MY HUSBAND'S NOT GAY...TLC shall pay for its crimes | KennieJD

[@Dez861]

TLC is the modern day equivalent of those old timey freak shows where people paid pennies to gawk at the disabled. It's sickening.

[@sewgeekdesigns9113]

Yes before it was medical and animal shows

[@HUeducator2011]

Yoooooooooo what a great metaphor

[@BlckSWANWhtRbbt]

Worse because at least those people found employment when they otherwise wouldn't have. The people in these videos are not paid or otherwise employable.

[@496brit]

Wow this is quite the comparison. I remember seeing those sepia photos and thinking little of the people who organized such displays and even less of the audience but understanding that if I was in that time frame I probably would also have participated. So to read this is just really devastating

[@SPMunny]

Every new TLC show feels like an 8-10 hour episode of jerry springer

[@plvmenace]

I heard "mormon couples" and immediately went "oh no"

[@jamesrawlings46]

100%

[@thetransparentjerseygirl]

‼️‼️💯

[@richardprice5978]

carful about stereotypical me/other's as a 1840's/orthodox lds ( there's 200 different types/sec's nowadays ) im fine with bi's and or polly-marriage license it's adultery or lying ect aka be a good person to your fellow man/wife

[@Ksc56]

After reading the title, I bet my wife it would be Mormons lol

[@3s_muycar0]

Once I heard Salt Lake City, I went immediately to Utah=Mormons 😭

[@cypresshayward808]

My mom is a pastor and told me it’s normal to be attracted to the same sex you just don’t act on it… I didn’t have the heart to tell her that a straight person wouldn’t say that LMAO

[@ManiacalBlueberry]

Oh goodness lmao

[@zma6779]

Your poor mother lmaooo dodging demons at the pulpit

[@hijegeueu]

That is something a straight person, especially a pastor and many religious folks would say. Unless you think think your mom may not be straight and that's why you think she said that, but again very typical for church going folk to say.

[@jazzzmo7]

😬 ehhhhhh....

[@QU33N13-B]

It's not?

[@moustik31]

Im queer and was raised fundie, so I went through a "conversion therapy" program! My church went harder on us queer folks than on their resident PDFiles. Im so happy, I deconverted and embraced, who I really am! 💜

[@stone_forest3802]

so happy for you 🫶🏼

[@PandasLoveCookies7]

Love it!

[@ivanamurphy6917]

🎉🎉🎉

[@jejeamaris8186]

That's good to hear ❤

[@804ten]

So happy for you ❤

[@TheNormExperience]

This feels very; “I’m not purple! I’m blue with the affliction of red! It’s different!” Sir…sir…sir! Just be purple. This is so much extra work for everybody, and no one is happier.

[@anthill1510]

🤣🤣🤣 It`s so much extra work for everybody!

[@sowhatphie]

Some are purple... Some of those dudes are RED though 😅

[@TarynRMartin]

Like, this isn’t a lavender marriage. It’s periwinkle.

[@loureedpipes]

Idk, the crippling guilt might make all the extra work worth it. Feeling like you're embodying God's intended design of a man (which,,, is incredibly relative, as different men in the Bible had different roles and feelings about marriage, re: PAUL), can feel more important than personal happiness (Just to clarify, I'm a Christian that thinks that God does not actually care that much about who you're attracted to)

[@nailinthefashion]

The world would be such a better place if more ppl accepted they’re not straight or gay but a much more powerful and chaotic third thing. Bi

[@withLoveJoyKing]

Some of the reason why there aren't as many SSA wives is probably the same reason why women take longer to come out. Society and patriarchy has made it so normalized for women to be seen as nonsexual beings and that women don't or at least not suppose to experience strong sexual desire or even enjoy heterosexual sex that much, that a lot of queer women take longer to realize themselves since women's discomfort with sex is so normalized. Where as men's pleasure is always at the forefront and always prioritized, boys at younger ages are likely to realize that they aren't getting what they're supposed to from women. I imagine being religious only exacerbates this more.

[@mikakestudios5891]

FRR. I grew up in a fairly progressive church and it still took me so long to figure out I was any flavor of queer because I wasn't supposed to want that.

[@Seasidelilac]

I grew up in the church as well and even when I realized I liked women I still assumed I would inevitably marry a man. It’s definitely a combination of compulsory heterosexuality and misogyny where women are taught that being a wife and mother is the only goal regardless of your attraction to your husband imo

[@pixiel1xie]

Also like, men divorce way faster. 1) they simply have lower tolerances. They can’t handle terminal illnesses, hardship, pregnancy, etc. This is far more true for religious men who have been told their whole lives that relationship work is not their responsibility. 2) divorce is far less stigmatized for them and they will not be blamed for the transgressions of their ex wife. All that to say, why would a man stick it out with a defective wife? Far less to lose by just cutting her out compared to what a wife would lose if she had to divorce her husband.

[@ButterflyScarlet]

this, i didn't realize I was bi-asexual until i was 17 because i just assumed women weren't supposed to have sexual attraction so obviously my romantic crushes on other women was just "really strong admiration/friendship"

[@binapaes]

​@@Seasidelilac i had a somewhat similar experience, i kinda of always knew i liked women (even when i was active in the catholic church) but at the same time there was this feeling that i Had to date a guy, marry him, be a mother to his children yadda yadda... so the difficult part wasn't understanding that i liked women, but that i Didn't Like men. imo it's a reflection of the amount of misogyny and comphet in society... absolutely sad, really.

[@blackivory8567]

TLC used to have some awesome shows about child birth, medical mysteries, and surgeries in the late 90's. Definitely went downhill after the Duggars.

[@mellow_vybes]

Yes! I used to watch all of those. I remember the mermaid girl and the boy with eyes on the sides of his face. Also how I learned about primordial dwarfism.

