My Life With Anxiety: How Weight Loss Helped (But Wasn’t Enough)

[@KrocksInTheKitchen]

I've been promising a video on my anxiety... and I am excited (and a bit anxious) that it's finally here. Just to give you a bit of insight as to where my brain has been at lately, check out this post on our Facebook page: bit.ly/KrocksAnxietyFB

[@pmjwjbcpfo]

Real. Honest. Helpful. Lovely. Thanks.

[@yogiyoda]

Thanks for sharing your story. Have experienced similar anxiety. Please stay honest and keep us posted on your journey ...good and bad.

[@starbux1981]

My anxiety is super bad some days, but near non-existent most days, and I really wish I had heard this so long ago. The current situation going on right now has me more hyper anxious and I find myself feeling surrounded by darkness and Im fighting inside my head nearly 24/7 If my insurance covered Therapy I really think I would go for it...but I already know it does not. unfortunately...Super good video Jessica, proud of youuuu

[@nayaab7356]

I also had very bad anxiety self cirticism and much more. I personally have also used whole foods plant based (im also vegan for animals) to loose weight. I used to weight 95kg now I am down to around 61kg. My reccommendation for you would be please try out a few days a week of meditation and breakthwork. It is really good for stabilising the nervous system and has improved my anxiety a lot. There are some very good guided meditations online that you could try out. I do sadhgurus meditations on youtube. Also check out Marissa Peers shes a very famous therapist who is also on youtube offering a lott of great advice and techniques to help diminish the anxiety or depression. These are tips and methods for life to increase the positive vibes even more and they 100 percent have worked for me after a long long time of anxiety and severe depression. P.S. loving the background vibe!

[@michaelajoseph6856]

Thank you so much! Honest and very helpful!

[@1994abbygirl]

I am nearly 68 and listening to you was like a mirror of my life. I have never fit in but I have learned to persevere, one day at a time. Stay strong, your an inspiration! Blessings!

[@mtkids3558]

ME TOO, SAME AGE 68, HAVE FOUGHT MYSELF FOR MY WHOLE LIFE , SO DEFEATING IN MY LIFE.

[@sl4983]

How do you both stay fit?

[@robiny1823]

Jessica, you have no idea how much I admire you right now. You’re a remarkable young woman, and you may never know just how many people you’ve helped, but be assured that you have.

[@Carcarfranklin]

14 mins in- just do a krock on the couch every now and then. 🥰

[@PiperNana]

I'm a little over 12 minutes in and I'm thinking, " she sure sounds a lot like me". Painfully shy, never felt I fit in, socially awkward, perfectionist, etc. But, you explain it better.

[@emilynavarro4182]

When Brian looks at you his eyes light up. He truly loves you and it shows. I understand the need for perfection. I am a virgo. Everything has to be just right. Don't be so hard on yourself. Lots of people love you and look forward to seeing you whenever you upload new videos.

[@janhankins911]

I said once before and I'll say it again. I hope my husband looks at me the way Brian looks at Jessica. That's love.

[@renaeselix5648]

At almost 60 , I appreciate your honesty. I have suffered all my life with this. I did quit drinking all alcohol a year ago and this has helped but it’s an on going process. Also being on a plant based diet for 2 years has also helped. Still struggle a lot at times. Was nice to know I’m not alone . Thank you

[@lynncirillo6674]

I have suffered from depression almost my entire life. I had some of the exact issues you have described. I am also on meds, but mine are more for my depression than anxiety. I was the same as you when I was young, Jessica. My mom had to cash my paychecks for me because I was too timid to go into a bank, She even had to make some of my telephone calls because I hated talking to stgrangers. I am now almost 65, and I am the exact opposite of what I was when I was young. I also have someone that I talk to every week. It really does help to sort of "unload" some of what is in my brain every week. I just want to thank you for making this video. It took guts, and I have not seen anyone tackle it quite as well as you did. I also want to tell you that you and Brian are my favorite people on KZbin. Your honesty, and the way you two mesh is honestly refreshing. I look forward to your videos every week!!

[@lisakinftworth]

What a lovely person you are! I love your honesty. I'll be praying for you to understand just how valuable you are - just because God made you.

[@mamakins5123]

Thank you for helping to break down the stigma of mental health and putting yourself out there. Hoping your message guides individuals to seek out the help they may need and also being mindful of their own children’s mental health needs, especially in this difficult time of coronavirus. If this episode helps just one person you’ve done a great thing.

[@Deb_BG]

Weak? You are a superhero. Raw honesty takes courage and strength. Thank you. I'm in a difficult life situation and probably should talk to a professional. I'm resisting, but you have me thinking maybe...Maybe.

