My Dad Says I'm DISOWNED From The Family For Failing To Cater To My Brothers Needs r/Relationships

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

What a failure of a father. Failed to raise his sons to be functional adults. Treats his wife and daughter like crap. Etc.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. A perfect example of why you shouldn't spoil your children rotten.

[@immapotato1]

did OP mention her country? it sounds like a typical family in my shitty a*s south east asia

[@LunaMane]

And when his wife dies, and since OP wants nothing to do with him, his sons will send him to the first retirement home they can find and have his welfare checks deposited to them. Hope he's looking forward to his last miserable years.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@LunaMane Assuming his wife dies, she might just leave him, once and for all. There's also the possibility of her outliving him so I wouldn't rest on the one scenario. In any case, you're absolutely right about the boys dumping Dad in the first/cheapest retirement home they can find and then stealing money from him. That's probably going to happen and he deserves it for being such a terrible father and a horrible husband and just an awful person in general.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

He became his father. The father without a wife to wipe his arse and do his bidding. Father knows OPs big bro is a failure and is ANGRY op is independent successful and a decent human. He’s trying to drag op into the fold to care for his son

[@hothotheat3000]

The disowning is a massive gift. Take it and RUN.

[@christina1764]

Yep, and run fast...‼️

[@dominonine]

I could tell this from the title

[@KCohere33]

Story 1: “You’re disowned!” “Don’t threaten me with a good time!” Seriously, I don’t see any bad side except for maybe not seeing her mother. Also, wtf is wrong with the people on Reddit sending ugly PMs? Get a life! Story 2: I think the lady doth protests too much.

[@vanzy01]

😂

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Right?!

[@KDC256]

If I had (a) parent(s) who told me that I'd be disowned if I did _______ or didn't do _______, I'd respond with the longest pregnant pause possible...a two-weeks overdue pregnant pause!...and after The Final Jeopardy Music ends in my mind, I'd very casually ask, "Is that intended to be some type of punishment?" I guess I'm just the kind of person that basically gives zero effs with threats of disownment, especially if I'm independently self sufficient and not reliant upon someone...the less effect a disownment would have on me!!

[@lynnw7155]

Really; there's a family I would be happy to be disowed from.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Story 2: If you need to constantly brag and tell people how happy you are in your marriage, then you probably are not really happy. Amanda is not special for getting married at 21, tell your aunt to stop enabling her idiot daughter, if Amanda doesn't want to be yelled at, then she shouldn't go around critizising peoples life. After update: Congratulations for the baby OP! Aaand of course aunt blamed OP and not her daughters husband.

[@tracicolvis7382]

Yeah I've always felt the same. It's like who are you trying to convince, others or yourself?

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

Thing is this is so out of left field from the husband that I bet she sent the email to OP with exaggerating things her husband has said to make fake 'evidence' of a relationship between them. The timing is too suspect with how OP and him don't interact.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

By not working at any point in her life, Amanda is shooting herself in the foot. By the time she reaches the age to receive any Social Security benefits, she won’t have any to draw from. If you haven’t paid into the system with SS taxes, you don’t receive any money. She might receive her husband’s if doesn’t he live past her, but she has to have been married to him for 10+ years in order to receive…but she will be lucky if he doesn’t divorce her before then! Her attitude is almost a guarantee of that happening in the near future 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@Thegreatone-tx1yl]

You notice that in female prisons all the time. They start pretending to love it in hopes to be set free! 😂 I mean you really want house wife’s to be miserable don’t you? The overwhelming majority of them love it. 😂😂😂😊😊😊 enjoy being 50 and single!

[@Thegreatone-tx1yl]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 that’s why she’s married.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Of course the aunt is jealous of op and so is the cousin. OPs the actual charitable one and the cousin thinks she’s super special

[@miminana-hd6nf]

it sounds like the cousin's husband is not so happy with his wife, who wants to be a SAHM. I wonder, though, whether he ever had a decent discussion with her about the fact that she needed to do more with her life. Now, there is nothing wrong with being a SAHM, nothing wrong at all, but it seems like the cousin has lost herself in her goal to be the perfect wife, and mother, and is just playing a role now. I think the cousin's husband kept the newspaper clips of OP so that he could, at some point, show them to his wife to show her that she could be doing stuff like that and the right time just never presented itself. The cousin got ahead of herself, and her husband got fed up with it. Go, OP Congrats on your baby, and your impending marriage. It is possible to be a wife, mother and a career person. It is all in what you put into it.

[@kitsumekat]

@@miminana-hd6nf my guess that she's doing the opposite of being a housewife and her husband is getting tired of it.

[@Ravenishish]

I'd have been petty and asked the aunt that I thought that good wives know how to keep their husbands so why would she think her husband is flirting with me?

[@seleneyue]

@@miminana-hd6nf I think she might've been interesting once. I've dated men who were interesting at first but once we started dating, their whole personality because "doting boyfriend". Ffs I wanted an actual person, not a yes-man. Went from interesting conversations to "whatever you say, dear". I'm wondering if same thing happened here; the qualities that attracted him got pushed to the side in favor of what she *thought* he wanted.

[@Rankinen]

@@miminana-hd6nf Husband probably was fine with her being SAHM when kids were small but now they're at school most of the day and mom is just doing tiktok all day along. I don't think husband keeping articles about children's relative is weird (a good role model and something to brag about), different story if he had kept photos of her. Husband is also working so if his wife's words reach his coworkers, it is potentially embarrasing situation waiting to happen.

[@HubiKoshi]

Story 2: Happy people don't shit on others. Got a strong suspicion she isn't as happy as she pretends to be and tries to drag OP down to make herself feel better.

[@rachelguyer8447]

Pretty sure the husband finally realized that and was just sick of her shit. He probably hoped op would be a good influence on his wife.

[@lyregal5]

Yeah. Anyone expending that much energy to put others down is trying hard to make themselves feel better. I bet there are other times the husband made comments about other women they know doing great things and she took it to be a slight on her.

[@stephkais5613]

I have a strong suspicion that story 2 is creative writing

[@rachelguyer8447]

@@stephkais5613 does it matter?

