My Sister Divorced Her Husband Because He 'Helped' Me Out... r/Relationships

[@GIChiyo]

So he slept with a younger man, and then calls him gay slurs later on when he finds out it's his son? What a class act, just wow...

[@wordforger]

On the bright side, at least OP found out BEFORE it got to the physical and emotional abuse stage. Maybe the bastard will learn his lesson about dating younger people.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@wordforger my guy they did get physical 🤣

[@darkwolfe6286]

What does that matter about him dating younger people, are you going to criticize OP for dating older men ?

[@rubymeaddle]

@@darkwolfe6286 Uh considering the fact he called OP a f*g for sleeping with another man...

[@lulul0l039]

@@darkwolfe6286 If they are young enough to be their child it is pretty damn iffy. OPs yearning for older men came from daddy issues, the father is abuser looking for people that are easier to manipulate

[@billcipher_w]

I hate how OP in story 2 doesnt realize he's a victim. Like, he feels responsible for his brother's anger and expects his mother to be angry with him as well. He puts "already going through so much" in quotes like he doesn't think he deserves his mother's emotional support.

[@wordforger]

Yeah, you can tell she was just really horrified on his behalf and sad she'd have to break him by telling him who his boyfriend turned out to be. You can just tell how much she loves him and wants his happiness by the way she drove him home and has been taking care of him.

[@coreymartin6486]

He knew that his brother didn't need to know news that would be traumatizing to hear. So why on earth did he traumatize his brother? There was NO NEED for it. He just blabbed it for self-serving purposes and thought little of how this would affect his brother for MULTIPLE reasons(including the brother's interest in who his dad was). Op already had multiple people that he told in person(his mom and therapist) and people online. Then....when the brother couldn't handle the news well within 48 hours, OP called his brother trash and gaslit him. I wouldn't blame the brother for going no contact with OP.

[@sashwing7726]

The reason why is because a lot of the damage is self done. The poster points out that they are still in love with the person he just found out is their father which is heavy enough but you would think that would be the end. To be honest the person I have the most sympathy for is the brother. Unlike the poster the brother had envisioned one day meeting his father in a positive way. This mean the person hold a least some place in his heart dropping this bomb on him most have destroyed all of those images at once. He probably view the poster as the reason why he will and can never see his father again. As for the poster the fact that he only dates older men point towards his issues than finding out that the reality and fantasy were different and yet the same is something that need therapy.

[@Kati_P]

The irony of OP not wanting to learn anything about his father when he was a child, but unwittingly learning about him in the most intimate way possible in adulthood is not lost on me. OP is taking way too much blame onto himself for this situation coming about. It was one of life's cruel twists of fate, and I hope he can work through things with the help of his counselor and move forward in a healthy way.

[@Ackalan]

If I remember correctly: It's actually quite common for parents and children who's been separated from birth or very early on to fall in love when meeting as adults, this has to do with pheromones, during early childhood the parents and children register each others pheromones into a "family" register and will (generally) not associate these with romantic love or sexual interest. However, we are very strongly attracted to people with similar pheromones to us and the closer the better. This has an evolutionary benefit of aiding positive mutation to speed up environmental adaptation. You and the one you meet have supposedly evolved very similar traits, these should be important since you've both developed these and aren't from the same group (if you were, you'd be family registered) so go and make babies to amplify these traits. It really mess with modern way of leaving each other so early and often, the amount of inbreeding within a generation or two could possibly sky rocket from all half siblings and estranged siblings that could meet unknowingly.

[@yiotatort]

@@Ackalan my husband and I were a bit concerned about this when we were younger - neither of us grew up knowing our fathers and we look a LOT alike. As in when we were younger a lot of people would first guess that he was my brother - even people I'd known for a long time would come up and say I didn't know you had a brother, and then if they met him with my mom they'd ask if this was her son. We had enough information about the stories of our conceptions that it was very unlikely they were the same person. We had decided to not have kids, but we still eventually got DNA tests. Gladly we aren't related at all.

[@GunmetalRaven]

​@@AckalanPretty sure I've read the opposite. The pheromone thing is more tied to immune systems. There were more than a few studies done, the most known being the 'tshirt smell' test. They had family members and partners wear shirts and work out. The would then have the subject smell the shirts and rate the attractiveness. Pretty consistently they chose their mate or if not in a relationship - they chose the non familial scent to be the most attractive.

[@Ackalan]

@@GunmetalRaven You didn't read the "who's been separated from birth or very early on"-part, did you?

[@GunmetalRaven]

@@Ackalan Didn't feel it was relevant, and I didn't see any citations to back the point. And to be honest in hindsight mine likely isn't either due to this being a story about a gay man being intimate with his own father and most of the research is heteronormative. My point is referenced in the study below which also names previous studies. But it's probably not honestly that relevant again as these studies are male/female focused. Major histocompatibility complex genes, symmetry, and body scent attractiveness in men and women Randy Thornhill, Steven W. Gangestad, Robert Miller, Glenn Scheyd, Julie K. McCollough, Melissa Franklin Behavioral Ecology, Volume 14, Issue 5, September 2003, Pages 668-678,

[@azraelshipman5938]

Story 2 felt like watching a train wreck. Don't want to watch but can't look away. Poor Op

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

The irony of the second post. OP wanted nothing to do with his dad but ended up connecting on a deep level.

[@thesewinggeekmiri9029]

forgive me: "connecting on a deep level" oh CHRIST 🤣

[@jazzamethyst8225]

Crying, omg

[@randomusername3873]

Oh nou😂

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Yup, some might even say a primal level.

[@francissobotka8725]

Or in a deep level

[@MusicGirl881]

Story 1: I want to take OP in my arms and give her a big hug. From the post OP has never gotten the love and support she deserves from her family and has been constantly blamed for her sister’s shortcomings. I hope she can move on away from those toxic people and I hope for the biggest karma to hit her family cause they don’t deserve her.

