My Stepmother Is Becoming Unhinged By Accusing Me Of Having An Affair With My Dad r/Relationships

[@cathyjosimonton302]

I was a stripper back in the 80’s and I did a bachelor party where they wanted me to do shit to him. I pretended and whispered in his ear, “ don’t worry, I know you don’t want this, I’ll fake it. Then we went to the room and locked the door and talked. I recognized what was happening and I didn’t want to do that to him. Men are victims too. Peer pressure

[@draconicfeline6177]

You are a gem.

[@damien678]

Such a green flag

[@sxatcychan1988]

Kudos to you for protecting that man.

[@Natalie66796]

I'm glad at least you stepped in

[@TheRisky9]

Thank you for recognizing that men too can be victims.

[@riellekoy7196]

The fact that this man allows his wife to accuse him of incest should’ve been grounds for an automatic divorce wether she’s sick or not that’s too far.

[@lucinamendez4566]

it is very and common and normal for men to choose new sexual partners over kids, logic, wives, etc.

[@Davtwan]

“bUt My VoWs!!1!” They really think a bad relationship is better than no relationship. That’s just pathetic. Honestly, I’d consider being petty and tell the mom in this story that her stuff and sentimental items were being thrown out. Considering she lives five minutes away, I’d expect fireworks and court cases.

[@sentientcardboarddumpster7900]

That behavior makes him a bad person and a bad father. Pathetic

[@littlemisstink921]

You’d think her relationship…or lack thereof…with her own children would have been a red flag.

[@seangarvey8232]

Woman is sick in the head and hes pathetic to accept that kind of disrespect to daughter and himself. Always seeing these people letting their new wives or husbands disrespect their kids. Seems crazy how often this happens.

[@Human-kb6xc]

Story 2 makes me so angry. His groomsmen set OP up to be RAPED. That is literally what it was. The fact that he feels like he cheated EVEN THOUGH HE TOLD THE WOMAN TO STOP is heartbreaking. Those "friends" basically cost him everything. I'm glad he at least is healing.

[@musamaka9848]

Seriously this pissed me off so much!!! How can someone set up a so called friend to be raped like that, especially right before their wedding. I hope he eventually tells his fiance the whole story and she convinces him to press charges and go to therapy

[@wmdkitty]

Who cares, he's a rapist himself.

[@IrelandFyre]

@@Jane_doe2400 he wouldn't have the level of response emotionally and mentally if he just had a regrettable drunken night and he wouldn't be able to do accurately describe exactly what happens internally after being sexually assaulted had he been lying. It's such a shame that so many people like you refuse to believe a man can be raped or always assume they're lying that they almost never report it and many, like OP, have the additional torment of blaming themselves for physical reactions outside of their control because people like you in society have caused even the men who were raped to believe it's cheating, even when they were forced to do something they were very clear about not wanting. It's like everyone forgets about random erections that have nothing to do with the guy wanting to have sex occur all the time and act like only women can experience orgasm during an assault purely due to the body's programed responses to certain stimuli (or that body's have also been know to do so randomly for no reason at all). As far as I'm concerned; Anyone who, without absolute concrete evidence that they are lying about it, would blame a victim of something so horrible in any way, is nearly as awful a human as the one who raped or otherwise assaulted that victim in the first place. People who would do something like that need help, and really should be absolutely disgusted by themselves

[@AKAJAYGAY]

​@@Jane_doe2400how?

[@Tyler171819]

Story 2: Not only did they set him up to be raped, they tried to phrase is like they were doing him a FAVOR. These people are predators. If they could do this to their “friend” , imagine what they could do to a woman they were interested in.

[@diamcole]

Story 2: This was an assault, OP did not consent and I hate that he thinks he cheated. Finishing does not mean you enjoyed or consented to engage, I hope he's doing well.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

It’s super sad that SA victims often view their body’s response to that stimulation as a sign that they wanted it or were partially to blame.

[@diamcole]

@@fallingawayfromthenorm It can feel like a fucking betrayal - your body responding despite you saying no.

[@babybookworm003]

Op was probably roofied as well

[@toxicginger9936]

Arousal does not equal consent. This is something that victims (and perpetrators) need to learn/accept. The body is primal, and will react accordingly to stimulation. But it is not the mind.

[@AngelDeed]

He did however chose to become blackout drunk and stayed friends with problematic people even though he "changed". He says it doesn't affect their friendship, but I'm sorry, staying friends with bad people is basically condoning their behaviour.

[@diamcole]

The idea that any commenters were accusing OP of provoking the situation makes me sick to my stomach. This woman is abusive and accusing OP's father of being attracted to his child - HOW IS THIS ANYONE'S FAULT BUT HERS?! And the father for being so spineless. Disgusting.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Yeah , they are either like the crazy 😜 step mom or are just trolls 🧌

[@demonheart13]

Honestly spineless is one thing, but I think dad is being abused and might be scared of her. She sounds like the type to claim she will off herself if he leaves her or goes near OP

[@diamcole]

@@demonheart13 He very well might be, when it crosses the line to this degree and accusations of incest and targeted attacks against your child start happening I, personally, don't have the same level of sympathy or understanding. I hope he finds a way out but I'm mostly just concerned about the 21 year old who is hearing that her dad can't be alone in the house with her and is looking at her sexually.

