My Truly Mortifying Self-Talk

In which John's watch goes rogue, and his friend Craig is kind, and a second shot is manifested.
Did you know that I have a new book coming out called The Anthropocene Reviewed? Preordoer a signed copy: bookshop.org/books/the-anthro...
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Book club: www.lifeslibrarybookclub.com/

[@vlogbrothers]

Hello. You probably know that I have a new book coming out, The Anthropocene Reviewed, which is my first book of nonfiction. But maybe you don't know, and you will want to preorder a signed copy wherever books are sold: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/672554/the-anthropocene-reviewed-signed-edition-by-john-green/ Also, tag yourself in the vision board. I'm SYSTEMS.

[@MrLittletube]

I did not know this. You just made my Tuesday!

[@danielliao265]

I'm "not how but why"

[@kimmykimmie]

I wanna be you got this you can get it done. But I’m really just only the words hard world.

[@loozziee]

Whaaat?!

[@caitlin329]

I think I'm also 'not how but why'

[@joshuasims5421]

Let’s take a moment to appreciate Craig. We all need friends like Craig.

[@Nicole-zy4vb]

We all need to be friends like Craig, too!

[@chrisandfluffs]

@@Nicole-zy4vb ++++++

[@palepomegranate2052]

+

[@joshuasims5421]

@@Nicole-zy4vb absolutely yes!

[@aditi_05]

+

[@MonicaFulmer44]

My favorite part of this is that your friend wasn't like "Um I think you texted me on accident lol" they took the information and pumped you up even more. That's a great best friend... turn even an embarrassing occurrence into an opportunity to hype up your bestie.

[@ThisIsReMarkable]

+ to the yeah!

[@charlottequincoses3231]

+

[@billyalarie929]

this is my favorite part by far, as well. well, that, and John's incredible laugh. always brings my spirits up by at least a few percentage points.

[@rmdodsonbills]

"I know exactly what this is." That and the fact that he was right and that he joined in with his own affirmations are the hallmarks of a true friend.

[@NickGreyden]

More proof that everyone can use a hype man!

[@EayuProuxm]

Peeps we shouldn't focus on needing a friend like Craig. We should focus on being a friend like Craig for our friends

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

Be the Craig we wish to see in the world, and manifest Craigs finding us well

[@AmaraJordanMusic]

Amen!

[@twojuiceman]

Maybe the real Craig was the friends we made along the way

[@veronikadaniel919]

+

[@alisonlaett9625]

+

[@IzHarris]

🏃and now begins my search for my very own Craig

[@darkmyro]

You can do it I believe in you!

[@victorgabrielbuena]

Johnny?

[@chealey5673]

Hey same here Wanna be co-craigs?

[@Jordan-zk2wd]

There's a website with a whole list of them!

[@lonestarr1490]

Maybe on Craigslist? I'm sorry. I'll leave.

[@MaddieMarvolo]

I will now be ending all of my positive self talk with “Good morning Hank, it’s Tuesday.”

[@charlottequincoses3231]

+

[@MrBinthestudio]

"Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday" was really the cherry on the top of that parfait. LOL

[@LiviClaire]

An excellent idea 😄

[@SamFlintHere]

+

[@katiegriffitts4311]

+ amazing

[@user-rr2ep3gt5p]

The amount of comfort this channel radiates is unreal

[@biancarodriguez7050]

I feel calm everytime I see a notification

[@Jazzagal]

+

[@clarewriterly1510]

+

[@sadiyahassan5812]

+

[@lupevinado3087]

+

[@maggieo]

Oh god, my Apple Watch. I'm in with my therapist, talking about my overwhelming feelings of loneliness, and how not being able to hug people anymore has made it worse, because I hug people to get the human contact I lack, having not had a sexual partner for almost twenty years. And then...Siri says, "Maggie, I don't know what to think about that."

[@sarahpowell6617]

As someone with a lot of mortifying and hilarious therapy stories myself, I laughed out loud at this. Like yeah Siri, I don't know what to think about that either, that's why I'm in therapy!

[@sarahannehansen4108]

I've watched the part where John starts laughing on repeat because it made me start laughing. And now I'm crying because I didn't know how much emotional tension I was carrying.

[@jeka8826]

I feel this, body and soul

[@SamiJaneRen]

Same

[@KayleyK16]

My experience too

[@francescafrancesca3554]

I'm so glad that you all are at least bit more unwinded now. I hope you are alright, and remember, you got this!

[@MalloryCorben]

My laughing brain and my crying brain are very close together.

[@hendrikusscherphof7348]

Patient: I'm afraid of embarrassing myself in front of others Therapist: Have you tried positive self-talk? Apple Watch: Hold my beer

[@GoneZombie]

"Why not both?"

