My Niece RUINED My Coat That's Worth $20,000 But People Think I Shouldn't Own It r/Relationships

[@nightcorelucario2218]

Destruction of property is still destruction. Doesn't matter what price it is, you break it you buy it, especially when there's intent behind it

[@DocKrazy]

It doesn't matter what was destroyed either. Still destruction of property

[@nonna0157]

Especially if it’s $20k because me personally I would not let that slide

[@thehaveninthehand]

@@nonna0157 I just did the math and 20k is what I have for food, clothes and other goods for an entire year when my bills are paid xD holy moly

[@poohbear4515]

Even if their faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamily, doesn’t friggen matter. Cousin should’ve gotten a record along with selling her car and working off to pay for her damage. I’d also demand sister pay as well for teaching her child how to be cruel cause she barely punished her at all.

[@piratsnygg]

@@thehaveninthehand Just did the math too. That's 5 years for me, holy shit! 😮

[@disneydork100]

What they say: “Be the bigger person” What they mean: “lie flatter Doormat, so we can step on you comfortably”

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yep. That's pretty much what it sounds like. Seriously though, enablers have ruined the term "Be The Bigger Person" for me. (⁠٥⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠)

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 it's not anyone's business how much someone's property costs. 16 is old enough to know better. She told OP how much it cost. She damaged the coat for internet clout with a substance that couldn't be removed. The niece deserves to have her car sold. She has zero critical thinking skills. She shouldn't be behind the wheel.

[@owl7072]

Honestly. For all we know, with that level of critical thinking, she might crash it or hit someone with it just for some internet clout 🚶🏻 "Running over my neighbor just to see how they react 😊✨️" _10 seconds later_ "I'm being arrested and sued, idk why 🥺😭"

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@owl7072 Right this girl is horrible and lacking in the brain department

[@rickrollrizal]

The ones complaining are socialist sjw types

[@AuskaDezjArdamaath]

And let’s not forget that her mother doesn’t seem to think what her daughter did deserves any real consequences. Thank goodness the father is an actual parent in this case.

[@thebigmystery7841]

The car was a perfect solution. The punishment for doing that to someone who ISNT family would be worse. So itll let her feel some heat of consequences without hurting her future. She got it easy.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Story 1: Personally, I wouldn’t want clothes that expensive, I would just be too worried about it all the time. But that being said, victim blaming isn’t the answer. The niece knew how much it cost and willing damaged property of $20,000. The niece is old enough to drive for damn’s sake. The niece is 100% to blame. Definitely NTA. Story 2: Those people are monsters. 16:20. The dad still doesn’t take any responsibility. And only blames his wife and stepdaughter when it puts *his* job at risk. No regard for his daughter that he ab*sed.

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

I don't think op wanted it either for the same reason. But no way in hell are you going to say no to it its a closet gift you wear it sometimes for big events and when you go to the person who gave it to you home to make a show that you love it, it wasn't about the coat but the coat is a show of approval.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@petthequeenofmaddness8592 yeah. It was a gift. She didn’t even buy it herself. Which adds sentimental value on top of everything

[@ShanaLawson]

I was all ready to say “if you can’t afford to replace a 20k coat you shouldn’t own one.” I then learned it was a gift, that changed my mind immediately. I don’t know why I didn’t even think about that to begin with 🤦‍♀️

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@ShanaLawson Hey, it's ok. Some people jump to that conclusion when they find out about an expensive luxury item.

[@littleoak5]

Looked up the company that made that coat. That coat was made of some of the finest materials in existence, they have some coats worth 30000 too

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Update with Story 2: Am I the only one who LOVED how everything, and I mean EVERYTHING backfired on Kay and Ella and OP's Dad? It just went nuclear with a push of the button and it's glorious!

[@BlueSkyBS]

Story 2: In the end, OP was the bigger person, because her sperm donor, Kay and Ella ended up looking real small and pathetic.

