes* being allergic. That's low. I have a few allergies and am a lung patient. Breathing can be hard sometimes and it sucks. I'm not allergic to dogs but I'm allergic to morphine, pineapples, bananas and pears. The first one makes me vomit uncontrollably and the three others give me horrible stomach cramps and diarrhea that takes in hours to be over. It's hell and i don't even want to imagine how OP felt in her situation if mine is already bad as it is. Allergies are no joke and it's about time people start taking them seriously. No it doesn't give you the right to be a D or be entitled but it's normal to expect some decency from others. Also not telling an office that there will be an animal is a huge D-move and manager should get fired. Allergies aside, dogs are not clean animals and should not be inside an office. And animalphobias and fears excist too. I'm afraid of dogs and will go out of my way to avoid them, sometimes even crossing the street or taking another route if i see one coming in my direction. Had i been op and i had not given the time to slowly get to know the dog, I'd immediately put in my two weeks notice and be out of there before i get a panic attack. Op is NTA and you should readjust your moral compass, Markee, sorry!

[@ahumanbeing4]

Story 2- allergies can KILL you! Wth

[@animebabe44]

Not only that, a non lethal allergy can escalate to lethal allergic reaction with one too many exposures.

[@ahumanbeing4]

@@animebabe44 I know,right? I had a mild allergy to cats for many years but a few months ago I got scratched while pet sitting and my whole arm swelled up in seconds. Shit was wild. Good kitty tho,just got spooked.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

I swear I felt like I was tripping with theses comments.

[@nolav9280]

Bro, it's OXFORD. Honestly, I can see the LC/NC a mile away. Also, calling your own daughter a "black sheep".......

[@shersmk90]

Inwas literally shouting! Barely anyone gets in to Oxford university ! Her grades must be incredibly high and she definitely is smart! The dad is a snobbish ahole!

[@sophdog2564]

The allergies can be seen as a disability issue. I looked into this a lot because I once was living in a pet free apartment (because I have a severe dog and cat allergy) but my roommate got an "emotional support dog" and I needed to stop loving with it. I never ended up doing anything about it because I liked my other roommates and realized I would probably be the one moved by our student housing, but three months later I got sicker than I've ever been. It was a week before my school shut down for covid and I thought that's what I had, but turns out that my immune system was just very overwhelmed by constantly fighting with the dog dander and I got a cold or something. My nose was also extra swollen because of the constant allergies. I moved home soon after because all my classes were online and there was no reason for me to live close to campus anymore

[@shadesofjade]

My stepmom (30’s) just found out that she was anaphylactic allergic to the med-cillins. It popped up out of nowhere. Allergies can be extremely dangerous, an are *not* to be ignored. Simply your body is ok today doesn’t mean it won’t say, nah, I’m not going to accept you just ate/drank that thing that you’ve been eating and drinking for years. One of my nurses during a hospital visit for anaphylactic shock, she had been in pools all her life, and she suddenly developed an allergy to chlorine. The body is a weird thing and we are still learning new information about it all the time. And I get the feeling that it’s only going to get worse.

[@shadesofjade]

Also!! If you have any type of hormonal imbalances (thyroid or pituitary issues or shit like PCOS and *especially* puberty) be very attentive to your body/monitor your family/kids because this demographic is much more likely to develop insta-anaphylaxis. I was diagnosed with my first anaphylactic allergy at nearly 18. I hadn’t realized before then that you could develop those, *that* late in life. Practically an adult. I was very wrong. Also my stepmom and I both have PCOS.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: OP is NTA and needs to see an employment rights lawyer as this appears to be a hostile workplace and health risk issue. OP has been adversely affected healthwise by another employee getting special treatment and the employer refusing to remedy the situation in order to accommodate OP's health requirements under ADA. Perhaps the coworker has an ADA allowance for their support animal, but that doesn't mean that now OP must suffer medically. Plus the employee is now using coercion and bullying to retaliate against OP who is complaining of said health injuries.

[@babybookworm003]

Story 2 op came up with a good solution in the first place that supervisor could have just changed the desks around and op wouldn’t have had to go to hr

[@ohboy-zi1yf]

An english degree is not a worthless degree as long as you know what you're going to do with it 💀 law schools prefer those w English degrees over ppl with pre-law degrees Edit: holy fuck she's going to Oxford.

