My Family Is ENABLING My Sister's Sleeping Habits Yet They Blame Me r/Relationships

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

S2: OPs fear of being labeled a gold digger is her husband's weapon of choice to manipulate her. She would be better off alone with him paying child support than living in a house where she's essentially an indentured servant and not an equal partner.

[@ineedhoez]

Facts!!!! She would be sitting pretty.

[@bunnyslippers191]

2nd story: OP's husband makes 394% of what she makes and he gets mad at her, calls her a gold digger when she objects to their splitting the rent 50/50 and OP pays all the other household expenses like food and so forth as well as her own personal hygiene needs, clothing, etc.while she works from home full time *and* is a full time mother? On top of that he keeps demanding that they move into bigger and more expensive places to live and still keep their finances completely separate with her paying half of everything? Financial abuse and he doesn't see his wife as a wife and partener-she's a maid/nanny/broodmare.

[@saratronus]

Yeah am I the only one? That thinks how crazy it is that op literally confessed that she was the one taking them on trips and on dates before they had kids like she. Would spend her own money on him instead of being 5050. I'm kind of sad that opie didn't break up with this creep. He was hella predatory with the way he Had the money split

[@saratronus]

And I am pretty sure that this falls under financial abuse because Opaha no means of escape or of doing anything.

[@jakeand9020]

Sounds like she's in the US, I don't know what she signed for a prenup but I guarantee it doesn't exempt him from child support and she'd be getting more from him for that then she was getting to maintain his lifestyle. She should check the laws in her state, in some states you can't prenup away marital assets. Which means alimony based on his income might still be on the table, even if the prenup should veto that. If that's the case she could quit her job and still be making more than she was while being married to this wretch of a "man."

[@ThePandastalks]

L lol

[@ThePandastalks]

😅😊😊😊😊😊

[@Whatsername4224]

Story 1: I had a roommate who would pick up the bottom sheet on one side of my bed and dump me out of bed onto the floor if he heard my alarm go off more than twice. He wasn't in the wrong. It's seriously rude to a) make everyone listen to the alarm go off over and over again and b) expect others to be responsible for my time management. BTW, it only took him dumping me out of bed twice for me to get the point and start getting up on my own.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

I had someone pick me up and dump me into a kiddie pool 😂 But I had had a seizure the night before and they always wipe me out. They had not known that however. But it was still so very hilarious to me! I woke up laughing hysterically. Glad to see you are rational and responsible enough to see how it was done to help you. Sounds like so many people would have just enabled that behavior.

[@blix_xo]

My husband does this. He tends to hit the snooze on his phone as it goes off every other minute. It sure as hell wakes me up, and it's annoying when I start falling back to sleep, then it happens again. I've told him to knock it off. He just says no, he's resting. And I just go fine, don't blame me if you're rushing to get on the road because you decided to snooze your alarms.

[@superzooperhaze6597]

good for you! you just had a bad habit that could be broken! unfortunately not everyone is so lucky to make waking up that easy and there are disorders that can make it nearly impossible to wake up without like 14-16 hours of sleep! don't be crappy and assume everyone is in the same boat :)

[@Whatsername4224]

@@superzooperhaze6597 Just sharing my experience. Not going to apologize for that.

[@PizzaMadeMeFat]

@@superzooperhaze6597 okay and...? they were sharing their experience not trying to assume anything or be mean in any way so your comment is irrelevant

[@alyzu4755]

Story 2: My blood is boiling! OP IS working 2 full-time jobs, and she's on-call 24/7. Does her husband help around the house at all? He sounds like an entitled brat, and he's financially abusing her. Has he always worked for what he had? No! Mommy and Daddy paid his rent for years. They can try counseling, but OP needs to also speak to a lawyer.

[@paden1865able]

You know, a thyroid condition can cause extreme fatigue and a person can sleep sixteen hours and still be tired. Depression can also cause a person to sleep so much. Get this girl to a doctor to make sure she's physically and mentally healthy. Don't accept being an alarm clock for anyone but yourself.

[@clarehidalgo]

Medications can do that too, I reacted bad to a medication and it made me chronically fatigued like I could barely function for more than 3 hours at a time, so bad my doctor put it on my drug allergies list

[@Happyfoam-lw3yt]

I feel like she more likely has a terminal case of the "teenager". Y'all need to quit being internet hypochondriacs. If you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras.

[@athira_n_s]

@@Happyfoam-lw3ytI ignored the the sleep issues and fatigue for so long that my thyroid was about to go in to a thyroid storm and stroke when I finally decided to see a doctor… turns out I have Graves’ disease. Diseases like that is not dramatic enough to cause concern and could be ignored for so long… it affects a large percentage of the population too… I’d rather be a hypochondriac than someone who ignores all the red flags 😅

[@hannijr6120]

@@athira_n_syeah but op saip her mother took her to the doctor…

[@huskytail]

@@athira_n_s if she can wake up 10-20min later, she can wake up earlier as well. I have had severe thyroid condition, and in addition to that I have two medications which just floor me. When you add to that periods of heavy depression you can imagine the problems I regularly have with sleep. Going to the doctor to check the medical side should be considered but digging into this irresponsible behavior is not going to bring her to the doctor or help her find any other solution.

[@AtorrisVsChadinel]

Story 2: This one has been read a couple of times. Since the end result hasn't changed, as much as OP makes it sound like its getting better, I don't think it'll end well in the long run. Husband doesn't sound like he fully gets it.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

It probably collapses after he wants a third baby, while she finally wants to work on her career without getting interrupted by kids screaming.

[@smalcal6365]

this. and it only took quarantining for him to see his wife struggling.. what if that didn't happen? she would be still be resenting him and he still would've been non receptive

[@lauraanderson8785]

Story 2: I'm horrified how OP's husband is abusing OP. He's taking advantage of her so badly; he gets a clean house, meals cooked for him, his kids taken care of without him having to lift a finger, and he gets to have tons of money left since OP is spending most of her salary on rent, leaving him with much more for his selfish wants. I can't understand. I would feel so bad if my partner was doing all that for me and had almost nothing left of their paycheck while I live in luxury and lounge around after work while they're still slaving for me. Disgusting and selfish.

[@tideio]

Thank thank thank thank you for saying this, I’m East African so honestly I was not raised to expect 50/50 types of relationships, my dad was the provider and my mom though she worked part-time (by choice) she took care of us (me and my siblings), my dad paid for everything after school activities and etc and I’m blessed to have an amazing father, being born and raised in a western country and growing up here I’ve become more progressive, so reading this story genuinely pissed me off because it wasn’t even 5050 type of situation, just straight up financial abuse

[@miragedown]

The child money should have been from a shared bank account. And if it's so easy asshole husband should have hired a maid and babysitter since mom actually ha 3 jobs. I'm glad he got his shit together and is growing.