[@bryn1063]

I agree. The way she just insults herself for something she did while drunk is so sad. I really hope she starts going to therapy before she does something drastic.

[@bhutehole]

He could of taken a picture of her passed out outside. So im supposed to believe he just stumbled upon her clubbing? Lol those two had sex and this post is a attempt to hide that fact

[@AlphaMakuko]

@@bhutehole this...they had sex, and op are lying through her teeth

[@sashwing7726]

But it also answers the bils reaction and why it was kept secret in the first place. The mother go to reaction was to threaten the daughter with getting in trouble for the drug if she talks to the sister again.

[@sofie6524]

@@sashwing7726 this angers me because if the mum and sister belives she was drunk and high, then OP and BIL "screwing" is assault from te BIL. Either they should belive her story, or they should believe she was concious enough to consent, and i dont feel like they are acknowledging either of the options. Disgusting.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

This is why kids should know what their parents look like so crazy things like this dont happen. The whole situation is tummy turning but remember you didnt know he was your father. It is hard to blame when u didnt even know what your dad looked.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Right?! Totally the mom’s (and obviously the dad’s) fault. You HAVE to process trauma and at least discuss your kids’ parents with them. And don’t date people the exact age and gender as your children if you don’t know who they are…

[@MrJpaynebb]

What in the Jerry Springer did I just listen to?! Holy crap! Really, really hope this is troll post 🙏 Unfortunately it's seems like it's real 🤮🤮

[@supersupermao]

I guess this was the second time OPs father churned his guts

[@kristinwiebold2433]

@@MrJpaynebb what are you calling me a troll?

[@groggyowl6871]

@@sonialinsey8083 the mom tried to have a talk with her son about the bio dad multiple times but he didn't want to hear anything about him. If a person doesn't want to hear something you can't force them to listen.

[@NiMissNi]

Story 2: holy hell this story is a dumpster fire

[@catherinecox573]

It got worse the more OP said 😭

[@mindyschocolate]

Yeah, that was definitely a dumpster fire. He inherited his mom’s taste of men and his dad’s LGBTQ leanings. Unfortunate combo.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

@@mindyschocolate Nothing wrong with being LGBTQIA+, but agreed on the taste in men bit... oof. That's just an incredibly unfortunate set of circumstances. Good thing that OP found out now rather than later, though. There's no way his dad would've been able to hide his true nature forever, as he proved during that phone call. Bro may have inherited some of dad's less appealing traits too, considering how he reacted. Yeah, it was a shock, but that seems a rather unhealthy response... 😕

[@ravenfox926]

Yikes! Sounds the movie Soap Dish!

[@ravenfox926]

A therapist would make BANK on these people!

[@tamaranicholson627]

Story 2 is on the same level of "my parents roleplaying as me on the couch"

[@Me-wk3ix]

Glad you wrote this Markee has been slacking on his regular reminders of that story :-)

[@catandrobbyflores]

@@Me-wk3ix I wish I could forget that one along with cockroach wife.

[@wordforger]

Except worse because rather than being fetishized he was involved in the activity. Just... YIKES. Therapy. ALL the therapy.

[@bryn1063]

The worst part is he actually DID IT WITH HIS DAD. This seems mentally scarring. Therapy for everyone..

[@sockmonkeyjg]

Story 2: OP fell for the classic "hes good to me because I am giving him something he wants, he must be a good guy" there is always a sign of how abusive people really are

[@Luka-tb2bp]

As much as story 2 is extremely uncomfortable, I couldn't help but laugh through the pain. Kudos for OP to being a good narrator, that was a ride.

[@arckelios6950]

The father went from not wanting the baby to REAAAAAALLY wanting his baby

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@arckelios6950 least they couldn't have one together otherwise that'd be so so much more awkward.

[@amarie8769]

Same here

[@dragonsoul4529]

@@arckelios6950 I really really didn't want to to laugh but that broke me 😭. Thanks a lot 🤣

[@Rose-yt5hi]

I feel terrible for laughing so hard at OP’s trauma, but it’s the only coping mechanism I know. 🥲

[@donniejefferson9554]

The phrase "This is above Reddit's pay grade" has never applied to a situation more than story 2. The worst part is you know he was calling him daddy throughout that relationship.

[@HackiePuffs]

Story 1: OP really has some self destructive issues that I hope they get help for. Saying they should have just died in the alley is extremely concerning. Edit: and these victim blamers could go to hell holy cow..

[@vampire9545]

She's saying that because of her guilt for breaking up a marriage, her sister's marriage...because of her reckless actions.

[@squirrel670]

@@vampire9545 the marriage would've failed anyway and it's based off the husband's actions. There was no reason for any of his actions the way he did and because op is naive and trusting she believes him and what everyone tells her and puts the blame on herself.

[@toxicradiant9858]

@@squirrel670 I don't think brother in laws actions were to blame, sounds like it was going to crash and burn regardless if he told the truth or not seeing his reasoning of not telling her in the first place was her jealousy. She was so extremely jealous her sister existed alone with him /regardless he was saving her life or not/ she imploded the family and the relationship. Sister and mother sounds toxic as fuck and there's probably a good reason op is so self destructive. Looks to me sisters a golden child if her family dropped her that fast

[@WyntheRogue]

@@toxicradiant9858 Agreed, it sounds like poor OP has always been the scapegoat and BiL was in a toxic and controlling relationship with her sister. Obvi getting cheated on sucks but it isn't healthy to perceive every partner you date to be a potential cheater as relationships are often built on mutual trust and respect. If anything, OP's sister should have pursued therapy and get into a healthy mind set first before trying to pursue any relationships. Here's hoping OP gets the help she needs and the love she deserves as one does not need to be a perfect human being [despite what our empathy challenged society seems to think these days] to grasp happiness.

