The Guy I'm Seeing Has A "Serious" Girlfriend I Wasn't Aware Of! r/Relationships

[@somedragonbastard]

Story 1: Op is outright delusional. She was never a girlfriend. Story 2: WTF is wrong with the ex? How is kissing a kitty a precursor to cheating? I'm aromantic and I kiss kitties on their little heads because they're wonderful

[@scousemouse9566]

I agree with you on both stories it's a WTF to both

[@unknown_wonder]

My cat loves giving me kisses (just licking me to death) and cuddles, it's just a special bond we have to our little fur babies- People who dont have pets may not understand that though

[@damien678]

"kissing a kitty is a precursor to cheating" not... not unless the ex seriously thought op...... was into animals? which feels incredibly insulting

[@sheenawarecki92]

I have a long term partner and we both kiss our kitties and puppies. Honestly anyone saying thats a precursor to cheating is a giant red flag to run from

[@Ally.81]

I honestly don't like cats(dog person here), but I will never find it weird kissing a cat or let her sleep in the room. Tooth brush yes she should get a cover for the head.

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 2: The boyfriend legit said that kissing her cat is a slippery slope to cheating! 🤣 I can't imagine what he'd say if she kissed a family member on the cheek.

[@LunaP1]

The dude is crazy.

[@AndyyWithAY]

He's completely crazy. And she's probably told him about how she feels everyone thinks she's a cheater bc she's bi, so it was doubly hurtful

[@mbyerly9680]

He thinks kissing pussy makes you promiscuous. Snicker.

[@catandrobbyflores]

@@mbyerly9680 was looking for this comment!🤣

[@rolandhansen812]

Of course, that would be a slippery slope to incest. Better be careful there. Show no affection of any kind to family, you KNOW where that leads.

[@rahulmodi8706]

Story 1: OP has the potential to be a stalker / home wrecker. The real girlfriend is so caring to give her closure. But OP has the nerve to ask her if she can get back with the BF! Lol.

[@annabellehe4307]

How is she a homewrecker lmao

[@Ambidexter143]

Stalker was my thought as well.

[@naturalbaby]

She just give me pathetic side chic vibes.

[@MdMzzz]

@@annabellehe4307 If you really need it explained, potential = having or showing the capacity to develop into something in the future. She was trying her best to get her claws into a man who is in a serious relationship and the only reason she told the GF is because she was trying to split them up so she could get with the guy. The title of the post could have been "how do I get a man who is in a serious relationship to dump her and get with me".

[@robertx8020]

@@MdMzzz this And she found out he was rich ...the fact that she even mentioned is also telling! I think the guy made a good decision to block her. And I hope for him it will stay 'potential' but I doubt it

[@CharlesGriswold]

Story 2: Guy freaks out about having a cat around, equates kissing a cat with cheating, and then calls _her_ crazy? Damn.

[@jakemarie828]

Yeah the people calling OP a crazy cat lady are all drinking the Kool-aid as far as I'm concerned

[@cmg8376]

Story 2: OP changes the cat's name for anonymity and then two minutes later posts pictures of the cat. I think they're both a little off.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

@cmg8376 A year ago I was interviewed for a local newspaper. I also told them not to put my name in there, but my picture was fine. A picture is quickly forgotten by people, a name sticks to the article forever. People only need to Google it. It's even easier with the cat. Had someone close to her recognised the cat OP could've always said "wow that cat really looks alike! Maybe they're related." Had she added the picture and the name, denying would've been a lot more difficult. And I also doubt many people will recognise someone else's cat. My parents have a black and white cat, and my best friend aswell, but there's so many cats like that it's hard to tell from a random pic on Reddit if that's my friend's cat or not. The same with OP's black cat.

[@awkwardpotato8016]

"how dare you continue to show affection to your pet of 4 years, when i, some dude you've been seeing for 2 months, told you to stop" seriously where did this guy think this was going to go lol

[@owl7072]

Story 3: No because why did I picture the dad going in to the Ex's house while the ex was eating dinner, grabbing one end of the table, and just start dragging it out of the house (dinner plate, silverware and everything still sitting on it) all while just looking his son dead in the eyes as he goes "You don't deserve this damn table"

[@Logitah]

You had me chortling out loud! 😂 The dad sounds determined enough to do so.

[@cuzican1902]

I didn't picture that before but sure as shit do now! That's frigging awesome!

[@NottyAries]

😂😂

[@DgShadowChocolate]

See, now the core of the issue isn’t that she was kissing a cat, but instead the fact that she was giving affection to something that wasn’t him. Lol, also the logic that we “shouldn’t kiss the top of a cat’s head because they roll around on the floor” ; if that’s the case, then humans shouldn’t kiss each other either, because we just get everywhere.

[@CRSB00]

well it is unhygienic to kiss any pet specially near the mouth because they usually lick their butts and anything else or pee in dogs cases, but like OP said you care for your pet so much you usually don't care about that the ex thinking that just doing that will escalate into full make out with the cat is the same line of thought as thinking kissing you sibling on the cheek will eventually devolve into full on incest and then he thinks *SHE's* the crazy one? 🤣🤣🤣

[@bonniegomez5333]

People : don't kiss your pets People: *eats ass*

[@KarmatheCorgi]

My first thought was if you have children don't ever kiss or hug them because if you don't think that they wouldn't roll around on the floor or stick their hands in their diaper... Welll....

[@HobieInTheBox]

@@KarmatheCorgi this 😭

[@emcustard]

Humans are WAYY more unhygienic than cats or dogs, but we don’t seem to care about that...

[@marshmello3455]

OP #1: "I consider Nate my boyfriend." Literally everyone paying attention to the story: "But why, tho?" After the update: "Nate treats his girlfriend like a girlfriend and me like a side piece." Literally everyone paying attention to the story: "Yeah buddy. That's because you were the side piece." OP needs to figure out that someone telling you that your relationship is never going to be serious is not something to work around or get over. Life ain't a rom com. She started out in the wrong headspace when she said, "I really like this guy, therefore I should agree to casual hook ups while he actively sees other people." Recipe for disaster.

[@TraceyBoyland]

Lol!!!!

[@ScooterBond1970]

Every second of this story I'm thinking "girl be livin in a fantasy dream world"

[@narutolover3453]

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[@narutolover3453]

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[@user-mp1is6ys7m]

'no need to treat me like a child' Well you clearly don't listen to people so yes there is.

[@Frostfern94]

Don’t act like a child and you won’t be treated like one.

[@Awsomesism1994]

Story 3: if the law in Alabama states whom ever purchased the ring gets it well that was not the ex. It's her family that gets the ring back technically cuz it's a family heirloom

[@zerobolt9506]

Am I the only one concerned about the people carrying around firearms getting drunk 😂😅

[@brachiosaurus6350]

@@zerobolt9506 it’s Alabama what do you expect?

[@clairebear-96]

Lmao WHAT since she kisses her cat that must mean she’s okay with kissing anyone else? Fucking ew lol and as a fellow bi woman that’s especially gross, i’m so glad they broke up

[@DemonicAngle15]

Story 2 makes me have flash backs to when my ex told me to choose between her and my dog so I got out of bed and slept on the couch with my dog and then told her in the morning that she could go home and not come back cause me and max (my German Shepard) were a package deal and refused to deal with her crying about how I could break up with her over a stupid dog I was called a bitch by alot of her friends and my family and friends all tried to figure out how anyone could hate my best boy

[@shhd2105]

I already knew op was a little weird after nate told her honestly that he didn't want a relationship and she said sure then thought she was his girlfriend. She clearly thought she could change him and make him monogamous. People love to start relationships off potential then get surprised when they don't change 😂 Story 2: they just seem very uncompatible they need to find someone that can handle all the catness Story 3: I don't even know what you say, just delusional. All his actions were delusional and I know there had to be some signs in those 2 years of his delusional behavior

[@TheNormExperience]

I’m agreeing on all points except the last part of #3 - people can hide a LOT (intentionally or unintentionally) till the rings pop-out, and only then will the masks slip. Mainly because it seems his own family members were pretty shocked by his actions and sudden change, so I’m not sure there would have been hints prior is all.