[@AmyRuby]

The grossest part is that she is doing 100% of childcare without being paid. Gross! She’s a full time Nanny and maid and working full time. So terrible.

[@DoritoBot9000]

She should divorce him. Let’s see his surprised face when the judge makes him pay for child support based on his income. Pretty sure this is some type of financial abuse.

[@IrisAsuras]

Story 2: If he doesn't want to pay more, he needs to stay home more and take care of the kid and house. Divide the duties.

[@Deedoof]

Story 2: Why don't spouses believe their partners when they struggle? OPs husband had 0 empathy and little Emotional Intelligence. I'm glad he finally understood but it shouldn't take possible divorce to get there.

[@deborahyoung1873]

He sounds very selfish.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Fr he should not have to experience work from home to understand his wife was struggling. I could not imagine being so void of empathy. At least he changed but Good Lord

[@daichie97]

It hard to break away from parental teaching and double so for people stuck in there own world views the husband most likely had parents tell him poor people are lazy and only want hand outs all his life do him only hearing how bad op part of the deal is didn't say in into her had to endor it

[@agentzapdos4960]

This is why people of different economic backgrounds should never date or even be friends. You need to be selfish and okay with exploitation to be rich.

[@AngelaMerici12]

He seems to be too self centered. He can't put himself in other's shoes.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2- just because you love someone with all of your heart doesn't mean that they deserve it or that you should. She was basically living as a single parent.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

If the prenup terms are really unfair to OP a judge will throw it out. It happens all the time with predatory pre-nups. OP should have gone over it with her own attorney not the family’s attorney. Predatory af

[@robertx8020]

IMO A prenup should ALWAYS be done by a 'neutral ' lawyer and NEVER by a family one !

[@strandedinseattle9931]

What's crazy is that even with the prenup and her using nearly all her income to raise his child with little assistance from him, he was still calling her a gold digger. He was abusing her financially, altering it only under threat of leaving when a mediator was involved.

[@jasoncarter4343]

His inheritance that will make him a millionaire is off the table in a divorce and is not community property.

[@robertx8020]

@@strandedinseattle9931 I agree but I bet he won't agree ..because he's an AH

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Any judge would consider OP not having her own lawyer for a prenup as unfair.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

S2: That husband is abusive in multiple ways. I feel so bad for Op and her kids. They have an absentee father. I wouldn't be surprised to find out if he was cheating at some point. He sounds like the type.

[@DoritoBot9000]

This!!! despite OP insisting this were better on the update, it still sounds like poor environment that will affect the kids.

[@ineedhoez]

Of course he is the type

[@mage1439]

Meanwhile most of us have enough sense to know working full-time while doing all the housework and taking care of the kid is too much to be brushed off. Husband was a real dummy.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

So, for all those people who said OP in Story 1 was the AH, his refusing to wake his sister is what finally kicked off a family plan to fix the problem. The only thing he did wrong was not alerting his mom to the fact that Kaylie was still asleep. Otherwise, he was in the right.

[@hunterjames8653]

Yup 100% agree

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

No he was in the wrong. AJ gave him ONE JOB and he disobeyed. Luckily it turned out alright but if were aj and I always did everything and on my one day off, my brother disobeyed, I'd be pissed at him. The type of people who give criticism yet do nothing. No hate to OP, he's a good guy but Aj would have a point if he said that.

[@Kingdo_RGT]

@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 "The type of people who give criticism yet do nothing." It's wrong. He acted on his critic here. He said multiple times that big bro babysit too much little sis and when he was in charge, he didn't help her. "Luckily it turned out alright" I'm confused here, what do you expect that can turn wrong in not waking up the 15 years old little sis ? That she choke on her saliva and die in her sleep ? I can understand the concern if she was a 5 or 6 years old left home alone, but 15 ?

[@unicorn12345]

@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259OP is an adult and AJ isn’t his parent or his boss, though, so he had no right to expect blind obedience. Only thing I wish he’d done differently is make it crystal clear to AJ and mom that he wasn’t going to be sisters personal wake-up service.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Story 2: OP is burnt out because her husband is abusing her.

[@robertx8020]

Yes and both OP and the husband fail to see it

[@AngelaMerici12]

He called a gold digger to the mother of his child a full time worker/caregiver wife.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Yes. And the update didn't make it better. She's still working at home while now taking care of not one but two children the same time. And probably still doing most of housestuff. The only positive is having more money leftover from the changed finance stuff, but that doesn't make her less worn out.

[@JasperCatProductions]

I’m the alarm clock for my family. It’s ridiculous, everyone wants me to wake them, but their grumpy. I’m up early, I can’t sleep well so by 7 I’m up and a bunch chores done. I wake everyone, they just expect it. Op shouldn’t get dragged down this road. If bro wants to be little daddy let him. But you stay firm that you won’t be the alarm or another parent.

[@dtester]

Make it a game to amuse yourself. Get like really fun and creative ways to wake them up, like air horns and Rick Rolls!

[@tamarasmith9060]

This was years ago, but I still remember clearly how my teen cousin got broken of the bad habit of needing others to get her up. Her parents were divorced & dad in another state, my aunt was also divorced from hubby #2, so it was just my aunt & her 2 daughters living together. Teen cousin wouldn't get out of bed without multiple bouts of physical shaking by her mom, who was trying to get herself & the younger one ready. Then my aunt needed to go out of town for a week. (A job training thing. Nowadays the tech college in our city has the same course available once a year, but back then they didn't.) So, my mom took the 8 yr old cousin for the week, but teen cousin couldn't catch her school bus from our house & felt trying to get all her stuff moved was too hard, etc. So our youngest uncle came to stay at aunt's house "to be the adult that made sure she ate supper, went to school, & didn't set the house on fire". Before aunt left though, he looked them both in the eye & said he wasn't gonna play around about her getting up. He would come in 1 time & after that he would be getting ready to leave for his own job. If she didn't get up, she would face the consequences of ice water! They both laughed like he was joking. HE WASN'T JOKING! Mon morning, after he woke her & got ready to leave he saw she wasn't eating breakfast yet. He went to look & she was still under the covers. He went in the kitchen, got a 2L pitcher, filled it halfway with ice & then cold water. She still wasn't up by the time he got back to her room so he poured it all over her. 😂 He said she shot up out of that bed & started screaming, so he yelled back at her that she was late. She better get dressed & get her mattress over by a vent if she expected her bed to be dry by bedtime that night. Also, if she didn't get up right away on Tues morning then it would be 2 pitchers of ice water. 🤣🤣🤣 Guess who suddenly had consequences & learned to get up after just one 5-minute snooze?

[@AngelaMerici12]

People can get too confortable.