[@gwenbrowne9900]

I never thought I'd be on an SSRI, but a medical/hormonal crisis 10 yrs ago, along with not sleeping, not eating, run down, etc. had made me very depressed. I was against any meds at first, but I finally gave in, and it was the best decision to go on meds. I'm over the crisis, but am still taking an SSRI. I realized I didn't want to go back to feeling like I was, even before the crisis. So, don't be afraid to continue on the meds if they're working for you. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

[@telepathicbutterfly8855]

This was one of the best videos I’ve ever seen and I don’t say that lightly 💗 I cried through most of it but I feel a sense of relief that your experiences with anxiety are so similar to mine. I felt like I’d conquered my anxiety and felt decent for a long spell but the last few years it’s piled on top of me worse than it ever had. I have that exact same looping mind and my boyfriend thinks I’m quite morbid because I always fear his death and it’s the same thing you describe! I go through the same process of feeling okay with him dying, otherwise the thoughts won’t go away for hours. I won’t blab on but I related to everything you said ! You have opened me up to the idea of accepting outside help so thank you very much,, cutie ❤️

[@potridge]

You and my 32 year old son share the same story. When you said you went somewhere else to eat lunch because you didn’t know where you would fit in, it made me cry. My son used to sit in the hall and eat lunch because of his anxiety. Unfortunately, he doesn’t think anything can help him and is not very active in his self help. If I can get my nerve up, I will show it to him. Thank you for this video!

[@gsantini8518]

Thank you, thank you brave soul. WOW, 1st hubby didn't understand so added to my anxiety by making me think I was the only strange one. Luckily 2nd hubby of 22yrs now just loves me and thinks it's cute no matter what I do and is there to hug me when I need it. Anytime you want to share we're listening.👍💖😘

[@dianedraveski6485]

I am sooooooooo proud of you! You are strong, brave and willing to do the work and that’s not easy. It’s not easy being vulnerable but you have helped sooooooo many people now and maybe another venture would be a blog or channel or ebook.....you are verrrrrry insightful and I’m sending you a Michigan hug. Clinical anxiety is real . I love cognitive behavioral therapy. What about anxiety that leads to emotional eating? That’s soooo me. There is a time, a reason and a purpose for all things life experiences are all layers that help us learn and grow. Stay strong and keep searching for your new adventures you have a lot to give kiddo. Hugs, Diane

[@sidilicious11]

I think it’s legit to face fears by thinking of a worse case scenario and seeing that there are ways to cope and get beyond it and even thrive beyond it, I do that too. My mother recommended that to me when I was in high school and it has served me well.

[@smaxwelluicedu]

I like all the comments I could read that were generated from this post. I am crying but feeling very hopeful. Jessica did it. Jessica is sharing it. Jessica is still struggling with it but she is winning.

[@carab6857]

Thank you for having the courage to say how you’ve truly felt, that level of honesty is incredible and I cannot imagine how hard this must have been for you to film. I have felt like an oddball all my life, I’ve never felt like I fit in anywhere and school was crap, for so many reasons. Depression and anxiety are part of my everyday life, so I feel you. Imagining disaster scenarios is something that happens often, especially late at night when I’m supposed not be sleeping.

[@cindikoller6669]

WOW .. story of my life. Painfully shy, anxiously spinning stories, low self esteem, depression, weight gain etc. I tried a medication once and didn't really like it. What really helped me was meditating. Learning how to stop my thoughts .. allowing better thoughts in. Your very brave Jessica! Thank you for sharing.

[@colettechiarello7453]

You are doing a terrific thing by sharing your personal experience. It will help many people and also help to erase the stigma surrounding mental health issues. You are a strong person! 🤗❤️❤️

[@tsc844]

You just look like you feel great! I'm so happy for you, that you've learned so much about yourself recently! Thank you for all you give to your followers!

[@smaxwelluicedu]

I think this is key. Jessica talking about it and getting it out is a gift to us all.

[@romang9629]

I've had anxiety all my life. I know exactly what u mean. It started in my early 20's, I'm now 48. It was REALLY bad in my 20s I couldn't even go to work sometimes. I'm still on metroprolol, been on it forever and has helped me tremendously. And I haven't died yet. LoL I switched to a WFPB Diet and seems like it helps even more. I've made videos, and been having fun! Love you guy's channel! Y'all are SO Awesome! Love you and Brian. God bless yall!!!

[@emilycanfield4702]

In the first breath at the beginning...I was like 😭😭😭 I have struggled with so much anxiety since becoming a mom. Sending lots of love ❤️

[@annfromma8456]

I am 51 years old and have dealing with anxiety most of my life. I am not saying, in any way, shape or form, that you are wrong in how you're dealing with it, please know that. Everyone has to deal with it differently, that is just a truth. For me, I have found different ways to deal because growing up, they dismissed anxiety as a selfishness or a cry for attention. Not the case but it is what it is. Never apologize for seeking help, I am so proud that you did.