[@stephkais5613]

@@rachelguyer8447 yeah

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

The mom is story one hasn’t been sheltered. She has been isolated and abused. Maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally and most likely financially. Abuse victims are usually gaslit into believing that they cannot and will not survive without their abusers. It is a sad fact that has kept many victims in abusive relationships. Also, I am sure that with the temper described here, the threat that he could turn violent has always lurked at the back of her mind. Even if only unconsciously. I hope OP can get her mom out. There is hope for a new life and light at the end of the tunnel after escaping abuse. No matter how old you are.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I hope OP can save her mom too. She deserves to be free along with her daughters. I know a lot of people say she's a spineless doormat or a spineless enabler, but I just don't see it here. For one, she doesn't agree with Garbage Dad spoiling his boys rotten, and she also tried to leave him in the past, but to no avail. Not to mention that she apologized to OP for everything that happened due to her being unable to leave. Now, I would totally get it if OP's mom did nothing except maybe whine about her situation or worse, she encouraged her husband, but she genuinely tried to leave and she doesn't agree with Sperm donor father's despicable behavior or him spoiling their good for nothing sons.

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Exactly! She isn’t showing doormat or enabler signs. She is showing signs of being a victim of long term abuse.

[@Knightoftheblacksky]

I wouldn't say the mother hasn't been abused physically. The OP says that it "wasn't always verbal or emotional abuse, but has never gone past verbal in the last decade" The implication I see is that up to about a decade ago there was physical abuse, which he stopped for some unstated reason. There isn't a threat that he could turn violent, There is a threat that he'll return to violence. If it isn't already, with OP not knowing because she is out of the house. With only her brothers and father living with her Mother there is a lot of things that could be done behind closed doors with OP being none the wiser. I also hope OP can get her mom out.

[@hugoumero9723]

@@Knightoftheblacksky nah OP can cut contracts with OP Mom for all i care she is an disgrace to all women and been an doormat and simp

[@ineedhoez]

Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Woman up. Get out. She could easily leave and live with her daughter.

[@nyteshayde1197]

Story 3: I love people who can laugh at themselves. "Cooter Cam" story is the best!

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

Story #1: Your father is a terrible person and your mother is an enabler. I know you love her, but you need to recognize that she IS weak and she has let you be abused for decades.

[@Callimo]

I think OP is aware of that. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's mom is way younger than her dad or grew up in a household where the women were always supposed to "stick by your man" no matter what and never questioned that. It takes a while for victims of abuse to peel themselves away from the dark normalcy of abuse. And if OP's mom lives with her or at least has OP close by to run to, she'll get away that much faster. Victims tend to be isolated by their abusers, so to have connections on the outside makes it easier to remove themselves from situations like that.

[@Vida7354]

​@@Callimo age doesnt have anything to do with it , my grandmother is olde than my grandfather and she lets him treat her like an personal slave , she always does everything under him , it's me and my mom usually are driving her to shop because he will be hurrying her up every damn minute , he won't even put his plate in sink , heck he won't even put food in his plate by himself ,if she is bussy/using toilet he will just sit at table and start slam his spoon/fork at table to let her know that "lord and savior" isnt pleased

[@Callimo]

@@Vida7354 So sorry about your grandma. But age Absolutely has everything to do with highly manipulative relationships. Usually relationships with large age gaps tend to favor the older person in terms of financial power, life experience, and well honed manipulation tactics. It's why a lot of these manosphere types tend to claim that women "lose value" at 30. Because usually 30 years old is when a woman is fully aware of the bs that surrounds her. usually. However, that is why I also added "raised in a family that strongly encourages women to always stand by their man". Make no mistake, there are plenty of women who have been socialized young to always cater to men that to not be single for long and stay married no matter what.

[@Elrewin59]

I don't think the mom is an enabler. OP made it pretty clear she's being abused, yet she still yelled at her husband and made it clear it was not okay.

[@VesnaVK]

​@@Elrewin59 so she yelled at him, so what did that accomplish? That is just what an enabler would do. That much and no more.

[@CryogenicFire]

"Cooter cam!" literally had me rolling! 😂 😂😂

[@constanzamarinaparadacasti7614]

I almost choked

[@scout2125]

Story 1: OP needs to go to HR and tell them NOT to hire her brother if he applies. She does not need that crazy to come into her workplace. He could ruin her reputation and cause drama and tell "funny" stories about OP that will make people talk.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Exactly!

[@natehill8069]

The job wasnt even at her company, that would have made a modicum of sense since she had sort of an "inside" there. ED wanted her to apply on behalf of her LA brother AT SOME OTHER COMPANY! I wonder if the next step is "OK, he got the job now quit yours and work his so he can start drawing pay! And dress like a guy so they cant tell its not him. And grow a mustache for pity's sake, your brother always wanted one!"

[@OrioleBeagle]

Story 1 Employers do not want to talk to your family members. They want to talk to the job candidate. Her father doesn't realize how bad it would look for her to call the employer for her brother.

[@joshb444]

Like, on Story 1... Here's the thing... What is their endgame on having OP fill out everything and make all the calls for him? If the brother can't make a phone call or fill out an online form on his own, how do they expect him to hold down a job? Surely they know his sister can't literally do his job for him, right? This is how useless, non-functioning man children are created...

[@oldwelshlady6584]

No. It said he worked in construction.

[@nilianstroy]

It's by design. Like on another similar story, this is just they preemptively excusing why Dale has no job.

[@VesnaVK]

Endgame is control. It's not necessarily about the specifics of this individual situation.

[@tallyp.7643]

The paranoid part of me thinks this is a low-key method for dad to bring OP down and make her as much a loser as the son. After all, if she goes to bat for someone so useless, that'll put a stink eye on her in some businesses and industries. Like "why are we trusting you when you're trying to pull strings to help this idiot get a job?" Of course, laziness and bullying are a big part, but I wonder if OP's just doing THAT well that it pisses him off so much. And with his misogyny, I'm sure he also thinks "heh, if this woman can do it, my awesome son could probably surpass her and get a promotion quickly!" I've seen folks act like that and it makes my head hurt to think it still happens today. Sheesh.

