My Family Are Guilting Me To Cancel My Trip TO Care For My Niece r/Relationships

[@nikkideede7972]

Story 2: as soon as op was accused of being in a relationship with the PhD, she should've turned it around on them. Asking if they were together because they're always with each other

[@recycledapathy7411]

See, in OP's shoes I would have "joked" back at them, "Nah, it's not that I'm pretty, it's that you suck." and "Look dude, I don't talk about your lack of social skills, so butt out of my social life." But I actually *am* an asshole, and have a low tolerance for whiners who won't take accountability for themselves, so. :P

[@ellorasg4525]

@@recycledapathy7411 same. Most bullies shut up when they realize you don't take their bs and can fight back. The only ones who don't are the sociopaths.

[@MeekoButterbean]

How entitled do you have to be to expect your sibling to put their life on hold because you want a free babysitter. It’s astounding to me how anyone can thing OP is the a-hole for wanting to live her life, insane how her family are trying to guilt trip her into putting her life on hold for her sister’s kid. You are not responsible for other people’s children and therefor do not have to stop living your own life to serve their needs.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

She's 27 and her family are still trying to run her life. NTA.

[@iSmileyPerson]

Story 3: I guess what I don’t understand is how it’s OP’s problem that someone congratulated her about her job and asked questions? Like was she supposed to ignore it?

[@empressathanasiadealgerobe3661]

Situational awareness. It seems OP was aware that cousin got a job somewhere else and cousin was jealous of her already . If you were in a situation where you getting constantly praised for something, that someone else also did and even worse, mention the opportunity you rejected for the promotion everyone is praising you for, which is the same opportunity the other person got. Definitely YTA. It would seem like OP is just trying to rub it in cousin’s face, in the cousin’s POV at least. Now, this is under the assumption that OP knew cousin got a new job. If she did, Definitely YTA. If not, Then NTA.

[@LoryLilyBomber]

Respond and then find a graceful way to include her accomplishments instead of hogging the spotlight. It’s generally considered classy to segue the conversation to someone else’s accomplishments after acknowledging your own. Ex: “Thank you so much! *answer a question or two* You know, it’s awesome, actually, *so and so* got a promotion too, at nearly the exact same time! Seriously!!! Hey, *so and so*, tell them about it!”

[@empressathanasiadealgerobe3661]

@@LoryLilyBomber Exactly. If OP had just done this, instead of soaking up all of the praises. She would’ve been voted NTA.

[@fangchick93]

​@@LoryLilyBomber except the party was to celebrate ops promotion, she shouldn't have to share the spotlight

[@empressathanasiadealgerobe3661]

@@fangchick93 Nope. It wasn’t. The post said “We had a potluck over the weekend and a lot of them heard about my promotion.” It was just a regular family get-together, not a celebration party. If it was OP promotion party, then she wouldn’t be voted YTA or ESH.

[@Mapache095]

Story 2: THEY CONFRONTED HER???? They SO know what they’re doing! The freaking audacity!

[@khaleesireyna731]

I would've doubled down and reported them confronting me as retaliatory action. These little boys are making these "jokes" and getting butthurt for getting called put because 1) they expected by default to do better than OP because she's THE GIRL and 2) nothing is ever their responsibility. Someone else out does them in class? Well, it must be because she's pretty (lbr, if it was a poc who did better than them, I'd bet money they'd make "jokes" about affirmative action). They get called out for their behavior and are being treated coldly for it? Well, OP shouldn't have complained! Nothing is ever their fault. They need to learn. Let potentially losing their scholarships teach them a lesson.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Also, let me just say that those dudes strike me as the type who unironically claim that being a white cisgendered heterosexual man is being the "most oppressed". 🙄🙄

[@Azulakayes]

Story 2: As a woman who works in a male dominated industry I can attest to boy-clubs at work and the snide comments and harassment we face. When I got promoted courtesy of finishing my 2nd masters and my performance, there were a lot of 'jokes' about how I got it. I am freakin married and I studied part-time and got pregnant with my last in the 2nd year of classes and the team I lead is always first in performance.. I was so angry and this is why such stories piss me off. I didn't complain to HR because I know how they are but I have iced them out and I told my boss I never want those 'boys' in my team.

[@MrsWheezer]

Good for you! I’m female in a male-dominated industry. The crap I have and still put up with. 😡 I’m old enough now and have enough experience, I’m finally free of the stupid innuendos. I want better for my daughters.

[@sonialinsey8083]

I’m female in female dominated industry and I wish my coworkers had the excuse of being male or something but instead they are women treating other women like crap. Girl power amirite?

[@frozenyogurth]

​@@sonialinsey8083 Misogynie is sadly not exclusive to men (even better it would be exclusive to no one and there wasn't Misogynie but alas, not a perfect world) :/

[@dcg590]

Well, the fact that you get paid the same as a man and work way less is why you get the comments.

[@MrsWheezer]

@@dcg590 ohhh, so my work ethic is why so many of my male colleagues told me I needed to smile more. Now I get it! /s

[@TheArnaa]

Story 1: just opened a comment to say OP’s family are only pretending to care about OP’s safety and finances because sister is upset about losing her free babysitter and the others don’t want to pick up the slack when she’s gone. And there it was, sister losing her temper because she no longer has a free babysitter every weekend. Well, sister you have parents and other siblings who can pitch in for a change instead of calling OP a bad aunt for not centering her life around a free babysitter.

[@gwdzee]

Oh, I think it might be more than that. OP has been laid off, so they all think she should be doing even more free babysitting. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they have their eyes on her savings, too. I'm wondering if op's sister is the golden child or became the golden child because she has a kid. edit to add: yep, mother plays favorites, I didn't guess her being controlling over op. (Now I have that Pink Floyd "mother" song in my head lol.) I'm still not sure about the sister...she seems way too comfortable calling op an asshole in front of the whole family. Being the favorite went to her head, maybe? I'd put them all on an info diet.

[@Songbirdstress]

@@gwdzee The come to Jesus I'm sorry moment was way too pat. Are we sure she's just covering her bases to get the free babysitting when OP comes back?

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

​@@Songbirdstress Hopefully OP decides to move to one of the country's she visits. That would put a stop to it.

[@dionysus_adores]

Op isn't the favorite unfortunately, family doesn't mean free baby-sitter. They should've been paying op from the start. I would put everything in a storage unit that they don't have access to make sure the owner of the company knows only you can enter. It might put a dent in op savings, but at least they know their stuff would be safe.