[@calmingvoice8646]

Imagine messing up as much as the dad from the second story messed up, and pushing your luck. Forget that, imagine banning your family from giving your daughter gifts. You have to be a special kind of evil to do that.

[@maddy8328]

She threw paint at you, knowing the coats price, and knowing what it meant to you. She KNEW what she was doing. NTA

[@laowaistudieschina7470]

It's not for anyone else to decide whether or not you own a $20K coat. They should respect the fact that it is not their property to do with as they wish.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Niece knew what tf she was doing. It doesn't matter how much the coat costs, so the people having a whining fit over how expensive it was, and calling Op an AH for that alone can sit the hell down. It was a _gift_ and I can feel it in my bones that if they were offered something that expensive then they'd have taken it and then been equally as upset when it was destroyed, but ✨️no✨️ instead of having empathy and trying to put themselves in Op's shoes, they're just whining because _~gasp~_ Op owns something that happens to be very expensive! How rude of them to own such an expensive item!

[@robertx8020]

Well then I think they have no issues that the daughter has to give up a 'car that is bad for the enviroment /s and seems to cost almost as much'

[@rosealicia1782]

Story 1: Hate when people use that excuse. "Well if you don't want your expensive stuff ruined, then you shouldn't own expensive stuff!" Its *no ones business* to touch anything that doesn't belong to them! They don't get to judge you for having nice things for yourself! If anything the only case cost does matter is wether or not its worth taking them to court over. And clearly- this is worth it, when its several thousand dollars.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 2: Keep the abusers OUT of you life.End of discussion. Update: WELL PLAYED, OP! You know all 3 of them are seething about how "it's all OP's fault". Seriously, though, i hope op gets into a new home and make sure to minimize her presence on social media. The Wicked Witch and her Crotch Goblin are probably mad enough to actually do something now.

[@lostshadows768]

Story 1: I'd be seriously pissed off if someone did that to either of my coats, and neither cost more than $30. It's going to make the thing unwearable, unless you're really desperate.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 2 update: Holy shit, imagine sending death threats over not being invited to a wedding?! And then they have the gall to beg OP to take the screenshots down after the matter. They deserve to have their lives ruined and I almost wonder if Dad only reached out because he wanted his wife and stepdaughter to have a punching bag that wasn't him. Screw all of them, they had it coming.

[@jessicalarson196]

😊

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

@@jessicalarson196 seriously? 😒 Like 20 times

[@shebakoby]

Kay and her family sound downright psychotic.

[@ladylilith06]

Update: she posted all text and the story on line, step family completely disowned her step mum and brat, daddy is also cut off and now is throwing his wife and child under bus and saving his ass both are screwed and I'm happy

[@shebakoby]

@@ladylilith06 the perfect resolution. Karma.

[@HawthorneVampire]

Wedding story: dad is considering divorcing stepmom not for her actions against OP, but for her actions being exposed.. lol

[@swedishmeatball4382]

Yeah, beacuse these action affects him and his work. That his daughter was treated like dirt for years by the creature he married did not affect him so that was fine and dandy. After all, he needs someone to have bedrroom activities with as he is a man and that is much, much more important that his kid being safe and treated well. As long his manhood is happy, he's happy. Father of the year, that one.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@swedishmeatball4382 Oh yeah, Father of the Year for sure. NOT! OP is definitely lucky to be rid of her garbage father. And he gets no sympathy from me. If he didn't want his life to be ruined, then he should've NEVER married that wicked witch. Maybe he was thinking with his manhood and not his brain, but here's the thing. Anyone can be good in bed AND be kind to your children.

[@a3s1r1986]

heard this story before. It doesn't matter what it cost, damage is damage and a prank that someone didn't find funny is not a prank. Glad at least one person in that family can see the writing on the wall.

[@DarkPascual]

As a geek, I know a thing or two about owning expensive junk that nobody but me cares about. It doesn't matter one bit that 99% of the population thinks that is dumb to own a $20,000, that's still private property and still must be respected.