[@Kazzzack]

I already wasn't interested in an apple watch, but this video has guaranteed that I will never choose to own one

[@slithra227]

I talk to myself like I'm a hard to manage toddler. "You need a nap, bud? I think we need a snack break, you haven't eaten yet today! You seem frustrated kiddo, let's go sit outside and count bugs until we feel better." 8/10 success rate

[@anniesoernym]

I should go outside and count bugs more often 😃

[@bouncingbean]

💜

[@ArtArtisian]

The count bugs one is brilliant. +

[@loveearnestly]

I love your honesty at the success rate, haha.

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

++

[@k2lar]

This afternoon my 11-year-old was really struggling with a new piece on the violin. I encouraged her to try some positive self-talk, and the whole idea made her physically cringe. So I showed her this video. And she laughed. And she went to her room, picked up her violin, and two minutes later played the song almost perfectly. Thank you.

[@MinurielLai]

+++

[@FoodieKnitter]

I got my first jab today and spent the entire 30 minute drive telling myself "You're not scared, you're excited. You're not scared, you're excited. This will be just fine. YOU ARE EXCITED." Yes, the anxiety brain and the excited brain are much too close together. But I did the thing. We've got this.

[@yuuri9064]

Eyy, nice!

[@djradost6524]

yay!

[@hollygarfield123]

i got mine too! my arm hurt a little and i needed to look away when she put the needle in

[@theocaratic]

they've actually done studies like this, where musicians who are told to redirect their performance anxiety into excitement do better on average than those who try to suppress their anxiety

[@zanderwohl]

Look up talks by Dr. Lisa Feldman Barret... she pretty much talks about this! When you are preparing for something your body responds and your brain goes "what? What is it boy? Time to be anxious? Time to be excited? What's going on?" and checks your thoughts to decide how to feel. So if you redirect your thoughts you can slowly learn to change bad-excited-nervous into good-excited-ready-to-go.

[@Issykle]

John’s gradual smile as he got to “good morning Hank it’s Tuesday” is giving me life today 😂

[@LiviClaire]

+

[@kirstenjones687]

And his genuine laugh that followed was lovely to hear

[@k1tkat-kate]

Same!

[@albasapri3265]

Totally!!

[@katharina9653]

Same!

[@LoganVanItallie]

Hey John, just so you know, you can in fact disable the watch listening to you. Firstly, press the big round button to go to the app screen. Then find your settings app and tap on it to open it. (It looks like a big grey gear) In the settings app, scroll using either the touch screen or by spinning the button to find the "Siri" menu. It should be after "Accessibility" and before "Sounds & Haptics." The first setting in the "Siri" menu should be "Listen for "Hey Siri"" and the second may be "Raise to Speak." Turning both of these options off should solve your issues with your assistant.

[@joshuasims5421]

++

[@MusicGirrl95]

+

[@zacharytoth1065]

++

[@martino.3487]

+

[@Jazzagal]

+

[@afroceltduck]

"Treat yourself like a team you're rooting for" should go on everyone's Vision Board

[@hannahpaulson4634]

I watched this video first thing this morning and I have a feeling that’s going to be my motto for the day. :)

[@alisha8201]

I am a preschool teacher and I do SO much positive self talk modeling. Anytime we are proud of something we say “good job me!” and I hype them up all the time about the smallest things. This has resulted in saying that to myself regularly, as well. And it’s usually ridiculous little things, most recently, I had moved the oven racks but didn’t know if my pans would fit in the spaces and they did and once I put my cake in the oven and it fit I said “good job me!” And then it occurred to me that I do this regularly and unironically. So don’t be afraid to appreciate yourself for the little things!! It makes a difference!

[@yuuri9064]

That's great! I high five myself sometimes :)

[@shayfromscratch]

I'm an Early Childhood Educator too, and one of the most profound moments I've ever had working with kids came when I was working in an after school program with 8- and 9-year-olds. I don't remember the details of why this was so difficult, but something about the circumstances made it difficult to estimate how much snack each child could get each day (2 cookies? 8 pieces of cheese? I sure as heck didn't know). One day I was making a joke and started it with "You know what I'm bad at?" and one of the kids responded from another table "Estimating. We know." It hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't even realize I was participating in this negative self talk, but the kids had certainly noticed. Not only had they noticed, it was happening so much that it prompted a little "We know." at the end of his statement like "You tell us all the time. This is not new information for us". I think it's important to model making mistakes and struggling in front of children because it shows them that adults are not infallible and gives you an opportunity to model problem solving skills, self-regulation, etc. There's a line, though, between "Oops, I got paint on the floor! Mistakes like this happen, though. What do you think I should use to clean this up?" and muttering to yourself "Hmm, I'm not sure. I'm so bad at estimating". Children really do see and hear it all. I'm very grateful.

[@AnnaMayKremer]

I'm sure you are having a very positive influence on your students. My parents modeled negative self-talk. I have greatly improved my self-talk through therapy, books, articles, etc and A LOT of practice. Now I often say, "Yay me!"