[@LadyPii]

@@dtester vuvuzela!

[@dtester]

@@LadyPii 😁I like it!

[@Hogwarts_dropoutt]

Last story: If you go to your partner (numerous times) and basically tells them that you’re on your knees financially, you can’t handle life as it is now and that you need help and a change and their response is “this is what you signed up for”… If they can’t get the severity of the situation when their chosen life partner tells them that I don’t think there’s no hope for them! 🚮

[@sophiescott143]

Story 1: As someone who has as much trouble waking as Kaylie (and is a full-grown adult), OP is not the asshole. It's not OP's problem that the sister won't wake up, even if the sister's trouble is beyond her control. OP is not a caretaker or a parent, and shouldn't be required to act like one. Also: 15 is NOT "just a kid". 15 is firmly in the adolescent category, and they need to learn how to take accountability for their own actions.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It sounds like the family is not to blame in story 2. The husband is just a huge AH. If I was wealthy I'd want to make sure my grandchild was well cared for and I'd never let my DIL be paying 50/50 when my child is making multiple times her income. I wouldn't have had more kids and would have been divorced personally. This still sounds like 50/50 to me? She's making more but probably still a fraction of his. Why are they both putting 2/3 into this account?

[@agentzapdos4960]

People of different economic backgrounds shouldn't get involved with one another. People don't get rich by having empathy, and people wouldn't live their entire lives in poverty if they were willing to be selfish and exploit others.

[@terramarini6880]

I said the same thing... "But nothing has changed, it's still the same deal, she just got a raise so feels like she's getting more value". She didn't mention if he took on household chores or hired help from his vast funds in order to ensure she is not working 2 full time jobs. Living in squalor would be preferable than living in a place void of care or concern. I am guessing she is scared his families wealth would be used to secure full custody and keep her kids away from her if she left him. Another reason to never marry up in the financial sector. They will use it against you if things go pear shaped because while they may be gifted monetarily, they tend to be bankrupt in the empathy department.

[@bluedaisies709]

@Agent Zapdos what? that's terribly reductive, broadly stated and honestly would only lead to nad things. I get what you're saying about people not getting rich by habing empathy, believe me, I've been on the poor end of the spectrum my entire life. but not every rich person is a psychopath, and not every poor person is a mother theresa type. I have met both from both classes. this kind of thinking is what lead to situations like nazi germany in the first place. we need the diversity, and the interactions between the classes, only this way we can learn from each other. op in the story is sadly one of those times this interaction didn't lead to a good outcome, and sadly this will happen until we as a society have found a way to eradicate classism as a whole. to read such generalizing statements actually scares me for the future. people seem to spiral into black and white thinking so hard, even worse since the pandemic. but life is happening between the black and white, on the whole glorious spectrum of colour. I truly hope people start remembering that soon.

[@Voidwielder]

The 2/3 sounds perfectly reasonable. If she makes 50k that's 32k, and his 195 yields about 130k. That sounds totally fair to me.

[@DoritoBot9000]

She only mentioned the monetary part. Is he actually doing his part around the house and kids now (aka, being an actual parent) or she still doing most while he sometimes “helps”

[@tgbedini]

I can't tell you how many times I've read, "my partner is a wonderful person, and I love them deeply," and then hear a tale of selfishness and abuse. If they treat you like that, they aren't wonderful, and you are manipulated. Tell hubby, "OK, you do 50%, not one iota less, of all the shopping, all the child care and housework, and running errands during the day. Then we'll split the rent equally." What, he can't do that and keep his high paying job? No shit!

[@sfsin3380]

Unfortunately Story two is why having a catchy word for a Poorer financial abuser (gold-diggers) that doesn't use the word abuse and no equivalent when the abuser is the richer finical abusers emboldens richer financial abusers. They can project and shout gold-digger till the cows come home and never get the defensive reaction from other people OP would of she called her husband out on what he's doing to her.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "There's nothing wrong with it" She's 15, and missed most of school because of it. Op has a point, what's she gonna do when she's living by herself? Are they gonna drive all the way over there to wake her up every morning? What if she's in a different state? I'm not gonna blame her cause it sounds like she genuinely is trying, but man, they're _not_ helping. Edit: "Aj has enough on his plate and you've shown that he can't trust you with one thing" that one thing is something both Aj and their mom has added to both of their plates themselves and now refuse to touch. They're enabling her to sleep through a nuclear explosion and then accusing Op of "bullying her" when he actually tries to get her to _not_ do that. This sounds like something she needs to go to a specialist for but they won't acknowledge it enough to take her to one. Edit 2: So it's literally just cause they're enabling her. I'm glad she's gone to Op at least.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Yes exactly! They keep making the problem worse and then want someone else to help enable when they can't.

[@saratronus]

I think what makes him Then ask the fact that he didn't tell anyone what he was gonna do and had them worry like he didn't even outright say noto his brother. He left it pretty ambiguous what he was gonna do. Remember people communication is key. You gotta communicate yes or no give clear answers don't let Leave people guessing.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@@saratronus he didn't agree to it. He told hus brother he didn't want to and the brother told him it "wouldn't kill him" and left. He NEVER agreed, let alone promised.

[@philwill0123]

​@@ZoeAlleynehe didn't outright refuse either. Accepting without being happy about is still accepting to do something. He has a voice, he didn't refuse.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@@philwill0123 ...so he didn't agree, the person he was disagreeing with LEFT. And then expected that their will would be imposed upon another person who did not agree? His brother left and he stood his ground and his brother did not have the authority he thought he did.

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 2: I come from a household in which my parents have seperate bank accounts, the key difference between their relationship and problematic ones is that they do an even distribution of resources based on income and wants. They never use it as a way of keeping points (I paid for this so you pay for that), it’s rather just a way of them maintaining a healthy level of independence. Should either need a bit of financial help they’ve never hesitated to ask the other to help and in turn they pay each other back when they can (this is less an agreement between them and more both of them being prideful people that never want to make the other think they’re taking advantage of them) Separate finances does not and never should mean you never help each other out financially. Edit: I still don’t like the husband, he was so selfish and ignorant and I doubt the changes will stick. How do you so willingly refuse to recognize the struggles and stresses of your partner?

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 2 update: this was such a bittersweet update. We had another child and as long as op does the heavy lifting, they will continue on happily married. But I hope it continues to improve and the husband truly learned. But I struggle with the idea he watched her struggle, knew she couldn’t afford the changes and kept being well a greedy scrooge. Like if it had been 50% split, I get it. He’s pulling the heavier financial load making more so why is she struggling. But seriously he did a 50 split on a three bedroom; knowing the third bedroom was their kid. And he wanted the bigger more expensive place. He should have compromised having her pay what she had been paying at the old place since he wanted the upgrade

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 this is abuse and you shouldn't have married this man or reproduced with him. Your income is lower now, you're probably the primary careataker, and your expenses are much higher. It's always unacceptable to do 50/50 unless the income is equitable.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Exactly. He is such a that.

