Narcissistic Family: How to STOP Absorbing their Feelings & Emotions

[@jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

"If we stay calm, it protects us from absorbing the feelings of others." I experienced this firsthand as I stood before a threatening, yelling, profane, and disrespectful police officer. I stood there completely empty. Eventually, he gave up attempting to provoke a response from me and walked away.

[@daviddurango9562]

Anyone calling themselves a Jehovah's Witness is most definitely a narcissist. This is my helpful contribution on the subject. Narcissists love to feel that they occupy the moral high ground, so be careful. Just because someone goes to church really doesn't mean JACK!

[@christacoppella52]

my mother is a covert narcissist, You have helped me so much .I would personally like to thank you 😊, no contact for 2 years boundaries , put up , I will.o ly meet her in restaurant , due to the victim hood facade ,.....I'm.. empowered and no longer look for mommys approval , by the way im 52

[@emilyflores9844]

Yes my mother would be disappointed if she cant take the blame for everything or have the blame pointed at her.i m still working on not needing their approval. I m 36.

[@MLJay]

I gained my freedom from my monster of a narcissist mom at 50 as well. No contact for 4 years. She’s tried to destroy every single relationship in my life because of that though and she has been highly successful. It’s awful but I haven’t caved to the pressure . 💪

[@lynnec3372]

Congratulations to your new found liberation.😁 I am an only child and my mother is a vulnerable covert narcissist. She will call me and start with the veey happy (lure) or the “woe is me”( another lure).. if these are not successful she will drop the facade quick and try and drag me into anger enmeshment. I tell her to knock it off, her ruse is a con and I ain’t buying it... she is 87 yrs old. Misery is not my company😌

[@Tiamoya23]

I'm 35. It's hard

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Congratulations 🎈

[@rubberbiscuit99]

Those of us raised in dysfunctional familes were conditioned to having our empathy weaponized against us because it is an easy get for a manipulator. Empathy is human, and healthy, but it can be hijacked by a manipulator, and when that happens it becomes unbalanced and dysfunctional. We must stay connected to our empathy for ourselves, first and foremost. A lack of empathy is dysfunctional, such as an abuser's lack of empathy for the target of abuse.

[@josephdennis8473]

Amen to all of this.

[@bereal6590]

They want empathy from us whilst they show us very little, is my experience ✌

[@nicolebenson4517]

@@bereal6590Yes, everything is about them and for them. Ego. 😢

[@SusanLlewellyn-pp2xn]

Excellent point

[@athena3865]

Saving this to my reference pages. Thank you.

[@dianelamorticella6053]

Michael Beckwith said worrying is like praying in reverse.

[@jerrywise]

Well said

[@MarthaMcCrum]

Love that

[@joanhenry650]

Yes that is a great statement!!

[@Victoriansiamese]

8th 😊😊😊😊​@@joanhenry650

[@aquariusstar7248]

The being curious and not reacting is THE Hardest skill for me to implement. I am always trying to defend myself bc i work so hard to treat everyone with respect, consideration and care. And then when the other person starts making accusations I just blow up. It's like how dare you say I'm doing or not doing these things when I'm putting forth so much effort to carry my load and be considerate of you. What has helped in this case is to step back and ask if I'm considering the other too much or giving too much if other ppl are taking it for granted and not even acknowledging my efforts.

[@SA-ww1ge]

Not defending urself is a super power of healthy people.weeds out manipulators they can’t believe ur on to their BS

[@dianelamorticella6053]

Yes, narcissistic people project. I was told that I was expressing myself too much. Because my narc mother did not like my opinion.

[@bcbro142]

Same here

[@z1z2z3z]

Yes it helps realize that they are basically telling you what is wrong with themselves.

[@dianelamorticella6053]

Happy New Year Jerry Wise! Thank you for always teaching such good stuff!!!!! I have had some stressful moments when I keep thinking about what you have said, “calmness is everything”. And that is so helpful!!!❤️

[@indyjones1135]

Same.