[@lizzalkula376]

This is really sweet and a great idea. I wanted to add something that I read fairly recently ( I'm a psych major and fell across a paper that I am _not_ going to go back to find to source ) Anyways. It mentioned that when you talk to kids and you want to encourage them, do not just say "good job!" or even "you did it!" make sure to add what was good, or _what_ they did. For instance if they found and put on their shoes "You did it! You found and put on your shoes, good job!" Also make sure that you aren't praising something they can't exactly change. If they get a good grade on a test (I know Alisha is a preschool teacher but it can still be applied) instead of saying "You did great to get that grade, you must be really smart" say something more towards "You must have worked really hard to get that grade" It's hard to change from "good job" and "you did it!!" when it's something we, ourselves, may have been raised with. But I particularly like it.

[@yuuri9064]

@@lizzalkula376 This sounds like a great idea, well worth the extra effort. It acknowledges their efforts, which gives them more autonomy than when we talk about supposed ingrained traits. People work to become skilled and achieve things, let's be sure to remember that!

[@danielyu021]

CONGRATS ON BEING VACCINATED JOHN! The light soaked days are imminent.

[@sivanrogel3524]

I'm definitely keeping the sentence "treat myself like a team I am rooting for"

[@lmsalim]

ME TOO 🤯

[@k1tkat-kate]

+

[@anniekate76]

Yes, stealing that for sure!

[@katiemiller8313]

Right?! My mind paused on that statement for too long, that I needed to rewind and rewatch the texting bit for context.

[@someone3821]

+

[@tessaviolet]

omg I relate so hard. one I've been doing a lot lately is "before you, I was for you." because I like the idea that there was a me that existed before the body-me (Tessa Violet/human/singer/other identifiers-me). and that me believed in me and roots for me. I'm never really alone in anything

[@nathaliamesquita6740]

That is so beautiful

[@ReeCallahan]

I have a very similar thing that I do, where I remember there's someone else who's gone through everything I'm going through, and has tremendous empathy for what I'm dealing with: my future self. She was where I am, and she got through to the other side. ♥️

[@AMPdphoto]

I love your music! To find you here, saying the same things I feel, on a video I keep coming back to to reiterate that everyone has these problems, even truly successful people, and that lots of artists feel the same way I do, is just. I’m so inspired to keep working. Thank you for being you!

[@enderwiggins8248]

Very relatable

[@semievilsquirrel]

That is a really good idea. I sometimes thank my past self when I find out that I did something that turns out to have set me up for future me's success (usually having forgotten I did it).

[@bitni]

I’m actually tearing up at Craig’s reply starting “I know exactly what this is and I think it’s wonderful...” Such a good friend!!

[@TacticusPrime]

I did not have "wrist watches record embarrassing moments and text them to our friends" for future dystopia Bingo.

[@vanessapierson4913]

+

[@heddam232]

Another square is when you forget to turn on the parking brake of your flying car. (Taken from one of my favorite stand-up specials)

[@shannon.j]

+

[@silverlinedheart]

+

[@bronk9247]

The real lesson is that only Craig-caliber friends should be accessible via watch

[@AlasdairGR]

As a private and naturally not trusting person, the idea of a device that records and sends my emotional and political rants to people without my knowledge sounds like my personal hell 😂😂

[@keetrandling4530]

Amen

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

Either that or "Make time-out box for internet-capable watches when not in use"

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

This is the test of how real a friendship is. The Craig benchmark.

[@robinbowman6991]

Craig's response honestly has me kind of tearing up. I imagine he knew you would be embarrassed and did everything he could to help you not feel that way, especially he knew you were struggling.

[@ERNesbitt]

John's genuine laughter is one of the most pleasantly uplifting things on the planet. The laughter at the end rivals finding the "None pizza with Left John" shirt.

[@evanthia505]

These videos are like coming home at this point

[@Mine-jm9sq]

+

[@biancarodriguez7050]

And that's a fact

[@RishmAli]

+

[@nitfens6863]

Absolutely

[@lupevinado3087]

++++++++

[@CompassRose21]

I'm not used to big positive emotions, and one time I said, "it's like a happy anxiety attack." The my best friend goes, "you mean excitement?"

[@RainaRamsay]

it me....

[@oneofthemany7322]

+

[@1206549]

+

[@gen_li7725]

+

[@peacechickification]

or i mean, to go back to when i was 18-22 and very sick with c-ptsd, i often interpreted as panic attacks as exciting things. i was taught to read the signs that read DANGER as ITLL BE FUN IF YOU JUST STOP BEING A STICK IN THE MUD. thankfully i've mostly outgrown that, but dang.

[@cibomatto47]

As a 32-year-old lady who recently ventured into counseling to tackle some mental health issues that have cropped up in the last year, I really appreciate this video. It's comforting knowing that there are other people who understand what a struggle it can be to practice self-affirmation. I'm proud of you, John!

[@oneofthemany7322]

I'm not sure anyone will get this reference, but I can't help but to hear "32-year-old lady" in Jenna Marbles' singsongy voice

[@cibomatto47]

@@oneofthemany7322 The entire internet kind of missed Jenna Marbles. (and that was also a thousand percent the reason I wrote it as I am both a 32-year-old lady and a big fan of Jenna!)