[@frugalkitty]

Jessica, thank-you for being so gracious in offering us insight into your experiences. Therapy and medication saved my life. I’ve never understood how some people view it as a sign of weakness - I think it is one of the most courageous things a person can do by facing their fears, admitting their shortcomings, radical acceptance of limitations, and putting in the concerted effort toward self actualization. Wishing you all the best 😊

[@CrystalWilliams-ey7zj]

You hit home with me. So many things you spoke about is exactly how I feel. Especially the Brian example I do the same thing!!☹️ I always think when my husband, kids or even my parents having things happen and how I would cope with it. When my phone rings my heart always skips beats in anxiety of bad news. Thank you so much for sharing!! I am in tears right now so will say no more. Thank you❤️❤️

[@Julieac100]

Jessica, much of what you touched on, applies to me. I have always been anxious. I think it stems from my childhood, having a Mom who was often ill, in and out of the hospital, losing my Dad suddenly at 12, and having a very disfunctional family overall. I always describe myself as a functional anxiety sufferer. I do avoid a lot of situations, to save myself from losing it. Thank you for sharing.

[@smaxwelluicedu]

Oh Jessica, we are from different worlds but we are so alike. I did many of the same things you did and got a great husband yet I still struggle. This video sharing your struggles will impact me and many others. Thank you. Again, you are worth your former weight in gold.

[@susanwerner9961]

Thank you Jessica. I think this could help many people understand anxiety. The thing is, anxiety has a powerful biochemical and genetic component. It shapes our behavior and we believe our behavior is essentially who we are and we label and judge ourselves as good or bad. As a woman who also grew up with significant anxiety and suffered with it for 66 years I have accepted it will Always be with me. Difficult, but it has been the greatest teacher of my life. You have grown in ways others who have not had anxiety ever will. As you noted, it gets more manageable if you face it and work with it. For some it means therapy (highly recommended) and/Or meds. No shame in that, and it can lessen suffering immensely. Blessings to you. Keep on keeping on. Life can be beautiful even with anxiety.

[@nellievance]

It's so important to take te stigma away of mental health issues. Anxiety and depression are both things I've dealt with and my diet change helped a lot but there's times that the hormones make it harder to deal with. Just read Fiber Fueled and Dr. B talks about how fiber helps cure our gut which regulates hormones, which is also where our serotonin is made! Thanks for sharing your healing journey! I too had a period in junior high that I almost missed too much school to go to the next grade. It was horrible.

[@lstrad1]

I love the title of this. Losing weight isn’t enough. I think that statement is a capstone. Many who are over weight think losing weight will solve the problem and when it doesn’t we gain the weight back because that problem makes sense to us. I’m 65 and still battling weight, anxiety, self-criticism. I have accomplished much, am blessed with amazing friends who love me more than I love myself. My daughter loves me and I am blessed in so many ways. It doesn’t make sense as to why I have these feelings. So I’m really glad you are sharing. I’m not even a Whole Foods plant based person. Carbs. kill my system and trigger so much insanity. But I love your “adventure” and I love you and Brian and this channel is just getting better all the time. Because it isn’t about the weight! Love and hugs from your Paleo sister!

[@OkieCam16]

"That problem makes sense to us" - very good point. I know a woman who has struggled with weight her whole life, though I didn't know how much she blamed this one issue for any problems she had. She now has a teen daughter who struggles with weight and when the daughter has any issue she wants to discus with her mom the reply is always "we'll go on a diet together." This has alienated the daughter and also caused her to have such negative emotions about anyone mentioning her weight (including doctors) that I'm afraid she'll compromise her health horribly before being in a good enough mental state to work on that particular issue. They have found her a therapist, but are having trouble affording the visits.

[@lizziedripping71]

You are right. It is me too.

[@Harber67]

You’re awesome, Jessica. There’s nothing braver than showing your vulnerabilities.

[@KCallaAK]

I am nodding allll the way through. Just like my daughter who at 29 is AMAZING and therapy (that her husband finally convinced her to get), with her binge/starve tendencies/type A personality at 25. Love you Jessica. I understand your mama wishing she could have gotten you help early but truly, you have YOUR STORY!! You and my daughter are the BEST!! HUGS Thanks for sharing. I'm sure you will touch many people.

[@temperhollow7716]

I can totally relate except for finding the "love of my life". I recently decided I that don't want to be bitter anymore because it does not serve well. You certainly have made great accomplishments throughout it all and I really appreciate that you illuminated this topic. It is so important.

[@colleenc5008]

You're so brave. You will help a lot of people. I'm so glad you've found some help with your therapist and med. Being WFPB helps too. Thanks for sharing.

[@darlenesouthard4557]

Holy Cow!! Listening to your story was like listening to a biography of me!! I’ve never heard those exact things from anyone else. I was able to make my self throw up on command and even run a fever due to anxiety over school. I never knew anyone else who literally could not order in a restaurant like me. And the walls I have built as an adult are more extensive than the Great Wall of China. And the ridiculous visions of doom of losing someone you love...I never realized that was even a part of it. Thank you for helping me realize that I need some help and it’s okay to say that. I started watching this channel in hopes of eating better and losing weight and end up being helped in a much bigger way!! Thank you thank you thank you!!

[@4aclover]

Jessica, thank you! Sometimes anxiety is not doing anything at all because you're so overwhelmed. It gives me hope to hear your discussions.

