My Family Screamed At Me For Buying Gym Equipment Instead Of Paying Rent r/Relationships

[@promisedmysun6044]

Story 2 Update 2: Hello Redditors, Thanks to all who reached out in the comments and private messages. Well a lot has happened this past week. So BFF came to stay with wife and I, and sure enough that first night she blew his phone up. He didn't answer and it went on til about 1am. Between the hours of 2 and 6am, she rode past my house about 15 times. I live at the end of my cul de sac, so she has to u-turn right in front of my home to get out. I set the geo fencing on my Ring cam to stretch past my driveway just to see if she would drive by. She didn't see his car (it was in the garage) so she would sit for a couple of minutes and drive by. He was able to avoid seeing her for about 3 days then she started calling everyone he knew to try and find him. He would alternate getting a ride from me or an Uber so she wouldnt see his car at work. In the meantime, we tried to find a way to get her out of his apartment. He lives in one of those luxury apartments where there is a limit on how long your visitors can stay, in his case 30 days. So we proceeded with a plan to evict her without involving the law. So Sunday while she was at church, we convinced his management company that he lost his key fob so they reprogrammed his reader and give him 2 new fobs. My wife and | helped him pack up all her belongings, put them in his storage unit on the ground level and instructed the concierge that she was no longer welcomed in his place and to allow her access to his storage to retrieve her belongings. His building has a no soliciting rule and an pre approved guest list, so he told them she was no longer allowed up to his apartment. His building is very strict in that no one can stay there without being added to the lease for more than 30 consecutive days. Since she isn't on the lease she is effectively ex communicado and there is no recourse because she isn't a lease holder. She still calls and texts, but he has yet to see her since he came to stay with us. His sister the cop found out what was going on from my wife and she lost her shit. Needless to say, we had to talk her down about putting her career in jeopardy. For now, the ex gf is gone from his place and we just have to see how long it takes her to get the hint.

[@telinhajp]

Thank you for posting the update! ❤️🤗

[@promisedmysun6044]

@@telinhajp welcome ❤️

[@Ospyro3em]

Thank you! I wondered what the final outcome would be

[@LawNerdsUnited]

Thank you for posting the update.

[@pippo17173]

Op wife is a keeper for knowing what will happen.

[@hannahwhite7227]

Story 1: A 14 year old should NEVER have to be responsible for paying bills. That’s the parent’s responsibility not their child’s

[@aromyrr]

Yeah they should definitely let their teachers/counselors know about this because their parents should NOT be trying to steal their paychecks. Hell, I'm worried the parents would try to sell OP's things or return all this themselves to get the money behind OP's back.

[@pippo17173]

@Aromyr what in getting fron this is that op might of been an unplanned pregnancy from them. Or the worst outcome, their spending on illegal crap.

[@damien678]

Ideally, however... It won't end well if they become homeless. Still on the parents, and I know many parents are scumbags and just say that to scare their kids and take their money for themselves.

[@rachelguyer8447]

​@@damien678 even if they were at risk of getting kicked out they didn't say a word to op when she said she had a job and saved money and was buying XYZ...they just didn't like seeing op get something and they got nothing. Selfish psych parents.

[@t123tina]

It a fake story

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Story 1: I changed my vote in the first 5 seconds. I was thinking "responsible adults need to pay the bills", but that (14f) gave me whiplash. Responsible parents need to pay the bills! Those parents are highly abusive and poor OP is starting to see it.

[@Harwoodman]

Agreed

[@MrJpaynebb]

The 1st update alone is why OP will be no contact as soon as they turn 18 and can get out of the home. 2nd update means that maybe happening sooner than 18 hopefully with help from the cops and legal system.

[@juliesrensen7887]

I was the same. When i read the titel i was thinking that it was an adult who maybe borrowed money alot to ‘pay bills’ and then being irreseposible and spending when they finally got money on non bills. But no, no 14 year old should ever be screamed at for using THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY on adults responsibility.

[@mogulmade]

How do you not notice your 14 year old working that much?!

[@TonksRules]

I had the same reaction! The title had me but then I heard the age and my heart shattered. I wish I could adopt this poor girl myself. What a responsible, intelligent, hardworking young lady being so terribly abused. I just want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her how proud I am of her.

[@MoniquesW0rld]

Why should a 14 year old be helping with household bills?!! That’s the parents responsibility

[@tamsel814]

A teen growing up in a family barely being able to afford housing should try and contribute. It sucks but sometimes a teen contributing can mean the difference between an actual meal of canned beans. Ops family dies not sound like it but there are families that sadly rely on working teens.

[@catherinecox573]

​@@tamsel814 maybe OPs parents could have discussed the financial situation instead of acting like they were fine with everything until OP had already made the purchase. Parents are the AH 🙄

[@dustyrose192]

@@tamsel814 Bull fucking shit. Op did not choose to be born but her parents chose to have kids. The responsibility is solely upon them.

[@b.c.9358]

@@tamsel814 but they aren't in a bad place financially. They're just abusing OP.