[@Callimo]

Also, the way dude rants about OP being a "gold digger" JUST for wanting a more equitable split of finances? And OP has never NOT worked, plus IS the primary caregiver? Now I'm wondering if this dude has someone on the side... On the Update: I'm glad that they got counseling, but it really feels that OP was doing most of the heavy lifting to get this relationship back on track because of that fear of being alone. But hopefully it stays that way.

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@Callimo OP is going to subject herself to abuse for the rest of her life, since the alternative is returning to a life of welfare cheques and subsidized housing.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@Roderico if you want things to be equal, that's percentages. 1000/mo is much more to someone earning 2k a month versus 20k a month. If those people were in a relationship, going 50/50 would be nonsense. Not wanting to be far more financially burdened when you're earning potential has decreased because you're a full time mom is NOT gold digging

[@Callimo]

@@AndyyWithAY Exactly my point. OP's husband's weird rants about her being a gold digger just seemed so out of left field. She works, she's the primary caregiver, she was good with 50/50 split in finances until the husband started making 100k to her 50k. While I'm glad they finally got counseling and finally split the finances sanely and equitably, I'm a little nervous about the stability of this relationship. But, we shall see. :)

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - NTA. She's fifteen. At what age is she supposed to start unlearning a bad habit of refusing to wake up and get ready so she can do things she needs to do on time? AJ and the mom were setting this girl up for future failure into her adulthood. It's embarrassing. Op is the only one actually looking out for her best interests by refusing to coddle her.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 2: And that's why we as women need to STOP having babies with jerks! They will literally NEVER learn as long as we keep tolerating this kind of bs, and keep having kids with aholes.

[@Livingshadow2009]

'Leave my baby sister alone' She hasn't been a baby in over 10 years 😂

[@DerekScottBland]

I do not understand these married couples with split finances. If you don't trust your partner enough to combine finances then you shouldn't be getting married.

[@ineedhoez]

Lmao!!! Right? Imagine having a baby with someone you wouldn't trust with your money. Raise my kids but don't touch my money 😂😂😂😂

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

S1: My ex was like this as a teenager. It ended our relationship. If we had an appointment at noon, I knew I couldn't expect him before 4. Often, I'd be calling at 5 pm, and that would wake him up. OP's sister is younger than he was. She can still change. If she continues to be like this as adult, it's going to stand in the way of life (school, work, relationships).

[@DoritoBot9000]

Holy crap! How did you guys even met if he slept until 5pm?

[@britnicox3929]

I am glad that they reached an understanding but it really really frustrates me that so many people refuse to acknowledge the validity of someone else’s experiences until they are firsthand watching it, even for people who they are supposed to love and care about and want to build a family with. I’m glad they’re in therapy for it though

[@marshawargo7238]

2/3rd 1/3rd? Where's the kids college fund? The retirement $? Vacation allotment... They need more division of income allocation. And is he now helping with housework & child care?

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

​@@marshawargo7238 Yea, and it still doesn't relieve her from her workload cuz she's still doing work the same time as taking care of baby/toddler and doing the housework.

[@AngelaMerici12]

He called her a gold digger 🤷‍♀️.

[@saratronus]

​@AngelaMerici12 Like OP said before the kids she was the one paying for a lot of things in their relationship so yeah I wonder who the gold digger is. Cause it's not the op.

[@DoritoBot9000]

This! She is his wife! why wouldn’t he believe her???

[@karmageddon9047]

Thing is, I empathize with Kaylie. I struggle to wake up at proper times- to this say, alarms barely get me up. I try, I really fucking do. Kaylie clearly has, too. Alarms across the room, math alarm, etc. It just doesn't want to work. I'll wake up at 11am-12, maybe even 1 pm, and fall asleep at 1 am. Back in highschool, i fell asleep at 6 am, woke up at 6:30am, went to school and passed out in my first four periods before finally getting enough rest to function, and i literally couldn't fix it. It's better now, but it's hell. Especially since i was like that until i graduated. Kaylie is going to be suffering for years. And it's likely from depression too. Do they know when she falls asleep? Or just when she wakes up? It's hell. I wish this was something more people understood.

[@karmageddon9047]

With the edit, its good to see those changes. I just wish I had some help the same way.

[@hugdispenser5627]

Story one. Granted I haven’t listened to the whole thing and I don’t know these people but I think they would benefit from checking Kaylie out for a sleep disorder or her thyroid (I have a non-active thyroid; I struggle with waking up and would sleep wayyy past my class times if not woken up. Sometimes alarms work, but if I’m especially fatigued it is impossible to get me up with just one alarm).

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

AJ would benefit from some counseling, he seemingly has some sort of complex that is a detriment to both him and Kaylie, maybe some sort of savior complex (?) stemming from being parentified and feeling the need to step up since their dad died.

[@GiordanDiodato]

also the sister needs professional help. unless she's a total night owl, sleeping for almost 16 hours isn't normal or healthy.

[@miminana-hd6nf]

agree. Mom parentified AJ, early on, and he cannot step back from it. He, and the mother, are not doing Kaylie any favors, they are holding her back. OP, actually did a good thing by doing what he did, it made everyone face the reality of what they were doing to Kaylie, and made her realize she was using AJ as a crutch to not grow up.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

i would say more that he feels the need to be a caretaker.

[@vanguardangel6912]

Honestly I hope they all get some counseling. It sounds like no one is deliberately being a jerk and they all seem willing to grow and be better. I wish them the best!

[@superzooperhaze6597]

@@GiordanDiodato yeah that's definitely a disorder ad not just bad habits at that point. coming from someone with a disorder that causes that.

[@stilettosnthaghetto6997]

People really exaggerate things. The school didn’t say she was missing. Schools have a generic automated call that says your kid is absent. My kids are five minutes late often and I still get that call.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

1) Kaylie needs a thorough medical to be sure she doesn't have low iron or something; 2) Mom needs to find out if Kaylie is on her phone half the night instead of sleeping; 3) DON'T WAKE HER UP. 15 is old enough to get up on her own. I went through this myself as the person who couldn't get up; my sister used to look in and say, hey, aren't you getting up? I told her not to do it anymore because I was starting to rely on it. After a couple weeks of having to scramble to get to work on time, I got up on my own. Kaylie is NOT too young to learn this lesson.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S2: well, sounds better than before, but notice OP says nothing about her husband taking an equal role in child care and household duties. But they've "welcomed another child to the world." Great.