[@asteridshydrangea-jt2hf]

That’s good to know! So maybe there’s archived stuff that would be interesting to watch before a certain date

[@QU33N13-B]

Late 90s was peak cable tv...my opinion

[@literallyimtrash7975]

It was bought out by the Discovery Channel. After that, they moved all the educational shows to Discovery and made TLC whatever the hell this is. They took any viewership TLC was having and redirected them to Discovery meaning they had to change the content that would be on TLC. They simply didn't want any competition when it came to viewership.

[@khodson3740]

A Baby Story was MY SHOW! I miss that level of pure education!

[@SolsticeMcCann]

I grew up Mormon and I'm a lesbian and let me tell you it will fuck you up. Everything is so focused on following specific steps and if you deviate in any way you're seen as a sinner and as someone who doesn't belong. I'm so glad I left

[@jamesrawlings46]

glad you got out of there

[@PandasLoveCookies7]

Definitely better off!

[@MoonaGhost_kitty]

Same! Except I'm bisexual. Most of my life there but finally free

[@scream_kinh614]

​@@MoonaGhost_kitty unrelated but if that's you in your PFP, ur so pretty!!

[@lanceareadbhar]

I'm glad you are glad. The part that upsets me the most is turning your community and family against you when you leave which is so messed up.

[@Monochrome_11]

this might "controversial" and whatnot but the Jubilee video with Khadija Mbowe that had a lesbian Mormon lady that talked about how both of her parents left the church cuz they loved their daughter so much that they didn't want to shun her after she came out did made me cry and restore a little bit faith in humanity

[@lilysiandaza4296]

Omg i didnt know abt that even tho i follow khadija,, that's so wholesome ❤

[@senaawl]

@@lilysiandaza4296 I don't think that was about Khadija, just noting that the mormon woman was in the same episode as Khadija.

[@hikariluanGC]

My parents and brother did the same! It wasn't the Mormons but it was another conservative fundie religious community and as soon as I came out, they saw how hateful and oppressive it was. It didn't go well with the loving teachings so they left with me.

[@valzorzano9469]

My brain immediately after I read the title: "DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT 🗣️"

[@Eiji_Kirishima]

PLEASE-

[@yaxtheghost2249]

"Your👏Husband👏is👏GAY"

[@lilysiandaza4296]

​@@Eiji_Kirishimalol randomly seeing my fav character in the wild

[@Eiji_Kirishima]

@@lilysiandaza4296 🤞♥️LOL Hi-

[@laluna5850]

BAWAHAHAHA OMG

[@_geno_]

god im raised in a mormon family and i can confirm this is COMMON, its treated like an addiction, both my parents are homophobic but told me that “as kids both of them were attracted to the same sex” (which to be fair could’ve been a lie they told me to get me to knock off being gay)- mormons act like its an affliction they have to deal with its so depressing

[@afckingegg7585]

My family is Catholic and my mom is clearly bisexual, but she'll never admit it because she doesn't "believe in sexuality". It's sad.

[@jijitters]

I can't speak for your parents but tbh it's very possible they were telling the truth. Most of the time people in these religions do openly acknowledge that everyone can be "tempted" to sin, and acting on the temptation is the sign of weakness, not the "temptation" itself. People who have not been in religious communities might be surprised how many hardcore religious folks openly admit to "past" "SSA" because they see themselves as righteous for ignoring it.

[@OOoKarmaoOO]

I think it's called a lavender marriage well kinda because I believe usually people aren't in denial when they do that

[@tokofukawa4654]

(got permission from him to comment this) I have an ex mormon friend. He’s gay and one time was raped but he just could not see the experience as negative because he wanted to have sex with another man so badly that he saw it as a romantic type of thing. It took nearly five years for him to conceptualize it as a fucked up situation. This show is so sad, and reminds me of him so much

[@hadrianhexe9603]

That hurts because i have some experience with that, being so desperate for affection that you're denied that you become desperate enough to take it in whatever form you can get. Thankfully, it never happened to me but i could see how if i was just a bit more reckless or not as monitered, i could have ended up in a similar/same situation.

[@DecemberDaydreams]

That must've been a very confusing and conflicting experience to deal with😔

[@gendergreed]

wishing your friend healing and so much love

[@elleofhearts8471]

I cant help but think there must be people in religious communities that harm people in that particular way on purpose because they are aware of that particular vulnerability and the dynamics at play within the local culture. Like victims are even less likely to come forward because of internal reception to queernes, external reception to queerness, power dynamics, frustrated needs, lack of support, etc. Like religion has been around for long enough for religious abusers to notice this particular kind of vulnerability and know how to exploit it.

[@flyingsnail_art9170]

I am so sorry that happened to your friend, I hope things are better for him now

[@iridescentsolace]

Idk how these women can be w someone who’s like “yeah I have to suppress 90% of my feelings to be attracted to you” I WOULD BE CRUSHED LIKE

[@graciousmarwisa9496]

No because I am learning NOTHING on TLC 😭😭

[@CatLady555]

Idk ive learnt my issues aren't that bad

[@ryantagonist924]

I learned about polygamous cults on Escaping Polygamy back when it was running, but you can still watch it on some streaming

[@AshleighDanburry]

I've learnt that I have led a sheltered life..... and I like looking at trainwrecks.