[@Human-kb6xc]

@@b.c.9358 and OP even said her dad asked for a loan from his friend, saying they were homeless when they didn't even need it.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

I’m willing to bet OP’s parents told the family that she stole the money from them to get her equipment and NOT that she worked multiple jobs to pay for it with her own money. I’m glad she’s getting the police involved, and hopefully this will expose her parents to everyone.

[@faeangel7649]

The sad thing is, there's a fair chance the family knows the truth but agrees that OP's money belongs to her parents. A lot of people view children as property and that nothing belongs to them, it all belongs to their parents

[@Nielak-dg8nj]

The police aren't going to do anything unfortunately. Last time I checked if no fraud or identity theft has occurred, legally it belongs to the parents. That is why in recent years, child actors have an account that studios deposit a percentage of their checks into so the parents can't turn them into Gary Coleman. It sucks, but most parents don't steal from their kids so they don't care that some do. This leads me to believe this story is probably fake.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

The parents of the first OP are... criminally insane, from the sound of it, and not just for what they've done to OP. So much yikes.

[@pippo17173]

I'm starting to wonder if the parents had op as a unplanned pregnancy.

[@Flufferz626]

I'm thinking they are on higher end drugs.

[@fludderkiddie]

can we touch on the parents not even realizing their kid took up a job? Did they like, wonder where their kid was at any point? How about a “ Congratulations for working so hard and saving up all of this money“… Growing up with a very similar stepparent, this is so relatable, and so painful to listen to…

[@squirrel670]

She told them! Every step of the way she told them

[@seleneyue]

They knew. They just wanted her money

[@fiyahquacker2835]

I had told my parents in advance that I would be working to earn some money for some fun equipment and they had been okay with it.

[@littleblackpistol]

They sound like addicts or people involved in activities that aren't productive - the fact they have no idea what their kid is doing, and seem to have no money doesn't suggest they're even working a lot. They are probably drunks or drug users.

[@Cjaj2]

Story one: I was picturing some like 20-25 year old living at home rent free never would I have thought it was a literal child. If the parents were good parents at all they would see this as her helping them financially because they should want to be able to provide the dance equipment for her.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Honestly, same! The age reveal gave me whiplash lol

[@mickmash13]

Story 1: NTA The brain fog from growing up in an abusive home is a very real thing. It took me moving out and away from my mom at the age of 20 to even realize my mom was abusive. And even then, it was only because I was staying with a family friend who pointed out all my mom's shitty behaviors. It still took me a couple of years to come to terms with it. Good on OP for being so financially responsible and for getting the fuck out. I hope she realizes her parents' treatment of her isn't okay and protects herself.

[@candi3842]

I do, and im making an update tmrw :)

[@TopazFire15]

Interesting that OP said her dad took a huge loan saying they were about to be homeless when they were stable. Makes it sound like her parents are spending a lot of money somewhere she isn’t aware of, and are desperate for more, even her $800. (Drugs? Gambling?)

[@wmdkitty]

Irresponsible investing? (Which is just gambling with extra steps, I guess.)

[@candi3842]

It was both, I’ll update soon

[@littleblackpistol]

100% addict behavior. Addicts should not be allowed to raise children.

[@Twilight.Knight]

She's 14 rent isn't her obligation that's theirs as the parents, it's HER money nor theirs, definitely nta

[@boldovargent9699]

"My parents are saying they are going to take me out", I initially understood it as them telling her they are going to kill her.

[@LawNerdsUnited]

Same

[@youngdevil1920]

That would certainly save them some money

[@Fingerscrossedout]

Those parents are going to turn out to be addicts. I remember a story where a kid was used and abused like this and that was the outcome.

[@nopeninja8883]

I am in my 50's and the first story hit home. Took till my 40's to cut my parent off. I had to work for my clothes, contribute to the household funds for food etc from the age of 9 onward. And takes a long time to pull yourself from how you see as normal to actually what is reasonable. Lots of therapy and actual good people/chosen family in your life helps.

[@anthogugs79]

Sorry you had that happen I was getting angry listening to it

[@TessuDraws]

Story 2: I hate those "even if his gf says he can't go, it's still his choice to not go" comments because I'm sure if the genders were reversed, people would've immediately recognized the partner as abusive. But when it's a younger woman telling an older man what to do, it's just him being a doormat. Gross. Younger people and women can also be abusive and controlling and the moment OP said "it's his girlfriend" I knew what was up.

