My Father Is PRETENDING I'm Not Getting Married r/Relationships

[@Write662]

Story 2: I am a firm believer in exposing cheaters except when there is abuse involved. When I was in my 20s there was a married couple and they were relationship goals. After some time past there were rumors of abuse, but both denied it. She was caught cheating by a coworker and the coworker gives her the ultimatum of tell your husband or I will. The coworker told the husband and he in turned killed his wife then himself. Their child was raised by other family members. You don’t know what goes on in people’s marriages. I pray it doesn’t end the same way for her sister.

[@helixxia9320]

jesus thats awful

[@sonialinsey8083]

I would more on the side of “encouraging her to just leave him and start a new life” rather than just being a tattletale. She does need to come clean but it doesn’t seem safe at this point.

[@katie6731]

​@@sonialinsey8083 Agreed. It rubbed me the wrong way that OP seemed mostly concerned about her own feelings and outlook, even though she knows that brother-in-law (BIL) has hit Sister once before. I don't think OP has tried to learn much about abuse, or why a victim might try every form of emotional manipulation _without_ confessing that they're being abused. The fact that Sister _didn't_ bring up "the slap" actually makes me _more_ worried for her safety, because using the fear of violence seems like it would have been the only effective way to convince OP not to tell BIL. Alarm bells were going off in my head when OP described BIL leaning toward moving Sister back to his hometown, because he can't monitor her all of the time in the same city where her lover lives. Plus, Sister said that OP ruined her life. OP never explained what that meant. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of repurcussions from Sister's affair. BIL is forgiving Sister and staying married to her. OP and Sister's parents haven't cut Sister out of their lives. Sister didn't even really lose her lover as a result of the revelation, since she promised OP that she'd end the affair anyway.

[@pippo17173]

I hope that co worker sleeps well after doing that.

[@stephkais5613]

​@@pippo17173 he probably does sleep well. It's not his fault she was a cheater and the husband was psycho.

[@Ashbrash1998]

Story 2: Am I the only one confused that OP's lack of reaction to her sister getting hit? And the fact she went "my poor bil" and then felt more sorry because her sister got out of the house and had the nerve to not tell her husband who just hit her where she was? Like if that was my family member I would have given the husband the riot act and slapped him back.

[@pippo17173]

I know that op was cheated on and didn't like seeing this but you think maybe there is something more to this? Like ya the sister should of not cheated but not because she fell out of love, but the fact she is risking it with an abuser and BIL still is trying to fix this by moving out? HOW DENSE ARE YOU OP!?

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

I 100% hate the OP in story 2. She isolated her sister with an abuser and put her even more into his power. If she's real, she's a horror and I suspect her parents know that and aren't discussing anything with her at her sister's request. I suspect that it might be a fake story designed to test what reddit thinks is worst: cheating or violence. As always redditors live in this weird world where cheating is the worst thing a person can do, even abuse isn't as bad.

[@jessielee3187]

@@pippo17173how dense are you. Y’all pick and choose with cheating. She cheated with a married man. Full stop. If she didn’t want to be with the bil she should’ve left him. Y’all keep leaving out the party where she left him, had support and came back then started cheating.

[@pippo17173]

@@jessielee3187 Ok to be clear, Sister pick the wrong choice to even do this when she is clearly in danger. However the updates op provided legit made it worst and all that.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@jessielee3187 You don’t know that the sister isn’t being abused, you literally heard how he hit her, yet you are so quick to assume she isn’t still being abused. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ You’re making excuses for a man who hit his wife and now wants to isolate her because she made a mistake. Cheating isn’t always black and white. Expecting her to live without sex, just because he can’t be bothered to do anything about his impotence, isn’t what a caring spouse does. There are treatment options for impotence. Denying her sex is also a form of abuse.

[@emm_uhh]

"They are a perfect couple" then writes "He slapped her when she said something hurtful" What? Obviously cheating is wrong, but so is hitting someone in anger. Abusers do often "feel sorry" and regretful after they harm someone so theyll come back. Seems like breaking it off would be better.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

The same can be said for the sister though. Why say something so hurtful that the only response you can give is to slap. You can also abuse with words. And the sister is only sorry now that she's caught cheating, and twisting the words to make her the victim. The sister or husband could both be the abusers in this situation. Either way, staying together isn't fixing their issues. In the future the same things will happrn again.

[@xegin1572]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm Yep, people are so used to the manicheism of evil abuser vs innocent victim that they overlook the fact that reality isn't always that simple, that a significant portion of abusive relationships aren't one-sided. I do not condone any form of abuse, but find it ironic that people who say things like "abuse is abuse" are often the first ones to overlook/forgive one form of abuse because the other is worse just to keep that abuser/abused dichotomy.

[@Hoosierdilf]

@@Nathan_BookwurmNEVER that slapping is the only response to words. Hitting has no excuse unless the other person is also being physically aggressive. If he is able to hit he is able to kill. Physical abuse is much worse than anything she has done, so yeah, she is the victim and physically abuse ppl deserve to be cheated on.

[@botanicalitus4194]

@@Nathan_BookwurmThere are no words in the world other than a direct threat that could ever justify hitting somebody

[@KE-hr4sb]

I disagree that he's an abuser. 1) There are no other red flags that come with abuse: He is not controlling her, isolating her, emotionally bullying her, telling her what to wear, what size to be, or how to spend her money, etc. 2) If someone snaps at you, I think you're allowed to snap back. If someone hits you, you should be allowed to defend yourself. And if someone says something that is below the belt, it's understandable to react in the heat of the moment. It's why we have both the self-defense and the temporary insanity defenses. 3) Abuse tends to escalate and continue; he's never laid a hand on her since. I don't think everyone who pops someone in the mouth for saying something unfortunate is an abuser; I think you can hit someone without being an abuser. The difference is that those who are abusers can't stop, be it verbal or physical.

[@Graves933]

Story 2: No one mentioned that the sister said "she disrespected him and deserved it" about getting slapped...That sounds like something someone who has been abused for a long time and is conditioned to think its their fault for getting hit. ALSO?!?!?! BIL is bringing her away from her support system and is possibly isolating her...but like, poor BIL right?.. "My poor BIL getting cheated on :( ...my sister only got hit cause she deserved it" OP sounds like the type of person to say "Yeah, well if dinner was on time maybe he wouldnt beat you" I think physical contact in relationships can only be salvaged if it isnt done out of anger. Like, everyone makes mistakes but hitting someone out of anger is almost always unforgivable and gets worse. If someone hits you out of anger, or harms you when mad they are abusive.

[@hrvojebutkovic]

Are you saying that hitting your partner is more acceptable when it's premeditated than when it's done out of anger? I don't get it.

