My Fiancee's Entire Family Got Mad At Me For Inviting An To My Wedding r/Relationships

[@Npyne]

Another update to story 1 (4 hours ago): An will be living with OP! 'Hello everyone, People have been asking me for update, and things have been busy. I've talked a lot (very a lot) with An this past week, and fortunately the situation hasn't gotten worse for her, but it also hasn't improved. We've been talking about getting her to live with me, but because she's a minor, just letting her stay with me could cause problems if her parents decide to spite me and report me, because it could be seen as kidnapping like I am removing a minor from their legal guardians supervision. We'd been looking at options to remove that problem and adoption came up, so I've been looking into that approach. At first I looked at them just signing over custody to me, but apparantly that is very difficult when I'm not family, and often only temporary. Because An wants it, I want it and her parents would rather see her gone anyway, I sent them an email about it and I think they agreed so quickly because then they wouldn't have any responsibility for An anymore. Legally there's a lot to do to make it official and it'll take a few months or longer, but because I have this in writing now, An will be moving in with me in June. It will be a bit hard at first because I don't have any say in anything until the adoption is actually done (if it actually succeeds), so I can't register her at a different school or different hospital, but we'll make it work somehow. In the meantime, I'm trying to learn sign language so we can communicate better, so hopefully that'll go well too. For my ex-fiancé, I haven't talked to him since I broke off our engagement. He has send me a lot of text messages about how unfair I'm treating him just because of someone I barely know, but I've been ignoring them (though for some reason my brain keeps trying to make excuses for him to excuse his behaviour). I'm feeling sad and a bit lost with how our relation ended because I really thought I found the one for me, but I guess he wasn't after all. I think it'll take a bit of time to really proces these feelings. I guess it kind of feels like betrayal? It's a strange feeling.'

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Thanks for the update 🙏🏿

[@debdoug4136]

Seems like OP met the ex so An could become OPs family

[@ComaLies225]

I hope the best for OP and An. ❤

[@dionysus_adores]

Good for op and the kid. The op ex can burn in many hells.

[@ZombieSazza]

God bless OP, I hope An is much happier in a loving environment, it sounds like she’ll be very loved and protected

[@alyssaorrick8819]

I once knew a girl who chose to be mute. One day I was messing around and almost fell down a ditch. She immediately asked if I was okay. That meant a lot to me and still does.

[@orionspero560]

That's actually fairly common with certain type of autistic children. If it's an artistic processing issue. Then when you've got a formula it and good of others situation. They have an answer to go to at least if they have read proper books related. For us the issue typically is converting thoughts to words which can be virtually impossible. But if you have pre worded formula a corresponse's like quote argue o k close quote then there is much less prossing

[@jamiesheerdon1321]

@@orionspero560 It's also common in abused childrenm

[@littlelavilion9795]

Being selective mute isn’t a “choice” btw it is typically something caused by anxiety or trauma where one is physically unable to speak in certain scenarios

[@NR-fg2qc]

Selective mute here. It's not usually by choice 😕

[@damien678]

​@@jamiesheerdon1321gonna get dark here, but it's pretty common for autistic children to be mistreated. If you don't know how to raise an autistic kid, there's a good chance it's gonna get abusive

[@axepagode33626]

Did Ann cry as a baby? Did she speak gibberish as a toddler? The parents are insane if they have never heard her voice, but insist that she can talk. Someone is lying about something.

[@sfsin3380]

Unfortunately the answer to that might be yes and that the problem. A lot of people think mute means completely silent. It doesn't several forms of mutism allow for sounds but not the vocal range/control for required for understandable speech. As from the update it seems this is a malformed vocal cord issue and if so An's would fall into that category. She can likely cry, scream, grunt and maybe even make not quite word sounds like a baby but that's the best she'll ever manage

[@sonialinsey8083]

The guy marrying the Indian girl: what a fking champion. He’s amazing. He didn’t HAVE to marry her, but he loved her and took a chance.

[@dre1978]

They clearly didn't listen when her doctor diagnosed her and explained what being mute is. That poor girl. The years of isolation, neglect, and rejection from her own family for something she couldn't control. I really hope OP is going to get her into therapy the minute she gets the adoption finalized Edit after finishing and relistening: holy fuck that family is just awful to the core. They had a literally professional fully explain to them "yeah you're daughter is physically incapable of making sound" and they just said nah she's just a brat that won't speak. Gods I hope OP can get her out of there

[@weareallbronies9031]

The fiance is showing OP who he truly is. She needs to believe him.

[@kaykay8855]

Do you mean leave?

[@weareallbronies9031]

@@kaykay8855 I'm referring to believing him in regards to showing his true colors.

[@kaykay8855]

@@weareallbronies9031 👌 but it’s sad because you think growing up together he would have thought that if she could talk she would have

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@kaykay8855 ableists are weird. They don't do logic.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Dear God they are isolating and abusing this poor girl! I’d end the relationship and call child protective service. These people are literally monsters! Absolutely horrible. Emotional abuse is abuse!