[@nana-zn1df]

You are not alone. We all feel some kind of loneliness. Thanks for bring us together to show we are not alone we have support.

[@susanstevens5088]

Wow. This was amazing! You have described many aspects of my life. I struggled at watching you as your discomfort was palpable. My take away from this is that I am not alone! You are not alone. Thank you, Jessica for sharing this part of yourself. It means a lot!

[@rf5464]

Jessica, I’m following your cancer journey and I hope you know that you are so wonderful. You’re inspirational.

[@robertabatty2670]

Jessica,I am so glad that you did this. While I was never shy, I did/do not let people know the real me. I put on my hard shell and let no one in because they would see my weaknesses. I am now 69, took medicine for 20 years and weaned myself off 18 months ago. Still have panic attacks but use walking(5-6miles) a day to keep them at bay. Not against medicine but want to do it alone. Anxiety is a terrible place to be. Keep on working at this, it is a long journey.

[@judeeastman]

Thanks for baring your soul and being vulnerable. I hope this helps someone who is stuck in their own head and fear about therapy and meds being unacceptable. I've been in that place and when I finally reached to point of trying therapy and then meds, I could function more freely. It made it easier to learn strategies that eventually brought me to a place of feeling so mch better and eventually able to come off the meds and no longer going to therapy. Keep being you and being true to yourself.

[@lulamamie8524]

I am totally going to have to come back to this and leave a comment later. You have triggered something in me. No worries 😉 ❤️

[@ruready2learn1]

Jessica, you are officially bulletproof now! Praise God. Brain chemistry cannot be controlled by human exertion. I'm glad you stopped listening to the noise. I have watched you settle into your real Jessica skin over time and it's beautiful. Just like you.. Thank you so much dear (I'm 73).

[@videotapeses]

I love seeing your evolution. You are becoming more you and there's nothing more beautiful or raw than that. I've struggled with anxiety and ptsd and my path has looked different but what counts is that we're doing the work 💜 ACT therapy taught me how to not react to my anxiety, meditation has taught me meta cognition (how to separate my thoughts from myself) and I do a lot of mindfulness stuff like yoga, Journaling, etc. There are so many amazing tools I'm happy that you found relief with therapy and meds! I've started doing online group therapy and it's been really amazing - to know I'm not alone in my journey (mental illness can be so isolating and shameful) I love that you're brave enough to share because it's so helpful even now to know I'm not alone.

[@barrbuff]

I just started meditating too and I’m 64. 95% of brain activity is beyond our conscious awareness so if you learn how to tap into that you can change many things about your life. Just finished “you are the placebo” by Joe Dispenza.

[@lizzzarduh]

Wow where you are with your mental health is where I strive to be with mine..can you share how you found your online group therapy? Is there a website or any resource you can share for that?

[@videotapeses]

lizzzarduh it's through The Angry Therapist called TAT LAB. You can actually email him this weekend for a free trial or just sign up on his website. I really enjoy it

[@kimberlysmith2414]

Thank you for opening up. This is a timely subject for me and it's very helpful to hear your story. As you know, anxiety and depression tend to make you feel isolated, and by sharing your journey, you help show that we are not as alone as we think. Keep rocking, Krocks!!

[@jillc9882]

Wow Jessica, it feels like you have been in my head. I identify with every single word! You opened the floodgates of thoughts in my head. Thank you for posting this!

[@noeramosny]

Wow , thank you for being so authentic! You don’t know how you really help people with anxiety.

[@Susan.M.]

I suffered from those scenarios with my son as well...i wish us all wellness and freedom. Good luck Jessica 💙 oh finding a GOOD therapist is a big part of it. One that doesn't just tell you to think positive thoughts...

[@craftlover9702]

Thank you so much for sharing this! I totally get it! I went to night school for my 12th grade year because I only needed 2 classes to graduate and couldn't handle the social pressure. I was very outgoing in my younger years but around 13 years old everything changed. Shy, not fitting in, low self esteem, all of it I relate to. Recently stumbled onto your channel. I am much older then you both and recently lost my Husband and Mother 4 months apart and have been struggling with anxiety and blood pressure issues. You explaining what it is like is spot on. Certain triggers send things in motion and you feel as if you are on this spinning ride that you cannot get off of. What is currently helping me is Meditation and turning my life over to the Lord and walking by Faith. Thanks again for sharing this!! It definitely makes me feel not so alone....

[@irinapopescu7328]

Even if I am not dealing with strong anxiety, I loved your video and your story! My brother has anxiety and it makes me understand him more. Congratulations on your efforts and best of luck and health in the future! ❤️

[@lauriehoer8605]

Your weaknesses are becoming your strengths and that is a beautiful thing!! So brave in sharing!! :)

[@LauraRodriguez-Peace]

Although I personally do not experience anxiety, I have felt incredibly low at times for various reasons. The advice you give to seek the help and support one needs is so valid. The life experience and timing was right for you to make things better, and your explanation of it all it so relatable. Thank you for opening up and sharing your feelings, Jessica. So glad you are taking care of yourself and coming through strong. Your personal journey is going to make a huge difference to many of the folks who are feeling the same way. You explained everything in such a eloquent, detailed way, and I found it extremely inspiring. Looking forward to hearing more about whatever you wish to share, and I am always silently cheering on your weight loss/lifestyle change adventure. Best to you and Brian!