[@Graves933]

@@hrvojebutkovic That is not what I'm saying at all, premeditated attacks are the same as abuse and not something you can come back from. Im saying that sometimes accidents happen, if a spouse hits you out of anger it's unforgivable, If you're dicking around and accidentally hurt them or get hurt you can move on from that. Do they WANT to hurt you at the end of the day, did they hit you on purpose or was it a genuine accident? Hitting out of anger is almost always a sign things will escalate and you're in danger. And if someone is "accidentally" hitting you a lot it might be them using it as an excuse to beat you.

[@hrvojebutkovic]

@@Graves933Oh, I see. When you said mistakes, you were referring specifically to accidents. Thank you for clarifying.

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

What’s even more terrifying (and a huge red flag) is OP constantly reiterates that she is using her SISTER’S words. Her sister is using classic DV language, downplaying it, saying everything’s fine, etc. Sister is making bad choices but she clearly doesnt have a lot of support. She might not have the wherewithal to even make good decisions. I hope she’s okay.

[@Saarman82]

Story 2 - Biggest familial red flag, OP and sister's parents wanted to know about the affair before OP told husband. They wanted to control the narrative or flat out rug sweep the affair so they weren't embarrassed. I see why the sisters are messed up with parents like that.

[@averycheesypotato]

Story 2 is so problematic… cheating is wrong, obviously. But the sister does seem to be in a bad marriage. She apparently can’t leave her husband because he can’t live without her. Even leaving him after he hit her was too hard on him? Yikes.

[@estho9396]

It baffles me how OP just assumes that he is not abusive because he has not physically harmed her again after that slap. There are many forms of abuse and especially emotional abuse is often not visible to others. Of course he apologized a million times after slapping her. That is what was expected of him.

[@teyarose]

I hate cheaters but if you hold someone hostage in a relationship with threats of suicide you can't honestly be surprised when the relationship starts having issues. I honestly think she'd be better off getting divorced so she can be in a relationship that actually fulfills her needs. She's a shitter for cheating but i guess for her it was an easier guilt to deal with than someone killing themself because she left them. What a shit situation.

[@Guitarbarella]

@@estho9396i would never speak to my sister ever again. Like this bil sounds like he is SO manipulative, he could have done a number on her when she was ill and now she is too scared to say anything bad about him period. He could threaten to kill her or pets behind the scenes if she tells anyone. Op to me in this case totally played a smug God and frankly BIL wanting to cloister the Sister away in his home town is a MAJOR red flag.

[@darkmask5933]

@@Guitarbarella Glad someone else feels the ick about BIL making the decision to move them to his hometown, sounds like it's a place where she can be monitored and isolated. Sister needs to leave BIL and never talk to OP again.

[@kitkakitteh]

They are BOTH ick; BIL is a narcissist. SIL is an idiot. OP needs to stay out of it, she’s too young to understand exactly what’s going on. OP squealed for herself, not the other people. That’s actually selfish and kind of shitty.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Sounds like the dad secretly still loves his ex-wife because he sure seems to be going out of his way to rub her face that he’s moved on when coincidently the mom is already moved on and he’s dating someone else

[@ineedhoez]

She is not in an abusive relationship, but then proceeds to describe a time where her sister was abused😂😂😂

[@pippo17173]

The entire post is her trying to deny the fact that BIL Is a POS

[@YuriKaroki19]

i know and then she says "if he's secretively abusing her why wouldn't she tell me" oh idk maybe cuz HE'S THREATING HER NOT TO!

[@MaryTheresa1986]

​@@YuriKaroki19That and look at how OP is behaving! I wouldn't trust her either.

[@lunaticbz3594]

I can't get over the fact that he thinks its normal to demand she never has sex again for the rest of their lives. If he can't do it, and the marriage isn't open... Well that feels like a slap in the face as well.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

I know. She's effectively divorced her sister from any support. She's such a loving sister.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: If BIL is imp0tent, has he seen a doctor/urologist to find out why? My dad went that way, and blamed it on old age. I dragged his @$$ to a ur0logist and it was discovered that he had pr-st@te c@ncer. Talk to BIL, please.

[@gaara8217]

Maybe That's why she cheated.

[@memorysdancer]

​@@gaara8217there's no maybe, OP said that's exactly why the sister cheated.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Also, I'm confused why the impotence was the reason to cheat. Did she want kids? Or did the sister mean he's just not into sexual stuff? Or both? Being impotent doesn't automatically mean you don't want to have sex, and not having sex doesn't mean you're impotent. Either way, staying together doesn't fix their problem. He doesn't want sex and she does, so she'll just have another affair in the future.

[@YellaBellaReno]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm impotence: inability in a man to achieve an erection or orgasm.

[@PuppyKatt]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm Impotent means that the man cannot obtain an erection. It has nothing to do with the man not wanting sex. It is normally a medical issue, and it has to be checked out by a team of doctors.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: You must uninvite your sperm donor IMMEDIATELY. Do not let them get into your mother's face and head. I also suggest that you talk to your mother; be honest with her about your father and Eva's plan on emotionally hurting your mother. That behavior is uncalled-for, and it is going to ruin what should be the best day of you life, up to this point. Your father is proving to you that he cannot be trusted, and that he has absolutely no respect for you, by booking the same flight as your mom's, and taking the abusive witch along. Tell your mother everything, please, so that she does not continue to try to get you to "get to know him." Good luck. OP, can we please have a post-wedding update? I truly hope that all went well and that you had a dream wedding.

[@ElCid48]

do not allow your sperm donor and his side piece at all. change your mother's flight and if they show their face at all, hire armed guard to not allow them in both the church and the reception. and than tell your dad that you are going NC with him since he went NC with you and your sister a long time ago. he can live with is side piece and let her be both his daughter and his wife since she is so young.

[@eeriecode1628]

@PuppyKatt There was an update. Short version: OP asked her father to change his flight, Eva called her and started insulting her and her mother. OP went off on her, and when her father tried to say it was OP's fault for not inviting her, she uninvited him and went no contact. Wedding went fine, OP's mother walked her down the aisle

[@CassieBear1989]

​@eeriecode1628 even shorter: daughter realizes dad's a pos and fired him from his role as "dad "

[@chamab.6800]

BIL is now trying to move the sister away from her family? The same family that is on his side and ratted her out? He’s really about to beat her f*ckin’ ass once he gets her far enough away. Sis needs to just leave him while she can. Sis wasn’t right to cheat but something ain’t right. I feel like he actually emotionally abuses her or manipulates her at the very least. And she doesn’t talk about it because she was trying to protect his pride by not talking about his impotence. She said he told her he doesn’t have anyone and he’d d1e or something without her? That sounds like manipulation. He really cares about family and not being alone but he wants to move to a town far away from everyone? That’s questionable. Sis needs to run.