[@jakemarie828]

Gee. Wonder why her kids don't talk to her anymore

[@valivali8104]

​@@demonheart13 while abuse does lower victim's ability to act wisely and take responsibility, it still doesn't give them excuse to abuse or let others be abused, like he is letting his wife abuse his daughter. I hope that people who are told "I'm going to kill myself if you leave me!" can say "That’s abuse, and if you’re going to be abusive, I don’t care" and leave or "You’re serious? Because that’s serious business" and call emergency number and tell that blackmailer told that they’re going to kill themself.

[@bricksloth6920]

Story 2: sexual assault isn't cheating. Dump your groomsmen "buddies". Talk to your girlfriend and a therapist, maybe at the same time. Also: file charges against the girl who assaulted you

[@BVBloom]

Yeah the groom was sexually assualted/raped. His entire entourage was in on it, and they should ALL be brought up on charges. He didn't cheat, and I'm so horrified for him that he thinks otherwise; his friends intentionally incapacitated him and ARRANGED A SEXUAL ASSAULT. That 'bridesmaid' is a sexual PREDATOR and should be charged as such, and they should all be charged as accessories and/or whatever else can be stuck on them. Holy shit that poor guy... He HAS to tell his intended. If she's as smart as I think she is, she'll stand with him and help him through this. Edit; whoo I am so glad I was right about her. I hope OP spends the rest of his life making her happy, she's a keeper. Edit; ohh. Well. Shit. I hope at least that OP manages to keep healing...

[@dustyrose192]

Say it with me everyone "UNCONCIOUS PEOPLE DON'T WANT TEA"

[@ashbrea381]

This 100% this!

[@wmdkitty]

Men lie, though. He's claiming it wasn't consensual precisely in order to get away with cheating.

[@AusExplorer]

@@wmdkitty You're an idiot. He didn't get away with anything, he cut all those people out, that isn't the action of someone trying to get away with cheating, stop projecting.

[@heatherdickau5335]

I hope the bridesmaid who assaulted the OP sees this post. She needs to live with the guilt of what she did since she is not being held accountable.

[@WGottefried]

Yes exactly, I'm actually shocked she's apparently getting away with everything

[@heatherdickau5335]

@OriginalContent plus she is probably on social media from the night.

[@AusExplorer]

@@LostSoulchild89 Doesn't matter, because unless someone recorded the assault then there is no proof that it wasn't consensual or that it even happened at all. CCTV of two people together in a club doesn't provide any evidence at all that later on in private one of them was assaulted.

[@libertyblake873]

​@@AusExplorer wouldn't be at all surprised to hear the sleazy groomsmen did record it.

[@dragonrider1549]

@@LostSoulchild89 Problem is, finding someone the OP most likely doesn’t even know the name of would be difficult. Especially since there is no doubt they don’t even know where the women lives. It would require a ton of investigative work that could easy run cold. You can’t just run her face through some magical database and find all her info like on tv. Then if you can even get that far, if she said it was consensual, the onus of proof falls on OP, which is much harder to obtain than finding the women. While I 100% believe that she belongs in jail, it’s not as easy as people think it is. And because of that and our current rape culture, many police forces are quick to drop such cases using a myriad of different excuses. Sadly rape is one of the crimes that’s easiest to get away with.

[@WraysCustoms]

OP losing his fiance in Story #2 is sad as hell. He got assaulted because of his "friends," and then lost his fiance. That's awful. Lost everything in just a few months.

[@wmdkitty]

Fiancee dodged a bullet, if you ask me. She was about to marry a man who openly bragged about drugging and raping women.

[@SchadenFloyd]

Not to mention, his assailant was one of his wife’s friends.

[@dragonrider1549]

@@SchadenFloyd I might have heard wrong, but I think they were a group of women they didn’t know that just happened to be there for a bachelorette party. Still disgusting though.

[@onxybunny]

At least he didn't marry a woman who wouldn't have been there through better and worse. The situation sucks but that is a small, very small silver lining.

[@RMH92]

Story 2: the OP was LITERALLY sexually assaulted. And after everything he did to change his ways and become a better human...it's very sad. He DID NOT cheat, at all. He was RAPED. I hope everything goes well for him from now on. I would go to the police, even if it seems very hard to prove something like this... I hope those goomsmen have the worst karma.

[@JK-sh8rc]

One thing I didn't understand about this story is that OP sent out letters to his ADULT groomsmen's parents? Don't understand the point of that........

[@RMH92]

@@JK-sh8rc I think it was more about "contacting the dudes" without having to directly contact them, therefore, going through the parents. Like, in a way, OP could have a final say and lay all his cards in the table. Perhaps so that his truth was out and not just the "friends" version.

