THE DATING SHOW WHERE NO ONE SHOULD BE TOGETHER | NETFLIX’s THE ULTIMATUM | KennieJD

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~TIMESTAMPS~
Hellos and Intro 0:00
Today’s Sponsor 1:13
The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On Concept 2:47
Episode 1 7:46
Episode 2 21:07
Episode 3 25:29
Episode 4 29:53
Episode 5 34:41
Episode 6 38:45
Episode 7 47:08
Episode 8 53:24
Episode 9 57:18
Episode 10 58:30
Final Thoughts 1:01:42
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[@KennieJD]

No you aren't crazy, this is a reupload. The last 5 minutes were frozen before~

[@oopoop4883]

Oh ok

[@manuelhernandez9956]

I was concerned

[@Kira-jz5cz]

Lmao it’s alright thanks for reuploading

[@beverlyaboateng]

Yes ma'am I was 95% of the way through that! 😭

[@cbluc3611]

Omg I thought I just daydream the whole thing 😂

[@elidelulu]

The fuck is a "only one child" compromise? She still has to give birth and and raise A WHOLE HUMAN. It's not like buying a goldfish.

[@Toxihex]

People have too many rights. How the hell are these kinds of people allowed to breed? Anyone who thinks a child is just, something that happens in life shouldn't be allowed to be anywhere near one.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

YEEEESSSSSS. And only children are often more work tbh, because they don't have a sibling to play with. So, as an only child up until my teens, I can say my mom and I were close. She played kid games with me to make me happy and keep me engaged. My mom also wanted a kid really bad and I was a surprise blessing to her just when she thought it may never happen. It's totally fine if you WANT a kid to have an only child. It can be great if you are into Mommy and Me groups and things like that. But the worse thing you can do to an only child early in their life is reluctantly allow them to exist in your space. It's a whole human who's formative years will be tramatic.

[@lydialeblanc7341]

RIGHT?? And think about that poor child watching this years later and sees that their Mom didn’t want them so much so they went on a whole ass reality show over it…

[@ThexDynastxQueen]

Exactly. She gave Nate what he wanted and now has a child she doesn't even want for ~18 years at the very least, THAT IS NOT A COMPROMISE! Where are the No Men at?! Cause as fun as it is to watch people ruin their lives for our entertainment, it stops being funny when a baby is forced in, stop.

[@ionknowmyyt3820]

YESSS and A CHILD is not a decision that you want to regret later on like if you can't 100% say you want a kid DONT HAVE ONE

[@Jay-bh1xm]

Just want say that if you 100% want kids and your partner 100% does NOT want kids, break up. Please. You can’t change their mind, and they won’t change yours. Don’t sit around hoping that someone will magically want to/not want to have children. It blows my mind how many people will simply ignore irreconcilable differences like this. My preference and life choices are dealbreakers for a lot of people, so I’m open about things like not wanting to have kids. I can’t imagine wasting 2 years with someone who doesn’t want the same future as me

[@Shyknit]

Forreal and then they have the kid and it either breaks their relationship anyways or the kid possibly grows up with a resentful parent Edit: Some people need to really realize how a child, *a whole human being* , connects you to the person most likely irreversibly. You may want children but make sure it's with the right person and if you don't want kids but your partner does you need to take the steps to prevent it cause they may not. If you are gonna be with that person either take all the steps you can to prevent it or be ready for the possibility that you and that person will be connected for at the very least 18 years to life 🤷‍♀️

[@cam4636]

Like seriously, there are reasons to break up beyond "I hate this person and can't stand to be near them." If you're trying to bring a new human being into the world you need to be prepared for that, and that includes getting the consent of the person helping you out on that.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

This is how dysfunctional families get started. Someone is pushed into kids when they don't want to be a parent.

[@AmethystEyes]

Exactly and human beings (children) aren’t to be gambled with.

[@dianehutchinson9257]

Amen to that!

[@tacticalmisandrist]

The mantra for this entire show should be “don’t ever let somebody tell you they don’t want you twice.”

[@tinycindy2977]

@@WhitneyDahlin she didn't need to give an ultimatum, she needed to dump his flakey @ss 5 years ago LOL. They are both 30+, they even bought a home together and live together, why is he so afraid of being legally married? It is so icky let's not normalise this behaviour and let young women get into weird relationships like these.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

@@tinycindy2977 why should he have to marry her for the relationship to be valid though? He bought a house with her why wasn't that enough? Neither of them want kids either and have taken permanent steps to be sure they don't get pregnant. Why would she want to marry someone who doesn't want to marry her in first place? To be fair my brother-in-law isn't a bad guy but his parents had a really f****** toxic marriage and then really toxic second marriages so there are reasons that have nothing to do with being a terrible person or flakey, that someone wouldnt want to get married. So I think that put him off marriage. They actually just got married less than a month ago so let's see if things go downhill. I doubt a marriage built on resentment and ultimatums is going to last

[@emiwarble]

A fellow Judge Lynn Toler fan ❤️

[@damieo8139]

He should have worked on himself and handled his trauma. It is very selfish to delay committing to someone for your own benefit.

[@chicknugs]

When Jake told April “don’t worry I won’t run off with Rae” and not even 10 mins later met up with Rae and offered her tickets to leave the country with him. Isn’t that.. running off together..

[@Tuoyo3005]

Walking maybe? 😂

[@yummystar1102]

Right that was so confusing but honestly they were so cute together

[@katielowery1925]

he felt bad for april and that was the only reason he was still with her

[@Sailor.Catracha]

And when his mom told him she didn't like Rae but he still told Rae his mom liked her

[@cybeshi]

I think he and Rae didn't form a relationship because they felt guilty for their ex partners. Which is a pity. They adore each other, match well together and build each other up, which is what makes for really great relationships.

[@sweetpary]

What killed me was that the Lacheys kept referring to this as an "experiment," as if a team of dating experts and psychologists conceived it and not a group of messy TV producers.

[@AndSoWeLaughed]

Or that they were collecting data and this was a science. Looool. “It’s a reality show babes”. They really should’ve had psychologists. It would’ve kicked the show up a notch actually. And given us more insight into their psyches.

[@lordskeletor481]

The Lacheys looking over their array of Netflix reality dating shows, rapidly scribbling notes onto a clipboard. They study the contestants brain scans and finally reach the conclusion of what concept makes the most cringe-inducing-cant-look-away-trainwreck for reality dating.

[@thejoyism8]

That’s what bothered me SO MUCH about love is blind too. They act like it’s some well researched experiment like no some producers just put y’all in some pods and said go wild

[@KE-hr4sb]

They don't like to say "this show." If you watched The Bachelor or any of its spin-offs, they refer to that one as "this process." One of the contestants said it was a requirement.

[@tfh5575]

😭

[@shanicemorton9497]

Colby has what I categorize as the “Protagonist” Syndrome. He’s overwhelming “positive” and idealistic. He believes everything he does is with good intentions. He’s the toxic “good guy”.

[@elleofhearts8471]

the kicker is that protagonists aren't always right or good. This guy sees himself as the protagonist of his own life but doesn't realize you can be the protagonist AND wrong at the same time and just because youre the protagonist doesnt mean you cant be wrong or are justified through and through. Hes a child's idea of a protagonist.

[@southchild_]

and that's also what we call a narcissist. Very good at charming people and convincing them that they're great, well intended and just good - but behind closed doors, hoo boy. That is why they manage to make their partners seem crazy in comparison, people won't believe ill of the narc until they experience it first-hand.

[@katet8639]

Aka Ted Bundy in the making. He just gives me killer vibes and weird. Idk he scares me.

[@deliannevizcarrondo6315]

Lol sounds like my ex

[@ionknowmyyt3820]

HE IS A WHITE MAN MANIPULATORRRRR

[@VerushkaPillay94]

For me this show was a combination of "the straights are at it again" and "the patriarchy got y'all in a chokehold"

[@deladen]

lol exactly it's the only reason i was able to complete the show

[@NellyLikesPirates]

i've been coming to the realisation lately that everyone on american reality shows are conservatives 💀 after realising that so much shit makes sense.

[@zaramikazuki8374]

No kidding - this whole show is the poster child of the r/arethestraightsok subreddit.

[@nonbinaryprincess677]

Apparently they wanna add GAY on season 2🥹🥹 I’m so ready for more mess

[@west533]

@@NellyLikesPirates Congratulations on coming to the realisation that 85% of the world is Conservative. And American Conservative people would pass as Liberal in most non Western countries because America and Western Europe are very Liberal in comparison to the rest of the world and they all bear the self righteous behaviours that all liberal people seem to bear without even knowing it. Congratulations on realising that most people do not like gays, even more people hate transgenders. Most people don't support abortion. Most people don't care about diversity or anything of the sort (unless of course it directly affects them). Congratulations on realising that. Also when it comes to reality television, it is more of a Liberal thing so believe me when I say most participants are American Liberals.

[@Neogirl2004]

As someone who can give birth who never wants to have children (or at least, never give birth to any) there's nothing that disgusts me more than people hearing that their partner doesn't want children and thinking "that's okay i can change their mind." Biggest red flag in the world imo

[@medea4751]

same boat here, i wanted to shrivel up n die when kennie was explaining it

[@izzyclare_]

The way Colby is like 'I know I can fix Lauren, I can make her want kids' I was like 'oh you're TOXIC toxic, okay then'. He didn't want a partner, he wanted a doll to control and manipulate, which is exactly why he didn't go for any of the girls that wanted what he said he wanted. Alexis was dramatic and childish when he rejected her, but she was accidentally right

[@MochaxMatcha]

RIGHT!?