[@Mewse1203]

"It wasnt abuse" Yes, yes it was Also, just because she didnt day anything doesnt mean she wasn't abused. In fact, I would expect her to not say anything because of fear of her husband. Abuse is a complex issue and not simple. Him forcing her to move back to his hometown gonna concerns me honestly

[@tgbedini]

Husband is emotionally manipulating her as well, guilting her into staying with his "I couldn't live without you" stuff. I don't blame him for being messed up, but after 12 years, he needs to accept that his marriage is over. I imagine he'll get more controlling and more manipulative with time.

[@RJLiams]

Unless you're a woman, right? In which case it's perfectly OK.

[@clownrat5759]

@@RJLiamswho said that 😂

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 2: I get what OP was getting at, but physical abuse is physical abuse and a slap across the face would be considered assault / abuse in most spaces. Sounds like the relationship is mutually unhealthy and toxic, I think it would be better for all parties if they divorced. But I don’t know all the details so… I hope they find happiness I guess

[@ynmonroe]

I knew someone would say it! OP is allowing her brotherly love (if that's all it is) for the BIL to color or blind her view of this. He slapped her due to words and not because she hit him first. Of course words can be hurtful, but that is NO excuse. The idea that it was "just a slap" is crazy. What if he punched her instead of slapping "just once"? Would that matter? Or if he threw something at her and hit hurt "just once"? What's alarming to me is that she almost made the sister's reaction to that slap sound overboard and unreasonable. I mean her emphasis on the guy apologizing and saying her sister "made his life a living hell". WTF? Either OP is in love with him or she is naive AF. Also, BIL might be impotent physically, yet should that mean that OP's sister was essentially starved? Something isn't right here. In this day and age I would have expected them to still manage to work around that. Doesn't sound like that's on the table. OP's sister needs to let this marriage go. What's the point of cheating? If you aren't being fulfilled to the point of depression and find cheating "necessary" then you don't need to be married.

[@darkmask5933]

Plus the ending made me feel ick for some reason, BIL saying he's going to move them to his hometown, seemingly planning on isolating sister so she will "behave". Even if he's not physically abusive aside from the "one time" OP says doesn't count, he sounds like he is emotionally abusive by making sister believe "if you leave me then no one else will love me". Sister basically is condemned to live in a sexless marriage with no outlet.

[@maryseflore7028]

I have the same feeling. I'm worried about the sister's mental health safety at this point. Far from her own family - I'm just waiting for a horrible update at this point. @@darkmask5933

[@pippo17173]

@@darkmask5933 How dense is op here? Like your telling me that she didnt see anything wrong here!? Women right now who cares about the cheating here when the real reality is that your adored BIL is an abuser!

[@Diegolechuga]

Yeah divorce would be a good solution. The husband needs to work on his stuff.

[@charitynordstrom5734]

First story dad is straight up evil. Go minimal contact, change mom's flight, and disinvite him from your wedding

[@look274]

Story 2: The husband said he would die without his wife and that he dosen't have anyone besides her and OP still don't see why people are worried he's abusive. He will not be fisical again knowing the wife will leave, but emotionally manipulating her to stay by using his health.... problems

[@amarysnigth7971]

I bet 1) BIL is loaded, 2) OP has a big crush on BIL

[@marymiller6188]

Story 2: So the sister doesn’t care that her BIL abused her sister but stood on a moral high ground for cheating?! Her lack of compassion spoke volumes…it seems like she wanted to punish her sister because her ex cheated on her.

[@SaltTectonics]

​@@coreymartin6486sounds like shit an abuser would say

[@aphelion4616]

@@coreymartin6486 Ah yes, because slapping someone for mere words and threatening the one you love that you will unalive yourself if they leave is totally normal person behaviour.

[@heidikickhouse-]

Personally, I don't care about the couple, they are both horrible people. But I'm fascinated by the sister. She is a portrait of contradictions and does not know herself. She is like the moralistic pastor who wants all the gory thrilling details of your sins so he can judge you appropriately. Her primary motivation is to feel good about herself, she is better than her sister and she is going to tell EVERYBODY about it whether it is their business, or her business or not. Everybody must know she did the Right Thing. She is a Right Thing Doer. It doesn't matter who it hurts, it only matters that it makes her feel good.

[@DaniS398]

So, BIL is holding his wife hostage in a sexless marriage (not his fault but still) with vague threats of suicide. Slapped her at least once (as far as the OP knows) is possessive and clingy and now wants to remove his wife to his hometown away from her family. I hope his wife is smart enough not to go with him because it is going to get so much worse for her. The OP is an idiot. Obviously the wife is the AH for cheating. She should have just left him. If he wants to end his life over that (doubtful) that's on him.

[@caseyjude5472]

Also he’s impotent but his fingers & mouth still work, right? He wants to make his wife suffer what he’s suffering, threatens to unalive himself if she leaves because he’s an abuser.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Exactly what I was suspecting. Now he wants to move so she’s isolated. She should have just left. If anyone ever gets you to stay with threats of violence, it doesn’t matter if the threat is to you or to themselves, the relationship is already over.

[@webshiva]

OP’s meddling makes her feel good, but her choices have consequences. Hopefully it won’t end in a murd3r / su2cide once her sister’s abuser realizes that isolating his wife can’t obliterate her need for physical intimacy. Once OP realized that behind her sister’s apparently happy marriage was infidelity, she should have just stepped back and gone no-contact if the knowledge offended her. Her moral umbrage doesn’t justify ruining 4 lives. As for the idea that her sister’s husband was being denied a “right to know”, I beg to disagree. He did know that his medical condition was denying his wife sexual pleasure. He knew that it traumatized her to the extent that it triggered his wife’s depression, that her wife asked for an open marriage, etc.

[@jimdob6528]

How is it not his fault? He is the reason they are in a sexless marriage. Yeah he may not be able to cure his medical issues (I doubt it. Tons of medical professionals and advancements on this specific issue in the least 5 years alone) but he is basically guilting and controlling the sister into staying married to him. Using violence, manipulation, guilt, and isolation tactics. His BS about “I will be so lonely. I have nobody.” And then says he wants to move to his hometown where his family is shows he is full of crap.

[@DaniS398]

@@jimdob6528 The sis never said if they pursued medical help or not. I'm saying the condition is not his fault.

[@bessieburnet9816]

All my money says Eva was soooooo the mistress of OP's dad. 😂

[@ynmonroe]

I believe she mentioned that. Dad was a serial cheater though. Eva was just the one that stuck. OP said it was why Eva was so controlling to him too; because she knew what he was like in relationships from experience.

[@sugakookie7985]

Ir doesn't help that mom and dad still seem to be in love with each other

[@MrBizteck]

​@@sugakookie7985in what Twilight fiction did you pick THAT crap up from ? That man is more in love with a ham sandwich than his ex wife !

[@memorysdancer]

​@@sugakookie7985wth did you even listen to the story? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@bessieburnet9816]

@@ynmonroe OP says that the dad was a cheat, but also says they don't know if Eva was a mistress or not. But I think it's obvious she was.