[@DoritoBot9000]

Now with the mom gone, the household will implode on those useless knuckle dragging idiots, lol.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

It's clear that Dale is Dad's golden child. It's also clear that OP is not the A-hole. I think getting disowned by Enabler Dad is a blessing in disguise. This is why you shouldn't spoil children rotten. (⁠٥⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠) After Update: Oh, classic misogyny. And Dad has untreated mental problems. I wish I could say I'm shocked, but I'm really not, at least when it comes to the misogyny. OP was right to give her sperm donor father the boot. Hopefully she can cut ties with him and his golden boy permanently. (⁠٥⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠)

[@memyselfandi7782]

Story 2: I'm happy for OP in story 2. It's OBVIOUS that they're fighting because she has some self image issues and has an issue with the image of other women accomplishing more and feeling happy. Obviously I think her mom made that image for her.

[@whims6278]

People like that hate other women and themselves. It's so gross and sad

[@Wander85942]

I know someone like this. Everyday she “blessed and grateful” her life is so amazing. That’s great but it’s shower tile. We didn’t need a whole paragraph .

[@Thegreatone-tx1yl]

The op hates men and wants to be one. You all do. House wives are the only women in the world who actually admire being a woman. You quasi Boy-girls hate yourself. It’s pathetic to be honest.

[@memyselfandi7782]

@@whims6278 VERY. She was probably taught that her behavior was acceptable too.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

The audacity of OP's father to think he can give orders to his 26-YEAR-OLD daughter. That man is a menace and he's the reason Dale has never learned to fend for himself.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 3: This is a cautionary tale about how one should NEVER record one's naked body.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Or just watch the *whole* video before sending it to others.

[@frankhubbardiv8711]

I just find it suspicious that she was naked in the backyard with the dog. Hopefully, I'm just cynical from too much internet.

[@MsMookalate]

@@frankhubbardiv8711that or you have the most extreme vanilla life

[@frankhubbardiv8711]

@MsMookalate I'm not vanilla, but the hint of dog loving is definitely too far.

[@Taecoconut]

Story 1: dad is abusive and mum is only there cos she is used to it. Cut your dad off and and just keep low contact with your mum in case you need to help her to leave your dad

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 3: So sorry for what happened to OP. That must be very embarrassing.

[@lauraanderson8785]

Story 2: Women who tear down other women like that infuriate me to no end. It's not that hard to keep your opinions to yourself, Amanda needs to respect OP's choices in life like OP respects hers. Being a housewife is not automatically better than being a career woman, like being a career woman isn't automatically better than being a housewife. Both are valid paths in life. Amanda needs to get over herself, she seems insecure.

[@25Erix]

Story 2: the cousin needs to learn that in this day and age, homes are two-income commitments because, unless you're making a lot of money or live with a tight budget, having a single-income household in the middle class isn't feasible.

[@Thegreatone-tx1yl]

That’s not a excuse for women to be masculine. That’s the underlying problem. The cousin is feminine, the OP is not. She will wind up alone because masculine women miserable people.

[@natehill8069]

Well, having a middle class life on one income while having 1 bedroom and bathroom per child, private school, 2+ cars, the latest iPhone for all family members, cruises every year, eating out all the time, subscribing to every entertainment service that exists isnt possible, except for Jeff Bezos. You just have to choose, do you want all that stuff or do you want one parent (either one) stay home and parent.

[@DoritoBot9000]

@@natehill8069 yeah!better live off grid in shack in the woods and avoid participating in society! Having basic commodities in life is overrated anyways.

[@tallyp.7643]

She's got a super-privileged start for a housewife. Had she been married to some basic office worker, she'd be complaining up a storm at how he doesn't provide. But he has his own successful business. Women who marry guys who don't have that kind of setup will scrimp and save and often go back to work once kids are old enough to pad the ever-increasing expenses.

[@katwiltz1134]

Nature on to and your cousin know that you feel like you want to be your cousin just like throwing up in your mouth always makes you feel better

[@davidovic20]

Story 1: what the heck kind of bass-ackwards kind of misogyny is this?!? How does the dad justify making the YOUNGER SISTER do the heavy lifting with her mother? She has to “rise above” and be her best while the sons fail to launch? I just can’t wrap my head around such stupidity. Like, WTF? I didn’t realize having a wiener made it impossible to get off his lazy ass! 😅

[@jenniferkay9789]

It's apparently, a kickstand, that if it gets kicked out from under him, he can't stay balanced!🙄

[@pinklemonade8320]

It's very inefficient misogyny, because his daughters are all successful and his sons are set up to be failures forever.

[@ninirossau2304]

sorry, failure to launch means something very different to me. so that made me laugh, they probably cant get a woman anyway.

[@kitsumekat]

@@ninirossau2304 I was thinking the same thing too.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

They are “men” in name only! They don’t want to do the manly work that that name entails

[@75SuperMario]

Lol, some of the rules for being a tradwife are forgotten. 1. Knowing when to shut-up 2. Minding your own business 3. Not embarrassing your husband (publicly) Got a good laugh when the husband reach out and said as much, though I think he crossed the line. The whole grass looks greener on the other side.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

It probably won’t be long before he starts looking for another woman to play with since he finds his wife “boring”. Then if that happens, it gonna make her look even worse cause she honestly thinks that she’s such a great wife, he wouldn’t cheat on her!

[@brendacarter4968]

🤮to those rules never, ever for me

[@owl7072]

Story 2: It really is so astonishing how women like her will say that stuff when the only reason she even has that choice to begin with is because the same women she's bashing fought for it. Like, honey it's great you enjoy that, but I'm pretty certain you only enjoy it cause it was a choice _you_ made for _yourself_ rather than one that was forced on you by others cause they think you're incapable of doing literally anything else and then treat you like shit for it in the process. Edit: Amanda: If your partner cheats, you probably did something wrong Her husband: Her blaming Op:

[@Iflie]

It's always the overcompensating that shows what they are really thinking. She probably complained about Op so much to her husband that he started to think about her as the grass is greener. Love comes from admiration, it's hard to admire a partner so obviously jealous and dependant. I doubt husband is in love with Op or looking to cheat as he never even talked to her in years before that but he has build her up in his mind as the anti-his wife. All the things he can't have.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

This is soooo TRUE! Such an ungrateful woman!