[@DarkAngel65989]

Story 2: I hate when people tell the victmin to be the bigger person when they are the ones hating, OP should just cutr contact like no more low contact and enjoy their life since clearly the dad prefer his new family over OP and he just divorcing the stepmom to just save his skin nothing else.

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

Yep. People do that because it's easier to pressure the reasonable person then to deal with the insane one

[@DarkAngel65989]

@@scourgedarkpaw9949 I know, but that just bullshit, if someone say that to me I would say FU you all, and leave me alone

[@mandalorianhunter1]

@@scourgedarkpaw9949 yep no accountability what's so ever

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@scourgedarkpaw9949 That's pretty cowardly if you ask me. Not to mention, you're just delaying the inevitable confrontation. Eventually, you're going to run into an issue where you can't enable or protect the crazy and often nasty one or you can't get them what they want. And of course, if that crazy, toxic person is exposed for their awful behavior and people discovered that you knew about it and did nothing to stop it or worse encouraged it, then you will be rightfully shamed as a spineless enabler.

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly I agree but people don't often think about the future. People like to avoid confrontation which is what toxic people rely on

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA OP is more than generous. He is super entitled and isn't good with money. Asking his parents to pay college for a kid they JUST met is ridiculous

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Story 2: I barely got halfway through the story and I'm absolutely appalled! 😡 110% NTA. Dad clearly chose his spoiled wife and his spoiled stepdaughter. He clearly abandoned OP for his "perfect family". Well, fine. They deserve each other. I'm so glad OP cut ties with her sperm donor father. Good riddance to him. I'm so tired of people who say "we need to be the bigger person and let it go." when they really mean "Just put up with bad behavior so we can have our peace." After Updates: Well, THAT escalated quickly. 😨 How terrifying! 😰 Poor OP! I'm so glad that horrible family is falling apart and their lives are ruined. That's exactly what the horrible lot of them deserve.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Parents who choose their new partners over their children's wellbeing should be exposed. Publicly humiliated. Their employers, their friends, family's, everyone should know that who exactly they are and drag em for it. No sympathy.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@khaleesireyna731 I agree with you. Anyone who chooses their new partners over their own children deserve to be exposed and publicly humiliated. Oh and they shouldn't have had children.

[@terribleeditor4556]

Story 1: You break it you buy it, she's old enough to know actions have consequences and those consequences can be costly.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Story 3: Definitely NTA. OP's a great grandma. The fact that she offered to give money that was seemingly supposed to go into getting herself a new car speaks volumes about her kind nature. And I'll be honest. I think she should consider cutting off entitled son financially at least. It's clear that he's taking advantage of her and her generosity. 🙄

[@desireeloveros1055]

Yeah especially since the kid came later in life. Now if he was like

[@terramarini6880]

I think they should bypass their son and talk to the step grandson, he might know nothing of this conversation and be incredibly grateful for the 5000 offer. At his age he knows that this new family holds no obligation to him but this offer says you hold a care.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@terramarini6880 I agree with you. OP would be morally in the clear if she wrote entitled son out of her will(especially given his track record with money)and give his share to stepgrandson. Especially if he's the polar opposite of his stepfather.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Story 2: I'm cackling at the fact that OP exposing Kay, Ella, and the Dads behavior and how it's now bring consequences down on them. I'd take it one step further and send his employer the messages trying to bribe OP to take the evidence down. Oh to be a fly on the wall in that HR meeting!

[@MizzDemocracy]

The 1st story reminded me of Sex and the city when Carrie was shoe shamed when her shoes were stolen at a party. She asked for the money and it was Manolo Blahnik shoes and the friend offered her like half the price 😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

Not gonna spoil it if anyone is reading comments before finishing the video, but BIL is the MVP in story 1. OP's sister is an enabler and coddles her poorly behaved teen

[@nataliereeves3594]

The sister is turning her daughter into the same horid person she is. Brother in law needs to divorce her and get the daughter away from her before it's too late.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: My my my if it isn't the consequences of their actions

[@zacharydobbins6267]

I say respond to anyone who says ‘this is your chance to fix the relationship.’ Id say ‘can you turn sand into a rock with your hands?’