[@janda1258]

Second story: ”if the truth makes you look like a bad person, then you are a bad person”, and as I always like to say ”just because it’s a joke, doesn’t mean it’s ok”

[@justine8387]

A joke is where people laugh not where you laugh as you destroyed my soul.

[@libertyblake873]

Story 2: OP should have reported the harassment squad for cornering her after class in a threatening way. If they are acting like this at uni, they will be a real nightmare once they become employed. It is better they learn evil actions do result in consequences now before somebody decides to take them to court.

[@yamairad1]

Story 2. They were trying to hurt her career and would have celebrated if the staff chose to believe them. Also, maybe the world is a better place if THEY are kicked out. Imagine how much worse they would get if they don't have consequences.

[@Songbirdstress]

Yes, what they were doing is close to sexual harassment.

[@Rowancat11]

Story 1. If they're so concerned about her financial situation, why aren't they paying her to babysit?

[@juliemcgugan1244]

My niece is two. I only usually see her once per year, as my sister lives in another country. Plane tickets are expensive and we can't afford more than this. My niece has no problem remembering who I am. Everybody misses milestones, including the parents. They are spouting nonsense, OP. Don't let them guilt you!

[@juliemcgugan1244]

And as a child, right around this age, my Dad travelled on business two weeks out of four. It wasn't ideal, but I paid well and meant that my sister and I could go to a good school and later could get orthodontic treatment which we couldn't have afforded, otherwise It was not covered by medical insurance.) There may have been a little shyness, but it didn't last for long. And my Dad got a promotion after that, which kept him in the country most of the time. He'd only then travel maybe two weeks out of 6 months.

[@stillvisibletoallusers]

I have a sister in a different country. I haven't seen my neice (4) and nephew (6) in person for almost 2 years 😢, but they know me, we talk at least twice a week. They know my voice and are disappointed if it's my other sisters calling (great for my aunty ego lol). Missing milestones sucks. But you don't have to be there for milestones for them to remember you.

[@losslogic]

I was gone for 5 months for college before coming home for a break, and my 2yr baby brother remembers me just fine. He could even pronounce my name better!

[@recycledapathy7411]

Plus, isn't "going on an extended trip alone" a big milestone too? OP said this is the first time she's doing it, so it's a big milestone for her, and her family wants her to miss her OWN milestone. The niece is two, so has already had her first words, first steps, first tooth, etc. The next big milestone is potty training, which isn't so much a milestone as a long, drawn out process that will take a lot longer than OP's trip. And OP shouldn't be the one responsible for that one anyway.

[@madarawijerathne276]

My father went to check exam papers when I was 2 for a month and half. Apparently I didn't recognise him at first but soon remembered. Honestly I don't remember any of it. Op is just a aunt she has no reason to be exclusive babysitter

[@madambutterfly1997]

I’m in the party of believing if your trip was prematurely planned out, like tickets and all, THEN GO!!

[@robertx8020]

I partly disagree Even if it was planned a few days ahead...she should still go . Their kids, their responsabilities!

[@cutietae247]

Right it takes a lot of money and lining things up for a trip. You never know what could happen or travel bans could come about, and then you don’t get to go for who knows how long.

[@nicksuazo4377]

I'm more concerned in why the OP has to CONVINCED THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY that she'll be find going on vacation and why they felt like they had a say.

[@Swnsasy]

So you're not supposed to live your life because your sis and bro have a child? Why can't anyone else babysit or hire a babysitter? The audacity of these people just boggles my mind. 2yrs old is not an age where the neice will forget her, smh...

[@fangchick93]

In the last story, I vote NTA. There's a time an place for anything, but in a party specifically to celebrate ops promotion, the cousin was out of line to through her hissy fit. I'm very much against nepotism, but we still don't know if it's actually at play. And everyone has their breaking point, it sounds like the cousin has been going on about this for quite a while, and I think OP hit her breaking point

[@purplecrayonismine2585]

Yeah, being on the company longer never guarantees anything, if anything sometimes it's the new people with new ideas the ones they want to promote, and with that kind of attitude I have my doubts the cousin's actually that good at her job

[@fangchick93]

@@purplecrayonismine2585 her attitude makes me question it. It's almost like she wants op to turn down the promotion or quit or something. Generally people with that kind of attitude aren't too good at working hard at tasks

[@itme154]

Good to know you can't read. The party was a random potluck and it just got brought up! How about you re-watch the video where OP literally says it was just a fucking potluck? Oh wait it's because you don't think nepotism exists and you want to degrade the cousin.

[@lina9535]

Sorry for the late reply 😅 I agree. Also, it's funny to me how many people will jump at calling things nepo, even when that might not be the case. Say for example that the bf's dad really dislikes OP, but her hard work has is recognized and she's actually earned the promotion (might even not have been suggestest by bf's dad), is that still nepotism? Not in my eyes. It's pretty simple, just because something could be nepo, doesn't make it nepo. That's just the easiest thing to blame it on.

[@naediggs4816]

As a woman pursuing a degree in STEM I feel story 2 so much. I have definitely been talked down to, iced out and otherwise undermined. My male professors are kind to me, but also give me the business in class to make it look like I don't have any special treatment. It's tough sometimes, but I'll make it through 😭😭

[@tinycrimester]

well, having that extra pressure and attention from your profs means you'll be much better qualified in the end.

[@shells500tutubo]

So you do have special treatment then? Why would they have to treat you any differently in class? I thought I was fortunate that my professors didn't treat me any differently than the guys. They were no kinder or meaner overall, and this was fifty years ago.

[@Songbirdstress]

Yeah, but you will be kick ass good :)

[@elleembee6335]

​@@shells500tutubo they don't want there to be any assumption of special treatment by male classmates that will use any act of kindness to undermine her. These men are insidious and do everything they can to make women leave the fields they want to be in so they don't have the competition. They'll do the minimum then get mad at women who went above and beyond. They could (and many do about women in the same field) also spread rumors about her that could harm her in school and in her career later if the teacher isn't careful. Men can be horrendous to women when they don't want them in "their" field. Then they bitch about how there's no women that want to, or are capable enough, to do that work. It's wild. It's nice that it wasn't that bad when you were in school.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@elleembee6335 I actually ran into this more doing *history* at the graduate level than when I was in STEM.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: First of all, These guys shouldn't be throwing out accusations without proof. Second trying to play off this as just "jokes" Is kind of pathetic. Frankly I'd love to have them explain the punch line. And lastly, if the "joke" is bad enough for you to lose your financial aid, then you needed to work much harder on your material writing or your delivery. That's called bombing on stage.

