My Wife Left After 20 Years . . .

[@Girlgonewise]

First caller she didn’t “abruptly” leave. She was having an affair…you just didn’t know. She wanted to be with her affair partner and he must have dumped her. She doesn’t really want her husband back. She just can’t find a better replacement.

[@boxingfanboy4111]

Like rich cooper said dont ever be option number 2 or 3 always be 1

[@godknowsimstupid7848]

Yeah Deloney said it but kind of glossed over that. Dude has trauma from being left amd kind of realizing she cheated but not being able to know she cheated IMO

[@jpwilliams5264]

⁠@@godknowsimstupid7848caller here. In my eyes, it was cheating, even though it didnt happen until after but I know the budding was happening prior and def added to the exit.

[@laurencethermes5433]

My very thoughts...

[@goinggaga4ladygaga]

Facts

[@distorbia20]

Honestly don’t take her back. How can you forget what she did. You can’t. Let her pursue a new life. Heal mate and let her go. Don’t let her crawl back

[@lisalister8002]

agree... and if she did it once.. well - she will do it again.

[@alandalemorris]

⁠

[@alandalemorris]

⁠

[@xxx0ox0]

Yup let her sit on her mistakes

[@ronhall5395]

I wonder if the ex didn't sabotage his new relationship. She does sound like the type that would do that. Cheaters only love you when they are playing. After her divorce it was fun until she wanted a serious relationship. Then he was either abusive or just dumped her. At her age the options are few and far between. Her ex now looks extremely attractive now.

[@sungreenshinebright8553]

My ex husband of 30 years was having an affair with a woman at work. He began sleeping out, then one day he just leave. No explanation. Several times he came to the house or try calling me. But I never looked back. It’s been 4 years now. I’m still hurting. Never take back a man/woman who leave you. If she loves you. She wouldn’t leave. Be strong enough to let go, and patient enough to wait for what you deserve. Stop entertaining this woman..go no contact.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Plus, she doesn't even have respect for herself, if she'd cheat

[@thisissparta7782]

You’re right. Never take them back My girlfriend suddenly left and did a 180. It’s been over 2.5 years and I have been celibate since. Her ghosting was the best thing that ever happened because I’m taking time to work on myself and get closer to God each day.

[@lotusqueen4233]

You are absolutely right. NEVER take them back. Wishing you happiness and joy.

[@snudder.s.m.l.5026]

Exactly... The right person would never think of treating the love of hers life like that. Bravo that you didn't go back. Big hugs from Denmark 💝🌹🥰

[@aldenasuemia]

Wow you're someone very strong

[@roathripper]

rule no 1: never reward bad behaviour

[@sandyelliott3350]

My motto

[@LisaLisaCJ]

My mother told me to never take back anyone that ever dumped me. She even said if he dumped me in high school and it was 30 years later😂😂 never take back anyone that ditched me. They will come back and do it again.

[@missl9348]

Your mother is a smart woman. It took me 40 years to learn this hard lesson.

[@thabsmkhize2481]

Mom is a legend!

[@FreeSpirit47]

This is true. I learned that lesson the hard way, yet at least I Learned it. Drawing on that experience, now, I never give second chances. Many have tried to come back. I call them boomerang guys. I quash their attempts right away. Happily, single & celibate since 2012. Discovering that I am much happier single than I ever was when I was dating or married, was so good for me. I have my trusted Doberman; he is the only man that I need.

[@izzywox8246]

They will come back and do it again. You are right

[@wolfmare50]

@@FreeSpirit47I choose alone too. It’s always been my best place.

[@jimbrown4640]

You are free now. Don’t take her back.

[@lotusqueen4233]

Gentleman and ladies, NEVER take a woman/man back if they leave you. NEVER. In reference to the video she didn't respect you when she left and she definitely won't respect you if you take her back. Move on and be grateful of the gift she gave you by leaving. You deserve to be respected and happy and that will never be with her.

[@ronhall5395]

This may be controversial, but I would not say never. I would say, since she dumped you for greener pastures, she needs to become a Different person. So in 20 yrs or so maybe you can date her if you want to. It is no longer her choice. She gave up that right. I suspect she is struggling financially and Chad pumped and dumped her. So now she needs help. I would think she must be very desperate to want to come back. Try to work it out with the new girl. Come to terms with your struggles first.

[@leehalloway8787]

I could see doing that if I was the one who really messed something up. I have only gotten dumped once though. I had joined the Navy and had no time for a relationship.