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@LostSoulchild89 That's what the OP made it seem like too. I think the best she can do now is keep in contact with the kid and help her to breakaway from them when she's old enough. I'm more worried that they'll try and escalate now that their behavior towards her is coming back to bite them. The OP should definitely keep an eye out in case Ann needs to make a quick escape.

[@jettanyx1]

It’s a wonder why she’s mute! I wouldn’t want to talk to this family either!

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

If this is taking place in the US, CPS can't/won't do anything unless there's physical signs of abuse and neglect.

[@kyriacarica5862]

OP ALSO NEEDS NEW FRIENDS WTF? Punishing a mute child because “they can talk, they just don’t want to”?? And they think OP should just “let it go”? WTF is wrong with them? Edit: No, OP. There is no “if you want to have another chance with me”. There is only “GTFO and never speak to, look for me, even try to share the same space with me ever again. Also, just give me your sister if you hate her so much”.

[@ItsYaBoiV]

In a totally different scenario, OP would have been the AH for going behind her partner's back and contacting an estranged relative, then inviting them to the wedding with no explanation. BUT This is totally different. This family is absolutely nuts! Dump all of them, adopt An, and both of you get far away from this family of sociopaths.

[@jstar1054]

I'd say rule of thumb is if the relative is an adult stay out of it, but the sister is 15 major red flag

[@pippo17173]

Like seroulsy, the title made it sound like another breaking boundary story and I was ready to groan but insteand, its anger and more reasons to give up on the human race being better.

[@orionspero560]

O p was certainly in the right to get someone's side of the story. I would say that inviting to the wedding straight off was kind of jumping. The gum in case it was the sister who was being manipulative. Then again the evidence was strong given that they said quote won't talk to us close quote suggesting that mute really is what's going on.

[@srkh8966]

Right! They’ve been together 4 years and this is the first time she even saw her? That means An was being completely isolated at 11!

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@memyselfandi7782]

Story 1 OP's ex fiance: "Sure we shun and abuse her because she isn't physically able to communicate, but you doing the same to me by dumping me is SO CHILDISH!" WOOOOOOOOWWWWW.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

That family is fucking insane and I have no idea what those friends are huffing that makes them think that’s somehow acceptable behavior. Glad OP called it all off and I hope they don’t take it out on An.

[@kaykay8855]

The family’s friend probably shares the ex’s family values. They’re like people who think people with allergies are picky. I wondered how An survived school if her parents refused to believe that she’s physically unable to talk?

[@sfsin3380]

Odds are he's spreading a very different story likely something like " My sister is a lying B*** who's made it clear she wants nothing to do with me, I don't want her there but OP fallen for her lies and is now is being a Bridezilla insisting on inviting the sister I'm no contact with" If he got his story out first or doesn't seem like this kind of person people might be more inclined to believe his story over OP's. Especially as it seems he's drank the koolaid and really believes that what's happening.

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@kaykay8855 An is a girl who lives in a country that's not in North America or Western Europe. Women probably aren't allowed to go to school.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@kaykay8855 I think they're just not willing to rock the boat and ruin the relationship. But that's a trash excuse. It's a good thing the relationship fell through before she got married and had kids with the guy.

[@colleens1107]

Oh good there’s an update to mute child story. I was very concerned about this situation and I’m glad An has an exit plan to get TF out of that house. And OP has kicked AH fiancé to the curb.

[@kateemma22]

That awkward moment when you realise you’re about to marry into a family of sociopaths…

[@Nope148]

Narcissists, which are arguably even worse people than sociopaths. The only worse people are both combined.

[@Reality_TV]

Amen on THIS comment Kate! Wow! They are incredibly crazy!

[@surrealistgirlx]

I looked up biological conditions related to mutism at birth. Mutism may be due to apraxia, that is, problems with coordination of muscles involved in speech. Another cause may be a medical condition impacting the physical structures involved in speech, for example, loss of voice due to the injury, paralysis, or illness of the larynx. These jackals are sociopaths. It's great that OP is learning sign language. There are online groups for the deaf community. I don't know about the mute community but I've heard so much about love & acceptance in the community. I am cheering for An & OP!