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: I didn't think that the fact that Jerry kept the news article was creepy until he said he was swooned by OP. I know people who keep news articles for everyone in their family and I could picture him keeping it to show his kids, "look what your cousin did, that's pretty selfless" or whatever. Maybe he is just socially awkward but the swooning and yelling at his wife makes it sound otherwise.

[@strandedinseattle9931]

He wishes his wife were more like OP (helping charitable causes first hand), not that his wife WAS op. I don't think it was creepy, just worded awkward while expressing something to someone he doesn't normally talk to. I think he wishes his wife had more of a personality and life rather than coming home to a mundane June Cleaver every night.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Yes and she sounds boring. The OP actually does things to better her town and the people in it!

[@drea4195]

It made me wonder if he maybe has been talking about OP and building her up to his wife as some sort of comparison, " Look honey, your cousin did this great thing. Why don't you..." I mean, maybe it's just innocent and he simply admires OP, but maybe there's more going on behind the scenes so to speak. It would explain why OP's cousin feels the need to brag about herself on social media and put OP down. Husband could be feeding her insecurities this way. It does not sound like a healthy marriage/family dynamic at all.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Maybe he was trying to convey he was in awe of her…for all the things she does to help others less fortunate. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Amanda can keep saying her husband won’t cheat on her because she’s such a good wife, but chances are he’s getting to the point…he even states he finds her boring. If he finds you boring, he’s going to go find someone who revs his motor!

[@jmjedi923]

My dad kept an article of my aunt so I could see that. The swooned thing is definitely weird though

[@DarkwaveMistress]

Story 2 is a perfect example of you get what you deserve.

[@carlrood4457]

OP should get together with her, husband, sisters, and any SO's of her sisters and come up with a plan the help/support their mom if she decides to get out.

[@bunnyslippers191]

My only issue with the cooter cam is that she didn't video her vagina, she videoed her vulva. The vagina is internal. What shows on the outside is the vulva.

[@akl2k7]

@@bunnyslippers191 Wrong story.

[@bettybell63]

Why would you want your lazy brother working at the same company as you are currently? It would only make you look bad.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Exactly! My boss is always asking me if I know anyone who needs a job and I say no…cause everybody I know who needs one is lazy and unreliable! Nobody wants to work anymore!!

[@carolroberts4614]

I don't think it was her company, she said a company.

[@bettybell63]

It doesn't matter whose company it is if you know he's not going to be a good employee it will still make you look bad. You will be asked why you recommend him.

[@Frostfern94]

@@bettybell63 Thankfully she DIDN'T recommend him. Only asked if there were free jobs, no mention of him at all. Praise be OP

[@Frostfern94]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 My boss is doing that too and I say no bc anyone that COULD work, either wouldn't want to or I wouldn't want them to.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 1: OP is the younger sibling with a Master's and no help from family. Cutting her off isn't a punishment, it's a blessing. If this guy can't do the basic minimum to apply for a job, which kids straight out of high school can do, no employer is going to want him.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S2: working for your husband is so much better...until he fires you for a younger model. Why do you have any contact with her at all, or most of the family? She sounds like she's projecting her regrets onto OP.

[@dm9078]

She says mom is staying out of it. No she isn’t. Neutrality in the face of oppression is siding with the oppressor. NTA but she should have gone NC with these people long ago. She’s jealous! Way to go OP! Of course they watched it. But has she no bathing suits? 😂

[@LilFeralGangrel]

i mean the mom is a victim of narcissistic abuse just like her daughter is.

[@Frostfern94]

I don't have any bathing suits either so I wouldn't blame OP, any I find that MIGHT fit are... WAAAYY too expensive

[@AIBot929]

S1: Nta, Um don't threaten me with a good time, would have been my response s2: I'd cuss her out too, cuz mind ya business, nobody cares that you're married, and what is she going to do if her husband dies? She has no back up plans here. Well after the edit, that is hilarious 😂, the cousin is jealous of OP, and I would be creeped out by the email but now we see that Amanda is insecure

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

I'll be damned if anyone is gonna sit there and call me a whore, especially in front of my family. They'd be leaving the family gathering with a swollen lip and a new asshole. Seriously, wtf is wrong with Amanda?

[@skyelinkhyrule5715]

Story 1: Typical Golden manchild. And does bipolar disorder come with narcissism?😮‍💨🙄 Story 2: Jerry having a newspaper about OP helping out homeless and poor people on Christmas and amazed by how hard working she is? That's not creepy at all. He wants his wife (OP's cousin) to actually do something that would benefit her instead of living in the 1950s and stop looking down on OP. Honestly, I think the cousin is just jealous and bitter on the inside.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Yea, instead of using the word swoon,he should have said in awe of

[@brendacarter4968]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 yeah, vs swooned = be emotionally affected by someone or something that one admires. Could've just picked wrong word...I hope

[@DaniS398]

Lmao! Cooter cam! Reminds me of the time I accidentally invited friends, family andcsome co-workers to a bdsm/boudoir themed masquerade ball because all I saw was "masquerade" and thought "dress up time" ....didn't bother reading the event description until later. I told my hubby we had to move to Alaska after that.

[@miaposamarie226]

Story 2. I hate those bully women. I grew up around them in my small shit hole town. Usually those bullies are envious and scared of their fragile position in life so they project that fear to others. Turns out she is a useless bitter house wife, like they usually are.

[@Azulakayes]

It steams from low self-esteem.

[@WyntheRogue]

Agreed,if it makes you happy,strive for a career. If you wanna be a stay at home spouse,that's fine too, just great googly moogly don't be a dick about it. I blame backwards societal BS that pits people against one another like this [In this case,pitting women against one another.] OP's cousin sounds like she regurgitates everything said by problematic influencers like Transformed Wife [ do not like that woman]

[@miaposamarie226]

@@WyntheRogue the happiest housewives usually just brag and gush about their kids and family without putting others down. They are adorable to be around. My aunt was one of these people and she and her husband used to give free marriage advice in church or volunteer work. And yeah society pits people against each other. It is shocking to me that her cousin blames her for her husband's creepy behavior instead of him.