[@cmg8376]

There's nothing about wanting to "turn him monogamous", and everything about him downplaying a serious relationship that most normal people would in fact care about, because he wants to get laid. If she's not serious then why not just be upfront? Oh right, because most girls would never sleep with him if he were ACTUALLY honest about it.

[@jenbadberg1730]

Story 3: I laughed so hard when I heard “he wanted me to stay faithful to him but look the other way if he slept with someone else.” I had to pull over as I was driving because I can’t believe that guy was serious. I would have laughed in his face and say we are done. I am so glad OP has an amazing family to support her.

[@chelseapthib36]

Right! 😂 i was driving, too, and I swear I slammed on my breaks and just yelled THE FCK! Oh, honey... no. If you want to put your plug in every socket you find, you can do it without me part of the equation. My ex husband proposed to me with the ring my dad proposed to my mom with (beautiful flower diamond/gold band that is priceless bc my dad died when I was 14 ) .. if he EVER told me the ring belonged to him, demanded it back, and threatened me with legal action.. I'd have pulled out my hunting rifle and pretended he was a 10 point buck!

[@Ivy94F]

@@chelseapthib36 I’m always reacting audibly if I’m driving, hoping ppl don’t think I’m nuts! Lol!

[@chelseapthib36]

@@Ivy94F I get caught dancing and singing at red lights all the time 🥴 I've learned to just go with it! As Gwen Stefani said "oh its my life!!! Don't you forget!" 😂

[@bunnyslippers191]

As a woman with a toolbox and her own power tools that gift card "In case you want to make a better table for a better man" made me tear up. The ex's dad is a treasure. His mom must have spoiled him rotten or maybe he just got either a bad gene from an ancestor or it mutated at his conception, because his dad is wonderful.

[@Logitah]

In my family giving hand-made gifts (like furniture and clothing) is a tradition, so it tugged my heartstrings as well. This man friggin' knows the op and knows the pain she is going through! 🥺❤

[@HoneyBakedHamlet]

Sometimes you find that there's a trash person who actually has a wonderful family and that person is truly the odd one out. I've been with someone like that. His parents were lovely. His sister, lovely. His grandparents were amazing. They didn't enable him and they weren't toxic. But he was a toxic asshole.

[@DiZoSoMom]

Omg same!! I’m not great at handmade stuff, but I work hard on those things and they end up being beloved, sentimental pieces anyway. The fact the dad saved the table from the blasphemous fuckery of her ex AND gave her the gift card and those incredibly kind words of encouragement really restores my faith in humanity. He seems like a really amazing dad. Sometimes the apple just falls *really* far from the tree.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Story 2 the only thing that was kind of ick, was the toothbrush. Many electric toothbrushes allow you to only replace the head of them at a far cheaper price than the whole toothbrush. That being said she hid it to protect it. Everything else is cute. Animals deserve all the kisses and hugs.

[@FriedaMMartin]

@Melody Ackerman that too

[@TarisLuna]

I simply keep the bathroom locked, otherwise our bathroom trash would be raided regularly.

[@lily-zg6io]

also cats literally clean themselves very frequetly, and if we remember pre-covid times, we used to shake hands with each other, hands that touched far nastier things than an indoor floor, we hug, we kiss, which is also pretty gross if you think about it, so the issue of hygiene is literally not an issue. also the commenter trying to insult OP wit the cray cat lady comment, like the girl has one cat, and as a cat lover, i'd rather be single and happy with 12 cats than in a relationship with a cat hater

[@Pinkipuppy333]

Bet that crazy cat lady comment was the ex-boyfriend. After all he kinda repeated the same thing the poster did.

[@LeggoMyGekko]

Soap and hot water work on toothbrushes too you know...?

[@TabbiToyCollectibles]

I think OP 1 thought that seeing other people meant causal, so when she found out she was essentially a side piece and he had a serious girlfriend, she freaked out.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Yeah me too. She also sounded pretty immature. I think he should give a bit more detail about being in a long term relationship.

[@TabbiToyCollectibles]

@Melody Ackerman I’m just saying the initially that’s what happened. Afterwards she fought to keep a relationship she didn’t realize she didn’t have.

[@nixxyhasthoughts]

Yeah, I had to look so hard to find this. The guy wasn’t as straight up as people are giving him credit for. He told a half truth. OP was a bit pathetic but he wasn’t honest.

[@gabrielafeliciano8942]

@@nixxyhasthoughts I agree . The guy did was a liar by omission because he didn’t told OP was in an open relationship. I wouldn’t be happy if I was seeing a guy casually then find out he was girlfriend and made me the other woman in their open relationship. I would be uncomfortable as I am not into the polyamorous scene. Not my cup of tea.

[@mariem8705]

“I’m not looking for anything serious, are you okay with that?” Op-ok “I’m seeing other people, are you okay with that.” Op- yes… 2weeks later…We are together now!!! Wtf she was nothing but a booty call and she caught feeling. Booty calls don’t get the right for personal info if that’s all they were. She is delusional.

[@lily-zg6io]

Story 1: girl just stop. He did everything right, gave all the info OP needed to have, and she agreed because she liked him, something tells me she had a "i can change him" mindset. Also you're never dating someone until every party involved has discussed and agreed to dating and to the terms of dating. OP sounds immature AF

[@photofreak56]

While I sort of agree I find the whole wanting the girlfriend benefits while not wanting the commitment things to be scummy but then again if a dude asked me to do a friends with benfists I wouldn't.

[@justanothergalaxy8379]

@@photofreak56 That’s your own opinion

[@Z_err]

She believed her pum pum gives life

[@cmg8376]

Saying you don't want anything serious is completely different than saying you're already in a serious relationship but you're allowed to screw around. "OP sounds immature AF" you say. And I would argue that you do if you think the two above statements are the same. And if it is the same to you, or in your words "she has all the info she needs" (No she clearly doesn't because those two things are not in fact the same), then why not just specify what the truth actually is? Oh right. Because most girls won't want to sleep with you if they knew the whole truth.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@cmg8376 frankly it’s not her business if he’s in a committed relationship given he made it clear she’s just a pump and dump

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP made herself look crazy. It was exactly as he said. She was the booty call, he had a gf who knew everything. When people show you who they are, believe them. He told her upfront he was not looking for something serious. He wanted to hookup the first night. He doesn't take her out. He never had a conversation that he wanted to be exclusive now. None of this implied he was her bf. She just needs to take this as a lesson and avoid guys like this in the future.

[@jellyriq]

Honestly she just needs to grow up. The lesson she needs to learn from this is to listen and not be so self centered.

[@groofromtheup5719]

the minor difference is that he implied there was nothing serious at all. There was something serious going on. That was the lie, if that wasn't even a "real" lie, it was certainly a lie of omission.

[@jellyriq]

@@groofromtheup5719 he implied he wasn't looking for anything serious, not that he wasn't in something serious. Not even a lie. He just didn't want some booty call knowing all the details of his private life.

[@marshmello3455]

@@jellyriq seriously. I hate this "lie by omission" thing when applied in cassual situations like this. People don't owe their life story to every damn body they interact with. It may or may not make Nate's life easier to say, "I'm in an open long-distance relationship" to his hook-ups. However, it's not a lie to say "I'm seeing other people." Especially if he is seeing more than OP and his girlfriend.

[@justanothergalaxy8379]

@@groofromtheup5719 How does that change anything tho

[@Deedoof]

Story 3: I believe a lot of states protect engagement/wedding rings if they are heirlooms. The heirloom goes back to the family it originates from, please correct me if I'm wrong.

[@mbyerly9680]

It's totally right. Heirlooms are protected in a way new engagement rings are not.