[@bhutehole]

Thats cause she slept with her bil. You dont actually believe he just happened to find her passed out? Why didnt he take a picture of her passed out? Why does she feel overly guilty? Her story is sus af

[@SteviiLove]

The unintentional incest is more common than you would think, but I think this was the first lgbtq+ one I am aware of. The more shocking part is how many of these couples try to make it work while trying to justify why it's not wrong after finding out.

[@AIBot929]

I do think alot of them tend to be siblings tho.... not your own parent

[@MoriKitsune]

@@AIBot929 It has to be somewhat common if there's a whole Greek myth about it (Oedipus.) Think about it though- it does make sense for incest to happen accidentally. Science says your taste in partners is inherited/influenced by your parents, and that people generally prefer partners similar to themselves. Put those two together and add in OP knowing absolutely nothing about his father and this whole situation (though awful and traumatic) makes sense. It even makes sense from the father's side if OP resembles his mom and fits the "type" his dad prefers.

[@NLGM234HI5]

@Voiced Thoughts it is actually a common phenomenon with children who find their bio parents to develop a close and possibly romantic relationship with them because the relational emotions often get mixed up and confused with the romantic

[@randomusername3873]

This is why when you find yourself in a potentially shady situation you clear the air. If you don't when the other person finds out part of the story they would be really suspicious Having said that, the fiance dodged a huge bullet. Shame they have a daughter

[@kathydurow6814]

Last story: NGL my first thought was thank goodness this was a gay relationship so no one could get pregnant. Even so, I imagine the thought was still vomit inducing. Really feel for the OP and lots of therapy is needed for him & his family. Hope he can move on & heal. A big sit on this & rotate to the trolls & haters out there.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Op: _has a way to prove she's innocent_ Sister and mom: Suddenly I am incapable of reading. Stay away or we're calling the police. So anyway the trash took itself out and Mom and Sister's lack of common sense and basic empathy was apparently a blessing in disguise because it really goes to show they'll burn bridges within _seconds_ after hearing one (1) side of a story. Wtf have Op or Bil done to make _either_ of them believe they'd do such a thing? Or are they really just that insane that the moment something doesn't go how they want it to they just go full scorched earth and start assaulting people and cut them out of their lives? Edit: "He doesn't want me to tell her he's seeing someone, this will break her." Let it break her then. She has so little trust in her own sister and husband that she honest to God believes you'd betray her like that. They aren't together anymore, and that's on her. Let her with that knowledge that she's the reason he left and started seeing someone else.

[@IamJenJen101]

Honestly I think it's why they will not do it. The sister and mom are not good people. They don't want to know they burned those bridges for no good reason. They don't have the ability to take accountability and admit when they're wrong.

[@serfanishalostangi2452]

I once took the lying detector test and I passed even though I was lying.

[@MortalOrder]

@@serfanishalostangi2452 lie detectors are notoriously inaccurate

[@undeadladybug7723]

@@serfanishalostangi2452 Yeah, it's pretty well known that those things aren't accurate.

[@RJLiams]

@@IamJenJen101 they actively hid something this important from her. Then tries to use a well known unreliable test to prove innocence. They have every right not to trust her or listen. All they had to do was be honest from the start. Instead they hid this from her and are acting surprised that it got back to her in another form.

[@an6786]

Man, no amount of therapy can help OP from Story 2. I am traumatized just by listening to it.

[@pollyandfriends]

These sick people sending DMs to this poor man asking for sexual details is so cruel & sick.

[@princesssunshine874]

story 2: omg, this is so heart breaking.... Like how horrible is it to find you are dating your father.... and now he lost his father and his lover at the same time... Seriously many ways can your heart break? I hope op knows that attraction to relatives you didn't meet til you are an adult is more common than he knows. He definitely needs therapy. This is way too much to go through on your own and anyone would be feeling so awful under the circumstances.

[@KyrieChii]

There MUST be some sort of anonymous online support group for this specific issue. It's not _common,_ but it definitely does happen (I can think of 3-4 similar incidents I've seen stories about)... But the topic of incest is SO _taboo,_ & has so much _shame_ attached to it that I can understand why one would hesitate to ever share it, even with others who understand. I'm pissed that the groups OP tried already were so full of bigoted/hateful judgment & victim blaming. _They_ should be ashamed.

[@theunknownone5663]

the therapist is gonna need a therapist.

[@ouroborousking8644]

Story 2 has the same cringe levels as the story where op walked in on mom and dad role-playing in her dress. I'm glad the op in this story has several people that support them. Not gonna lie some part of my brain was screaming in a dark closet at this scenario.

[@wordforger]

That's the sort of story that makes me glad as hell that I'm aro-ace and my bio dad has been dead since I was eight. Because OOF. That's a lot of baggage.

[@ML-yu5ms]

The dress story was creepy af and I wish it would stop using real estate in my brain.

[@Bala_Niranna]

I'm sorry the what story?

[@ouroborousking8644]

@@Bala_Niranna I'd link the video if it wouldn't take forever to find. But the short version is the teenage op walked in on her mom and dad on the couch role-playing as dad and daughter. And anyone correct me if im wrong my memory is hazy, the updates later said mom asked her to sleep with dad when she was unavailable. 🤮 Edit: thanks to @Crystal Dorvil that replied with the link. Listened to the story again and my silly brain must be doing mash ups with some other horror story. No they did not try to sleep with op. She got out of there quick and stayed away.

[@darkwolfe6286]

@@ouroborousking8644 Ok... At 1st I was going to say that while definitely cringe it was not to the same degree as Story 2, but when you added the last part about the Mom wanting the OP to sleep with the dad when she was unavailable.. yeah that bought it right up to THAT level of Cringe 🤯😱🤢

[@VidGirl88]

This whole episode is brought to us by the word of the day: THERAPY. SO much therapy.

[@hahap5411]

This 👏 is 👏 why 👏 kids 👏 need 👏 to 👏 know 👏 who 👏 their 👏 FATHERS 👏 are!!!! 👏 Mandatory 🧬 tests at birth.