[@empyrea_2546]

They should change it to The Leering Channel

[@melanieschwarz2181]

These relationships fuck you up mentally so bad. My step dad grew up Mormon in Utah. He got married and had 4 kids with his ex-wife. They had a rocky marriage, but Mormons looove to tell you to just work on it. She comes out as gay after their 25 year long relationship. And it seriously messed up his self esteem just thinking, how long have you found me unattractive? How long have you known and still let us continue? They both could’ve been happy sooner but instead they wasted 25 years

[@Shiny-xm4hz]

Yes!! Because that’s a long time to pretend you are physically attracted to someone that would hurt anyone

[@krezzybot]

This isn't just mental gymnastics, it's a mental circus

[@hannacamel2819]

As an ex-mormon woman who was married for FIVE YEARS to an adult mormon man whose sexuality was repressed to the point where he essentially never sexually matured, this was my marriage. Not necessarily the gay part (sure, he could have been gay, he could have been asexual, he could have been abused, I don't know and I never found out and it doesn't matter now anyway) but staying together no matter what because of "temple covenants"? Being told to pray for the miracle of my husband being attracted to me and that this was simply my trial to endure? Fuck no. If I could go back in time, I'd give my younger self a hug and tell her that the shame she feels for wanting sex and being a sexual being is manufactured by evil people, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting intimacy and sex, and that she DESERVES to be loved and cherished by a partner, not tolerated and ignored. And if you're in a religious (or any) marriage that is wall to wall pain and guilt and shame, for whatever reason, YOU DESERVE BETTER TOO, SWEETPEA. You really, really do. There's happiness and love out there waiting for you that is unconditional and healing. Leaving is scary - ending my marriage was the most terrifying decision I've ever made - but I promise you, it's worth it. ❤

[@beato1733]

You’re so strong! I can’t even imagine how terrifying that must have been. I’m a ex Mormon and have left for a lot of reasons, but did your family end up not talking to you anymore after?

[@hannacamel2819]

​@@beato1733 my family is all still very Mormon and I am still in contact with them, I still love them and want them in my life...but it's a constant push-pull of "we want to save you" vs "I don't want to be saved thanks tho". I know that my mom especially is so enmeshed in the Mormon church that she'll never really understand why I left, and that's painful, but it's also not something I need to carry with me, you know?

[@samosas]

20:15 I can’t even imagine how sad it has to be for you to literally have to fantasise about being SA’d, just to experience your true desires in a way that could be rationalised afterward

[@Jalbabe989]

i used to have dreams like this before i realized i like women

[@nanaadusei6604]

The title captured my attention immediately 💀

[@HopelessDreamersClub]

IMMEDIATELY 😂😂😂

[@sevenkpink2894]

literally I was like oop👀

[@AmberNo_Rose]

I clicked so fast 😩🤣🤣🤣

[@lolli18_]

righttt I had to sit down and watch lol

[@scream_kinh614]

Me and my friends had literally watched clips of this in our GSA club last Friday I was READY.

[@plvmenace]

The only thing I'd ever heard about TLC was that they had shown an episode about a couple who got together when the girl was 16 and the guy was in his forties and their relationship is treated like "yeah it's unconventional but it's TrUe LoVe". That told me enough.

[@yelbelbeauty]

Yup, that’s a couple from the first season of 90 day fiance. He was a missionary in her town and asked her parents to “save her for him”

[@sammimarquez9140]

@@yelbelbeautyYIKES! I thought this was referring to Courtney Stodden, I’m pretty sure that TLC did something about Courtney and their marriage to Doug Hutchison, but that’s just as bad

[@ambriaashley3383]

For me it was the MULTIPLE times they were outed for having pdf files on their reality show crews (& as stars) who abused children on set. Horrific and sad

[@Galaxia7]

​@@yelbelbeautyTBH that describes a lot of religious communities, being a straight PDFiles is treated as totally fine/ignored but being queer is the worst affliction you could have 🙃

[@scdk00]

​@yelbelbeauty I'm sorry WHAT COUPLE WAS THAT???

[@Horror_Hero]

FUN FACT: I was on the TLC Channel (Before I transitioned) And I was mislead with what they put on there. I was on there for my bone disease. The producers were nice. But when it came out I was very upset. I'm a big fan and would love to talk to you about it

[@GnarlyRaePepsi]

This^. As someone who did a ton of credits in college in every Film class they had, I’m gonna brag: Got an A in every one of them. Love learning about movies, and would love to see how they try to manipulate us.

[@sunnypercival3776]

Came here DIRECTLY from Kurtis Connor's video after the comments said Kennie just did a video on it as well😭😭😭😭

[@lenapawlek7295]

Same lol

[@sapphire3212]

SAME😭

[@jessicabeshears1701]

I was going to call out that he had basically the same thumbnail and uploaded a day later, but right next to where I'm commenting is a guy named CinnamonToastKen with ALSO basically the same thumbnail, uploaded 13 days ago...what is happening?? 😭 I trust Kennie JD tho lol the parasociality is high

[@person405]

Having grown up Mormon, and being gay, this show was like a walk down memory-lane. I actually fell in love with Lord of the Rings cuz it mirrored what I was going through at the time: gay-romance was the One Ring, and I better not use it or I'll become a shadow of myself...etc, etc. I have ro bear it but not use it." Thankfully I never married, cuz how is that fair to any woman? Anyway, when I did the whole "SSA therapy thing" they would call this type of relationship a "mixed orientation marriage".

[@ZsazsaLaMore]

Hi, old here! I remember back when I was around 13, so ‘96/‘97 and TLC, back when it WAS The Learning Channel, they would show actual operations on various parts of the body. I mean cut open seeing the operation being performed! Now whenever I watch TLC, I feel my brain into goo inside my skull.

[@DisparateTimes]

I remember! Do you remember when A&E used to actually be about the arts? Sigh, those were the days

[@Yvette5489]

​@@DisparateTimes yes! And Bravo used to show opera and foreign films. Its sad how the quality in cable tv has plummeted.

[@kirabouwerviraltyd]

When the History Channel showed documentaries about (gasp!) actual human history - those were the days

[@MovableNu]

Hi fellow olds! Dang I miss those days 😢

[@monifamonifa1]

Old here is sending me 🤣

[@cynicismIncarnate]

Someone tabbing their husband's homosexuality is pretty blatantly homophobic and quite sad. It speaks to a deeply nurtured bigotry and the production clearly knew and tried to abuse that. I'm not shocked that TLC aired this (I would like to go back to not knowing this exists).