[@RMH92]

@@JK-sh8rc it's not out of the question that the "friends" were, perhaps, either making light of the situation or spewing some lies to their families and friends. So imo it was more OP just defending himself in a way.

[@wmdkitty]

Oh, boo hoo, a rapist got what he deserved.

[@zachsullivan7352]

​@@JK-sh8rc I kinda get it. If I cut contact with my best friend since high-school I'd want to say goodbye to his parents. I have a lot of respect for them and they were like second parents to me growing up. It might not have been a tattleing situation but a "hey me and your son are going our separate ways I just wanted to say goodbye and thanks for everything you have done for me" kind of letter...that's what I would do anyway.

[@Pingpong-fk7mv]

You know the stigma is bad when he still feels like he was in the wrong even when he is assaulted

[@Pingpong-fk7mv]

I’m super happy the fiancé was supportive that’s amazing to see

[@a.a131]

Is not only stigma, but victims mostly feel likethey should just "get away from the abusers" So it's difficult to deal with this type of trauma and in this case, being rped... It's so sad that the fiance just left him... And for him, i hope he gets better. The police areat fault tok

[@aethertoast4320]

​@Pingpong-fk7mv you obviously didn't get to the end before you put this up.

[@randomusername3873]

You'd think that being constantly accused of having sex with your own daughter would be a sign that you need to dump your spouse, but no, lol I hope loosing his daughter to keep the abusive marriage is worthy

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Some people are desperate to not be alone- a friend's mother I know is like this (she's been divorced three times). The dad needs to wake up or lose everything.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

God the second story is so infuriating. Op gets r*ped, the people he relied on helped in said r*pe and, if I'm remembering the story correctly, loses his fiancé due to the aftermath.

[@stellamccoy5259]

I don't understand why he separated from his fiance. She was very supportive of him. Trauma sucks sometimes.

[@emanx222]

@@stellamccoy5259 He explains why they separated. She broke up with him and it was entirely understandable. The shit was just too much....

[@wmdkitty]

She dodged a bullet, because OP is an admitted rapist himself.

[@emanx222]

@@LostSoulchild89 while i agree, I don't think it's fair to act like things are that simple.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: so stepmom is sexualizing a healthy relationship between op and her father? I think I know why her own children are NC with her. Story 1 update: op’s dad needs to leave. As long as he continues to enable his wife he will lose his kids.

[@aceanarchy5554]

Story 2: I've heard this story up to Update 3 and that final update hit me like a rock. OP got SA'ed and then his fiance broke up with him, I truly hope he's in therapy and will be able to find a new partner who supports him and loves him deeply. The cousin is the true MVP in this story, everyone should have someone like her.

[@promisedmysun6044]

Man, unhinged psychotic SM but a horrible, spineless father. Hope he will have a bleeding heart once (if) he realizes what he has done. Poor OP

[@SethUnwell]

I have been studying SA due to my soon to be degree and it is extremely common for a victim to finish when they get SAed, that DOESNT mean that it was consensual NOR that it was good for the victim. It is just a physical reaction to forced stimulation, just like you'll gag if you touch your uvula (dangly thing on the back of your throat). Both women AND men can be and are victims of SA, but our society doesn't take male victims as seriously as they should. Let's be real, your ex friends and that woman conspired to and r@p3d OP. He never cheated, that was r@pe.

[@beebs4283]

@@keplersdream901 Why the hell would you berate someone who has had their live *literally ruined* by being SA’ed, accused of cheating, and abandoned by almost everyone he loves? All that, and you go “well he was a misogynist so who cares?” The dude’s been through enough, this is not the time to talk about this shit.

[@beebs4283]

@@keplersdream901 nobody deserves to be SA’d. nobody. no matter what they’ve done.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@keplersdream901 glass houses bro cant wait for ya to come crying cuz someone terrible happened to ya and someone says ya deserve it and stop being a little bitch about it.

[@wmdkitty]

The only way a man can be raped is anally or orally. This guy was NOT raped. He was a willing participant and is lying in order to get away with cheating.

[@wmdkitty]

@@beebs4283 Rapists deserve it.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

Story 2 is one I've heard before, but that final update is new... I'm sorry to hear that OP's ex fiancée couldn't stick it out after all, but I'm unfortunately not surprised. You hear it a lot about SOs of assault victims.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - OP did not cheat, he was SA’d when he was barely conscious and blacking out. The friends and that bridesmaid who arranged this are all sorts of fucked the hell up. I’m sorry this happened to OP…

[@wmdkitty]

Please don't defend him. He's a rapist and he's likely lying.