[@elizabethrhone5516]

2. OP sounds so self righteous. Having to tell… I wonder did she just have to yell their parents when BIL slapped sister? 12 years, no sex but they still together. BIL for sure knew there was someone. And was ok with it, as long as they pretended there wasn’t another person AND no one else knew. So know, they’re moving away from her family… something tells me that OP high moral standards tip towards BIL more than Sister. A slap is abuse, but please keep on justifying it OP.

[@Mephistofeles]

i have been on the receiving end of a knee jerk reaction of a emotional slap, twice. Do you think i was abused ?

[@lindalehr1551]

​@@Mephistofelesyes.

[@lindalehr1551]

Glad someone else found OP to be self righteous.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

If/when BIL kills the sister, OP will probably blame her for that too.

[@christophercarson6634]

​@@MaryTheresa1986If/when the sister stabs her husband while he sleeps, will you be happy then?

[@Sakuraqueen]

Story 1:The dad is definitely going to bring that "wife" to the wedding!!

[@CassieBear1989]

Nope. He got uninvited and was fired from his job as "dad "

[@deifieddata4462]

How tf did op2 leave the fact that BIL beats his wife from the thread until the edit, that's a massive detail lol. The way op described being disappointed in their sister for disappearing after he slapped her, sister needs to run far and fast from her husband and family

[@mayfields5092]

story 2 is actually wild. based on the title i was on ops side, but as it got to the “he hasn’t touched her in 12 years” i could see the sisters pov, but when op said “poor bil she left him and didn’t tell him where she was for 2 weeks” i firmly dislike op

[@sonialinsey8083]

Yeah she’s in over her head. Reddit warned her this wasn’t a safe situation. Whatever, nosey and self-righteous without an ounce of scruples sounds about right for the current generation of younger people. Sister needs to just leave her husband but it sounds like she can’t…

[@HeoBaby24]

To bad so sad she not stuck she shouldn't have cheated. And she very well knows she shouldn't stay with him but is choosing to

[@clownrat5759]

@@HeoBaby24did you ignore the part where her sisters husband is abusive?

[@spacecat1974]

@@HeoBaby24doesn’t sound like she would have had a safe place to go if she had left. Probably why she returned.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@clownrat5759 was before or after the cheating? Again she shouldn't have stayed with him

[@dm9078]

He’s not coming! Why does OP care about this awful man? Why is she letting him walk her down the aisle? Damn OP. Or we can just tell everyone and stop hiding. Loverboy’s comment and sister’s reaction tells me they have no intention of stopping. Lover boy sounds like an arrogant tool. But if what sister says is true then this may be one of those times when it is justified to keep your mouth shut.

[@ynmonroe]

This. I kept getting so irritated with her while listening. I didn't hear a single redeeming quality about this guy. Other than the fact that he's her dad what's the point? Didn't she say that he keeps taking shots at her mom and her sister? Her mom for her age and her sister because she "didn't go into a field that he can brag about"? That's not an exact quote, but close enough. Like seriously. The guy is a bully. He already proved for years that he holds this wife and their kids together well and above OP and her sister. Sure they are grown now, but they weren't when the shenanigans started. Yet she keeps trying to appease him? OP needs to really take a look at herself. She claims that her mom keeps urging her to give in so that she still has a father in her life, however it seems obvious that it's not just her mom that's on this BS. Unless it's a child that is too young to be agile or doesn't know any better or someone with disabilities, I would never let ANYONE constantly, purposefully step on me. That's what I feel the dad is doing to them. His actions are neither indicative of love, caring, or good parenting. Therefore he is worthless to her life. Her mom might be okay being a doormat, but OP and her sister need to cut it out and just live their best lives.

[@nataliescott2261]

I don’t get why mums and dads don’t walk brides both parties put the work in. Op dads deadbeat he’s not coming move on

[@hilaryc3203]

She needs surgery; surgeon to insert one backbone. She doesn't strike me as being terribly bright either.

[@remytate6498]

Yeah and instead of ops sperm donor walk-in her down the Ile have ops step dad do that he seems like a good guy

[@misskate3815]

I hope OP #2’s sister finds a good support network, leaves her husband, and pretends not to know OP if she sees her again. “Sorry, who are you? Sister? No, I don’t have a sister. I’m an orphan with no family.”

[@belantww]

Story 2: OP doesn’t seem to understand that abuse doesn’t only mean physical abuse. Her sister’s husband is definitely emotionally abusive.

[@invisigoth510]

Story 1: OP, you don’t need anyone to walk you down the aisle. Walk yourself down the aisle or have your mom do it If you know for sure he won’t show then go on & tell your mom to bring her BF Story 2: WTF!! A slap is abuse. They’re always sorry after they do it. She had every right to call him down on it

[@carolinenagel7085]

The mom walking her daughter down the aisle were my exact thoughts.

[@kyuuchat]

I was about to say that if the roles were reversed, nobody would be calling abuse. But then I saw that it happened years prior to the affair and realized that that was totally uncalled for by him. You never hurt your partner like that, ever. She still sucks for cheating, but holy shit BIL is so abusive it's horrible.

[@spockezri]

op: my sister left for a bit because she has a hard line against abuse also op: my sister wasn't abused he hit her Once!!!!!!!!111

[@sltslt24]

Story to just piss me off to a different level. From having seen women who are in abusive relationships never said that they were abusive to they were finally able to escape opiates so self-righteous. The fact that she wipes away the brother abusing her sister not only in withholding sex but also and physically violent and then makes her sister sound crazy for running away the first time it just so insane.

[@wmdkitty]

"Withholding sex"? You mean, he gets to control his own body? That's not abuse. That's a boundary.

[@botanicalitus4194]

@@wmdkittyI agree, I think BIL is an abuuser but not for withhoIding sx. I hate when peopIe act like not having sx with a partner is somehow eviI or immoraI. In this case I get why the sister cheated because she thought BIL was going to hurt himseIf if she left him but in 99% of cases if someone has a higher Iibido than their partner its on them to either suck it up or Ieave the reIationship

[@akl2k7]

​@@wmdkittyEh, when a couple is married to each other, sex is kind of a given, or at least it should be. If a married couple is not having sex with each other, something is terribly wrong, either with someone's health or the relationship in general. Of course, it should always be loving and should never be forced.

[@ReformingRegent]

Story 2: “I wanted to include all the details.” Proceeds omit the bil slapped her sister.🤦

[@carolinenagel7085]

Furthermore, OP is justifying it.