[@nolav9280]

Oxford. She's going to freaking Oxford. Yeah, I don't think he's changing. If he can dismiss Oxford...idk

[@locusxe1411]

@@jackchop1576 bro what are you even talking about?

[@acatnamedm4529]

I made this same comment on another channel that covered this story and someone replied that an English degree from Oxford is worth the same as an English degree at a community college. Um, no, it's about the connections you make at freaking Oxford.

[@locusxe1411]

@@acatnamedm4529 I agree. Some jobs will literally look at a resume and if they see you have a degree from a well known college they’ll most likely hire you with no hesitation

[@ohboy-zi1yf]

@A cat named M Oxford also allows you to "upgrade" your degree to a masters a few years after graduating. It might be the same education as a community college, sure, but not the same resources, not the same connections, and certainly not the sheer prestige graduating with any degree from Oxford gives you

[@chrisester2910]

I think the OP in story 1 really only had a change of heart because he figured out how prestigious Oxford is and so his daughter attending Oxford will reflect well on him.

[@antoinealez12]

I highly doubt that. His two sons are doctors and his daughter is going there to study English. The only thing that says about OP is that he has money.

[@rickrollrizal]

Honestly what job can you get with an English degree. I don't even think the daughter is into teaching

[@courtney.marlene]

@@rickrollrizal seriously? Perhaps a career in Journalism, Editing or Publishing? She could become a Ghost Writer, Novelist, Play Write, etc.' There will be plenty of options available to her (especially with a degree from Oxford!) that don't involve teaching.

[@RealJacior]

@@courtney.marlene Editing sure. But Journalism is a bad field.

[@rickrollrizal]

@@courtney.marlene and how many jobs are available in those fields? They're saturated already. How often do we see a movie or tv series where there's a chunky fresh faced girl who has dreams of pursuing a writing career? Nearly all female lead movies is about that. So you have a huge influx of the same girls coming in for a writing degree, they end up seeing how hopeless it is to get jobs, then they blame capitalism and tadaah, we have a brand new socialist.

[@peteranon8455]

Story 2. NTA. I'm so completely against ESA that it's becoming plain to me that I must be some sort of societal minority. I love dogs, and gosh darn it, they're awesome. That said, the concept that people can't get on with their day without a pet is about my definition of "can't perform job duties."

[@barbthegreat586]

I adore dogs but I totally agree with you.

[@katphish30]

No one ever needs to bring their dog to work unless it's a real service dog that they need for a disability or they work at a pet related business.

[@amemooress6291]

Story 2 - Holy fuck. Imagine being expected to work while literally being unable to breathe. Eff that supervisor as well

[@mistywolf312]

OMG, i nearly died of shock when he said Oxford in the update, his daughter got into an Oxford English degree course and he thought initially it was useless ! His entire family should have disowned him till he saw sense at the first time he said useless !

[@kaykay8855]

Story 2: NTA. This is the only time I will excuse some pettiness. Op is having an allergic reaction because of her coworker’s dog. Yes, it’s an emotional support dog but it should be possible for them to work in different areas of the office/building so that op can work without watery eyes/snotty nose and coworker can have their support dog.

[@missybuchanan9631]

100% they should be able to move desks. I moved desks twice because two co-workers smelled.

[@guntgunderson2829]

The story about the support dog: this OP’s co worker KNOWS her dog is causing OP a lot of problems, she just doesn’t CARE. Her inability to regulate her own emotions is for her fsr more important then a person who is literally suffering physically because of her silly little dog. I love dogs, but when someone is allergic you don’t go out of your way to introduce the allergen into their environment. OP should have taken this to HR first, and long ago

[@Parasolhyena]

Honestly with ESA's a lot of the times it's recommended to get less allergen producing pets, heck even hairless ones, for this very reason.

[@GDitto]

Markee, an emotional support dog isn’t a disability service animal. They can’t be in public spaces just because the person wants to take their dog to work. Her allergies are more important because she literally can’t work there.

[@HoodieHorizon]

"idk if this english degree is what she wants to do but I'm certain she wants to be a doctor and is just being rebellious"

[@pris1378]

it doesn't matter what kind of degree you do. i studied physics, now i do software engineering. my mum studied art history and worked in marketing.