[@Snow-xd4rv]

Huh, isn't trying to "fix someone" a issue that happens to both genders. That mindset usually tends to happen with a lot of women who get themselves in abusive relationships

[@bubblezzxxd15]

@@Snow-xd4rv at what point did the op mention gender at all? They said Colby

[@Snow-xd4rv]

@@bubblezzxxd15 Literally not that big a deal. Stop letting one KZbin comment put a stick up your ass, and I mentioned gender, cause that mentality used to be mainly targeted at young women in toxic relationships. Now move on, I put my thoughts in a youtube comment like everyone else. Go be bothered by yourself.

[@sweetytweety1671]

@@Snow-xd4rv itching for a fight i see...

[@Charlie_Wolfe]

“She doesn’t open up because he’s argumentative and she doesn’t want to start arguments all the time.” Ooooh I felt that in my soulllll!!!

[@Social_Pugatory]

The quintessential toxic relationship

[@julesking1303]

as someone who comes from a home life where the dynamic between my parents was often verbally, aggressively, abusively argumentative, FUCK YES THAT IS A GIANT RED FLAG!! like yeah sure, you don’t need to be with someone who you 100% agree with, but even the lowest severity of arguments can become extremely stressful to deal with when it’s repetitive. **Especially** if it’s on a reality show!!! Because if that’s the dynamic they’re willing to portray ON TELEVISION, IN PUBLIC, it could get so extremely, exponentially worse in private

[@brianarobinson8043]

people on twitter was like shes a bad communicator. No hes yelling lall the time so she doesnt know how to talk to him lol

[@julesking1303]

@@brianarobinson8043 twitter straight up doesn’t understand that “yelling to make a point” isn’t just like “showing how enthusiastic you are” or “how much you care” it is a form of verbal aggression and people with a history of being verbally abused are going to shut down communication-wise very fast as a full on trauma response. Not to reference You because it’s the fuckin worst at realistic toxic dynamics, but in season two the character Love at one point says outright to her partner (the lead) “you don’t have to yell. ever” to set a boundary during an argument and that was actually a damn good line. Too bad they ruined it by making her a psycho.

[@Sleipnirseight]

Sooooo many red flags 😬😬😬

[@Syd448]

Did everyone miss Lauren saying she did want kids? She didn’t want kids in the relationship she was currently in, because he’s always gone and she didn’t think he would help. I haven’t heard anyone mention that and it drives me nuts 😩

[@MF-oo1et]

Ikr!! She's not against the idea of having kids she's wasn't sure about nate being a good partner to do that bc he's a workaholic

[@laer.393]

i almost forgot about this because everyone kind of has glossed over it, which is why i didn’t think Colby thinking he could sway her on the situation was completely rude/creepy (he did end up being a weirdo though!). She basically admitted that she didn’t feel prepared to raise a child essentially alone if Nate(?) wasn’t gonna be present but if things were different she could consider it

[@PrettyPinkPeacock]

Exactly! She's so spoken over by everyone. Nate: I've 100% gotta have kids no compromise Colby: I'm 100% gonna convince Lauren she wants kids Childfree people: She 100% should break up because she does not want kids Alexis and April: it's 100% a fake proposal because they disagree on kids Actual Lauren: I just want to have a realistic conversation about co-parenting before I rush into kids??? (And she's totally right about this as well which is what's so infuriating!)

[@Syd448]

@@laer.393 I think it just really stood out to me because I totally understand that feeling so I’ve been shocked it hasn’t been brought up more!

[@Syd448]

@@PrettyPinkPeacock 100% agree! I can relate, if you can’t depend on your partner no reason to bring a child into that! Just shows these people should of had a conversation instead of going on a show 😆 hopefully they figure it out!

[@MayaTheBeeeeee]

The whole madlyn Colby thing was CRAZY. She HATES him and now they’re pregnant???

[@muyo77]

When the producer asked Rae why she loved and wanted to marry Zay and she said, "Can we skip that question and come back to it?" oooh I lost my shit.

[@KK-pu8tr]

That was so weird to me. She was the one giving him an ultimate but doesn’t even know why she’s with him 💀🤦🏾‍♀️ girl what

[@muyo77]

@@KK-pu8tr Right?! Most of these people wanted to be married but it seemed like they didn't care who it was with.

[@muyo77]

@@KK-pu8tr Right?! Most of these people wanted to be married but it seemed like they didn't care who it was with.

[@SlavaZone]

@@muyo77 When marriage is idolized since birth as the ultimate thing a woman can be, some women can get trapped and feel like they should be married as soon as they're an adult, and may not care who it is with as long as they fulfil this "duty." It's weird and sad.

[@angellovex5860]

But then she could answer why she loved Jake. I really think she wasn't right for Zay

[@LovyAubry]

Colby wants kids but gots no money😂 sweetheart your priorities are offfffff

[@MsElizaRae]

Notice this mindset a lot 🤣

[@camdenhunt7565]

@@MsElizaRae they seem to think the money will magically appear somehow after the baby idk lmao as a preschool teacher, i can tell you how ridiculously expensive children are

[@MsElizaRae]

@@camdenhunt7565 As a live in Aunt, trust I know 😂😂😂😂😂

[@IsCedar]

He seems like he has some family wealth, the arrogance, entitlement and playing polo, the eccentric expensive pieces

[@fatimahijazi599]

He's not poor. He has a decent job, and a decent pay. It's just that Alexis kept talking about how she wanted a "rich husband" and wanted to live a life that is very upscale.

[@alanna4499]

having a child for the sake of your partner when you don’t want a child will never be a “compromise”. she’s doing exactly what she didn’t want to do…

[@AV-we6wo]

Exactly. Someone else made a comment about that which made me laugh: a compromise would be getting a dog 😀

[@sethuposwa9860]

The one lesson I have learnt from Colby is that if there is anything that men have, it's the audacity...

[@hurphenelondwil2419]

*white men

[@somemong989]

The lion the witch and the audacity of this bitch.

[@JasonToddsThighs]

​​@@hurphenelondwil2419 Gay & latino guy here. Men are kinda trash no matter how they identify, it's not just exclusive to white cishet men :/

[@jjan3]

@@hurphenelondwil2419 *men

[@ayomidedareabel5525]

Happy realization

[@wynterr5080]

i didn’t like jake cause he could’ve just broke up with April. like when they had their last night together he keep reassuring her that he loves and wants to marry her but in reality he didn’t.

[@ughhdanni]

fr!! he was constantly lying for no reason

[@ajheartsong]

Yea I think the only reason he stayed with April initially is because his mom liked her more than Rae 🤔

[@aaliyah4270]

@@ajheartsong literally that’s what i thought too

[@cybeshi]

He was caught in an emotionally abusive relationship there.

[@Tam974eva]

@@cybeshi how was is emotionally abusive though? I think they are just incompatible or he doesn't feel true chemistry with her. she is simply trying to build with him but he won't have it.

[@mfuentes4961]

Netflix really chose the MESSIEST people to be on this show… Like they are so immature, insecure, and lack the emotional intelligence needed to have a good foundation for marriage. But I guess they got what they wanted because there was so much drama.🤷🏽‍♀️

[@MADEbySOUL]

Now the real tv might just be the BTS casting of these shows. How they chose and if they actually look for couples they know will end up a dumpster fire.

[@melvv18]

I feel like anybody with sense and maturity wouldn't be on a show like this, so anyone sign up for this, they have to messy in someway.

[@SoufyAsth]

Maybe of Netflix wouldn't choose poeple so young....

[@Purplefrilly]

Maybe the concept/show already attracts messy

[@jayzt705]

It's not like a show with this concept would ever be less messy with more mature people 😂 because why would they voluntere to go on this insanity

[@laurenelizabeth541]

I didn’t like Colby from the minute I saw him. He gave me covert narcissist and manipulator vibes. He totally gaslit Madlyn and then married her before she could say no. When I saw her pregnant at the reunion I literally got chills. He’s bad news.

[@laurenelizabeth541]

I’m glad you mentioned the hosts too, they are also not the innocents ones in this lol

[@user-bk8qv4lv6o]

Colby constantly gaslights Madelyn (you can literally watch her question her sanity in real time) and it doesn’t surprise me he immediately wanted to get her pregnant so it’s more difficult for her to leave him. this is common for partners that are emotional abusive; they coerce, manipulate, love bomb and trap

[@chelseagray1070]

I feel like Colby trapped Madlyn. "Let's get married immediately! (So you can't say no later)"

[@neda2377]

Then knocked her up

[@corporatehippie5275]

Yup, that's what I said too. Pretty sure she got pregnant while filming, wouldn't be surprised if he poked a hole in the condom.

[@Tink00]

Nah, she was already pregnant by then, and they got married because ain't no Texas heteros having a baby out of wedlock 🤣

[@rosevlogs6948]

@@neda2377 it could be why she even said yes in the first place. She was 7 months pregnant at the reunion but the show ended 6 months prior. So she could've been pregnant when married.