[@sjs3590]

Thank you for sharing this. I have had depression all of my life hid behind walls. You put it in to words for me. Thank you.

[@annevaughan4338]

Thanks for sharing so openly! I'm sure I'm not the only one who can identify with much of what you shared. It took me years to actually be able to name what I was feeling. Now that I'm nearly 75, I think I've put most of my demons behind me. A person is never too old to change!!

[@JustMrsHugo]

Wow, thank you so much for your honesty - you are NOT the only person privately struggling with this condition. My adult son has described the same experiences, medication and a good doc can make it possible to finally relax and live life. Keep being positive, we can feel it!

[@bswiger3096]

When you said “fix myself” a window opened to my soul. I am going to share this with another who really needs to hear you. Thank you Jessica.

[@meredithmilstead7814]

I found myself nodding and agreeing with you a lot. Anxiety is awful. Thank you for sharing this with us. ❤️

[@rettahenry6362]

Wow. Thank you for putting into words what many of us with anxiety feel. Used food to squash down my "unsettled feelings" but that was never enough. I was the class clown and like Brian would make jokes about my weight before anybody else had a chance. Humor was my outlet, but in private, food was my comfort.

[@TashJansson]

Thanks for sharing this! I think it wreaks such havoc, this sort of "responsibility" to control everything in your life, that the anxious brain makes you think you have, and the paralysis and actual powerlessness that it creates. There is no winning. I'm very happy that you got help, I don't really believe this is something we can deal by ourselves

[@OkieCam16]

Jessica - So proud of you for the work you're doing on yourself and for being brave enough to share it to help others. I understand what you're discussing both from a personal and professional point of view. Having a social worker in the family and growing up in the '70's - the time of the first self-help books - I'd been surrounded with discussions of mental health. Still, no one knows everything and we often struggle most to recognize the truth in ourselves and those closest to us. My depression was a sort of lay-diagnosed issue since childhood. Somehow it was simply accepted that I was just a serious child who "cared too much." My anxiety was not officially diagnosed until I was around 33, and then only after I self-diagnosed with an online checklist ("OMG how do I have PTSD without having been in a war?!"). It turns out the "hypoglycemic attacks" I'd had throughout my teens were actually "Panic Attacks." I figured this out in grad school after getting my degree in psychology, while getting a Masters in Human Relations. (I always found that ironic since I never felt I related well to other humans.) Still, even with the knowledge of lifelong panic attacks (I clearly remember an incident when I was 3), doctors and therapists focused solely on my depression. I tried a couple different medications a couple of times, but didn't stick with them. (PS please refer to them as "meds" rather than "drugs" - we have a medical condition not an addiction... actually I noticed you made this switch on your own when you got to the place in your story where you were no longer resistant to accepting help.) In my mid-30s a CBT support group helped me understand my anxiety. Then a new doctor started trying hard to find the right dosage and combination of meds for me - this is when my rapid weight gain happened. A few years later I was finally able to afford to see a psychiatrist (through a special program) and was more carefully monitored in trying new meds. I learned from him that (over 10-15? years ago) they had finally figured out how closely anxiety and depression are. In a study something like 97% of people who'd been diagnosed with anxiety were given full depression screenings and earned that diagnosis as well. In the same study something like 97% of people who'd been diagnosed with depression were given full anxiety screenings and earned that diagnosis as well. In addition, "Anxiety" is a whole family of disorders, very closely related. So, if you start with one (say "Social Anxiety"), and it goes undiagnosed or untreated, you are then more likely to develop another (say "Panic Disorder"), and another (say "OCD"), and so on. Also, each of these carries with it the likelihood of developing depression. Like you, there were times I was convinced I could fix it myself (I was therapy-smart after all), but also times when I was convinced it wasn't worth trying. There were times I thought "if only I ... (reached this certain goal), then my life would work itself out." This is called "magical thinking" and the result of the inevitable failures each time was the belief that "nothing will ever make any difference." So now, I'm trying to get healthy through a WFPB lifestyle, but being careful not to expect miracles. Instead of expecting improving my health to "solve everything" I'm just hoping it makes things "a little bit better." Thanks again for your (and Brian's) inspiration and support to all of us strangers out here. You have created a community (with or without naming us) and made a big difference in our lives - even if only by making a small difference. Much love.