[@damien678]

The skills of a housewife aren't useless, but they might honestly feel useless, or be more of a trophy wife. But yeah, they're definitely green with jealousy

[@WyntheRogue]

@@miaposamarie226 Now that's how you do it! Again, no shame in being a stay at home spouse obvi if one chooses to do so however one should definitely not be a jerk to those who may choose a different path of happiness. :) That said, when I was a kid one of the ladies at my grandpa's church who was one brought a lovely pasta bake to the house when mum was sick at the hospital since dad had to work late that night.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

In my opinion there’s not enough job security in the stay at home parent/homemaker role for it to be something I would consider. I grew up with a lot of financial insecurity so it would make me far to anxious to put all my trust in a partner to carry the team like that. My wife has a similar mindset.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

She will regret when she reaches that magical “65” number and there’s no social security for her!

[@Revelwoodie]

I'm a housewife. And I wish more people would consider what you just pointed out. It's a HUGE risk. But there's so much of this "tradwife" propaganda on social media now, glamourizing it as a "lifestyle," that many young women leap into that decision without any real idea of what it means. There's even a "stay-at-home-girlfriend" thing going on now. Like...what are you going to do when you break up, and you can't get a job because you haven't worked since high school? Move back in with your parents? SMH...

[@damien678]

I mean, if the breadwinner is a tradie like a plumber I could definitely understand feeling secure, but in general? Yeah

[@CircusoftheMoon]

@@damien678 I was referring to the lack of job security being that ~50% of marriages end in divorce. The breadwinner partner could “fire” you at any time.

[@damien678]

@@CircusoftheMoon oooooooohhh ok, yeah

[@KittyWillCutYou]

Story2: Cousin is an obnoxious Trad-wife, but you can tell OP has some sore spots. Personally, I would go no contact with that cousin. She's disrespectful, arrogant, and honestly kind of deluional in regards to marriage statistics.

[@pinklemonade8320]

Sore spots? Like she's too sensitive? Because to be honest she seems a lot more patient than me!

[@KittyWillCutYou]

@@pinklemonade8320 Not...too sensitive, but OP needs to recognize that Cousin is only doing what they're doing because they know what they're saying does bother OP a little. But they're still interacting with their cousin...which doesn't make sense to me. Any grown person that picks at your sore spots for fun itsn't worth having in your life. They need to have a serious conversation. The 'cut it out or I will cut you off' kind and if they don't I would cut them off. They'd be invisible to me...or dead.

[@anndownsouth5070]

Cooter cam story. A few years ago, a lady somewhere here in South Africa did something similar. She had gone for a bikini wax and all(or did it herself). She then took a photo to send to her hubby with a sort of naughty message. Unfortunately for her, she accidentally sent it to a parent group at her kid's school. The story made the papers.

[@poohbear4515]

S1: Seriously, he thinks kicking OP out of his life is the worst thing imaginable? It’s literally the best thing that has ever happened to her. Why would she bow down and serve her “lord and master”, his golden-d-ck son? OP is far more able to be a real adult since her brother has been catered to all his life. He’s basically a grown-ass baby because daddy gets him whatever he wants. Daddy won’t tell him no. Daddy allows him to be an asshole because he has balls and women are inferior towards him. Seriously, I wouldn’t even call him a “dad”, or a “parent”.

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

S2: the people who are emotionally fulfilled and satisfied with their lives usually aren’t the ones who feel the need to put down others and elevate themselves. The cousin’s behavior screamed “I’m unhappy with my marriage and I’ll take it out on other women so I don’t have to face that my life isn’t how I want it to be, because this SHOULD make me happy.” It presents the issue of enforcing that women MUST all be a certain way: women who think marriage and kids should be emotionally fulfilling all on their own are bound to be disappointed when they have no identity beyond those things. Nothing is wrong with being a SAH wife with children of course, but it’s simply not healthy to pour your entire self worth into other people, even if those people are your children or your spouse.

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

You could post a story about how you stubbed your toe on Reddit and there'd be people calling, "FAKE! FAKE!!!"

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Yep! Why is so hard for people to believe that these stories could be true? Just because it doesn’t happen to your life or anybody around you, doesn’t mean that it hasn’t happened in somebody else’s 🤷🏼‍♀️ There is life outside your little bubble of a world!

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 I could understand of the story was actually too crazy to believe, but what happened here that sounded so unrealistic? "My brother's a lazy spoiled brat and my dad is a sexist dick who enables him"? THAT'S people's definition of an unbelievable story? Either they're sheltered as hell, or they're spoiled sexist dicks themselves who don't like being called out.

[@BenKonosky]

My two guy best friends said they didn't watch it. Sure they didn't...

[@tomeeshahaller4226]

The only times saying, "Just fucking do it!", to someone is justified if you're watching someone playing a horror game or a horror movie.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 2: If not for the context of his wife being the way she is I might find that creepy, but with that context I can't blame the guy for feeling the way he does.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Maybe he keeps them to look at and regrets marrying a woman who looks down her nose at women who choose to actually do something worthwhile with their lives. I think he just used the wrong word when he told her about them. He should have said he was in awe of all she’s done to help the less fortunate. But I can sympathize cause I sometimes can’t find the right word/s to convey what I want to say. 😉

[@rf159a]

Story 2: I think Jerry wishes his wife was more like OP. He's probably tired of how shallow she is!!