[@agentzapdos4960]

It's impossible for it to be anything other than naked exploitation when someone with wealth and opportunity in life dates someone from poverty with limited or no opportunities in life.

[@ineedhoez]

The codependent doubles down on the children so they canncrest more attachments. They have a pervasive fear of being alone, so they creat circumstances that make leaving impossible.

[@TRONkhfan13]

I’mma give my own testimony on the sleeping in story. I’m a person who has the Sleep of the Dead. Once I sleep, it takes a while or something else to wake me up. It used to be that my Mother would open my door, my dog would rush in and jump on me, and my light would flick on for days I didn’t have to be at work early. For those work days, I normally have 4-5 alarms going off in close-enough proximity to each other to ease me into waking up, each with alternating ringtones. That’s all fine and well, but things changed. My mom died last year. So I’ve been letting our dog sleep beside me. It’s gotten to the point where I, someone who can easily sleep until noon, generally have been rising early around every day. This is either a medical condition undiagnosed, or a habit that the Mother and other sibling are perpetuating.

[@tinycrimester]

story 2: if you want a sahm, yeah you essentially have to "pay her to be a mum" as he so eloquently put it. everybody needs an income. drives me up the wall when mofos wanna have their cake and eat it too.

[@bunnyslippers191]

Dude needs to experience having to do everything Wife does all day every day and see if he could do it even 25% as well as she does. Leave him alone with the kids for a week and see what happens. Child care and home making is what is called "invisible work." No one else sees what all it takes to keep a home and take care of a family's needs inside the home, so, since no one sees all that, no one values it. They sure as hell start valuing it if they are the ones having to do it, though. They need to include keeping track of birthdays, anniversaries, doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, etc. All that usually lands on the wife, too. Wife is usually the one buying the cards, signing them as from both her and the husband, mailing those cards so they get there on time, going out and buying whatever presents are needed and making sure the husband and family make it on time to the celebration. She's the one making sure the kids make it to the appointments for yearly physicals, dental checkups, etc. That's work, too, and it's such a PITA that rich people hire Personal Assistants to keep track of that stuff for them and pay those PAs fairly big bucks.

[@ineedhoez]

Exactly... because you damn sure would pay a nanny

[@aba1design]

Story 2: When you get married you become partners through and through. There is no his or her money. Everything is shared. Too many people get married when they aren't ready to stop operating as a single person. Your partner comes at equal priority to yourself.

[@ineedhoez]

Amen. Amen. Amen.

[@janedoe885]

Story 1: I have a combination of medical conditions that make waking up a huge problem for me. Literally have an alarm clock that shakes the bed, flashes lights, and blasts sirens next to my head--and I know that I'm going to snooze it a few times before I wake up properly. I set my timers around that knowledge. Despite that, before I figured out what the medical issues were and started getting medicated even THAT wouldn't necessarily get me up. It felt like I'd been hit with a hammer. On the outside, if you didn't know what was going on, it might look like laziness but it's upset me for years. I genuinely tried for a long time with a variety of strategies and it was the most awful, humiliating, hopeless feeling to struggle anyway. So I do think YTA for that one tbh. Having gone through what I did, medical testing (sleep study can help sometimes but for me genetic and blood tests were what revealed the problem) was a huge deal both in terms of solving the problem and alleviating the stress of the situation. I also think Kaylie, AJ, and the mom should have been warned the night before at least. I'm glad the family seemed to develop a strategy afterward and I hope it works.

[@crystalmorgan8039]

First story: NTA! I'm totally with OP here. This is a habit she should have learned long ago. Instead of blaming him,they should be teaching her to get up on her own. It's a lesson long overdue. She should be glad it's just a day of school missed, versus her being older and say, missing a day of high school, where the consequences are not that severe. when she does go to college and flunks out because she can't get up on time, no professor will show her mercy if she says "my big brother didn't wake me." When she gets a job and sleeps in, she will miss a days pay, and in many jobs a no call,no show is an offense that leads to automatic firing, and the boss won't let you off the hook with "my big brother didn't wake me." It's a problem that needs to get nipped now.

[@dezmondrobinson4060]

Story2: Talk with the huesband, but once you're done with triying to talk it out, and it going nowhere don't hesitate to pull the trigger on a divorce, but try first!

[@knitwit9447]

I have medical problems that make it extremely difficult for me to wake up and stay awake. No one believed me for a long time. Maybe OP's sister doesn't have a medical problem, but waking up early for highschool as a teen is so fucking difficult, and I have sympathy regardless. Obviously OP isn't the asshole, the family is.

[@persephoneszeliga]

Story 1:NTA. Sister is old enough to wake up on her own. Jesus.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I had a horrible scare yesterday. My Granny was spending the day with us. I was checking on her in between my work while my mom and bro were out. I'd help her to the bathroom not even an hour prior. I went to my room to do a little work. I only planned to be a few minutes so I didn't take me phone. I come out and my Granny is nowhere to be seen, the car isn't there, there's no sign my mom's been there and there's music and water sounds coming from upstairs. I knock on the door upstairs and my brother has gone up to take a shower and my mom and Granny have left again in that little bit of time. She's a very elderly lady who has to walk with assistance. That was wild. But thankfully all was okay 😅

[@MarkNarrations]

ooo sounds like a panicky moment Andy, glad to hear all was good in the end though!

[@jennilynne1977]

Nice of them to let you know that they came back and your mum and granny were going out. Glad everything worked out ok in the end though.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I send hugs 💜💜🤗🤗

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@MarkNarrations Thank you! It definitely was!

[@AndyyWithAY]

@Jenni Thank you, They claim they called to me, but I have my fans on so they're loud.

[@TaraWrites]

I’m happy that OP and her husband have developed a more equitable system, but I agree with the comments on her update: she DOES deserve better still. Hopefully, they will get there one day.

[@Lestaticate]

Last Story: Think I heard this one before, but it’s a shame it took OP’s partner a pandemic & lockdown to see how hard OP busted her ass working from home, cleaning, AND raising his baby. OP HAPPILY signed a freaking prenup and homeboy was STILL scared about falling victim to gold digging? (Bruh.) Annoyed thoughts aside, I’m glad they’re working on their marriage together, with OP learning to stand up for herself and call out BS and her partner well, learning to actually be a partner. I just hope husbando is actually helping OP taking care of their kid and not just financially.

[@fionavanyel]

Story 1: Y'know, this kind of story always makes me a little sad. I'm in my early 30s with a CHRONIC issue waking up in the mornings. It often comes coupled with neurodivergence, and it's deeply shaming to the person experiencing it. I've tried everything to help, but half-asleep me is just a totally different beast to deal with, and she doesn't listen to internal logic, only external. Some people are wired differently and their bodies are inclined towards a nocturnal schedule. I just feel a little more understanding and compassion would go a long way. Should it be everyone else's problem? No, not unless they agree to it. But I also don't think it's too much to ask that people consider everyone is wired different, and this can be a monumentally hard task for some people.