[@astralax]

As a 32-year-old gentleman on a very similar journey whose counsellor recently accused him of being 'very good at being unkind' to himself... extremely same.

[@seir323]

After John read that transcript, I literally laughed so hard, and then said "AAWW" aloud, because I know this feeling, the mortification as well as doing the positive self-talk to get yourself through. It was endearing and raw and precious, thank you for sharing John Green, and a massive hug to you and everyone else who feels the same way. YOU GOT THIS.

[@SpheresWithEars]

My oldest child is three, and one of the things I tell her when she’s frustrated is, “you’re learning.” I got a lyric to a song wrong one time and said that I was silly. Her response: “You’re not silly; you’re learning!” It was then that I learned positive self-talk isn’t just for you 💕

[@amiwatchesyt]

I read this first as if you made a song out of "you're not silly you are learning" and now I'm gonna go with that at least a hundred times a day

[@untappedinkwell]

+++

[@lmsalim]

this is the sweetest thing. and a good reminder. thank you!! i def call myself an idiot a lot like when i'm late to meet someone. yet they're always like 'no worries'. but I've been listening to Brene Brown so yesterday i said 'i'm sorry i am working on getting better at estimating travel time and I'm still not there yet' and they smiled and said 'no worries'.

[@albasapri3265]

Ugh this is so sweet! So great to get into the habit when little

[@megs.9915]

I love that kids have this ability to occasionally deliver perfect applications of the lessons we are trying to teach them!

[@Roll587]

I desperately want to see John saying "I HATE this thing" in an apple commercial now

[@billyalarie929]

OMG SAME

[@jeka8826]

Voiceover: Even people who hate our products keep using our products. We own you. Give in.

[@ueblay]

+

[@hawkin939]

Yes, it is important to have a Craig. And it's just as important to BE a Craig. You've got this, YOU CAN DO THE THING!

[@Fyrsiel]

Watch: "Sorry, I can't help you with that." John: "Yeah, it's just not able to help me." That was the absolute funniest part of this video that cracked me up.

[@angrysocks]

I feel like I haven’t seen John laugh or smile like this in a long time and it was nice of him to share this moment. How mortifying and uplifting

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Laughing through the mortification is important.

[@hollyray4884]

+

[@faithannerush]

Oh my gosh you’re right. I’m glad he was able to laugh about it. It gave me so much joy watching this :)

[@nebula1oftheseven488]

+

[@SeranoCat]

"In a HARD world, softness is a kind of HEROISM." That is the masculinity I try to establish in my life. Thanks for inspiring this in the world, John.

[@CraigCrossley]

ABSOLUTELY this. I read that and it really hit me in the feels. Then I tried to Google what that was from, and I think it is just from John's beautiful brain?! Goodness I love the vision boards so much!

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

+

[@itsnotaporpoise]

+

[@eriesara6424]

In a hard world, softness is a kind of heroism. Thanks for the reminder, John. Softly onward.

[@ammo1317]

The best part of John's accidental text is absolutely "Good morning Hank it's Tuesday." Thank you for sharing this wonderful story, may there be more Craigs.

[@itmedana]

oh this is maybe the funniest story i’ve ever heard in my entire goddamn life

[@Jazzagal]

+

[@rmdodsonbills]

I laughed and cried at the same time. The best part was watching John laugh.

[@miloshaymin]

Have you heard the one about John being a Snackman that he told in the pod? I think I never laughed so hard

[@smay745]

My tween daughter is currently in inpatient care for depression and anxiety, and we regularly tell each other on the phone (because Covid makes it so we can’t visit irl) “We do the difficult things. We don’t excel at them. We don’t like them. But we do them. Together.”

[@AndroidInHumansClothing]

these statements are so good, thanks for charing! best to you and your daughter :)

[@bouncingbean]

🥰💜

[@jeannelucas3132]

Carrie Newcomer's song "You Can Do This Hard Thing" may be just the ticket.

[@kat6613]

+

[@singerofsongs468]

sending love to you and your daughter

[@elainatruhart1103]

"It works to treat myself like a team I am rooting for" is the best post-it-note-sized piece of mental health advice I've heard in a while, Im immediately sticking this to my laptop as I finish out the semester

[@muskmelon1]

"You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.”

[@hudsonmar6204]

I think the conclusion is we all need a Craig and to be like Craig.

[@AJisreading]

“You’ve got this, you can do this!” is exactly what I needed to hear right now, so thank you for that. Also shout out to Craig for not replying with “LOL OH NO” the way all of my friends would have in that scenario.

[@franny5156]

Yep me too... nearly brought me to tears

[@alicehirsh7646]

This is the first time I've commented on a youtube video in years, but I just felt the need to thank you for sharing your self-talk out loud. I'm almost crying because I feel so seen.

[@strawberryoes]

John's laugh after reading the text is ALMOST as wholesome as a baby giggling and I love it so much.