[@louisegould8840]

She left you for someone else and didn’t even have the decency to tell you for two years after you broke up. Do not take her back !

[@standground8284]

*She likely got dumped by the new guy* and now that she lonely she wants to return. *First off, why are you even communicating with an ex in the first place?* You should always remind them why the relationship ended and encourage them to keep it that way.

[@angelcare5969]

I agree, why is communicating with the ex wife? Doing that he is actually giving her hope that way. And maybe that is exactly the reason she wants to come back, cuz she thinks there is still a chance.

[@jpwilliams5264]

Kids

[@standground8284]

@@jpwilliams5264 Kids? Are you having deep meaningful conversations or short quick conversations regarding the kids?

[@liepa7768]

It sounds like she's keeping him on the hook for sex and that's probably the reason why the other girl left. Nobody wants to have a boyfriend where his ex is his best friend or an occasional sex partner

[@bffoxjr]

Always remember, if a woman abruptly leaves you, she made that decision 6 months beforehand. She probably was already seeing him 6 months before. 20 years is also the magic number in some states where the ex gets alimony for life.

[@DjOne]

I actually Looked it up. You’re spot on. 20 years and then the ex wife gets alimony for life in Ontario 🇨🇦

[@heather4089]

Many states 10 years of marriage, reason why my son divorced before getting to ten.

[@bffoxjr]

@@heather4089 very true. California is the best known one.

[@ronhall5395]

Oh she was probably stressed with the grandkids. Once they were out of the house, she was bored. Found guy, was messing around then decided the new guy was much better than her husband. Yes, the 20 yrs and out was planned. She was devious and down right evil. Now she realizes she screwed up and is lonely because Chad dumped her. I would suggest you keep her away from your life. I could be wrong, but I think the new girl was sensing his trauma. Realized it was not getting better and decided she needed to bow out Heal before trying a new relationship. Do not let your crazy ex back unless you like being hurt.

[@cowlelujah5752]

Does this apply to men?

[@Kayla-cn9ff]

Dr. John I hope you read these comments I’ve been binging your episodes I get something out of every. single. one! I am in awe of your insight, compassion and grace. Changing lives .. one caller at a time!

[@barryc9115]

Never give someone a second chance to treat you like trash or to cheat on you again. PTSD is a horrible affliction. It takes a lot of work to deal with. She has you on layaway. Your plan B. Leave her on the streets she wanted to live on.

[@sohhp79]

The first caller, please run fo your dear life...

[@chilloften]

I was dating a man and then figured out how enmeshed with the ex-wife he still was. That. Sucked. He’d said they were friends, and divorced 6-7 years prior. Soon found out she was calling & texting. Then she let him have the dog that she never would allow. Then I found his car her driveway at 2 am when he said he was visiting adult daughter. What scum, to involve another in your weird life. Go away.

[@mrsmomrach]

Love Dr. John’s advice to Jesse. This idea of writing down what I’m feeling anxious about and off-loading it onto the paper has been revolutionary for me!

[@iloveplumpgrannies174]

How does writing down the things that make you anxious work?

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

@iloveplumpgrannies174 Because when you write it down your brains processes it differently. It helps you to release the stress instead of keeping it in. And if you add dates to it, you will realise how often a thought is in your head, and after a while you'll also realise it's gone. This is important because often you think a certain thought is in your head daily for months, while in reality it's just been a few weeks - or you only have it once per so many weeks instead of daily. So it helps realising how often you really have something. If you also add what else you did these days you will be able to connect x behaviour/happening to x anxiety feeling faster.

[@Kivlor]

​@@iloveplumpgrannies174journaling is a very powerful tool to record your thoughts, reflect on them, and over time control them. If you have the discipline to do it that is. And if your spouse wont go through it looking for everything they can to use against you in the next argument they pick.

[@Nancy-uc2tu]

Never go back. She made her decision to leave. Reality has set in and she doesn’t want to be alone.

[@soul1380]

Is his new gf avoiding him because she knows the ex is still in the picture. That's a big 🚩

[@zacklynch1249]

To be fair he would have to have some sort of relationship since they have grandchildren they each see. But there contact should only be about stuff like that daughter And grandkids.

[@vinniedeluca2188]

Of course I have a happy marriage but I come home from work and I’m miserable 😂😂 the lengths people will go to paint a picture of happiness so everyone thinks they have a great life! Just be real and tell it how it is, you will feel so much better!!