[@jgw5491]

And if any states would protect heirlooms it would be Southern states. Family and family history are big things. I'd bet that any judge who handled that case would have heirlooms of their own that they would not take too kindly being claimed by a douche. 👨‍⚖👩‍⚖

[@JupitersTears]

@@jgw5491 I'm from Mississippi and a judge would probably laugh that man out of the court

[@Nishanth_mementomori]

The OP frm the first story is delusional 😂 what part of we're not exclusive did she not understand ? What made her think he was her boyfriend ? Last story OP has an AMAZING family 👏 and the useless ex's family is also amazing

[@carolsimpson4422]

She obviously caught feelings and got hurt. Which she wouldn't have done if she'd known she was just a bit on the side. It's one thing to be non-exclusive. It's another to basically be a mistress tolerated by the wifey. If she'd known the truth from the start, he would not have gotten lots of sex, and she would not have had her feelings hurt.

[@2ELI7E]

@@carolsimpson4422 except he told her... Lol not exclusive means not exclusive. He told her there would never be anything serious. She was ok with this. Op is an ass hole. She definitely was out to ruin his relationship when she found out who his SO was. Only thing she didnt count on was him telling the truth and his girlfriend already knew.

[@avalineriley6809]

@@carolsimpson4422 He DID tell her at the start. He told her they were never going to be in a relationship and he was just with her for sex. He also told her he was seeing other people.

[@carolsimpson4422]

@@2ELI7E he told her he was not going to date her exclusively. Not that she was "only sex". Also- if she'd known from the start she wouldn't have fooled herself about his intentions. His fiancee never would have been bothered if he hadn't allowed op to get attached. I don't see the big deal about contacting her anyway - if he had been cheating, then informing her was the only ethical decision. Lots of guys lie about being in open relationships- you can't just believe them all lol Op was dumb, sure. But morally she's just fine.

[@2ELI7E]

@@carolsimpson4422 riiiight. Because he told her what it was and because she thought it was more despite that its still his fault. Typical anti men sexist bullshit.

[@KHTimeProtecter]

Okay, but we can all agree that Ex’s dad was SAVAGE! He sounds like a real stand up guy, and I don’t understand how such a douche could’ve come from him.

[@conusbis1148]

Yeah op from the first post was just a massive creep. Throughout the whole thing she kept talking as if he didn’t basically tell her how it was going to be from the beginning. Then she gets pissed that he was doing what he said he would and gets even more angry and controlling after she finds out that the guy she was messing around with on the weekend wasn’t her soulmate. This is why I’ll never be in an open relationship, not because of my SO but crazy controlling people outside the relationship. I can imagine the bf texting his gf like “hey turns out my newest fling was nuts and controlling. Im sorry she’ll probably text you” and the gf handled this way better than I would and the crazy fling was still mad

[@cocoidiea8643]

Reminds me of a lady who got a restraining order against her for retaliating using fake accounts to threatening messages from the other girlfriend of her MARRIED boyfriend. Why do people knowingly put themselves in these situations?

[@cmg8376]

@@cocoidiea8643 How is this anything like that? She got told a story that 9 times out of 10 is a lie when people say it, and tons of people on reddit told her to contact the girlfriend and find out the truth. How is that comparable to what you're talking about in the least? Oh no, she texted him after she found out and asked to clear the air over coffee? What a monster! That totally reminds me of someone making fake accounts and posting threatening messages you guys.

[@cmg8376]

He didn't tell her how it was from the beginning though. That's literally why a reddit post was made my guy. If he had just stated "I'm in an open relationship" in the first place... we wouldn't be talking right now. Instead, he neglected to tell her the truth because he knew it would drastically lower the chances of getting into her pants. So yeah, if you're afraid of being in an open relationship because you're too much of a coward to tell your hook ups the truth, then quite frankly you aren't mature enough for a hook up let alone a relationship of any kind. Learn some honesty and respect for other people. Not everything revolves around you, and if that's how you want it then don't get involved with anyone. Then you can keep all your relationship history, medical history etc to yourself. However when you choose to go outside yourself you morally have to forego privacy on many things. Not doing so is not only wrong, it's illegal in some cases. But hey, according to you she's a massive creep just for doing something reddit told her to do, and then texting him one time to get coffee and talk about what happened. Yes my god, someone get a restraining order this girl is unhinged asking for something like coffee and making sure a girl isn't being cheated on, at the advice of dozens of other people telling her she'd be an AH for NOT contacting the other girl. Seriously dude, do you even hear yourself?

[@conusbis1148]

@@cmg8376 Jesus you took this personally didn’t you

[@conusbis1148]

@@cmg8376 honestly the more I read this over the stranger it gets. It’s been a while so I forgot the exact story of the post. That being said, Your hookups don’t deserve to know everything about you, especially when they’re as open as this guys was

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: Lol OP heard what she wanted to hear. He told her they weren't exclusive, but she thought if she put out enough that eventually, he would see she was the right girl for him and they'd become exclusive. She wanted him so badly she was willing to do whatever it took to get him, including being a fling. Then she gets jealous to find out he not only has a gf, he's spending all this money on the gf and not her, so what does she do? Tries to blow up that relationship by "outing his cheating" in the hopes that gf will leave him and she "wins." Is shocked Pikachu face when a) gf already knows, as he said, and b) that doesn't endear her to him. S3: My ex wanted to open his side of the relationship too. Surprised more than one adult male has thought that would go over well.

[@gabouchar9977]

For story 1, i don't see it like that. Obviously, op was is the wrong for hoping to have more than what he said he wanted to give, but there is still a huge difference between "having a fling with you because my serious girlfriend that i plan to live with is away for now" and "seeing other people". It's very misleading. As for telling the girlfriend, I do think op did it to try to get them to break up, but making sure he wasn't just cheating is a good thing to do in my opinion anyways. With or without ulterior motives, I think it's better to not let someone cheat if there is a possibily that they are. If he was just cheating, it could have saved his girlfriend from one day living and maybe get married with a cheating partner.

[@KE-hr4sb]

@@gabouchar9977 He told her straight off the bat "I'm not looking for anything serious or exclusive." She hangs out with him for a couple of months and thinks they're exclusive. I.E., heard what she wanted to hear.

[@gabouchar9977]

@@KE-hr4sb I know that she heard what she wanted to hear, that was not my point. My point is that you seem to to see it all black and white. Op is all wrong and the guy is totally right. I think it's really gray here. Though she did hear what she wanted, it's still because what he said was not at all what was happening. Again, something like "i'm not looking for anything serious or exclusive" is not the same thing as "I want to sleep with you for a while until i live with my long time girlfriend". To me (and to op, clearly), "i'm not lookimg for anything serious or exclusive" means that he just wants to sleep around without commiting to anything. That was not true at all. And you also seem to really hate op and I really don't see why so I wanted to respond.

[@KE-hr4sb]

@@gabouchar9977 Lol I don't hate OP, I never said anything derogatory about her at all. You're reading into it. I also don't think he's sunshine and roses, but he was telling the truth and upfront about everything so I gotta give him props for that.

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

@Gabouchar except OP IS all wrong. Dude said, clearly, he didn't want anything EXCLUSIVE...which means he wasn't going to be with just her. I'm less concerned about her messaging the GF than I am about her then crazily asking th GF if there is any way she could get him back. Non-exclusive means you aren't the only one. A fling doesn't have the right nor need to know about any of the others.

[@DarkbutNotsinister]

I honestly believe every dating profile should have the question “where does the dog/cat sleep?”. My dogs sleep with me. This is non-negotiable. If someone thinks the dog/cat sleeps on the floor, great. I can respect that, but don’t waste my time.