[@VideoNozoki]

Kid: "Mo~~~m, Charlie bit my finger!" Baby: "guh hu, ha hu ha♪"

[@mattmadson5187]

Two fun facts, I was vaccinated at the same center as john green, and the other is that I hurled myself into a fit of kicking joy upon hearing this text message read in it entirety. I truly admire you John and your tool of coping are beautifully mundane, and boringly sacred.

[@vlogbrothers]

oh wow that's so cool! I had an excellent experience at that clinic and hope you did, too. boringly sacred is such a good description of what I'm after, btw! -John

[@ivytarablair]

boringly sacred is a brilliant way to say it :)

[@christinameneses]

Thank you for the gift of "beautifully mundane, and boringly sacred." I'll be chewing on that for a while.

[@anton99413]

"beautifully mundane, and boringly sacred" - matt madson That feels like a good blurb for the cover of The Anthropocene Reviewed book, which comes out on May 18th and is available for pre-order now. Just sayin' ;).

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

A Beautifully Mundane Thing A Boringly Sacred Endeavor

[@SkiingKing53]

John, it sounds like you have “Raise to Talk” enabled on your watch. You can turn that, and all other Siri functions off in the setting. Press the crown in on your watch, go to settings, then scroll down to Siri. Tap on that, and you should be able to toggle off all the ways to talk to them, and not activate it at all any more, in any way. You an always turn it back on at any time if you want, but in guessing you won’t. Best of luck!

[@rachelfountain1052]

where is the upvote button so John sees this

[@dantet3926]

+

[@newtscamander2461]

+

[@mtchllBarrett]

+

[@fyresoul87]

+

[@TO-jz6ti]

It would be so cool to live in a world where public self-talk was a normal occurrence where we could hear and see people giving themselves love, positivity, and encouragement that we'd give a best friend

[@mikecmurphy]

I want to carry a sign around that just says, "It's okay, you've got this!" and flash a thumbs up to people self-talking.

[@glennhower9265]

Omg the fact that it ended with “Good morning, Hank, it’s Tuesday.” 😆😆😆 Also, Craig is the hero we all need.

[@graytheneek]

As someone who has just recently been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, can I just say how great it is for you to be able to laugh at these embarrassing moments and embrace use of your coping skills. We got this! :^)

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

++

[@J42Michael]

This

[@theoremipsum]

This time I might be early enough. A few weeks ago I commented the following, but it was too late for the channel to notice. It was on the video about out of frame events. Petition: Hank and John can say that they are having an 'out of frame moment', as a code to say that something is up beyond the online world, but we shouldn't ask what, get overly concerned, or even spam with a lot of messages of encouragement / well wishes. It's just a normal, if somewhat positive or negative moment in life. A lot of youtubers would milk something like this for drama, but I feel like this community is definitely mature enough to handle subtlety. I got a decent amount of likes and positive reactions, but it was too many hours after the video had come out for the channel to notice.

[@vlogbrothers]

This is a great idea and I will use it when I need it. Thanks! -John

[@Xethian]

+

[@viveladecadence]

+

[@bubbleonempirestide]

This is a great idea!

[@scribbledjoy]

+

[@Julesdoesstuff]

1) this is one of my favorite vlogbrothers videos to come back to and 2) I would legitimately buy and wear a shirt with that whole text written out on it

[@MsMockingjay07]

I REALLY needed to hear this today. Where I live has gone back to Stage 1 lockdown, basically like when the pandemic first started. In March 2020, I was still employed full time and I lived with family and I had a car which meant I could have freedom in isolation. Now I live alone, am unemployed, and my car is dead. My mental state in April 2021 was much worse than it was March 2020. I struggle with mental illness, I have for years, and even just yesterday I did not know how I would physically survive the coming months. Thank you, John, for reminding me that I’ve got this. And thank you for making me laugh.

[@9_in_the_afternoon]

It's been a month, so I'd just like to remind you that you've👏 got👏 this👏. Whatever it is, you can get it done. You have absolutely got this 💪

[@drewmurphy139]

Hi its been two months, you've still got this! I hope June is treating you better.

[@gracekinne3452]

“The excited parts of my brain are very close to the nervous parts of my brain” As a person who was diagnosed with pretty severe anxiety and OCD since she was 3, I think I might have finally found a way to articulate to the humans around me why I might be panicking when I’m actually kind of excited.

[@caitlync7935]

Yes omg same this

[@hannahc7033]

I've always just thought about excitement as happy nervousness

[@_the_]

Thank you! I have some bad behaviours when I'm nervous, but they also come through when I'm exicted and this is actually a way to explain it. (Isn't there even a method that requests people turning anxiety into excitement?)

[@OctagonalGolbat]

I try to convince myself I'm excited when I'm really anxious, to turn all that energy into something less scary. It works some of the time.

[@graceleigh9850]

Nervasited!

[@NationalParksArtist]

I have a Craig. His name is Craig. I suspect it's a different Craig (If he were the same Craig, I think he'd have mentioned you at least once in the past 38 years). It's nice to have a Craig.