[@ZombieSazza]

As a child abuse survivor, my advice is to RUN from this family and DO NOT marry into that family, and to also call social services or some professional service. I’m a disabled adult, my disabilities have gotten worse through time, I escaped home just when I turned 19 with help from a young persons charity. Despite being professionally diagnosed with cPTSD and permanent nerve damage, having several surgeries for the nerve damage, being in pain every waking second, taking very powerful pain meds just to cope every day, relying on a walking cane to move around and I’m mostly bedridden and housebound due to my nerve damage, my biological mother would angrily tell people “she’s not disabled.” One of the last conversations I had with her before cutting all contact for my own sanity was on a Facebook post, of all things, I was discussing my disabilities and venting how I used to be so able bodied and strong and now I was angry and heartbroken my body struggled carrying anything, I was mostly bedridden and I struggled with simple things because of my nerve damage, I was just venting and folk were listening saying “it’s okay to be upset you’re disabled, it’s okay to be upset at your body”, and my mother came barrelling into this Facebook post “MY DAUGHTER IS NOT DISABLED” The whole tone of the post then changed, instead of my annoyance at my bodies many failings we all pointed out that yes, I AM disabled, I’ve been telling her for YEARS I’m disabled, that I’ve professional diagnoses for cPTSD, for my nerve damage, that I’m legally blind, that I’m autistic, and how these ARE in fact disabilities. She then argued with the line “no daughter of mine” and folk were genuinely bewildered. Those who’d known me since childhood already knew this behaviour and attitude from my mother, she was trying to gaslight me and make me question my own sanity and reality, friends who didn’t really know her wanted to know why she couldn’t and wouldn’t accept that her adult daughter was in fact disabled. The answers? Attention, it’s in my head, and my disabilities weren’t real. To make it worse she’s a pharmacist, she absolutely knew the strength of my pain meds and what those pills were for, yet she still told me I was making it up “for attention”, that I was lying, that I wasn’t really disabled, and that it was just all in my head. The second to last time I saw her was when I was staying at my brothers home, it was meant to be a wee visit for a few days. My mobility got extremely bad and despite her knowing I was in pain every waking moment… I was screamed at, shamed, told outright I was a burden and “ruining” her day, where I was forced to lie on the floor if “you truly are in pain, lying female dog”. She locked the guest room door, her bedroom door, and hid the sofa cushions so I couldn’t even lie on it. I spent the day lying on the floor which caused my pain to get worse and booked bus tickets home (thank god for disability bus pass, free countrywide travel) for the next morning. When she got back she was starting to scream at me as soon as she was in the door before she could see me, and when she did see was still lying on the floor? “Oh you should’ve said something” “I did, you ignored me, screamed at me, told me I was lying and told me to lie on the floor” “Well you should’ve said something” This weekend was what made me cut contact, along with my mother trying to withhold my meds after she invited herself to my house and I was too afraid to tell her not to stay. After she tried withholding my meds which I managed to get by phoning my doctors and pharmacy ahead of time realising meds had been going missing around my house, she went mental, how I was just making things up, how I was doing things for attention, how I was again “ruining her life”, how I didn’t need them, I had enough and stood up to her which apparently terrified her. I threatened to call the Police, something that scared her because I knew a LOT of the local cops (they’d known me since I was a kid, unsurprisingly because of said abusive childhood) and she KNEW they hated her for the way she’d treated me throughout life, she knew I was close with some of them who treated me like a daughter, and she knew I was NOT messing around, and I promised that if she wasn’t out of my house and my life within the next 5 minutes then I’d physically remove her myself, reminding her that whilst I might be crippled I WILL use all my strength to get her out my house. She screamed the whole time how I “obviously wanted her dead” and other manipulative statements meant to guilt trip me, but I was just done and wanted her out my life. I was made to feel guilty for being disabled when my disabilities did not affect her life in any way, I hadn’t lived with her since I was 19, I was an adult relative visiting and treated worse than dirt for something that doesn’t even affect her life, and she decided to stay in my home and try and withhold my meds purely because she could and refused to believe I am actually disabled. That’s the kind of family you’d have been entering, OP, that’s the kind of abuse this poor wee mute lass will face, this is the kind of hate that will stick with her forever. You NEED to get this girl help, you also need to give witness statements where applicable regarding the abuse you’ve witnessed and save any written correspondence regarding the mute wee lass so you’ve proof. Sadly disabled children whether 15 or in my case 24 for the above, we are treated horrifically by the people who are apparently meant to love us but are treated with such harsh hatred for simply being disabled.

[@neyona1173]

Can you get a restraining order on her? Is it possible she would have power of attorney over you if you were unable to communicate with medical staff? I think you can make sure she wouldn’t have power of attorney, but it might need to be explicitly set who has it and that she does not

[@damien678]

I also have cPTSD, autism, and I have body-wide pain consistently from Fibromyalgia Power to you. I'm glad you got out and have a good support system. I was able to escape my abuse at 20 with the help of my boyfriend. Unfortunately I also had to deal with homophobia and transphobia. My mum isn't nearly this bad, though. She has gaslit me in the past and my therapist had to tell me that's what she was doing, but she's been in therapy for a few years now and has noticeably gotten better

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1: holy guacamole please DO NOT MARRY THIS GUY. At first I thought maybe An was a product of infidelity but they’re treating her like that over a disability she can’t control!?!?! Marry this guy and you’ll marry into a family that’ll treat your future children like this if they’re not perfect

[@DaniS398]

Even if it was an infidelity thing, that is also something she couldn't control.