[@ataleofcoffee842]

You have a solid start to your dating app concept, please continue

[@charlesmcclure8000]

My cats are in my bed every night and yeah I kiss them. No one will ever out rank my pet in any way

[@DarkbutNotsinister]

@@ataleofcoffee842 I will take that as a compliment! I used to be a matchmaker. I ran 3 It’s Just Lunch offices before internet dating was a thing. Compatibility is based on priorities and flexibility. Oh, and magic. Freaking magic you can’t predict. Other people might call it “chemistry”, but “magic” is more fun. In any case, that part is always a crap shoot. What’s worse- finding magic (chemistry), but not compatibility. I really like you, but my dog still sleeps in my bed. We can’t see each other anymore. Ugh!

[@j.p.2636]

My cat has to sleep with me. She thinks I'm her mommy cuz I raised her from 3 weeks old and if she doesn't spend the whole night in bed curled up next to me then she has to be for at least part of the night or she gets anxious

[@tamsel814]

Likes likes spend about an hour in the bed of everyone in the home, then he moves to a random spot. During summer usually on the floor in autumn and spring a chair and only in winter on a bed. We just let him sleep where ever he prefers. We don't force him to sleep with or apart from us.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: wtf? He was pretty clear that they weren't exclusive and was up front that he wasn't looking for anything serious. OP caught feelings despite that warning. This was all OP making things more serious than they were. Additionally, as up front as he was with OP and the lack of any evidence that he is lying, I'm not sure there's a reason to mistrust him when he says she knows. Most people wouldn't be OK with that but that doesn't mean no one is. There are people out there who are really pragmatic and understand that long distance relationships are difficult and are open to things that many people would not be. I'd take the fact that he was very upfront with OP as pretty good evidence to that he's not a liar. This was all OP conflating things in her head and she needs to step out of his life if she can't understand his POV. Edit: OP is a dumbass. He made it SUPER clear they were a hookup and she decided to try and blow up his relationship because she unrighteousness felt slighted despite transparency on his part. I KNEW this guy was a stand up guy and not lying because cheaters are not up front about SHIT. OP built this relationship up in her mind despite clear signals to the contrary. He didn't have to tell her, nor does he owe her anything besides what he already did. Even when a person is clear, people will try and make them the bad guy. And OP says "don't have to treat me like a child" but she certainly isn't acting like a mature adult. She wants to "fix what we had" but they had NOTHING amd she still doesn't realize it.

[@dianasmith8248]

I agree I think she’s a complete idiot. However he should have told her by the way I have a long distance long-term girlfriend that is eventually going to move in with me. That’s a very important detail that he should not of left out.

[@somedragonbastard]

A lot of comments there were just assuming a lot about the guy. He made it extremely clear upfront what he wanted and people are being so goddamn weird about it. If you want something serious, don't date someone who wants something casual

[@Mewse1203]

@@dianasmith8248 why? He was clear from the beginning that A)she shouldn't expect anything serious and B)he IS SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. Why does he owe her anything more than that? It's not like she listened to what he said anyway so why would it have mattered?

[@MrJpaynebb]

I almost want to go after the guy but he was very upfront about seeing other people. He's in an open relationship with his girlfriend. It's what they both agreed to. OP totally misread the situation even though the guy was very clear about his intentions. She caught feelings and he was clear that those weren't in the cards for him.

[@AndyyWithAY]

His words and actions told her she was just a booty call. She's not cut out for casual relationships. Neither am I, but the difference is if a guy asks me to go back to his house on the first date, I'm going to say no. I'm not going to have casual sex with someone. When he told me he wasn't looking for serious, I'd say good luck with that. No need to start something when what someone wants is different from what you want. OP just wasted her own time

[@tegantalks9612]

I really wish people would learn the meaning of compromise. A compromise would mean meeting someone halfway not doing what the other person wants and having your feelings ignored. Some things just cannot be compromised on and it’s a good thing they are realizing this now at the 2 months mark because it only gets worse the further you go. Here’s an example of compromise; my husband and I both hate doing the dishes and picking up the dog poop, our compromise is that we each do one of the chores we don’t like so that one person isn’t stuck with both chores and if one person does end up doing both chores then the next time the other person has to do both chores. What isn’t a compromise is one of us saying, I don’t like picking up dog poop so we’ll just get rid of the dog and then you can do the dishes.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: Nah I'd choose my cat over an AH like that any day. "He's not asking you to get rid of him, just compromise" he's asking OP to lock up the cat and stop being affectionate towards them. I don't care if you've never lived with a pet, you don't get to come into someone's house and start making demands, especially if said demands are regarding how they treat their pets meanwhile there's nothing wrong with how they're being treated. My cat sleeps next to me all the time. I literally woke up this morning to find her curled up on my bed next to my pillow cause she insists on being as close as possible to me at every opportunity, even when she's sleeping, and I'm not about to kick her out of my bedroom just because someone says it's unhygienic to have her in there, I _will_ spoil my baby and I'd like to see someone try and stop me. (p.s. when I woke up and saw her, I pet her and she started purring even though she was asleep ✋😭🥺)

[@FredRated1967]

Agreed. Keep the cat, rehome the ex.

[@samalvarez8776]

Yes I have 3 cats. I can't believe so many people are grossed out by cats, but then turn around and get a dog??

[@avarralythande5129]

Lol story #1: OP was thinking to blow up his relationship so he’d have “no choice” but to choose her. She didn’t want to be his bit on the side but a main dish. There was nothing to “fix” by contacting him, just wishful thinking.

[@cmg8376]

She literally just followed to advice of reddit who told her she would likely be doing a disservice to the girlfriend by NOT saying something, and then telling her if it was actually true there's nothing to worry about. Well turns out there is something to worry about. Thousands of people on the internet forgetting what actually happened in the reddit post and calling you a stalker for following advice that everyone said would be good for all parties.

[@LadyLabyrinth1337]

Story 1: I mean if I was in the OP's shoes I would definitely have messaged the girlfriend just to make sure that she knew he was sleeping with other people but that should have been the end of it. It's far too common an occurrence that the guy lies about his girlfriend knowing he's sleeping around and just relies on the partners never finding out about each other

[@DePhoegonIsle]

The ones that do, quite often try to not advertise they are in an open relationship or relaxed standards from the get go. It's kinda weird about that. Those 'cheaters' often try and play as if they are only with you... not just spit that line out from the get go. (and if you seriously hookup with someone who says they are in a open relationship.... You're asking for a casual thing, or something with a ticking clock in the best of situations) OP kinda .. did this to themselves.

[@LadyLabyrinth1337]

@@DePhoegonIsle I have known a couple of guys that have said they were in an open relationship (though more often they say they're single) and that the rule is their significant other can't see the other so that the SO doesn't get jealous, sorry I know that I didn't explain it very well. But basically it's avoiding the affair partner contacting the significant other when they do find out the cheater is in a relationship

[@DePhoegonIsle]

@@LadyLabyrinth1337 That so rarely turns out 'well'. It's always going to be a jealous lover, or an ambitious one. Not to top off, that that kind of person who is going over the top to hide & distract like that. They are literally going to be carrying multiple phones & contacts, just to give the illusions of openness with private stuff. Ya, the 'I'm in an open relationship' lie, is ... not only risky, but exceptionally stupid more or less. I get what you mean, but think about it. if you walk into a relationship like that with the opening line of 'open relationship', and never knowing the other person..... it will never turn out good for you.

[@LadyLabyrinth1337]

@@DePhoegonIsle oh no it never turns out well for anyone involved and every time I've see something like that happen eventually their web of lies collapses around them because there will always be someone willing to contact the SO or the cheater will get caught in a lie. But then they just move on to the next person/set of people. My father is a serial cheater as was one of my ex's, a couple of my friends ex's have also done similar things (though you are very correct that most of them just outright said they were single). But I would always verify what someone is saying (if at all possible) before getting actively involved with someone, especially sexually. My ex claimed he was single to a bunch of girls and it wasn't until one of them thought to look at his Facebook and saw photos of us together that the entirety of what he was doing came out. I don't think cheating ever turns out 'well' (nor should it) because eventually someone is going to catch you out on something

[@carrieannmcleod5219]

OP did it out of spite. She wanted him to dump his girlfriend so she could take her place (especially after finding out he was well off). She ignored what he told her at the very beginning, that he wasn't interested in her except for physical relationship.