[@makeartsteph919]

I just sent my best friend this message “I don’t think I can ever bestow upon you a gift like the one you bestowed upon me when you sent me that first vlogbrothers video 🥺😭❤️” it was forever ago and oh how grateful I am

[@SylviaRustyFae]

So much feels on this myself as well. I was introduced to nerdfighteria by my roommates back in 2016. But rly i was introduced to the idea of being a nerdfighter by them even sooner bcuz these two twin brothers heard i, a random stranger who was friends with one of their coworkers who also happened to be nerdy and a tabletop gamer, needed a place to crash after we had first met to play some DND (Actually it was originally sposed to be Anima, an even more obscure tabletop rpg) and they let me stay there for the nite. And then the next nite. And then the followin day i woke up and shortly after they came out and explained to me that theyd talked it over and agreed that i cud stay as long as i needed; and to consider it home. I was literally staying in a shelter the nite before i met these two nerdfighters. They gave me a home and they showed me a community of some of the most uplifting positive ppl i have ever found and they even later helped me get a job at their work. And most of all, they showed me time and time again that they stand by these values; always. It was while livin with them that i first felt comfortable enuf to explore my feelings around gender (and thanks to the nerdfighter community; i wss exposed to many more ideas of gender than the two i was exposed to for most my life, and had plenty of grt folks to seek out information from) and then to come out as such. And they showed complete acceptance. Which they also showed when i finally stopped lyin to myself and admitted that i am in fact autistic and ADHD, and simply function differently cuz of that and need to listen to and take care of myself. And they also accepted without question that im polyam, and that im an age regressor! So many things that i thowt were shameful, i learned instd were nothing wrong with me and simply a part of me that is healthy and doesnt make me a bad person. I felt for the first time ever from these nerdfighter roommates of mine a true sense of unconditional love and unconditional acceptance. Something i just didnt get growin up at any point that my brain can remember. And ive probs thankd these two countless times for literally every part of that; tho recently i did send yet another thank you their way spec to say thanks for introducin me to nerdfighteria and this awesome group of ppl who truly care and want to.make the world better; while also just being hilsrious at times and nvr not enjoyable to just watch for hours on end, or listen to, Dear John & Hank is an epic podcast that nvr gets old. And then theres Hanks songs!!! Im in a place a billion times better than i ever was before nerdfighteria, and a trillion times better than where i was the day before i met a nerdfighters. Id say DFTBA to the community here but we all know that folks here are quite grt at nvr FingTBA

[@FoxDenStitches]

I just keep listening to Craig’s response over and over again and god damn he’s the best. Way to turn something that could be an awkward situation into one that is supportive and uplifting. To Craig! May we know him, and may we be him.

[@_maxgray]

My friend responded to negative self talk by saying they didn't appreciate me talking about their friend that way. Ever since, I've tried to talk to myself the way I'd talk to a friend - because they were right, I'd never dream of saying those things to a friend.

[@aprilo4447]

So I'm a teacher and we're online. If of my students was being hard on herself in the chat shop I said something like, "excuse me, but I don't allow anyone to say things like that about my students" in my 'teacher's voice. She started panicking like "no no, I want making fun of anyone ma'am, I was talking about me!" And I was like, "yes. You're my student aren't you?" We had a little laugh then. It's a good lesson for all of us, I'm glad you've got such a great friend!

[@lmsalim]

along these lines my therapist asked me to imagine that what i say to myself (the negative) i'm saying to my young niece. if anyone talked to her like that i'd punch them in the face.

[@untappedinkwell]

+++ Gold star to your friend, and to you for listening to them.

[@palepomegranate2052]

Yes!! I do this to friends of mine and always the response to "Hey, don't talk about my friend that way" is a snort and a smile! Good job taking good steps for your own mental health!

[@untappedinkwell]

@@aprilo4447 omg I love this and I am stealing it when I am next in classes with kiddos.

[@dougleacoppage1875]

I just put this in my list of quotes: "In a hard world, softness is a kind of heroism." ~John Green, 2021.4.13

[@Autogyro.001]

I know, right? I started crying on seeing it and it's now on my journal cover.

[@gen_li7725]

When I looked at the board my eyes were immediately drawn to that

[@estrellAllertse]

I love this and yo me it feels very Hufflepuffy💛 maybe cause it kind of reminds me of Lauren Fairweather's song lyrics: "with the way the world is now, kindness is an act of rebellion"

[@PhantomSavage]

Remind me never to get an apple watch... I don't do positive self talk that often except when I'm addressing an immediate crisis (and after 5 minutes of non-stop high volume swearing), but just doing simple chores around my house from cleaning dishes to cooking dinner I often rant and rave to myself incoherently like a psychotic cartoon character. I'm fairly certain if my watch texted the transcripts of those conversations with myself to friends and family they would either think I'm on meth or someone had stolen/hacked into my devices.

[@missesxgene]

JOHN! I really needed this today. Ya know. I have generalized anxiety disorder and I've done some cognitive behavioral therapy and NO ONE has ever suggested to me that you can also positively talk to yourself, not just negatively talk to yourself! Thank you for finally saying that!