[@paulman34340]

OP did them a favor! If they passed and moved forward with this mindset of theirs. They're a Sexism Harassment report waiting to happen and ruining their future careers because they "thought it was a Joke". (Sometimes assholes do MORE then play that card, they tell THEMELVES it's a joke for the sake of not wanting to see themselves as the bad guy and can't understand why their "victim" can't "take a joke") I'd have assumed they'd be smart to STAY AWAY from OP even if they figured it out if their on the hook of losing their Financial Aid (figuring out who told is one thing! CONFRONTING the person in question that can be seen as intimidation or retalation is like they WANT to lose that FA and suffer WORSE! A smarter man would just distance himself and keep silence. Plus shame on the Professor. Nice job keeping control by letting the assholes talk because you fear losing respect. Hope the write up and scolding was worth it. NEXT TIME DO YOUR FUCKING JOB! Man or Woman, if troublemakers are being an issue, you deal with them)

[@demonic_myst4503]

Russel you realise the odia of all jpkes needinh a punchline is some bs made by Melenials and has no basis in definition or fact The term joke is defined as an intent not an structure Punchlines are not even predent in a manority of jokes

[@sonialinsey8083]

@Demonic_myst Melenials lol. One more time in English or any other coherent language.

[@atinyevil1383]

It also shows how utterly unprofessional he is by doing a mean-spirited (and totally biased) "study". If I were one of the professors in the department, I wouldn't want him there, either, because that would tell me his work is swayed by his feelings, which STEM is very objective.

[@demonic_myst4503]

@@atinyevil1383 to be fair alot of stem fields do get corupted by bias alot now days its not een objective atleast science hasnt for years as conformity is apart of modern academic community but yes well he didnt do the research himself he made a report on a study that make the conclusion that these woman got higher scores due to gender, issue here is meta analysis of these kind things lacks variable controls you cant prove causation because u cant rule out other causality so for all we know methodology could been total garbage

[@kamicokrolock]

I don't have to even finish story 1: NTA your nearly 30. Go on your trip and stop babysitting WEEKLY for your sister for free. She and your BIL both work and from home to boot, they can either pay you, or find another child care solution. Live your life sounds like sister is a golden child in this family.

[@Songbirdstress]

A good thing to do in these situations is calculate how much you would be paid. It can be a real eye opener. You can still do the favour, but it concentrates the mind of the asker.

[@owl7072]

Story 3: "You can say you're a hard worker all you want but we, the people who have never actually seen you work, know the truth!" Honey, how do you know the dad, who isn't even the sole owner, even knows she exists to begin with? She's the girlfriend, not a wife, and even then, a lot of wives don't get that kind of treatment. She's gotten job offers from other places, I think that alone shows that she's pretty good worker if other places unrelated to her current company want her to work for them. Even if it's nepotism, Op is straight up being blamed for shit _other people_ did 😭

[@sgm8265]

Yes. People assuming OP didn't earn her promotion. And people aren't hired through recommendations all of the time. If there was it could have been her immediate supervisor. Cousin got a good job, why can't she be happy for herself? Cousin is the one with issues.

[@lina9535]

I agree. The dad could even loathe OP. He might not even have been the one to suggest the promotion. Just because it could be nepo, doesn't mean that it is.

[@onurkneezb]

story 3: You'd be surprised what people expect from family hookup jobs... my own tldr would be had a cousin that gave his wife's family a bunch of jobs, and they were expecting a paycheck for no work... that didn't end well for them...

[@elleembee6335]

If she's getting promoted, it's because she's actually working. Nepo jobs are busy work. When they won't even do that, they don't get to have jobs

[@Phenomenal5266]

Story 3 -NTA The cousin is a jealous crow. Life is not fair and she needs to get over it

[@skyelinkhyrule5715]

Story One: NTA. Not your kid, not your problem. Enjoy your vacation!

[@AngelaVEdwards]

*Story 3: how is it that everyone seems to know this is "nepo prvilege" but they don't even know if BF's father knows **_anything at all_** about her or any of the other employees. Just because he's a co owner of the company doesn't mean he is part of the decisions for promotions or any of that. We don't know what his role is, so stop assuming.*

[@bbjjbb61]

It's Reddit lol. The place where everyone can read minds, know people's motives (without context), and create entire backstories based on one to two paragraphs.

[@zerobolt9506]

​@@bbjjbb61 I hate when they do that 😮‍💨

[@purplecrayonismine2585]

I know, they act like just being the girlfriend entitles her to anything, heck, not even wives get that treatment sometimes, if they have a successful company I highly doubt they are stupid enough to give promotions to every other girlfriend the son has

[@owl7072]

On top of that, him being a co owner means there's a whole other person who helps run the place, so even if the owner _does_ choose who gets the promotion, only _one_ of them is related to Op's boyfriend, so even if he was biased, he'd have to get it approved by his partner who isn't related to them in any way except business, and again that's just working under the premise that they're the ones who give promotions to begin with _and_ he knows about Op. Both have to approve.

[@lina9535]

Wouldn't it be funny if bf's dad really disliked OP? And she'd actually earned the promotion, unlike what the jealous masses on Reddit thinks? They'd probably have a coniption 😂

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: the most childish part of this family is all the adults. Sister and BIL can pay for a babysitter, and I hope OP goes and they never see her again for dust. She's 27, not 17! ETA: if father is not in your corner and crushing this crap, he's not your "friend".

[@sonialinsey8083]

Some people have values where their family is important regardless of how they are treated. Honestly if you can get past people’s awful behavior, more power to you but I really am not one of those people. If you’re crappy to me you’re out.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Nepo: weather true or not if she was going to talk shit in front of everyone then she should be able to handle a come back

[@claudiawright2382]

Last story. I’m sorry but NTA. It doesn’t matter that OP obviously enjoys some nepotism. The cousin was rude as heck with her jealous display, trying to embarrass OP. She can dish it but can’t take it. Reddit is messed up. It’s like they expect OP to bow down before her cousin and apologize for having better advantages in life. Which would make her a doormat, something Reddit doesn’t like either. So what is it?

[@shells500tutubo]

IKR? With the amount of information we have been given, or should I say lack of information, we don't know if there was nepotism or not. If the bf's father's company has fifty employees, maybe, but maybe the company is a giant corporation, like Disney Co. or Microsoft or Amazon, where being the gf of the CEO's son would mean nothing since the company is so large. The cousin IS a bitch, and a jealous one to boot.