[@jasonsavage2249]

Textbook narcissism

[@jennifersmithcomedy]

If someone said I was a giraffe I would not say hay, I don' t have a long neck or four legs? I would just laugh....Why do I justify myself? I look more guilty? I am giving this anxiety more attention. It makes so much sense....

[@Leafygreen123]

A good friend of mine calls worrying “practice bleeding” and I truly think that captures the essence of worrying perfectly!

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Love!

[@teresarudolph1256]

Oh wow. That sounds like a form of emotional self-harm.

[@melissad.6722]

To my enmeshed mother worry means love " if you're not worried about me you don't care"

[@AnnaSzabo]

Do we have the same mother?

[@arcturianoracle784]

Same. If she had a problem that we could not help with at all as children, we would still need to be depressed and not playing etc. Crazy..

[@arcturianoracle784]

I realized it was crazy but felt guilty anyway or almost bought into her bs. It was only now being a parent that I fully realized how wrong it is. The LAST thing I want is for my adult anxieties to interfere with their joy! I don't even want them to notice. So wtf did I feel guilty about as a child???? lmao

[@Stevethegreenmachine]

We definitely have the same mother 😅

[@deckerskaatje7877]

I now feel often abandoned and rejected by myself, and then I hate myself for being so stupid , and that's very very hurting .

[@marypaulosky2214]

Just posting that comment means that you are waking up to the truth. Stay on course. We are all in this together.

[@deckerskaatje7877]

@@marypaulosky2214 That's what I thought (and hoped) too , thank you so much for confirming !

[@z1z2z3z]

@@marypaulosky2214 100%

[@z1z2z3z]

@@deckerskaatje7877 Mary is right, stay conscious

[@deckerskaatje7877]

@@z1z2z3z Thank you .

[@proudtobeanamerican]

False belief patterns exposed, resistance to the truth about our selves. Lack of self awareness lead to lack of other awareness.

[@paulreynolds8110]

Love the idea of not having to defend myself against others beliefs. That's a huge relief for me, thank you.

[@jerrywise]

You're so welcome! Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@karenkasteler942]

Empathy is anxiety triggered....and worry does not equal compassion....wow......guilty of both...so now I shall do the HARD work of change.....those brain grooves run DEEP....but you can't even start without awareness of what you're doing.

[@jerrywise]

You are right Karen Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@alainroger-r8b]

EMPATHS absorbes a lot!

[@gedankenradio143]

Worrying is the little brother of anxiety...and the fog which keeps you from seeing through to the roots of the problem..

[@jasonsavage2249]

I really like the being curious about negative emotions and not defending yourself.

[@marypaulosky2214]

Yeah. I'm starting to like it too. Next step in self actualization I guess. What a wild ride it is. 😜

[@sirenachantal471]

Wow, I sometimes take notes while watching therapy-based videos. This one, I wrote almost word-for-word. I might need to listen to this video everyday for awhile. This was truly helpful!

[@jerrywise]

Glad it was helpful! Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com

[@jazdtildawn2]

I really don't like my tendency to over empathize. My family uses my empathy for their benefit, because they don't empathize with one another. They through too many hot potatoes my way.

[@susanv1535]

I have always had trouble absorbing others feelings, then making myself sick worrying about this or that. I get triggered when people get upset or yell. A light went off, when you mentioned these things, and now I know it is from all the drama, and stress from a child. Duh. I didn’t get that until now. I just thought I was wired to be overly sensitive. It is nice to have someone explain all this, and give some tools to use to stop. Giving us permission to not worry, ( it isn’t really unkind or uncaring) and tools on how not to react is so helpful. Staying on my own side of the tennis net, (I play tennis) is a great visual to help me too. Thank you. ❤️

[@jerrywise]

I’m glad you find my videos helpful, thank you for your support!

[@miriam100ful]

this is my problem, I have too much of a tendency to absorb the narc mom's feeling, she often feels down or complains of having pains or some other issue she's having, and she always has issues.