[@pantherflambee]

damn imagine you're accepted to a school like Oxford in a degree you like and your parents won't support you because it's not a degree THEY like, thankfully OP realized his mistakes and improved but still, it made me so made...

[@mweathers79]

S1: the outcome of this story will only be revealed in time. Yes, the daughter may have a successful career in English studies,…and she may not. No degree from any school is a guarantee for success. It depends on the person and what they do with it. I’m sure there are plenty of people with degrees from Oxford that wait on tables for a living. I know a young lady that has an English degree from Winthrop University. She’s been working 3 jobs and waiting tables since graduating.

[@alecedgeworth2814]

Story 2: NTA emotional support animals don’t have public access rights like a service dog does. OP had the right to have a dog free workplace

[@littlegreycat]

12:37 the dog allergy story needs to go to HR. And get a note from the doctor that they need to not work near animals. If they won’t fix it they might be able to sue.

[@locusxe1411]

There’s no such thing as a useless degree as long as you have a plan and know what you’re going to use your degree for. Bro she literally made it into a globally known college where for the most part you have to make almost all straight As to get into

[@taylorlibby7642]

Don't know if this is true for this case, but Oxford admits a lot of legacy students under looser admission standards.

[@dionysus_adores]

Going to Oxford is the moment many doors open up for you.

[@SappyDuder]

​@@taylorlibby7642 hey fun fact! Even an art degree (which many people say aren't useful) is useful Someone going in for a type of surgery degree who also has an art degree is more likely to be accepted than someone who doesn't because an art degree implies a steady hand and attention to detail Every degree has some use so long as there's not too many people in that field of work.

[@taylorlibby7642]

@@SappyDuder Cool. What exactly does that have to do with my comment that Oxford admits legacy students? Oh, MFA here btw.

[@SappyDuder]

@@taylorlibby7642 I accidentally tapped your name instead of the reply box, lmao Sorry about that

[@ghoullovinbutch]

1: The brothers telling OP he’s being too harsh tells me a LOT about family dynamics here. I’m smelling some good ol’ fashioned Missing Missing Reasons.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story 2 wtf why should you be miserable for this coworkers emotional support dog? This sounds ludicrous, at least they can give you a new desk. I’d go to HR and if they didn’t I’d get a lawyer. If you got to deal with their fake service animal then they can deal with your tissue.

[@UndeadEyes]

Lol. I'm having memories of being in trade school and a girl had her ESA (pretty untrained, roamed the school sometimes, barked, etc). I was going without my service dog (school was only a few hours a day a couple days a week and was simply easier to not bring her because the school/teachers was already aware of my disabilities). One day, people requested I bring her so they could meet her. I go to the woman who runs the school at the time from the building and run it by her. She gets very... Well, very short version, was unsure about me bringing her because she thought I was saying I needed her every day. I had to hold back saying "So, you'll let a girl bring an untrained emotional Support dog but want to go against federal law and not let me bring my trained service dog?" Instead, I just repeat it was for only ONE day, which she was fine with. However, that always bugged me... They were gonna let some girl bring an untrained dog in who roamed and barked (even barked madly through a door at my service dog the day I brought her until we let the two meet), but she's concerned about my Trained Service Dog who I literally keep tied to my waist unless otherwise stated. Yeaaah.

[@madeleinemontuna1185]

I know someone with an English major from a very prestigious school, Boston College. He now works as my technician. I get the dad a bit.

[@SherriLyle80s]

S2: OP needs to get a doctor note to force ger job to move her.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Right? Like neither of them are assholes for being allergic or needing a support dog. Managment is the biggest ah here.

[@RealJacior]

@@magnarcreed3801 I mean... it's actually an AH move on the cowokers side. OP has asthma, which is definitely documented with HR. OP could sue the business into the ground the moment they didn't remove a non-service animal. Nearly killing OP does in fact go against ADA

[@AceFoxx70001519]

In story 2 OP has pretty good grounds to sue not only her coworker but the company, if she's in the US, ESAs aren't legally protected at all to begin with, you can register literally anything as one and there's 0 government oversight, but it is illegal to bring a non-service animal into an area someone allergic is obligated to be in (IE: their job) and ESA's don't count as service animals, they have no training, an emotional support animal is just a fancy way to say "I want to take my pet everywhere by using people's ignorance of the law to abuse service animal exemptions" in the US