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: I'm wondering why a 16 year old has a $20,000 car? We're not talking about a family on the edge of poverty. Whether it's $200, or $2,000, or $20,000, if you deliberately damage something, you pay for it. Or your parents, if you're a minor.

[@carolroberts4614]

If they can get 20000 dollars for it second hand, it must have been much more new! That's ridiculous for 16 year old, surely!

[@VoidWalkerOblivion]

I don't think it is - I think they're trying to treat the lump sum from the car like a down-payment on the 'debt'. They do say that what the car doesn't cover, the niece will have to get a job to earn.

[@robertx8020]

@@VoidWalkerOblivion But that is beacause you can never be sure what you get back for a secondhand car (well unless the estimate is way above that 20000)

[@groofromtheup5719]

Giving a $20k car to a 16yo is a bigger a-hole move than giving a $20k coat to your DIL.

[@rubymeaddle]

No one said the car was $20k, it's just a lump sum for the repayment and a punishment that fits the crime.

[@tineve2002]

Story 2: So not only did OP stepmother and step sister ruin her childhood, They had the audacity to be mad for not being invited to her wedding. Ohhhhh My God, OP should go more than nuclear on them. What OP's horrible family has to understand is that the world does not revolve around them.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Don't worry. Karma strikes in the update. After being exposed as the awful human beings they are, that horrible family and their lives are ruined, completely ruined. And Dad is only considering divorce NOW, rather than when wicked stepmother and evil stepsister started ruining her life, just to save his own skin. In any case, the horrible lot of them deserved everything they got and more!

[@sacredseraphim3987]

Story 2 went from AITA to Nuclear Revenge real quick. Thanks Reddit community.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: NTA. We're getting it back in blood. Lawyer up. These pranks are not funny. Destroying people's things have consequences.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 I heard this as well. I wouldn't have even given the dad a second chance. He burned that bridge.

[@TheLonelyOnee]

Story two, dad was NEVER worth anything. Talk about being a horrible parent. Also anyone that said OP should be the bigger person should be cut of immediately, they also have no value to add to OP's life...

[@heatherweir8726]

Ops niece should be forced to delete her social media. Along with paying op back by getting a summer job.

[@soulechelon2643]

Story 1: NTA. Doesn't matter how much the coat costs or if it was a gift or not; however it being a gift adds an extra layer to its worth. Either way, the niece ruined it and clearly not by accident. I understand 20 thousand dollars is an insane amount of money for a coat, but forcing that niece to pay for it will teach her a damn good lesson that a simple grounding won't. After watching the update: Awesome to see both husbands here coming together and settling this. It's clear OP's husband is business-minded and knew exactly what to do, and it's also clear her sister's husband understood the ramifications of this *ACTUAL* crime and made sure things got settled. Sounds like the niece will most definitely learn her lesson. It sucks when this sort of thing happens in a family, but this wasn't the fault of the OP - it was the niece and her enabling mother.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Story 1: Totally NTA. Actions have consequences. Wealthy family or Modest Family. Not to mention, pranks are funny. This is NOT funny. The niece need to suffer the consequences of her actions. After Update: Poor BIL. He has a Karen for a wife and a spoiled bratty child. Hopefully he can get out of that toxic environment. Jesus......Oh and Good for OP's husband for having OP's back and her mother in law for offering to give a new jacket. Clearly, they're a great family to have.

[@rahulmodi8706]

Story 2: I despise men like that, how can you abandon your own daughter. Anyone saying mend the relationship and be the bigger person are genuinely morons. They are unable to relate and think until it affects them.

[@N.A.R1980]

Story 3, thats the best grands ever putting the step grandchild by offering 5k from her car budget which is a need. Pls know u are definately a gem which all grandkids appreciate. I too have the greatest grands like you.