[@thesamuraiman]

Damn, I thought the 2nd story was about to have a happy ending. But then there was another update. Sucks he couldn't get married to his fiance. Those people really ruined that mans life. For no reason.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 2- what the hell was wrong with those groomsmen and the women who went along with it? What they did was disgusting and a crime. Can you imagine if the genders were reversed? There would be a complete outcry

[@sciguy98]

Because most people can't even conceive that a man could be raped. "Oh, even drunk he totally wants it" or "he only said no because of his fiance, of course he actually wants it." It's disgusting

[@jimdob6528]

They were probably all drunk. A fair number of stupid situations like this are heavily influenced by alcohol/drugs.

[@Ospyro3em]

@jimdob6528 no doubt they were drunk, but doesn't excuse their actions

[@untitled-gv3qp]

It's like that one comment said. Everyone has a stigma towards men and SA. The ex friends and the woman don't understand that not every man wants s3x all the time. They couldn't see it as an assault because it was a beautiful woman and in their eyes every man lacks self control. It's even more sad that the OP believed in the misconception enough that even he saw it as cheating instead of what it was, r@p3. I have a feeling that the groomsmen might have even drugged the OP with something. I'll be honest, I don't have a lot of experience with being blackout drunk but what he described sounded more like a date r@p3 drug than being drunk. And the OP was trying to better himself so I doubt that he'd have actually drank enough to get to that point. He still saw the ordeal as cheating so it'd make sense if he didn't think to look back on how much he was actually drinking.

[@thanos8077]

It sucks that the groomsmen and the woman who assaulted op got away with what they did with no consequences

[@nyxx5357]

Story 2: OP did not cheat, he was raped. Cheating requires consent, and OP did not consent. He absolutely needs to tell his fiancee, though. I can't even imagine what must be going through her head while he's leaving her in the dark.

[@katwitanruna]

As someone who has actually been a stepmother, I used to encourage my ex to have daddy/daughter dates with his daughter whom was a senior in HS when our adult relationship began.

[@joeyjojojrshabadoo7462]

When I worked out what you meant that's cute, but you had me genuinely horrified for a few seconds ngl.

[@LeisureLizard]

Wow. Thank you for sharing this. People ignore that men can be assaulted but it needs to be talked about. I have a male friend that was raped and the way some people act with a double standard is shocking.

[@ChrisAndCats]

I think the problem here is that he went along with it when the girls turned up at the room, then voluntarily went along with them to the club. It later turned into an SA but he was voluntarily complicit in going with the girls initially. That part I'd consider cheating and is different to what came later.

[@JadedJada]

"Her own kids barely talk to her anymore" I am SHOCKED. STUNNED. FLABBERGASTED, even.

[@Nevertoleave]

Story one, the dad needs to get out. She’s either crazy or incredibly manipulative, but either way she’s abusive

[@kaykay8855]

She’s all three crazy, manipulative, and abusive. Even though he’s just as much as a victim as op and his other children, he’s an enabler. He’s enabling his wife’s behavior, allowing her to throw away all the pictures of his ex and accusing him of having a sexual relationship with his daughter. She’s going to push his other children away.

[@littlemisstink921]

I wish there was another/final update

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 1: They are all being abused and needs help to get away from this woman, I can't even call the dad spineless because he's being abused by this woman, the same way I can't call someone who gets beaten spineless. Abuse is Abuse, physical or emotional and they all need to get away from that woman.

[@randomusername3873]

Sorry but at a certain point the victim needs to realize he has an agency as well People like the father are constantly choosing the awful partner over their children, friends, family...

[@anonymousinternetperson]

for the first story, OP, if her own kids aren't talking to her anymore that's a BIG RED FLAG

[@StellaVolschenk]

Its amazing how many men can just move on from their kids when they get into a new relationship.I have personally seen this happen many times over the years.

[@low-keydrama1260]

Story 1: Awful Dad. Heck he doesn’t deserve to be a called a father. He sucks big time. Hope he’s happy. He lost OP and may lose his other kids. He made his bed let him lay in it. Story 2: Imagine viewing your friends as family, and they do that to you. Those friends took everything away from OP. Everything. They ruined OP, his relationship and his life. The only one left that OP can rely on is his cousin.

[@crowleysgirl3257]

26:31, she blames herself for encouraging you to go to the party. That's the pain in her eyes.

[@Iflie]

The groomsmen were bad enough but that bridesmaid was a rapist. He says stop and you just keep going? On a guy who is too drunk to fight back? What points did she think she was scoring?

[@JaneDoe1812]

Probably liked the power she had over someone so vulnerable.

[@Iflie]

@Bluebirbas Yeah if someone did it to her she'd cry rape, she does it to a guy and thinks he should be happy. maybe she fancied him and was jealous of the fiance.

[@Nevertoleave]

@@Iflie they didn’t know each other. It was a bridal party they met at the hotel. It’s likely she didn’t even know his name and was drunk too. Doesn’t excuse it, but considering they were all out partying they were likely all drinking.

[@Iflie]

@@Nevertoleave Oh i thought it was a brides maid, I guess it was just a really random slut then. Meets guys, does what they say sexually right away.