[@bushdenae]

@@rosevlogs6948 I thought I was just hearing things wrong, but they definitely said the show ended 6 months ago and she’s 7 months pregnant. Or maybe when they were saying 6 months they meant “like” 6 months but anyway I’m confused lol wish them the best tho

[@kiera6646]

None of them *really* want to get married. What they want is a wedding and a diamond ring.

[@jellyrcw12]

They want the wedding, not the marriage

[@vcgomeez]

Shameful and embarrassing to say the least

[@yzma9959]

I kind of feel bad for Madlyn. As trashy as she is, Colby is just completely nuts and out of touch. When he was going off about how he „made April a woman” it was so cringy that you can see the second hand embarassment at 40:49 xD

[@squawkietalkie56]

what a weird thing for him to say. like what, did you not consider her a woman before 😭

[@PrettyPinkPeacock]

Madelyn is actually hilarious. I grew to really like her towards the end even if she's a bit ridiculous!

[@samanthaandal6580]

It just hit me as you were explaining the first episode: Colby is a cult leader. He has all the qualities of a cult leader: charming, charismatic, has an underlying skeeze that very few people will ever pick up on, most of the women were drawn to him at first & would have picked him as their trial partner at one point, but he picks the one girl who he can "convert". And he's an expert at love-bombing & gaslighting. He has every single quality that makes a good cult leader.

[@omomayowaakande7364]

Because it's so weird that the one person he was attracted to didn't want any kids. I try to understand why people read so much evil into Colby's actions. He is positive and optimistic and goes after he wants. That's all I see. As for the thingy with the girl outside the show, Colby couldn't find what he needed from the experiment from April and decided to get it from someone outside the show. That's what he keeps emphasizing is his perspective on the matter and I don't understand why his opinions are being disregarded so much out here. I honestly think that a lot of women are projecting their own damage to him.

[@clarerichardson8770]

@@omomayowaakande7364 If you can't see how "I MADE OUT WITH THIS OTHER GIRL FOR YOU" is fucked up then you need Jesus, friendo

[@cam4636]

@@omomayowaakande7364 "He goes after what he wants" which is exactly what his would-be partner doesn't want, and rather than find someone who has the same goal he forces his partner to fit his designs. He acts a skeeze and then blames the person who gets upset with him. He's doing bad shit, that's why he's a bad guy.

[@omomayowaakande7364]

@@cam4636 I'll reserve my comments about a lady who doesn't want a guy that knows what he wants. As for trying to get his partner to go with what he wants...that's what being in a relationship is @ compromise. It's funny how very commonplace traits in the dating world are now being viewed as being Machiavellian. I'm tired of all the very unjustified hate that has been coming his way, people should please try to resolve their own trauma and wish the couple that have decided to stick it through, nothing but the best. If there's any person out here with a degree in psychology, I'll be ready to listen to their diagnosis.,😁

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

@@omomayowaakande7364 stfu he ended up kissing and texting multiple women

[@alyssaj8779]

I think Alexis kind of covered up some of Colby's red flags for me because she was being SO WEIRD AND DRAMATIC about him not liking her that it made him seem nice and reasonable just in comparison. Then by the end of the show, I was thinking "nevermind she saw what I didn't then".

[@landlovessky]

I don't even think she "saw what we didn't", while she ended up being right in her analysis her reasoning was off. Throughout the show she gave off the impression of a woman who found out that she wasn't necessarily as desirable to everyone as she thinks. Which, IMO, was probably the reason she stood up before Hunter was about to make his choice and went on that whole rant about how she couldn't handle him living with someone else, which while that might be true may have stemmed more from the fact that she was everyone else's last choice. The way she went about Colby's straightforward rejection of "I don't find you attractive" was concerning. It was probably the first time she had heard that in her life and she didn't know how to handle it well.

[@crystalcleorrr-8028]

@@landlovessky this!!

[@itsdiamondnicole]

@@landlovessky EXACTLY!! She even said it when she stood up. She mentioned something along the lines of "I'm not upset because everyone didnt fall for me" like... where did that come from? She showed her true feelings in that moment. Just like Nate, her ego was hurt and she didnt want to be in the experiment anymore.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

I mean I don't give Alexis any credit, she was just upset that Colby wasn't attracted to her. If he was the exact same toxic person but thought she was hot she probably would have been on the show defending his toxic behavior. Her insight wasn't "insight", it was just ego.

[@SoufyAsth]

I am 100% sure she saw something we couldn't witness maybe due to editing

[@queentemitayo]

I didn’t like Rae and Jake AT ALL. Rae was very much giving “pick me” because of how she acted throughout the TV show. Rae is the type if person who molds herself to be with whoever she’s with at the moment. Jake was wrong for lying to April throughout the experiment. But the very last thing that drove me nuts was when Jake said “it’s not like me and April are going to run off together” then he offered Rae two tickets to fly anywhere in the world. 🙃

[@fatimahijazi599]

I completely agree. If you ever meet someone who seems perfect at first, like they're the coolest, most easy going human you've ever met, they seem to have all the qualities you want, you're in for a surprise. They are probably very toxic and emotionally unstable. That's exactly the vibe i got from Rae. And as we can see from the reunion, she truly is a mess.

[@Tink00]

I'm on the anti-Jake wagon, mainly because of the way he would constantly berate April and accuse her of starting fights and being cruel to him, when meanwhile HE was the one starting fights and being cruel to her. I obviously don't know their whole personalities or relationship, but as far as the "characters" we saw on the show, he came off as aggressive and hypocritical and I did not get what April saw in him 😅

[@ruuuuuuuuuuuuun]

Colby had so many red flags from the minute he got there. - thinking he could make someone want kids in 3 weeks - the way he spoke about April after the 3 weeks and how he loved watching her become a woman - he'd always want to tell the story and control the narrative - he never listened to Madelyn, especially when she didn't agree with him - he said he made out with a girl FOR MADELYN????? - he proposed and then married Madelyn straight after - he got Madelyn pregant straight after

[@kellycowley3535]

@Day I think they meant like Colby went straight into getting her pregnant so he could use the baby to trap her into staying with him. (Like with the proposal and marriage, they are all things that he can use to make it harder for her to leave him).

[@ahoam]

He also became emotionally and physically distant after Madlyn found out he'd been talking to other women; I'm pretty sure he disappeared for days

[@ruuuuuuuuuuuuun]

@@kellycowley3535 exactly!!! Now that she's pregnant it's even harder for her to leave him

[@evertt7326]

What I find hilarious is how late everyone caught red flags on Colby. Like- he wasn’t with us from episode one and remained wildly self-centred to the end. There was truly no villain arc with my guy, Alexis just accidentally made him look good for a hot minute by being shallow and vindictive.

[@sweetie_babie]

There are some that speculate that she got pregnant during the show and that's the only reason she said yes. She said she was seven months along, but Nick and Vanessa kept saying the reunion was six months after the show

[@brown14suga]

I can't get over how awkward this show was. It didn't expect them "dating", meeting up, and hanging out during dating. Madlyn's attraction to Randall was so weird to me, it gave me fetish vibes.

[@emanx222]

You're honestly preaching!!!! Lord alive I felt the same way 😆.

[@sweetie_babie]

Every time she was on the screen talking about Randall my brain said: "I heard that she's a chocolate chaser, I heard she like that caramel!!!" That video lives rent free in my mind😂

[@katielowery1925]

i thought the same lmfaoo i think she said something ab his skin and that’s when i knew it

[@christmastiger]

Yeah, didn't love how she kept saying over and over how he "checked all of the boxes in a prospective partner" or whatever but most of the time never listed what those things were and just talked about how hot he was

[@QUISPEECH]

She realized shes not getting black penn and went straight back to Colby. Lol Randall was NOT GONNA BUDGE and YES if there was another black woman, randall would have chosen black. Sorry not sorry but madelyn was Just trying to have some "black tea" for her friends.....smh so sick. Also them saying " we chose the bottom of the barrel throughout this process....colby chose Philippine and madelyn chose black....I saw right through that. Smh. But at least shanique and randall dodged a BIG BULLET🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🧿🧿🧿❤

[@nicholaskajder4672]

i actually really liked April 😭yeah she could be annoying sometimes, but she honestly seemed so genuine and like a nice, wholesome person who just wants to be loved

[@strawbberrygirl]

I literally laughed out loud when they said all the couples have been together “long term” then showed the first couple who has been together for 1 1/2 years.... that’s literally nothing! I was expecting people who were together for like 6+ years

[@MayaParris]

I’m sorry but I hated Jake and Rae. They kept saying “We have so much in common.” Meanwhile all they ha e in common is liking their mothers and being biracial. It was sooo superficial. Like they had one geniune convo and then all the convos after that were like “we have so much in common.” And people don’t dislike Jake bc he hit it off with Rae, they dislike Jake bc he lied to April and Rae to try to work it out with both of them instead of just letting April know how into Rae he actually was and letting Rae know that his mother didn’t like her. He was being a coward the entire time.

[@lalabby1324]

Omg yes thank you! I was so surprised that Kennie liked them.

[@emmy5255]

I'm cryiing but I will say their personalities were definitely quite similar. From what we did see it looked like their future plans matched up. It deffo annoyed me too when he spent the entire 3 weeks with April pretending, he still wanted to be with her, he actually ended up harbouring a lot of resent for her and despite what he was saying it still showed.