[@SvarogAristaeusAllen]

If you actually listened to the story, OP said he made it clear to his mom many times to the point of throwing tantrums that he wanted to know nothing about his father.

[@flyingballerinaswirral7688]

There was a kind of similar story to story 2 that happened on the Jeremy Kyle show, two men deeply in love went on to have a DNA test and it turned out they were brothers, seeing the emotions in their reactions stuck with me, it was so raw and conflicted and horrified and sad all at the same time. There truly must be something in meeting a close relative with no idea of that connection and mistaking that spark of familiarity as romantic/sexual.

[@KyrieChii]

I don't remember the specifics, but I know that even scientific communities have suggested that sometimes _genetics_ even play into creating an attraction between people that, like you said, is misinterpreted by both parties as romantic/sexual attraction when it actually isn't, just a result of confusing bonding feelings. That's not to claim there's nothing _wrong_ with it, of course. In this case that could very well have played a part, especially since OP's taste in partners may be connected to his lack of a father figure growing up (a father he knew was a dumpster fire that never wanted him).

[@wordforger]

@@KyrieChii Yeah, I think I heard something like that. Like... You have some sort of genetic predisposition to find someone that's like you in some way, but if you grew up with those people then there's a sort of brain development that cuts them off as possible mates. So people can end up dating their secret relatives because of that genetic bonding or whatever it is when they don't grow up with the person.

[@sophiegordon4776]

It’s called genetic sexual attraction

[@Ackalan]

I'll just repost a post I just left here: If I remember correctly: It's actually quite common for parents and children who's been separated from birth or very early on to fall in love when meeting as adults, this has to do with pheromones, during early childhood the parents and children register each others pheromones into a "family" register and will (generally) not associate these with romantic love or sexual interest. However, we are very strongly attracted to people with similar pheromones to us and the closer the better. This has an evolutionary benefit of aiding positive mutation to speed up environmental adaptation. You and the one you meet have supposedly evolved very similar traits, these should be important since you've both developed these and aren't from the same group (if you were, you'd be family registered) so go and make babies to amplify these traits. It really mess with modern way of leaving each other so early and often, the amount of inbreeding within a generation or two could possibly sky rocket from all half siblings and estranged siblings that could meet unknowingly.

[@Raigius]

Honestly in the case of brothers. Since they weren't raised together it's not that bad. I mean the main issues with incest are inbreeding and potentially grooming between elder family members who are potentially influencing younger family members during formative years. But yeah if they never knew each other they couldn't have groomed each other and in a homosexual relationship they definitely can't make inbred babies together. The Father /Son situation that OP is facing however is definitely bad. But honestly I'd say it's more because of the abusive age gap dynamic rather than the biological relationship. The biological relationship merely caused the old bastard to show his true colors sooner. But I'm certain that even if they weren't related the asshole would have eventually started revealing his nature / would have given the OP an experience along the lines of what his mother faced.

[@JustSomeSophie]

Story 2 is exactly WHY YOU TELL YOUR KIDS WHO THEIR OTHER PARENT IS, even if they ran off. My youngest sibling was the result of a one night stand, my mother (a textbook narcissist who neglected and abused us, mainly me as the oldest and I parented my 4 younger siblings as a result) always made sure they knew they were a one night stand and DID NOT have a father. She cared more about men than she ever did her own kids, and was always bringing new men back home to sleep with, so it could be anyone within a 10 mile radius of where we lived at the time quite honestly. It was every other day a new man, as it was up until we found out she was pregnant. It's such a risky thing to not tell your kid about, or to not figure out for the kids sake, they could (as OP did) end up falling for a sibling, or the parent themselves, they don't know medical history which can be massively important if there is higher risks for something. There are so many reasons people need to know who their parents are and it should be a simple thing but it's made so complicated by being secretive. I understand in some cases where it makes sense to keep it quiet, but surely at some point they will find out. Better it be from their loving parent than in some other, more damaging way.

[@shaetoons3602]

Story 2: Say sike right now. WTF?!

[@melodymagickal6508]

This second story is way too flipping wild and horrifying....

[@angeldark404]

Story 2: is it just me that is a small bit thankful they couldn't create children? Other than that, man, dang. That is a head trip.

[@KyrieChii]

That's exactly what my Mom said when I told her about this story... 'Thank God OP wasn't a woman & there was no chance for a child to result from their 'relations'.

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Story 2: When "Yes daddy!" Is literal. Gaddayum!! That's both horrifying and hilarious. Poor OP, poor bastard.

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Just heard the rest of the story. Dark jokes aside, I feel real bad for OP. I hope he recovers and lives his best life.he deserves better.

[@justinbullock6042]

Lmfao

[@muhname6052]

Story1: so dude is willing to throw OPs relationship with her family under the bus because he's too pathetic to come clean? Wow what a winner. I'd tell the sister that he's dating someone. He's so unwilling to help fix the relationship OP lost but for some reason he doesn't want OP to harm his new life?

[@Livingshadow2009]

If only one parent is in your kids life... This is a perfect example why you ALWAYS tell your children who their other parent is or at least show them a picture.

[@LilySaintSin]

Exactly!

[@NLGM234HI5]

OP's mom TRIED to tell OP about his dad but he admits to never wanting to know or listen and even getting upset at his mom and brother even discussing anything about him. He never wanted to even know his name or what he looked like so we can't blame OP's mom cause she tried to the best of her abilities but you can't force someone to listen

[@ivorynk752]

I am getting the sneaking suspicion that OP has been conditioned to think it is her responsibility to put her sister above all else. She talks like she has no self worth whatsoever, and resents bil for leaving her sister when their relationship had been crashing and burning for a while.

[@scepticalhyenas5750]

11:42 _"Call it daddy issues, or-"_ alright, I will.