[@CH-ns4gv]

Nate: I'm not looking for anything serious, is that okay with you? OP: Look at me, I'm the girlfriend now

[@DoomChibi99]

If anyone told me how to treat my late cat, I'd tell them "exit stage left!" No one puts my bean toes in a crate... even though he had been caught sleeping in the dog's crate lol

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

Lol but he put himself in there 🤣 It doesn't count if the cat decides to crate himself lmao.

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

OP #1... Bruh. "Please don't contact us again." OP: Don't treat me like a child!!!!! Also OP: Acts like a child

[@TJ-ss1up]

I'm so glad the real gf knew about the side chick in story one. The little girl was being petty and vindictive, not to mention desperate.

[@InfernalPume]

story 1 is my nightmare as a polyamorous person in long distance. girl is being an entitled freak because she 'just cant imagine' that the guy was telling the truth since the moment they first met.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Hope you never have to experience something like that 😬 this is why if I’m ever in a poly relationship (I’m ambiamorous) I’ll probably seek partners in poly spaces. Too many mono people out there who will agree to poly not realizing that you’re being serious/it isn’t for them.

[@femboy__bunny]

MOOD MOOD I WAS LISTENING TO THIS LIKE GIRL. YOURE FUCKING KIDDING YOURSELF

[@damien678]

FR. I, in general, feel a bit iffy because of this as a poly person in a very serious relationship. Also because I'm bi and my long-term partner is also a dude. Some women would get waaaay too insecure about that and just say I'm gay and leading them on or some bs 🙄

[@justine8387]

Yep as a poly person its terrifying. Just all drama i don't need.

[@cmg8376]

Actually, telling the truth would have been him saying "I'm in an open relationship". Can you think of ANY reason why he might not want to be honest about that? Hmm, wonder what it could be...

[@AnyaMirhiam]

The cat story made me laugh🤣 as a happy owner of 3 cats I can definitely relate to OP that pets are family and they are not worth any compromise. They come as a package deal😋

[@AndyyWithAY]

Yea... I'd never choose a man over my pet. I don't have one, but I want a dog some day. The cat has been around for years, the guy half a second. The cat is family

[@fhuber7507]

1... OP volunteered to be "the other woman." She was told the truth. Now she wants to be a stalker...

[@elenaalejandra1372]

Story 1 - OP is definitely in the wrong. I've BEEN that "other girl" (the long-term one) and while I was fine with them having casual relationships on the side, I would have been really irritated to hear from them. The guy literally told OP that it was a casual, non-exclusive barely even relationship. OP said she was okay with it seemingly in the hopes of winning him over. I'm furious with her, to be honest. That massive lack of respect for everybody involved is mind-blowing to me. Story 2 - Boyfriend sucks, get rid of him. That's all I have to say. When it comes to my cat, I have thrown people out of my house for less. Crumb seems like an absolutely wonderful cat. And look at his incredible tail and beautiful eyes!

[@cmg8376]

What he told her about their future is irrelevant. Not telling someone you're in an open relationship and framing the truth completely differently so someone will have less reservations about sleeping with you is the problem here. You say you're furious with her...why? Because reddit told her to contact the girlfriend because the vast majority of the time we hear about this situation the person is lying and their SO actually wasnt ok with it, and was thankful to find out the truth? Ok so you're furious at her following a ton of people's advice instead of the people telling her to do this, got it. What else did she do that was so horrible? Text him after she found out and ask to talk over coffee? My god, what a horrible person she is!

[@Mochafairiemonster]

Story 1: If you don’t have the capacity for casual relationships you need to be honest with yourself about that. It will save you heartbreak and embarrassment.

[@AdorableOracle]

This! I tried once with someone I really liked and it ended in disaster. Never again.

[@cmg8376]

If you don't have the capacity to just state you're in a long term open relationship before sleeping with other people, maybe you shouldn't be going around sleeping with people you can't be properly honest with when it's in fact relevant, and many people would choose to not be with you otherwise if they knew beforehand. If I was hanging out with ANYONE for that long, even just a friend who I had no intention of sleeping with, and they just never mentioned such a huge part of their life to me like they had a SO for several years, and I only found out by chance they didn't even have any intention of ever saying anything... I would be completely weirded out by them and wonder why they hid it from people. And that's just a friend, let alone someone I'm sleeping with. This exact thing happened to me btw. I wasn't mad because I had any intention of ever wanting a relationship, I was mad because it was a totally weird thing to never mention to me in the months we had known each other and it was obvious that he never told me about it because it would have lowered his chances of a hook up. That makes a person feel used, and manipulated. So people need to seriously stop with these BS comments about her saying "oh it's on you for wanting a relationship lulz how embarrassing for you". Whether that were true here or not it's completely irrelevant to the fact that someone is withholding a huge part of their life from you is what the issue is. And when that part would have affected your decision on whether on not to sleep with someone it just makes it even worse. I'm not interested in hooking up with dudes who are in open relationships, and it has ZERO to do with me wanting a relationship from them. And yes a guy being in an open relationship for several years is different than one who you thought was casually dating people. He's the one who should be embarrassed, not her. If you don't have the capacity for honesty to EVERYONE who's going to be involved with you, then don't be in an open relationship.

[@quarterknight3572]

Story 1: Now that first story, definitely had me a chuckle there. Dude is straight up front from the start and this girl just falls in love with him KNOWING that she is a side piece. How hilarious. I understand skepticism with thinking he's lying but dang...still funny af Story 2: it's not unusual for animal lovers to love their animals. I get some people don't feel the same way but I never would've thought that someone's boyfriend would be so jealous of someone's cat. Story 3: Theft. The word is theft. He's trying to steal an heirloom. You can't just walk up to someone's family and ask for something to give their younger family member then ASK FOR IT BACK after breaking things off. Afterall, it was never his in the first place lol. ALSO: Intercontinental ballistic missile sized bullet is now a new favorite phrase of mine lol

[@cmg8376]

No. Upfront would have been saying "I'm in an open relationship". There's a very good reason why he doesn't tell girls the full truth, most of the action he gets wouldn't have happened if they knew.

[@Russman67]

Nate: I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm seeing other people OP: Okay *OP finds proof of other people Nate is seeing* Surprised Pikachu Face. What did he need to do? Set up a Zoom call for OP and his other partner(s)?

[@TraceyBoyland]

Haaaaahahaha

[@demigirlwithoutaturtle3556]

i wanted to come comment this lol

[@cmg8376]

Or maybe just say he was in an open relationship and has been for the past 5+ years...Ya know, might have helped since that's totally different than the impression he gave off. He only didn't say the full truth because he knows most women wouldn't hook up with him. That's called being dishonest and lying by omission.

[@Logitah]

I love it how in the third story a rather solemn affair turned into a really fun-sounding party due to a mistake. Considering the context you could call it a kind of anti-wedding! 😂

[@ladyv5655]

OP's family sounds hella fun. And mean. The ex better stay away if he knows what's good for him.

[@tamsel814]

Story 2: nta, this guy was so odd. He was dating someone with a cat but seemingly didn't even Google some basic cat info?! Additionally, what does kissing a cat goodnight have to do with cheating? Oh and lastly, he seemed jalous of a cat. I don't even know how that is possible

[@Pinkipuppy333]

He’s just controlling.