[@yuvalne]

"In a hard world, softness is a kind of heroism." Damn John, you write really well. Maybe you should write a book. (Comes out May 18th and ks available for pre-order now)

[@untappedinkwell]

+++

[@alexaadams6456]

+

[@anthonybundock354]

"In a hard world, softness is a kind of heroism."

[@leomerishleyco2714]

may i ask where this quote was from?

[@michelleslee8040]

It might be from John Green? its on his vision board at 3:35 and i cant find any other references to it

[@mikecmurphy]

@@michelleslee8040 Looks like Google doesn't have any other references for it, so I think you're right.

[@justcogitating]

Can't even say how much I love this. It's awesome when someone with as many followers as you have uses the platform to promote taking care of both physical and mental health. I'm so glad you are vaccinated, and I so appreciate how open you are about your mental health struggles. It really helps to normalize mental illness, and your modeling CBT techniques helps people who might not have access to adequate therapy or care learn about strategies for coping. And yes, smart watches totally play dumb for the sake of embarrassing those who wear them.

[@fictionalhuman]

And 4, John Green has a laugh that fills me with joy and goofy grins every time I hear it. 💛 Listen to Dear Hank and John to hear more of John laughing over the years.

[@abbyryan7410]

When John was reading the text his watch sent, I was laughing, but that kind of inside laugh ya know? And then pops up “Hello Hank, it’s Tuesday” and I ACTUALLY SNORTED.

[@RainaRamsay]

SAME

[@catherinecase1142]

That was EXACTLY my experience 😂

[@meqmeow5478]

LMAOO YESSS

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

Same! Same

[@Rebecca-yb7bt]

As a therapist this is something I love to see! We're all cheering you on!

[@SunnySideup2012]

For all those who keep coming back to this video to take comfort. Also hear the self talk yourself to help you out of your current tough situation, here are the time stamps. Start and Vaccine 00:00 - 00:45 Details of the situation 00:46 Actual self talk part 02:50... Hope this helps. #selftalk #self #self_talk #teacher #applewatch #vlogbrothers #positiveselftalk #positivity #positive #video #youcandoit #vaccine #youhavegotthis #yougotit

[@elizabethacaswell]

"It works to treat myself like a team I am rooting for..." 😭🙌🏻

[@YukikoOdair]

This video just arrived as I'm procrastinating writing a job application because "i won't get it so why bother trying" "this is too difficult for me" "i don't have perfect grades they'll never want to hire me!"... So I'm gonna replace it with "this'll be a challenge but it'll be worth it" "you got this" and "good morning hank it's tuesday" !!

[@Karishma_Unspecified]

"Good morning Hank it's Tuesday!" Is the best possible self-talk you can gove yourself!! Anyway, good luck with the applications... I believe in you 🙂

[@YukikoOdair]

@@Karishma_Unspecified Thank you, kind stranger! :)

[@jeannelucas3132]

Yaassssssss

[@TheEgevejFamily]

Good luck! I’ll do exactly the same except I’m studying for my exam 🐝

[@YukikoOdair]

@@TheEgevejFamily You can do it! Good luck with your exam 💪📚

[@thegreatkraken1278]

"The excited parts of my brain are very close to the nervous part of my brain." "I'm just feeling... A lot." That's an absolute mood.

[@GalileoCap]

I do positive self-talk in public, with friends, there's no shame! We're awesome!

[@InterestWarrior48]

That self talk text made me so very happy, I smiled and giggled out loud because I relate so deeply

[@LapizDragon]

As a student with a fair amount of work to finish before the end of the semester, this is so so so appreciated.

[@tdude3212]

+++

[@dellaneykramer1089]

Yasss My exams end the 28th and I’m struggling

[@namitaa]

you got this dean

[@eshitasahu]

Yay! We heard the Yeti’s voice in this one! ♥️

[@CaptNSquared]

I love that the text randomly ends with "goodmorning Hank it's Tuesday"

[@elegantdisarray]

Awwww, John! **hugs** I feel this so much! I taught myself how to speak kinder to me a while back. I used to say "damnit (my name)!" and it would always just make me feel worse. I've found it's far better to comfort myself, by speaking to me as if I were a loved one. I call myself "babe" now when I'm stressed out or 'messing up'. "It's okay, babe. Just breathe." 💜

[@ljerry09]

I just adore that John's response to his mortification was to share the story with 3.37 million of his closest friends. It's a hilarious story and an amazing message and man am I glad to be a nerdfighter.

[@granade88]

I've been watching vlogbrothers videos for 10 years and this might be my favorite. An amazing friend, a clever coping mechanism, and my favorite part: the decision to take a moment where John embarrasses himself in front of one person and share it with millions of people.

[@LizTiddington]

Yes I love this too! I know he describes this as "mortifying" but we all know now that he's ok with what happened and appreciates the hilarity and wonderfulness of it!

[@Dappled543]

+

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

+

[@mikecmurphy]

In my experience the strongest of friendships are forged through embarrassing moments.