[@rosystrawberry]

Yeah. And no one even thought to say "this feels wrong" but I'm pretty sure if it was a friend that happen to be a woman "🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩" in every comment. I argue woman are more likely to both abuse and get away because there is almost never any real punishment for it. A man isn't even allowed to defend himself without being arrested and crucified, but a woman can practically slaughter a man and everyone will find every justification in the book to excuse her or give her the smallest punishment. I just find the whole thing infuriating over these bullshit double standards. Men can get abused, and is more likely to go unreported because no one ever takes them seriously. No one ever does until they kill themselves or their partner kills them, and even then, if they're murdered, "well what did they do?" And don't even get me started on how unfair systems get when they're down. They have nowhere to go when abused or homeless. If they need help, there is almost nothing for them. If they were messed up by their parents its "get over it" and never any real help. Or when fathers are screwed over by mothers of their children. If people bitch about equal rights, they better fucking mean equal rights. Look at both problems and not just one. I fucking hate it when people say "I want equal rights" and pull these double standards. I will admit, I catch myself thinking that too and I do my best to fix it. If anything I find it interesting how I tend to think like that and wonder how. Feminism is a great movement and I support it wholeheartedly. But we also need to focus on issues the other side has as well. The point of feminism means being on equal ground. And it will never be equal ground if we continue to dismiss the problems the other side has. We all struggle, and it's ok to have a moment of frustration and talk about it. But we need to acknowledge that everyone has struggles. And not dismiss them because of gender because it's counterproductive in the long run.

[@MilfywayGalaxy]

Yes. I don't like how abuse is handled at all. That being said, abused women are not free of snide comments when dealing with abuse. There is just a lot of stuff that people don't care to educate themselves about when they find out someone they love is/was in an abusive relationship. I was almost beat to death by my ex and I got the whole "wHy dIdN'T yOu jUsT lEaVe 🤪" and "Wow! I cAn"T bElIeVe yOu cOuLd lEt hIm dO tHaT. I tHouGhT yOu wErE sTrOnG!" by so many people who I thought loved me and supported me. It made me run away with my child from everyone and I blamed myself for years and years. No one would ever be attracted to someone who was mean from the start. No one would ever find putting air tags in their car tires appealing. It is a long con game of manipulation that ANYONE is capable of. It is time that we start bringing it to light that ANYONE can be manipulated into being in an abusive relationship and how we can support them . Gender has nothing to do with it. "Men too" "Women too" No. This needs to be an inclusive message for EVERYONE to protect themselves from this unacceptable, dangerous behavior. and we need to start teaching this to people when they get to dating age. Personally, I think this should be part of Segg Ed in high school because I know my parents didn't ever give me this talk. Even if you are a well rounded, highly intelligent, beefy man... You can have your whole life ruined by a 5 foot 2 inch tall snake named Melissa. You could be a highly successful woman and be an excellent mother, but the minute Mark the snake doesn't like the way you do dishes one day, snaps, and bites the ish out of you BAM your life is over.

[@dustypaladin9216]

ok tbf thats literally what happened. almost everyone realized right away that he was being abused. there were comments like that but they werent the majority.

[@jbrennan381]

​@@dustypaladin9216 Issue is they would be the majority if the roles were reversed. I'm happy to see that were making societal strides in a lot of ares, including this area but unfortunately men are still assumed to either be the bad guy or not able to be abused.

[@Clairski3]

Exactly!

[@madcatlady]

a friend told me how her druggie parents sold her eyeglasses when she was a kid and she couldn't read the blackboard, I cried, 20 years later she still was supporting her dying mentally ill father

[@Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets]

Story 1: those parents are absolutely terrible. Best Friend and GF story: this guy sounds like he's in an abusive relationship. Of course reddit says cut him off. It's never the same when the genders are swapped. Relationship confirmed abusive? Oh boy, drama!

[@bbjjbb61]

Exactly and even when they do address it it's a joke.

[@kimlehman8179]

Story One: It’s not their money OP. It’s yours. You earned it. Your parents are the selfish ones trying to steal from you. Tell all your friends and relatives who are siding with your parents that they can pry open their own wallets to help them out since it’s so important to them.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

That last one is the reason it's so important to pay attention to sudden changes in behavior in friends and family. There are many things that can cause a sudden shift and most are bad if not dangerous.

[@HoneyBakedHamlet]

Story 1 'I, fourteen female...' AUTOMATIC NTA.

[@JasperCatProductions]

I would have been so proud of my 14 year old child if she saved that much money. How did you steal their money ? You worked your butt off. This family is just awful. Hide your money so when you are 18 you can get out and away from these people.

[@morganleanderblake678]

I had the fog lift on stuff that happened 15 years ago, recently. It's devastating. You go through life with one idea of what happened, then someone tells you something else, and it finally clicks. An example: when I was a kid my class all dressed as the same thing for Halloween. It took almost 20 years to realize they were all dressing up as my religion and I was the one who was left out on purpose. Joke was on them, I wore a velvet 16th century ballgown sized for an 8 year old and everyone was stunned by how nice my costume was. They looked like idiots.

[@cb9825]

That's rough. Did the kids' parents somehow communicate among themselves and choose the costume theme to spite your family? I can't imagine the level of nastiness of those people

[@potatoempress5731]

Story 1 hits home. Being born to be a parent to my parents in the future. The other kids don't have jobs and it's totally fine for them. Can't be me. Caretaker, ATM, emotional punching bag, all in one.

[@notevenlistening6072]

Gosh, I hope you're out of that situation, or planning to escape it. I'm pulling for you.