[@omartrachen6794]

Toxic energy every day every second !!

[@beayates6228]

Wow! This is great! 'Focus on yourself and your own awareness when you are interacting with others. '

[@jerrywise]

Yes! Thank you! Thank you for writing to me from the Avaiya Conference. Here is your free gift AND I have added another free gift as well Use both of these links to get your free content [either click them, or select and paste them in your address bar] “Annihilation of Our Awareness” drive.google.com/file/d/0B7LvCJ3_xPoRU2NHbGtLWlNQc00/view?usp=sharing 2. Here is a recent workshop on “Reducing Your Reactivity” 3.5 hours drive.google.com/file/d/1fOQ_xMq9p_3wqFNVl7k4EGMchfNOvsZ1/view?usp=sharing Wishing you the best in your life and recovery, Jerry Jerry T. Wise, MA, MS, CLC Jerry Wise Relationship Systems www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Be sure to subscribe to my You Tube Channel kzbin.info/door/ZWHfOsTVegeEFEXV56llWA “Standing Strong as an Adult Child of the Narcissist” Workshop Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC July 17th, 2021 Saturday, 1-5pm Eastern time On Zoom Topics: The Illusions of the Narcissist The Trauma of Adult Children of Narcissists Living in the War Zone 7 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Were Raised by a Narcissist 10 Ways Children of Narcissists Love Differently Healing Your Inner Parts and Inner Bonding Resisting Self-hate, Self-shaming, Self-rejection, Self-abandonment Cutting the Emotional Umbilical Cord: Going No Contact or Low Contact with Toxic Parents Superpowers All Adult Children of Narcissists Have And more… Lead by Jerry Wise Founder of Jerry Wise Relationship Systems and You-tubber of over 250 videos. Q & A Role Plays Volunteer participation You will receive the recorded workshop You will receive the notes for the workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events

[@bucketmanism]

Thanks Jerry, it occurred to me that enmeshment is, at its fundamental level, a cloning mechanism. It is bound to occur in any social system which seeks to homogenise its’ members and there is little or no resistance to differentiate from those members.

[@janiejl]

interesting point! especially where cultures are involved that are a homogenous society

[@LilBrownieD]

❤️

[@magdalenasteyn-durand4976]

I've realised that I over empathise while watching this video.

[@onlyonce1707]

Yes JUMP to CURIOSITY is right - rather than be reactive and defend.

[@darinsmith2458]

This one came up again.. I am going to have to save this one.. I would also add to not absorb angry people's energy.. I had someone try cutting me off in traffic today and I wouldn't let him and the car in front of me waved him in front of them so I waved him in that direction.. Right before we went on many vacations my mom would corner me until I would put my hand through the wall.. I thought it was so that I would release her energy.. I had a revelation that it wasn't about her releasing her energy (anger).. It was so she could stay (justify) angry.. People are going to be angry whether I do something to please them or not. I am definitely going to save this video.. Good Stuff.. . I have also been reading up on the Bowen Family Systems.. Wow it is pretty hmmm advanced isn't the word.. Maybe thorough is the word.. I can really relate to it..

[@ZealousChristianPrincess]

Jerry Wise is Very Wise lol

[@teresarudolph1256]

I think that I need to write down some of the beliefs that I have - about myself, my family, my roles in my family, and my roles and place in this world - that have helped to keep me stuck. This video helped to give me a starting point for that, because one of my beliefs is that I am 100% responsible for my mother's emotional state, and her emotional well-being, that it's my job to always prop her up, even at the expense of my own needs. There are a lot more, but that's the first that comes to mind.

[@aland5935]

Your words hit like truth bombs. I will be watching them all. Thanks!

[@jerrywise]

❤️❤️

[@drv9744]

Thank you @Jerry Wise for all you do and your kindness as you teach us. You are such a blessing! God bless you, Sir.