[@wmdkitty]

He was the only rapist there, and he's openly admitted to it.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, they set you up to be assaulted intentionally. They did this to stop the wedding and try to get the old toxic you back. You need to go to the police and report the assault, and tell your fiancee.

[@draconicfeline6177]

Shit, that's a possibility - especially if they call marriage "getting trapped."

[@Sweetfroggie]

Ive been following Markee for years now.. Thank you for brightening my day with these stories.

[@Kiwicrushes]

Absolutely! Markee definitely makes me laugh out loud at times

[@RoseRegent]

I feel so awful for op and the fiancé too as well im genuinely curious as to what happened between the two of them to cause them to split in the end. Its awful he lost so much for something that wasnt his fault.

[@a.a131]

He said at the end thathe "didn't want her to break his heart again" So im thinking she left... But idk, i just hope hegets better, he is strong but he need support andlove 😔

[@RoseRegent]

@@Jane_doe2400 i have a severe doubt do you have any proof of that or do you just assume every male victim is a liar or that men cant face such things?

[@mythogenesis4788]

@@Jane_doe2400 And here you are as the problem with society. I hope neither you nor anyone you love experiences trauma. There is something deeply wrong with you.

[@catherinedyaunka2640]

That girl is a rapist, she heard him say no. He refused and he was drunk and couldn't even hold himself up. This is absolutely gross. I hope OP finds love and heals.

[@mojavegreen2072]

1st story: about the Dad, some people just can’t stand to be alone. Dad is just as delusional

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

He is a coward.

[@whitneybennett4857]

FR. A healthy loving relationship with your child vs. A toxic relationship with some psycho who assumes you want to bang your daughter. Anyone who even needs to think of the right answer doesn't deserve ANY kind of relationship, whether it's platonic, romantic, or familial.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 2 He was assaulted. He should file a police report.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

they wont care or they'll arrest him. "women cant rape/sexually assault men" is the common mindset with most people but esp the police and court system.

[@katwitanruna]

Thank you for including the story about male SA. So many men think they’re the only one or somehow not masculine enough etcetera. We need to normalize Consent Culture as opposed to Rape Culture which is what happened to OP.

[@katherineburton1766]

The last story is heartbreaking. As for his friends' motive being to "help him", the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[@HubiKoshi]

Story 1: "Her own kids barely talk to her." Gee I wonder Why, does it maybe have something to do with her being absolutely UNHINGED? Accusing her husband of having sex with his own underage daughter? And not Reporting it or protecting the daughter if she genuinely believes it to be the case? This lady belongs in a mental hospital.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

Story 1: Her own kids don't want to talk to her crazy self anymore. Kids don't go NC for no reason. Dad needs to get out of this clearly abusive relationship, poor OP and her dad. The dad is being abused and its hard for abuse victims to break away from their abusers, as most think they deserve it and no one else will love them. I hope one day he'll get away from her. OP needs to tell her dad she loves him but she can't be around him while step monster is around. Story 2: OMG. Poor OP! His friends are horrible! They set him up to be assaulted! That's effing criminal! I'm so sad and angry for OP. The fact that they won't face consequences is not okay.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

Actually you are wrong some kids do go no contact for no reason at all

[@rebekahbell4298]

Poor second OP, his “friends” facilitated his SA

[@Whistlesonthewind]

The “age old” saying “when someone shows you who they are, believe them” is a quote from world renowned African American author and civil rights activist Maya Angelou.

[@rileygraves2748]

I recognize this story. My stepmonster was like this. She's cut my dad off from everyone, and nobody wants her. They can all die alone.

[@nerdygirl1018]

My heart breaks for OP in the second story. That wasn't cheating, that was sexual assault

[@crosslynclark8583]

Story 2: I'll be Petty as s*** each time I hear one of them going to be married I'll send there fiance's the details of what they did to him secretly.

[@TheNekoMimiGamer]

Story 2 reminded me of a couple things one was an experience with my (now estranged) aunt the other was an episode of Law & Order SVU where one of the agents straight up asks a judge "if a woman 0rg*sms during a r*p3, does that mean she really wanted it?" that statement applies to all genders, too

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: How terribly awful. I was afraid that OP and his fiance would break up. That's a lot of stress on a relationship, that's just the sad reality. I have heard so many stories of people breaking up after hardships like this even when they are able to stay together through the initial hardships, their relationship doesn't recover. Cancer, false accusations, accidents, it's just so awful.

[@animatorstanley]

Story 2 had me telling in my kitchen about SA. My neighbors probably think something bad happened...😅

[@SteviiLove]

Story 2 is really triggering because something similar happened to my fiancé almost one year into it. He to this day, 13 years later still doesn't remember much because he drank a spiked drink and blacked out, waking up on the bathroom floor with a used condom in the garbage and I wasn't at the party. I don't know if she spiked his drink or not, I think she did because she proceeded to stalk him for a long time after the fact when he made it clear he wasn't interested and wasn't happy about that night. The thing is, as a man, it never dawned on him that he was a victim. Instead, he quietly carried a mountain of guilt and shame for something he didn't have a choice in. He was at his best friend's house to drink a few beers and smoke some weed, not what happened and it's freaking disgusting that his "friends" allowed this and encouraged it even when it was obvious he wasn't in his right mind... Like I said, triggering.