[@ariste01]

I am 42. It took me till I was in my 30s to say I'd been abused. (At best I'd say my mother was overzealous with punishment) I'm still processing. Every time I think I've reached the bottom I realize how utterly fucked up something else was and I'm angry all over again. It's a long and painful process but it's been worth it so far. Def have a better relationship with my kids.

[@a.s.208]

The first story is so sad. I hope that poor baby find someone who can love her and care for her like she deserves to be cared for. I hope that person will give her all the dance equipment, and other resources she could possibly want, with such a strong worth ethic and level of intelligence and maturity, this girl will go places if she’s properly supported, and even if she isn’t, she’ll still go far.

[@DorifutoRabbit]

If they have to rely on your money, they're in more trouble than you can fix by giving them your money

[@monserrath270]

Oh 1st op, I can relate. What many people don’t always understand is that in some situations there is nothing that can be done. My parents, especially my father where exactly like this. We often had to hide any new toys or books, hence I’m very good at hiding stuff. If he found out he’d yell and break/rip whatever item it was in front of us. There’s this paralyzing fear involved and for most of us that lived that situation we understand how hopeless it can actually feel. I worked my ass off to buy an 80$ electric guitar off ebay around 2010. It was my money, I earned it, I gave it to my mother so I could use her debit card. Father was furious when he saw the charge and didn’t believe that the cash I gave them was mine. Thankfully my mom was mostly on our side but also held great fear for him. She grew up in an abusive home where her money wasn’t hers, it was the “family’s” money. So when my dad took her paychecks too it was “normal” to her. Slowly she realized that it was her money but still couldn’t do much about because of that fear. It’s like an invisible shackle, I didn’t freely spend my money until I moved out at 24. 24!!!! I’m only 27 now, I ask my husband for permission to buy anything and he’s slowly been easing me into not asking him permission for everything. I’m slowly unlearning a lot of stuff but it’s a very slow process. I love my parents, I do but like one user said, you hate visiting them, calling them. My husband has seen little things I do that honestly make no sense! He says I go into a trance like state whenever my parents say they are going to visit and I quickly hide stuff that isn’t bad, like books or video games. Im especially glad OP went to the police and had a friend willing to help out, that she was strong enough to do it is very commendable.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

Remember you can love your parents and even love the “good” parts of them but still acknowledge they are seriously flawed/broken in certain areas (possibly from their own upbringing or trauma) BUT you have a right to do what is right and safe for you and protect yourself from toxic behaviour. “Going no contact” isn’t as straightforward or easy as people like to think but at least work towards strong boundaries and work on not feeling responsible for other people’s emotions.

[@loryndabenson2118]

Story one: wishing her the best. Her parents are definitely jealous of her as well.

[@fludderkiddie]

How to Alienate, Embitter, and Instill Lifelong Trust Issues in your Children 101

[@TheVeggiekat]

That first story - I got a paper route at 12, a job at McDonald’s at 15, and helped with my parent’s business (unloading trucks, warehouse work) since I was 5. I saved for years and never bought anything for myself. I finally ran away from home at 17 and when I got back in touch with my parents after I turned 18 I found out my savings account had been emptied. They’d sold my car and taken my dog to the pound. I never got any of that back and today have no contact.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

That breaks my heart. I'm sorry that happened to you. 😢

[@kanelovec4315]

It wasn't the parents money. The money op got as a kid was saved for fun stuff like they planned. Op could quite her job sense no 14 need to work to keep a family afloat.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

If there were really that bad off (which I highly doubt), then Mommy and Daddy should be working 2 or 3 jobs, 16 hours a day to get them out of financial trouble. But they weren't so either Mommy and Daddy are lazy or they aren't really that bad off and Mommy and Daddy just wanted to use the OP as their personal slush fund. Regardless, Mommy and Daddy are massive A-holes and they need to have CPS crawling up their butts to make sure they are not abusing the children in any way. In many states, cities, counties, 14-year-olds have very strict labor rules and some don't allow them to work at all so if I were the OP, I would tell them that EVERYTHING they STOLE better be back or she will go to the police and tell them that her parents FORCED her to work for them. Put a little "Fear of God" into them.

[@demontoaster5670]

Eddited to add; those parrents are drugs users, no doubt in my mind. I was treated like the kid in story 1. I had to pay for my own license, when less then a year prior my sister didn't. My grandma YELLED at me in the middle of DOL because I was 10$ short. I have yet to ever go back to a DOL and such as I am stuck with a photo of me almost in tears as my driver license

[@Whooachannel]

I'm getting so enraged at the first story of people calling OPs hard earned money the parents money. NO. OP worked several jobs for her own money, and at 14 no less! The parents have NO rights to OPs money and no rights to get angry at her for spending HER money. I hope OP in the first story keeps working but instead of saving up for dance equipment, she saves up to move out the moment she turns 18. She also needs to find a safe place to keep her money if no bank will let her have an account on her own because her parents have made it VERY clear that they feel entitled to OPs money and won't hesitate to take it from her.