[@lydia-roseaigbedion6025]

@@emmy5255 their personalities aligned but not their plans. Rae wanted to get married and have kids asap. While Jake wanted to date around and understand himself. Rae only changed her mind after meeting Jake which isn't an issue but then what was the point of continuing with the ultimatum?

[@emmy5255]

@@lydia-roseaigbedion6025 I don't know what she was thinking, it was such a weird situation

[@christianaayodele]

Thank you facts plus they're scenes together were so dry to watch

[@matam3327]

Colby kinda reminds me of Joe Goldberg from "You" (minus the killing ofc), cuz like he glamourizes women but dont actually treat them like people. Also the "i did this bad thing for u".

[@LenaTate]

Yeahhh he’s a misogynist and a narcissist

[@oreb]

And weirdly infantilizing women like, “Silly woman, you don’t know what’s good for you. *I* know what’s good for you. And it’s whatever I want ofc.”

[@matam3327]

@@oreb yeah exactly. Also the "April became a women" 😂😂i cant-

[@emmy5255]

omg I thought the exact same thing

[@katielowery1925]

he’s overly positive bc he’s over compensating for knowing he’s actually not the “good guy” he thinks he is

[@theorangeterror002]

I love how the analysis on Rae online is “Oh she doesn’t feel heard, he’s always talking over her” but literally every time we saw them argue on screen it was either her talking over him or him literally pulling tooth and nail to get her to say something. Like, its kinda wild to watch because I feel like damn is NOBODY else seeing this????? From jump she either shuts him up with sex/kissing or she just brushes past the situation. Not negating that Zay needs therapy, but Rae is not absolved of her part in the way the relationship plays out. Watching him with her family was so hard, because for 1 they clearly coddle her but when she said “he talks too long” I was like damn, clearly he feels insecure about his speech and takes his time to not sound unintelligible and this man is like, crying at the table and you’re just like whatever. It didn’t feel like love was there on her part, only lust and this air of “You should want me I’m a catch”. She gives the vibe the she came on the show to find someone else so she could break up but not be alone.

[@fatimahijazi599]

I completely agree. I can't believe this was never mentioned in this video. The video kind of made Zay seem like he was the whole problem, and I agree he has his moments but he at least seemed genuine and like he loved Rae. She seemed like she didn't love him and couldn't even stand talking to him. Rae was red flags for me the whole time. Especially how she acted like she was the coolest person ever with Jake and got him to like her and in the end, kicked him to the curb. She's lost.

[@manda6162]

When they first appeared on screen, I immediately clocked that Zay has probably cheated in the past, probably multiple times. Everything they said about the relationship afterwards just solidified it for me, such as him being a party promoter and her putting a really big emphasis on trust. Rae (to me) seemed like the kind of reactive that would ‘cheat back’ on him and ultimately the relationship just ends up being a black hole of revenge and toxicity until you realize that you don’t even like the person anymore, they’re just a habit. So while I think there was definitely love at the beginning of their relationship, too much has happened I think so by this time, what we’re seeing is two people who had already kind of checked out of the relationship checking out of it completely and they do not care about each other and their feelings. I went to school with so many couples like this and the ones that are still together are miserable and absolutely HATE each other.

[@graceojo8215]

@@manda6162 I felt this too!! At first I really liked Zay cos he came across and loving and communicative and calm. But as it went on and the problems became more obvious I was like… 1) I see the not wanting to start arguments thing but if it’s like that, leave. I think there was stuff behind the scenes that would make her reactions make more sense to me, cos to ME she was refusing to speak up and silently seething. 2) I deffo see the past cheating angle cos she came across as really cold towards Zay and only had negative things say, was questioning his loyalty and that. And when Zay blew up at Colby abt implying he was with other people, at first I thought he was being loyal and now, it feels like it was to save face for Rae, to PROVE he was loyal, almost as if… Super run on sentences but basically, Rae didn’t trust him or love him as much as she wanted to and he was overcompensating and not ready for marriage. Should have broken up before even coming to the show.

[@daisylovesnoodles2166]

I agree never liked her or Jake. Both tried to cover up their shit and projecting it to their partners.That’s why they wanted to be together and sickened me.Not sure why everyone else likes them.They were the worst in my opinion.

[@summerj5279]

fr in the reunion episode when she was mad about him and Shanique she was yelling at him the whole time but then tried saying he was talking over her?

[@roux823]

That was totally a panic proposal from Nate. He even says the thought of going through with the show freaked him out. And I mean you can’t compromise on kids. You either have them or you don’t, there is no in between

[@faithche-qo1sp]

They talked after the show and he stated that the directors helped him plan it and it was fake but she was just wanting off the show and so he did this to help her out and they didn't even know if they were going to stay together or not but they both agreed to do it just to get off the show

[@LifeisaBeautifulting]

@@faithche-qo1spInteresting I didn't know that

[@jayxx9838]

let's be clear, I need your IN DEPTH review/commentary for ALL these messy Netflix reality shows, broken down by episodes and events. No one else does it like you

[@EnhypenHype]

Honestly if you love drama Ultimatum and Love is Blind is good but it’s super toxic LOL

[@benny687]

Tbh, i prefer these videos over bad movies and a beat

[@solaris5922]

@@benny687 lol, I’m indecisive. I like both so much

[@leighfei]

Married at first sight is insane

[@Nellie_95]

So the reunion was 6 months after shooting ended…Madelyn is 7 months pregnant….I dunno bout you but that math says shot gun wedding

[@jeremyd5850]

I thought it was 5 months but even if it was 6. She got pregnant right before or during taping. I give it 6 weeks after the baby comes and she get her body back. Maybe 9 months if she is breastfeeding

[@musiclover-hg7mj]

That's exactly what I thought!

[@ughhdanni]

it was 9 months. Jake got the timing wrong

[@bmaze944]

I think she's due May 2022 so not a shotgun wedding but she got pregnant pretty quickly. The show was filmed last March- May.

[@NellyLikesPirates]

@@jeremyd5850 ?? why are you talking about and making predictions about her body...

[@kourtnie3609]

I felt terrible for Lauren honestly. Nate panicked that he wasn’t getting picked and snatched Lauren’s ass off that show so quick I thought her head was going to start spinning. You can kind of see her shoulders slump when he jumps up to propose to her too. I think she could have learned a lot from the experiment but Nate took that from her. Alexis’s declaration was due to a meltdown too. The guy she wanted didn’t want her and she couldn’t take it. She looked around and realized that she didn’t have any options so she started crying and her bf rescued her. He’s a nice guy to save her like that but he should have let her figure it out for herself. And you made a good point about Colby’s weird obsession with changing womens minds about having kids. I didn’t even think about that.

[@robotoorigato7288]

I lowkey wanna go on one of these types of dating shows. Not to find someone to love, no, but to just have a mini vacation and free entertainment as I watch everyone yell and scream at each other. And also to just be the one person with common sense as a palate cleanser for the audience.

[@happy80thgertrude25]

My favorite part of this show is when Madlynn gets her friends together and chews out Colby. It’s like I wish I would’ve thought to do that with my terrible ex. Just an entire table of girls being like “BOOOOO!! YOU SUCK!!”

[@ShadowRayne16]

It makes it even more embarrassing that shes sayed with him though. Like I know her friends are so annoyed.

[@littlered6340]

@@ShadowRayne16 as someone who has been the friend before, and was at the wedding, YUUUUP

[@sanjanasriv]

All I gotta say is, that poor poor child. I hope the money they got from this show goes directly to its future therapy fund

[@kurlykayla9013]

@@ShadowRayne16 Madlyn said that if she's happy then her friends are happy, but I just KNOW behind closed doors they got all the shit to say about Colby Jack

[@solaris5922]

@@ShadowRayne16 I couldn’t be friends with people like that, keep them at a distance

[@Goosethelabrador]

I’m shocked that you didn’t talk about the fact that Madeline literally fetishes Randall so much to the point that they cut it out at the end like the reunion special they didn’t even talk about it 😂 all of her friends do as well

[@cyberizd]

I thought I was the only one who noticed how weird madlyn‘s behavior towards Randall was… it was really giving “My First BBC”

[@ritchieashley8843]

Yea I got fetishization vibes from when Madeline came up to Randall - I’m surprised Kennie was impressed by it.

[@Bookauru]

@@ritchieashley8843 Kennie said on live she thought Madlyn kinda fetishized him but she had no proof of it so I guess that’s why she didn’t bring it up here

[@Tink00]

Not only that, she tried so hard to coerce him into sex! He set clear boundaries and she constantly tried to push them and pouted when he wouldn't sleep with her.

[@Goosethelabrador]

@@Tink00 yesss it was gross I think she wanted to have that control like once he had sex with her he would belong to her 😂 I really love that he stuck to his guns about getting intimate with her especially when she was drunk! Because she could’ve easily flipped that

[@EllaBeth30]

So Madlyn said that she is 7 months pregnant but then Zay mentions that they are filming the reunion 6 months after the show ended which would mean that Madlyn got pregnant during the show. That would explain their quick engagement and mariage right after provided that Colby wa aware of the pregnancy.