[@LisaApril]

Story one: why can’t the grandparents or someone else like an actual babysitter babysit The niece? After being treated like that I don’t think I would move close by at all. A State away would be nice. After the update on the mention of the moms controlling behavior and her favoritism I think it would be best for op’s mental health to not live so close to them as to not be so embroiled with them. When someone doesn’t let you be yourself or doesn’t see you as you see yourself no good can come from it, Especially if it’s a parent who should love you unconditionally.

[@eileenhathaway1674]

Story 2 She should tell them, "Play stupid games, get stupid prizes". Also whip out a recorder every time they come near you. It might shut them up.

[@RagingRaven88]

That's what I was thinking too! If it's just a joke then they won't have a problem with you recording it now will they?

[@katekelley955]

Story 2: I studied and worked in a male dominated field. My college program was very small and I was treated well, but work was a different story. I decided early on that I wouldn't take any crap, and obnoxious coworkers soon learned that they ended up looking foolish. Example: two of us were sent to replace a malfunctioning sump pump. The pump was heavy and pulling it out was considered to require two people. My coworker sat on a bucket and lectured me about how women lacked the upper body strength to do a man's job, while I pulled the pump by myself. I then carried it over and placed it on his steel-toed boots, pinning him in place as he wasn't strong enough to push it off. Hmm. I left him there and went back upstairs to get what I needed to finish the job. When people asked where he was I told the truth: "Last I saw him he was in the reagent basement." He eventually got free, and made sure not to annoy me after that. (By the way, I wasn't like She-Hulk or anything. I was a shapely young woman but I was fit and quite strong.) Still, it was exhausting to have to prove myself over and over. So after ten years I switched to teaching.

[@amandab8433]

I'm sending this to my daughter. She's in a very male dominate major at UCB, CS and DATA. She is/was also a model. She's very smart, started taking classes at the local community College at age 10. She has 3.95 GPA, and is extremely driven. The first year there she was consistently undermined, talked over, and ignored by her fellow male students. At one terrible point she almost decided to leave school. It was that bad. She finally got a wonderful mentor who knows what it's like to be on the outside of a male dominate school and work field. She is now a Junior and thriving. My oldest son is an engineer at Google, and he is also on the outside. While he is male, he's also the ONLY African American in his group. Now that's a whole other story.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

And yet you’ll still have men crying and whining that only men work in certain professions, ignoring how toxic those environments can be.

[@tinycrimester]

yeah uh, people nowadays think physical strength directly correlates with muscle size and you have to look like you came from a factory farm to lift. like there's a connection for sure, but i've seen some tiny skinny little guys with hulk strength. glad you shut that guy's mouth at least.

[@Songbirdstress]

@@amandab8433 Women do it too. I was talking with a colleague and said I can't read stuff. She replied ah you're too vain and pretty to wear glasses. WTF? I replied no, I can't afford to buy any. That shut her up quick.

[@amandab8433]

@@Songbirdstress Yeah sometimes women can be each other's worst adversary.

[@Talmorne]

Surely they can manage for a few months without a free babysitter lmao

[@JoltaeAndwae]

That's meeeeesssed up mani-tacts. I've physically met my brothers kids twice (birth and 1yr old) and they know me. I've never met my sisters kids physically and they know me. This is so dumb and while it could be partly due to age of the parents and not being used to video call convenience I would throw them all in the bin after the vacation.

[@ffraine]

Story 1 - Good lord, those parents get free babysitting TWICE A WEEK!?!?!? I can't imagine how relaxing it would be to get that even once a month.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

For those of us who didn't have anyone to freely babysit, even on day off a month would've been nice. But you go on little outings (museums, parks, zoos) with your kids and make your own memories. I get that OP is "less than" for not having a husband and child, and clearly mom is playing favorites.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Babies don’t remember shit til after 3. That’s when the memories become more concrete.

[@carrissa8867]

Actually it's more like 5 before that is generally borrowed memories

[@elleembee6335]

The only early memory I have as a small child is of orange shag carpet, which is from age 3. But only the carpet between my fingers, that's it. I had no idea my aunt and cousin lived with us the first few years of my life until I was told when I was older. It's also why they say to not take kids to places like Disney World until they're old enough to remember it and to not be screaming like toddlers do since they miss their nap time. I took my daughter when she was four. She remembers nothing of it. She definitely remembers when we went when she was older, but that time doesn't even exist for her. Even if a kid forgets you, they remember quickly. It's like a day or two and they remember they like you.

[@alexanderhenby1362]

Last story, gotta love people who dint know what nepotism means. Nepotism is family, cronyism is Companions and friends. Also, odd that they BOTH got a job at HER boyfriend's dad's company. Seems like bf's dad took a recommendation to hire TWO people who were educated in a field. Some people don't realize when they have "nepo-privilage"

[@karimygirl5826]

Story 1 needs to go and have fun. Screw the sister, she only wants to use you for a baby sitter

[@deuntafarmer5806]

hope she bring somebody with her too dangerous to travel alone

[@paulastiles5507]

@@deuntafarmer5806 Eh, I've been safer traveling alone than I have with some of the idiots I've traveled with.

[@cuddlicalf4854]

Reddit is hella salty in story #3.

[@noneedtoknow07]

They must be the unaware exceptionally bad employee's

[@madambutterfly1997]

You see a pretty woman excel and you assume she used her looks to get by?

[@jakeand9020]

1: Pretty privilege is not assuming she "used her looks." It's that her looks have fringe benefits. 2: Pretty privilege is real, it's pretty well documented. When a good looking person does something good it is seen as better than when a less attractive person does it. When a good looking person does something bad it's seen as less bad than when a less attractive person does it. That said, pretty privilege is NOT limited to women and the fact women are usually the only ones accused of it is sexist.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Maybe it helps getting a job, but ultimately if your code or your engineering doesn't work then it's not going to last. How about the "gentlemen" worry about their own performance?

[@alg94]

the job story: nta. I'm tired of everyone pissing on anyone who gets a job or position based on who they know. ITS LITERALLY HOW THE WORLD WORKS. its how jobs work. everyone is discounting any work op has done for herself because her "boyfriends daddy" owns the company. how degrading is that? and just because ops cousin has worked there longer but she got passed up is not actually indicative of anything. time spent at a company is not what gets you promotions. Lia is the asshole for coming at op for this and the commenters are so up their own butts with all this "nepo" talk that they're the assholes to op.