[@superzooperhaze6597]

and seeing the responses to this calling her an AH filled me with unfettered RAGE man like seriously? not only fdo teenagers already have a different circadian rhythm, but neurodivergance AND trauma responses can all affect sleep

[@soogymoogi]

THIS! I've been diagnosed with DSPS and it was at its worst in my mid-late teens and early 20s, especially before I got on antipsychotics that conk me the fuck out when I take them. Fuck these guys. It's a seriously underdiagnosed disorder so even if she was evaluated if she wasn't evaluated by the right professional, they could have missed it. I only got my dx because I 1. Advocated for myself and knew the symptoms and 2. Went to a guy who I found out later is the east coast's circadian rhythm sleep disorder expert

[@mac2820]

THIS. As someone who has so much trouble getting to sleep and waking up who’s done and tried everything possible it’s always infuriating when people don’t seem to get that sometimes it’s not just as simple as “getting in a routine”. It’s not always about being lazy or not taking accountability for themselves. When I fully fall asleep I am dead to the world. I literally slept through a tree falling right next to our home and never woke up when I was little during a hurricane. I can sleep 20 hours dead sleep and wake up feeling like I never did or go days with hardly any sleep at all. There are SO many sleep related issue that to just instantly go to “lazy teenager needs to grow up” is just so dismissive. It may just be her relying on others but it very well may be related to something else going on and going to one doctor does t always mean it’s ruled out. Sadly many women and girls are dismissed and go undiagnosed

[@Kstanimal]

Yep, I am also almost 30 with the same condition, I literally don't even wake up to fire alarms. I have such massive sleep inertia that I will hurt myself by falling unless I give myself some time to wake up as well. It's not so easy. And it's really difficult to explain to people because they don't understand. It's like "oh they're just being lazy" no they're not. Unless you have this condition you won't understand it.

[@eradragon3090]

This! My half-asleep ND self is a nightmare. Add to that one of my meds for my physical disability cause extreme drowsiness. If I take it the day before i have to be up I have to secure a person to wake me.

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

Okay so, according to "Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker, PhD., The circadian rhythms in teenagers legitimately move later in the day. So while we adults yell at teens for being lazy and staying up too late, most of them legitimately CAN'T fall asleep in time. And then we send them to school at 7/8 am, when they've gotten like 4 hours of sleep. There's a reason Kaylie is having such a rough time, and it sounds like she's really been trying so it's not laziness. If it's not a sleep disorder, it's very likely because she's a sleep deprived teenager. They're going through puberty and literally are growing, physically and mentally, at rapid speeds. We're stunting that by making school so early that they're only getting a few hours of sleep. This affects memory attention, learning ability, and general mental and physical health (though this list isn't exhaustive). It makes you get sick more often, and makes your chances of developing bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, as well as other mental disorders, much much higher. (I shit you not - go read the book. It's freaking fascinating.) So, at least pre-update, it sounds like Kaylie is a sleep deprived teenager. But we as a society don't know how fucking serious that it. We chalk it up to laziness, not trying hard enough, but it sounds like Kaylie has been trying a lot of different solutions, like OP said in the post. I personally don't see anything wrong with the family helping her out, as long as she's able to get herself up and manage her time after high school. As long as they don't stunt their growth, then I see it as helpful because they're helping her be able to do general life things. This type of shit is debilitating. I went thru it myself. I'm not a doctor. I just have compassion, and I read a good book by an accredited doctor (as far as I've researched, anyway). I see her fam helping her out similar to giving someone accommodations for a disability. Again - as long as this doesn't make her reliant on them for everything later in life, and as long as it doesn't take away her ability to be independent in other ways at the moment.

[@oakenshadow6763]

She is 15 and can't wake herself up? This is bad. She might actually have a sleeping disorder or depression. This needs to be looked into. Additionally, the parentification of the older siblings is not okay. They should not have that burden. They were raising their younger sister for years. It's not fair to any of them that they didn't have a dad, but the sister isn't making it easier. Edit: I'm glad to see she stepped up. I'm glad AJ will finally have time for himself, and Kallie will not be babied anymore. I'm proud of this family.

[@GiordanDiodato]

I still think she has something wrong like hypothyroidism

[@platinum_noelle]

Bold of a millionaire heir to talk down at OP about "working for what you have".

[@MarkNarrations]

Hello my cheeky cheekies! Hope all is well today

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Have a good weekend 💜💜🤗🤗

[@carolsh1983]

Hope your day is lovely!

[@Sydney_With_A_Why]

Women stay in abusive situations because we are trained, indoctrinated from infancy to go along to get along, to conceded to men regardless of how sh*tty they are, and to always put others feelings first.

[@heathermcdougall8023]

No we are not! it hasn't been this way since the 1960's and definitely not since the late 20th century. I never conceded to boys at school , let a lone men, and everyone's feelings matter, mine included!

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@heathermcdougall8023 That's your experience. Other women have had different experiences depending on how their parents taught them and how the parents' parents taught them. It also depends on the area in which someone grows up. Another factor is the widespread acceptance of women working outside the home along with a total failure on the part of the men to do anything in the parenting and household maintenance departments. "Sure, my wife can work outside the home so we can have more money and I can have a bigger vehicle and buy more stuff for myself, but by all that's holy she's also going to do all the cleaning, cooking, childcare, laundry, diaper changing, reading to the kids, etc. because that's women's work and my balls will fall off if I ever use a dust cloth on a bookcase or end table or change a diaper. Then all the guys I know will make fun of me and I can't have that happen."

[@DoritoBot9000]

We are indeed conditioned, in every culture it seems, to try to not create conflict and please others. And if we don’t we are immediately chastised.

[@RO-ir1on]

I feel so bad for Story 2 OP 😓 I have been in a very similar situation, and I chose to leave because no conversation I had with him made him see how bad it was. The burnout from being a mom that is barely getting by is exhausting

[@civivva4501]

last story: OP is still in a bad marriage, now with another baby and she seems happy.

[@gigicat3943]

S1 - NTA - Sister is old enough to get up on her own and it's your mother's responsibility. However, if they ask again, tell them if she doesn't get up when her alarm rings, you'll throw a pail of cold water on her and then she's on her own!

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: Mom: parentifies AJ. AJ: parentifies OP Mom & AJ: gets mad when OP tries to parent in a good way... NTA if it's not clear. Momnis the biggest AH for parentification.