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Will confirm that asthma can kill. It almost happened to 2 of my kids. When my son was 7 he had a serious attack and I took him to the hospital. He needed 6 Ventolin treatments before he was breathing ok and was in the hospital for a week. The specialist assigned to his case was so upset by my son's brush with death that he personally phoned my then husband to chew him out for smoking in the house (apparently sitting by a window with a fan blowing toward the window is actually worse than not doing that because the screen acts like a solid object so the smoke still doesn't leave and the fan spreads the smoke further and faster) and for accusing my son of faking it. Then my daughter had an attack at 21 and it became pneumonia before she went to the hospital. Her life hung in the balance for a week or so. It wasn't until she turned the corner that her doctor told us that they didn't think she was going to make it.

[@candiebarr6745]

I wonder if OP could sue the coworker and supervisor for like, attempted murder or something. Like, if you purposely fed someone an allergy it could lead to hefty legal consequences, right? So wouldn't forcing a dog on someone that can die from being near the dog be like, the same thing?

[@mrbadguysan]

Story 1 1) doesn't know how undergrads work. 2) conforming to a lot of racial stereotypes.

[@browniewin4121]

1) Not everyone is fit for the same career path, to try and force someone into the same roll is awful. Being so dismissive of something just because it is not the same path as one's own is very ignorant. The brothers got Uni paid for, daughter should get her education covered. YTA. After update: Glad OP got a wake up call and realized he needed an attitude adjustment and change of behaviour. 2) An emotional support animals is not entitled to the same protection as Assistance Dogs. For someone's physical health to be impacted and work to not accommodate that is wrong, but how OP is handling this is wrong. ESH. After update: Definitely when OP was not assisted by her manager refusing any of her suggestions that would have protected her health, she should have gone to HR. After 2nd update: I'm glad the shit hit the fan and bad supervisor and the other stupid people there got reamed out (but I think they should have been fired), and that OP's medical needs are now being accommodating. I'm glad to hear that HR and the Union did what they should, and OP can now work without being made ill.

[@roverdover4449]

Even after the entire student loan debt crisis, people still insist that all degrees are worthwhile? No, sorry, there are worthwhile degrees and there are wasted money degrees.

[@taylorlibby7642]

1st Story - He should pay for his daughters English degree. Maybe then she can help him understand the proper usage of "paid" vs "payed". But seriously - It comes across that he's more upset that she didn't choose to follow in the family business than anything else. But if the daughter actually does want to achieve an English degree from Oxford (probably the best place in the world to get one) then she should just go ahead and do it without parental support. Maybe after she has a term or two of success he'll change his tune.

[@Morpheusdarkson]

Grammar doesn’t matter in real life. When you are jobless then your English degree won’t matter. A Med degree means you won’t be poor but a English degree makes sure she is gonna be jobless, becoming a stay at home mom leeching off her husband or staying with parents.

[@taylorlibby7642]

@@Morpheusdarkson Not true at all, but thanks for strawmanning the argument like that. Very convincing.. No degree is an absolute guarantee of any outcome. An English degree from Oxford can open doors just as easily as a medical degree can become a trap, especially if you're in the UK working for the NHS.

[@antoinealez12]

Grammar doesn't matter as much given all of the tools at our disposal. Even as i am typing this there is software correcting my spelling and grammar mistakes. There's no point in getting over 60k for an English degree from Oxford

[@kath-a-lean2909]

@@Morpheusdarkson Hi. Person with three almost four English Degrees. It's not a useless degree. It's one of the most lucrative degrees out there. Not only can you get jobs across a plethora of different fields because they have the skillset to do that. A degree from Oxford will put her in the top 1% of her field and could very well help her out-earn the rest of her family.

[@Morpheusdarkson]

@@kath-a-lean2909 nah she’s gonna be a burden like she’s always.

[@thatcherrycat1198]

This is why I like my emotional support animal because I do have a doctors note for it but I can’t have a dog so I have bearded dragon train to just sit on me which helps ground me when I have anxiety attacks. She’s also rarely noticed and can just stay in my shirt or my jacket

[@dianedupree-dempsey2402]

She got into OXFORD and he had a problem?!?!!?!??

[@bricksloth6920]

Story 1: why do you dislike your daughter so much?