[@jackspring7709]

Criminal damage for a prank. - and I see the "be the bigger person brigade" are out in force again, no doubt jealous underneath it all. OP should tell them all to f off. UPDATE: Music to my ears. Glad to see the BIL is a reasonable and good man and he has my sympathies having a wife and daughter of that caliber.

[@ILJ68]

If she had let them attend the wedding my bet is K and E would have worn white wedding type dresses. Good for her for standing her ground.

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Story #2: Be the bigger person?? I'm betting that daddy dearest is smelling inheritance money in the future. He probably thinks that she'll get all her grandparents assets and trying to work his way into her good graces. And I'm willing to bet if she did say they could come, stepsister would be trying to get cozy up with her fiance!! Daddy Dearest can GO TO HELL!!

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, she's 16, she knew how much it cost, and she did it on purpose. Destroying someones property is not a prank. I agree with those saying it is stupid to own a $20,000 dollar coat, but it's your money to waste. In my life I think I have spent ir had spent on me $500 on coats (have had the same $50 coat for close to 20 years). Story 2: NTA, you were abused for years by these people, they have no right to you...period. Being the bigger person only works when both sides are about equally guilt of the fissure in the relationship. Story 3: NTA, you offered money even though he has only been in your family for 3 years, $5000 is a nice chunk considering he has only been in your family for 3 years.

[@EmmyRae1885]

Usually I judge people for being unfair to step grandkids but a 15 year old means they have max 3 years to develop a fund. $5k is very generous

[@OhHeyItIsNano]

Story 3: NTA. Giving $5k on such short notice is rather generous. The son should've accepted for his stepson as that can also give him a great head start in college.

[@robertx8020]

And why didn't his mother save up anything (as far as we know) in 15!!! fff years?

[@hhhhhhhh704]

Anyone who says you have to be the bigger person is automatically an AH

[@shubham221992]

Story 2: Well, that was a satisfying last update! I don't even feel a tiny bit bad about OP's dad losing his job.

[@thebarefootwitch5564]

Story 1: NTA. The niece is old enough to know better, she was malicious. I’d be sueing as well.

[@ScorpiusZA.]

Story 2: The fallout did my petty little heart so proud. I am always in favour of asymmetric consequences for those that wronged you. This was definitely revenge that i approve of

[@anonymousinternetperson]

I'm just in shock that a coat A COAT would cost over 20K

[@michal31131]

Balenciaga charges almost 2,000 $ for a trash bag, so I can believe anything at this point....

[@Swnsasy]

As a parent, I cannot imagine putting ANYONE, ANYONE over my children.. My husband has no children, I had 3 when we got together, they have their father.. My husband treated my kids with respect and 10yrs later they absolutely ADORE my husband.... I'm so tired of the VICTIM ALWAYS being told to be the bigger person... I'm the fucking victim!!! Would you say that too if the person molested me because he's FAAAAAMILY?!? That is what so many people need to start asking!! That father is absolutely vile, disgusting and deserves everything that comes!!

[@angerydestroyer]

That family bull is much as used as Karens I want to speak to the manager bull

[@whiskeyontherocks]

Story 2, isn't being the bigger person when someone decides to take steps to solve a conflict? To not want your bullies in your life, family or not isn't a matter of being the bigger person but a matter of standing up for yourself

[@sherryflanigan7680]

Is it just me or does it seem like the niece wanted the aunt to know the value of that coat before she ruined it?

[@Nortarachanges]

Well yeah. She wanted the emotional devastation to be as big as possible. For the clicks -.-

[@MsArtistwannabe]

Those saying be the bigger person have no idea what your dad and his new family put you through.

[@Wolvesbane39]

So many times when people bring up the "be the bigger person" argument fail to understand that what they're saying is "Just get over it and let the abuser back into your life without consequence" Being the bigger person means don't give into pettiness, but that doesn't mean accepting toxicity into your life and letting them get away with it.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 3- They did something wrong with their youngest son. He wants them to take money away from his 2 bio kids, that they've been putting aside for them since they were born, qnd give it to his almost grown stepson that's been in his life for barely more than a year? And they agreed to split it all between the 3 kids? He abandoned them, who knows if he was even paying child support, and now he's taking from them again because he can't manage his own life. Time to teach him some responsibility. His do over family wouldn't be getting one red cent from me!