[@rubymeaddle]

Even if she was an affair baby you absolutely do not take that out on the child. You can decline to have a relationship with them but you cannot abuse them.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

And how would he and they treat op if she had an accident? 😮

[@marshawargo7238]

@@paulagoeringer9466 This is exactly what I came to say! OP ends up being "somehow" disabled due to an accident & They will decide to put her in a home or the attic!!!

[@kyb3rcrystals]

my first reaction to them having a secret daughter that’s excluded from family events was “that’s some cinderella type shit”

[@elizabethcox5911]

Drop the friends too. It's ridiculous for them to side with the fiance and his family over OP. They're just as bad as the family who won't accept their own child because of a disability. As a mom, I can't believe that a mother could withhold their love from their child.

[@KCohere33]

This poor child! It never occurred to them to get her help to find out why she is mute? Instead, they try to pretend she doesn’t exist. Her entire family is abusing this child. Oh my god, and people are siding with the parents?! This family is not worth marrying into. They’re monsters. ETA: okay, her mutism is a birth defect. It makes what they’re doing to her even worse.

[@ComaLies225]

Yea it really does. Hope An can get away from that so called family as soon as possible.

[@HubiKoshi]

That's the thing, they don't think she is mute. They see a disability as some kind of moral failing and so refuse to accept that their daughter has one. They are a "Normal" family and things like this don't happen to "Normal" families.

[@katie6731]

Story 1: OP didn't just find out who her fiancé was, she also found out which of her "friends" are monsters who would ignore an ab_sed child to kiss up to child ab_sers. I hope she ditches all of the awful people in her life and rides off into the sunset with her adopted daughter--An--and the decent people who are rooting for them and offering support.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Holy shit with parents like those who needs enemies

[@Npyne]

Story 1:NTA. JFC, OP would be an AH to herself if she marries into that family. Poor An. Who treats their own child like that?! I've only got as far as she's 15 and mute but I'm already voting nta. I hope OP reports them to child services.

[@dionysus_adores]

Exactly she's a mute 15yr old that's obviously being abused. She had never said a peep to anyone, which brings me to question how long has this been going on

[@alyzu4755]

Dear G-d, this is horrifying! I really, REALLY hope OP calls Child Services, or someone who can help. That poor girl is being horribly abused by her family. As a mother of 2 kids with disabilities, one of whom is non-verbal, this makes my blood boil. Update: Im so glad An is going to live with OP!

[@pippo17173]

Sounds like op was the battering ram to help An.

[@jimmyjohnjuan]

What's the "- " dash for?

[@alyzu4755]

@@jimmyjohnjuan It's a Jewish tradition.

[@HackiePuffs]

Oh my dog I thought they were just punishing An for being a moody teen or an introvert but it’s so much worse!!! That poor girl 😢

[@Monada79]

Story about the arranged marriage. i would not have my guard down. the family are pissed off at the daughter and want to get "their honour" back so they going to send someone or even do it themselves to "get it back" Op and wife need to leg it! hearing the final update.. thank the gods they left the country and their friends are supportive.

[@notajetplane]

Forced marriages are barbaric. I hate people that hide shitty behavior behind culture. Taking away Someone's inalienable rights is wrong no matter the culture or religion.

[@lexiburrows8127]

'Inalienable Rights' don't exist in most of the World. Everywhere is NOT the West. In these other Cultures, it is considered that what they are doing is correct and moral. People in the West also have to be very, VERY careful because the way the West is going, Westerners are giving away their Rights hand-over-fist as we speak. THIS is why Free Speech is so important.

[@FrozenCampbellSoup]

@@lexiburrows8127forcing someone to marry someone 2 times their age is barbaric no matter what culture, whether they are Indian or an American Christian fundamentalists

[@camellia8625]

I greatly fear for the safety of the two lovers in story 2. I think they may need to discretely relocate and take measures not to be traceable.

[@glyndarling]

As a person with VCP, story one made me weepy. I cannot begin to communicate the hair ripping frustration of being "heard" with no voice. And I -can- speak...some. You can't hear me over a box fan, but it's something. That poor, poor child.

[@jaimefisher6567]

That first one literally starts off like a fucking horror movie.

[@brianlawson3757]

Whoa! That is some straight up V.C Andrews type crap going on in that family. Glad to hear OP dumped her rotten fiancé and is adopting Anne.

[@orionspero560]

I was thinking doctor mangola but we're on the same page.

[@GlucoseGuy]

Yeah fiance in story one showed who he and his family were. And the fact that they all doubled down on their decision is just mind blowing. Good on OP for standing up for An and rescuing her from that situation .