[@AlyssaTaylor9]

OP: My boyfriend turned into my dad. Everybody: ... ... ... ... _that's rough buddy_

[@salenebrom6476]

😂

[@Pootypatooty]

I feel like the first story, if he knew his wife and loved her and respected her, he could have face timed his wife all night, ANYTHING he just didn’t even try

[@belalugosisdead4444]

I think he might have assaulted op and is trying to paint the sister as crazy so no one questions why he didn't call her that night

[@samanthavanscoder9536]

I wouldnt have even thought to do that and my husband isnt jealous

[@garigari5245]

Yes, finally someone speaking sense! I completely agree with you. Why was BIL not face timed his wife/her sister when he found her? Rather than staying quiet until it blows over, or taking pictures like some redditors suggest. It would've soothe his pregnant wife anxiety, while maintaining communication. We live in modern time, what are advanced technology for?

[@wimsylogic65]

@@belalugosisdead4444 my thoughts too

[@laurag502]

@@belalugosisdead4444him not telling anyone that she was with him is suspect in my opinion

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

This is what happens when children have no clue who their farther is. They do this or date siblings. Or if dad has multiple affairs and kids that don’t know each other. So now we understand why the mom felt abused. Her husband wasn’t honest with himself or wanted kids so bad he married a woman.

[@randomusername3873]

Agree. How did the mother tried her best to protect the children from him if they had no idea of who he was?

[@thatlycantomboy]

@@randomusername3873 you listened to the story? Yes? so you _must_ have heard the part where OP admits he absolutely refused to learn anything about his sperm donor, yeah?

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@thatlycantomboyit should not be her choice

[@rorimorgant.williams6647]

My daughter has 2 biological half-brothers, my husband adopted her when she was 6 but the process was started shortly after we were married when she was 4. Her biological father ran when I was pregnant. His names is as common as dirt. I was always terrified that she would get involved with an older person and it would be one of her half-brothers so I told her about them from a young age and gave her the only picture I had of them. She is engaged to someone slightly younger than she is who is definitely not related.

[@kanelovec4315]

S1. Sister is way too controlling or just trying to find faults. Op was drunk/high and could have gotten hurt. Op should not have any guilt because bil was sooner or later going to leave. This was the last straw for him. I hope op finds better chosen family and friends because this was bs. Bil and op deserves better. Sister is just blaming op because sister doesn't want to admin she was the problem in the relationship.

[@KyrieChii]

I agree entirely. And this whole family dynamic _reeks_ of 'Golden child//scapegoat' syndrome. I just hope she sticks with therapy & doesn't do anything to harm herself.

[@catalinacaro8183]

Yeah and in any case, if she believed her husband slept with his sister in that condition, shouldn't she be concerned for her sis? Like we all know that sleeping with someone who is not concious is screwed but they just put the blame on her???? Just ridiculous, and bil is a great man for saving her of all the things that could had gone wrong

[@D-me-dream-smp]

Family really came across as pretty toxic and horrible to be fair and it’s sad the OP has been burdened more than she deserves.

[@roelthas]

Well, another good reason to avoid big age gaps in relationships.

[@LilySaintSin]

These situations are going to become more common with IVF, egg donation, etc.

[@belalugosisdead4444]

Story 1, for some reason I just can't trust the bil, op is 100% innocent regardless of if they slept together or not because she wasn't sober and unable to consent. Bil is the only one who actually knows what happened that night and I don't trust his reasonings for anything.

[@srg24601]

Story 2 hit me in a personal fear I have. I know who my father is, but last I bothered checking I have siblings in the double digits across the state and a few I only vaguely know about in a neighboring one. Some of them I met on one of the rare occasions he'd bother doing something with me, then after we left "his friend's" house he'd say something like "oh btw their middle kid is actually mine I was letting you meet your brother." I have no idea how many siblings I actually have so every person I date I'm afraid they're a secret half-sibling. Plus I'm panromantic so it's not even like I can cut the disaster potential in half 💀 I hope his brother gets over himself and stops blaming op

[@joecole4623]

In story 2 the therapist is the best person that they should tell, as difficult and awkward as it would be.

[@catherinecox573]

I want story two to be made up so bad wtfffffffff 😭

[@GlucoseGuy]

For story 2 - you don't know what you don't know. I can't blame either party for the situation that they got themselves into. Though the Father/BF had about the worst reaction possible, and really showed his character. Though I can totally appreciate not wanting any extra contact due to what they both now know - there are many better ways to do that than what the father did there.

[@shebakoby]

Story 1: Tell me OP is the scapegoat, Sis is the Golden Child and may be a cluster-B disaster/Narcissist and abusive on top of that, and the Mother is definitely a narcissist, without using any of those terms.

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: Genetic sexual attraction is terrifying. At least in this case OP didn't know his partner was his father. Yikes.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Story 1: OP should do the lie detector thing anyways, to clear her name. It doesn't matter if sister believes her or not, she should do it for her peace of mind and to have prove that she is innocent if sister choses to start to slander OP on social media. Sounds like BIL was already checked out of the marriage a long time ago. If everyone is moving on, OP should too. Second Story: Holly shit OP....

[@SherriLyle80s]

Right? Just because he doesn't want to be in the marriage anymore doesn't mean he shouldn't still do the lie detector.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@SherriLyle80s i would do it just to clear my name, even he doesn't want to stay married to OP's sister. I wouldn't want people to believe that i cheated with wife's sister. Even if the sister and mom doesn't believe them after the test.

[@owl7072]

@@despinasgarden.4100 that's when you do what that one Op did and just frame the results of the lie detecter on the wall so anyone who sees it will know that Op's family is so crazy that they cut her off over an assumption about something that didn't even actually happen. (For legal reasons I'm joking, but the petty part of me is like "but what if...")

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

I feel like bil should have sole custody of the child, I mean what op’s mom did was assault if she actually did physically beat op. And not only that but their mental instability sounds like they’ll screw the kid up as she grows up too

[@bryn1063]

@@Loaves_of_Cat FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT. This lady literally assualted someone, if the sister is alright with that I'm afriad what she's gonna do to her own kids behind closed doors.