[@jerrywise]

You are very welcome Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@onlyonce1707]

It's hard to defend a negative about an irrational belief or lie and you can also look guilty if you try. WOW! SO WISE. So yes best to jump to curiosity instead! Don't react and defend.🙂🙏

[@EMGEE718]

I just want to say your perspectives are really keen. They speak very soundly. I thank you sincerely

[@nicolebenson4517]

In a healthy relationship, empathy and understanding is very important. And should be a two way street to overcome life’s challenges. It should be about growth. In a narcissistic relationship all bets are off, it’s a one way street and a set up. They are master strategises and they are the perpetual insincere. They can try mimic empathy at times, but you know them by their fruits. It’s fleeting, shallow and ultimately about them.

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

Worry creates more problems in the family system than solutions. True. You know why? The person worried about will refuse to be enmeshed and the person worrying will become upset and project upon them.

[@2rythm797]

This is one of your best videos (meaning I like this one so much). Gotta say most of your videos are highly triggering so I need to listen to it a few times before my brain allows me to actually listen and process the information. I’d like to download them and listen to them as I drive.

[@magdalenasteyn-durand4976]

You are wearing a beautiful shirt. Style and fabric.

[@WonkyWomanLife]

Sometimes you need to be on both sides. If you are In a marriage,it's hard if you are ignored and have to do all the balancing. Sometimes if the other person is not pulling their weight,you have to pick up the slack,but it gets old

[@suemahran1802]

This video is a life change for me. Thank you 🙏

[@jerrywise]

You're welcome Sue, I'm glad it was helpful

[@jazdtildawn2]

This whole presentation can become a book. There are many gems in what Mr. Wise is saying. He's approximately named, as there's so much wisdom here.

[@jerrywise]

Thank you for your kind words Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@jojodaisy4]

REMARKABLE information I have learned SO much in all the reading I’ve done self help literature NEVER heard anything like this. Soooooo helpful THANKYOU Sir you are helping many people

[@TenTenJ]

This is really good. I have to listen to it like 20 times. 🌟

[@Musick328]

Bless this man, changed my life.

[@jerrywise]

Thank you so much for your kind words Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@onlyonce1707]

I had to deal with a relative today. This is harder said than done. Needed this, thank you in preparation x

[@erolgermannemmanuel5637]

Thanks Dr.Wise for the great help. these are the right tools I needed but could'nt find on my own !

[@jerrywise]

Glad to help

[@jennifersmithcomedy]

Profound. This man is an genius. I have looked for so long for so many years to understand. Every word has as a meaning and is so wise, hence his name ha ha!! I have been able to move forward and start the process of change only because of this man and his incredible videos. Its an education. It is absolutely amazing. Thank you Jerry just incredible x

[@stever507]

This was one of the most helpful videos I’ve seen on the subject

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

"come with a greater confidence"

[@happygolucky6284]

I can’t believe how your channels videos seem to be tailor made for my exact issues. I’ve realised my enmeshment is the root of all my problems! Wow! I’ve only watched a few of your vids but I plan to watch them all.

[@jerrywise]

Glad to help! Thank you for watching. Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@happygolucky6284]

@@jerrywise I do plan to join and contribute as I can’t believe how much helpful content you have out there for free! I can’t seem to find the Join button. Maybe it’s only if you’re on a computer?

[@attheranch873]

It’s worrying that causes me to take action. If I wasn’t worried, I wouldn’t bother to do anything about a situation!

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

For me it was the guilt tripping.

[@lisbethbird8268]

I'm very curious to know if these are the keys to stopping active projective identification, where a person unconsciously acts to dump their garbage into another.

[@arcturianoracle784]

Your content is so so helpful to me. Thank you!! 🙏

[@jerrywise]

I'm so glad!

[@glorytogodhomestead3495]

This title is perfect!

[@username-jc2tp]

That's gold, Jerry, GOLD!

[@jerrywise]

Great, thank you Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@halarefaat964]

Thankyou so much for all of your content. Please stay well safe and healthy ❤

[@shizsunshinewachira1344]

The calmness video is and was life changing I've watched it 4 times...jerry thank you...