[@cmlyhmbylm4840]

Yess, love that you've joined Bluesky! Seems like a lot of creators are finally getting fed up with Twitter lmao

[@aroworks_animated]

i saw the title and i got curious and then i heard gay people and utah and i uh… that brought a lot of pain. Mormonism is a cult, i can say that, and i feel so bad for all of these men. I was raised mormon. when i was young (like 11 ish) i realized i was either attracted to everyone or not attracted to anyone whatsoever and when i came out, there was this deep pain and shame that i felt every subsequent time i went to church, i noticed people looking at me different and people didn’t speak to me nearly as much, and i ended up talking with my older sister who has her own story to share and that brought a bunch of comfort to me knowing i wasn’t alone in this but it was still so painful to see people i considered almost family not treating me the same. A few times i considered taking my own life, i did harm myself for months trying to convince myself i was normal and not queer, it was so so painful and i couldn’t do it. i went to therapy in the depths of my self torment and i decided after a few sessions i couldn’t live and still be mormon at the same time so i left about five years ago and i can say with certainty i’ve never been more grateful to be alive. It ate me alive for a few weeks after leaving cause i wanted to do the things i was supposed to do, but now i’m still kicking, i’m 18 tomorrow (yay me) which is an age i never saw myself getting to when i was still going to church. especially not happy. No matter how many times the mormon church tries to rebrand itself to seem better and more comfortable than other religions and more accepting, it isn’t. It never will be, because no matter what the elders and the president and the apostles and whatever the hell say now, there’s a disconnect, there’s still a mistranslation and there’s still kids being told that who they are is wrong.

[@fairyfathom]

I'm so glad you survived and put your wellbeing first

[@Stormada14]

I’m glad you’re alive and I hope you can continue to survive in the future.

[@akiluckyakilucky7524]

*hugs* i am so, so proud of you. You did so well and it must have been tough at such a young age

[@lindslovely]

I'm damn near 30 and thought until just this moment that TLC stood for "Tender Loving Care" channel 😭

[@adebisiakinyemi7833]

lol I would have believed T-boz, Chilli, Left eye over "the learning channel"

[@Chitownbabe417]

LOL I did as well until like 2 years ago. I’m 32 😅

[@hotgyal5278]

Them being named the learning channel reminds me of when you lie on your resume 😂 cause I didn't learn anything except that ppl are weird as hell

[@shargreen9950]

i did too wtf 😭

[@arriibacon531]

It still does just with a different context if when talking about hair 😂😂😂😂

[@mycattypedthis2827]

oh no the last part about them being therapists sneaked up on me and kicked me in the guts it’s soooo bad jeez these people need to stopped

[@Jermaine2099]

"Sorry babe, I can't go to the cookout today. Having a gay flare up" 😂

[@deeharde7341]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Will-ef2tw]

Glare up?

[@TheMaleSoprano]

tlc said "happy belated pride!"

[@rolemartyrx]

BEEEE WHOOOOO YOU AREEEE FOOORRR YOUUUURRR PRIDE!!!!

[@TheMaleSoprano]

@rolemartyrx DON'T HIDEEEEEE

[@itowilltube]

what is that song from? ​@@rolemartyrx

[@l.g.2888]

Good lord they really took making women into rehabilitation for messed up men to a new level (to be clear, their attraction to men is not what's messed up, but the religiously-afflicted guilt and self-hatred sure is).

[@colakarmon]

god, listening to you talk through all of that brought me all the way back to when i was a closeted college student, repeating a bunch of the same ""SSA"" talking points to myself and others. broke free the day i had a paradigm shift: "There's actually nothing wrong with me." Never looked back since then and I hope every other person who feels any way similar can have that moment, too.

[@AddisNotes]

The quickness at which I clicked after reading the title lmao. I’m scared for what I’m in for.

[@fableSimmer]

26:28 "Just screaming, 🎶 BE WHO YOU ARE 🎶 is probably not gonna help." 🤣🤣

[@guessmyname1246]

I grew up religious then followed my mom into a cult when I was a kid. There was so much stigma against sex and even the thought of masturbating was shunned. When I was alone I felt like I was being watched by god and every embarrassing thing I did was witnessed by this all knowing figure who was supposed to help me, but it just felt degrading. My mind wasn't mine to have alone, every thought, bad or good was not private. And stil I had to be perfect. So I would try to only think "good" thoughts and practically brainwashed myself and if I had "bad" thoughts There would be a flood of guilt. It was my friends and my love for art and stories that got me out of that mindset

[@phellycheesesteak]

This sort of show is less “humorous” and more sad to watch because there’s a lot of religious queer people who are everywhere :( There’s always gonna be a lesbian catholic, a questioning Jewish person, an bisexual Muslim and having that environment where it’s a special type of “”shame”” is the quickest way to kill a person from the inside out. And like Kennie said, people will sometimes do some horrific shit because “I’m already a sinner anyway” I just wish people like this could know that it’s okay to be religious and lgbtq, even if they realize they aren’t gay down the line, you’re better off just knowing you’re not a criminal just because you like the same gender and you deserve to have that burden lifted from you

[@senaawl]

As a devote bisexual Christian, I really appreciate you saying that. A lot of people want us to turn away from our faith altogether, but that still leaves a void inside of you. It's best to educate ourselves and realize how "homosexuality" is actually a recent development in scripture (it was added to the Bible in 1947 at the height of the Nazi regime... which was notoriously homophobic and pushing nuclear family propaganda). I really wish such sacred text isn't/wasn't weaponized the way that it is... it can do irreversible damage.

[@Michelleistyping]

They all look so unhappy and uncomfortable. I’m recently living in my truth after going back and forth for a while. Pretending is very depressing.