[@niuuww5337]

Honestly I'm surprised Kennie didn't see right through Jake and Rae, their "connection" was all very superficial and that's why they ended up not working out in the end, also the minute jake met rae and realized that he might like her he went straight to April to just blame her for their problem and make her feel guilty that he likes another girl. The same thing with Rae she's just one of those im nice I dont hurt people kind of girls but in reality they're just emotional manipulators... Really hated them! Lmao

[@niuuww5337]

Colby gives off serial killer vibes ngl, madelyn should've just ran and raised her baby alone. From my understanding she got pregnant at the start of the show and i feel like she found out after their last breakup and that's why she agreed to marry him. Ppl on twitter were saying that colby is in it because madelyns father was some sort of businessman he's on some material gworl shit lmao

[@alysiavanbeverhoudt6514]

SAME THANK YOU!

[@nataliehernandez4617]

Also Jake didn't even think about April once he met Rae. At least Rae was a little conflicted between zay and Jake. Jake lowkey probably cheated on april in their relationship, him being an ex marine doesnt help either. He was checked out of their relationship before she brought him on the show. I felt no sympathy for Jake and Rae by the end, both were awful. Made for good trash tv though

[@luizafernandes3955]

Jake was a total manipulator. When he connected with rae he just coudn't stand the responsibility of being the one to upset april, so he went straight to accusing her of being the worst girlfriend ever to make her the bad guy. I hated him the most honestly

[@christianaayodele]

So superficial, "you're biracial I'm biracial, we have so much in common"

[@Slm99]

Love is blind, Single’s Inferno and now this. Netflix is in a messy dating show era.

[@terryr4623]

And I love it

[@nailinthefashion]

Inferno was ssssooooo tame in comparison... very chill and cute.

[@Slm99]

@@nailinthefashion true, but still messy.

[@nailinthefashion]

@@Slm99 I'd literally fight for any of the men who chose Ji-A so it even has ripple effects! Love that

[@Ashak2001]

Ive never heard of singles inferno. Now i have something to watch 🤭

[@Margatatials]

so Colby doesn't want to waste Alexis' time, but he is perfectly fine wasting his own time trying to "save" women by convincing women to have kids that don't want them.

[@TehMomo_]

WHILE HE HAS NO MONEY

[@elleofhearts8471]

its not a waste of time when browbeating, wasting her time, and making her life miserable was his goal from the start. I dont believe he was ever serious about alexis outside seriously enjoying breaking her will and spirit

[@undercoverfangirl5491]

She never said she didn’t want kids. She said she wasn’t sure about kids in her current relationship because Nate was rarely there and she didn’t want to raise kids alone.

[@jewels3846]

​@@undercoverfangirl5491 I have fertility issues (not infertile but low fertility) but also dont want kids (the concidence just worked out that my hormones hate me 😂) I will just say i dont want them because that is the main reason. But holy fuck I have enjoyed a few horrified faces if they were assholish enough to keep pressing and i drop my fertility issues in there Maybe they will think twice before maybe harrassing someone who does want a kid but cant for whatever reason, It seems to be a line people understood was bad they crossed, but were too blinded to see it isnt a surprise answer until they hear it.

[@dejausser]

As a fellow woman who doesn't want kids Lauren's situation and how she ended up on the show is my literal nightmare. Kids are one of those relationship goals that you cannot compromise on -no matter what someone is going to end up feeling resentful, or worst case scenario they end up having kids and the poor kids pick up on the fact that one of their parents clearly didn't want them. I had that conversation right at the start when I was still dating because I'm not putting myself through the time, energy, and emotion of a years-long relationship that's ultimately doomed because they want kids and I don't, don't do that to yourself girl.

[@Laurenjoinsyoutube]

The couple swap made no sense to me cuz I was like things got bad in your relationship a few years in not three weeks. Of course it’s gonna be breezy dating a new person lol

[@urbigsisnicky5413]

I really found it off putting when April mentioned that her and Jake never use any kind of birth control after she explained that she has infertility issues. Like how can you not be ready for marriage but ready to risk to be tied together forever when she accidentally gets pregnant?? Make it make sense🙄

[@FreyaEinde]

That’s a mixture of false hope and taking advantage that can only end in disaster

[@urbigsisnicky5413]

@@FreyaEinde exactly, no wonder April acts like a “psycho b*tch” if he constantly gives her mixed signals and false hope

[@elleofhearts8471]

some people don't see having a child with someone as being tied to them forever. Being a deadbeat parent hasn't gone out of style yet.

[@initeeko9782]

If she got pregnant it wouldn’t have been an accident. Jake was ready to give April a child, didn’t mean he was gonna stick around to take care of it. I also think April wanted to trap Jake with a baby, cause why else would you still want to get pregnant for someone who has expressed that they don’t want to marry you.

[@aL13711]

How was he gonna complain about her so much and then not pull out??????? He was literally playing with fire

[@cierraslowsdown]

I’m literally only 19 minutes in and was also triggered like a large part of your audience about the “convincing” to have kids. I am childfree by choice and HAAAAAATE when people have this convincing mindset! Y’all out here acting like you’re trying to convince someone to test drive a car or try a new flavor of gelato… it’s a whole ASS HUMAN you’re committing to and if the other person in the partnership doesn’t want that? The relationship is OVER. DON’T try to force anyone into such a big, PERMANENT decision. UGH.

[@LisaFrank39]

👏🏾👏🏾

[@elleofhearts8471]

this deserves more attention. because its the convincing types who destroy families. Not accepting your partner's boundaries and preferences because of your own selfishness and toxic traits/motives are how families get ruined and children get traumatized.

[@toridanielle333]

I was DISGUSTED by all of that talk! And tbh I felt so bad for Lauren but also wanted to shake her because I wanted her to tell these men off! It’s completely inappropriate to try to convince someone, who has clearly stated that they absolutely DO NOT want kids, to have kids! Like the shit is not up for debate lmao it’s so manipulative and gross!

[@insane911g]

You're preaching to the choir!! I'm childfree too and it truly baffles me when people immediately - IMMEDIATELY - start to try and convince me to have kids. It's not like stopping by the store and picking up a limited edition designer bag, it's a whole human being! Like come on people! Stop being delusional about the IDEA of a baby, and focus on the whole picture of being responsible for an entire human being!

[@cierraslowsdown]

@@elleofhearts8471 yes yes YES!! This is not a game!! There’s so many lives those types of people are affecting by being so nonchalant about that type of choice and what they’re trying to get someone else to agree to. Soooo selfish on so many levels like you said!

[@kiera1882]

I'll never get over the fact I thought Love is Blind was about actual blind people falling in love

[@lifeof_clarke]

HELPPP

[@Jennie-hi2ti]

“He’s been here for a week and he already said f*** my original relationship, I’m going to marry April? That’s GHETTO!” Killed me! 😂 😂🤣

[@cam4636]

This is the only way I'd watch this show...that said, I knew, I KNEW the girl who married the toxic guy on the spot would immediately end up pregnant. Everyone's country-fried toxic holiday favorite, "we can save our relationship with a kid!" But I feel for the one girl who didn't want kids but "compromised." There's no diet motherhood, and now the guy knows he can wear you down if he pressures you hard enough. Bad situation. Of course, it's reality tv, so who's to say it's real. But still.

[@elleofhearts8471]

even tho tho, it's still a bad example to set. That's a toxic behavior thats being upheld rather than pushed back against on the show and its a behavior that needs to die

[@NummyNuttyNumNuts]

Convincing (aka manipulating) someone who is dead set on not having children to "settling" for just one child is not the win people like Nate think it is. That's just gonna be a future rift/trauma experience for that child because they're gonna be unwanted by one of their parents. Friction incoming.

[@FreyaEinde]

This goes on the list of things that are painfully obvious to anybody over 30 but you literally can’t tell anybody younger in a shit relationship because they’ll turn on you.

[@elleofhearts8471]

and at that point there needs to be a realization that they're not consenting to having children when they need to be badgered and manipulated into agreeing. Thats not consent at all. If this was about a sexual issue it would be easier to see this is not consent but because its a not a sexual matter its not being readily recognized as that. This is a boundary and consent issue that I hope gets easier to recognize in time.

[@stoppit9]

Obviously it's incredibly wrong to force someone to have a child...but I've met many parents who were initially dead set against it but ended up loving the kids. NO ONE SHOULD DO THAT but the kids aren't inevitably traumatized

[@FreyaEinde]

@@stoppit9 The exception is not the rule! For the people in the back the exception is not the rule!

[@Toxihex]

@@FreyaEinde Lmao as if. Getting older does generally do a pretty reliable job of making you wiser than you were before it happened, but you can't expect people to just, turn 30 and realize all these things. Most of them stay oblivious, delusional and unwilling to own up to their mistakes well into their 80's and die without ever recognizing how much they fucked up. How you shouldn't have kids unless you really, really want to and are ready to has been just as painfully obvious to me since my teens, and such is the case with quite a few of the people I know, all under 30. Stupid people are stupid, naive people are naive, you can just try to work with them towards softening the blow this has on their lives, but they can't improve it that much. Everyone has their own pace, some aren't even equipped to start crawling.

[@bheatz22]

People seem terminally incapable of being single. The amount of people I know who should just break up but won't, is staggering.

[@Heyflaviaahey]

April, a 22 y/o: "I want a baby rn bc I've got fertility issues" girl use the coin you've got from the show and freeze your eggs? like that's an actual thing that people do to have children later in life and avoid fertility problems. Don't rush into marriage, which you're clearly not mentally and emotionally ready for, just to have babies with that person.