[@Ospyro3em]

2 videos within 24 hours? You're spoiling us, Markee!

[@stephaniebattison2334]

Story 1, OP's sister is clearly the golden child. & OP is the family scapegoat that the blame for everything. You can tell from what she says that she has zero self esteem.

[@MCKevin289]

I’m going to hell😂First thing I thought when OP said he was not the bottom was that he became his own grandfather.

[@NanjyouRan]

Gives a new meaning to who's your daddy lol I'd definitely take a long walk off a short peir

[@justinbullock6042]

You don't know how far I scrolled down looking for dark humor haha

[@cpaul9269]

story 1 - im still confused as to how BIL found her in an alley near a club?! was he just wandering around club alleys?! lol also, it sounds like he may have assaulted her while she was passed out, hence the refusal to tale poly. but whole story is shady man

[@fiyahquacker2835]

Well they're a few hours away and op doesn't sound like she's in a position to drivr over herself and considering they were gonna swap over christmas presents it makes sense the sisters now ex-husband would drive over.

[@gcra-luma2145]

They were going to exchange gifts and she texted him her location.

[@cpaul9269]

@@gcra-luma2145 ah - thank you - my apologies for somehow missing that.

[@garigari5245]

@@HipHopLucky7 I completely agree. It is also weird how he insist for OP to keep the fact that he's dating a new girl as soon as he separates from his wife. He keeps manipulating and gaslighting both girls with PTSD reasons, with his wife being paranoid jealous woman etc etc..if he is a decent person, who truly genuinely wanted to help his SIL while being transparent to his wife, he should've video called his wife the moment he found her sister.

[@FelisTerras]

A horrendous and soulcrushing a story it is, OP is not the only one having this happen to him. It usually includes women in their twenties meeting men much their senior, who then turn out to be their father/uncle/estranged older brother/cousin, etc. Though, hats off to OP's mom, who is cearly a ten/ten of an absolute gem of a parent and human being. Her ex-husband is not even worthy of being called garbage. OP's brother is probably just hurt from realising that his father, who he built up in his mind to be this kind of superdad, is actually even more despicable than their mother told them. It will take a while, but he'll robably come around. And OP, please remove your story from TikTok. Just for safety's sake.

[@sadtitties222]

Story 2: Holy hell...this is story shares a sort of similar premise with the Japanese manga/light novel Kiss in the Dark or Kiss in the Dark with Papa. If you have ever read this you already know what I'm talking about. God, what a nightmare of a situation to be in. 😬

[@KyrieChii]

It feels like the fates were screwing with OP for sure. The odds, especially considering they had _moved to another Continent_ since the parents split (& had no idea the other had moved there as well), are _beyond_ miniscule. Of all the guys in all the (I'm assuming gay) clubs in the world, his father walked into OP's. It's insane.

[@salenebrom6476]

The more I hear about story 2 the more I think the dad knew and only freaked cause the son found out

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: OP needs to give the phone number to the father to his younger brother. the boy has had such a fantasy built up in his head fro so long that he needs that bubble burst. THEN tell him that therapy isn't for "sick people" but for those who want to vent to someone who isn't attached to them and will keep everything they say secret. Everybody needs someone to vent to. The therapist might provide some advice but really they are there as a sounding board and safe nonjudgemental zone.

[@pLanetstarBerry]

I wish both OPs all the damn therapy they need to get through this, especially Story 2, sweet baby jesus...

[@Voodoomaria]

Story #1: I don't believe her. Too many convenient excuses for not doing the right thing. It's all too contrived. And the fact BIL moved on SO QUICKLY shows he's a player.

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

Story 1: maybe I'm jumping to conclusions but honestly??? My immediate thought for why BIL didn't want to tell Op's sister is because he assaulted Op

[@spikesgirl9371]

I think you're right.

[@robertx8020]

No evidence at all so you going that way makes me think!

[@bryn1063]

With all the self-esteem issues and the fact that he wanted to keep it a secret. Kinda makes me think..

[@orbynit8614]

I was also suspicious of that tbh. You'd think if he genuinely cared about OP and felt guilty about a misunderstanding ruining her life that he'd want to do the poly with her to back her up, even if he had no desire to get back together with the sister. His reaction to every part of this feels off to me.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@robertx8020 Well if he did have sex with OP it is sexual assault by default because she was heavily intoxicated 🤷‍♀️

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 2: OOF... this is THE darkest story I've read yet, holy shit

[@salenebrom6476]

Yeah.... the mom who tried to burn her son and his partner to death in their sleep takes that cake

[@chaos4654]

Story 2: OP mentioned how bullheaded they were about avoiding any information about their father reminds me of the one OP whose daughter hated getting her picture taken. A slow build up to a messy situation, but this story is far messier.

[@neerajray3986]

Daddy issues gone right!

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

Story 2… what the HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHO’S DMING OP TRYING TO GET THE SEX INFO THAT’S SO MESSED UP

[@MrH347]

Story 1: There is a bit of missing information, lapses in judgement and some very very sus behavior. The only way that a listener could fill in the gaps is, sister is too paranoid, controlling and insecure. Brother in law should have spilled the beans immediately and if she couldn’t understand the situation as anything other than cheating. He seemed to never really care about the relationship and was relieved to be done with it. OP is in an impossible position and seems to only be the scapegoat for a failing relationship.

[@tamsel814]

Yeah, keeping this a secret was the most stupid part. Of source this was gonna come out and of course sister did not believe the truth after such a lie. I wouldn't, it sounds like a very unbelievable story. And even if I did believe the truth I would still be angry. My sister, drunk, high, and passed out, being taken in by my partner, who had lost someone to drugs, and then not be told about it. I would be furious, I would want to know if my sibling is in danger and support my partner through such an event.