[@quinhoprimeiro1049]

You destroy, you pay

[@albertgongora6944]

The thing I find so upsetting about the second story is the family members that took the Father's Side by telling op oh you should be the bigger person and ignore them and it's like no being the big person is on inviting these people to not come to your wedding or any event in your life in general not only that the father had his chance and he's rooted up because he chose the people that made op life a living hell where she literally had to work too for now just to get what she wanted and the sad part is none of them wanted to take in the fact that that's literal child abuse and I would cut these people out of my life of they think it's okay to support child abuse because that's what happened her life really was with her stepmom and step sister and her dad just there always telling her to let it go

[@synninideinjection2127]

Story 2: Dad certainly found out what happens when you "fuck around and find the fuck out," on a major scale. he deserves every bit of it, he choose those monsters, he choose to abandon OP for these monsters, he choose to get angry about OP not wanting them in her wedding, he choose to overlook the shit they pulled till it finally came back against him personally. He deserves them and every bit of the backlash that is coming his way, and I hope OP and her husband are safe and starting their new life happily.

[@Louves192]

Story 2: "Be the bigger person" just means be a doormat for other peoples convinience. The dad didn't want to reconnect with his daughter, he probably needed one of her kidneys or something like that...into the bin with him and everyone on his side. Disgusting.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: play stupid games when stupid prizes. The 16 year old played the Internet cloud variety of a stupid game. She knew how expensive that code was, and she did that on purpose for clicks. And who cares if it’s coat. It doesn’t matter what the item is. It has a 20K price tag on it and something that can’t just flippantly be easily replaced by simply buying a new one. STORY 2: people who apologize when they’re facing the consequences of their actions are not generally apologizing. They’re only apologizing to salvage themselves, not because they legit feel remorse.

[@spongebobonmolly]

“just have your husband buy you a new one” idk sounds like OPs sister is jealous that she’s married to a rich man

[@alexalexiou7410]

I hate it so much when people use a victim's special day (wedding/graduation/birthday etc.) to 'be the bigger person' and use it 'as a bonding moment'. NOPE NOPE NOPE. I'm dreading this conversation in the future bc I'm no contact with someone. I am fully prepared to disinvite half of my family over this. A boundary is a boundary. Wanna reconnect? Great! Not on my special day.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 3: NTA It's funny that OP's son that blew his college fund is the same son that is now bitching about his parents not summoning a college fund with 18 years of interest out of thin air. He is the reason the grandkids can't use the money as they see fit, which is a good rule even for the kids who would have the maturity to handle the sum responsibly.

[@CanonSkyrissian]

and this is why destruction of property is not a prank

[@paden1865able]

When your child ruins something, no matter the cost, you pay to replace it. Teach your kids to respect other people's property, ffs! Sounds like she's raised a right brat and either doesn't think so or she's ashamed of it.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

Even with the update in the first story I have a weird feeling that the sister and the niece of the original poster are going to basically drop the brother-in-law of the original poster in a heartbeat and potentially drain him in a divorce especially if the original poster says they're upper middle class. Think about it he's selling his daughter's car to pay off the damage that she did as part of a prank that a lot of people are doing in trends. His wife wanted to resolve this by just basically moving on as if it never happened because she married into money and she kept her husband out of the loop. Something tells me that either the husband is going to leave his wife and daughter at some point or the wife and daughter are going to give him hell until the day she graduates. Because I guarantee it if he grounds over the rest of the year she is going to basically overturn every choice he makes watch and see and wait and see as well

[@rubymeaddle]

"Why do you own a $20k coat?" Why is it anyone's BUSINESS? Niece is 16 years old, and did it for internet clout.