[@ThatsViews]

I agree. If she wasn't good at her job, they'd not have promoted her, they'd have given her a soft non job to keep her quiet and happy.

[@sonialinsey8083]

They likely promoted her to keep her based on the fact she was looking for other jobs. If you care about your business you don’t promote bad people who are lazy. It’s actually fairly risky to hire your “friends”. What if they break up? What if they have to let her go and then their son disowns them?

[@ScarabD]

I'm sorry idgaf if "that's how the world works". Capitalism is "the way the world works". Having the Death penalty in several states is "the way the world works". People having to go into massive debt so they don't die of preventable illnesses because the American healthcare system is money-driven is "the way the world works." That doesn't make any of those things right or acceptable. It doesn't mean Lia doesn't get to be frustrated about it (also come on, it's her boyfriends dad's company, there is absolutely no way in HELL that didn't contribute to HER being offered the job over Lia.) Also, is her getting that promotion the result of "how the world works", as you say (aka nepotism) or "a result of her hard work"? Like, it's very possible that it's BOTH, and the latter doesn't eliminate the former. Lia being upset at that, as well as the fact, everyone obviously favouring OP, and not replying to someone (who called her a b*tch?!) doesn't make OP any less of an asshole.

[@purplecrayonismine2585]

Reddit need to have the word nepotism taken away, they no longer know what it means, she's just a girlfriend not even a wife, I know people on business who wouldn't give that treatment to a wife much less a girlfriend, if the boyfriend is rich he can just buy her pretty stuff to keep her happy and it probably would benefit him more than giving her a better job.

[@owl7072]

Honestly 💀 "A long standing worker was passed up-" yeah that's something that happens fairly often. Some people will work somewhere for years until they get promotions and some get them within a few months or so 🤷🏻 Even then, daddy dearest isn't the sole owner like they're saying, he's a co owner, so even if he _was_ pulling the strings for promotions, that's a whole other person he's got to go through and get to agree with it

[@Tijggie82]

Story 2: "What?? You're loosing your scholarship over a joke?? That's crazy! Maybe you can explain the punchline to the prof, since people don't seem to understand the joke."

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

S1: My parents in law live in Germany, while we live in the Netherlands. My kids were around 2-4 at the time covid started. They only saw their grandparents 3 times per year before covid, during covid they didn't see their grandparents for 1.5 years. They still remembered their grandparents after these 1.5 years of no contact. Kids don't forget you when you're away.

[@Munthegun]

So I am in fact leaving on a 7 month abroad trip soon and have been planning for months. I did not tell a soul until the other day for the very same reason. Only a couple weeks of having to listen to them instead of months. GO TRAVEL OP

[@kristys7172]

Story one: they can pay a babysitter to watch the baby.

[@rf159a]

Story #1: I would tell OP to go and have a great time!! Time is too damn short not to do the things you want!!!

[@autum_fire8684]

Story 1, 2 years old is enough to remember you when your gone for a few months. I've been told my little sister was knocking on my door every summer when I went to my dads house the whole summer

[@kichikitsu]

S1: aaah the familial intricacies of having an abuser as a parent. Glad sister can see mom's toxicity and realized her own mistake when mom got involved. Also glad OP is still going on the trip! Hopefully sister does actually facetime her. It's not fun visiting a nibling only to realize they not only remember you but are scared of you bc of the stranger danger phase.

[@schwagecko5589]

I think in the first story when she says she accepts that she will always be the bratty younger sister it's her saying she accepts that that's how they will (probably) always see her. This is absolutely the right move imo. When you accept that sort of thing you no longer bother wasting effort trying to change it and feel less disappointment because you don't expect anything else. It takes a huge weight off your shoulders and allows you to live your own life without having to worry about disappointing people who will never accept your life choices.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Always demand for 'silly jokes' to be explained.

[@toothless3835]

Oh, exactly. "I don't get. Please explain." Because it falls apart when the assholes start explaining thing. "It's not funny if I've got to explain" Then it's not funny at all.

[@jenniferrichards2122]

S3, I have never heard of a co-owner caring enough of an offsprings gf to get them ahead in a company. Maybe a spouse and creating an unnecessary position but not this. Cousin is just jealous in my opinion.

[@queencars802]

Idk if its nepotism tbf, she never stated how long she's been with her bf with and shes been at the company for years. Plus the promotion could be that the company learned she was looking into other options and offered it so she'd stay. That's a normal business deal to begin with especially if they're a good worker

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Story #2: I'm petty as hell!! I would have told them, " You guys are pissed off at the fact that my balls are bigger than yours but mind are on my chest!"

[@leaflet1686]

The girl, that got harassed by the guys in her school will have a hard time if she stays so weak and doesn't learn to raise hell... As a woman who worked in a mens job I am worried. She needs to get loud! If a man says something like that in front of authority none the less, you are going to be loud! Repeat what he said and ask what his effing problem is and why he is such a b to accuse her of something like that simply because he is to stupid to take a shit. Scream and throw some minor insults in and you are good to go and no one will ever mess with you again.

[@keplersdream901]

False. Men are cucks. They simply do not respect women, period. Whether she's "loud" or not, they are penis-whores who are disingenuous about their sexuality. The truth is that academia hates women who stand up for themselves and men will always fuck over superior women. That's the way it is. Either the school needs to get rid of the cucks or she will be run out of the program. Again, it's the way it is, whether it's moral/right or not.

[@elleembee6335]

That can get tricky if they decide to film you and edit it to make you seem difficult to work with. They will 100% hold onto that to harm her in the future. She's taking the high road and the school is behind her. If that doesn't work, it's time to step things up. But having the school on her side is the best way to handle it these days.

[@leaflet1686]

@@elleembee6335 Film her? During classes? In front of the professor? They are already harming her so she needs to learn to step up for herself. What are they going to do? Showing a half ass edited mobile phone video to every company in the country? People are to afraid these days...

[@elleembee6335]

@@leaflet1686 it's called professionalism. When you show it, you look like the good guy while making them look like the complete assholes they are. If you play into their "emotional women can't handle the stress" crap, they will find other ways to fuck with you or will warn potential workmates that you're rude, unprofessional, and threatening. There are people who were horrible to myself and others that I calmly documented until it was handed over to their superior. And I mean things like asking her a question in email so I could get it in writing that she was threatening me with physical harm. I got promoted, the temp agency suddenly needed her for a different job. Documentation can get you a lot of places that threatening someone can't. She did it right, especially if he loses his ability to stay in the program. There's nothing more, "fuck around and find out" than having real, lasting consequences.