[@ukchanak]

What scares me is that it's highly possible that the brother-in-law raped Opie when she was passed out on roofies. He didn't want his wife called because then she would take her sister to the hospital and get her checked. Maybe I'm just too jaded but I think that's what happened.

[@princessstarpeach9161]

Yes op need to listen to us disown your paranoid sister and toxic mom and when there find the truth do not forgive them and if that mother get her fired from her job, op better sue that narcissistic creature to oblivion and beyond

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 yeah op and bil should have just told the sister the truth. There really wasn't anything bad to hide. Minus taking drugs.

[@HeoBaby24]

Dude did you read the story and comments? It didn't matter if they told her or not If the night did happen or not they're relationship was going to blow up regardless No matter what they didn't sister wouldn't believe them

[@juanhaines7295]

@HeoBaby well at least to the rest of the family they wouldn't look so guilty.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@juanhaines7295 who knows if that'd be the case since the sister could've gotten to the family first.

[@tamsel814]

I still don't understand why Bil did not let his wife know during the night itself or the day after. Like, I just found my unconscious Sil outside a club, let's secretly take her home/take of her and hope that this stays a secret. That does not add up.

[@LilySaintSin]

The sister got what she deserved.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

The father was such a big man to yell, insult and threaten OP over the phone, all the while being the wimpy little coward that runs away when confronted with the truth. Such a failure of a human being.

[@belalugosisdead4444]

Story 2, that's why you don't run out on your kids and if you do and have absolutely no idea what they look like, don't fuck around with anyone who's younger than you 🤦‍♀️

[@mr.monotone1908]

Story 2... was a trip... hoo boy...

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

Well that was more of a bloody roller coaster than the one where ops parents were role playing with her clothes....I hope op gets thru this..... that is awful. Especially the dads reaction... though I'm not surprised

[@KyrieChii]

Oh God, I _vaguely_ recall that 'roleplaying in OP's clothes' one. I think I mentally blocked most of it out.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

@@KyrieChii I wouldn't bother to go looking for it... I'd LOVE to be able to block that crap out

[@agentzapdos4960]

S1: OP is an unreliable narrator. There's no way of knowing what happened. S2: This is entirely the mother's fault.

[@Ackalan]

On S2... Not really though, I doubt he'd recognise his father from a 20 year old photo he wouldn't have seen in years and possibly a name. This is just a freak accident.

[@geekfreak315]

Are you dumb? Like actually do you have problems analyzing the story? How do you listen to a story about a woman who was emotionally and physically abused and then blame her- instead of the fucking abuser for being an ass!? It isn't her fault, and neither is it OPs. What child wants to know about their father who abandoned them? Ops mum was just respecting his boundaries- nothing more. Yall need to stop finding ways to blame mothers for shit

[@SvarogAristaeusAllen]

She can't force him to know about his father if he didn't want to know. He openly admitted to refusing to be told.

[@aconvowithcrissee222]

Very rare for the most insane story to not be the title oh my god, I also would be so fucking terrified to even tell my therapist OMG hope OP finds peace THE UPDATE WAS SO INSANE ??? OMG

[@guntgunderson2829]

that last story, thats crazy, that sucks for this guy but there IS a silver lining, he can take comfort knowing it probably won’t happen twice

[@dianasmith8248]

Story one: yeah they either had sex or BIL raped OP. Jealousy or not you don’t hide something like that from your Spouse you call them once you get the person safe and tell them what happened. After the update makes it worse. He blamed his wife for not supporting him because his PTSD came back, which made him fall out of love with her when it came out when she was heavily pregnant. I think the BIL was cheating on the sister and was making stuff up to make himself look good.

[@garigari5245]

This 💯 true. Creepy manipulative BIL.

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 1: idk where you live but hospitals actually don't disclose why you came in. unless its a gunshot or R\busies were involved. just being drunk or high won't get them tattling to the cops. if this was america

[@jessicawolfe5861]

Dating his dad: poor guy. He had no idea and he doesn't need to beat himself up for that. And it's ok to have feelings for him, because you met him in such different circumstances. I hope he can get some perspective and know that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

[@Mkay999]

Markee shocked you didn’t lead with the sleeping w dad story!!! The way my jaw droppppedddd

[@kmbaldwin5325]

“How do I ever tell anyone about this?” YOU DON’T!!! 😂The fact that you accidentally were in a romantic relationship with your estranged father is not something you ever need to disclose to anyone, other than maybe a future spouse, preferably BEFORE the wedding.

[@TessuDraws]

"I do hope you, uh, survived this story." BARELY, JAKE. BARELY.

[@aprilfox9205]

Why didn't bil call his wife and the parents when he found her. Yeah, nope he should have called the wife. Esh

[@fiyahquacker2835]

Because the sister is abusive and wouldn't have believed him.

[@belalugosisdead4444]

@@fiyahquacker2835 or he's a rapist and is trying to gaslight everyone into thinking she's crazy so they don't catch onto him

[@wimsylogic65]

@@fiyahquacker2835 All the more reason to be opening honest up front. Cover your a**.

[@garigari5245]

1st story : I'd take OP's recount story with a grain of salt. But why do I get the feeling the BIL is a manipulative creep.. Insisting on not being transparent to his paranoid, pregnant wife. While keep on roping OP to keep his secrets one after the other. Gaslighting both girls, and trying to get away with PTSD reasons, throwing his own preggo wife under the bus by painting her as a crazy, jealous, paranoid woman who is abusive and succeed getting away with it with a new girl in arm to boot. 2nd story:... That's just... Just... Hoo boy... 🙈🙉🙊

[@softlead]

I’m only on the first story but is realllt sounds like OP isn’t getting the full story (or he rpd her)

[@hugoumero9723]

well i think Mom and Sister are to blamed and are their own faults from making situation been mess in first place

[@HeoBaby24]

Why is that any story like this it's always "he raped her"? What makes you think he raped her? Why do you come to that concussion?