[@lindawilson4625]

Jesse-Please do not allow your ex back into your life. Cutting contact would be even better. Don't date 1 on 1 for a year to recenter yourself. Group outtings yes, but not hooks up, etc. During this time think about what you want & don't want in a partner. Spot the deal breakers. Write it all down. When you start dating after a year look at that list to see if your love interest is really a good fit. If they fit, great! If they don't, move on. Best of luck to you.

[@barbaraking6578]

Excellent advice!

[@jennadasch]

If I'm not singing, I talk to myself ALL THE TIME. I appreciate hearing someone else say this lol. It's just like a processing thing that helps me to stay on task in a way sometimes. Or simply just process my feelings about things that happen. I forget really easily, so this does have an aspect of helping me.

[@brianclingenpeel5123]

"I made that weird, im sorry." 😂😂😂. I really like Dr Delony

[@JesusIsKing-109]

“Write down the anxious thought and get it out of your body” that really stuck with me. Will be trying this!

[@Kivlor]

Journaling and putting those things on paper is really powerful if you can do it. I cant, my wife goes through my journal and uses everything in it against me. But i highly recommend it if you can.

[@JennieC21]

I learned that from a therapist. I haven’t used it to get smaller gripes or stresses out for a while but I always pen the big stuff. I have written letters (unsent) to get big stuff gone too. It has worked for me in the past. Haven’t done it for a while, I should get back on it actually🤔

[@Hawkfire3937]

Fellas don’t take these women back after they blow up the relationship. Taking them back validates bad behavior

[@sarahalderman3126]

Exactly! Same for us girls as well. If they are unfaithful its best to be done.

[@lnlywriter9618]

Well I could say the same thing about the men who leave their wives for another....and the one they leave for.....ultimately leaves them! -- this very same thing happened to me and no way on God's green earth would I ever take him back!

[@TC-yx1qt]

And she'll never respect a man who takes her back after she left him and cheated on him First girl was 100% cheating, she thought the new guy was going be her new man, he didn't want her and now she wants her man back Disgusting woman

[@thomasm999]

😊

[@brown_eyed_girl]

Except that goes both ways!!

[@debbiekoenig7376]

As a woman I think you have to respect a man in order to love him.

[@LateNightRewrites]

Absolutely, for women respect is inextricably linked to both love and desire

[@LukeRev480]

For me it'd vise versa

[@judedonnelly4100]

​​@@LukeRev480 "Vice" versa..

[@sandyelliott3350]

Respect and trust

[@redpilljesus]

​@@LukeRev480 well, you're a dude, so...

[@carnivoreRon]

The first call: his ex had an affair, then left him and hit the wall so Now she's sorry years later. Why is he still talking to her??!!!???

[@flashthecorgi2053]

It doesn’t sound like she cheated inside the marriage but she left him for another guy to then pursue a relationship with him! I think if she had cheated inside the marriage he would have said that.

[@carnivoreRon]

​​@@flashthecorgi2053 Often, a woman will select a guy as a backup so when she leaves the marriage, she has him to go to. Monkey branching. She had the guy on the side for as long as a year with the emotional affair.

[@kw2075]

@@flashthecorgi2053​​⁠ He may not have known she was having an affair which would explain why she “couldn’t say” why she left and he is in the dark. You are saying she left him for another guy and pursued a relationship with this new guy…. Which means she was at least having an emotional affair which pulled her out of her marriage.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

@@carnivoreRon​​⁠​​⁠ Maybe, but again doesn’t sound like she cheated. It sounds like she found someone else and left Jesse to pursue the relationship with the new guy.

[@jt7233]

The wall remains undefeated.

[@Apgloor85]

Dellony nailed this episode

[@bestbudsourchannel4807]

Hang in there, Jenna! Prayers he grows and grows and you can bring him home soon. And, congratulations on Owen!

[@megalopolis2015]

Amen.

[@csx6910]

Just starting it; betting her life got worse, his got better, and she's looking for a golden parachute. RUN, dude!

[@KillerofGods]

Probably she was cheating and the guy dumped her, she was good enough as a side chick but not a main chick.

[@csx6910]

@@KillerofGods Precisely.

[@bernadette573]

Yes, she is tanking and misses the security. Don't take her back.

[@Dansyoung]

My comment was deleted. But she is exhibiting a pattern of behaviours of someone with a personality disorder. I am not diagnosing I am saying be aware and educate yourself on the subject and stay away.

[@SquidwardsBigFatNose]

Why talk before you watched it, do you really think you are that wise?

[@robertreynard2916]

My wife left after 27 years of marriage(affair), only to come groveling back when she realized the “grass was NOT greener”….NO WAY!