[@wmdkitty]

So he got drunk, cheated, and lied to you about it. He should feel disgusting and guilty.

[@draconicfeline6177]

@@wmdkitty Shut up. You are the other side of toxic misogyny.

[@wilczus222]

Oh wow, what a fantastic partner you would be...

[@damien678]

​@@wmdkitty Serious question, do you think this could never possibly happen to a man? You clearly think it's more likely, but do you actually think this could NEVER happen to a guy?

[@fukofffukwits]

@wmdkitty wow you're a vindictive moron.

[@missesLMA]

I’m in my early 30s. My dad remarried when I was 8 and his wife did everything she could to erase my biomum and make the relationship with myself and my dad strained. I blame him though for letting her get in the way of our relationship. I finally went no contact last summer after she kept cussing me out and my dad wanted me to apologise for bringing it up.

[@wheelsndealz]

It's so weird how they all keep referring to it as sexual assault. call it was it was. it was rape. they are still buying into the narrative that men can't be raped. even while trying to help him they can't bring themselves to say it.

[@britnicox3929]

1: if Op wants to, she can send her dad a message giving him the final goodbye and then never speak to him again. He made his choice, he can live with it. None of her children speak to her, none of his will either ig 2: it’s really heartbreaking that their relationship was ruined despite everything - the fiancé did nothing wrong, but she was connected to the worst situation he’d ever experienced, and therefore seeing her is reminding him of everything even though she supported him through it all. He can’t be with the love of his life bc those disgusting pieces of shit ruined it, and nearly sent him to his death. I wish both of them the best and his former friends and that bridesmaid the worst

[@ACAB.forcutie]

The thing is, I _don't_ think this is mental illness. I think she's doing everything on purpose, which means dad won't be able to help her. 😕

[@littlemisstink921]

Very possible. My ex-stepmom was like this as well. My dad was her 5th husband and tried accusing me/framing me of a lot of shit while her own daughter was working as an “escort” and was trying to get her 19 year old daughter to join her. Luckily…my dad pulled his head out of his ass before I had to give him that ultimatum.

[@FanFicnic]

My husband also used to be a horndog. Does that mean I didn’t believe him when he told me he had been assaulted?? Absolutely not. I was the one who had to explain to him that he had been assaulted. I have never seen him look like that before. He was traumatized for months. Was visibly shaken, kept blaming himself, trauma dumped on friends when drunk. It was awful. And it wasn’t half of what that OP went through on that bachelor trip. I feel so bad for him.

[@kimasher]

Wow! As a SA survivor I was not expecting to listen to a story about something like that. Horrendous how sexual assault can be so trivialized. The woman that did that to OP should have known better. Consent works for all involved and for a woman not to know that is shocking.

[@littlegreycat]

17:03 poor guy. He was sexually assaulted. He needs counseling now. And he needs to kick them all to the curb.

[@lapsuswuolio6178]

What the hell is this second story? She r*ped him. Why does he feel like he cheated? He should file a police report and press charges.

[@DamzelNDistress]

Story 2 kinda reminds me of the guy that got his drink spiked by his so called "friend" at his wedding trying to get hin to loosen up he ended up having a severe reaction and was freaking out it was so sad and sweet seeing the bride calming him down

[@jessicawolfe5861]

My mom was jealous of me and I didn’t know why she treated me so badly. So I was surprised when I asked her as an adult. Who does that? It’s complicated because my dad was extremely abusive. It took a long time of me grieving the loss of my mom before I could come back and have a relationship with her.

[@platinum_noelle]

OP's only words to her father should be, "i miss the days when i had a father. She'd better be worth it for you", and not contact him again unless he comes back on his knees apologizing for never standing up for her against his wife, and for deliberately hurting her to appease the woman. OP2 was r*ped, full stop. He needs to talk to his fiance. If she doesn't treat this as sexual assault, then she isn't the one he should marry. Edit: thank goodness OP has a good fiance Edit2: I'm sorry OP ended up breaking things off with his fiance. I hope the best for him, and I'm glad the new start is working to help him.

[@PowerStruggle555]

OP: I love my dad Stepmom: Oh gross OP's Dad: I love my daughter OP Stepmom: You are sick.

[@risingrat5491]

And here I am siting and waiting for any consequences for that bridesmaid.. she agreed to that cr*p.

[@grizbear4115]

Story 1: Whipped parents are the worst kind...

[@ladythalia227]

My mother has accused me of a sexual relationship one of her exes as well when I was 20 and he was in his 50’s. It’s sickening and disgusting. After 30 years I couldn’t take it anymore. She’s old now but I we’re no contact - unfortunately she will likely die alone. It breaks my heart but I will no longer put up with it. To make matters worse, I’m ACE.