[@SilentTrip]

You really glossed over Rae and Jake's awful behavior, when she punched Zay and her family disrespecting him talking over him while he was crying. The golden box? Jake lying to Rae about his mother liking April more... Her in the reunion screaming over Zay not letting him talk all because he exposed her shady ways

[@bouncyclouds276]

totally agreed. what's the golden box again ?

[@jadejennings806]

Rae hit Zay in the shoulder after he grabbed her and physically wouldn’t let her leave the apartment. You can’t restrain people.

[@mookieluvsyu]

@@jadejennings806 she said she hit him after he walked through the door late

[@madisonlogan2885]

YASSSSSSSS

[@vanessa_lmao8219]

@@jadejennings806 yet you can punch them if they do?

[@Carl-_-Jones]

The fact that non of these streaming companies haven’t sponsored you yet is a hate crime

[@Noelitall]

@@Ivuxoxo relax...like seriously

[@Ivuxoxo]

@@Noelitall it’s a dumb joke that’s all I’m saying.. even if it didn’t have the weight it has it’s still overused

[@michaelio6548]

@@Ivuxoxo is it because I'm black

[@vyabillie4415]

@@Ivuxoxo you don't give people enough credit. We know when words are being used as a joke and when they are not.

[@insertusername3417]

​@@vyabillie4415 sometimes, no not really lol. edit: also, hope nobody else engages in this convo. shit like this is exhausting tbh

[@hollyhughes5294]

I couldn't quite pinpoint what was off about Colby... but then a friend of mine said that he gave her "Joe from YOU" vibes. Now I cannot unsee it, and I am genuinely gutted about Madelyn choosing him in the end

[@jellyrcw12]

What bothered the most about this show is how all of them are in their 20s. This show would make way more sense if the couple were all in the 30s and 40s, that's truly the now or never of having children for most people.

[@_bebeboudeur_]

exactly !

[@JackedThor-so]

I don't know if it's because I'm a gay man with a low sex drive or what, but I always have a difficult time with datibg reality shows like this. I have SUCH low patience for tamaltuous relationships - and I feel like the minority there sometimes. I was the "ah, a gay guy, let's traumadump all of the bad things happening in my relationships!" Person, and it genuinely shocked me that girls would cling to my shoulder and boo hoo me about their relationship yet get genuinely pissed when I told them that they should break up - regardless of how dysfunctional the relationship was. I would have someone tell me "I don't know if we should even be together," and 5 minutes later blow up at me for telling them to break up - which they had JUST said they were tempted to do. Obviously, this show is played up in editing - all reality shows are (I know nothing about the show runners, apparently they're VERY shitty people?) But the drama still gets under my skin. I'm very much a vanilla person who simply wants a partner who loves me I conditionally and vise versa, and who is willing to communicate with me and listen to me when I communicate. I have never understood people who want to be with tamaltuous partners nor how anyone could find it entertaining (absolutely NO shade to Kennie - girl has her head on straight; I just don't vibe with it personally). I'm always the one in the corner like, "can't we just talk to one another and get along? Is all of this REALLY nessessary?" 😂

[@Baer99Z]

Dude I'm 100% the same, I mean if a couple just wants a bit of a dramatic relationship I guess It's fine (unless they drag others into it) but so many couples are obviously together since they're just too afraid to break up, like of course it isn't fun to break up but sometimes relationships just don't work out, we seriously gotta normalize breaking up more (with platonic relationships too even). Tbf though, I've never dated anyone in my life so I can't act like I'm an expert, I've just witnessed way too many people dragging out relationships that were not a great fit in the first place.

[@lkf8799]

Some people are definitely addicted to drama. They put up with terrible lows to get the sweet sweet highs. Total disfunction, but studies show those attachments last more than all bad and all good relationships 😳 da fuk? Not saying they are happy on the roller coaster, but they last until the breaking point. I think some people think love is what they saw with their parents or on T.V. and both of those can be unrealistic and/or a hot mess when applied to the wrong partner. I don't think people are given the right tools at an early age so a lot of mistakes are made, not to mention people caught in cycles of abuse/trauma 😔

[@elleofhearts8471]

^thats not saying much. I'm sure abusive relationships last longer than healthy ones do but thats not because abuse is welcomed and enjoyed necessarily. Some people are just addicted to trauma and toxic relationships are the end result of that. Not necessarily the beginning and end.

[@lkf8799]

@@elleofhearts8471 Sorry, I worded it wrong. It's not abusive relationships last longer than healthy ones at all! The study said uncertain attachments make people stay longer in *BAD relationships*. If couples are incompatible in a relationship where most interactions are majority negative or majority positive people get fed up / bored vs. the drama of up and down that tricks them into staying.

[@Snow-xd4rv]

What does your sex drive have to do with talking about this show? That was weird to bring up

[@BryonyClaire]

This show was so stressful to watch, the lack of psychological help available was so so damaging to see. I hope that all the contestants are okay after this, even the trash ones, but 100% none of them should have been in these relationships anyway

[@shoelace.16]

Also what you said about Colby liking the manipulation was so spot on- I think he liked Lauren because he felt like “I can give her what she’s not getting from her partner and that means she won’t leave me” and especially since he seems to like to trap his women 😬

[@rachels.4159]

Madlyns pure and obvious hatred for Colby was one of the funniest things on the show to me

[@hardworkingcriminal4873]

Kennie J.D. honestly gets better year by year day by day...I'm glad to be a home skillet biscuit

[@tovax3872]

samee, she always delivers 10/10 content

[@Gnomereginam]

The hardworking criminal home skillet biscuit... That's just beautiful

[@Lmab-qs1kr]

DAMN RIGHT

[@persephone750]

The 2000s "Stepford Wives" started out the movie presenting a reality show called "I Can Do Better!" that followed a similar premise. We all laughed at the absurdity. And now here we are.

[@littlerelief]

Kennie's spiel about Colby's toxicity just broke down why two of my incredibly toxic exes dated me in the first place, something I've never understood because they were so cruel in their attempts to make me what they actually wanted instead of accepting me as myself. Holy crap. I came for the trash tv and stayed for the epiphanies about my horrid romantic history!!

[@larabarth7856]

The great issue that I have with this show is that people don’t understand that a relationship changes a lot the longer you are together. Meeting a new person and living together with that person can’t ever compare to a 2 year relationship. Of course they listen more and pf course you have more to talk about because its a new relationship. It will always be more exciting than a 2 year relationship

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

Honestly, Rae and Jake always gave me that friend vibe. Like he checked all her boxes but that extra bit that pushes you from just friends to animal attraction just wasn't there. I do think being dragged on the show against his will was the straw that broke the camel's back with Jake and that his relationship was doomed already (as was Rae's). I felt like they were two people looking for an out that found comfort in each other, but not those extra sparks.

[@ajheartsong]

I think Jake would’ve gone farther with Rae but his mom didn’t like her… And maybe Zay was really good in bed? 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@shawndraj4600]

I'm wondering what did they do with the toys in the box april found? 🤔 I feel jake and Rae definitely would have done something if they hadn't already.

[@katythebeauty330]

Yea I got brother and sister vibes from them too. Like they were nice to each other and related to some things but it wasn’t enough for them to be in a relationship.

[@graceojo8215]

EXACTLY!

[@eyeanderson6411]

Like 20 years ago Nicole Kidman did a movie called Stepford Wives. Her character was a television producer and she produced reality tv specifically. She made up two different television show ideas and one of them was the exact plot of The Ultimatum. 😁 The Lachey's took the show from Stepford Wives and made it real.

[@JaneDoe_123]

Hey, fun fact for those that don't know: That movie with Kidman is a more comedic adaptation of a book with the same same - Stepford Wives - by Ira Lewin, the same author behind Rosemary's Baby. There's also a more loyal adaptation, at least in tone - it follows the unsettling and tense, and then straight up existencial horror -, with the same name, from the 70s, I think. 70s or 60s.

[@celinahatton2653]

Have you seen the 1975 version? It makes the 2004 one look like cinema gold.

[@christopherbrown5409]

@@JaneDoe_123 novel, 1972; film, 1975; remake, 2004

[@JaneDoe_123]

@@christopherbrown5409 Nice, thank you!

[@christopherbrown5409]

@@JaneDoe_123 YW

[@AG-cz7bs]

Colby totally gaslighted me, I loved him in the beginning LOL.

[@estherbalogun8092]

Fr 😭

[@pencilwisdom6161]

You mean he fooled you? Gaslighting is incorrect in this sentence.

[@maymunaaden3897]

Same

[@smwatertasteslikewater]

Ugh

[@michellemulenga3053]

Petition to have “Reality Tv and a Rant”🖐

[@dannielleangelic]

My biggest issue with Jake and Rae has nothing to do with the connection they obviously have, but how passive aggressive they are in their original partners. While Zay and April’s energies obviously overwhelm them, particularly in moments of conflict, both Jake and Rae had opportunities to address issues in the moment, but instead chose to avoid it, and then go bitch about to each other, or everyone else, but the actual person they needed to talk to. 100% it’s a reflection of immaturity, but it is also a reflection of what I consider a toxic character trait for someone in a relationship. And after seeing that reunion show … lord I wanted to slap them upside the back of the head. Also, the interfering Mamas seemed to help enable the problems. I could probably write a book about Madlyn and Colby, but that would make my blood pressure spike, so not gonna do that to myself today.