[@hollyberry0602]

I feel like in story 1, OP could've at least warned his sister he wouldn't be waking her. I sleep like the dead and am constantly tired, waking up early is near impossible for me. But if I know I need to be somewhere early and won't be woken up by anyone, I'll try SOMETHING more than just setting several alarms. Perhaps if Kaylie at least knew, she might not have been caught so off guard by not being woken up. Kinda bothers me a bit.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: NTA - Actually, YES, he should be paying you to be a mother, seeing as you were, at the time, basically a single parent with a room mate. He should also have been paying you for doing the loin's share of the household chores.

[@k.a.4522]

Mark, I am new to your channel and I, an asexual transman, have fallen in love with you. 😊 I am NOT hitting on you, just trying to express how much your genuineness, warmth and compassion have come to mean to me, very quickly. I try to live a life of integrity and honor, as well as compassion. As an ordained minister, when I physically and financially can, I help all who I encounter who need it. Unfortunately, my health is bad and my finances worse. So I guess what I am trying to say is thank you for your outreach and for the effort you put into presenting viewpoints that can help strangers to heal their lives. May you continue to walk in Light and Love for all. Kitt

[@ineedhoez]

You are not in love with him. You don't know him.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. Kaylee is more than old enough to get up on her own. Mom needs to tell her that when the alarm goes off, you get your butt up and out of bed. Don't go back to sleep, just get up and get on with the day. 2. I just don't understand married couples who don't share finances equally. Especially when one person makes so much more than the other.

[@podunk_woman]

"Boss knows I have a truck payment", lol. People get fired when they have truck payments, a mortgage, and kids to feed.

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Story #2: I'm petty and choose violence sometimes. I would have picked up a nice cast iron frying pan and smack him. I believe he's trying to get out of your marriage. What is he spending his money on? Pack up and leave!!

[@agentzapdos4960]

It's impossible for a healthy relationship to exist between a wealthy person and a person in poverty. It honestly should have the same social stigma as a schoolteacher raping their students. The power imbalance between a rich person and a poor person is so vast that true informed consent is impossible. It's literally just exploitation.

[@lostshadows768]

Story 1: As helpful as tips on "how to go to sleep earlier" might sound, they're probably not going to actually help her much. Yeah, she needs to learn to get herself up in the morning, but, unfortunately, teens are biologically wired to go to sleep late and get up later, in general. It's a pity school schedules ignore this.

[@Lisa-nm8ij]

And there are different biological clocks. The world is made for early birds, but a lot of people have to fight their circadian rhythm for that.

[@rebel1612]

So true.

[@Lisa-nm8ij]

Yeah, that's why the comment that was about "waking up at their usual time even on free days" made me a little angry. That person assumes anyone who struggles in the mornings is lazy but probably can't be as productive as "the owl type" in the evening or nights. Man, people are different from each other, a little empathy might help.

[@NovaGirl8]

No matter how early I sleep, I will still prefer to wake up at 10am. Sadly, society prefers early hours so I am forced to adjust as much as I can.

[@GiordanDiodato]

nah. it sounds like she has some kind of condition like hypothyroidism.

[@dianebraberry317]

Story 2: My husband and I used to split evenly. He did not see my struggle with my finance and I also didn’t. So one day we sat down and wrote all salary and what we were financing to the household. It was eye opener for both of us. Not only did he realise I really struggled with money and making ends meet but also I realised he had a lot on his plate too. We both apologised to each other with a newfound understanding and he would pass me more money to help me but I also made sure to keep account how much he had so I also knew not overstep things

[@TsukiKageTora]

It’s really sad that the mom in the first story parentified AJ so much so that he is having a hard time letting go of his responsibilities to his siblings even after his sister said she wants to step up and be responsible for waking herself up. Like that is so sad and the only AH here is the mom. Like I get it, being a single mom is tough. My mom handled it without relying on my older brother to be a second parent to his siblings

[@Siinwu]

yikes last story, he is still not taking accountability for his shitty behavior for years, and push blame onto his parents... OP is so blind... and they got another kid who also needs therapy in the long run. /smh.

[@agentzapdos4960]

This story is why it's dangerous for poor people to date above their economic class and exploitative for rich people to date below their class. The husband should be receiving the same level of social stigma as a literal pedophile. That's how vast the power imbalance is in a relationship between a Have and a Have-Not.

[@heathermiller5765]

*Story 1* : "She's still a kid" What?! SHE'S FIFTEEN! Definitely old enough to me. I've been waking myself up since middle school 🤨

[@ironman_546]

If you CAN’T get yourself out of bed, it’s not your fault. If she’s trying everything, she probably has sleep issues.

[@calynw5653]

For story 1, I have a hard time getting up in the morning, but also have a hard time falling asleep,which ties into me not being able to get up. A friend suggested that I may have idiopathic hypersomnia, but isn't sure since you need to be diagnosed by a professional but she recommended some ways to help with my going to sleep/waking up problem(she DOES have idiopathic hypersomnia, but doesn't want to assume because that may not be the case with me) love that girl to bits

[@devegas4910]

Story 1: I feel like ESH. Sure, op does for just deciding to teach her a lesson without warning anyone. But everyone else sucks here too. Kayley needs to learn a routine to get ready in the morning. AJ for babying kayley, and the mom for parentifying AJ. Story 2: this arrangement doesn’t make sense at all. And it made less sense once they got married, had a kid, MOVED TO A MORE EXPENSIVE HOME, and their incomes changed.

[@dancingonthe3dge]

Story 2: Op's husband asked if he's supposed to pay her to be a mother, yes the answer is yes. If your husband loved and respected you, you'd also have full access to household funds, he'd be saving for both of your retirement, etc etc... Its basic respect, in my opinion.

[@ineedhoez]

Yes.

[@maxrobertson2834]

My parents had to wake me up when I was 15. Teenagers sleep schedule are screwed up. Now as an adult, I am able to wake up on my self

[@shydog7276]

Story 1 OP wasn't wrong. 15 is plenty old enough to roll your butt out of bed. I'm happy for the OP and sister that she agreed she was old enough to get herself up and shouldn't be coddled/enabled by the eldest sibling anymore. I feel like the final consensus was OP only being wrong for not mentioning to the mom his sister was still sleeping at home was fair. Believing your kid vanished can be a world shattering feeling. But was perfectly in the right for not waking her up. Sister wants to step up and be more accountable, good on her. Eldest brother is moving out to start his own life, very good on him. I hope everything continues to work out for their family.

[@rachel-in-the-208]

Story 1 15 is NOT a “kid” - she is young but adulthood is vastly approaching! Bad habits just don’t flip a switch off when you turn 18

[@ukchanak]

"our marriage is private" is code for "i want to abuse you without anyone finding out." I've seen this in my friends marriages, and it's really sad.