[@lunahix4815]

He literally wrote it down. She isn't doing a career that he thinks is "respectful". She isn't acting like a puppet for him, so he doesn't like it.

[@RealJacior]

@@lunahix4815 "I will pay for you to go traveling around wherever you like, no issues at all, as long as you pursue a degree that will earn you a high salary." I don't get why people are so entitled to their parents money when they agree to things and then whine when they try to back out of it.

[@kixi8033]

S2 is why I don't like a lot of dog owners. They think their dogs need to go everywhere they do and have absolutely no consideration for anyone else. OP was doing everything in her power to literally stay alive and the coworker called her a dick. Like, wtf.

[@LittleImpaler]

Story 1. Why does her parents want her to be doctor? Why can't she just be her own person. If the parents don't want to pay they don't have too. Such as life.

[@zachf748]

*_Story #2 :_* This whole “emotional support animal” trend is getting ridiculous. Emotional support animals are not service dogs, and do not have any of the rights that service dogs have. And there’s a reason, because an “emotional support animal” isn’t really even a thing. There’s no qualification or anything. And everyone is just calling their animal an emotional support animal, hoping other people confuse it with a service dog and don’t question them about it. My dog is an emotional support animal, so you know what it entailed to get to become an emotional support animal? One visit to my doctor, where the conversation went like this : Me : *_Hey, I’m moving apartments and my new apartment doesn’t allow certain dogs unless they are service dogs or emotional support dogs. Could you write a letter saying my dog is my emotional support dog, so I can take her with me when I move in?_* Doctor : *_Sure._* That’s it. Literally. But these people taking their “emotional support animals” with them essentially every time they leave the house, including taking them to places where they absolutely should not be, is getting ridiculous.

[@sarahraisingmyvoice]

Ok…but besides the wastebasket, where else would you put soiled tissues? That’s just…where they go.

[@LittleImpaler]

Story 2. I live in America. Emotional Support Dogs aren't seen as Service Dog because they don't aid in person's disability. You can't take them in store, resturant, and etc. If they aren't willing to work with her. She needs to find a new job.

[@mikehilbert9349]

Story 2: Markey, you are wrong about the ESH, these people dragging their pets to work and calling them emotional support is a liad of BS. OMG, what the frick? Your pet stays home and your coworker keeps from dying of asthma.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

😂😂😂😂 Way for OP to bury the lead. An ENGLISH degree…from OXFORD?!? I think she’s going to be okay.

[@AIBot929]

I have an English Degree, I'm doing pretty good with it, many people think it's useless but it's actually quite useful with many lines of business, because not many can write well apparently. Also it's Oxford gtfoh

[@samiulhuda4001]

you can learn to do that without a degree though. thats the point

[@Nevertoleave]

@@samiulhuda4001 that’s not an counter-argument. Which you would know if you had applied the knowledge you were supposed to learn in your English/Language Arts classes growing up.

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@Nevertoleave it is a counter argument. you don't need a four year degree to learn that

[@sfsin3380]

@@samiulhuda4001 but you do need the 3 year an English degree actually takes in England and the piece of paper they give you at the end for employers to actually consider hiring you for those skills.

[@nahbruh2613]

She can take out loans for a degree that will get her nowhere.

[@bloodyjuicebox2178]

Tbh when I saw “ useless degree” I thought it was a Art, music, or any creative one but NOPE it was a English degree from Oxford! You know how good their English classes are!? Like once she graduates she GOOD shes going to be ok!

[@SherriLyle80s]

I have severe allergies and asthma. I am on year 5 of my allergy shots if that says anything 😂 I'm even allergic to cockroaches😊

[@amemooress6291]

Story 1 - I don't know if OP is a good parent overall or not, but I just wanna say that I wouldn't want to pay for an English degree (or others) unless my kid had a plan for how they were gonna use it. Edit; what the fuck. Oxford? Just pay for any degree. That will set her up for life!

[@axepagode33626]

You can bring a dog into an environment where someone is allergic to the animal and then give them shit about having a severe reaction to the dog. Move the damn dog or let OP move.

[@littlegreycat]

And how many bad doctors have some of us been to because they only went into it for the money? 9:00

[@kathrynesq8814]

Allergic person is NOT the asshole. The business needs to make a reasonable accommodation.