[@heather4089]

Congratulations for having self love. I left my ex after cheating on me for years, I had enough and never looked back, he contacted me after I moved out of state and I blocked him.

[@thabsmkhize2481]

TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS??? She threw 27 years away?? 😭

[@lisajeter9511]

How interesting this husband say his ex came back “Groveling” that alone jumps out to me what little respect he has for her to begin with. Which might have more to do with why she left to begin with. His wording speaks more about him than it does about her.

[@lisajeter9511]

@@thabsmkhize2481 No one throws away 27 years for No Reason!

[@lisajeter9511]

Being married to LE or First Responders is not an easy Task. These partners suffer terrible PTSD and bring it home every day. Plus the Divorce rate is way above 50% There’s only 1 person to take out their own frustration out on.

[@FTG2Eli]

Jenna's story is my story.............wow, 30 years ago I went to my OBGYN visit and was immediately air ambulanced to the nearest town that had a neonatal unit and a surgeon that specialized in complicated C-sections. It was crazy emotional for me as I was in IC and my son was the only baby in the neonatal unit w/o the O2 chamber. Congratulations Jenna!

[@sitcomchristian6886]

Wow, thank God you had an appointment that day! That sounds awful to go through.

[@KeatingChick]

I can relate to the last caller. I can't remember a time that I was in a social situation that I didn't go home and dwell on something I said or should have said differently. Or maybe should have just kept my mouth shut. Sometimes to the point of not being able to sleep.

[@irina383]

I used to be the same, i think its social anxiety. People who have social phobia or anxiety obsess about the slightest interaction with other humans. In the past year i had a huge relief from that. I do exposure therapy, talk to strangers every day. I read out loud for 15 mins/day from self-help books. It helps to be more confident while talking, because if you dont do it, talking to strangers can be excrutiating because your voice shakes or something else embarassing happens. A

[@KeatingChick]

@@irina383 I'm glad that you've had relief and are working at it. I don't have problems talking to people, including strangers. I strike up conversations with people I don't know every time I go to the store. For the most part, I'm comfortable in social situations, although I get overwhelmed with the noise level in a large crowd. I feel like my problem has gotten worse since my husband passed away in 2014. Lately when I get home and start thinking about what I wish I hadn't said, I say NO! and busy myself with something else. Usually, the thoughts will creep back in at some point though. lol

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I've had this too since my teens and I'm now 34, sometimes the dwelling went on for days. If it was something (to my idea) negative I would even avoid the person. When thinking about people from the past my head instantly starts talking about embarrassing moments with them, even when there were years of positive things too. My social anxiety and depression has been pretty bad but the last 3 years (since my transition and diagnosed as autistic) it's reduced a lot. Now I only have these intrusive negative thoughts when I have a bad or exhausting day.

[@sanniepstein4835]

Remember this: no one is thinking about you at all. Everyone is focused on their own problems, dreams, fears, hungers, etc., etc. Unless you punched someone, you're not in mind.

[@JennieC21]

I overthink absolutely everything I say, should have said, want to say… I drive my self crazy! I have terrible social phobias and am terrible at communicating 🤦🏻‍♀️😫

[@katelyn6039]

3rd caller- I do this ALL THE TIME and honestly thought I was the only one 😭 it’s definitely a stress induced response- I do it a lot more when something is going on at work or at home.

[@alittlepieceofearth]

Could it also be, for Emily, that at work she just doesn't have time to think about how she feels?

[@barbarahansen5353]

As a retired teacher, this was my first thought exactly!

[@richardbrennan2913]

Grass isn’t greener please take me back. Run Forrest run

[@marymargaretlindstrom4381]

😂😂❤😂😂

[@berenicefarrell4970]

FYi In Gaeilge(Irish language) Owen (Eoin/Eoghan in Irish) is the Irish form of the name John!!

[@KC-or1ic]

That's awesome. Hope Dr. D sees this.

[@daCubanaqt]

What about Sean? That’s John in Irish also.

[@coolaunt516]

From what I recall from my dating days, it takes about 3 or 4 months for a couple to decide if they want to continue with a relationship. If the other person pulls away, it's not working, so move on.

[@bryden5243]

Huh, i never knew this was common experience but previous to my current relationship every relationship ive been in has ended between 3 and 4 momths

[@cozymoggele]

Same!!! The ones that were just a mismatch to begin with ended after approximately 3 months

[@claremolony6050]

I disagree. It can take longer or shorter. Everyone is different

[@amandaalford1980]

Went through that with my first baby. He ended up being a c section at 34 weeks. ❤ It was scary going home without him, but I managed it. I am so thankful for the nicu nurses they are the best!