[@gothicanimegirl44]

"My son broke his leg and wants to use crutches to get around. I keep telling him that our family does not accept handouts and that he needs to pull himself up by his bootstraps. Hes not allowed to be part of the fsmily until he bucks up and walks." Like jesus put it with any other disability and its so obvious how evil they are. The same way you wouldnt force a kid to walk on a broken leg you shouldnt force a child to speak. Disabilities are valid and they are not a burden or something that should ever be punished.

[@aceanarchy5554]

For a year I chose to be mute and it carried over a lot more than I thought. I went through a bad situation that made me feel like I needed to never speak again. And I didn't, until the girl who caused that bad situation, who i hadn't interacted with that whole time, came to me herself and broke down in front of me and begged for me to forgive her. It was like a weight lifted and I could finally speak, though I had to work hard to be able to do so. But I can't speak all the time, for some reason it's stuck in a way. There will be days where I can't speak, no matter how hard I try, for the whole day or a few hours. I work in therapy to try and recover from it.

[@keyboardwarrior3702]

Soudns like a win-win for OP. She ditched the dumpster fire fiance just in time, and got a new sister.

[@Taecoconut]

I would drop the fiancé after hearing that - cos it’s abuse and OP needs to drop the friends who said to just leave it cos it will cause issues. SMH

[@jackieraulerson2005]

Glad to see the update. Good for you OP, I wish you and An good wishes.

[@tamarasmith9060]

What? Before leaving the cafe she should've called social services & then sent her fiance a breakup text. He doesn't even deserve an in-person breakup if he condones what his parents are doing. Sadly, OP says where they live social services is likely a worse option than the teen continuing to be emotionally abused by the parents. It makes me equally sad & angry that places like that still exist. I hope that OP does end up getting her out of the parents' custody & with themself or another caring home.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Wait, she's 15. So they've been doing this to her for YEARS and no one reported them? Did she never go to school? A doctor? How has this neglect and abuse gone on with no intervention by anyone? WTH?! This is bizarre.

[@tuxedopenguin8953]

My guess is that this ENTIRE story is fake. I mean, this isn't the first time a Reddit user made up a story for attention. Hell, if it ain't, then OP is intentionally leaving something out.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

@@tuxedopenguin8953 either that or it's in another country. But, yeah it's really off.

[@tuxedopenguin8953]

@Paula Goeringer Off indeed. Like there is NO WAY a child is gonna be treated that way for 15 years and not have friends, families, teachers, doctors, or anyone at all call the authorities. And another thing, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY OP didn't know that whole time. Even if An was in her room a lot, OP had to have heard something.

[@sfsin3380]

@@tuxedopenguin8953 Op say CPS in her country isn't very good. Unfortuntily In a lot of places as long as they feed, cloth and send her to school and don't physically harm he CPS won't do anything.

[@tuxedopenguin8953]

@sf sin Even if that was the case, someone would've still noticed and called the authorities.

[@SpookiCooki]

My brother was selective mute growing up. He spoke until he was 2 then something happened and he didn't speak to anyone outside of the immediate family for 10 years. He haaaated this blockage. But he couldn't get past it. So I can't even begin to imagine how immensely difficult it would be to try when you've been born that way. And on top of that live in an abusive household where you're singled out as the black sheep. In that envionment it's impossible to find a voice.

[@thefruitsong]

"i shouldnt stick my nose in their family business." Oh you mean the family she's MARRYING INTO?

[@ariste01]

I remember growing up an awful lot of Hmong girls disappeared between middle and high school. I still wonder about them though it's been almost 30 years.😢

[@bl12]

How dare you be a sinful child and no longer have your V card! What we as your parents shall do is marry you off to a 60+ year old man without your consent . Yes this is a good plan. SMH

[@YourShadowKeeper]

1st story: A lot of parents (and extended family such as grandparents) have issues with a child in the family either being born with a disability or sustaining a disability. I used to work at an organisation for people with acquired brain injuries, and the number of parents that couldn't understand that once someone has damage to their brain it's permanent. It was kind of equal parts frustrating and heartbreaking watching them repeat "but the hospital said they're fine now.. they said they're fine!". Yes, while they are medically fine.. they are still disabled and hospitals should start telling families that fact when they know there's either a high likelihood or undeniable proof of that fact. Then it's a case of working with the family to not only accept the reality that their child has a permanent disability, but that it's not the end of the world, the kid isn't doing XYZ on purpose/because they're an arse, and yes, if the kid & family work at it, there's every chance the kid can still live a fulfilling life. It was often harder for the parents to accept than it was for the kid who had been disabled. They need to mourn the loss of the child they thought they'd have, and accept the reality that the kid before them is alive, healthy, and may still go on to achieve amazing things and live a fantastic life.

[@nilianstroy]

Story 1... In fairness Ann also saved OP. Had she not found about her, she would have married into a family of abusive sociopaths.