[@Black.Rose743]

I used to watch Say Yes to the Dress religiously. Every couple in this show is in denial, like same sex attraction???? I understand why they do that but they're doing themselves a major disservice I figured out I was bi at 13 years old,and at the time I was one of the first in my school to come out, religion made it difficult to do so, but I said screw it I want to be myself. 15 years later I'm pan and though I'm not completely open about I'm happier now that I don't think of myself as an abomination.

[@KassTheLass]

You described this show and my chest started hurting. I'm 35 this shit is bad for my health.

[@please_im_a_staaar]

"My husband's not gay" me everytime some of my dense biphobic 'friends' insinuate that my bisexual bf is secretly gay because in their mind a man who previously had sex with men (women too, but okay) can never 'come back' and is now GAY, and by being with me he's being in denial. 🙂

[@MsReveur]

You need to get rid of these "friends"! Nobody got time for bigotry like that! 😨

[@hwXD]

Literally.... flip the script and it's "that bi man had sex with a woman, so he's actually straight now, and in denial about liking men" Comp het is so pervasive that a man having sex with a woman is seen as basically nothing, but if it's with another man the taboo has been breached and he can never return

[@1ndiasmusic]

You deserve better 'friends'

[@m-4136]

Yeah those are not your friends

[@jakemarie828]

Getting səx negative msgs from an early age can really attatch shame to your core. Becomes a lot harder to know what's you and what's GodTM

[@senaawl]

Exactly, it also makes sex out to be wayyyyy more important than it actually is. It creates an obsession in people. So unhealthy.

[@hiryuumage]

I had a best friend as a teen who realized she was a lesbian while she and I were members of the LDS religion. She dealt with so much crap during the late 90s and 00s. It opened my eyes to all of this, and I thought long and hard about it all. I came to realize someone else's spiritual and identity journey is none of our business. They're not broken, nor diseased. There's nothing to fix. They're just figuring things out. My job as her friend was simply to support her, so I did, while i watched people push her out. Nothing in our scriptures ever states anything about LGBTQ. I'm still looking for the part where it says being gay is a sin. Haven't found it yet. It became one of many primary reasons I stepped away from the people part of church, though I remain active on my own. It's amazing how people will proclaim to know a gospel they can't ever seem to demonstrate in practice.

[@senaawl]

I'm not sure about what text LSD follows, but it states it clearly in 1 Timothy, but here's the kicker... "homosexuality" wasn't added in scripture until 1947. I absolutely hate how people (men) have perverted the word of God to bolster their sick agendas (in this case, homophobia and nuclear family propaganda).

[@barbabarb]

5:52 My Strange Addiction: men

[@aleejjj]

D

[@hobbesthetiger]

This is what they teach you in the religion classes at BYU (part of the core education requirements, by the way). That SSA is like a disability that must be managed, and that the Spirit can help you succeed in a straight marriage even if you never feel attraction to your partner, because you're doing the "right" thing. It's so clear that the choice is between suppressing your identity and going against everything you've ever been taught is right and true, and a lot of people are obviously scared of the latter and feel guilty when they do it, so they think that being in gay relationships won't make them happy.

[@MiraCassandre]

This is so sad, my closest friend committed sui.cide when we where 18... he was gay and came from a very catholic family. He was struggling so much with his faith and upbringing... so much guilt. Still missing so much. It's so fricking sad.

[@lotusthemermaid]

I remember asking one of the elder pastors at my old church whom I was seeing for counseling to pray the gay away when I was 17. I also thought for a while that it worked and I remember the relief. It took me until very recently (I'm in my 30s now) to accept my sexuality. There really is so much pressure placed on people in the church to conform to heteronormativity. I'm bisexual and proud of it now and I didn't lose my faith, but I left the church behind me. 💖

[@vincentvlue]

girl what the hell is America even

[@agalwithnoname]

Frfr as an european im watching this and being just horrified

[@FrauStormm]

the way you and kurtis conner managed to make the same video a day apart has me in awe

[@sashughh]

seriously does lol

[@teddy_catss]

right! i thought the show must have come out very recently but when she said it was released in 2015 i was so surprised lol 😭 what a coincidence

[@ivy-ux3gr]

it obviously makes no sense but you have to keep in mind that they don’t think being gay is an actual thing, it’s just something you choose to do. it’s also a common belief that everyone has “sinful urges” (whether sexual or not) and you just have to fight against them aka resisting temptation. i think that one of the reasons that the lds church hates actual psychologists is because they know that just resisting your feelings and thoughts endlessly keeps you trapped.

[@Anna-MLS]

the first video chapter already has me so excited!! we needed to address miss TLC trauma farm on cable! and also they did not offer real support or compensation to the folks they were exploiting :((

[@maximumdinosaur]

When my mom first told me about gay people, she told me about a woman who was a lesbian but repented and married a man and now goes around preaching about not acting on homosexuality. She says she still is a lesbian, she just doesn't act on it, which is what my parents believe is right. I really hope she's bisexual and is actually happy in her marriage. I think about her a lot.

[@Blackk802]

Sounds like Jackie Hill Perry

[@jameljenks2584]

What I find fascinating is all these women agreeing to have their time wasted like this "I like men" "Nobody's perfect" The hell?!

[@martaburgos4510]

sadly, Sabrina Carpenter was spitting on “Lie to Girls”

[@ariesaraya1822]

That's what I don't get. There are so many straight men, just go pick one of them.

[@lenapawlek7295]

Its because theyre taught to be subservient and that they should waste their time

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

I think for some women it could actually be attractive. They might be closeted themselves. They might be afraid of sexual violence. Within this kind of religious groups women are expected to fulfil all of their husbands' needs. Mastubation and protection are not allowed. Their pleasure is secondary. A gay dude won't pressure you because he's not attracted to you The whole culture is rotten

[@peanutbutrs]

I wondered this too. Maybe it was a time limit thing? Like maybe they got to their senior year at byu and no straight guys liked them?