[@chrisoneal2718]

Congrats to Jenna and Baby Owen!!

[@feliciaortega8062]

The last caller could be me, thank you Kait for calling and Dr John for the help

[@rainbowkitty1996]

Anxiety is information, nothing more.

[@JennieC21]

I get anxiety very often in many everyday situations, if I listened I wouldn’t leave the house 😫

[@rainbowkitty1996]

@@JennieC21 That's why you're able to live your life. You're stronger than your anxiety.

[@thesecretlifeofwonderwoman]

I LOVE NEUROSCIENCE!! Thank you for that great tip about self talk and that book that you recommended. I've now got it in my Amazon cart. Thank you very much!! ☺️🤓☺️

[@Mr.Boring_Man]

She left him for another guy. The other guy or guys blew her back out and sent her back to the streets. The simp ex-husband has allowed her to stay in his life, which interferes in other relationships. Now, she needs a soft financial cushion again and wants him back. His life, his choice. If it were me, she would have been cut off since the divorce ESPECIALLY if no kids are involved.

[@nicodiaz627]

Her "mistake" was leaving her cushioned married life while she cheated on the side.

[@boston312]

Most American males are desperate simps. He will take her back

[@KM-nq7ez]

B I N G O

[@susi09]

Hope Jenna and the new baby are doing well now!

[@RealAnimeBadGuy]

The worst thing about having a NICU baby is the constant worrying about your baby. My youngest could have died if my wife let me know she wasn't feeling him move. When they pulled him out it was great to hear his cry but the boy had a stroke and brain bleeding before he was a minute old. It messed me up but now 5 years later he is so Super strong and smart. Attached to my hip all the time and he loves to cook. I couldn't imagine life without him but it really almost happened.

[@sitcomchristian6886]

Whew, I got emotional just reading it. I can't imagine living through that. Precious little guy.

[@Chet73]

Don’t you dare take her back!!!!

[@lisajeter9511]

Wives don’t leave for No Reason. It takes a wife a long time to reach their “Breaking point”.

[@ronhall5395]

True, unless she has a replacement ready on the side. She was hooking up publicly a week later. That is very very fast for someone with mental health issues. I think she was having an affair and decided to choose the other dude.

[@tonyascott7887]

Some wife’s do no different than men.

[@BP-xe7dw]

Wives only? Is that a privileged group? Men or women, all the same. No need to give her a pass, I wouldn't give any dudes either.

[@keylacmckemp1309]

No problem, but stay gone. It's the coming back that's really crazy.

[@anonymus830]

My mind is blown. The three conversation spoke of issues I have in my own life. Some, I didn't know were issues or I couldn't pinpoint exactly what was affecting me. You opened wounds and showed exactly where is the infection, what caused it, and how to cure it. Thank you.

[@cscors2-bi8lj]

1.) She was cheating on you with another guy 2.) He gave her attention and said all the right things without knowing her for 20 years 3.) He got what he wanted and dumped her 4.) She now left fantasy land and realizes she destroyed her family for nothing! 5.) DO NOT TAKE HER BACK

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Aw! Baby Owen! So lovely! All the best to Mom and baby! Sometimes, the very best things come in small packages! I was also a 3-pounder. Needed no extra heat or oxygen, but needed some sun-bathing and lots of formula around the clock and I was home by 5 weeks. I was 11 weeks early and big for my gestation. I will warn Jenna, we former preemies are feisty! And we eat a lot to make up for it! We are stubborn, too!

[@danielleelias685]

Wow I love how Dr. JOHN always says it like it is. He is right on with everything.

[@johnnyringo0506]

As a wife of a criminal detective, your truth resonates. I would love to hear more on this subject. We have been married 28 years and it is definitely a challanage. 20:53

[@wonder12374]

To the last caller I do the exact same thing. It helps me to understand how I am feeling and what I am going through much better, its not always negative thoughts sometimes I speak things that Im planning once again to clarify things. I dont think its odd but I do notice its been happening more with me especially since those years we all had to isolate for most of our lives a few yrs ago, so i try to be mindful of when I do it more now.