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The first story: sounds like a case of the golden child, who was coddled his entire life, is now an overgrown man baby with no life skills, no motivation, no dignity and expects the whole world to bend over backwards for him. How do I know? My brother was just like this. He got everything he wanted because he was the jock. He was put on a pedestal. Because my parents spoiled him, he had no respect for boundaries, zero comprehension of the word no (or that it's often a complete sentence) and nothing resembling accountability. Therefore, he had no expectation whatsoever of there being consequences or reprisals for his behavior. My parents, naturally, expected me to be my brother's keeper. It should come as no surprise whatsoever there's no reasoning with someone who doesn't want to be kept. He always gravitated towards the troublemakers and unsavory types. It may sound like a tired old cliche, but my brother was the classic bully in all of his friends made my life a living hell when we were in school. It's also worth pointing out, this led to us not being close at all and I did everything I could to put distance between us. By the time they started putting their foot down, he was a very strong willed teenager with the hole “I'm a man” mentality. My parents were at their wit's end as they racked their brains on what to do with the monster they had created. Being the stereotypical beta masquerading as an alpha, my brother always ran to my parents whenever he got in trouble at school or with the law. It was a huge shock That he didn't receive the same mollycoddling he received from our parents. It should come as no surprise whatsoever that he never wised up and realized that he was the source of all his problems. It should also come as no surprise, that he carried his overwhelming arrogant sense of entitlement well into his adult life. When it was discovered he had a drug problem, my dad cut him off. After our father passed away from lung cancer, my mom took over babying him. He ended up with a very extensive criminal record and Mom picked up the tab every time he got arrested. By the time he was 40 he had already gone through 10 cars and she cosigned on his last one. Crazy, isn't it? When I pointed out that she was just enabling him, she had the nerve to say and I quote: “He's my son!” She went on to say something along the lines of how I didn't have kids and I don't understand what parents go through. As if my opinion is completely nullified and I don't have common sense or can't see the forest for the trees because I never created a life that never asked to be born. I can't stand that backwards logic. I responded to Mom that I was also her kid, that she always played favorites with him, (surprisingly she didn't deny it) and asked her if she remembered who I was. This didn't go over well and she accurately called me petty and spiteful. To make an already long story much shorter, my brother's drug habit got the better of him and he passed away right before Thanksgiving 2022. I've found it very hard to grieve because I saw it coming. Just when I thought he couldn't sink any lower he went and found a sub basement. It's very hard to shed tears over someone whose selfish, unprincipled behavior ruined so many lives.

[@warrirornunluv801]

Story one: what’s the dad worried about? He finally got rid of his daughters to spend time with his sons who may or may not let him die slowly when he gets to old age.

[@tallyp.7643]

Could go that way, or they could just be stupid enough to "kill the golden goose" and burn through the inheritance money, especially if he starts in on THEM for their behavior at some point. And if his mental condition gets worse and he becomes more forgetful than violent, they might throw him in the cheapest nursing home they can find.

[@83gemm]

Um… I think OP is totally right to find it creepy that the husband kept those articles and told his wife she’d never be as good as OP because OP has next to no relationship with him. That would weird me right out too.

[@jay2thaudy]

Lmaooooo I love it. Trad wife was jelly because she knew hubby has wandering eyes 😭🤣

[@juliearmfield2634]

Why is a husband having a wondering eye funny?

[@totallynotalpharius2283]

@@juliearmfield2634it’s only funny cause the stuck up conservative prude TrAd wIfE got owned

[@jgw5491]

@@juliearmfield2634 Because it means her perfect life is built on sand and karma will probably bite this unlikable woman hard one of these days. And being the "perfect" wife she brags of being won't save her from it.

[@immortalsofar5314]

To quote my GF - I'm taken, not dead.

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@jgw5491 it's sad that you find so much joy in someone else's pain. When that is what brings someone such joy it really speaks volumes about them.

[@thevoidismyhome7242]

Story 2: How you can tell Amanda isn't happy in her life is she feels the need to attack OP, who *is* happy in her life. People who are content or happy with their lives don't feel the need to attack others for choices, and it's clear with OP who doesn't see anything wrong with Amanda or her own life and doesn't attack unless attacked is happy/content.

[@lindaomoefe4156]

Mark, you crack me up each time. That last story😂😂😂😂 "for the love of waffles".

[@hot_soup4319]

That last story: Yeaaaah, thats not gonna blow over lol. Sending an accidental vid of the mouth downstairs is something that will be joked about constantly and until you're cold in the ground lol.

[@nareegreel]

Story 1: OPs mom is weak. Watching your children get abused because you don't know how, is not an excuse. Op loves her mom and won't see it that way. I hope she cut that family off and get therapy.

[@MikkosFree]

Just some personal thoughts on story 2. My grandfather was a wealthy man. Because of this, plenty of people from the family and extended family often came around looking for favors, ie, a loan. Now my grandpa was a generous person, but he wasn't a fool. He would keep news or gossip about the extended family, making a list of people he wants to genuinely help, and those where he would extend the bare minimum. When a distant cousin graduated Suma cum Laude, he kept the newspaper clipping of her name being announced. This was his way of taking note that if she ever needed help in the future, he would go above an beyond to provide it. He did this for several people. I remember for a month after, all he could say was how proud he was of her, and how we (younger grandkids) needed to look up to her as an example. Same thing happened with an aunt who he helped get a job, being named employee of the year at her workplace. I believe Jerry could be like this. He kept that article of OP because he was genuinely impressed.

[@imajinallthepurple]

Omg, that last story made me laugh so much. Thanks, I needed that today. 😂

[@TifSC]

Story 1: I went from my parents house to my ex's house and never lived on my own. I was finally able to left my abusive ex a few years ago, and now live , with my kids, looking after everything as the adult in the house. It was hard, but doable. I'd recommend OP's mother does her research on what she'll need for living alone and get it all ready. I had a secret online notebook for keeping everything organised and that included details of abuse in case I needed a restraining order.

[@minisnakali]

Are they INSANE? How do people act like this I genuinely can't comprehend what world they live in. OP is not their brothers keeper!

[@cjwilliams8350]

Story 1: Dad "I disown you and never want to see you again!" OP "Thank you Dad, I've been waiting for this good news for years!"

[@annienunyabiz6627]

Story 1: I wish people would learn that in situations of DA, no, moving out is NOT just easy. They often have no support system, no job skills, no money saved up, and a plethora of anxieties keeping them trapped. Please, please, please don't ever look down on or blame a person who is in an abusive relationship for not "just leaving." Not everyone has the option.