[@HeoBaby24]

​@@carolinenagel7085yah Bec the sister said something hurtful which deserve the slap

[@coolbeans194]

Story 2: OP and her parents kind of piss me off. Abuse victims do not always talk about their trauma also it has been proven that it can take up to several attempts before a victim can leave their abuser. Was the sister cheating wrong? Of course. But the fact that OP is just brushing so many other red flags under the table is concerning - Like the sister and abusive husband moving to his home town away from her familial support (if you can even call OP and her parents that) and friends that could offer a helping hand if things escalate. Everyone single one of them is in the wrong.

[@TheChampionEccentric]

Story 1: Wow. MousyShallan's dad is an immature asshat. I don't know what he thinks his behaviour is going to accomplish. Honestly, I don't know how he was even able to land a young new wife with his attitude.

[@sandyberger-r9j]

Story 2: husband gives me creepy vibes- withholding s€x for 12 years? That sounds abusive. Even if he has problems, there are other ways to make your partner happy. Sis feels too guilty to see the manipulation of her husband. He would have left her if he wasn’t more interested in controlling her and making her pay for her mistake.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 2: BIL physically abused OP's sister and she's still saying she loves him like a brother? Jesus christ

[@mztweety1374]

Pretty sure this situation is above her pay grade. Stay out of it and let the implosion happen on its own.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

Story 2, her BIL hit her sister and yet OP gives her BIL 87 benefits of the doubt. OP is very sweet on her BIL and doesn't seem to like her sister much. Only good thing is that sister is better off without her husband. Twelve years is a long long dry spell.

[@michamocha]

S2: Don't get me wrong, sister is absolutely wrong for cheating but Op is a horrible sister. Her sister is in a roxic relationship but this whole time, Op was downplaying it and defending bil despite her insisting that she's not. Something feels icky with him moving her away from her family. She needs help out of this relationship but it seems like she won't be able to depend on her family. She shouldn't have cheated but Op is naive if she thinks physical abuse is the only abuse that exists. This story was hard.

[@Qwerty95ish]

I know cheating is a horrible way to abuse someone. They are most likely both awful people.

[@Lunasera]

First story: I bet the mum initiated the divorce. That's why the dad is so hung up on her and needs to rub his new wife into her face.

[@availanila]

Holy hell, this dad is still in love with the mom. Poor, poor pathetic young Eva! OP should have invited mom's boyfriend, that plane ride would've been fun with dad seeing mom has actually moved on with a nice guy who's love language isn't infidelity and abuse.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Eva was a walking red flag from when she told him to not text his children too much.

[@ineedhoez]

Story 2: I am a staunch believer that the faithful spouse deserves to know. That being said, something about this entire situation just didn't feel right. Even before the slap information.

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: Man, its a hard situation, and I don't wanna make excuses for a cheater but the sister's husband being impotent and jealous and clingy? Like I get 'for better or for worse' I really do, but I guess that means sister just isn't allowed to enjoy sex for the rest of her life? I do not condone cheating, honestly sister should have divorced her husband if not having sex was such a big deal to her and not gone behind his back, but at the same time I understand why she did it, her husband guilt-trips her about how alone he'll be and how no one else will love him because of his condition. I also have kind of an ick feeling about the reconciliation, how husband decided for both of them he's going to move them back to his hometown so he can isolate the sister I guess. He literally said its an area where he won't have to spy on her to make sure she behaves, like again, ick. I feel really sorry about BIL's medical problems, and while sister made a selfish mistake, I don't see her as a monster. AP sounds like a total asshole tho, so I have sympathy for him.

[@pippo17173]

No wonder the sister didn't bother to tell her. She flat out knew her sister will absolutly side with her abusive husband.

[@dragb9284]

@@pippo17173I don’t like how the sister imidiatly defended the bill and said her sister made his life hell after she left him for abusing her.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@dragb9284 Right? She’s excusing his abuse.

[@dragb9284]

@@RuminatingRaptor I checked out her update and comments ow it get worse. Likes she’s arguing with people that she did the right thing and that he did not abuse her. That because she’s never seen him abuser her then there’s no abuse happening it’s wild.

[@dvonart]

"too make it fair my moms boyfriend isn't invited" Lost respect for OP there. you are making it fair to someone who disrespected you time and time again. Pitiful

[@tamsel814]

Fair is appearantly hurting decent people to avoid upsetting jerks

[@fleurpouvior2967]

You're not big on conflict resolution I see. I'm petty and vindictive with a tendency to go scorched earth, and even I can see the logic in not inviting the boyfriend.

[@dvonart]

@@fleurpouvior2967 you actually don't seem vindictive or scorched earth you seem like a reasonable person Depends on the context and if a resolution is possible. This pattern has gone on for years in the story. it's enabling and rewarding bad behavior. The actual villain of the story was coddled and learned nothing because the repeated special treatment. In the actual story on reddit she goes into more details in the comments how big a piece of shit he actually is, and they keep allowing. He brings them absolutely no joy yet they let him repeatedly come back and hurt them and the act shocked about it. The logic is someone who shouldn't even be there in the first place will get upset if the two people behaving get their way, so now everyone has to settle so this dude doesn't throw a tantrum Op admitted she loves her moms boyfriend and he is a sweetheart. She can't even invite people she ACTUALLY wants there because it would upset her dad....and what happened ? The dad lied and invited the new woman anyway in hopes he could finesse OP into changing her mind So no I don't see the "logic" bending a knee to someone like him

[@dvonart]

@tamsel814 "sure you've been good to me, respected me, cared about me and mom, and I genuinely think of tou as a father figure, but you cant come because my deadbeat dad won't like it" Fast forward to the day of and the deadbeat dad broke the rules anyway. Yeah playing fair totally worked out

[@fleurpouvior2967]

@@dvonart it plays the long game, and gives op control of the naritive. It means instead of the family shit talking op on her wedding day, or the bf at future events, they accept him faster, he's the sane one who respects othets. Op is the poor, loving daughter whos father couldn't even be bothered to honor her wishes when she did so much to keep the peace. Step mother is the entitled witch, and mom is the sweet, kind mother who completely understood and did everything to stand by her daughter. Granted, it's true, but it also clues in the people who don't already know the situation, and cements opinions with friends and families.

[@shebakoby]

oh boy. Daddy Dearest (story 1) legit sold his soul to a "Demon in the Sack" for passionate hugging. He sounds like a narcissist and so does Eva, or some other cluster of bees flavor, and Eva is controlling on top of that.

[@DestinationsChronicles]

Because of the slap (And I agree, it COULD have been a one time thing) Because of the inability for sex. Because ED totally affects BOTH partners... I would have just stepped back and waited for more info. There is always more to a story and this one seems to be missing more than a few chapters.

[@lovevamp5446]

Story 2; years in depression because of husband, he slapped her out of anger, he is controlling. The sis needs to leave him pronto! Now he is going to move to his hometown away from her family, away from her support....... this is going to end bad.

[@darlieoneeleven]

Wedding: Young lady pay to upgrade your mom to first class. That will piss them off. She deserves this. Eva deserves this.