[@taradactyl8789]

It's crazy that Kurtis Conner just came out with a video on this, too! Love both of y'all!

[@Kaltag2278]

I heard some dude say it's "gay to sleep with a woman if you don't get her pregnant".

[@hobbesthetiger]

Honestly that kind of makes sense with the religious rhetoric that being gay is bad because sex is for having children and making good god-fearing families.

[@Kaltag2278]

@hobbesthetiger that's (almost) exactly the argument he made. I'm an atheist myself so I really don't understand the need for some to have such a strict view of how we're "supposed" to live. Like I kinda get it because I was raised baptist but I don't at the same time, ya know?

[@Janet_Le]

Is TLC okay? It seems like TLC hasn't been okay for a LONG time. lol

[@lauriethomas4145]

hahahahaha

[@devonmunn5728]

Holy shit out of all the things Kennie could cover this was not what I expected. Plus I'm a little depressed right now so seeing this definitely lifted my spirits

[@weeabooper]

When I was a kid I used to watch an uncomfortable (for my parents allegedly) amount of tlc's medical programming and it's sooooooo frustrating how far that channel has fallen 😭

[@princessemisery]

26:50 thank you for being a platform for healthy discussion.

[@misskudou]

I am a lesbian and having to be married to a man I don't love because my community would throw me out otherwise is a horror I can't even imagine. I am SO extremely sorry for everyone who is in a situation like this and SO extremely proud of everyone who manages to leave. This is absolutely heartbreaking and nobody should live like this.

[@Turt13princess]

The scene where they have to act “ungay” and restrain themselves reminds me of when Edward Cullen explains how his family chooses to restrain themselves from drinking human blood, and he has to fight the urge from eating Bella at every moment

[@thecavalieryouth]

That the first thing to come to mind for you is a fictional story written by a Mormon woman absolutely does not signify. Nope. Not at all. No dots to connect there, folks. 🤭🤭🤭💀

[@kimv3523]

Omg, twilight’s author is a mormon woman😮

[@sysi5521]

Sounds like something someone whose husband is gay would say Edit: thats a silly name for such a sad show omg

[@lucija5513]

The fact that I just finished watching Kennie's rundown of The Substance and this was waiting for me on my YT feed. Truly a gift!!

[@Milkyway_brain]

Right when I’m bored too!!! You always come in CLUTCH 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@stephengreen-dowden9068]

Keenie, girl!! I'm glad you watch this shit and I don't have to..I'm a 54 year old gay man..this shit irritates this just drives me crazy..I can't.. still love you❤❤❤

[@Vixenallure365]

Kennie said…UNGAYLY 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m now on life support

[@tyler-df3wy]

So as a disabled person who studies both queer and disability theory, I wanted to say that the idea of queerness within the church as disability isn’t inherently without merit. And that’s because disability isn’t actually about an individual’s capacity, it’s about their ability to function in society. People aren’t made disabled because of a medical impairment, they’re made disabled because their society isn’t built to accommodate them. In a homophobic culture, being queer does impact your ability to socialise and engage with society, which can classify it as a disability Now obviously you shouldn’t foist the label of disabled on someone who doesn’t identify as such, but someone choosing to use that label for themselves isn’t inherently based in internalised homophobia. For these guys it definitely is, but sometimes it is a critical social label

[@courtr1588]

"People aren’t made disabled because of a medical impairment" The social model of disability does not work with all disabilities/illness. Please remember this. The people who created the social model even stated it was not meant to completely replace the medical model.

[@courtr1588]

@@tyler-df3wy I am disabled. I just made my comment because if someone were to just go off of your original comment-- specifically the part that I quoted-- that they would be likely to end up invalidating many disabled people's experiences. In the disabled community we don't segregate those of us who are disabled solely by our disabilities from those who are not. With ableism on the scene, worldwide, a good chunk of us are disabled both by our bodies but also by society. I am quite literally made disabled by my disability and no amount of accommodations that the world offers me will change that. That's part of why I disagree with your original comment. Also, I acknowledge that you make a distinction between impairment and disability. I personally do not do this. I'm sure others also make that distinction but in my country disabled culture does not uphold that.

[@courtr1588]

@@tyler-df3wy You don't have to try and educate me about the social model of disability. My first comment to you already affirms that I am familiar with it. This has been a conversation in the disabled community for decades, so again, as a disabled person... I'm familiar with it. My comments are not in opposition of the social model. You don't seem to understand what I've written.

[@akinyiomer4589]

​​​@@tyler-df3wy Honestly all I can say, as someone who loves sociology and academic discussion and whatnot... that your entire discourse in this comment thread is probably a prime example of the limits of social theory and academic definitions when applied to the real world. Listen, no one here can doubt where your true intentions re: conscious inclusion of the disabled experience lie. But now I'm beginning to understand why a metric fucktonne of people are like "talk like a real person" when it comes to us socially conscious and politically nerdy types. We can be so patronising without even meaning to be. Like. Fam. You have someone who is disabled telling you in very patient terms that you're kinda being dismissive of a REAL person in favour of ACADEMIC THEORY so much so that you're not fully taking in what they say. When isn't the whole point of your work is that we as society should be more deliberate and intentional about how we understand, relate, accommodate impairment & disability? Theories can only ever be applied to a group or phenomenon in _general_ terms only. It can ONLY be understood in general terms. You have someone trying to connect with you right _here_ and you're reading it as way too much of a like ... a debate rebuttal. Instead of someone trying to helpfully point out that there are legitimate risks of flattening or erasing experience by being so precious about the social model. And that kinda close-guarded preciousness is essentially putting your books and social politics above... y'know, a real person. Like I get that academic work can be so powerfully affirming sometimes because it gives us language and modes of action to illustrate injustices we see in our world. But we also ... just have to be mindful of our shit.