[@susanlayton2143]

Story 1: On what planet could OP ever be considered TA? Just because she wouldn't do everything for a GROWN MAN, she was called an AH? Sounds to me like Dad and big brother need to get a grip.

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, so many of these stories should be in r/relationships or r/trueoffmychest instead of r/aita. If any sane person wouldn't see you at TAH, then maybe don't clog up a subreddit for that. Then again, some people do end up pretty screwed up mentally because of how they're raised.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 2: Congratulations to OP on the pregnancy news and the engagement.🎉🎉

[@rebekahlowe4288]

The dad calling her unmotivated (read lazy) and stupid for not doing a simple task for her brother is rich. I would've had to have been like, " do you get the irony of you calling me lazy and stupid for not doing a simple task that takes no work for my brother because he refuses to..now, tell me dad.. who is being unmotivated and stupid again?" Mic drop 🎤

[@Rankinen]

Story 2: Sounds to me that Amanda's husband was fine with her being stay at home mom while kids were small but now they are school most of the day and she is just home lazying around. I also wouldn't read too much about articles, if she is only one around him who has ever been in paper it might be something he wants to keep around (maybe to encourage his kids?). Or I'm wrong and he has crush on OP. But that's not OP's problem, she should just concentrate on her growing family.

[@redqueeen2950]

Yepp. My mom does this, has cut out little articles with family or friends mentioned and usually hang on the fridge. Or give it too them in the case they missed it. Even done so of my friends when we were younger to show me. He might have worded it weird tho

[@bc6193]

Being disowned is better than being part of this toxic family. Being disowned is a blessing in disguise!! Time to go NC.

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 1: And the net negative is what? Sounds like a win to me.

[@runswithbullshit]

If the hiring manager didn't have an assistant to take their calls and schedule appointments, wouldn't they look down on someone who clearly had someone else call to make an appointment? It kind of shows a lack of desire to get the job.

[@Russman67]

A massive disappointment, unmotivated and stupid. He said that to someone who's employed with a graduate degree. 🤦‍♂️ The level of audacity has reached toxic. I think being disowned by this family is a blessing. Run with it!

[@oldwelshlady6584]

All the things dad said to daughter he really wanted to say to his son.

[@allisonshaw9341]

Story 1: NTAH. OP should cut these people out of her life and strive for her own success and happiness. If her mom wants out of the house, then help her get on her feet. With Dad's mental state, I'm concerned that he might do her harm. She should leave now - OP and her sisters can help their mom learn how to take care of herself as well as protect her from OP's father and brothers. Story 2: OP's sister is probably jealous that OP is her own woman in control of her own life. And yes, Cousin needed to be told to shut up as she is being extremely disrespectful to OP. Her life IS shallow and she is boring. I wish OP well in her life, marriage, and motherhood.

[@GoCoyote]

That last one had me cracking up. Life offers endless opportunities to embarrass ourselves, the trick is to try and limit ourselves to the best ones, and that was good one!

[@samauraipc16]

Hearing ppl say it is fake. Like dude growing up you see alot of things especially with friends and their families. Ppl don't know what's going on behind closed doors. We should just be nice to one another and keep a close eye on yhe ones who are always super happy. Learned that the hard way

[@heathermiller5765]

I hate to make requests but I'll throw this idea out there. Could you please do more funny stories? Love hearing you laugh, it's so infectious, and the stories give us all a chuckle as well I'm sure. Just a thought 😁

[@damien678]

I second this, I'd love more laughs from Mark and funny stories

[@lesleygreen273]

1st story, next time your Dad calls tell him thanks for the offer to disown and i have decided to accept. Speak with your husband about moving to a new address if poss and change your phone numbers. You may wish to consider asking you mum along and help her with divorcing if that's what she wants - ensure any contact with her husband is via a lawyer. Good luck.

[@condorboss3339]

Story 1: I doubt Dale could actually hold a job. He'd probably get an exit interview before the probationary period expired.

[@yagnikbose8973]

The mother's realisation in story 1 and her regret that she should have taken her kids out of that abusive life and saving their childhood, is just very sad. I hope they get out of their difficult circumstances.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Definitely NTA. It's OP's life. She might have been gone too far(I don't think she went too far at all, I'm only saying so because I have a feeling that the Holier than thou police may come crawling out of the woodwork), but her cousin is practically judging OP harshly because she didn't choose the same seemingly glamorous life that she has. Also, I wish people would stop misunderstanding the term feminism and that society would stop seeing women as nothing more than wives and mothers. It's nice to have a man, married or not, but you don't need a man to be happy or successful. Plus cheating is not the fault of the betrayed partner. Nor is it their job to keep them from straying. You should definitely work on the marriage, but it doesn't mean being a spineless doormat or being something that you're not. And I agree with you Mark. It's fine to occasionally share your happy life, but I feel like if you have to constantly post your happy life, then the happy life you're leading is fake. After Update: I think it's time for OP to cut ties with cousin and aunt. They clearly have some serious issues and they're just so toxic overall. (⁠٥⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠) On a positive note though, I'm so happy for OP. 😊 Congratulations on the unexpected pregnancy and the engagement! ❤ Now THAT'S a happy life I can get behind! (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

[@pinklemonade8320]

"The Holier Than Thou Police"😂I needed to learn this term. Exactly, I'm baffled at the people saying that OP is just as bad as the cousin. Constantly bashing every other woman's lifestyle 24/7 on tiktok =! Telling the person doing that to stop.

[@LostCause-69]

Amanda needs to be told that a lot of perfect housewives get cheated on and that she has hurt herself by being so reliant on her husband to support her.

[@brandi5126]

S2: NTA. Why can she be a b* about your lifestyle but gets mad when you serve her the same?

[@AryonaSamoto]

I agree with you Mark, dancing right out of the shower is great🤗 naked dancing in the privacy of your home is really uplifting🙌

[@unicornjennie]

S2 NTA Amanda is not the typical SAHM. She's not happy she's jealous and pathetic. Do not apologize She's going to be the typical resentful divorcee.

[@nilianstroy]

The Dales from reddit are the ones attacking OP. They hate when their kind are outted.