[@EnDB]

Isn't exclusion the point? eva blocks him from spending time with his daughters, but expects to bring her to the wedding. Makes no sense.

[@aphelion4616]

S2: YTA. Remember that one thing everyone likes to say? There is always an exception to the rule? This was absolutely one of those times that keeping your nose out of other people's business should've been put into action. OP's sister is ABSOLUTELY being abused as her husband is guilt tripping her into staying with him and using his medical condition to do so. Which is even more disgusting. There are plenty of people who would happily be with him as Ace people exist and would love romantic partner with no sexual commitment. Yes, while I would've left, personally, ages ago, the info of the all the abuse OP's sister has suffered, I see why she went the route she did. I believe OP's BIL 'knew' about the affair, but was turning a blind eye. Not to mention if it WAS a sore subject, there are a plethora of other things he could've done to be with his wife, but it's not about his wife now is it? No, it's been ALL about him and his issues. I highly doubt if BIL made any effort sexually with his wife, they wouldn't be here, but I digress. However, now OP's self righteous actions because she 'just HAD to tell her BIL' have not only most likely endangered her sister, but is now, potentially, going to fully isolate her as well. OP refuses to see the abuse and, I'm afraid, may see it too late when she finds out her oh so perfect BIL killed his wife and then, possibly, himself afterwards.

[@GMWILD87]

Story 2 is a true crime story waiting to happen.

[@jaydee_0079]

RE: Sister's Cheating Regardless of everything else (the slap included) I am still not seeing anywhere anything regarding BIL looking to remedy the situation he is leaving his wife in, that of him not fulfilling her as is his responsibilities. For crying out loud, there are a plethora of stores (brick and mortar and online) that sell "Toys" that can allow fulfilment if Viagra isn't an option. His willingness to keep her trapped and torture her this way is disturbing at the very least.

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

Story 2: OP is a MASSIVE AH. OP’s sister is in a OBVIOUSLY ABUSIVE relationship. OP down played the fact that BIL physically abused sister and “he hasn’t hit her since.” BULLSHIT. I bet he hits her fairly regularly. She just isn’t telling OP because she is SCARED OF HIM. “He says he would die without her,” ah classic emotional abuse. She’s terrified to leave him because he hits hear and threatens to “die” if she leaves. She is a hostage in her own marriage and hasn’t been been intimate with him in 12 YEARS??? God forbid she cheat on her massively abusive POS husband she can’t escape from. And now BIL is going to move sister away from her family TO HIS HOMETOWN and completely ISOLATE her, and OP is acting like they did the right thing? OP is a horrible person, holy shit.

[@clairewolf6013]

Story 2: Off-Topical, maybe. But when I hear stories of erectile dysfunction leading to sexless marriages, I'm always like "ummm... But, dude, you've got a tongue. There is more than one way to have sex. What's wrong with you??" Just because your gadget doesn't work, you shouldn't allow your spouse to be miserable in that regard. Sheeesh.

[@venusbleu5764]

Throw the whole "dad" away

[@Lestaticate]

Story 1: Throw the dad and his wife of the month out. He is a liar, cheater, and a selfish braggart. OP needs to drop this POS for the sake of her and her poor mother’s sanity. He literally had ONE job to do and he couldn’t honor a simple request. It makes more sense for the mother to “give OP away”, HELL, having the freaking wedding planner or caterer walk OP down the isle would be appropriate. OP’s dad just doesn’t love or respect her like she does.

[@oompaloompa83]

Story 1: The father is so cruel. He thrives on hurting the mother. He's obsessed with her and needs her to feel distraught by his actions. I'm sure the fact that she's moved on kills him, especially as he's in a seemingly abusive relationship. I'm sure he had a lot of freedom when he was with OP's mother, hence the incessant cheating.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: If the abusive husband element is to be believed, I don’t think OP actually did a good thing. I would have made steps to separate the sister from the husband safely. Outing cheaters is great for your conscience but that’s assuming there’s a safe environment for that to happen. OP could have set off a chain reaction that gets her own sister killed. Yes, there’s fault in the sister for cheating, but in the interest of keeping my relatives safe from harm I would have gotten my sister away from the situation before terminating the marriage.

[@kumikor3392]

The fact that the sister used the BIL's "shortcomings" as a reason to cheat, I think she's the abusive one here. The sister even said BIL felt like she was the only one he could trust or depend on. Even after the conversation, he still loves her.

[@gavinhemmerlein1241]

​@@kumikor3392I think it's messy and not clear cut. Both sides could be the case. Most likely scenario based on what we know: BIL was abusive in a singular event and regretted it. It supposedly was very regretful by him. SIL was emotionally abusive in multiple events and used it as a way to justify her actions. Whatever the result, this relationship is just bad all around.

[@hi_stranger9156]

@@kumikor3392 yeah could be. I'm make this comment because the BIL slapped the sister in the past according to OP. Either way this marriage is doomed.

[@PinkMarshmallows]

I don't believe he's abusive. If OP's speculation about the argument being about sex and the sister talking down to the husband about his erectile dysfunction, then she's the abusive one and deserved that slap. And by how he's taking her back, she has broken him down so much, that he doesn't have any self-worth.

[@wmdkitty]

Wow. These replies. Anything to excuse a man's violence...

[@heidikickhouse-]

Story 1: Dad's "secretary" needs to call immediately and cancel their flight. Rebook a 2 day, 1 person, round trip for just Dad, after the honeymoon, for the following month. They'll have a lovely short visit to discuss the mix up and straighten out his priorities.

[@chamab.6800]

Story 2: The sister was dumb to go back after that slap.

[@indiashante1560]

Story 1: I'd uninvite the dad. He's a fool.

[@christelleriddick3567]

Story 2:: i think op wanted her BIL...she was too much this high horse and couldn't care less what she's going through...sister needed to get out her marriage.

[@JasperCatProductions]

I feel sorry for sister, you don’t think a slap is abuse? Yeah it is, you have no clue what he is doing. Stuck with a man who won’t touch her , he hits her and her sister is totally cool with it? Your sister should leave him and move on. Angry and jealous and can’t perform? Yeah bye. Now she has to go to his home town? Oh lord he is gonna kill her……she is a prisoner.

[@thebonusboss6038]

That’s my though she is being isolated by being moved away and op is watching it happen and thinks “this will help.” It is only helping the husband who has been emotionally conditioning the sister to stay with him no matter what he does and now he knows the sisters family will help bring her back to him if she tries to leave. It’s depressing.

[@deifieddata4462]

I was ready to declare op NTAH until they let that slip, it's crazy they thought that was a little irrelevant detail. Hope op's sister escapes these people.

[@tracicolvis7382]

Yeah and it's controlling as hell to give her no intimacy at all because he can't get off too. There are plenty of sexual things they'd both enjoy that they could do to but it's like if he can't have penetrative sex then she gets nothing.