[@mookieluvsyu]

Yup, they’re both emotional cowards. And I was *so* surprised that Madlyn nor Colby got any smoke at that reunion. That baby saved them from confronting anything!

[@SlavaZone]

As someone who was raised by parents that could NEVER be wrong, and could NOT take emotional feedback... I get not addressing problems head on. Because the other person may seem receptive, but it's a trap. They want more reason to scream and break you down and gaslight you and make it your fault somehow. With how dramatic April was, and loud, and talked over him, I could see that true for them. Freezing when confronted is a trauma response, NOT emotional immaturity. 😢 Of course, it's frustrating, and not fair, and hurtful. So you just shut down at the time, and then vent about it later. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@dannielleangelic]

@@SlavaZone We’ll have to agree to disagree. While I don’t know anything about any of them other then the edit they were given, they were all too immature to deal with a committed relationship with a pet rock, let alone a legally binding one with a human being. TBH I don’t think either Rae or Jake were ever that serious about each other, more so it seemed that they thought they could use their connection as an excuse to leave their partners within the grounds of the “experiment”. Based on the reunion I would concede Rae probably has some identity and sexuality issues that interfere with her ability to form a deeper bond with whatever partner she is with. After seeing his interactions with his mom Jake seems to be more of a passive partner and a people pleaser with the women in his life. April’s urgent desire for a family gives the impression she is trying to make up for something she missed out on with her own family, on top of her medical issues. As for Zay, he needs therapy. Unfortunately in our society black men tend to face more obstacles on that path because of the compounded generational stigmas of asking for help of the emotional variety. My point is everyone has trauma to a degree, but that doesn’t negate immaturity. Not everything is a trap. Sometimes people just need to own their shit, admit their mistakes, and be done with it. It can take a lot growth and maturity to get to that point, but until they do they will continue to run the same cycle.

[@mypride_andjoy2269]

@@SlavaZone my thing is April took the whole experience serious and when they got back together she tried to talk to Jake about the problem he was coming towards her about and he just did not give her the chance to do so he would talk over her and mention how he liked Rae better and putting the bad things on there relationship off on April. Which to me he was being straight up mean towards her when she's trying to make it work. And Rae....she was annoying to me when she got back with Zae because instead of speaking she actually gives reason why he would get mad with her by just sitting there and not saying nothing. It was hard to watch her honestly. But I felt like she's just those types to not speak at all about her emotions.

[@xxxmochibaby]

Totally agree on all fronts lol

[@Hananloveslilac]

Am i the only one who thinks Rae is toxic? Because at the beginning when she said she gave the ultimatum and why Zay should merry her, the team asked her what she loves about Zay and her whole face changed 💀 she couldn’t even say she loves him but was pressing him about marriage?

[@nicolewalsh6214]

And punched Zay! Dead on.

[@missmuyoyo]

Yeah she’s toxic af. The scene where her and her family ganged up on him solidified that for me.

[@cybeshi]

She's not toxic, she didn't know what she wants. Stop throwing around that word dammit. Toxic is not a personality trait. And someone **acts** toxic, don't say they **are** toxic. Otherwise you're just stigmatizing someone.

[@missmuyoyo]

@@cybeshi so Rae acts toxic, and Rae and Zay were toxic for each other. Rae has toxic behavior in regards to that relationship. She’s not toxic because she didn’t know what she wants but because of how she went about it. Most if not all of us have no idea what we want. And most if not all of us can be toxic.

[@cybeshi]

@@missmuyoyo No protests to this wording.

[@wompwomp9946]

Colby is exactly my ex boyfriend who still tries to get with me even though there's no love there. No matter how much I explain to him he just doesn't get it. He'll preach about love but cheats. He says he respects me but violates boundaries, then says it's for ME. He never internalizes new information. It's infuriating and exhausting, and everyone thinks it's romantic, I'm so tired lol

[@heyheyheywhat5216]

Kennie could talk about trigonometry and I still would be wildy entertained.

[@thesalahchannel8984]

I agreed with everything you said. The only thing that I think is debatable is Jake's attitude toward April. In my opinion I felt like he wanted to be out of that relationship a long time ago because he literally forgot about her as soon as he got with Rae. He kinda gave me the vibe that this whole experience was his escape even though he was forced on the show. I didn't dislike him I just thought he didn't really show any desire or love for April once the switch first happened compared to everyone else on the show. I was so excited to see your commentary on this show! This video was great!

[@cyberizd]

yes!! he was definitely checked out of the relationship before even being on the show, which is always horrible to have one person not as invested in the relationship when you obviously only want to be with them. it’s a definite sign that things needed to be over between the two despite it being hurtful for April.

[@uniquekamelvin1082]

I just thought Jake was acting like a baby about it. He was so defensive on everything because he knew he wasn't invested. I also think he is butt hurt that April is happy. Sitting there at the reunion with those horrid braids.

[@gabiluch87]

The weirdest thing about them is that Jake said, in an interview, that he was gonna take April on a cruise and propose to her, but then she dragged him into the show and he had to cancel the trip coz it was at the same time.... A normal human would've been "April, no need for this shit reality show, I was gonna propose on our trip, here's the ring.." Soooo Im very confused

[@stink..]

Honestly, I got the same vibe from madlyn. She went with Randall so fast. Surprised me that she chose Colby in the end

[@jemiialii]

I didn’t like the fact he lied to April at the end about not getting with Rae. That’s what made me hate him. Other than that, I felt bad for him and just wished he voiced out to April that he didn’t want to be with her anymore so they didn’t waste each other’s time.

[@coco604]

Shanique demanding to know all of Madelyn’s flaws bc she was insecure..dude. I felt really bad for Randall in that situation, bc Shanique seems to have a toxic combo of deep insecurities and immaturity, so her feelings completely overtake her rational thought. So her first instincts of “oh my god, my bf didn’t have an overall awful time away from me” turn into “he likes Madelyn more than me”, instead of stopping at “well, I bought him on this show and this is the point of the show”

[@coolcatbad4508]

Randall seemed pretty trash as well trying to be intimate with Madelyn off camera. He seemed disingenuous to me

[@christianaayodele]

I was so embarrassed on her behalf, I hated to see that for her because she's such a beautiful girl

[@Tam974eva]

@@coolcatbad4508 I agree. A few people were using this experiment as a test to see if their partners would be faithful and realize how much they want to fight for their partners--at least that was the premise that the Lachey's gave. And if it was a test, Randall epically failed. lol. He could've used the show to display his self control, but he used it rather to get a cheat free pass. Then again, u can't expect a hetero man and woman to be closed in a room for 3 weeks and not be intimate, so Shanique had to lick her wounds. Therapy and breaks help more than a show like this--it was not wholesome. For someone traditional like Shanique, there would've been better options & she definitely should've communicated boundaries with Randall in the beginning. That said, Randall should've been more compassionate towards her--he himself felt jealous in the reunion. We're humans--bound to get attached. All this hookup culture and ultimatum ish aint gonna work.

[@Incognition37]

@@christianaayodele ok lol what does beauty have anything to do with it

[@floofdaddy2966]

I don't want kids and always say so but my mother/family always force the idea on me. Everyone always tells me "Ill change my mind later" or my mother will guilt trip me by saying "but I want grandchildren" and will even go so far as denying any possibility her children could be gay, etc. just for that reason alone. Not to mention she constantly asks if I'm pregnant in a condescending way if I put on the slightest bit of weight or complain about stomach pains, bloating, etc. Like if you're so worried about me, or my siblings getting pregnant, why not teach us about protection?!

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

Girl, you're Childfree! Look up our groups on Facebook or reddit.

[@daydream5120]

My mother is the same and I’m like “girl, the only grandchildren you’re getting are cats”

[@ah_ma_cherie]

Your impressions of Madelyn KILL ME it’s so freakin accurate 😂😂

[@gotamekanicole]

When I saw that Madlyn was pregnant, something really messy in me wondered if there was a possibility that the baby was Randall's.

[@thatgirl_nay7049]

👀👀👀

[@nailinthefashion]

I wasn't hoping for it bc I genuinely think Shanique is just stubborn enough to balance Randy out but did I think it would make for great cinema? Mayhaps....

[@Ashak2001]

Someone call maury

[@jeremyd5850]

She must have got pregnant right before taping or during taping with Colby. She found out she was pregnant and was like fuck it I might as well marry him.

[@chibee4l]

@@jeremyd5850 I one hundred percent believe this is what happened and Colby got married quickly so Madlyn's friends and family didn't talk her out of it.

[@gracienryan131]

My mama always said never trust a man who's name sounds like they're a lead in an 80's soap opera, a food, or an animal. Colby didn't disappoint.

[@_bebeboudeur_]

I was wondering where I heard that name before and, Dynasty !

[@neda2377]

One thing I thought was interesting about Colby is what Madlyns mom said that when she first met him he was the sweetest and kind of love bombed her too and the next times that she saw him he barely talked to her

[@dabachinno1425]

the thing with Zay’s trauma is that like…yea he keeps talking about his past and how it shaped him and conditioned him. and he never had someone to tell him what is right and wrong and i think he understands that. but he wants to change and in order to do that i think he does want feedback? where someone can tell him what is right and wrong i mean idk if he should be looking for his girlfriend to do that 🤡 but it is smth he needs. and i think that’s why he’s always talking about wanting Rae to open to him. because he may not see some things as common sense and if that’s something that would upset her, he wants to know, but instead he just keeps getting shut out and doing the wrong things cuz Rae can’t tell him what’s good and what’s bad (not that she needs to, she doesn’t need to carry that responsibility but if its something that’s causing a rift between you and your partner, idk if y’all should be together unless you can somehow get what you both want outside of placing the responsibility on each other.)