[@leaflet1686]

@@elleembee6335 Ahhhhhhh~ It's abvious I work with crap people, where you are either a bitch or you get eaten alive ^^' I will definetively remember, what you told me, it could help in the future, thank you!

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #3: Was Reddit on crack that day? How is it not being a bitch to call out your cousin at a family get-together because *other* family members are congratulating her on a promotion? Excuse me if I'm skeptical that OP's cousin never-ever got a break because of someone she knew or was related to and isn't just having convenient amnesia about it.

[@darkmask5933]

Final story: Even if it is nepotism, what was OP supposed to do? Hey, it sucks for the cousin but that's life, and calling OP out at a family gathering is, quite frankly, a bitchy thing to do. Nepotism sounds like it most certainly is involved, but the only way Reddit seems like they would be satisfied is if OP admitted in front of friends and family "yes, I don't work as hard as you and only got where I am because of networking", which networking is involved, OP probably does work hard as well. Since when is it ok to tear someone else done in a public setting to lift yourself up? Cousin is a bitch, OP is NTA.

[@death_incarnate9231]

I'm not surprised reddit voted the way they did. They pretty consistently work in a judgmental high horse hive mind fashion. Personally I say the cousin and all the yta/esh votes can fck themselves and that op while had an advantage didn't do anything different than literally anyone else would if they had the same privileges at their disposal.

[@dzll]

U r right in a sense that the cousin shouldn't have called out OP like that. But I think people in general should understand and acknowledge when they have advantages over others. Nothing wrong with being fortunate. Can't live life being bitter at others. What clears that to me that OP does have an advantage that she was working there for a shorter amount of time and got a promotion.

[@hbomb0417]

I agree with NTA cause what if the situation was different where the company Op was working at wasn't owned by her boyfriend's dad or the roles were reversed if the cousin was the one dating the boyfriend and working at the company his dad owned. and things still played out the way they did, then what?. Also, not every person has nepo privilege. some people while still working hard don't always get a promotion or make the cut just because they worked at a place owned, runed by someone in their family, or even attempt to go into the same career as their parents or family members where it's 50/50. Some thrive in pursuing the same occupation as their parents/ family members whereas some even if they put in the effort or not, just don't always meet the criteria to peruse that area and should always need to have a backup plan just in case.

[@Michael.CrazedAlaska]

Ikr, also how long have they been dating? Because if it’s a long time nepotism becomes a bigger factor, but if it’s like, “hey dad I’m dating this cool girl who works in your industry and looking for a job.” Then it’s she got the job with good reference… so time factor matter too

[@dylanpalmer5151]

@@hbomb0417 Okay, but the problem here is that the company IS partially owned by the bf's dad. While it is impossible to say whether or not this situation is truly nepotism, due to OP being an unreliable narrator telling only one part of the story, you have to admit that there are no two ways about it: this situation looks a lot like nepotism, especially to the competing party who lost out on a promotion to a newer hire, seemingly because she's dating the big boss' son.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Yeesh! I'm glad OP chose to keep the trip! I do admit to being envious of my parents and siblings as they've gone here and there, but good grief! All I ask is they have a good time and stay safe. Glad the sister saw the error of what she was doing, the mother on the other hand can knock it off.

[@geckokid8265]

Op in story 2 should have turned around and said "I didn't report a silly joke, I reported blatant harassment, defamation, and sexism"

[@doctordetroit1217]

Even if OP was seeing PHD, unless he was taking the exams for her, she was coming top on her own merits. They were happy to try and infer she was cheating, which could have had serious repercussions for her, so if it blows up in their faces tough!

[@BlueSkyBS]

Story 1: Whose effing child is this, OP's or their sister's? "What is she supposed to do on the weekends?" How about she parent her own effing child. "She wouldn't remember you when you get home." It's four months. FOUR months. The kid has plenty of time to memorize the existence of their aunt. Update: Oh, she's one of THOSE mothers. The kind who drives families apart by trying to keep them together in all the wrong ways.

[@joeschmo622]

Easy way to shut them up: _"One more word... _*_JUST ONE MORE WORD..._*_ and I'll _*_NEVER_*_ babysit for you ever again. Just try me..."_ And if they blow it, keep to your word, and only babysit if they *PAY* you normal babysitting rates.

[@erinledbetter6183]

Ugh, that last story kinda ticked me off. Now a days you cant work anywhere without "knowing" someone, specially in a town you live in. She wasnt just HANDED the job, I am sure she worked really hard, got an education that gave her qualifications. Sorry (not sorry) if the cousin worked there before her, I am sure the boyfriend's father knows they are related so if it really was nepotism the cousin would have gotten good treatment too for being "Family" ... do not undermind someones accomplishments because they are good at their job. It is really annoying.

[@truthseeker9249]

Exactly. As sad as it is, it's just the reality. It's not so much about what you know, it's more about WHO you know.

[@stellamccoy5259]

Last story, NTA. Just because she works at bfs fathers company doesn't mean there is nepotism here. All those calling OP an AH are just jealous. Not everyone works as hard as everyone else. I am retired military and have seen people get promoted that had less time in than I did. You know what? They wanted it more and worked harder to get it.

[@cb9825]

Do people really do such huge favours as promotions for their kids' bfs and gfs, not even spouses? Like they could break up in a month or in a week. I wouldn't do it if I was a company owner.

[@ashh4929]

Bloody hell, when did being an aunt/uncle start trumping being the ACTUAL freaking parent?! 🤦‍♀️🤬

[@faciaw771]

Sis: what am I supposed to do on the weekends OP: oh gee I don't know, how about.........what's that called again........ oh right. be a parent

[@torukurebayashi1960]

Story 2 annoys me like hell. It was damn hard getting into IT (am female) and the amount of "It's just a joke" or sideglances even from teachers and now from Clients or out-of-team Co-workers is to damn high. Teachers tried everything for me to not choose to train into IT, basically bully me into choosing some secretary or sales training where all the other women ended up in, a field that has way to many people already, most of them ended up unemployed or in jobs outside their field. Getting treated like you got a job just so the quota could be filled isn't a joke either. I am lucky to have found a good team to work with, but sometimes the tickets I have worked on get sent in again because my answer wasn't believed, but when a male co-worker copy-pastes my answer it's accepted. Frustrating.