[@Aromatherapist_tris]

Story 2: naw the tissue thing is a non-issue. They’re in the bin regardless so either way the maintenance person is emptying it. I don’t think OP is an AH here, they have literally tried everything even requesting to move. They have not confronted coworker, asked the dog to be removed, made a huge fuss about the dog or has even complained about said dog beyond a reasonable irritation with the allergy. Emotional support animals are not service dogs, they do not hold any kind of valid certification and are not required to be present and CAN be told to go home. The coworker confronting OP and making a fuss about their allergies and the workplace are both the AH here for ignoring a real health issue and then getting mad despite OP actively working to solve the issue. I say bill the place of work for tissues, new medication and excessive use of the inhaler.

[@boneymeroney2674]

Is your employer forcing you to work in conditions that they know are making you sick?

[@vampire9545]

NTA in story 1 - if she wants a rather useless degree, she can go to a cheaper university. 😊 Also everyone pointing out ops grammar are losers.

[@ShanaMoe]

Story1: Is this the same dude who had no idea Oxford was the best school in the world...He probably reposted with a different reason to see if they'd agree more with him

[@anthonyburke5656]

I’m an Australian, I visit the US reasonably often. Over the years I’ve met lots of kids doing or recently completed college. I’m constantly surprised by the size of the debts kids incur for college degrees that are totally useless for employment. I really think many colleges are committing fraud “selling” degrees to kids. Two girls in particular that I know graduated over 10 years ago, neither have worked a day in their degree area, one of whom is still paying the debts from college, the other worked two jobs for 7 years in menial service jobs and paid the debt but now is burnt out, in bad health and unemployed.

[@Nevertoleave]

Not really. The US undervalues every job except wealthy billionaire. A lot of morons look down on classes and degrees within the anthropology spectrum but they’re needed. Social workers are needed to help people. But the US refuses to give enough funding for those government programs. So even though they are people with degrees, even though there is a desperate need for more workers, they don’t get the funding for it and then the government complains about people not getting the help they need and the issues that causes. You don’t even think about how people in Australia have those same or equivalent degrees but aren’t being shanked by the system beyond their control

[@stephkais5613]

Story 2: nta. I love dogs but I swear Millenials have a problem with putting dogs before people. Even when if a person's health is horribly impacted by a dog, some millenials lose the ability to think logically (and lose compassion for humans) because cute pup is cute.

[@RealJacior]

Not a Millenial thing, Boomer.

[@saralee6710]

The dog thing is simple. Reasonable accommodations work both ways. The same law that permits the dog, is the same one that requires an alternative working location for the person with an allergy. Get a sick note, that specifies the allergy, and remedy. Present it to HR, and if they fail to accommodation when it is reasonable (i.e. changing seats) it is illegal and due compensation for real negative impacts. The tissue thing does nothing but create an unnecessary exchange, as no company wants to be reported for failing to accommodate a limitation, especially for something that is permitted by them and not a reasonable expectation of the work environment (like an animal in the next cubicle). However, if petty is your game, get an emotional support rooster, and dig your feet in.

[@kyleanuar9090]

My friend was an English professor, he dumbed down grammar as he said as long as the listener or reader understand you then that's enough. I never bothered to correct mine afterwards.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Allergic op should go after the company to force them to separate the workers so noone suffers.

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

By op saying GP rather than Dr, it sounds like op is in the uk. As a disabled woman who worked and lives in the uk, emotional support animals are not officially recognised and are not "protected legally" by disabilities laws in the uk. Its completely different to service animals. I had an "emotional support" dog, my old girl, and I could not get her officially recognised in the uk because it's such a grey area. Despite having autism, ptsd and severe anxiety there are so many hoops to jump through its ridiculous. I highly doubt the coworkers dog is even an official ESA tbh given my own experience with uk laws and ESA's. It was a long time ago now, she passed about 6/8 years ago, so I hope things have changed but I highly doubt it. Also, certain breeds can not be service dogs or ESA's in the uk either. I had a malamute who was a "potential" but not as a service dog and my staffy who I had taught to be my "service" dog in the Hope's of having her recognised was outright refused due to breed alone. She passed all the tests too 🙄 the coworker and the supervisor seriously need retraining in this situation, they couldve killed op.