[@tamsel814]

@@Pinkipuppy333 of OP or the cat? ;)

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 1: she was obviously always a bootycall, he literally told her so, idk what her problem is

[@Lindasims733]

The first story where OP tells Nates girlfriend that they’ve been together for two months is very sad. Nate/girlfriend should be careful IMO because they risk having a fling and then that person getting more attached even though they lay it out beforehand. Besides Nate telling OP he sees other people it’s not really the same as I can see you but I have a long-term girlfriend. Quite honestly he and the girlfriend come off as being a bit arrogant and possibly messing with other peoples emotions. I also think that there is a strong possibility that when they are reconciled seeing other people on the side will be difficult to give up at that point both he and the girlfriend might not be so okay with the idea anymore.

[@Sakuraqueen]

Is it mean me or is the OP in story one truly delusional?? I just wanted to give her a good shake ugh!!

[@clairebear-96]

Lol what the guy said “I don’t want anything serious, i’m dating other people” so she said “okay ur my boyfriend now!” and then got mad that… he was dating other people? Exactly like he told her? And he wasn’t even lying about the girlfriend knowing and being okay with it! The guy sounds like a great person and OP….. i don’t even know what she wanted or expected to happen 😂

[@immapotato1]

the only judgement I have in the dude is he needs to really get better at picking FWBs

[@clairebear-96]

@@immapotato1 Lmao yeah true

[@TabbiToyCollectibles]

in her defense, "seeing other people" is different to "have a serious girlfriend, but I'm allowed to date around"

[@Jessidafennecfox]

@@aduckofsomesort The guy pretty much told op the truth. She's made he's poly and assumes she is the main character of the imagined relationship

[@queencars802]

OP caught feelings hard even though he made his intentions clear. She never should of gone through with it in the start knowing she really liked him and he didnt want to be exclusive with her. OP just seems really immature and not ready for a relationship if she cannot listen to what her partner says. He made it clear from the jump where he stands but she thought she could change him, kind of an a-hole move. If you're content to start off as a side piece then that's all you ever will be, a side piece. And getting mad he didnt bring you, his f*ck buddy, on a vacation to another country? Girl 🙄 you saw him maybe 8 times total, who tf would bring someone they've only seen not even a dozen times on a expensive vacation? Especially knowing the times you did spend together was behind closed doors. Get some self respect girl 🤦🏼‍♀️ listen to what guys tell you 🙄 and most importantly don't go into a relationship thinking you can change someone. Take them as they are or move on, plenty of other fish in the sea that want the same thing you do.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

Story 1.) OP “She treated me like a child.” Me: Because you’re acting like a delusional child.

[@MegaGinia]

That cat is one of the most regal looking cats ever! He is King of the hill, for sure! And never stop kissing your kitty!✌️

[@Logitah]

With a very fluffy tail! ❤

[@TsukiKageTora]

Two months. Two months and he thinks he can tell a lady to get rid of the cat that they had for a long time. This guy needs to a huge reality check for his obvious jealousy over a cat. I truly wish people have profiles like in that episode of Black Mirror and OP can just say “guy jealous over a cat in a two month relationship. Unstable and weird.”

[@AndyyWithAY]

I'm really not sure how OP got this twisted. He was very clear. I'm not looking for anything serious and I'm seeing other people. She seems extremely desperate. He made it clear she was just a fling. He might just be using her for sex because his longtime gf is long distance

[@aluralovell6829]

I would argue that Nate was not as clear as he could have been. Saying I'm not looking for anything serious and I'm seeing other people isn't the same as saying "I don't want anything serious because I have a serious long-distance girlfriend and we are essentially in an open relationship where casual relationships on the side are okay for now" By not telling her that from the start he gave her hope as when most people say they aren't looking for anything serious and they're seeing other people most people take it as there is absolutely no one serious in the equation, meaning that if they get to know them better they might have a chance at a serious relationship. Don't get me wrong OP definitely did some things wrong and got her hopes up too quick, but Nate unintentionally strung her along because she believed she had a chance, it's clear she didn't know he had a serious girlfriend and some people may think that doesn't matter but it does. It comes off as if she wouldn't have bothered if she knew there was a serious girlfriend in the equation from the start.

[@justanothergalaxy8379]

@@aluralovell6829 At no point did he give her hope tho?

[@aluralovell6829]

@@justanothergalaxy8379 He didn't intend to, but he kind of did, by not telling her he had a serious girlfriend. See had he told her that from the beginning then she likely wouldn't have thought it could grow into something more. People don't seem to get that there is a vast difference between "I don't want anything serious, I'm seeing other people" and "I don't want anything serious because I'm in a semi-open relationship with my serious long-distance girlfriend," one implies that you are not seeing anyone seriously and therefore there might be a chance you'll change your mind later if you find one of these people compatible the other does not as you are already in a serious relationship. I'm not using Nate is a bad person or that he did it on purpose, but wording matters and I'm just saying that a little bit of clarity could have helped him avoid this situation, and maybe in the future he should be a little more clear to try and avoid running into this problem in the future. I'm not saying OP would 100% have let it go if he had, but she had time invested and it's a lot harder for people to let things go when they invest time in something.

[@justanothergalaxy8379]

@@aluralovell6829 My bad, usually when somebody says they don’t want a serious relationship i believe that they don’t want a serious relationship

[@Flakey101]

@@aluralovell6829 So you would think they were lying when they told you they not want a serious relationship with you. You are as bad as OP in their thinking.

[@RokoFireFox]

Story 1. Yall weren't a thing. He set his terms and boundaries. You hooked up. He has a long term girlfriend. "No need to treat me like a child" because you are acting like one. Op needs to move on.

[@cmg8376]

Yeah it's almost like you should tell people you have a long term girlfriend before hooking up with them or something

[@rangeraero]

story 1: What she heard when he said he was "seeing other people" was "I'm not dating anyone exclusively", even though what he meant was "you're a side chick", so I get where she'd coming from at the start of the story. story 2: my first question the the ex-bf would be if he would act the same if Crumb were a dog. If he would, then he's a POS and should never have pets, because getting jealous over an animal, or the implication that kissing said animal (something I imagine most pet owners do, except for fish) could lead to kissing other people is ridiculous.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 1- I mean, I really don't know what she was expecting. He was upfront from the start. It sounds like she has a bit of growing up to do

[@mirandanils5114]

Story 2: this hits very close to me i saved my cat leo from the streets when he was 3 months old and i love him so much he saved me really, i was going through a horrible depression and he pulled me out because he gave me something to focus on. it isn’t just a pet. Kyle is an AH, and OP has every right to love her cat, they’re not doing anything gross and kyle is weird for thinking that tbh.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2. Kyle is welcome to come and try to "discipline" one of my cats 😂. Her name is Regan, after the Exorcist. She is the feisty cat out of my 5 😂. She has a temper 😂. I have been on penicillin twice over the 13 years I've had her, due to infected cat bites. She rules the house and we all know it. Regan is the boss 😂. I would 100% dump someone if they asked me to choose between them and my cats. I'm happy with my life with my furry kids.

[@ynmonroe]

First story: OP is clearly one of those girls that completely ignores what the guy tells her about how he feels/doesn't feel, thinking she can change his mind. It would bet this isn't the first time she ignored boundaries. That she went from hurt to malicious (she was clearly trying to break up the hookup and his S.O.), while still trying to be with him. Ridiculous. I mean, the minute she saw the pictures showing how different that relationship was than the one she had with him (though why she felt the need to investigate further after he stopped speaking with her is beyond me) she should have moved on.

[@OriginalAsherella]

Omg, the girl in the first story is infuriating. Dude couldn’t have been more upfront with her but she thought she would be able to manipulate him to get what she wants. There are all types of relationships and a long distance relationship that is okay with casual dating is not that uncommon these days. I like that this chick kinda got a reality check. I also like that all of these people thought he was lying to his LDR girlfriend but he wasn’t!!!! People wanted to vilify the guy but he’s not a villain. Folks always jump to the worst conclusions. Love is not finite, this is a fact.

[@jellyriq]

Story 1: girl, seek professional counseling. Fucking yikes.