[@SteviiLove]

The person at 9:56 really has nailed pretty much my entire existence.

[@modestyblaise5895]

Story 1. Why would anyone want to marry into a family so mentally challenged? Run, girl, run! And take An with you.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 1: Wait wait wait wait stop wait stop... She's mute... they know she's mute... and you've seen how they treated her... and you are only inviting her to the wedding. Honey, don't invite her to the wedding because you should not be marrying that man or into that family. Da Fuck!?

[@platinum_noelle]

That sounds like the type of family that would demand a deaf child to listen to them because they're "choosing not to hear" or claim a blind child is choosing not to see. Ableist POSes. I hope OP is able to get that poor girl out of there.

[@jaccat4336]

Decent parents really do make all the difference. I suddenly became mute at age 3, stopped talking and would cry when asked something. Turns out I had a rare seizure disorder that caused me to forget how to speak and I had to relearn. I can’t imagine how awful life would have been if my parents just decided I was faking it and ignored me.

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

Op needs to call off the relationship! What happens if op has a car accident and ends up in a wheelchair? Does op genuinely believe her fiance would stay by her side? He WILL cheat and he WILL divorce her because she will be defective in their eyes

[@ivorynk752]

4:31, braces would probably be okay because they are only supposed to be for a few years temperary. Glasses are more common in general so people tend to be more accepting, plus it might make you look smart. However this family strikes me 100% as the type to tell a depressed person to "Just get over it"

[@coreymartin6486]

"She doesnt want to be part of the family"......"shes NOT allowed to join family trips". Those two sentences are contrary and OP was right in digging deeper. Op should have bailed when she found out that her fiancee was complicant with his parents.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NTA, if someone is willing to shun their disabled family member, they'll 100% abandon their SO if they become disabled or sick!

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Or worse, lock her away isolated and miserable.

[@t44beck10]

It's so interesting hearing about people of other countries having so similar and very different issues.

[@theresaschuebel5151]

My oldest has ADHD and my youngest has anxiety and OCD and some people have thought they were faking it to get attention. My oldest hasn't had a problem with telling people off both for her own sake and her baby sister

[@PhoenixInFirestadium]

As a former selective mute my family/home was the only place I talked. I didn't even talk to my aunt. My grandma was my rock. I had thoughts of not wanting to live anymore. If my family would have been that way I think I wouldn't be here today. It's really really hard because you want to talk but it's like something closes up your throat constantly. When you try to force it it gets even worse and you constantly struggle with the thought "What is wrong with me!?" I didn't get help either because I grew up in the 80s/90s and no one knew anything about mental issues that weren't obvious. So glad I left that behind now with working hard on myself with a lot of patience. I love how OP treated the girl. I had a few friend back then who went with me constantly writing down the answers because that's the only way I could communicate. I felt less abnormal. OP is a keeper. Keep the mute girl but throw the whole rest of the family away. Which she did according to the newest update. I'm so happy for them both!

[@BonazaiGirl]

I’m glad that OP broke off the engagement after seeing how awful they treated An. Seriously, throw the whole garbage family away. To shun her for her disability and treat anyone like that is gross, to put it mildly.

[@EvolvingChaos]

I'm really hoping that Story 1 evaluated those friendships that say they're overacting. Like snip snip cut those BS people out

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: Holy Molly, NTA, but you have way bigger issues, DO NOT marry into a family who would hide an entire child because they are disabled, also call CPS. Story 1 (update): Good you found out how insane him and his parents are before the wedding, and decided to leave him. Story 1 Update 2) (not included): Hope everything goes well with the adoption, and that the damage to "An"'s mental health is not sever. You are a frigin super hero.

[@Nope148]

Reason no.32759 why narcissists are to be regarded as enemies of society. This first family is absolutely narcissistic. They go to abusive lengths to give off their idea of "perfect family". The moment it's questioned, they go insane. A tale as old as time.

[@cpaul9269]

story 1 - WTF?! I'd be calling CPS and calling off any association with this horrid group of abusers!!! OMFG!

[@agentzapdos4960]

S1: Unfortunately this is how most people think of disabled folk. Especially in third-world countries, like where this story takes place. S2: You're never truly safe from traditionalist families and religious honour killings. Even if you live in a "Western" country your family can still get you dragged back home and killed. This is what happened to an Arabic transgender person who lived in the United States. She was forcibly transitioned back to her birth sex, forced onto a plane back to Saudi Arabia, and then killed. They could infiltrate OP's bodyguards and kill his wife REALLY easily.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

America is no better. They used to institutionalize all people with disabilities. They don’t fund them in third world countries because they don’t have a social culture to care for those with disabilities. We still do it in nursing homes. 2 young CNA’s care for 30 plus clients (residents) yet we haven’t pushed to put them in residential homes. America still mistreats its disabled. Especially in red states

[@Feynix4]

That is freaking terrifying

[@AmyRuby]

Wow. Just wow. Call the police please!