[@LizTiddington]

@@mikecmurphy I beleive that is a highly accurate comment!

[@abbyncisreid]

I very rarely laugh out to loud to things on the internet but this made me do exactly that thank you haha

[@elsajohnson6663]

As a therapist its so exciting to hear that you use those techniques! And that they work! I have such a hard time getting clients to buy into this or practice routinely. Thankyou!

[@TamarZiri]

This is the best piece of content anyone has ever made and officially my fav story.

[@chrissik3102]

+

[@cody7888]

Oh! I didn’t know positive self-talk is an actual thing! I do this for my anxiety!

[@EyeLean5280]

One of my favorite examples of positive self talk is in Charlotte's Web. Charlotte praises herself for her efforts while she's spinning words into her webs in an effort to save Wilbur. I've tried her technique for myself and it really works - when I remember to do it!

[@seoyeonahn6377]

this is the sweetest thing ever

[@clarastanford8754]

The "Good Morning Hank its Tuesday" really was the cherry on top XD

[@milesprower8]

Ive never felt something so relatable. I hardly feel more uncomfotable than when my self talk is expressed within earshot of other people

[@katnisspotterholmes5206]

Just going to leave this here: "ok, ok, you can still get this done, just get in the right frame of mind, lets take a breath, ok, you´ve got this, you know how to make a video, you can do it, there´s still plenty of time, you´ve got this, yeah, yeah, ok, you can do this, good morning Hank it´s Tuesday"

[@nomirrors3552]

I think this needs to become an NFT.

[@katnisspotterholmes5206]

@@nomirrors3552 What is an NFT? 🤔

[@nomirrors3552]

@@katnisspotterholmes5206 It's a new form of blockchain that's being praised for making people money. It's, IMHO, a scam and I was making a joke.

[@katnisspotterholmes5206]

@@nomirrors3552 Oh ok, thanks for explaining! :)

[@asmitheroon]

@@katnisspotterholmes5206 imagine a bitcoin except it's a picture and also somehow worse (and then stop and think about something pleasant instead because that was already more brain time than NFTs deserve)

[@jackiemartin7276]

"In a hard world, softness is a kind of heroism" - that's so beautiful! Is that a quote from a book, or a poem or something?

[@HM909]

How was this only seven months ago??? It’s already stamped itself into the folds of my brain! With self-compassion.

[@maggiebehen7755]

Every morning, I’ve decided to do the old SNL character Stuart Smalley daily affirmation of “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” And it’s weird and it’s over the top and it makes me laugh.....and it also kinda works.

[@GiddyGarlos]

"It works to treat myself like a team I am rooting for." As someone who has also gone through a lot of CBT and uses positive self talk to manage anxiety, I got shivers hearing this and had to rewind and listen to it again. Thank you for that

[@seanellis5410]

If anyone here has seen Baman and Piderman, my girlfriend and I would sing “you can do the thing” to each other to encourage each other in whatever we were doing (college work for her, grading and lesson planning for me). At least we would, until she broke up with me a couple weeks ago. Apparently we could not do the thing. And yet, I still tell myself that I can do the thing, because positive self talk works. If you haven’t seen Baman and Piderman, go freaking watch it! It’s like two hours and blissfully stupid! I love it!

[@mariacargille1396]

That's rough, I'm sorry. Thanks for keeping the story and recommendation here, though! I'll add it to my list, and it's encouraging to see people sharing good things even from relationships that work out as planned.

[@AtariaKanaArt]

LMAO I also use a huge amount of incredibly cheesy self-talk to get through my days, glad to know I'm not alone in that. Big shouts out to Craig though, we all deserve someone so supportive 😂

[@thedoctor2351]

I didn't realise my dad was eavesdropping until he started laughing out loud enough for me to hear.

[@Up10tionslay]

It's sweet your friend responded to that accidental text message with words of encouragement. You're very lucky to have people like that in your life.

[@ameliabennett334]

"Treat myself like a team I am rooting for." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Thank you for this reminder.

[@Missnext595]

While I've been subscribed to the Vlog Brothers channel for many many MANY years I haven't watch a video in many years. Today while I was scrolling through my subscription box I saw this video and randomly clicked on it. My anxiety has been going nuts lately. I'm 24 and just starting college, I'm going to quit a job I've had for almost 10 years, and I've gained more responsibility at a non profit I volunteer at.... safe to say I'm stressed. I really needed this video. The laugh in the middle of it, and the reminder of self talk. A trick my therapist always drills into me but I almost never use. Thank you John. I've really missed watching you guys and I hope I can find time in my scheduled to do it more often. :)

[@yuvalne]

I began laughing so much at the exact same moment as John, which made me laugh even more. I love this video.

[@allisonfarrell7968]

The transcripted “good morning Hank it’s Tuesday” made me cackle like an old witch in a children’s movie, thank you John!

[@alisonrist3706]

Forget about Craig for a second. This video is about John being a friend to John with his positive self-talk. Go, John!