[@michealwatts7469]

Wow. Who raised those parents into adults? Glad OP has a good hear on her shoulders. I could see her walking out the door and never looking back in 4 years Story 2 comment: “he allows his gf the power” ok Im just gonna come out with this: Manipulative, Controlling and Abusive partners come in all shapes and sizes. It is exceedingly difficult to disobey or leave them so cut that nonsense out right now. Him trying to get together with OP could be a cry for help.

[@Mr.andMrs.Smith_0420]

That family is disgraceful, we are people of limited means and when my daughter got a job at 16, we never took a dime from her and never would, because its HER money, this girl's 14 and working to pay for something that her parents can't but should be providing and they're going to take that away from her? Absolutely despicable 😞

[@caitofga]

Story 1’s parents’ actions have me thinking that they are addicts and OP just doesn’t know.

[@catsncrows]

Reddit has it's bad moments but I truly love it when it throws a wrench into garbage family bs

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 - NTA It is the ADULT’S responsibility to pay the bills. This was Op’s money.

[@DindellaTheDefender]

Story 1: Please be safe, OP. I'm so proud of you for getting away from that. Please stay away from it. Never go back. Don't let them take you back.

[@SirLouisTheThird]

The parents from the 1st story sound like they're dead beat Drunks

[@historictruecrime5119]

That is complete and utter abuse of that teenager. I would talk to somebody at school like a counselor and not my friends and the relatives are just getting on OP‘s case because the parents lied.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Story 1: holy crap, I hope baby girl OP can get emancipated??! That is financial and emotional abuse of the highest order!

[@lauraanderson8785]

Story 1: What disgusting parents. I can't believe that they're gaslighting OP saying that she's a thief when THEY'RE the thiefs and they broke the law! I hope that OP gets her justice.

[@olgaovierrales]

Story 2: This story can make for a good horror movie plot "The Girlfriend in horror... she is sexy and dangerous, be aware when she comes to you with a Machete"😂

[@Tijggie82]

First story: wow. How to crush someone's spirit and break them. I'm glad they were able to get some help.

[@rachelguyer8447]

Holy crap story one is insane. I would have legit turned around and smashed in their TV after they told me they pawned my shit. Id smash every tv in the house. That really triggered me! My mom used to "take" all my gifts away birthday and Christmas and always directly after the gifting. She was completely psycho back then.

[@angelaa7388]

Story 2- I had a hunch the gf was taking friend's phone, and that's why he didn't text until the next day. I definitely think OPs initial reaction of "cut him off" was formed with the subconscious idea that a middle aged man cannot be controlled or abused by a 20 something woman. We gotta look out for men too, they can be victims just as much as anybody else.

[@noname-ip9xe]

It's actually pretty much 50/50 with how men can be abused, they're just far less likely to realize it and far less likely to reach for support since support is more likely to side with their abusers.

[@olgaovierrales]

I am so sorry for OP, her parents are horrible and are neglected this poor Child, the all situation make my blood boil, she deserves much better than these two clowns. I am so glad that she had a support system and reported the theft to the Police.

[@sanfransicanvampire7224]

OP #1 needs to work on getting those pay stubs from their work and have the people who she did chores for write a letter with how much they have them

[@jenniferrichards2122]

My mother was like the ones in S1. I was 15 and she said any money I earned, the parents can take because it was legal. Then she smirked. That smirk angered me more than if was true. I told her I would call her office and tell all the other ladies she was stealing my money. They didn’t like her, go figure. She never brought up the subject again. She was not a good person. My father was not any better.

[@catking1059]

Story 2: my ex used to do that to his friends, he wouldn’t even tell me they wanted to hang out or that he had made plans. It cost him his oldest friendship and was a problem in our relationship as well. I don’t let my girlfriend tell her friends I’m the one who decided we aren’t going to an event if she decides to stay home unless it’s because we already had plans

[@heathercarbaugh1447]

First story, OP should send back the stuff and put all the money in an account only OP can access to work on getting out of that toxic environment. She should also tell her counselor at school as that's abuse.

[@alilove5384]

Story 1: when I was 14 my mom told me and my sister that we would be responsible for paying for our own clothes for the next school year. I got a job. Went to every shift I was assigned. I worked hard and saved every penny. Meanwhile my sister messed around, got fired after a week, and saved no money. When the day finally came we went to the bank and she signed for my money and the cashier handed it directly to my mother. I asked her if I could have my money and she said when we get to the car. We get to the car and she says oh I put it in my purse for safekeeping I’ll give it to you when we get to older sisters house (she was the one taking my other sister and myself shopping). We get there and we’re in the driveway and she pulls out the envelope with My money in it and opens it. She handed me 500 and then turned to sister and handed her the rest of my money and said have fun shopping sweetie. It’s important at this point to mention that she had pulled out 3,000 dollars from my account. That’s right my sister was lazy and didn’t work and my mother gave her my money. When I complained she said that I needed to stop being so greedy and that if I was a good Christian I would be willing to give my sister anything she needed and she needed my money because she had none of her own and I couldn’t honestly expect her to show up to school in clothes that weren’t brand new. The next year she started charging me rent to live at home ( I was 15 so I’m not sure where else I was supposed to live) and the year after that she sold my horse which I had purchased again with my own money so that she could pay to have solar panels put in. We’re no contact now. Same with lazy sister, older sister just stays out of it.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Oh, hon!!! If you were working that hard as a teenager, you could have been emancipated and paid less just to live each day! I'm so glad you went no contact!