[@VoidWalkerOblivion]

Husband #1 is a very clever cookie, twisting around their wives' argument into "*We* were trying to help *you*". Manipulative, but not maliciously so. If you tell me he does well in business in a director's position, I'd believe it.

[@Lizmarie775]

If I've said it once I've said it a hundred times actions have consequences

[@jenniferhanses7064]

Story 1: NTA. You break it, you bought it. And if I had happened to ruin my aunt's $20,000 coat accidentally (say I dropped it in a puddle or something), I might try to beg her to pity me and not hold me to paying her back just because that's an exceedingly high amount, but I would do so if she insisted. But there should be no such pity for someone who ruined the coat on purpose, much less ruined the coat on purpose while KNOWING it cost $20,000. Someone who does something like that clearly has $20,000 they wanted to burn for their own amusement. Story 2: In the specific way you told the story, NTA. Look, here's the issue: There's no reason you would ever be required to invite your stepsister. So doesn't really matter. You can, or you cannot. It's your call. With your stepmother, you have the problem that she's married to your father. You either have to invite them both, or not invite them both. Which you choose is your call. But you cannot divide them and pick between them. But you never got to the actual point of issuing invitations. And your father picked the wrong battle to fight in insisting on both. Though honestly, I have deep suspicions of his motives in making nice with you out of the blue while still married to the harpy. Could it be that he worries that his parents are going to leave all the inheritance to you, and cut him out of the will? It just has that feel to it when you go to live with the grandparents, and he tries to make nice while still married to the woman who destroyed your family, and with his parents getting on in age. Story 3: NTA. My suggestion would have been to give the kid monthly or yearly amounts equal to what you give all the other kids in their accounts. That seems fair to me. Each kid gets an account and money when they join the family. I wouldn't offer to remove money from the bio grandkids, even the sisters that the son already has, as you would be shorting them to appease their father, and that's not fair to them in comparison with their cousins.

[@misamisaa4547]

Story 1: the coat was worth more than 20k. It was the first gift OP got from her mother in law. My grandma had this necklace that wasn't worth much (think a thin gold chain with a pendant), but it used to belong to her mother in law (grandpa's mom) who gave it to grandma in front of grandpa's sisters, showing that she accepted grandma as part of the family. Grandma wore it every single day. When she got hospitalised, she had to take it of & one of my cousins took it. Grandma was devastated and kept asking for [mother in law's] necklace until we found it.

[@slackerman9758]

Another way to describe the coat story “Malicious relative assaults me for the entertainment value of watching me suffer.”

[@kazzuo32]

#1. Nta. Is nobody's business how much it costs is your business to pay if you ruined it. Don't prank people if you don't want to suffer the consequences.

[@LisaApril]

Story one: Gee, if a man gets his Ferrari or Lamborghini hit and needs the person who hit The car to pay for the damages, do people tell him he should not have a car that expensive? NO but when a woman has an expensive coat people vilify her. These people are simply angry that a Woman has an expensive coat. Would they be putting up the same fuss If a man got his expensive cashmere coat ruined by a teenager playing a prank for KZbin and asked her to pay for it? NO

[@Lizmarie775]

This is why I enjoy being petty you can't make me do anything just because of family and I won't do anything I don't want to do

[@lilly_xox0244]

I hope that there's another update to story 2, I know that it's likely that it's not going to happen but I'm hoping for the "i divorced her for you" by the dad only for the daughter to say "that's supposed to do what? You're still not ever going to be a part of my life" type of ending.