[@princesssunshine874]

School is so terrible for teen sleep schedules. Me personally, I had a sleep disorder and this sounds like me.. If she was sleeping through her first and second class she may have a sleep issue. I have sleep problems and endometriosis. While I was kicked out of bed it could take a while and I had migraines the whole day. I still think your sister should get tested for a sleep disorder. Again, it could be because of her age .However, she seems to be the only one with serious sleep issues.

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: NTA she herself didn't ask, she herself isn't angry

[@samanthaw3845]

I used to have trouble with hitting snooze, too. (Still do sometimes when I’m really tired.) My solution is four alarms about 3-4 minutes apart. Even if I hit snooze on the first one (or even two), the alarms just keep going off and that gets me out of bed. I also change my alarm noise every couple weeks - one of my favorites is the audio from the beginning of Mass Effect 2, where Miranda is yelling at Shepard to wake up lol. That one always snaps me right out of bed, no need for extra alarms haha. I also occasionally set it as loud af sirens.

[@jonahhex18]

If you literally can't get up in the morning without assistance, that's usually a sign of executive dysfunction, which is usually related to a disability like ADHD or autism. I don't know if that's the case for story 1, but it certainly was the case for me. It took months of sleep training to fix the problem. Imo, op was definitely the ahole. The sister had already tried many methods of getting up on time that didn't work, why did he think just ignoring her would do any good?

[@drea4195]

Story 1 OP was being a big devious by not giving his sister and mom fair warning. Otherwise NTA. It is NOT on OP to participate in this (aptly labelled) enabling behavior. Seriously though, if she's sleeping in all the time like that, she needs to learn to get to bed a few hours earlier. It's part of the growing up process, and learning to become a responsible adult. She also needs to be held accountable for her own failures, not given a pass. Older brother has been parentified, and is now attempting to pass the torch to OP. Stand firm OP, and don't give in! Story 2: OP's husband sounds like he is not only entitled, but projecting his fears of "gold diggers" onto OP, who has done absolutely nothing to deserve this. Marriage counseling for certain. And no, it's not the life she "signed up for". They did move into a more expensive place, for one thing. If the "original agreement" made when they were 20 should be the standard, then she should be only required to pay the rent that she was paying at that time. They moved at HIS insistence. HE should pay the difference in the rent increase.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta I heard this one before. He's not her servant. Anyone who called op an ahole if the roles were reversed they would just say he's lazy.

[@uncutfandu3179]

Aaaah that’s the mark editing I remember and love, when you can see the verdict when he swipes down to the story from the title

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NAH, OP’s sister needs to learn the importance of waking up on time while she still has the luxury of being a kid! The sister isn't an entitled kid just a 15 yr old with crap sleep habits and was more embarrasseded that anything AJ was upset because he felt that he's sister dismissed his request and made their little sister miss school the mom freaked out because her kid missed the bus!

[@adelaideemiliem2772]

My brother has trouble getting up sometimes, and he asks me to wake him at 1:00-2:00 am if I’m still up. As nice as I give him is a “hey, get up!” After that he’s on his own.

[@SilverFalcon.]

The kid is 15yrs old, she's old enough to know to wake up when the alarm goes off. I've been waking up with the alarm at 9yrs old. Suggest getting her checked for sleeping so much Or make her go to bed at an earlier time. The college brother and mother are enabling her to continue this. Her brothers and mom aren't going to be around d her forever.

[@harrymiller7517]

Story 1, it wasn't just about the sister, but the mother and brother enabling her, they needed a wake up call even more than the girl did.

[@WolfgangDoW]

Story 1: immediate thought is has she been tested for sleep disorders? Or is it something like staying up too late The parents are the AH if they don't get her medically tested and just rely on AJ and say "it's ok" etc

[@DarkDragon1708]

I can't agree with those saying yta to op in the slightest. It should have been Aj's responsibility to warn the Mom. And OP outright said no, he would not do it. Not OP's fault or responsibility.

[@veezopolis]

No that's the entire point it SHOULDN'T be anyone other than the 15 year olds responsibility. Not AJs who the mom is taking advantage of, not the OP, only the person who is supposed to be getting up. The mom failed as a parent three times now

[@Natalie66796]

Op 1: I'm giving him a small YTA score. 1 - You were asked to do it 3 - You didn't message to say your sister was at home because you didn't wake her up

[@xCluelessChickx]

Ok, as someone who has a vibrating alarm clock, 100% recommend!!! It has helped so so so much.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

Story 1: my brother was like this. He would sleep through me knocking, alarm clocks, everything except me stealing his blankets. But he was a big guy, (tallest in the family) and would get aggressive towards me, the designated blanket stealer... so I just didn't. I'd give a half hearted tug, tell him in a level voice to wake up, then got ready for school. He missed the bus and my dad made him walk to school, and my mum was psycho about him being late. He woke up to his alarm after that. Edit to add I really like the pictures as the background. They're really pretty and calming

[@anotherone1532]

NTA, I use to do the same thing as a teenager. Then my dad and brother use to slap me awake when they heard the alarm. After a few times I woke up when I heard the alarm

[@telinhajp]

Hi, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you both an awesome day! ❤️🤗

[@MarkNarrations]

They there Telinha! Hope you have a wonderful day too :)

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

💜💜🤗🤗

[@Sunari]

Second story angered me - I think husband is too dumb and stubborn to realize it, but he basically called housekeeping and child raising a “hobby.” I don’t think he realized that’s where a lot of her leftover money after rent even went, wish she could’ve made him foot those bills more if he thinks they’re so extra.

[@johna6352]

Story 1: NTA...I'm very similar to Kaylie. Sleep through alarms, turn them off in my sleep, etc. It's not anyone elses responsibility to be my alarm. If I miss something, that's on me! At some point, she needs to learn to wake herself up...her mom and eldest brother can't be her keepers forever.

[@FableworldOutsider]

My sister asked me a few times to wake her up. I have zero energy in early mornings, so if turning the light on and yelling a little at her doesn't work, I am going to toss water on her. I did warn her the day before, but she only got three warnings. She always gets up on the second and rarely asks me to wake her because of my warning.

[@qnkendra1523]

second story- best line from the bad time of my young marriage- similar situation and I asked if he could chip in more for groceries because I just couldn't afford to buy new bras (nursing needed), buy diapers, pay my share of bills and supply the household with all the groceries. Him: "Well you chose to pay for the groceries by yourself". Yeah silly me thinking feeding the family was a necessary thing.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Honestly Kaylie may need to speak to a sleep specialist - it shouldn’t be that hard for someone to wake up on their own

[@dreamart3395]

Easy fix to sleeping sister in story 1 … each morning when it’s time for her to rise and shine just walk into her bedroom and dump a bucket of cold water on her. As you leave the bedroom tell her you’ll be back tomorrow. I bet you’ll only have to do this once.