[@zorro......]

omg under 10min in and kennies alrdy pointing out how people who havent processed their childhood shit will have a really hard time being a healthy partner and having a healthy relationship because theyll be reacting instead of responding to situations and she is RIGHT.

[@TriggerBud]

“Reacting instead of responding”… I need to think of this more. That was probably the best way I’ve ever heard that put lmao. Thank you!

[@zorro......]

@@TriggerBud all good! this is honestly something i had to learn to identify for myself + learnt more about as i studied psychology and it does help me out a lot to notice when i was reacting instead of responding 🥰

[@TriggerBud]

@@zorro...... I’ve been practicing this over the past few weeks (I’ve forgotten a few times, but I have actually caught myself a couple of times as well!), and I’ve got to say it’s actually helped a lot, when I can remember it lmao. Every time I’ve caught myself reacting instead of responding I’ve taken a deep breath and gone over the situation again in my head before responding. By the time I respond I’m a lot calmer and usually able to see the situation from another light. Thank you so much! This was the therapy I needed and could afford 🤣

[@kelviannaepperson3677]

That time when Colby and Madlyn were with her friends, I thought that they were gonna break up. And I would've been happy for her. When they immediately got married and then were pregnant I felt like he trapped her.

[@imanijohnson4378]

Zay - when he get some therapy he’ll be a good partner in my opinion Rae - annoying as shit. Her parent have enabled her behavior Alexis - annoying & money hungry Hunter - 💤 Madelyn - insane Colby - insane Jake - a liar April - she just needs some growing to do. She’s still a child for gods sake Shanique - gorgeous but too bossy Randall - 💅🏾 I’m sorry Lauren - 💤 Nate - insecure

[@Mariam-fe3jo]

Agree with all of this!! except maybe the Randall one but who knows honestly😭

[@goldenglowable]

Lol poor Hunter 🤣💤

[@monSoun121]

i felt the same way about randall💀

[@jayzt705]

Omg agreeeeee 100% Nate also seemed entitled and easily insulted/attacked in addition to insecure. Bad vibes

[@kristian5489]

u automatically assume a black man who isn’t hyper masculine is gay

[@agudiosque]

Men will literally go to The Ultimatum instead of going to therapy

[@christopherbrown5409]

Females will literally suggest going on The Ultimatum instead of leaving or simply picking better

[@thatrantinggirl7376]

@@christopherbrown5409 bro just say women

[@christopherbrown5409]

@@thatrantinggirl7376 why? I'm not here to respect people who shit on men.

[@NoName-dx1no]

Are most men even into dating shows though? I would imagine that it’s the men who are already messy and wanted some tv spotlight would want to be on three show, same for women tbh no sane person would go unless it’s for the lols

[@nishitakunder9211]

@@NoName-dx1no yes a relationship could never withstand this bs show's premise. I feel so weird that all of them went thru this much pain and anxiety just to reinstate that whatever negative feelings they had about their partners were true.

[@jayeestelle9028]

My least favorite character was Jake. I don't think Jake knows who he is or what he wants and he seems to avoid telling people the truth partially out of fear that it may hurt them and partially so he can wash his hands of the responsibility when they find out another way which could hurt them more in the end. Instead if being honest with April about having feelings for rae when they got back together he started a fight for basically no reason. Then why he lie to rae about his mom liking her. This on TV she gone see it man lol. Then lying to April about running away with rae. I do kinda think that whole trip thing was fake. Also you don't wanna get married but your shooting up the club every night? That's just reckless. Lastly I don't trust Marines 😬😬

[@kat_the_mouse]

Every time I watch/rewatch these, I'm so overwhelmed with relief that I'm aromantic. XD

[@jassminereil8487]

SAME OMG

[@spinxxo]

But if Rae and Jake never got physical what the heck was up with that gold box?! 👀👀👀👀

[@hamdialihassan1586]

I think April was my favorite because of her immaturity and innocence, it just made me want to mother her so bad and all I wanted was to see her happy. She was so crazy and blindly in love with Jake though that she couldn’t see what was obvious to anyone else. He just wasn’t that into her. The speed with which he allowed himself to fall for someone else after 2 years with April was just very telling of him as a man and even though I have no evidence I feel like he has probably stepped out before at some point. He really annoyed me because it was so obvious that he was opposed to marriage NOT because of any financial reason, it was just her. He just did not want to marry her and he should’ve just said so but he was kinda narcissistic and was loving the undying obssesion and devotion she was showing him. Ugh I just can’t stand him. I’m so glad she found love elsewhere and seems to be doing well. If I were her I would never wanna see him again, all he does is lie.

[@ajheartsong]

April seems like she’d be fun to have as a friend but a nightmare to be in a relationship with lol

[@hamdialihassan1586]

@@ajheartsong Idk 🤷🏾‍♀️ about that, I feel like the right man would appreciate her enthusiasm and personality

[@ajheartsong]

@@hamdialihassan1586 i don’t know any men (except maybe religious ones) who are ready to get locked down at 23 lol

[@hamdialihassan1586]

@@ajheartsong well u might be on to something, my younger sister and her husband got married at 22 and we’re devoted muslims

[@PrettyPinkPeacock]

@@ajheartsong april was 23 he was 26

[@lowkeythemself]

i saw a theory a while back, i don't remember whose it was, but they said something like "i feel like Colby and Madlyn(?) were already set to get married and just decided to go on the show and be messy for the entertainment and fame" and honestly yeah, like it makes a lot of sense to me

[@heiressananiah8788]

So glad to know I wasn’t the only one side-eyeing Colby and his “nice guy” and “wet blanket” for women vibes. Madelyn also grossed me out with her friends as they just fetishized Randall. He annoyed me too because he did not seem to see that and kept uplifting Madelyn when she wasn’t that great. And how was she 7 months pregnant at the 6 months later reunion? I needed answers from the Lacheys, because what on the shot-gun wedding earth??? Then, people like April scare me because if you just aspire to be married, do you attribute your worth to being a wife and mother??? Jake also needed to stop trying to remind us he’s 25% Black. It was giving me very bad vibes. And did anybody notice how similar his mom looked to Rae (the hair) and how similar April acted to his mom who was trying to make him stay with a girl he ain’t want???? Weird. Next, I believe Zay was a serial cheater because of how he kept lying and how he was talking to Shanique the first week of the show while Rae was only a few feet away. Additionally, Lauren deserves better than Nate, for real. He gave me the ick telling everybody he could see himself with them. Lastly, I wish we could have seen more of Alexis’s growth about wanting a man with more money. She was all up in everybody else’s business but like sis…you just settling for that dry man or what??? My point… Netflix, I’m going to need a reunion part 2 with a host that’s going to READ these people, a therapist STAT!

[@lisah3460]

Biracial people do tend to prove their blackness all the time.

[@wowzaism]

“Jake also needed to stop trying to remind us he’s 25% Black.” 😂😂😂

[@salamander8301]

Yes Madalyn was yucky. The way she was looking at Randal literally salivating at the mouth icked me out. Like she was annoying with her bad hair and her toxic chill girl attitude. I'm so glad Randall rejected her.

[@chandlersampson]

I got extremely triggered watching Zay/Rae at times. I was always expecting their arguments to turn violent. (And she did hit him which the show just glossed over)

[@ms.marvelous8156]

Can I suggest Sexy Beast if you’re making this a series? Basically, it’s a dating show but the contestants are all wearing make up and costuming prosthetics that make them look like animals. Definitely a ‘hear me out’ concept.

[@asmileisspecial]

whoa that sounds wild! dating in the dark would be another good one, it's basically the original love is blind.

[@NellyLikesPirates]

i looked up an article about the past couples from sexy beasts and literally none of them ever saw each other again! it was all for the show, which kills it for me

[@ms.marvelous8156]

@@NellyLikesPirates that kind of makes sense given how extra some of the contestants act on the show.

[@Ginn823]

Got married at 19 to my ex and child's father was married 10 years for it to just end up in divorce. Best advice I can give is don't get married young especially when you're still "growing up" cause it hardly ever works out in the long run..sadly!

[@cpkgrownup9496]

Granted I was single throughout my 20’s (due to my struggles with depression and anxiety) so by time I got it together enough to have my first adult relationship, I couldn’t imagine getting engaged or married after only a year or two of being together.

[@casey012]

same. I agree with everything you said, I struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my 20's and it really affected my dating life, so it is nice to read someone who was the same!

[@Kayla-ly8rm]

The Alexis/Colby situation was so damn awkward and hilarious 😂😂

[@maryy.angell]

people will constantly say and tell you “better find a partner before it to late” “you don’t want to die alone don’t you” “not having children is kinda of selfish” “you won’t be young forever you know” and it sometimes made me question my life choices BUT THEN… shows as this one validate my strong push to never getting married or having children… I’ll die alone if have to thank you

[@waverlyearp34]

Right? Being alone is the best tbh