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 1: i wonder, did ops step mom have a dad who R her as a kid? are they in alabama and step mom think its normal to diddle your kid? something is wrong my step mom did think i was watching p0rn with her new bf. i was showing him helluva boss. theres no actual s3x in there. i told her the reason i called it adult cartoon is cause it talks about adult stuff. besides her bf is like 50. ew. he is old enough to be my actual father story 2: op you were R

[@Ajlikestraveling]

Story 1: this reminds me of my dad and his new girlfriend, she came into his life and he slowly stopped speaking to me and just focused on her and was very jealous of me… good luck OP.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

OMG, poor OP. He didn't cheat. He was r@ped!

[@buckeyenative1365]

Story 1 - the step-mom is mentally ill. My mom was the same way and none of us realized it until many, many years later. She didn't believe she was sick and refused to take her meds. Getting the mentally ill treatment in the US is difficult and they have to hurt someone before they can legally be committed for a few days in a state hospital.

[@lornafinch8855]

Story 2. Op said he kept blacking out, almost sounds like he was not just drunk but may have been roofied. With friends like his groomsmen it's a possibility

[@tailsimp]

Story 2: oh. My. God. He was SA'd. His group of "friends" set him up to be assulted. Oh my fucking god.

[@Uneclipsed]

Story 1: the comments on this one piss me off so much. A lot of handwaving her abuse as mental illness and then calling OP’s dad an enabler. Bruh. OP’s dad IS her primary victim. OP is an easy target because they’re close to their dad. Saying their relationship looks like incest is a way to make them both pull away from each other. Cutting all contact with his kids is exactly what she wants. Once she gets him alone, its going to get so much worse for him. I’m not sure why people aren’t seeing that. He’s not just enabling abuse, he’s being abused.

[@doodlethealien8889]

That poor poor man in the second story. He deserves so much better.

[@heymikey4025]

The last comment on the last story reminds me of crabs in a bucket pulling down any crab that attempts to climb out of the bucket…

[@FredRated1967]

Story 1. OP needs to backhand step-monster every time she starts her shenanigans.

[@rozbudell]

She’s accusing her husband of mole - lesting his daughter. Why is Dad accepting this?!

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 1: OP' needs to understand that she lost her father the day he got remarried. He is as good as deceased and should be treated as such. Story 2: Their attitude did not affect our friendship - until they set him up to be sxully assaulted! Great friends! Keeping friends like these are like keeping venomous animals as pets. Sooner or later their true nature will end your life.

[@JMac7395]

Story 1: I have no respect for parents that willingly sacrifice their child just to keep a partner. That allow their child to be abused verbally or physically. The desperation to have a spouse is pathetically sad on the father's end. I think OP & all of her siblings should stop communicating with him. Then maybe he'll get the picture.

[@cornbread12987]

That last story is heartbreaking

[@nemofish3504]

God the first one is so familiar to me, except it’s my BIO mom who accuses me and my dad of being close. My dad is like my best friend, I don’t know what I’d do without him. We got close after he retired from the military and I went through major depression after high school. He was the only one who actually took the time to help me. Because of that, we’ve become pretty close, and I usually go to him for everything over my mother. Sometimes when my mom gets mad, she’ll accuse my relationship with my dad as being TOO close and it’s disturbing. She’ll get jealous when we joke around because we have the same sense of humor and she doesn’t get it. I’ve called her out on it a few times and she always tried to play it off like she never said it, but I know for a fact she did because when she kept saying it, I got uncomfortable being alone with my father because she made me feel like I was doing something wrong. But I know that’s not the case. I do admit that I’m a bit codependent on my father, but it has never been anything sexual like she used to suggest. I love my mom. She went through she terrible things when she was younger that involved SA, so I understand where she’s coming from.

[@teritt]

She needs therapy, that isn’t healthy and while it’s done unknowingly what she’s doing is a form of abuse, specifically psychological abuse.

[@Queen_Of_Discord]

OP from story 2 needs to tell his fiancée the truth. The truth being that HE WAS ASSAULTED. He was far too drunk to give consent, and he even said no. Yet the braidsmaid kept going. THAT IS R@PE, NO IFS, ANDS, OR BUTS. OP needs to tell his fiancée so they can kick that braidsmaid out of their life for good.

[@saratronus]

For story 2 I'm just gonna open up a little bit OP. This isn't your fault. I know exactly how it feels to tell someone no and then to keep going without respecting the no. It is never your fault when someone ignores your no. And OP if you ever read this comment my heart goes out to you. I know how you are feeling. You are feeling so vulnerable a fawn or a bull and so angry and confused are. Maybe it's just me? Projecting but just know it isn't your fault please just know it isn't your fault Don't do What I did and blame yourself Years and Don't wait to get help. Because the people who truly care for you will understand it will be there for you

[@Chantal_P-v4x]

Story 2 - OP absolutely did not cheat. And I agree with other commenters who said the same thing. He was sexually assaulted. This story only proves again, just how much more open the conversation needs to be regarding abuse toward men, by women - and yes, this is coming from a female commenter. That woman full-on assaulted the OP - and even though his friends strongly (and sickeningly) encouraged it, she only kept it up long after he clearly said NO. No means no, and that should have been the end of it. The finance though does absolutely deserve to know what's going on. I'm with others here in that it's unfair to leave her in the dark -and likely assuming the worst about herself and their relationship - over this.