[@gail8834]

Story one: girl is blind to what that relationship was. Basically she was the booty call girl. Then she end it with still wanting to talk to him and she still likes him. That girl is on the edge of stalking.

[@groofromtheup5719]

I think the issue was he wasn't totally clear what it was (he did say he was looking for something casual, but didn't say he had a serious relationship) , and she and him become a pair in her mind because of it.

[@gail8834]

@@groofromtheup5719 to me that is semantics. Yes she read into things. But in the end he did tell her he didn’t want anything serious with her. That there was letting her know that it wouldn’t go any further. It doesn’t matter that he had a girlfriend in another state that they exchange I LOVE YOU’s. It all should have ended when she confronted him and he gave his answer. But she had to call his girlfriend. Ok that’s fine if she was actually helping the girlfriend, but the girlfriend reiterated what he said. But when OP said she wanted to apologize to him and was told that the boyfriend was making it clear how he felt….. that still wasn’t good enough. The end of her post basically made it clear that she was falling in love with him and still wanted to be with him. In the end it shows her inexperience in dating and reading the signs (which she didn’t want to listen to). She is young and this was a LIFE’s LESSON! Man or woman, we have usually gone through something similar in our early dating years. It’s apart of life. But I don’t think he led her on. He basically said what it was from the very beginning. He’s a guy that wanted to get laid. If he said he’s got a girlfriend at home, that him and her agreed to see other people while they’re apart…… his chances of getting laid would be low. Was it right? Probably not. But as a young man his hormones out smart his brain and any common sense or compassion for a young woman that he wants to lay.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@gail8834 that last paragraph, you said he didn't lead her on, but he did likely leave out information to increase the chances of getting laid. Isn't that leading her on? It was a lie by omission. He used dishonesty to get into her pants. Yes, that will happen, but it isn't right either.

[@gail8834]

@@groofromtheup5719 Bit he said he was dating other people. So he was honest by saying that. He just didn’t say they were a girlfriend. Even with that information she had expectations. He made it clear he didn’t have expectations of their relationship. She felt because they spent every weekend together that maybe there was a chance. It is obvious she was falling in love with him even though he told her how their situation was. By not saying the other person was his girlfriend is irrelevant. He told her he was dating other people. She just chose to ignore that. To me he didn’t lie. He was honest by saying he was dating other people. And it is also obvious she was falling for him. She should have never let feelings be apart of their situation unless he changed things and told her he wanted something. She wanted something that wasn’t even on the table.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@gail8834 if you would have to change what you said, if you were sworn in and facing a perjury charge, then you were being dishonest.

[@smokeybar662]

Story 2: Game so weak he was worried about losing to a cat.

[@GIChiyo]

Story 2: Wow, you dodged a super insecure bullet right there OP

[@LunaP1]

Yeah. That dude is the disgusting one here. He showed his true colors the second he started making demands.

[@broen6124]

Yes, this! Worked in animal welfare for over 25 years. Manipulative partners control you by eliminating those you care about in this order: 1) pets. 2) friends. 3) family. Then you're alone & vulnerable.

[@growinghigher420]

OP in the first story needs some time with a therapist and maybe listen to some he's just not into you podcasts🤔

[@TriXJester]

Story 1: OP, girl, you were the side chick. You were never gonna end up with this dude. Story 2: If someone I'm dating visits my home and my pet doesnt like them, then sorry, this relationship aint gonna work out. Animals know who is worthy of trust and who isnt, and I will not waste my time on people like OP's "boyfriend".

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Story one: OP wanted the guy when he flat out said he is seeing someone else. He didn't want to date you, just sleep with you.

[@ataleofcoffee842]

Story 1 OP needs to realize that was her mistake. He was pretty upfront about the kind of relationship he wanted, and it seems like OP hoped it'd turn into something more. Not that I don't have sympathy for liking a person more than they like you, but there comes a point where you have to accept that and deal with it. Had he been stringing OP along I'd be much more sympathetic, but he didn't. He told her what he was looking for and trusted her word when she said she was down with that. So OP was dishonest with him, and I think he realizes this now and that's why he won't talk it out. Honestly don't blame him. OP should not go for relationships with dynamics she's not 100% on board with. Don't play stupid games. Story 2 blows my mind. Like my guy....Google is free. There are people who love to educate about cats and their behavior. You're just weird? Crumb sounds delightful. Story 3 Annoyed me until the update. Fuck that guy. But hey, great party. 10/10 family.

[@minecraftmum3436]

That last story made me laugh out loud, what an awesome family OP has. I'm almost jealous and I love my kids, but the whole party thing just brought a tear to my eyes, ngl. My best wishes go to Op and I hope she eventually finds someone who deserves her xx

[@lisakaz35]

I LOVE that "congratulations for not marrying an asshole party." PERFECT!!!!

[@chunglu]

lol imagine being jealous of a cat

[@Tammohawk1]

1. All OP had was a hook up relationship. Nothing more, nothing less. 3. The ring does go to the man, IF he purchased it. But if it's an heirloom from the woman's family, it belongs to her. What is he going to do with it anyway? Sell it? He can try to sue OP, but the judge will more than likely laugh him out of court. He sounds hopelessly stupid. edit: Dad took the table back! Love it!

[@ladyv5655]

Any competent lawyer would have told OP's ex that he didn't have a case. Fortunately, it sounds like his own dad is going to give him the butt woopin' he desperately needs, unless OP's family gets to him first.

[@groofromtheup5719]

I think where the ring goes depends on local law, and how it went down. Logically, the guy's cheating was not acceptable and thus what broke off the wedding. I would assume that the woman would get to keep it right there.

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

He was hoping to scare her by lying about the ring automatically going to the man. Once he got it he was going to sell it or more likely pretend he lost it. He specifically asked about the insurance policy. So he could hide the ring somewhere call the insurance company claim he lost it get a big pay day. Then still have it to either give to another girl or get it appraised and sell it for yet another big pay day.

[@cmg8376]

1. And all he had to do was be honest with her and say he was in an open relationship so that she had the proper knowledge before deciding to sleep with him. He didn't. Because he knew she likely would not have slept with him. Amazing to me how people don't see this when it's so obvious.

[@amandastout1948]

I think the first OP was trying to get Nate to dump his girlfriend, but to be fair, she had to worry if the girlfriend didn't actually know about her.

[@marissab4730]

She was not worried about the gf at all or wouldn’t ask if she can get back with Nate .. she is crazy . He told her everything up front

[@jayc7171]

Nah she wanted to take him from her

[@randomidakatta4333]

The first one is literally just a normal non-monogamous dynamic with him and his girlfriend. OP sounds like she went into that causal relationship with the intent of forcing him to be monogamous, which is toxic monogamy culture if ive ever seen it.

[@damien678]

this is what happens because monogamy is seen as the standard, it's so annoying

[@sadtitties222]

Exactly! She really thought she could make this guy fall in love with ONLY her and make him strictly monogamous just like a good 'ol fashioned rom-com only to pull a surprised Pikachu face when not only the girlfriend knows but now she is blocked from contacting the both of them. Even if he ever did decide to become monogamous her chances with him are VERY low to non-existent now, lol.

[@peregreena9046]

Or maybe she thinks that every guy she went to bed with, is going to worship her and the ground she walks on.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Good afternoon! Working on some handmade purses for my son’s teachers.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 2: NTA. Keep the cat loose the boyfriend.

[@theconfusedvampire]

Story 2: Kyle is ridiculous. I've had cats all my life and even the toothbrush thing is perfectly fine as long as there's no cat hair on it. I even shower with one of my water-loving cats and feed them on human plates. It's just food and I wash dishes anyway, so, it doesn't matter.