[@TreesofValinor]

Why is she agreeing to go back? I'm sensing something even shadier than the cheating is happening here. And OP is just like yupp I did the right thing now let's wash my hands of the situation.

[@TreesofValinor]

​@thebonusboss6038 we have legitimately zero reason for why the sister would even want to stay with the husband. It's not like it's for the financial stability or the sex. It's either love or abuse or maybe shame which is weird but not really any other options for why

[@sugakookie7985]

Rescue your sister before he can isolate her, dummy a slap is abuse, he’ll be free to do whatever he wants if he drags her off to his "hometown"

[@unicron-kitten-kat]

There is an update to the last story, and it was (re)posted only 11 hrs ago:: the jist is the Sister ran away, and is most likely, safe. Op tried contacting AP, but was justly threatened with police contact if she tried contacting him or her sister again.

[@VictoriaMorganawesometori]

I'm very glad to see people talking ahout how story 2 IS abuse. And I think there's tons of emotional abuse going on. And that just because sister and husband only admit to 1 slap, doesn't mean there isn't more. And isolating her by moving her as soon as some abuse comes out. Sister needs to get out of there.

[@samanthawatkinson9925]

Story 2. Has husband sought medical advice and help?. There are many ways to have a fulfilling intimate relationship that is satisfactory for both parties. Having an affair is not the answer. If hubby just isn't into it and the wife is unfulfilled it's time to go separate ways. Sometimes love and companionship is not enough .

[@brandyanderson3522]

Seems like OP's dad realized the grass wasn't greener and hates the mother moved on. No, he wants to rub it in OP's mom's face that Eva is young, as he knows that's the only thing she's got going for her. Just let him stay over there in his dying grass eating his sour grapes.

[@devegas4910]

An update for anyone still interested in story 1 as of 19 hours ago. Op posted that she uninvited her father from the wedding. He tried guilting and DARVOing op about changing the flights, but he ended up changing them. Then the jump off found out about the flight change and called op to cuss her out. Op tried to keep it diplomatic, but the jump off started insulting OP’s mom and op then cussed her out and hung up. The next day, daddy dearest calls op to BERATE HER about yelling at the jump off and trying to turn it around on op and make this whole situation her fault, before op finally decided to just uninvite him from the wedding and declared that she wasn’t speaking to him anymore.

[@Aziara86]

Story 2: ESH Husband: expects his wife to live without physical touch, even affectionate non-sexual touch. Also, at least one instance of physical abuse, and what appears to be emotional blackmail (don't leave I'll be alone) Wife: cheating. Just leave him. Sister: tattling when you know of at least one instance of abuse. Excusing said abuse.

[@LeeLeesBanter]

Story 2- She should have minded her own business. Now she no longer has a sister.

[@spookysugar]

I hate cheaters, but... Why does OP seem to be, like, infatuated with BIL? Like she thinks he's the most wonderful man too good for her sister because he's like a big brother to her (and slapped his wife at least once, but hey, OPs sister deserved it for cheating, right? 🙄 )

[@aphelion4616]

The slap was before the cheating if the timeline OP gave is correct. Or at least before the cheating was ever brought to light. So, it was, presumably, a completely different situation. She was still manipulated in to going back to him though with his 'begging forgiveness'

[@holyek7892]

I love how the cheater gets the tight leash. The cheater deserves the wife he married. What a twist.

[@msredux]

12 years in a sexless marriage? No thank you. The sister is in an abusive marriage? Girl, help your sister get the hell out

[@amberleeannalee1999]

She’s probably a “Christian” and would turn her sis over to someone that would murder her and then still cal her sis disrespectful cause “men are the rulers of the home”. Op sucks and I hope her husbands cheating on her

[@Reiameino]

he slapped her and now wants to move her away from her family and friends. totally not abusive. what a terrible sister.

[@jessileerichy]

That sister in the last one may have had good intentions, but seemed like she respected the brother in law way more than her sister. She downplayed that slap waaaayyyyy to much. Its unacceptable. Period. Now you see the brother in law choosing to move the sister to another country instead of just leaving her. He will say it's cause he can't trust her around the affair partner. But to me it seems more like isolation. Sister said she was happy, and had been depressed and sad living in a sexless marriage, but was concerned about husband's mental state because insecurities about infertility.... sounds like both of them are trying to cater to the husband's feelings. To the point she diesnt want his to be sad if she left amd that she eent back after being slapped. She is groomed to him. I dont advocate cheating. But this husband is controlling and just won't let his wife go to be happy. Even if she cheats. Sex in a marriage isnt everything, but it is important and a fundamental part of happy relationships as well. So.... there ya go.

[@gigga143]

S1: OP is infuriating tbh. he dad blows her off and shows no concern for her and at every turn tries to berate her mother and not only does she basically keep begging for him to come to her wedding but she gives him her mom’s flight information? WTAF?!? for doing that OP is the AH, just like her AH daddy.

[@joymermaidd8ing791]

Story 1: A simple response to a parent demanding their new partner be called "Mom" or "Dad", is to off-hand mention that if that's how it works, you'll start calling your other Bio parent's partner "Dad" or Mom" immediately. ...and watch them back pedal with excuses, not liking THEIR TITLE shared with a "virtual stranger".

[@sowutsurpoint]

Story 2 I get that op did the " right" thing But idk, she seems soooo Self-righteous and also made it all about her. Idk, I dint like her. I'm not excusing the sister but I'm sure impotence would be hard to live with. I have had experience with someone being unfaithful to me and what hurt is I thought I gave them the world and fulfil all the needs and put myself second going to doing so. However, in this case, it was a very important factor that was gone. The sister suggested other solutions, and the husband said no full snot excusing what the sister did, but OP did not understand the situation she was acting out of her own.

[@ineedhoez]

Thank you. It just felt off. You would have thought that the sister was bringing her AP to OP's house for sex sessions or something.

[@m.o.4240]

Im gonna go ops story 2 Yta . The husbands he cant live without her cuz he will die is so manipulative. If sister is happier than her marriage then stay out of it.

[@RoseKoneko]

Ugh. “He just slapped her once and he was super sorry about it, her leaving BROKE him.” Then telling her that they’re moving back to his hometown. It’s just a lot of little icky things that sounds like a lot more is going on behind closed doors. She shouldn’t have cheated but I fear she’s trapped by him. Maybe threats of hurting himself, given his “no one else will love me” bullshit. It’s just gross. No good guys in the situation.

[@LibertyWolf1]

Story 2: The BIL now deserves to be cheated on. His pathetic doormat ass took her back. He should've just sent her packing. I better NEVER see him on Reddit whining and asking for advice.