[@jerrywise]

Thank you so much for watching Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@Henrybythelake]

You democratize mental health! Thank you!!!

[@jerrywise]

Thanks Lisa

[@Henrybythelake]

@@jerrywise Jerry would you please tell me how to get a hold of you guys again. Thank you I’m sorry I can’t find my old comment. Thank you.

[@littleyellowcarrot1571]

Hvala!

[@jerrywise]

Thank you for your support, it is truly appreciated!

[@sherylbeamer7189]

Jerry, your wisdom is so healing! I really appreciate these individual videos and hope you will write a book! You truly get to the very heart of the matter🙏🏼. Thank you💕👏🏻

[@jerrywise]

Thank you so much We are working on that book Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@jenniferb4118]

Everything in this video is pure gold. Thank you! Especially the worrying part. 👍

[@yohan9577]

Thank you, once again, Jerry. What you said about worrying is so true, and I would add that a narcissic person could try to trigger worries in ourselves to try to reconnect/get us back. Also about the "flying monky" situation that you described in the end, I've just realized that I've experienced a similar situation at work, a long time ago, where someone brought me rumors about my team's hypothetic difficulties, and I did wrong by defending myself and my colleagues, and being angry at him, instead of staying calm and asking what does he really experienced himself ! That's powerful. Thank you again.

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@pebblebrookbooks4852]

I love this thumbnail. Half of Jerry's weight loss is Other Ppl's Feelings. 😅

[@createa.googleaccount713]

BRAVO!!! 🏆❤

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

I love the the tennis court example.

[@hendsem]

Thank you for putting the fantastic message out into the world pro bono

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome! Thank you for watching my videos. If you would like to donate to help produce more free videos, it would be greatly appreciated. Any amounts helps us produce great videos. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/donations

[@mariajmc6557]

Thank you sir you put things in good communicative language.

[@jerrywise]

Thank you for watching. Any donation would help in making these videos. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/donations

[@mercedessanchez6844]

Well, my! From all the channels who address this topic (I’ve seen a few) your the best explaining the most effective defense tactics! I’m your fan! Infinite thanks!

[@jerrywise]

Such kind words. Thank you so much. And thank you for watching.

[@marekm9647]

Dziękujemy.

[@SantalenaMe]

Thanks!

[@lrooney813]

This is so helpful… thanks so much for the validation too ♥️

[@jellybearq]

Thank you, you are truly doing God’s work. The information that I have learned from this channel is very much helpful and direct

[@jerrywise]

Joi thank you for your kind words Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@c.o.s.ismyname7701]

@8:10 to @8:54 really hit home for me.

[@jerrywise]

I'm glad you enjoyed the video Thanks for watching I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional

[@petroonajourney3503]

Thank you so much for this video, it is appreciated 👍👍👍

[@marianomanto]

Love the cover !!

[@jerrywise]

Hahahaha Thanks We thought it was funny

[@SantalenaMe]

Your videos have been so helpful to me over the years. Today is 11/15/24 and I just viewed this one again and want You to know how much it’s serving me so sent a super thanks! Hope You are well and happy and understand how amazing your work and healing has served

[@jerrywise]

Thank you so much for watching, commenting, and donating

[@takforce06]

Jerry, you’re a gem. I found this video to be helpful. Thank you.

[@jerrywise]

Glad it was helpful!

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

Yeah, it is a journey to become your own person. According to my children it developed in the natural way. The older they got the lesser I worried etc.., but with all the other people active work was necessary because there is no natural bond as they play games.

[@notnow7829]

Abandoned is a feeling? I thought that would be more of a judgment or perception. Thinking I'm Abandoned would cause me to feel scared and lonely. Is that not correct Thinking about it? Ive come to realize I cannot be Abandoned by anyone but myself and I dont do that anymore. I just get confused on what are true feelings and what are systems feelings or thoughts.