[@steelstrings87]

This is beautiful, thank you for sharing. It's fantastic that you're talking about this. So many people struggle with mental health and the shame and silence around it literally kills people. I can't overstate the importance of what you're doing just by talking. You said that one conversation changed your entire life...you might be doing that for a lot of other people right now. It sounds like you've had a great support system though, which is wonderful. I remember my anxiety back to kindergarten, lol. I was sloooowly coloring in a picture of a raccoon with an umbrella to get it perfectly within the lines and it was time to move on to the next activity but I wasn't done and it wasn't perfect yet and I FREAKED OUT. I guess it wasn't an isolated incident but that's the first one I remember. I'd also have recurring thoughts of family members dying at that time too, and sometimes worse things...it helped to learn that those are called intrusive thoughts and lots of other people have them and it's a symptom of anxiety and OCD (I didn't exactly understand this until I heard Maria Bamford talk about her own intrusive thoughts.) I also had a similar situation with absences in high school (I had a ton of depression in the mix, and it sounds like you did too.) I missed weeks at a time even though I was a great student when I was there, perfectionist type, etc, etc. I ended up 4th in my class even though I missed at least a month of school my senior year and barely graduated because of attendance (lets go ahead and toot our own horns, why not lol.) I also love your comment about what anxiety and depression has given you. I agree that depression and anxiety makes us more empathetic. I also work with kids with disabilities and my anxiety makes me weirdly amazing at troubleshooting situations that might not be 100 percent safe (sometimes thinking of worst case scenarios isn't the worst thing lol.) I'm struggling right now, but who isn't, this is such a weird time. I was also super resistant to therapy and drugs but now I'm using a combination of both (Wellbutrin, lexapro and therapy, God bless! The therapy is SO important. I also resisted it for 31 years. Gotta let it get as bad as possible before getting help right ; )? lol) The struggles around our menstrual cycles is also so real, I have that too. I'm here if you (Jessica) or anyone else (subscribers) dealing with these things and reading the comments wants to reach out. I promise I'm a normal basic person in her 30's, lol. Connection and just talking about this stuff is so important.

[@annar8994]

Bravo! 👏👏👏 Your story will have a ripple effect...people will see themselves in you and seek help! Thank you for being willing to share this Jessica! Very brave of you.

[@ashleylong7900]

I'm one of those IRL friends who is watching and listening. "Wanting to do everything at once, and nothing at all" I really felt that, and I like how honest you are with folks about how this channel has impacted you (both the good and the bad), since I think a lot of people who aren't content creators maybe don't think about that side of things when they are tuning in every week. You are more relatable than you know and I'm so glad you are sharing these aspects of yourself with us, friends and strangers alike. (*while searching for therapists* "This one looks kinda crazy, I don't wanna talk to her" LMAOO see that is why I love you.)

[@KrocksInTheKitchen]

❤️❤️❤️ Thank you Ashley. Your friendship has helped me throughout the years more than you could possibly know. I’m so glad our lives became intertwined all those years ago and that we haven’t lost touch. No matter how much time passes, you’re always one of those people I can pick back up with like no time has gone by at all. 🙂

[@cynthiacook583]

It is the Christmas season and once again my stress and anxiety has gotten the best of me. One more ruined Christmas. Thanks for sharing your journey and giving me the courage to find a professional and get some mental relief. You are an inspiration.

[@laineybugger]

I’ve been there friend! Meds and talk therapy definitely helped me. My anxiety has flared up some with all this pandemic stuff while going through breast cancer treatment. But I think I’m dealing with it a LOT better than I would have a few years ago!

[@anng.r.687]

You rock!!! Thanks for sharing your story and insights. I hope your voice is a whisper that speaks to the person that needs to hear that message.

[@c.calastri2985]

I would seriously appreciate a little more information on what you were taught during therapy to handle anxiety. You're a beautiful soul and finding your channel has given me so much joy! I've been struggling with anxiety all of my life and definitely have had ups and downs. There have been years when I felt invincible and so content, but it does keep coming back. Living a healthy lifestyle helps soooo much but it's not enough. Thanks for shining a light on this, we are not alone

[@PaleLady]

I relate so much when you made the comparison of yourself in this video to you're regular videos. I feel like I come off as crass and loud when I'm around people but I honestly just want to be calm and quiet.

[@wandawareham1602]

This is so positive for mental health. Your honesty is refreshing. I watch you and your husband not because I am doing a plant based diet, but because you are such good natured folks and I do plan to integrate a few of your recipes! Thank you.

[@KrocksInTheKitchen]

Thank you Wanda ❤️

[@lazydaisy7336]

I thought I had watched all of your videos but I came across this one and it’s the most vulnerable I have seen you be. This is a wonderful video for us who struggle with anxiety and depression. There are those who will judge but they are trolls to be tuned out. For years I wouldn’t do things or wear certain clothing because I was afraid of what others would think of me. I wasted so much time. I finally figured out that they certainly don’t care about what I think or do or wear. Even if they did, who cares! Thanks for being vulnerable.

[@kitchenworker446]

Thank you for sharing Jessica. there were so many resounding " that's me!" moments as I watched this video. My own issues of anxiety end with me feeling completely overwhelmed by what I see as the 'problems ' that are bothering me. I feel that your advice to seek help is the best possible route.