[@alexrawls7407]

Run! Somewhere in one of John’s comments sections I talked about “do not take her back even if she shows up to your door n@ked in a snowstorm.” And that applies here. She learned how to leave you when she left the first time. Next time will be easier. No friends, no lover will ever drag you before a Judge in a courtroom. You are NOT friends nor will you ever be even after forgiveness. Anxiety is appropriate, you should Feel anxiety sometimes. For the next girl you date, do the notebook thing

[@Daigb]

Dr John was on point on this show !!!! 🥰

[@daniellecheyennepalmer4156]

To the caller who talks to herself: thank you, THANK YOU for your call! I do this all the time and always felt like there was something wrong with me, but I didn't have the words to ask about it

[@coureenlawrence4915]

2nd caller, you know exactly why you are not happy at home. You are carrying your husband financially, and you are not feeling it.

[@randybobandy9828]

Yes only the husband is ok with carrying the wife financially... But it's never ok for the wife, we wouldn't want doh le standards at all.

[@roxannebush8410]

Understand my grandson was 2 months premature we call him our miracle baby. He's 22 now so he's not a baby anymore. Has heart problems just need to keep an eye on him. He was able to fit him on the palm of our hand he was so small.

[@WestZ]

Wow, today is Jan 22, right as Kelly called it! Good job!

[@JaZmine147]

She knows the upload schedule. She's not a witch.

[@sonyaakhanna]

😅​@@JaZmine147

[@magpiegirl3783]

THANK YOU John. The first and last calls were so me! John’s analogy about anxiety/weight lifting was powerful. As for the last caller … ME TOO. Thanks for calling to discuss this. And it’s ruminations on my perceived failure in interactions with people. I will also “prepare” myself by running through scenarios with people I’m having difficulties with. I will sometimes “restate” what I should have said to them, or explain myself to the air in ways I cannot explain myself to a real person. An introvert, lacking assertiveness and constantly questioning my worth. This call was a lifeline for me.

[@dorthybradshaw3387]

Thanks for shout out to us NICU nurses🥰

[@taganriley4780]

I have a Micropremie named Owen! He was born at 28weeks and we stayed in a NICU for two months! Congrats on your little one! It’s a journey for sure!

[@longlegs3491]

after 23 1/2 yrs of marriage I left my ex. I knew b/f for 5 years and he was in an unhappy marriage as well. we had one HUGE fallout half way between our relationship that we both were "online" cheating with someone else. When we finally left our spouses it was wonderful for 12 years til his passing. I realize he was the love of my life and so totally different than my ex husband.. Its been 9 years since his passing and i still grieve for him. So for the woman who left........ and to the husband thats left behind.........go with your heart. I did and i wont look back ever

[@Debora.14]

Man, that last caller is me...that hit different!

[@jennifercottrell2588]

Love that you interviewed your amazing wife on 500th episode! So special!

[@tiffany-sheriwageman.3702]

I'm like that 😂 last callers 😂.

[@Daniellapalo]

Philippians 4:6 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Anxiety should show us our lack of trust in the Lord, and also our lack of obedience.

[@LukeRev480]

Don't use a bible to slap other people, for some anxiety is an illness that is cause by this rotten world nothing to do with lack of trust

[@Daniellapalo]

@@LukeRev480 The only cure for this rotten world, is God.

[@FrankieFresh]

Dr. D is awesome.

[@jdryan6860]

Love the new intro!!!

[@TheEblenRealestateTeam]

Hey! ❤❤❤ praying for a speedy recovery for her baby ❤❤❤

[@corrieworou4813]

My grandpa took my grandma back after an affair and their relationship is better than ever, she loves him more now than she ever did before that. I think it depends on the person and situation. I also think menopause can make woman do crazy things, but i dont know, ive never cheated.

[@curious6379]

I agree with you that there are exceptions to the rule. It depends on their motivations for the separation and reconciliation. If it's based on love and respect, it can be saved.

[@randybobandy9828]

Menopause is absolutely no excuse, your grandma is a horrible person.

[@ronhall5395]

Depends on why they left. Sometimes they leave because they are overwhelmed. They can't breath. They just need to go off and be alone and sort out their mental issues. I would forgive that Leaving to go full fill her sexual fantasies? Not a chance would I take her back.

[@chrislim7976]

She wants you back because her exit plan didn't work out. Respect yourself.

[@tomnohmy1273]

Welcome back Big J

[@yiseveryusernametakn]

That cheer at like 1:20 when listening at 2x speed and walking through forest was absolutely jarring!

[@kita3256]

The new intro!! 😮

[@AlexaHopkins]

I LOVE the new intro!!!! So sick!!!