[@terrencezellers9105]

Yes. As a programmer, now "senior software engineer" approaching retirement, I'd point out that many of my colleagues, including some of the best, have had "useless" degrees. English, History, Philosophy, and three of them somewhat shockingly, in various music degrees. More pointedly it's a "good degree" in that it is in fact a lot of work ... a lot of writing in most classes where things like history or philosophy might only require one or two papers per semester. IOW if she follows through, she will learn discipline and real writing skill. But remember that many, many people switch degrees in their first few years at Uni.....

[@katwitanruna]

In the US, an emotional support animal has NO rights other than to travel with said animal. Only service dogs who have at least one specific task they perform for the disabled person.

[@poohbear4515]

Major YTA. When one child is wanting to do something they like, their treated badly all because they don’t wanna do what mommy and daddy want them to do. I’m seeing a future when Jane dumps those two worthless people on the side while she lives a happy life away from them while they’re begging to be let back in.

[@antoinealez12]

I doubt it. She needs their money. He was the one that funded her little vacation before school and he is going to be the one funding her education as well. He will also have to house her after she graduates because there's not much you can do with an English degree coming right out of college. At least she's coming out with no debt.

[@samiulhuda4001]

i see her getting a crazy amount of debt she works to repay for the next 30 years

[@Nevertoleave]

@@samiulhuda4001 she’s from England… how did you miss that the student loans system is different in different countries?

[@Entrantress]

story 2 the work place is the AH but also so is the coworker. it’s an ESA not a PSD

[@TheDarwinProject1]

On the last story, theres absolutely not enough info to assume the coworker doesn't need the ESA & may in fact be well trained enough to not be a distraction. ESAs are medical equipment, but many companies don't allow them as an accommodation. OP should have involved HR & the union as soon as it was clear the supervisor wasn't willing to work out an accommodation. This is literally what HR & unions are paid to handle. I'm glad they eventually figured it out, but it was getting really toxic & OP could have been fired for bullying their coworker over a disability. They probably wouldnt have a case since they didn't go to HR/union either, but maybe they could have gotten the supervisor fired at best. Its not the company's fault OP was a "dumbass" that initially didn't use the tools provided for these situations (though the supervisor should have told OP to go see them).

[@RealJacior]

ESA isn't actually service animal and has no rights to be in the office, OP having asthma and allergies does actually mean the dog needs to gtfo, because the only purpose they serve is... being there. OP wasn't a "dumbass" for trying to do things the nice way. You're just really toxic. Also they would never fire OP for this the lawsuit would be staggering. Did you actually listen to the whole story? The supervisor was telling OP to screw off because the Supervisor and the coworker were friends. Supervisor didn't even get approval to let the dog into the office.

[@ikeohno9767]

Say it with me. ESAs do not have public access rights. Unless it is a pet friendly place, ESAs cannot enter or they are breaking the law, per the ADA. Sincerely, a service dog handler

[@missybuchanan9631]

I have two English degrees. I do have two other majors, but that English degree got me a job in legislative publishing for 12 years. It’s gotten most of my jobs. I love all my majors, and yes I am the grammar police, but what a see you next Tuesday. Hey doc, that’s an acrostic…

[@RedFreaderd]

Allergies- HAHAHAHA how DARE you make the cleaners take your tissues from HER trashcans rather than YOUR trashcans I'm crying thats freaking hilarious. Not the asshole, OP litterally tried to deal with the issue to get away from what was making them sick. And the coworker had the audacity to loudly complain about OP attention seeking when she needs to bring a whole ass animal to cope with being away from home. Give me a break.

[@marywray6046]

If all education is relavent, then whats wrong with a trade school certificate instead of 4 year degree, i know one fact, trade school students are getting jobs and making good money immediately bc this world will always need people to fix things, in the 80s, everyone thought being a lawyer was the highest title, so all these people went to law school , somewhere in the 90 till acouple years ago, only a small group of those lawyers nationwide had ever praticed their chosen proffession

[@mbyerly9680]

Since emotional support dogs aren't certified, are there accommodation laws to allow them at work? That sounds unlikely. So why is the coworker allowed this dog to the detriment of someone with real medical issues?

[@RealJacior]

Coworker is friends with the supervisor, please watch the whole video before you comment.