[@ikyakenyatta6487]

This is my third commentary video about this and yours in undoubtedly the best LOL

[@sybill123ful]

i saw some people saying they felt bad for the wives under another video of someone watching this. and i just gotta say, if your wife is only staying with you, because she thinks she can make you straight; and that you don’t have to worry about another woman being “picked” over you, because your husband is gay- is not something to feel sorry for. they made the choice to be with a man who clearly is not into them, they are just trying to prove to themsleves that they are capable of “fixing” the men’s queerness. it’s simple homophobia, and insecurity, i do not feel bad for the wives.

[@elleofhearts8471]

I'm with you on the whole, but I can't help but remember how mysoginistic cultures also brainwash women into internalizing the idea that it's their ability and responsibility to change a man. Because every fault of the marriage falls on the woman in these cultures and if they are not able to change their husbands (psa, you cant change anyone or anyone's sexuality) they're going to be punished as well. So while I agree that at some point, these women are equally responsible, at some point religion is no longer an excuse for their actions, I can empathize with the perspective that these women have almost just as much to lose behind their husband's queerness as their husband's do. Plus there's the pressure to be married and have kids on the women too. And if the only guy you want to marry or can tolerate marriage with is queer, I can see that being a better fate than being a single woman past 25 (an "old maid") in this culture, if you dont want to or cant leave this culture. In some way it can be a survival tactic for the wives even while theyre aiding and abetting the toxic religious culture that also binds them and makes them just as miserable as their husband's.

[@ReglasdeOro]

A lot of youtubers are covering this right now and honestly this is the first video I’ve seen that actually does any analysis. Well done

[@maximumbees]

i already know TLC stands for the learning channel and yet every time i hear that it's like a punch to the gut

[@sneakysnek572]

Grabs these Mormon couples and takes a deep breath. *BISEXUALITY.*

[@pixiel1xie]

There is no way in hell these guys are bi lmao they’re clearly STRUGGLING with any sort of intimacy with a woman.

[@andiman44]

@@pixiel1xieThey could still be bi but deeply repressing the other part of your attraction can’t make intimacy with anyone easy.

[@sneakysnek572]

@ bisexual people exist. Like the guy who actually acknowledged it. I firmly believe he’s bisexual. Bi people can do comphet, and it’s just as awful for them in this situation as gay men.

[@kaywho6477]

Some of these men are obviously gay. Repressing your sexuality and forcing yourself to hide in a comphet relationship does not make you bi. In fact the bi man mentions bisexuality by name so they obviously know what it is.

[@thekennsterrrr]

KENNIE I NEED NEED NEED YOU TO WATCH PLAYING IT STRAIGHT. It’s an 00s reality dating show where one lady is kind of in a bachelorette situation, but the twist is that some of the guys are gay and she needs to weed out who’s who. I swear to god I think I’m the only person that’s seen this show and that needs to change. I’m pretty sure the whole things on KZbin. PLEASEEEEEE KENNIE IM BEGGING YOU

[@thecamelchannel1467]

I think you're cooking with this one

[@jijitters]

I think people should stop recommending this show. The last episode is entirely lost media. Does not exist anywhere, as hard as people have tried to find it. Watching a bunch of men be homophobic to each other while a poor innocent widdle woman cries at the idea of loving a gay man isn't really that fun anyway.

[@thalunizz21]

You and Kurtis covering this is hilarious. 😂

[@likeatempestinateacup]

Girl, the election fatigue is real and good for looking out for yourself. Also, “built like a rubic’s cube” made me laugh out loud so thank you.

[@plvmenace]

12:27 I love how you say it like "LGB TQunity"

[@xolileshezi257]

Who is she quoting?

[@simplydee4522]

​@xolileshezi257 The young gay black man, Andrew Campbell, who the church just shamefully prayed the gay out of him at a service resulting in him being made a mocked and made fun of. Just KZbin search of "I'm not gay no more" and the videos will pop up.

[@nycgirllauren]

@@xolileshezi257Andrew Caldwell lol

[@chiefzombie9184]

My god this is fucking depressing. I'm a lesbian and these guys remind me of when I used to claim I was bisexual with a lean towards men when I was in high school, and I genuinely believed it for a long time. I repressed so much of myself I'm in my mid-twenties and still figuring it out. I hope these men break free one day and can be proud of who they are. Edit: yes, it was catholicism

[@MsVampirestories]

Didn’t TLC have a show called Gay, Straight, or Taken? Where the woman had to guess if the guy was single, gay, or taken for a chance to win a date I think out of the country.

[@ellaolsson1223]

Big Ed deep dive we really deserve it Sorry too much pressure, but a glass of wine and your thoughts about that man would be a swell evening

[@Calithecalico1031]

I love you bringing up Mormon Stories with this, given that John Dehlin got a grad degree (can’t remember which) studying the Utah teen LGBTQ suicide epidemic and was very angry with the church for what he found.

[@annabellethomson813]

Thank you so much for mentioning Mormon Stories! I was raised Mormon and honestly, it will fuck you up. It's so important to raise awareness for this fundamentalist weirdness (cult) it needs to be talked about, and I appreciate you bringing this up

[@Alexandriakingoftrash]

God, I remember watching this when I was a kid and it did NOT help in my journey to self acceptance

[@ravenkeyana]

Omg you seriously unlocked a memory with this one. I found the entire premise of this special so wild because in a relationship like this, no one wins. The guys can’t be who they are and the women are basically dedicating their lives to being delusional about their man’s sexuality while also “managing” it. It sounds like an exhausting full time job. I also can’t fathom the idea of willingly dating/marrying someone who has to muster up the will to kiss, touch, etc me. It’s so sad because there are still people who view homosexuality (or really anything that isn’t heterosexual) as a “deviancy” and not just…how someone is. But yes, I agree that TLC hasn’t been “the learning channel” for quite some time. I could be wrong but I think it was actually the Duggars (18 kids and counting) that created that shift in direction for the channel. They did a one time special with them and it eventually just escalated into them having their own show entirely. And I guess that’s where execs realized that human spectacle is where the real money is 😓