[@draconicfeline6177]

Definitely normalize "no means no, for everyone," and also "orgasm/coming does not mean consent." A body's physiological reactions are not consent. That's probably part of what's messing with him, the fact that he finished - it messes with a lot of victims: "I didn't want this, but my body responded, so I did?" Or they went along with it because they were scared/didn't resist it, which is a variation of the "flop" reaction (which serves to not antagonize the assailant.) I almost fell into that trap a while ago, actually.

[@potatoempress5731]

Story 2 : I hate that the assaulter got away scot clean. As a woman I believe that women should serve time for sexual assault too. I don't wanna bring up the "gender reverse" card but that doesn't mean it doesn't apply here >_>

[@draconicfeline6177]

yeah that absolutely applies here.

[@emilybarclay8831]

The majority of male rapists also get away Scot free. There’s something like a 1% conviction rate for rape since it’s so impossible to prove past he said she said most of the time. The average rape leaves next to no evidence. It’s an unfortunate fact that rapists almost never get punished

[@squigglytentacles409]

This is why you don't keep bad friends even if you know them for a.long time

[@cathyjosimonton302]

I’m so proud of you, you’ve done so well for yourself

[@rozbudell]

1. “I try to be nice to her…” WHY?! Why are you accommodating and placating someone who has accused you of something so disgusting? Why is Op trying to be nice to someone who is accusing her of (rhymes with) in chest?? And why is her father accepting this accusation either?! The very FIRST TIME the accusation was made the Father should’ve sought an attorney. No negotiation. Bam!!! No reconciliation even after any apology made. Why aren’t they more angry?!

[@alyzu4755]

Story 2: Those "friends" need to be charged with 2nd degree assault.

[@BlackIsALightShade]

op #2 has an amazing fiancée. she handled everything so well. edit: just heard the final update. 😢

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

Fuckin’ hell, story 2 With friends like them, who needs enemies? 🙄 absolutely disgusting and they caused so much damage to op’s life over some bullshit “Hey our friend who’s gonna get married asked us specifically to NOT get him involved with women on the bachelor party. So let’s get him black out wasted and invite women!” And he lost his family and would-be wife in the aftermath, come the fuck on, the man’s had enough pain completely out of his control. At least the final update sounds kinda positive

[@jeriko_studios]

I hate how not normalized male rape is, story 2, op was raped, he didnt cheat, he said NO, he said "i dont want to" when that happens to a girl, we call it rape, we encourge police reporting, but its so unnormalized for op that hes saying its cheating

[@sydneykloba7827]

Something abt the stepmom’s behavior in story 1 just hits me as projection. Possibly her dad was inappropriate toward her in someway, and now she can’t perceive healthy father-daughter relationships. This seems to me like a delusion that’s become completely destructive, but dad needs to accept she’s beyond fixable by love alone.

[@allytaylor7058]

Imagine bridesmaids setting the bride up to be raped by a groomsmen while she is intoxicated yeah this would be disgusting well its disgusting no matter the sex of the victim

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: Nothing can be done. Until he opens his eyes, best to leave him on his own. OP can choose to be available for him when that happens, but, from the looks of it, I don't think she will. Dad has an extremely jealous and controlling woman as a partner. He's willing to throw everything, including his ties with his family, for this unstable person. *He's will not leave until he's had enough. Or if something worse happens.* :/

[@ItsJamminJess]

Story Two - FILE CHARGES THIS IS ASSAULT

[@anniebot_45-73]

story 2: this is why we need men's rights and mental health awareness for men. dude was LITERALLY RAPED and was ***BARELY*** capable of expressing non-consent, and he thinks it's all his fault.

[@khughes9574]

"...her own kids barely talk to her anymore." Well there's a red flag.

[@khughes9574]

Also, list describing Histrionic Personality Disorder: Uncomfortable when not the center of attention. Seductive or provocative behavior. Shifting and shallow emotions. Uses appearance to draw attention. Impressionistic and vague speech. Dramatic or exaggerated emotions. Suggestible (easily influenced by others) --> Considers relationships more intimate than they are.

[@jamesrkrau2481]

I isn’t time for bachelor/bachelorette parties to end with this one last time thing.

[@YellaBellaReno]

Wow. Both of these stories are incredibly upsetting.

[@hool839]

From personal experience, OP1 just needs to cut her losses with her dad. He'll never choose his kids, he'll never choose himself. It'll always only be step-monster. The sooner OP tears herself away from that, the better for her overall health. It sucks, but there's no saving someone who doesn't want to be saved