[@CellarSinger]

Where the OP is not paying for the degree, might have a useful degree is one that will let you live off what you can earn and pay for the student loans at the same time

[@Cjaj2]

Story 2 was an easy NTA the coworker is a entitled asshole who was putting her needs to have an animal in her workplace over someone's health.

[@Gerilyn2003]

An English degree is better than Gender Studies at least...

[@fletcher0411]

ESAs are not permitted.

[@curledhorncat]

I mean if the dog is an ESA, it doesn't HAVE to be in the office, as it's not a service/working animal. The people in the story suck, but regardless, Esa aren't legally working. Anyone can get a piece of paper for an ESA without training. I'm deathly allergic to dogs, and it's REALLY bad that OP had to have allergies/asthma, without any real punishment to manager or coworker. But op could have thought for a bit longer before doing to childish tissue thing.

[@RealJacior]

I'm sorry, no? Asthma is an ADA thing. I guess it's a tiny bit petty to clog up her coworkers trashcan, but it's not comparable to what OP is being put through.

[@curledhorncat]

@RealJacior Op should have gone to HR first, regardless. I know about Ada, OP would have been protected for wrongful termation regardless if the disability wasn't labeled as one atm ex. If OP was being tested for more etc.. The coworker should have gotten the dog privileges removed completely as well. Because cleaning allergens isn't simple, due to the proteins. Shampooing carpet can make it worse, too, if they have any near op or the office.

[@GreenKnight1982]

I'd say the dad until the daughter to go ahead and get the English degree and he should pay for it but once she has it she has to support herself and he's not going to supplement her income when she can't find well-paying work

[@Bala_Niranna]

Nta for story 2 none of these commenters have dealt with crippling allergies. Not being able to breathe without leaking fluid is hell. She's lucky he just put his tissues in her bin, between medication haze and rage i would've dumped my tissues all over her DESK, if not picked a fight entirely. Knowingly waving an allergen under someone's nose is cruel

[@ShanaMoe]

Lmao wtf is wrong with the commenters in story 2? Stop using the pand%emic as an excuse for everything. The dog colleague is literally causing OP's allergy... I love dogs and I'd love an office pet, but if I know my coworker is allergic and would have a hard time, I wouldn't bring my dog. Emotional support?! As a person with terrible anxiety and MDD...emotional support animals are great, but are not vital. Especially after her reaction to OP, I'd say her situation probably doesn't even warant an emotional support animal as much as a heavier case. I know a lot of people classify their pets as emotional support bc they want to bring them everywhere, but people with mental illnesses are usually way more empathetic than this coworker. The coworker is a gigantic asshole, but the management are the biggest asses in the story. There are so many solutions. Move spaces, WFH... That's like having a peanut allergy and your coworker eating peanut butter sandwiches on your desk and when you ask them to not do that, because you can die, they're like "OMG, stop making this about you, I love peanuts! You can just put an EpiPen in your drawer, no big deal!" . And the stupid commenters whining about the tissues because of co4id...what is she supposed to do with them? Get an incinerator for her cubicle and burn the remains at 5PM? Please be for real...

[@toomanyhungrycats0554]

College is overrated if someone wants a big expensive career yes you must get a degree but for me I barely got through highschool and Im happy getting paid $15.75 cleaning bird cages every morning and barely deal with people I'm on disability and get food stamps. I could never function as a lawyer or doctor. Fast food is too high stress for me. I'd rather listen to birds screaming all day over entitled fat asses wanting a cheeseburger. Even if I get paid twice as much. You'd have to pay me 40 an hour to deal with humans all day

[@marywray6046]

No its not unacceptable to want her to have a career after college, especially if you paid, anyway it seems she used your money to play, that could've gone to her education, should have gone to her education not parying for a year

[@SMey54]

Re: dog allergy. Get a doctor’s note regarding allergies and meds and go to HR.

[@RealJacior]

OP has asthma which is already documented by HR. She doesn't have to go get a note to have the ESA sent home.

[@fox0yeah410]

I love everyone calling op from story 1 TAH, remember the part OP said boyfriends not boyfriend ( how meny bfs in a year for god sake) picked living off daddy money over getting a job or going to school. Yes he sounds like a axxhole but really hes not she is for living off him and now having a fit over gaslighting him till he pays out about £600,000 plus. How about you pay for yourselves people after all 18 your a grow axx adults stop begging for hand outs, it a choice to found ones kids not a blood law.