[@theastrodim]

TLC used to be good in the 90's and you would actually learn something. Their cartoons were dope lol

[@13realmusic]

I sadly have a lot of religious trauma, but especially with this show I highly recommend Elizabeth Smart’s book. If you don’t know at 14 Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped and it was a huge case and during the “America’s Most Wanted” tv series run and it helped her get rescued. But she was a Mormon girl who went back home after 9 months of constant rape to be met with sexual shame messages from her church. In her book she details how hurtful it was with everyone knowing what she had been through, but still discussing sex outside of marriage as sinful regardless of the context. And it’s the failure of Christians to acknowledge sexual violence that I must say feels very deliberate and methodical. Survivors feel shamed and are often revictimized within their own churches. The Bible has many stories of rape, so it feels plain out purposeful to ignore it while over fixating on the idea of “sexual purity” and when there’s other factors like men SAing men it makes it even harder to speak up because of fear of being labeled gay. Women assaulting women as well is something that never even occurred to me as possible until I started reading more books on the subject.

[@AnneliseAnderson]

queer ex mormon here! growing up in the church (cult lol) there’s a HUGEEEE emphasis on “gay is just a trial given by god and all you gotta do is not act on it and then you’ll be straight in heaven!” I once came out to a girl from church and she told me “just have a straight mindset” lol The pressures and culture of Utah mormonism is TOUGH and I feel for these men. Deconstructing from mormonism was a BITCH but is so worth it and I’m sending good vibes to ex mormons MWAH

[@thecamelchannel1467]

"just have a straight mindset"................ that is horrible lol

[@dustyfanattic]

I appreciate that you really put into words what I've felt about how my father approaches my queerness. He sees it as like a mental illness, and people around me often wonder why that hurts me ig bc it's a less violent response than some families have to coming out, but you directly comparing that approach to conversion therapy is like. A huge relief honestly, if that makes sense. Like. It medicalizes it and treats it as if it is a problem that needs a solution, when it's just not. Anyway. This video was just like. A huge relief. Sometimes it's just a huge relief to see someone being empathetic in general, especially when things are looking bad in the world. So thank you.

[@Phobic42]

I was raised Mormon, and I didn't even let myself come to terms with my bisexuality until my mid 20's. Growing up being taught that anything 'not straight' is not only disgusting, but is also A SIN??!? Yep really messes with your whole sense of self.

[@MintakaSaiph]

I am so old that I remember when TLC when it was actually the learning channel. I loved a baby story

[@sassafrasfruit]

You're so right, you would do AMAZING in the sapphic dating scene, in fact you'd be TOO powerful, god had to make you straight to even the playing field.

[@oOPoisonlove0o]

As a marriage and family therapist myself....I'm scared at the number of therapists out there that are negatively influencing/psychologically harming their clients based on their individual beliefs. I really hope they aren't doing irreparable damage to their clients struggling with "SSA🙄". Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. We need to embrace ourselves and others and encourage authenticity. Life is hard enough as it is.

[@Oopsydoodles]

As someone who is pan and struggles a lot with the validity of my queerness within my heteronormative relationship, accepting that you are attracted to both men and women made me so secure in my relationship and was a massive turning point in my life identity wise.

[@MeganShumway]

as an ex-mormon lesbian the ssa shit and religious guilt is CRAAAAZY. my gf and i are both exmos in a highly Mormon area and its hard

[@WatashiMachineFullCycle]

A content creator that I used to love but am now keeping my distance from just dropped a video on this show and I was like "Man I'm kinda curious but not enough to give this person a view nor watch the show myself" and lo, your video graced my TL and all is well 😊

[@xiggles]

Sorry if this is a weird thing to ask, just out of genuine curiosity, what’s your issue with the other creator who made a video about this show? I’ve never been a frequent viewer of theirs but I’ve always regarded them as generally unproblematic and drama-free so I’m just curious what the problem is or if there was something I missed

[@SaiyanSerenityV]

​@@xiggles Oh it's fine! They themselves didn't do anything major, but they are buds with some people who have done blackface in the past and as I've had a history of getting too attached to content creators I deem wholesome I'm taking it upon myself to step away and move on. Just my personal choice there, is all.

[@SaiyanSerenityV]

(Oop this is OP, I have two KZbin accounts)

[@xiggles]

@@SaiyanSerenityV that’s totally understandable, and yeah I’ve honestly had a similar epiphany when it comes to idolizing certain creators too much lol. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question

[@yosefzohori8462]

These relationships are a bit toxic as far as the whole SSA thing goes. If these men are indeed attracted to their women (and I doubt if this is the case), then there shouldn't be a problem if there is healthy communication with each other and especially with themselves (which is clearly not there).

[@Mizuru007]

"Do you have any thoughts?" AAAAHHHHHHHHH. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I know that the trauma is LASTING and I'm genuinely throwing my heart out to everyone that's had to deal with this kind of harmful garbage.

[@gracenurse3365]

22:30 Loving friends are so important. Loving friends who fix you up with gay men without telling you they’re gay. SURPRISE!

[@gabiluch87]

I was rewatching Kennie in the Sad Boyz podcast, coz it's one of my comfort videos and I just missed you Miss JD... So happy you uploaded!

[@cheeseinnuendo3381]

At the start she mentions how there is only men who have SSA and no women, I would say that it is becasue it is so normalised for women to have suppressed sexual desires and not feel any type of attraction that those mormon women that are not attracted to men don't even realise that they aren't straight becasue they assume not being attracted to their husbands is normal.

[@PleaseBringTide]

Honestly I feel bad for both parties for once not just the women, like they’re both in a Mormon community in Utah probably grew up in that environment too ofc they’re gonna do everything they can to deny themselves actual happiness you grow up believing there’s no other way besides isolation and hell