[@terrydunlap8441]

Thank you so much for being open. You are helping so many people. I am 52 and am just coming to grips with my anxiety. I have had outbursts of temper my whole life, but never related it to anxiety. Now that I have begun addressing it, I can monitor and feel when the anxiety begins and have realized that the temper outbursts are because the anger tells me I have lost control and I give in, in a negative way. Now I have ways to handle the anxiety that have helped level things off. Again, thank you so much. I have always thought there was something wrong with me, because I couldn't handle the anxiety. Now, I know that some us are just wired differently.

[@nancyferland6044]

The struggle is real! Thanks for sharing your struggles. I suffer from anxiety and imposter syndrome. I know how you feel.

[@lynneeie5226]

I identified with a lot of this, and was tempted not to comment, but then... I really feel the need to say thank you and wow... and holy cow you are brave and for real and... just thank you. I have a lot of respect for you. Inspiring.

[@mistycgrimm1]

I think about my husband dying all the time and try to work out what I would do and finances. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder in 2016. I was rushed to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. I had a massive anxiety attack that took 6 hours to get under control. I’m not a depressed person but anxiety has made me very depressed. I can’t take meds for it due to side effects (blood pressure and heart palpitations) but do take something to calm me down during a bad episode. I’ve now learned that all the things I carried on my shoulders from childhood has caught up with me and this is the result. I’m constantly working on myself and trying to just love myself more. Thank you for sharing your experience with anxiety. I can relate to a lot of what you said.

[@ajja4038]

Thank you so much I've been going threw this for years i finally went to therapy for three times so far has helped so much but still have them at times listening to you is helping me a lot because i know now im not the only one who has the thoughts we all dont want but cant control im still doing is the door locked checking again the stove the unpluging so many things therpy is helping but a long way to go im still working on the weight. This helped me so much i cryed a little relieved A little knowing it will be ok im not alone in this im not the only one please talk more like this with us in your time never no pressure my therpyist has taught me to in brace it not be afraid of it it has helped and other stuff different vitamins that help which can get from your diet and the sunshine so i just wanted to tell you how much this has brought me even closer to you then before by the way I've always loved you and Brian to me you guys are Amazing God Bless 💖💖💖💖💖I also dont want to be Bitter and Angry any more and have been working on it🌹🌹🌹🌹 👍😊👍👩👍💖💖🙏🌹👆👆👆👆

[@angelicatorres-pino6649]

Wow! I'm in my 50's and I struggle with anxiety too. I totally understand how you feel. I worry about my husband and sons (who are adults) all the time. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad I'm not alone. I really enjoy watching your videos keep up the great work.

[@katieleathleyllc]

I relate to so much of this. Anxiety has ruled my life for a long time. When you said you were trying to fix yourself, that opened my eyes! Thank you for being so open and honest💜

[@EmiLala]

Thank you so much for this video!! One of the biggest helps after realising I had anxiety and depression was to find out I am not alone. That there are other people who went through similar things. To hear "I understand you. I know what you are going to, because I went through it, too!" was such a game changer. Also thank you for taking a stand for therapy and medication! You are 100% right! Some of us have different brains and it is okay to get help whether it be therapy or medication or a combination of both! We are not weak for wanting to not suffer and have a life that is not constantly a struggle. Because there will still be enough struggles up ahead. Anyways, thanks again for being so open and honest

[@OkieCam16]

Yes! It is not weak to seek out help. It takes strength, and hard work, to get the help we need. ALL humans need help, just not all in the same way or for the same things, so it is just ignorance that causes some humans to put down others for having the strength to see it through. Also, mental health is HEALTH, it is as physiological as it is mental/emotional - just as all other health issues are also as mental/emotional as they are physiological. Not to mention how physiologically exhausting it is to fight against the constant anxieties (as Jessica discussed) and motivate ourselves past the depression. If we were "weak" we would never have made it this far.

[@justjeanne1458]

Bravo Jessica for sharing your story here. It will be a help and blessing to many people. The stigma of mental illness needs to be removed so we can all get the help we need instead of hiding it or being shamed for it. You're pretty amazing!

[@maggieheartsyou]

I only found this video now but I needed to watch this too! I am an extrovert but also suffered from shyness when I was a kid, to being extremely anxious and suffering from impostor syndrome my entire life. I feel you, I also play the worst case scenarios in my head, curl up on the face of confrontation, I am really hard on myself (also refusing meds or therapy, thinking I can fix it myself) and suffer from being a perfectionist and a workaholic. Apart from our different personalities, we have similar experiences. Thank you Jessica!

[@tishamonroe7418]

you are very smart and I recognize the empathetic nature you have. It is hard embracing a new life style WFPB, but it is not just the food, it is a way of looking at all of life. I am morphing into a morning person from a lifelong night owl. I am becoming dedicated to my faith and to my prayer life. and crazy for me, i am exercising. I walked a year, then ran a little once a week and just kept doing it. After four years of WFPB life , I ran 7 miles yesterday. But there will be set backs , as long as I keep up my resolve I will be OK. BIG HUG JESSICA, you are really AMAZING! You are blessed to have a good man to be on this journey with!!