[@damien678]

This is why I (born female) honestly hesitate to go into any male-dominated field despite my interests leaning more towards them. That sounds hellish.

[@torukurebayashi1960]

@@damien678 This is from my experience, keep in mind that I lucked out and got not (very) competitive Coworkers so the current adversity comes from outside my team: you kinda get used to it. It's still annoying but after a while you just shrug it off and think your portion. My job is worth it for me. Although honestly you do have to learn how to give jabs as much as take them. I am a very shy woman who brings cakes and cookies every other week to the office because I love baking, but by now even I can give a harsh comeback to stupid comments. Honestly, I am unable to decide if the plain dismissal by men is worse, or if it's the harsh judgement by women.

[@lovingmusichere]

My anger issues could never for story 2😒 I’m very petty and vengeful, a notice from an advisor wouldn’t be all they’d be getting if they came at me. They’re just jealous they’re not as smart (or good looking I bet) as op. I bet this is a STEM program.

[@JMac7395]

LAST STORY: OP is NTA. OP verbally defended herself against someone who lashed out at her first from jealousy & resentment. People always take issue with the person who defends themselves & make excuses for the person that's doing the attacking. If OP is in denial about her privilege, then that's her personal cross to bare. OP benefiting from her privileges doesn't give the cousin the right to lash out. To be honest, I think the cousin is using OP as a cop-out for her lack of progression within the company. The cousin was already working at the company a few years before OP joined. So why exactly didn't the cousin get promoted long before OP arrived at the company if she's so great at her job? No one is asking this question. Other than nepotism, there are a variety of reasons as to why senior employees don't always move up the company ladder like they want. Some senior employees are purposefully held back by their supervisors because they're great at their job. The supervisor doesn't want to replace them. While some are held back because they don't work well with other employees even though they're great at their job. I don't think it's OP's fault that her cousin didn't move up fast enough. The cousin's anger is misdirected.

[@Iflie]

Imagine being good at your job and everyone assumed what you get is through nepotism, it's likely her boyfriends father the boss is way too high up to even talk to the people that make those choices. So unless her boyfriend goes to his dad everytime she wants a promotion it seems unlikely.

[@dulcilass]

Babysitter? Tell your family that you are not going to give up your life to babysit your niece. When you get back don't get rooked into being a surrogate parent for the kid either.

[@DreamyDuskywing]

As a child with a dad in the military, we were always happy to see him even after he was away for 6 months at a time. Even in the 90's without the communication options available to us now. What ridiculous manipulation!

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Also story 1: The second someone insults you for not giving them free help should be the second they never get free help from you again.

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

1st OP should not babysit when she comes back and look into moving away from parents.

[@mkitten13]

Story 1: Of course NTA, and a point regarding the child remembering. I moved away from my home town when my oldest niece was nearly a year and a half, I moved far enough away that it meant I could only return 2-3 times a year for holidays. Still wasn't an issue for us bonding, she always knew who I was despite it being several months between each time, because I had consistently been around her for her first year and a half. With her younger sister who was born after I had moved away, it did take some time each visit for her to be fully comfortable with me, but after a couple of years we too were perfectly fine. Same goes for my nephews. With kids, what matters is that you put in the effort when you see them, not that you are around all the time.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 2: F around and find out. Don't be a raging misogynist if you can't afford to take on the consequences. He DOES deserve to lose that scholarship. NTA whatsoever.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Story 2: NO! NOPE! Just NO! Not the AH at all! These BOYS need to GROW THE HECK UP! Women can do ANYTHING just as good as men! UGH! If any of these were my sons they'd have a clap upside the head!

[@WyntheRogue]

The incel energy is strong within these chuds. :P Seriously though, you'd think people would want capable people on the tech scene regardless of sex [again, if those chosen are the best at what they do, then who cares what bits they're born with/identify as?], they realistically can't expect tech and other fields to be a sausage fest forever.

[@vidhead85]

Overall a positive update, glad the sister apologized and hugged it out. Best of luck in the trip OP

[@rangeraero]

Story 2: Oh, are you worried about losing your scholarship? Well, if you don't want to win stupid prizes, DON'T PLAY STUPID GAMES.

[@MalkavianGhoul]

I was used as free childcare and my family didn't believe in paying me for it because we were family. When I stopped wanting to babysit and stop letting them guilt trip me they had to figure out other means because I wasn't gonna do it for free anymore. They would complain I didn't do it for free, but then when I was saw their kids more than they did they wondered why I didn't have a life or a job. so I had them pay me from then on but they would always try and scam me out of pay or hardly give me anything so they lost their babysitter all together.

[@SaraiMabel]

The audacity of people always infuriates me especially when everyone rally’s behind one in the wrong. Like how the parents are on the sisters side.. like they for real just need to get a babysitter.. how entitled they are and ungrateful towards all the help OP has given. Not everyone can be in a good enough financial spot to be able to go on a big trip and If you don’t go now you never know what will happen in the future. I wish others could see things as clearly as someone else lookin in could would make things so much easier

[@nicksuazo4377]

The thing is they want a FREE babysitter, one that's family and one that can be pushed around. That's why people have the audacity, because they think they can get away with the "favors" BS, especially when it's among family members.

[@elleembee6335]

​@@nicksuazo4377 the accuracy. My mom was a realtor and she'd have people leave their kids with me and tell them she'll pay me, they don't need to worry about it. I never got a penny. I'd be babysitting 7 kids for 6 hours and get nothing. It was absolutely BS

[@Flakey101]

Please listen to the story again the mom is not on the sisters side, she was just using the situation to add more things onto OP to not to go, and get outside of mom's control. Every one focuses on the sister and forget the sister actually apologised for her outburst. The mom is the driving force behind all this and every one dumps on the sister and mostly leaves out the mother.

[@nicksuazo4377]

@Flakey101 The mom is the instigator and the toxic enabler. I'm just glad OPs sister wasn't like their mother, or at least not a puppet to be controlled by mommy dearest.

[@tabeechey]

Story 2: as a professor, I would step in a call this nonsense out. Remind them that if this harassment continues in the class or out I will involve their advisors. That any instinct to blame someone should be directed at their mirrors, because they are behaving unprofessionally and repeating sexist tropes that are unscientific and insulting.

[@tabeechey]

Sorry, just steaming. Doing this in front of faculty implies the culture of the department allows for this nonsense.