[@nilianstroy]

It's going to be hilarious when the parents end up having to pay op while she leaves somewhere else... And when she turns 18, never see her again, while hear how successful she's become.

[@SethUnwell]

I thought it would be an adult not paying rent, but a 14 year old?? THOSE PARENTS ARE ABUSIVE.

[@khughes9574]

S1: Not sure where this OP is living but I would suggest looking into the age of emancipation where you are. Also, parents that sell their kids stuff for no good reason usually turn out to have a substance abuse problem. I'm not saying OPs parents, do, but the desperation for money seems like something else is going on.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

I had to double check the age…14! That’s amazing she saved up that much goodness I have problems saving.I’d throw myself out in foster care . They didn’t even noticed she was out of the house working…

[@faeb.9618]

as someone who has been doing online commissions for years to save up for things and had to give up money to my parents over and over because the alternative was for the family to starve or be homeless, op is absolutely nta. now that they're finally back to working i'm fighting them to get them to help replace my current years old laptop that is dying so i can keep doing anything

[@Floratic]

Story 1 ticked me off. This girl worked MONTHs to earn that $800! She even notified her parents about what she was doibg and they pull this crap on her?! This had me swinging at the air when she disclosed that her parents pawned her dance equipment.

[@KK-jl9sz]

Jesus my heart breaks for OP in the first story. That's all I can say. It's absolutely terrible

[@Theunknownone58]

Wish she could see this..her parents are clearly lying to family and gas lighting her to point where even she misrepresents the situation

[@redonyx5428]

s1: there's something deeply wrong with the parents. they're abusive and are using that money for something sketchy i bet. They don't have a fear of being broke. I'm glad the OP is getting out of that environment and i hope she keeps her distance. s2: i saw the 2nd update and yep the gf is definitely abusing the best friend. the lady isn't right in her head and needs to stay far, far away from op and the friend because those type of unstable people can become violent. she's not going to quietly leave

[@frodothegrey1994]

Story 2’s friend should definitely get some kind of official cease and desist letter and make a police report. There are too many stories where there hasn’t been anything legal and it ends really badly. I’m hoping she won’t make any false allegations, but with that level of toxic behaviour… Yeah, best he gets his story out first, especially through any and all legal channels. He should have really done it before going to OP’s house, however better doing it at all than not. He should also let his place of employment know in case she tries to go after his livelihood, he could get blacklisted from any and all prospective employers with that landmine lying in wait.

[@Queen_Of_Discord]

Story 1: It's OP's money. NOT their parents'. Simple as that. NTA.

[@2LiterFoxBody]

OP1: you're a good egg. Best of luck with a tough road.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

How is a 14 year old working that much and making that kind of money without the parents knowing about it? Don't parents have to sign permissions at that age? Does she have her own banking without their knowledge?

[@Human-kb6xc]

Story 1: *gasp* OP, a 14-year-old CHILD got herself a job and used her hard-earned money to buy something for herself?! What a horrible, rebellious child. (Obvious sarcasm)

[@boneymeroney2674]

I do hope we get a happy update from story 1. What her parents did is awful.

[@kennethgates3508]

1st story - You used money you earned to pay for things you needed so you would not have to ask for their money. Sounds like you DID help them out.

[@owl7072]

Op, repeatedly: Hey I got a job The parents, a few months later: How dare you get a job behind our backs! Edit: Pretty sure if Op can prove she bought the stuff, she can call the police for theft. There's gotta be some sort of proof that she worked for the money herself.

[@luxuryballer8291]

Story 1: had a similar experience until I told my family I'd quit my job and double down on expenses until I was 18.

[@rubymeaddle]

Glad the police are involved for OP

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Hopefully, they do something and not just take the parent's side as them saying their child is a rebellious lying teen. She needs to have an adult call into CPS and make a complaint as well. They often will investigate a little bit more than the police will. There was a family in my town that had their 15-year-old daughter get pregnant and the parents said it happened at a party she snuck out to one night. A couple of years later, another daughter that reached the age of 15 got pregnant and the parents had the same story. Another daughter that was 14 and got drunk with a couple of her friends and let the secret out ....... She was excited for her upcoming 15th birthday because then she would get to have sex with her mom and dad and get pregnant. The mom condoned it and actually participated in it, kind of a perverted family threesome. The cops got called and they didn't do crap. They said their hands were tied but they did refer it to CPS and they went into that house and did a very thorough investigation (which sadly isn't commonplace for all CPS depts.), and ended up getting all 3 of the daughters to admit the father was having sex with them and got them pregnant. Daddy is in prison for a very very very long time. He also had to be put in a prison several states away and the other prisoners still found out and nearly beat him to death so now he is in solitary confinement for pretty much the rest of his sentence which is like another 20 years (if he lives that long lol). Mommy got prison time as well but only like 10 years but she also got like 10 years of probation where she can't have any contact with the kids. The kids moved to live with other relatives. If not for CPS, these people would have gotten away with it and the 14-year-old would have been pregnant as well as eventually, one more younger daughter who was like 10, when they reached the age of 15.