[@r.mcd2921]

Accepting agency in one's health, mental or otherwise, is a hero's journey. This is an outstanding message Jessica, and thank goodness we live in a time where this can be discussed more openly. I know you will help many with this. We live in very unnatural times. As humans we simply haven't had time to evolve and adapt to the changes technology and the roaring fast pace of events bring to our lives. It's rather remarkable we do as well as we do. Perhaps an upside to the quarantine will be the recognition of this, and a realignment of our lives with nature. I hold hope.

[@charsellehooper6128]

You are a gift to the world. You have helped many people. May the Universe surprise you with joy!

[@kimchaffey9827]

Thank you for sharing. Congratulations on stepping into your new life. Keep up the hard work.

[@renefrentzen8670]

Oh Jessica the more you reveal who you are the more I love you. I’m so sorry that you’ve struggled with this all your life. And I’m so very proud of you that you took the step to get help. You deserve all the good things in life. I’m gonna be sharing this on my Facebook page because I think it’s a great insight into what people secretly struggle with, and often times we have no idea. Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️

[@lonelyjokers4]

Jessica, your story was so honest and real. I know this sounds weird but I enjoyed it. Not because I enjoy seeing others in pain or having suffered but because it was real and something I could relate to. I'm like you, I think I can be strong enough to muscle my way through whatever problems I'm facing and you've almost got me convinced to go see help.

[@suznknight5896]

You are very brave and selfless to share this story so openly. Thank you!!

[@donnajohnson8035]

Thank you for being so raw and open. I too have anxiety and depression and it’s really helped to hear your story and experiences.

[@joannevargas9638]

Thank you Jessica for being so real with all of us in this video. It gave me more understanding of how anxiety and depression play on a person's mind. I know you have helped hundreds of folks who can relate to your issues and others who now can be more empathetic towards others living with them. I admire you for who you are with your strength and honesty. Blessings to you. Keep the good work!👍

[@roslinney4285]

Amazing video Jessica, this will help so many people. I suffered with menopausal anxiety and was the first time in my life. The bitterness and negativity you talked about resonated with me , I was angry all the time. You described it so well and with such clarity. I am getting out of it now like you. I think you are wonderful and such a strong person. Lots of love xxxxx

[@daisysmum7336]

Thank you 🙏🏽 for talking about this. You have developed so many coping techniques and you are sharing this with all of us. I cannot tell you how much this resonates with me. Please give us more of “A Krock on a Couch”.

[@emilynavarro4182]

I used to have anxiety attacks when alone with my children driv8ng. My mind would go to things like, "slow down or a deer will run in feont of the car and decapitate you with the horns as it comes though the window. Or stopping at a gas station, my mind would begin to reel the next scenario..."You better park close to the door or someone could steel your car, with your kids inside, and you will never see them again!" My mind was overwhelming me with even more than was necessary. I went and was put on medication, which made me a zombie. Which was better?...the attacks or NOT being able to go in public because of the attacks. I just couldn't kick it. I decided to use natural medicine, which helped better than the drugs, with no side effects. I hope you continue to talk about it and see what works for you.

[@Neenerbobeenerlucyann]

What kind of natural medicine? Id love to try that first before a prescription 😊

[@Dani-ys7ut]

@@Neenerbobeenerlucyann Me too I'd like to know about nature medications.

[@Abuelitahere]

Thank you for sharing. 💕

[@hopedavies2004]

Thank you so much for sharing! I do the EXACT same worst-case scenario thinking, I have felt guilt and shame for years when my thoughts play the whole situation out just like you described, even leading to thinking it would be good if my partner died. I don't feel as bad knowing that someone else has had the same thought pattern. I have my first therapy appt this week.

[@tammymasson2343]

You are SO GOOD at putting things into words! You said things I have felt and gone through! Thank you for this! 💜

[@PiperNana]

Tammy Masson Exactly! I feel the same.

[@vickibeaver3441]

Awesome video. Thank you for the courage it took to allow yourself to become vulnerable so that the very private things you've suffered can help others. We all deal with something Jessica, there is no shame for you or anyone else for that matter. We all need one another to help lift each other up, and the only way we can truly do that is to be real and honest with the people that God brings across our paths to share with. There are no coincidences, not even that person bringing back the phone to someone you were with, that led to her sharing some pretty profound things with you that changed your life. That was our sovereign God arranging someone to throw out a life line for you to grab onto when you were ready to accept help.. That's pretty profound in itself... Thank you for sharing your story, it makes all of us love you just a little bit more than we already do ...From the ❤️, Vicki in Virginia 😇💐

[@unoffensiveusername1887]

Thank you so much for being so open and honest, Jessica. I had a complete breakdown last fall that was made up of many, many things, but centralized on fear of my husband dying, so I can completely relate. I have had a couple of dreams about him dying this past week, and am terrified of returning to the place where I was last fall. It is so comforting, in a strange way, to hear someone else going through a similar situation. (By the way, I am already on medication, and made an appointment earlier today for a new therapist, so I'm headed in the right direction.)