[@eatnplaytoday]

I feel like he’s holding back some details. Relationships take two to tango. You cannot be with someone for 20-25 years and not know exactly why she left 😅. It sounds like she was lonely considering she went and cheated. Cheating is WRONG but psychologically, there’s alreadys a reason why it starts. She wasn’t feeling emotionally connected to him for some reason. And now his new girl is disconnecting herself from him. He mentioned briefly she’s going through stuff. It just sounds like he’s not very supportive when his loved one is in difficult situation because he’s already emotionally drained from his work. This situation is going to repeat itself with any woman unless he deals with this bad work life issue

[@eatnplaytoday]

Throw in the ex and any new woman would run away as well. I’d say if he still loves his ex, just get back with her. She already learned her lesson, leaving him was not the right choice and a mistake and she admitted herself. Forgiveness is okay, you know? No man a perfect, we all made mistakes. A spouse that accepts our mistakes and forgives is a real keeper and she’ll be grateful for you for sure. If she does it again and leaves even after he takes her back, cut all ties, no communication.

[@niram4107]

I actually think that his ex-wife has issues that she hasn't dealt with. She was a single Mum before marrying this man, has a daughter that had issues and used drugs, that daughter obviously had multiple kids very young and was placing the kids in a dangerous situation. I believe the ex-wife is a big contributor to the breakdown of the marriage. His current girlfriend has said that his ex-wife is using him and she is not happy that he has not severed ties with the ex. I think that he feels that he is still responsible for keeping her safe. The fact that he is a police officer would bring out that natural protective nature. Thus, which girlfriend wouldn't begin to question her relationship and distance herself if he cannot sever ties with the ex and make her the priority.

[@jeromehenry4484]

@@niram4107 100% correct! It's impossible to compete with a ghost, so why should new GF even try? Also sounds like these parties are likely to be in their 50's (possibly early 60's). New GF just not willing to put up with all this past drama seeping into present. New GF is smart to move on & find someone else not stuck in the past.

[@heidiainsworth4348]

Agreed!

[@heather4089]

@@eatnplaytodaylol, nah, I wouldn’t get back someone that cheated on me. I would be disrespectful to myself, that’s lack of self love.

[@ilsevdg1194]

I LOVE these epiphanies and revelations. It begins with silence. Then the loud "Ooooooo!!!!" or Aaaaaaa!!!!" And then, in the following minutes, you hear them exhale. It's magic. MAAAAAAGIC!!!!!!!!

[@CJ2023Incognito]

Kait, I do the same thing!! You are not alone. 💙

[@wonder12374]

Same here

[@TheMintDegree]

Same

[@annagreynerovych4069]

It’s funny how no one talks about discharge with out a baby. When I went thru it with my twins (NICU for 50 days), one of ladies had premature baby at our church, I came to a hospital next day and told her to get ready for tomorrow, because it will be worst day in your life going home empty handed. She still remembers my talk with her. But we made it somehow.

[@heatherdoeur114]

That happened to me. I hope your friend’s baby and your babies are alive and well. I had my first baby at 28 weeks. I was 19 and terrified. I didn’t get to hold her until she was a month old. I only got to hold her a few times. After all avenues were exhausted, she was almost 5 months old when she died. She would have turned 20 years old this year. You’re absolutely right. No one talks about the void a parent feels when they leave that hospital empty handed and no one talk about when they have to bury their own child. Thank you for your post. ❤

[@fijaystudio]

The teacher has a hubbie who quit his job doesn't look keen for another and spends all his time on his phone. Next logical extension - he's got a side chick - and the pro-social hardworking wonderful woman starts accepting it. Delony is So right to tell her she needs boundaries

[@randybobandy9828]

Nothing wonderful about a wife who spends all her time away from her marriage. She has filled 100% of her days with something else... Including volonteeing her time.. she would rather give her time to others for free then be with her husband... No that isn't a result from her husband not working, it was happening before he quit his job, honestly I wouldn't be surprised if her husband was depressed over the terrible marriage. I would divorce her... They don't work well together.

[@anneshirley95]

The fact that he sang part of Jessie's girl is kind of ironic. 😆

[@neoalley]

Yeah the man Jesse's ex-wife slept with wanted Jesse's girl apparently 😬😅

[@lisalister8002]

Don't take the bait.. Keep the ex away.

[@KindCalmKaila]

"Talkin' to myself because I am my own consultant"--LW

[@CharlotteCarMoments]

I had preeclampsia and my son was born 11 weeks early and was 2 pounds, 12 ounces. We got to hold him a lot, even with all the wires. The nurses would pick him up with one hand. He is 26 now and 6’2”. Sending my love mom and dad’s way

[@talitapodda6835]

#2 totally me. 3 years off work, trying to help in all the manners, I only realize only me wanted that job for him.