[@terramarini6880]

Mine eats on pretty china saucers from the thrift store because she gets whisker fatigue, some of them are interesting shaped gravy boat saucers. She eats off better dishes than the people in my house who get walmart glass.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 3: Yeah, he can sue, and he can cost you time and money, but it's unlikely he'll get the ring if there's clear and convincing evidence (i.e. the will and insurance documents) it's been passed down through your family, especially since he can't produce a receipt for its purchase. What could he possibly say to convince a judge he even has probable cause? Dismissed with prejudice.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Story 1 update has stalker creepy vibes from OP

[@immapotato1]

ya I seriously doubt the actual story has ended and the stalking has begun

[@cnow82]

That is her ring. He would be laughed out of any lawyers office. He sounds like a crazy person.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

Ok been in something of a similar but different situation multiple times since I have stopped doing LTRs for the past 5 years. Completely upfront about what I am looking for when dating a woman. I tend to only date one woman at a time bc I am busy with career and other things, but occasionally I will be seeing 1 and then another I may meet. I am also very upfront about this and still heard “I am an a$$hole, I have wasted there time, another dbag, etc.” Here’s the problem if you are a relationship type person and someone tells you they only want to keep things casual, don’t think you will change them. Just bc you like someone and have strong feelings for them, doesn’t mean they have similar feelings. If you can’t handle someone your dating casually being with other people then don’t date them. The first story this guy actually seems like a straight forward individual and did nothing wrong OP is crazy, got hooked and then took it even further. She even calls it a relationship when it was never a relationship. If you are a relationship person pursue people with similar goals.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

Anybody who would choose me over their cat doesn't deserve me or their cat.

[@greenteawithhoneyandcream7173]

Story 1: girl you sound absolutely crazy!!! You keep pushing something that should be best left alone. Listen to the gf and leave the poor guy alone. You are a fling he has the right not to tell you shit. You are Obsessed with him to an unhealthy level. Just find another guy if ya want a serious relationship and cut your losses

[@mariem8705]

S1- Op is downright delusional it’s scary.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Story 1: OP the dumb one. Honestly that's the kind of update I was expecting. It's the sad kind of thing, that even if 'the GF' didn't know or if she did... OP wasn't going to get back with him. This is the premium version of 'Play stupid games, win stupid prizes' She, assumed things. She didn't listen to what was said. She let her own internal dialog decide what 'he said' ignoring what was actually said & going on. Honestly I want to know what kind of signs she ignored, or just the creepy as hell 'I can make him change his mind & accept only me in his life' .... which is like ..... fucked up.

[@Zaddy-Lu]

From my limited understanding of engagement ring law: in some states the ring is seen as a gift, in others it's seen as a promise to fulfill a contract, so if the engagement ends, it goes back to who bought it. There is definitely no way dude can claim that OP's family heirloom goes to him.

[@danishaussie63]

Ring story, that's some crazy logic the 'fiancé' had about getting something back that want his in the first place. I had a good cackle over that one...and how much fun did the 'not marry an asshole' pop up party sound like lol, and what an awesome sounding families, and so nice to see the 'not gonna be the father in law now' was so supportive and actually told his shithead son off!!!

[@carolroberts4614]

Aren't they brilliant? I like the uncle who got it wrong and turned up with beer and a sheetcake! I don't know who Publix are, but if they have giant sheetcakes they have my vote!

[@danishaussie63]

@@carolroberts4614 Hahahaha I thought pretty much the same... I mean who doesnt love cake AND beer, that is a party lol.🤩🥳🍰🍻

[@jenniferstewarts4851]

1st story first part... he drove her home then didn't contact her again. She violated his privacy. She knew what was going on, she overstepped, he took her home and is likely done. Now she wants to go behind his back to his girlfriend. oye.

[@threeducks157]

I got major creep vibes from the first story lol. Also about to change my lovely babies they love to do synchronized pooping all 4 of them...

[@SilentDecepticon]

That ring story is unbelievable. How is it possible for someone to be so stupid, self absorbed and entitled? The ex’s family sounds nice and normal, so he didn’t learn it from them.

[@Coira2]

What in the pistol packing Alabama fuck is story 3?? What a rollercoaster. I'm glad things worked out for OP, what an epic disaster dodge.

[@Logitah]

And a party as a cherry on top! 😆❤

[@kolonarulez5222]

If kissing my cats without judgement means being single for life then so be it. The cats deserve my love more anyway.

[@AndyyWithAY]

And in case anyone is wondering if people in Alabama are really this gun happy, the answer is yes.

[@thebarefootwitch5564]

Story 1: He told her he wasn’t interested in anything serious; she considered herself his gf; went snooping and then got mad when he didn’t pick her. She hurt her own feelings. Story 2: dump Kyle

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1 That’s the definition of a one sided relationship……the fact OP messaged the gf WHEN SHE ALREADY KNEW…..girl you’re messy… You were never in a relationship with him to begin with, you were a casual hook up and that’s it. Just because “you loved him“ and saw him as your boyfriend (when he did not at all feel the same way about you… in fact made it very clear from the get-go you were just a casual hook up) does not mean you were in a relationship with him.

[@gh0ulbunni817]

Story 2: NTA (Also crumb looks identical to my cat Rose but Rose is blind in her right eye and it's incredibly milky and very beautiful like the moon) My cat Rose and I have a routine at night similar to this! She lays on my chest the moment I turn the lights out and we spend about 30 minutes with her on my chest or stomach, she's purring and all happy, I'm petting her back or rubbing her belly as she likes, and then I roll over to the side closest to the wall and she hops onto the pillows I'm not sleeping on and we sleep like that, then In the morning I cuddle her for 5 - 10 minutes (My biggest regret with my first cat Gilbert is that I feel I didn't cuddle him ENOUGH). Kyle is delusional if he thinks kissing your indoor cat on the head is unhygienic, hell human mouths are dirty than a cat's forehead! And cat's groom constantly! Trying to control how OP and Crumb interact so early on (or at all) is a massive red flag, he'd never be happy no matter how much OP compromises until she gives up Crumb because Kyle doesn't want to share OP's affection or attention. He's a massive dickwad

[@dianasmith8248]

So she knew ahead of time that this was a friends with benefits situation and he was with other people. Which she was OK with and if she caught feelings for him then that’s on her. However having a long-distance long-term girlfriend that is eventually going to move in with you is another thing entirely. So he left out the important detail which could’ve changed what the OP decided to do.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

I do think it matters though. Casually seeing other people vs being in a 4 year open relationship is very, very different.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

I don't have a problem with him really though. He was pretty upfront. Just that slightly more detail would have been appropriate.

[@dianasmith8248]

@Melody Ackerman that was dumb of her. However he should have told her that part.

[@dianasmith8248]

@@technicaldifficulties368 I agree that he was upfront. However he should not have left out that detail because she may not have decided to hook up with him had she know that.

[@dianasmith8248]

@Melody Ackerman But when you say this is not exclusive I’m seeing other people that Implies that he is having sexual relations with multiple other people. Which if she’s fine with that it’s fine. But having a long distance long-term girlfriend of four years that will eventually move in with him, is different. So in the future he needs to lead off with that.

[@heckyesjess3394]

Hats absolutely OFF to the uncle who didn't quite know what was going on but showed up with liquor and cake anyway

[@CastielMelmoth]

Lmao that guy really though his ass is more important than her cat, who has been there WAY before and will be there no matter what! he's pretty much like her child or a sibling. I'm a "cat dad" of 5 and I could never be with a guy who doesn't love them. Tolerating them isn't enough, since they're my only family. Luckily, my boyfriend ( almost 2 years together) has 3 dogs that he loves with his life and we both love ALL our dogs and cats. My cats love him, his dogs love me... Being with another person who loves animals is the best thing that could have happened to me. Since we're together, we've rescued 9 dogs and 2 cats, without counting the animals we adopted separately. And yes, we kiss them too! I think people forget where they've put their hands and mouth before 👀 I hope OP finds the cat person she deserves, that man should go straight to the bin.

[@crystalvibes2122]

Story 2 - The father of the cheater is an absolute legend. Taking away the table bc he didn’t deserve it is hilarious.