[@JohnSmith-zw8vp]

Story 1 -- This would've been plenty bad enough if the niece was one of those animal rights wackos throwing paint on a fur coat but no, she only did for the "It's just a prank, sis!" :P

[@christafox13]

Actually it’s a Vicuña wool coat, which is an endangered animal similar to an alpaca but softer, can only be sheered once every 3 years and extremely rare. They’re desperately trying to save the species and protect it from extinction. Lol so destroying it would actually be anti-animal conservation 😂

[@christophermills7693]

anyone who ever does something and is forced to apologize and does not apologize and does not say what they did when they apologize isnt sorry for doing it only that they got caught. story 2: nta, your step mother sounds like the type that would object to you getting married just to spite you

[@kiwifreund]

On the last story: I think the entitled son also doesn't understand the basic passage of time. His new stepson only has a few years until high school graduation. That's not a lot of time to accrue funds for college when his fellow cousins had their whole young lives to have a nest egg started for them.

[@katecat3460]

I'm wainting for more videoos! Gosh, I just watch all of them! I need more while I prepare my lunch lol Thank you for your wonderful work, Mark! 🌸

[@Raaslen]

Be the bigger person = sacrifice yourself for peace in the family/friend group because the AH that are in the wrong are incapable of becoming better people

[@rinpaisys]

Story 1: I think I know how niece wound up such an remorseless brat.

[@giselleyfish3612]

I NEVER expected ANYTHING from my step dad

[@katiecakesl4691]

"Be the bigger person" is abuser talk for "Be a doormat"

[@lisakaz35]

Beautiful coats (I looked it up) but YIKES on the price.

[@a.munroe]

The niece wanted to damage property valued at $20,000. Flat out I'd have called the police then and there.

[@SpookiCooki]

All these stories pisses me off so bad but the second one was the absolute worst! Those people make Cinderellas step-family look like angels in comparison! I'm glad karma bit them all in their asses. They deserved that and so much more. Despicable people!

[@JohnAlcott238]

Sold her car yet has to get a job. How do you do that? That's what's going through my head

[@Nanashinoshi]

Story 1) beat the nieces ass... Story 2) Don't be the bigger person. Be petty. you've earned it.

[@srsh12345]

Story 2: Holy Smokes. Damn that took a big turn.

[@JohnSmith-xq1pz]

In long enough to ask am I the only one who's mind is boggled by a $20,000 coat?

[@missamanda2703]

You should see what women pay for hand bags.

[@1tiptip187]

I would be afraid to wear it. I don't understand $400 purses people I know have.

[@bethanyhutter5433]

It is a lot to spend. But whether it’s a coat or a car, the niece needs to pay. Especially since she was fully aware of the price.

[@morphinpink]

A tiny handbag can be 10k so. there's that.

[@JohnSmith-xq1pz]

@@missamanda2703 oh I've seen the pricetags lol

[@mdsx01]

Story 2: Notice how Op refered didnt really refer to her step grandson as that, instead calling him her sons son? Comes across as good salt to me, and NTA.

[@autumn557]

It’s not wrong to own a coat. It’s sold for a reason

[@davidlionheart2438]

Story 2 - "Be the bigger person" ALWAYS means "Eat the shit, smile, and be quiet". Fuck that.

[@5calambres]

He wants them to treat his son as every other grandchild? Sure thing, come back in 15 years and you get that money.

[@oakenshadow6763]

"Bio and bonus." I like that rather than step grandkids. 20:53

[@ruthbeamish8849]

The MIL sounds amazing and it's great to hear about a good example of the species ( coat story)

[@kichikitsu]

Story 1 is ESH, IDC how many people will get pissed at that b/c it's the truth. "I'm not comfy asking my husband to do that over something so frivolous" but you ARE comfortable trying to force someone to sell their car for it? And threatening their house? What the hell lmfaooo. Yes, Niece deserved consequences for acting out of malice to ruin something, but **no** a car is not a reasonable cost for a fucking coat unless said coat is priceless and cannot be replaced. Obviously, since it's identical to MIL's, it can be replaced. It is not an antique that can never be found again, it is just a rich person's coat. I find it really funny how OP only just married into that family and has already lost sense of wealth distribution and the gaps between economic status -- an upper middle class family is not near the same status as someone that can drop 40k+ on two identical coats.

[@MegaWuggles]

story 2 " be the bigger person" - said everyone who has no actual answer as to why you should put yourself out for a douche