[@randybobandy9828]

Man this show is a magnet for women who had a bad relationship... Just a man hating audience.

[@smmds]

The first caller by his own admission said that he had his role in the marriage ending in divorce..I wonder what exactly he did. Would love to hear the other side of this story

[@savage_optimist]

That first guy has a lot of self awareness. Good for him!!

[@debmacie1612]

Why why why does everyone think they have to be with another person? What is wrong with being on their own and building an interesting life and learning to enjoy being alone? Get stable and confident in yourself. You will be a way more interesting person and will not be willing to be with someone just because you are desperate. People are so pathetic and stupid.

[@somethinggood-sy1ed]

Finances. Period

[@evonheffken6552]

Nice work, John. I liked the specific guidance that you gave to Kait. I hope it helps her. I may check out the book you referenced too.

[@yenibobenny]

Lmao the diarrhea comment killed me 😂

[@godknowsimstupid7848]

Lets all be honest, everyone has there phone when there on the toilet lol Next up, peeing in the shower

[@yenibobenny]

Whoever says they have never peed in the shower is lying 😂@@godknowsimstupid7848

[@chelseysmith3485]

I relate to Kait very much. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Definitely buying the book and speaking to myself in third person

[@barosalearninglab]

They have been married for 20 years, but he referred to the daughter with the drug addiction as her daughter (7:17). Looks like he already separated from the past quite a bit.

[@jmwalling1030]

Just so you know, Dr John. You are awesome 😎

[@JudithRandall-vz1zk]

Best analysis and suggestion I've heard from him. It helps me, too.

[@KittieOnALeash]

LOVE THE NEW MUSIC!!!

[@guadalupeeg5034]

The first caller....Let both women go! Take control of your own life. Learn to be content with being alone, then in the future patiently take time to get to know someone new.

[@barbaradann1446]

John where do you get your energy? I want what you are having!

[@elwiub]

Congrats Jenna 💖

[@nvital9671]

I got with my now husband when I was 18. Broke up with him at 23 and we got back together at 28. However, there was no infidelity on either part. It was more so immaturity, lack of communication and meddling family. 39 now and we've been going strong😊

[@gabzsy4924]

35:00 so a man is only worth of respect and love in a marriage if he's working and providing but the same is not true for a woman? And if his not than he should be held accountable and placed under scrutiny because somehow this breaks the vows that he took when he married? I 100% understand and believe that work glorifies men and I also agree with Dr. John about the unhelathy spiral that staying at home unemployed can generate, but using it as a weapon to somehow imply that when he married he was only worth of the vows if he provided seems a bit harsh and distorted.

[@vaska1999]

Yes, the same is not true of women for the simple reason that we bear children. The answer will change when men start bearing children and pulling their weight with household chores.

[@gabzsy4924]

@@vaska1999 that is such a gross generalization. Some couples don't want children and some men are better caretakers, fathers and home owners then the wives. The ability to bear children does not imply an innate moral and ethical value, just a biological one, and even then many woman around the world end up being awful mothers and house keepers.

[@vaska1999]

@@gabzsy4924 I agree on all of that. The fact remains that it is women alone who bear the high biological burden of incubating children and giving birth. This process is physiologically far more taxing than hard labour and is associated with elevated risk of death. It frequently causes chronic health issues for women who've borne children. Which is why I hold to my original riposte: the same is not true of women for the simple reason that we're the sex that bears children.

[@gabzsy4924]

@@vaska1999 but men die younger and are known to carry more stress related chronic diseases and the highest risk factor for men under 45 are themselves and only stops after that because cardiovascular diseases surpass suicide, not because suicide rates decrease. In fact men are three to four times more likely to take their own lives then woman...all of this indicates that there's clearly a discrepancy between the sexes and how they are treated by society.

[@davidjamesmclean6325]

I agree, it's a toxic response. 'I don't care' attidude is so dismissive. They are many great stay at home dad's who are focused on raising a family. There are men working part time while studying or training on a new skill. Sure sitting at home watching TV all day is not good. That I agree. People need to be proactive. But the obsession of work as equal to self worth is a over simplification of a problem. Doing a job just for money, just to be able to eat or live under a roof but you hate it or your not good at it or it has terrible working conditions, toxic environment, pay ect.. People should be able to find a job or train for a job that they are suited too.