[@aphelion4616]

Wait wait wait... So you're telling me, that him hitting her and her leaving resulted in him taking HER back?! Did you fully miss where he want crawling BACK TO HER after he hit her, begging for forgiveness? HE'S the doormat for continuously using his medical condition to tell her he'll be nothing and kill himself if she leaves him and he's alone. No, at that point he deserved being cheated on because he is a controlling abuser who wants his wife to suffer in the same way he is. It was never, nor has it ever been about his wife. If he cared, he would've tried other ways to keep a sex life up as there is more to sex then insert tab A into slot B. No, this all about misery loves company and now, what little support OP's sister had will be gone and he can abuse her all he wants. But great take on the situation there bed.

[@brenttaylor8907]

If he deserves to be cheated on, it's because he is emotionally manipulated her to stay in a fake sexless marriage, not because he will take her back.

[@kate4076]

story 2: I initially did the math on the ages with the OP's age and was like "SHE WAS 15 WHEN THEY GOT TOGETHER!" I realized the error but it did open me up to the idea that it may be why she loves the BIL so much. OP was young when he started dating her sister and might have idolized him in some way and is now unable to separate that from the fact that he is not a great guy. Also, I do feel for the sister because she is clearly being emotionally manipulated by the BIL and her own sister is taking his side which I am sure is not really helping her wake up to that fact. And finally, the "hard line" for abuse is not very hard if you go back to him after he hits you even once. My husband and I have gotten into a handful of pretty bad arguments over the 19 years we have been together where we have both said nasty things to each other. The arguments always end with us realizing we were not communicating effectively and admitting that while we may have not said things in the best way they are always true things that we should have just been talking about instead of bottling up until we fight. We talk it out, we apologize, come up with a plan to address the issues, and work together to make it right. Like adults who are not perfect, but want to make their marriage work. But never once have we ever raised our hands at each other. Never once have I been worried that he would. We both know that if either one of us ever does, even once, we would know our marriage is over. That is a hard line. Cheating is not the answer and the sister chose a bad way to address the issues in her marriage, but if she is being abused emotionally or physically, I can understand why she did it. I hope the sister gets some help to leave her husband and I hope OP works out whatever feelings she has for him and supports her sister.

[@chibijr544]

For story 1, OP should invite mom's boyfriend and put them in 1st class if she can't get her mom a different flight. Be the petty bridezilla

[@Jenizus]

I love cooking with this in the background. It seriously always aligns with dinner 😂

[@cheskydivision]

Op’s sister needs to get counseling with BIL. His being impotent does not mean BIL can not satisfy op’s sister.

[@questions3983]

Story 1, if she's going to allow Eva to force her way into the wedding, she better invite moms boyfriend to have someone in her corner. Make him jealous. But OP should have stood firm on not inviting him. Her wedding, not her moms.

[@sapphicgeek24]

Story 2: Yeah, the sister sucks, but "Oh he just slapped her. That's not abuse!" Nah, freak that. The minute you lay your hands on your SO in anger you lose all sympathy with me. I don't care he got cheated on.

[@pippo17173]

Well we know why the sister cheated in the first place. Look ya she sucks thinking this won't get away with this but at the same time, Op should of start seeing what is wrong with this like holy hell.

[@ZippyFromRainbow]

Story 1: The Dad clearly isnt over the Mum, even if he was the one ended their marriage and he feels like he needs to prove that hes much better off without her, hence why he always puts her down and is trying to make her and her family meet Eva. I also dont think hes happy in his marriage to Eva because shes so controlling. I believe in the phrase 'once a cheater always a cheater' and he must be pretty pissed that she always checks his phone because now he cant cheat on her with someone younger and prettier.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

This is a conversation that needs to be said in front of the step mother, that she is not welcome due to her behaviour. And then tell dad that he either comes alone or not at all

[@hungrymusicwolf]

Story 2: To the person that told OP to be silent because she'll blow her life up eventually anyways: have you forgotten all the stories of people finding out their family/friends knew of their partners affair and didn't tell them? Of the betrayal and pain they felt? OP would be betraying him if she didn't tell him, and betrayal comes with consequences.

[@rebekah.2187]

I don't know what to think about story 2. So many red flags from the husband and that slap in the context of "she disrespected him" sounds like abuse to me. Then the husband decided that he was going to take her back and move to another city, I thought, "Well, that's a good way to isolate her from her family."

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

I don’t get why the father is still obsessed with the mom. They both have someone, so why is she though? Why does he need to state the obvious about her age? And doing all that crap like rearranging his flight to be on the same one as the mom and the mom could meat Eva. This is unhinged. If he’s so happy with his new family, why does he need to be said?

[@kaidrazarc8000]

Some people can feel joy from their own success if they can compare it to another's failure OP really needs to uninvite the dad & have mum or mums bf walk her down That really stings people like this where it hurts "Mate your such a failure of a dad you own daughter would rather have your ex wife's side piece walk her down than you"

[@erickaennis2738]

Story 2. The sister needs to get a divorce. She and her husband are not sexually compatible. She wants out, then leave. He should let her go. Her needs and mental health are just as important as his. He'll be fine in time

[@thestalker67]

If abuse is an slap, so my parents basically wiping my ass for being disrespectful is extremely abusive?

[@ianesgrecia8568]

Story 2: A sibling that cover a cheater is also a cheater. If OP hides it she will 100% be sustaining cheating and if she has a SO, and they find it out, OP WILL be in trouble.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Last story Why are they still married? Op sister needs to get divorced.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

Story 1 Op is extremaly dumb, like naive, ignorant and a dormat. She is punishing a good person (mom boyfriend) to make it fair so the disgusting cheater and another abuser/cheater wont feel bad.... wtf? She should have never invited those snakes to the wedding. Why would she even want such drama on her day? It's sooo clear they are going to cause problems and abuse her mom further. And mom also needs to shush op is an adult and an adult can decide if they want a relationship with a cheating asshole or not... Forcing "kids" to have a relationship with their parents because they are parents is beyond dumb. Op father is a tool/a cheater/ignorant/bad person(her own words)/bully and who knows what else. That man sounds like psychopath , who the f would just go out of their way so much to emotionally abuse your ex-wife when it was him who cheated. It seems that he has some unresolved issues. He needs therapy not coddling by everyone

[@Nicholem718-1]

Story 1: OP really should tell her father that security knows it to let him in if he arrives with Eva.

[@richlisola1]

The cheating was wrong but she should’ve minded her own business. Who knows what could have happened!?

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: The only solution for OP1 is to disinvite that so-called parent. It's never going to end well. That person chose, and apparently chose poorly (but seems to be a serial cheater so, he really is no prize) S2: OP2 did the morally right thing and that's what matters in the end. It always pisses me off when a cheater is like "please don't hurt us." Uh, you already did, cheater. Though, OP glossing over that slap was a bit weird.

[@aphelion4616]

And you glossing over ALL of the context in story 2 is also weird, but here we are.