[@melissahollowell7255]

My mother, of blessed memory, hustled our whole lives. She worked a full time government job but then made cakes to supplement so my sister and I could have our hobbies. It wasn't until well into adulthood that I realized everything she did to finance our whimsies.

[@GlucoseGuy]

Two juicy stories on this video. Story 1 has got the self centred parents that don't value how much OP saved to get what they wanted. Though when they said they'd stop paying for Dance, I was wondering if OP would just pay for that themselves. That was before the move out update. Story 2: Good on OP for getting some 1 on 1 time with the friend and getting him to open up about the abuse. Two thumbs up on this episode.

[@francissobotka8725]

Story 1 they need to contact someone at achool.The parents are abusing them financially .

[@megamiet1210]

story 1; Your parents stole your stuff. That is theft.

[@kichikitsu]

yikes at the commentors on S2 "uhm actually if an abuser isolates you then its YOUR fault" what? what kind of logic is that? OP clearly doesn't view him as family btw, so I don't know why hes insistent on calling them "brothers." family is supposed to be unconditional love and support -- including when one family member is facing a partner purposefully trying to isolate them from the rest of their friends and family. yes, it sucks to be pushed out, but they need their family more than anything at that point. Update: oh wowie, cant say its a shocker at all to see how controlling and abusive she is. glad OP finally got his shit together and actually acted like his damn brother, though.

[@warmarmot1]

How's the kid supposed to save enough to move out on their own one day if their parents take all of her earnings. Bad deal. I hope she will be able to get out from under her parents.

[@nilianstroy]

Story 1... I'm petty i would have threatened with cps and tell them my parents are demanding money from me for their bills...

[@heatherdickau5335]

AITAH For ending a almost 30 year friendship? [UPDATE 2] My (43M) bff (42M) have been like brothers since 8th grade. I have been there for pretty much every milestone in he and his family’s life. No matter what he was my brother from another mother and we behaved as such. Over the last 10 or so years we didn’t hang as much (both have demanding careers), so anytime we got to hang was very much cherished. The last 5 or 6 times we were supposed to hang he straight up ghosted me. No call, no text, just plain not showing up. I would often hear from him the day after with an apology, and usually blaming his GF for not being able to get out the house. And as I always I told him I understood maybe we’ll catch up next time. So my birthday came up and he offered to go treat me to wings and beer at the sports bar while watching the NCAA Tourney. I took him up on it as it’s been almost a year since we’ve seen each other even though we live in the same city. So we made plans to meet up at 5pm. 530, no show. 6pm no show, I bet you guys can see where this going. So I stayed and enjoyed my wings until the the game was done and went home. I told my wife what happened and told her I’m over the friendship. She said we are too close for me to just throw our brotherhood away, but I told her I’m only matching his energy. If our brotherhood doesn’t merit a courtesy call or text to inform me you can’t make it, especially after being the one to invite me out, then that’s no brotherhood I want to be apart of. AITAH for this? \[Update 2\] Hello Redditors, Thanks to all who reached out in the comments and private messages. Well a lot has happened this past week. So BFF came to stay with wife and I, and sure enough that first night she blew his phone up. He didn't answer and it went on til about 1am. Between the hours of 2 and 6am, she rode past my house about 15 times. I live at the end of my cul de sac, so she has to u-turn right in front of my home to get out. I set the geo fencing on my Ring cam to stretch past my driveway just to see if she would drive by. She didn't see his car (it was in the garage) so she would sit for a couple of minutes and drive by. He was able to avoid seeing her for about 3 days then she started calling everyone he knew to try and find him. He would alternate getting a ride from me or an Uber so she wouldn't see his car at work. In the meantime, we tried to find a way to get her out of his apartment. He lives in one of those luxury apartments where there is a limit on how long your visitors can stay, in his case 30 days. So we proceeded with a plan to evict her without involving the law. So Sunday while she was at church, we convinced his management company that he lost his key fob so they reprogrammed his reader and give him 2 new fobs. My wife and I helped him pack up all her belongings, put them in his storage unit on the ground level and instructed the concierge that she was no longer welcomed in his place and to allow her access to his storage to retrieve her belongings. His building has a no soliciting rule and an pre approved guest list, so he told them she was no longer allowed up to his apartment. His building is very strict in that no one can stay there without being added to the lease for more than 30 consecutive days. Since she isn't on the lease she is effectively ex communicado and there is no recourse because she isn't a lease holder. She still calls and texts, but he has yet to see her since he came to stay with us. His sister the cop found out what was going on from my wife and she lost her shit. Needless to say, we had to talk her down about putting her career in jeopardy. For now, the ex gf is gone from his place and we just have to see how long it takes her to get the hint.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

Thanks for the extra update!