[@lindak8664]

Don’t know whats better. The smiling golden retriever, the baby duck managing to step over the giant garden hose or the cooter-cam! 😂🤣😂

[@rylashadow18]

S1) His failure of a son isn't your responsibility. Is this a company you work for OP? If so and brother's a poor/ lazy/ incompetent worker it'll reflect back on you. Your brother needs to be the one to call companies, set up interviews and show interest. Your enabling dad and his failure to launch son want to disown you for not being a willing servant? Sounds like a plan. OP keep him on silent. He's realizing his failure is coming back on him ten fold. He knows he can't keep his mooching no good failure reliant on him so now he's looking to pass the buck to you so to speak. S2) I think she's just jealous. Jealous that all she amounts to is being a house wife. She sees other succeeding at their careers, their goals and their lives and is bitter. Dear lord OP let your mom have it. Let her know that by asking you such a question it makes it come across as if she's choosing Amanda and your aunt. That you only have one person you want to be with who happens to be your boyfriend. That her actions here and now have solidified your desire to not only cut Amanda but your aunt out as well. Tell her of the pregnancy and the wedding and let her know that none of them will have any part of it nor your future. Amanda's husband's regrets for marrying someone whose of the type like your cousin is on no concern of yours nor your care. Fire off one email with your future hubby CC'd telling Amanda's husband that you're getting married. Any and all further contact is to cease and desist or be met with a lawyers letter making it illegal to contact you. You don't care nor want to interfere with, have any business with or be in any situation where their failing relationship is being put on you. To tell Amanda as well as her mom that you're done with them. Block her, her husband, your aunt and put your mom on LC.

[@michamocha]

Story 2: I just know the cousin is going to be _losing_ it when she finds out that not only is Op engaged but she's pregnant too. On one hand, it would sound amusing but on the other, she'll most likely get worse with her bs. I doubt that she'll learn her lesson here or have an epiphany since people like her tend to continue projecting their misery onto others.

[@callumn2111]

Story 2: OP should use Amanda's words against her that if husband is cheating, its because the wife isnt pleasing him.

[@trippinggauntlet4520]

He's cheating because that's who he is, dishonest, untrustworthy and a liar. That you blame someone else for his actions makes me think this is the same excuse you use for doing the same thing. Guess it sucks to be a manipulative betrayer huh callum

[@kitsumekat]

@@trippinggauntlet4520 Except Amanda threw it in OP's face that she was the reason why her boyfriends cheated on her. So, by Amanda's logic, it's her fault if Jerry cheats on her.

[@trippinggauntlet4520]

@@kitsumekat That's what manipulative narcissists do, convince the victim its their fault. "You made me do it"

[@kitsumekat]

@@trippinggauntlet4520 wouldn't that make Amanda a manipulative narc as well?

[@trippinggauntlet4520]

@@kitsumekat if you can't grasp the difference, I won't fight an unarmed person.

[@Amelia073]

Never see dad and bro again! Sounds like a win to me!

[@holyek7892]

Disowned? Don't threaten me with a good time!

[@Nerdificent]

Story 1: If Dale can't schedule is own dam interview how employable is he?

[@lasmirandadennsiewillja9435]

The last one reminds me of that one time when I uploaded a longer video of one of my sneks being cute to a (fortunately) not that big subreddit, it took forever to upload, and I watched it again after a while before the upload was complete. And realized there was an envelope visible for several seconds that showed our complete address, with my full name. Just then, the upload had finished and I never deleted something I posted online so fast. Moral of the story: 1. we all screw up every now and then and we live much happier, funnier lives if we do it like OOP and poke fun at ourselves over our minor screw-ups (that don't hurt a third party). 2. ALWAYS triple-check video footage before you share it, no matter with whom or where. As impossible as it sounds, there are worse things to pop up in a cute pet video than a vag, depending on the context.

[@miminana-hd6nf]

OMG, "cooter cam". I am dying here I am laughing so hard.

[@ian7064]

Story 1: NTA. "Does he have a developmental disorder?" Yeah it's called laziness

[@impishrebel5969]

6:31 is precisely why it's often so difficult to leave abusers as a victim, and half the people who comment on these videos need to really think and dwell on this when they go "i can't understand why they stayed so long!!!!" Because they've never been in that situation before, that's why.

[@nightcorelucario2218]

19:16 why did i just imagine Mark, fresh put the shower, towel tied around his waist, looking in the mirror just suddenly crack out the first few steps of Fortnite's default dance before stopping and questioning his actions

[@pinklemonade8320]

Thanks I'm gay now

[@Kristen70364]

"Am I the asshole for not scheduling an interview for my brother?" Immediately no.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

WTH is wrong with weirdos sending OP#1 inappropriate messages? That’s sick.

[@videofan1010]

Being married is not a flex and it's not a personality trait. Being married is just that. Being married.

[@katie6731]

Story 2: Amanda sounds desperately unhappy, and is masking that by putting on a show of having a perfect _Leave It to Beaver_ life. She attacks OP to try to convince herself that she's better off than someone who has the freedom she envies. Edit to add: Well. I wrote my comment before the update. Called it. I feel sorry for Amanda. Jerry definitely has a thing for OP. I don't understand why the reddit people convinced OP that the email _wasn't_ creepy, because it really was. Story 3: Cooter Cam! 😂😂😂😂 I *LOVE* it! I'm glad OP sees the humor in her goof up. If you can't be silly while naked, giving the dog a bath, and celebrating the duck's milestone, well, then you're a humorless prune (autocorrected from _prude,_ but I think _prune_ fits better).

[@rachelguyer8447]

That husband clearly liked op being his wife's friend hoping his wife would take ques from her and when he realized his wife only talks to you to put you down and make herself feel better he had enough and told you how much he liked you as a friend. He clearly wanted his wife to have a good friend like you until he realized how evil his wife was. Still creepy email to get but yeah. Poor everyone involved.

[@66DoodleGal]

First Story: "We're disowning you!" "Thank God"

[@1tiptip187]

Whenever someone says someone wouldn't have cheated if this reason or that reason I have to wonder who the hell would want someone who you have to work extra hard and change yourself to stop them cheating.