[@marypaulosky2214]

Thanks for your comment. It's true. Thinking that you are being abandoned is like abandoning yourself. Brilliant.

[@z1z2z3z]

One thing that helps me with "systems feelings" is to look at my situation as if it was book or movie and I was a character in the story. Then I can look at the situation outside of myself and consider if I am feeling certain ways because I am trained to, or because I should feel that way because it is a healthy way to feel. For example, I have a hard time saying no. I feel guilty, "bad", mean, and selfish. If I stop and consider the situation, I can see that I am not "bad" for saying no. Being able to say no is healthy. I have to train myself out of feeling like a bad person because in my childhood, I was trained to always say yes or comply with my parents or I would be yelled at, threatened, told I'm not allowed to feel that way, ect.

[@marypaulosky2214]

Great advice. Going try that today 😃.

[@marypaulosky2214]

Basically we are all actors outside of ourselves with the exception of people who are truly self actualized like Eckhart Tolle.

[@marypaulosky2214]

Peace is an inside job!

[@marysullivan3881]

Every day you bring a new understanding to my life. My mom haranged my older sister about her weight. It was torture knowing how much my sister felt. Verbal beat downs occured almost daily. She lived a lifetime of unresolved anger not understanding the lack of maternal love.

[@marysullivan3881]

Dr Jerry, is it possible for me to have over used empathy to avoid looking at my own stuffed emotions?

[@bigred5535]

Thank you for useful tools. I feel empowered already.

[@lucretiz]

Hello Jerry so glad to see you in the New Year

[@jerrywise]

Happy new year to you!

[@Cyndia1969]

Excellent video 100% ❤️

[@jerrywise]

Thank you 🙌 Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@joanhenry650]

All great healthy reminders!! So happy I can say that!!😉😊

[@catherinesinclair7727]

Thank you and a Happy New Year. Radical acceptance of feelings of guilt...takes the power out of these feelings

[@jerrywise]

Happy new year!

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

Worry is indicative of enmeshment.

[@davashorb6116]

The tennis net analogy is really helpful!

[@tteejay9837]

Jerry your amazing ! You have been such a great help to me and my husband. I’m happy to help you financially to keep the videos going! I forgot where you said the link was. If you get this, please send me the link to help contribute. Thanks, take care and I will be checking in with you soon.

[@ccharles848]

This video was made for me! This all makes sense on how I feel, react and react! I just need to remember this in the moment. 😢 Thank you!

[@deedee46x]

This has come at just the right time . Thank you Jerry.

[@dennisrobinson8008]

Their feelings and emotions are projected into you intentionally to bring you down.

[@stacya7894]

Excellent teaching! Thank you! 🙏

[@jerrywise]

You are very welcome Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

"From the system."

[@edacakir5482]

Thanks Jerry, this video gave me the clarification, tools and the best insight that I needed! You're amazing!

[@jerrywise]

Glad it was helpful!

[@catherinezandi8033]

Words of gold really! THANK YOU again!

[@tiffanierrodas-zc9et]

What a fantastic video, I love how well each thing has a primary system reason, and it has examples

[@jerrywise]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching

[@tinkerBellBellB]

Thank YOU !!!!! 🌹🌹🌹🌹🙏🙏🙏

[@karishort1891]

Such a great video but I do wonder why I feel dysfunctional since my mother never showed true empathy If it is a useless emotion/feeling. I literally have a notebook full of notes from your videos. Thank you Sir 💕❤️

[@jerrywise]

I'm really glad my videos are helping you. Often we are showed a dysfunctional vision of empathy or we learn to feel dysfunctional empathy. Healthy empathy- I feel my own pain and I can feel my pain about the other persons pain. dysfunctional empathy- I feel their pain and I don't exist in the relationship equation. How about let's change the context- how will act differently towards yourself - and others - if you felt more empathy towards yourself?

[@joey76611]

Very insightful... Thank you for this❤️

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome

[@Cocobelle96]

Thanks

[@jerrywise]

Thank you for your support!