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Honestly in cases like this where there is no cps and no one to call the help the child she should help the child run away and move in with her. Normally I am not for such a drastic measure but something needs to be done in this situation. Just because something is illegal doesn't mean it's morally wrong and just because something is legal doesn't mean it's morally right.

[@agentzapdos4960]

Third-world country. The police are on the parents' side. They would just kill An.

[@BillSmith-ut5li]

This family should be exposed on social media. Shame That's what's making these people act this way is that they're embarrassed and ashamed of there's own cha so they're in denial. Expose watch the change. Also send them all the reactions you got on this site. Unfortunately this is probably one of those parts of the world where it's if you can why not . Not realizing that they need to lift their head up from their bowl.

[@GIChiyo]

Story 1: Do you want to marry into a family that so easily abuses their children???? YTA if you marry this guy, maybe take the girl in too

[@sarahraisingmyvoice]

Story 2 sounds like the start of a documentary on honor killings. Call authorities immediately if in a western country. Many have special units to protect young women in this situation. This is no joke.

[@low-keydrama1260]

Story 1: makes me wonder if OP and the ex got married, what would've happened if they had a child that was disabled like An

[@kaykay8855]

They’ll say it’s op’s fault because there’s no way that their genes would be a factor. SMH.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

Omg. I'd be calling social services immediately

[@ce731]

CPS needs to be notified immediately!!!!

[@poohbear4515]

S1: If OP stayed in that relationship, she would most definitely be the asshole. Just like those heartless child abusing family. I hope An gets out and never responds to them. Actually, I hope they’re suffering so much their begging An to help them, and she will kick them out the way they did to her.

[@hvymax]

But her family has to do the "Honorable Thing"!!! Why is this culture allowed to exist???

[@agentzapdos4960]

There's no place on Earth that's safe if you're descended from one of these ultra-conservative traditional religious types. They will scour the globe to find you, and they WILL find you. They will have thugs threatening you to intimidate you into submission, and they will have people pretending to be your friend to let your guard down so they can kidnap you. They will have lawyers, doctors, police officers, politicians, and airlines all on their payroll to ensure their daughters are returned to being their property. A family in Saudi Arabia successfully tracked down, detransitioned, deported, and killed their kid because she went to America and came out as a transgender woman. If you don't submit to religious conservative values, you WILL die.

[@Mitsubachi2529]

Story 1: Why in the hell would you even *want* to marry into a family like this? This story can't be real 🤨

[@LT-hg7fc]

The couple from India need to stay vigilant. That family could just be planning for a future action.

[@naturalPaths]

Oh, gosh. I’m going out on a limb here at 1:08 into this video. I am speculating before watching: Ann is fiancé’s daughter, not sister. Let’s see.. Edit: how wrong I was! Better she should have been a daughter. OP, run. 2:37

[@strawberrysangria1474]

This sounds so cultlike. Even from the start with no pictures and "if she won't be a part of our family, she can't come". She's 15 and doesn't have the resources to not be part of the family or to run away. I'd fear for OP's safety if she stayed too. The family doesn't understand that their mute child can't speak, what else don't they understand and treat with such hatred?

[@kaykay8855]

Well remember that op and her ex are from another country, and depending on the country invisible and mental disabilities are not recognized or ‘just don’t exist’ to them.

[@TheVeggiekat]

At one point in middle school I tried seeing how long I could go without speaking to anyone. I wouldn’t ignore anyone I’d just wait until someone spoke to me. It was three days before I gave up because I needed stuff for school and had to ask.

[@nejet2188]

I called from that text message I thought they locked her up 'flowers in the attic' style. Without the siblings just the soon to be husband. Beware of honor killing

[@HubiKoshi]

Holy crap call CPS like Yesterday

[@browniewin4121]

1) Wow those are some crazy horrible parents. Shame on the fiance for being one of the abusers of his sister, and not sticking up for his fiancee. Sad to say but OP needs to realize he is awful just like most members of his family and break it off. OP NTA unless she thinks the problem here is a wedding invite instead of realizing fiancee needs to be dumped because he is a horrible person, and OP should contact the appropriate authorities to report the abuse of his sister. After update: It is good the sister is smart, and competent, and realizes she needs to just get away from them. I'm also glad OP has dumped the disgusting fiance but continues contact with the sister and offered her a better place to live. 2) It is sad this girl did not realize her own worth and realize she does not have to be forced into telling her parents her business and not be marriage she does not want. It's good she was smart enough to play along til she could make her escape. After update: I'm glad OP's girlfriend got away from her family, that she is getting therapy, and that they are now happily married and can make a good life for themselves. It's good OP has cameras and documents, be careful, her family sounds deranged and dangerous. After final update: Happy to hear OP and his wife had moved away, far away, and that they are very happy together. Good they are still keeping security to be on the safe side.