[@DaniS398]

@@HeoBaby24 he randomly found her 8n an alley. She woke up in her underwear in his bed, and he didn't want to tell anyone he "saved" her. Super suspicious.

[@orchidoxs126]

@@hugoumero9723 I mean it's quite understandable for the mom and sister not to believe them. If you had to find out from someone else your husband and you sister spent the night together and never told you about it, wouldn't you be quite suspicious? She has no reason to believe either of them. Not saying shes 100% right. She isn't. But this was due to husband and op lying, imo they dug their graves when it could've been resolved. If they told her after it happened the teuth and she reacted such a way yeah, it's all on her then imo. But that's not what happened. She has no reason to trust either of them by that point in her mind. I just hope they can work something out with custody so that poor child doesn't suffer. But I really wanna know what is the time frame here, we know it's been a few months from then staying together but we don't know hiw recently the sister found out, it sounds like it's all new and fresh based in how op talks about it. And how it also sounds husband having a new gf within a few short weeks when i don't think they are really close to being actually divorced is hella sus but that's just speculation om my part.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@DaniS398 she literally explain EVERYTHING as to why and how things happened Not so suspicious anymore

[@llamabrat07]

Story 2 reminds me of a story I heard where the guy matched with his dad on Grinder. The both had profile pics without faces and chatted back & forth quite a bit. So he didn’t find out until they traded nudes that it was his dad as luckily his dad sent the pics first. & from the story this sounded like a dad who raised him, not an estranged dad. I think it was posted on f/TIFU

[@wordforger]

Oof. No wonder they got along so well.

[@randomusername3873]

2nd story, there is zero justification for not telling your children their father name. If only to prevent situations like this. The mother is absolutely to blame for this.

[@novatryxward9372]

It's almost like every time she tried to talk about the dad or show pictures he freaked out and refused to listen it's almost like the mom tried and chose to respect her son

[@randomusername3873]

Still failed to protect them then

[@megumi_stone7081]

@@randomusername3873 why are you still blaming the mom, do you just dislike single mothers and think their at fault for everything?

[@dexterdurst4705]

A whole new meaning to the phrase "Sugar Daddy" absolutely crazy

[@D-me-dream-smp]

As freaky and cringeworthy as the second story comes across it is actually a recognised psychological phenomena that occasionally occurs. When closely biologically related people are separated very early on and then meet much later in life as adults occasionally an extreme bond can quickly develop due to sharing many similar genetic characteristics/personality traits and very very occasionally this can morph into a strong attraction or desire to make the relationship more intimate. The mind’s pathways of closeness and kinship gets warped and confused with feelings of inappropriate intimacy and desire. Usually sharing a household creates a familiarity and knowledge that generally removes any sense of sexual attraction or desire.

[@chaosgoettin]

as soon as OP in the second story wrote "I am gay and into older guys." I just went: "oh no" , while Sweet home alabama was plying in my head. Oh god dang it!

[@tifadreamers]

story 1. OP needs to find someone to talk to and help her move on. what happened wasn't her fault. like what BIL said, their marriage wasn't perfect. he omitted the truth only because OP's sister has been emotionally abusive to him (punishing him for something that happened during her past relationship until he got so scared to tell her about that night sounds similar to a ptsd reaction to me). even if he didn't save her that night, their marriage will eventually blow up some day. and it might have been too late for BIL to find happiness if he had stuck in it for too long. if OP's family don't want to hear the truth, that's on them. they only doubled down cause there's no way they would admit to be the ones responsible in destroying her own marriage and would prefer OP take the fall out. I sense a bit favouritism happening here and OP seems like the black sheep of the family from this It's sad that OP seems to resent BIL when her family are to blame while BIL saved her life. she's coping through this the wrong way. I hope she gets help

[@normajeanettevaughn425]

Story 1...What was brother in law doing behind a club? Why did he get a motel room? Why did he not call family to take care of sister in law. Why hide this from wife?.Too many red flags. if its walks like a duck its a duck

[@andysixxstalkerangeloftrag5833]

Story 1, BIL should have texted your sister and told her what was going on, and invited her to help watch you. He disappeared all night with you, intoxictaed, and didnt inform her, of course anyone would have doubts and suspicion.

[@shebakoby]

I just wanna add, the worthless dad in story 2 getting literally boned (unawares) by his son, may be some weird kind of karma, as it's what he figuratively did to the mother and by extension the kids.

[@JuliaMarieH]

Story 1: are we sure BIL didn’t take advantage of OP while she was unconscious? It’s too suspicious

[@rubymeaddle]

Either way the reaction to OP is wrong

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: This is one of the many reasons why you never lie to a child about their parentage. You need to talk to your therapist, and forget about him. It doesn't matter that you are both men, it is an incestuous relationship.

[@cerassplays6196]

Story 2, imagine being a customer in that restaurant being so confused and catching this story on reddit

[@historictruecrime5119]

I feel bad for OP in story one. I would hate to have a family that would turn on me so quickly. In her purse and she was interested in is an asshole too because he just listen to the worst possible version of what didn’t happen.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1: this is such an extreme reaction. Wtf

[@Bala_Niranna]

I'm going to hell story 2 is horrifying and my literal nightmare but also fucking hilarious in a dark cosmic sort of way

[@ravenfox926]

S2: Pooor, poor OP! This is some next level mind f*ck for him. This reminds me of the movie Old Boy. Does this mean the dad will end up in a locked room, eating the same food and watching the same TV shows every day forever? Therapy, therapy, therapy!!!!

[@elsaflood6393]

My grandmother used to say, before you sleep with anyone, try to know where their ears grew from first.

[@MeddlSchamane]

Holy hell! I feel so bad for the guy that accidentally dated his father.

[@geoffn54]

Why wouldn't the guy tell his fiance what the sister had done? There was nothing to be ashamed of so why keep the sister getting trashed a secret?