[@melissar4612]

Story 2: NGL, I was getting REALLY annoyed with the commenters who were telling OP to let the friendship go if the BFF was so willing to let his girlfriend control his friendships. Please, reverse the genders here and tell me that those SAME COMMENTERS wouldn't have been saying, "This sounds like a controlling, abusive relationship. You need to let your friend know you're there for him in case he needs a safe place to land. She's trying to isolate him - don't let her." This is why male victims of domestic abuse so rarely speak up: their anxieties are shrugged off and treated like nothing. It's frankly disgusting. I'm glad at least ONE commenter had the sense to call out what was going on.

[@keepdancingmaria]

If you are an adult, you always need to pay your rent before buying gym equipment. But you aren't an adult, and this isn't your rent. That said, while you still shouldn't pay rent, you shouldn't buy gym equipment either, as you won't have a place to put it. You should keep your money, I think.

[@poohbear4515]

S1: If you kept the receipts, can you charge those assholes for stealing your stuff? Minor, or not, what they did was extremely selfish and cruel. I hope they get a horrible, nasty, never-coming-back karma on them very soon.

[@julias2855]

I asked mom for extra $. She gave us a lawn mower. Told us to make as much extra $ as we wanted. We were never broke & learned to hustle. Lol. We were like 10!! Mom is an immigrant.

[@brittaniharold1880]

Story 1 NTA.Your parents are responsible for a place to live,not you

[@StandedInUtah]

If women can actually pick up on warning signs more than men is probably due to our cultural belief that men are abusers and women victims. I know I talked about red flags with my son and daughter but I talked about it much more with my daughter. For my son I discussed women who baby trap and manipulate. For my daughter it was much more about partners who go to fast, control who you see, isolate from family, etc.

[@jackal5lay3r60]

those parents in story 1 are the biggest scumbags i hope the poor girl can find an out from her demented parents

[@Rafrob77]

Sounds like a Spanish family to me 😂 my family was like this I am no contact with anyone anymore

[@MissyMac]

I’ve been a mother for 33 years. My daughter does very well financially and has worked hard to get where she is. My financial situation has been unstable, due to divorce. That is not my child’s problem. I’ve always said and continue to say and feel strongly NEVER, EVER take from your children period.

[@mikilacunningham6259]

Ur 14 u don't need to be paying for rent Please please go to ur school counselor & tell that ur being finally abused & called selfish... Because u worked hard at getting jobs & saving $$$$... Make lots of friends out side of ur family & become close to other adults... Update 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

[@avidion6274]

Story 1: those parents are actual POS people, like they're treating their daughters hard earned money as theirs, then getting mad at the daughter for spending the money after they even said it would be okay, if they're struggling so much how about they get better jobs

[@gigga143]

S1: NTA! It’s the parents job to take care of you, not you to take care of them. It’s not their money. Tell them to get better jobs if they can’t afford to pay their own bills. These parents suck. It sucks OP dormant even seem to have supportive relatives either to go stay with. Try and stick it out for just four more years, then you can leave these awful people behind.-- after the update, oh hell nah, i’d call the police on my parents for stealing myself. if you have a best friend see if you can stay with them, call a lawyer and file to divorce your parents. omg, i’m so glad her friend’s mom took her to the police to get help.

[@candi3842]

Hi! Idk if anyones gonna see this but this was the post I made and I really appreciate all the support. I will update very soon :)

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Also, keep in mind how many times parents will say, "If you want something, work for it!" Then they DARE to assume that they are entitled to pay bills with money that THEY DIDN'T work for. Aholes.

[@standinthegsp6858]

Op, they are financially abusing you. Tell your relatives that you used your own money. Until you’re 18 your parents are obligated by law to pay for your housing, schooling, clothing & food. Depending what county you live in, I’d speak to a school counselor. I’d also stop working. If they cut off your dance classes, ask the teacher if you can work the price of the classes off by cleaning the equipment. Make sure to watch your credit & ID when you hit 18, don’t put their name on any checking/savings accounts when you’re an adult. Don’t let them see your children when you have them. I’d even consider somehow anonymously letting your dad’s friend know that your dad scammed him. Good for you for contacting the pilice

[@charleshuguley9323]

In the USA it is parents' legal obligation to support their underage children. They have no right, legal or moral, to demand the money their child has earned. If her parents confiscate OP's money or possessions, or punish OP in any way, she should contact Child Protective Services for assistance.

[@BenKonosky]

Story 2: heard this on another channel, it's the gf that's controlling.

[@CorgiNub]

The parents 100% told relatives that OP stole the money from them and didn't tell them she had a job and worked for it herself

[@irisnroses1889]

Story 1 pisses me off so much. A 14 yr old is in no way responsible for paying their parents bills.

[@thedevilsworkshop7720]

As a fellow Australian I need to say this . We do not throw prawns on bbqs . We boil them like everyone else.