[@standinthegsp6858]

Op, this is CPS level nuclear reaction time.... if Anne has been mute for a long time think how long the abuse has gone on. Dump the fiancé, dump his parents, keep Anne. Try & go for full custody if Anne agrees to live you.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 1: This has to be an Indian family! Being of Indian descent, I will attest to the fact that they are extremely ableist in this manner! Not to mention the fiance's diva-like attitude. He reeks of sonny boy attitude! So very happy for the above update. I am sure that the family will want her back if she ends up with money. Story 2: If you think honor killings are screwed up, research punishing a family by g-rpg their daughter. Yh. Screwed up for sure!

[@kaykay8855]

Good damn

[@jacquimaclennan3254]

An’s family are the kind that, if they could, they would put her in a psychiatric facility and forget all about her.

[@randomusername3873]

So op is absolutely in the right, but what is her end goal exactly? Did she really think the family would suddently accept the person they refuse to interact with? How And how do you find out what they are doing to that kid and your biggest problem is "my husband doesn't want her at our wedding"

[@thedevilsworkshop7720]

Story one is just absolutely insane . Op needs to run and not walk away from this family . These people are toxic as hell . Call child protective services to try to help this poor kid . Jeesus . 😮

[@Divcia86]

Story 1: even if An's mutism is not caused by a physical defect it doesn't mean she's faking it. Her family sounds awful - voluntary mutism may be an outward symptom of mental anguish.

[@NelleBoogie89]

This story is insane! Who does this?! I’m still on the 1st part but I hope OP takes Ann and leaves the rest of them

[@camellia8625]

It is despicable Anne is treated in this way. I wouldn’t want to marry into the family.

[@breannashell3799]

Holt sht... The first story gives me "flowers in the attic" vibes.

[@SherriLyle80s]

This sounds lime Flowers in the Attic lol😂

[@venn6099]

Op never trust her family even after 10-20 years. There are so Many honor killings that happened like that.

[@alsinakiria]

People who don't believe others's disabilities are usually bad people in lots of other ways. I cut my aunt off permanently this week. I should have when she tried to tell me my disability doesn't exist. I still spoke to her for a few years after that. Worst mistake I ever made. Never should have given her a chance. People like that are just bad people.

[@tawanawatson3052]

Someone needs to call adult protective services for poor Anne. She needs to be immediately removed from that house! What kind of human garbage treats a disabled person like that? TRASH!

[@ondank]

Leave the guy. Keep An

[@amemooress6291]

Story 1 - Obviously OP needs to leave that relationship, but I want to know who these friends are that weren't SUPER FUCKING ALARMED about this family who disowned someone for being mute.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

S1: RED FLAG! RED FLAG! RED FLAG! Dump this man and get the hell away from this family!

[@selinalee1077]

Oh my GOD. Although extremely rare, born with the disability of being mute is an actual thing, this family is bonkers

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

The seven year age gap when OP is only 25 was the first eyebrow-raiser for me. And then I saw An's age and wondered what a kid could have possibly done to deserve this treatment from her entire family. The fiance and his family are _terrible_ human beings. I wouldn't want to marry this dude, and god forbid any kids they have are born with disabilities. Nothing about any of this will go well if OP continues to involve herself with them. People like this make me wish hell was a real place.

[@axepagode33626]

There is a condition called Selective Mutism. There is nothing physically wrong with your vocal cords, but your brain won't let you talk. You can talk. This mostly happens with little kids. Often it appears as extreme shyness in children. Tickle and puppy therapy works on children because it makes them laugh. Eventually, they grow out of it. On the occasion, it persists into adolescence and adulthood. As an adult it is treated like an anxiety disorder. Cognitive behavioral therapy is part of it. The person already feels isolated. More isolation will make recovering worse, not better. If the family is acting this way, they must know that her muteness is selective and not permanent. They are probably part of some trauma that made her stop talking. OP, your husband and in-laws need to make their treatment of An make sense. If they can't, you can't marry into this family.

[@raebauer2422]

They state later in the video that a birth defect caused her to be mute.

[@NiMissNi]

According to the parents (which you can see at 7:00 ) , she physically can't make sounds so this isn't even selective

[@axepagode33626]

@@raebauer2422 This makes everything worse. This means that she has never spoken. She never cried out loud as a baby. They have never heard her laugh. This is not looking good for the parents.

[@axepagode33626]

@@NiMissNi If it is not selective, then what is wrong with the parents?

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Abuse and trauma also cause it I think?

[@nightdweller6446]

S1 NTA and oooh, boy that family is dysfunctional without the fun. They are AWFUL. Instead of dropping fiance and filling a CPS report as to Ans abuse. Update: best possible outcome with OP taking her in. I repeat that that family is despicable

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Hey Markee 👋 Have a great weekend 👍 Have a great weekend everyone 👋🤗