[@hothotheat3000]

Put them on an information diet. Had to do that with my mom when she wouldn’t stop criticizing my life. Now she’s sad that I never tell her anything, but she left me no choice. She calls to ask how I am, I say “fine, thanks” and give her absolutely nothing to use against me. She doesn’t know about job promotions, trips, anything. I’m an acquaintance to her now.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The 2 year old isn't going to remember OP anyway. She's 2. Most people don't have memories at that age. If you can't care for your child, don't have one. It's your responsibility to raise your child or pay someone(nanny/AU pair to do so)

[@Boundwithflame23]

Heck I barely remember anything from elementary school days much less from when I was 2 I have a few vague memories but that’s it.

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Story 2: Harassment, bullying, then retaliation. NTA, consequences of their actions.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: maybe learn to know when to joke and what to joke about. Especially when the target of said jokes don’t respond to it in a joking way. OP didn’t potentially ruin their schooling, they did it themselves by making sexist “jokes” in a professional setting and making OP so uncomfortable she has had bad anxiety

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Why don't your parents and grandparents volunteer to babysit? A lack of sexual control and birth control on their part doesn't mean you should stop your plans!! Sounds like your sister and husband are jealous that they can't go and believe that you should stay and be miserable with them. Go on your trip, be extra careful and have a BLAST!!

[@johnodotca]

Op story 1, go on your trip. Your niece will be fine. Your sister is entitled AF, myself and most of the other parents I know look after their own children on the weekend, or pay for a babysitter. In six years, I have had one, ONE, child free weekend. Maybe your parents could lend a hand instead of volunteering your time.

[@loverlyqueerbunny]

Story1: NTA my oldest niece was born my first year of college, and I lived 3-4 hours away 75-95% of the time between her birth and 4th birthday, I have 3 sisters and I was still her favorite aunt. your 2 year old niece will remember you when you get back even if you are gone for longer.

[@tk6239]

1st story...Op NTA...what is your sister supposed to do...well to use their words against them this is an important time in your neices life so maybe sister should stay home and take care of her own kid on a weekend.

[@whitneybennett4857]

*GASP* How dare you suggest the kid's OWN DAMN MOTHER give up her precious time and money to actually be a parent?!

[@ShotgunsAndSalt]

with story 2 - even if she did have a PhD student boyfriend helping her out, someone helping you to revise isn't cheating. Or are they accusing her of having him whisper in her ear during the exam or something?

[@justine8387]

Yep, that is exactly what they were accusing her of doing.

[@ShotgunsAndSalt]

@@justine8387 but that makes 0 sense because they were presumably at the exam as well and he was not?

[@kiwifreund]

When I was younger than the OP, I took a road trip around the U.S., and then I picked a new place to live. Boy, did everyone try to guilt me. But I saw so many things. I even crewed for a hot air balloon. Now, nearly 3 decades later, my life has changed drastically in ways absolutely no one could have predicted. I am so thankful I did all of these things when I could. I regret nothing. REGRET NOTHING. DO IT.

[@stevensmith4763]

Story 3… this girl is delusional and so are a lot of the commenters. You’re gonna beat her ass verbally, just because of her relationship? You work hard, you get promoted. End. Of. Story! If the other girl wasn’t sooo jealous, why comment! Why not just go get the new job and excel?

[@Ventura574]

Story 1: I used to think that it was just my controlling mother as the problem and dad as a friend and my true loving parent. Took me years to realize he enabled my mother's behavior, and didn't protect me from her. That father is not a friend. He's not the good guy in that relationship. He's an enemy.

[@tabeechey]

Story 1: mom to a 2 year old, this whole thing is NUTS. First, toddlers have a surprisingly long memory. Second, they re-bond easily. Third (and most importantly) they Re using OP! Our brothers will hang out with our little guy occasionally, but we are in the other room to help with diapers and such. It is supposed to be FUN for them, not an obligation! My husband's grandparents cared for him for a little over a week one time for a specific trip. Other than that we are always with them, too. Because our kid is not someone else's unpaid responsibility, and his extended family is there for fun, not obligation.

[@nightcorelucario2218]

"she won't remember you when you get home" she isn't going to remember anyway. does anyone remember what they did when they were 2? I put my foot in my birthday cake when I was 2 and I sure as hell don't remember doing that and there's pictures

[@jordandavenport5784]

I don’t think I’d ever have the balls to turn in a report about bias, in which I accuse my professor of being a pervert with no integrity. This is what I’d say to that guy and make it so he doesn’t sleep for a week.

[@cb9825]

Story 1 father is enabling the controlling mother "to keep the peace"🙄very typical for this kind of families. No, he is not really on OP's side. He is on his own side.

[@sadisticrainbow9689]

Over looking an employee that has been there longer for a promotion doesnt mean favortism. There could have been other factors. Maybe she was better suited or the other girl had issues. I dont think the OPs job was free of favoritism but I think a blanket statement like that is false. I got promoted after 7 months over someone who had been there 3 years. I worked my butt off for it with a proven track record of greatly increased sales for the whole department. To say that was favortism just because I wasnt there as long is ignorant.

[@pir8lifeforme]

The last story, there is not enough evidence of nepotism. Just because someone else has been at a company or department longer does not equal nepotism if someone with less time is promoted. I joined a group and was rapidly promoted over others who were there longer because I worked hard. Just because she was dating the owner's son does not mean they would jeopardize their company by favoritism of a single employee. That is very bad business. However, OP's response was doubly rude and was inappropriate.

[@stevenbart2375]

OP's cousin acted like a jealous bitch, so OP called her out. Seems justified to me.

[@theginganinja3596]

But calling someone out at a family gathering is fine? Is that what your saying because to me that’s pretty bitchy

[@bbjjbb61]

​@@theginganinja3596 Exactly.

[@massomouse1556]

Story 1 - NTA '2 is an important time and she'll forget you if you vacation for that long' uh no, three weeks, maybe a month, by OP's clarification that it'll realistically be a little more than three weeks, does not equal long enough for a developing child to forget a person.

[@itrasheditgood]

Oh, Op in first story should have a new policy when she gets back since she’s not working, sister wants her to babysit, she needs to pay for that service. If not, family needs to kick rocks.

[@jonnaughton]

Story 1: “I can either not babysit for the next 4 months, or never babysit again. Your choice.”

[@madambutterfly1997]

They’ve become complacent and overly reliant.

[@lindaomoefe4156]

Story 1. NTA. Go on your trip and do NOT babysit when you get back.