Narcissists will change the way you listen to people

[@shaeholden1743]

Wow! Very well said - and SO true. This is probably the biggest lesson I've learned from marriage to and divorce from narcissist ... to not be SO automatically trusting and assuming that other people's intentions are as innocent as mine. I now understand the depth of "evil" in this world. 😐 Yeah.

[@GloriaScottCrossland-jj5hi]

Very true, hard lesson to learn and unfortunately most of us learn it the hard way . Glad you got it now , WISDOM ❤️

[@kurts7216]

Kevin you nailed it with the cheesy insincere “love you” thing. I heard those exact 2 cent words for a decade and a half and not once did I EVER feel it! Thanks for saving so many souls 👍🏻

[@deannang455]

Sorry, people with the Jezebel spirit aka narcissist can't love. God bless you Brother! Stay strong. You are strong and encouraging, why I enjoy watching and learning from these.

[@LindaStokes-ff2kv]

I believe my aunt is with the jezebel spirit. So hateful and just evil...

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

I don’t if you know but Jezebel spirits have no gender ‼️ 5:43

[@pamelamoore6239]

@@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142 it is appropriate to refer to her as a Jezebel spirit, however, because your Aunt is a woman.

[@janiced.hatcher1272]

Regarding my own parents and siblings a whole narcassist family, i found out they didn't love me when I was in the throws of death by 1000 cuts they gave me.

[@Аноним-щ3н]

We just need to stop feeding these narcissists with attention and communication. Just ignore them and they will vanish.

[@Аноним-щ3н]

@user-de_royal__we what did I desire?

[@ThomasWBaldwin]

who? me? get a friend who's a lawyer. these scum never go away at my level.

[@ThomasWBaldwin]

@@Аноним-щ3н Sid Arta?

[@tanyadepoalo4312]

It’s not just about actions either. It’s about patterns, patterns of behavior show who a person is. God tells us in his WORD “You will know them by their fruits”

[@phoenixariesfire]

I never realized this why I am so observant rather than listening to what they/ people are saying

[@RealNyeTheScienceGuy]

No no, you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD now take these pills 😂😂😂 ~The Doctor

[@Laura-wp6zg]

You crack me up Kevin 😂 I love how you teach us. 🥰 I love you Kevin! Thank you for helping us. I've always said, actions speak louder than words.

[@WitnessingTruth]

Just helped my baby cousin leave her abusive narc husband last weekend in the STL! This is exactly what we’re having to learn together in our dysfunctional family. Ty! 💖

[@treelover1050]

I TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE. LOOK AT THEIR WORDS AND ACTIONS. IF YOU ARE FULL OF EMPTY WORDS, I REFUSE TO BE AROUND YOU.

[@annabee922]

I used to be so perplexed at some of the narcissistic people in my life when they react with shock after seeing me follow through with my own words. I would tell them something along the lines of "if you keep up this toxic behavior, I will leave". I didn't understand. I asked them why didn't they believe me when I told them I was going to do what I'm doing. The lightbulb moment came when I realized that their own actions don't match their words and that is why they don't value other people's words because they are projecting and think that others are lying since they are full of deceit. Watch what they do and see if it aligns to what they say, try pointing out the discrepancy and you'll witness their anger. Always remember, an honest person does not need to tell you that they are honest. Their integrity is shown in their character and actions.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

I definitely listen to them with my eyes. They are the worst at giving eye contact as well

[@AnaSilva-to1sy]

Narcissism is a life of grief. I'm listening to a lot of podcasts on this, so l can understand there sorrow, but l'm also convinced that their Trauma can be cured. As tragic as they might see their situation, there is hope, but Narcissists have to be willing to do the work, because healing from anything doesn't come to us overnight, this mental illness didn't happen in one day, that's why a therapist is necessary. I don't want to offend anyone, but any Trauma affects the brain.

[@rudolfvanooijen]

Thanks Kevin, since I began to watch your channel, I am learning more and more. After 44 years I broke contact with my narc parents. Big thanks to you!

[@GreatRegression]

Never trust people who mess with language, from the micro (personal) level to the macro (societal).

[@momikal2238]

Great comment! Thanks for this post. I will be pondering this for the next several weeks.

[@bw2442]

That would rule out 90% of politicians

[@TurbulantSynider]

I did not understood this please.. give me one example pls

[@dorothysmith7226]

Thats the only way some ppl communicate!!

[@rdewilde100]

Words matter to me ❤. If i hear BS, i don't continue listening

[@kdjourney51]

Actions are a language.

[@abrandnewday3581]

When my ex-husband left, I asked him if he meant all the I Love You(s) during the relationship, and he said no. He admitted that he said it because out of habit. He said he “loved me” up until the day he left for his co-worker. Amazing liars, these narcs. Going forward, I’ve bypassed words as well, and observed what people do…rarely do people’s actions match their words so, you are correct. Thanks for posting.

[@2007cgarza]

Actions not words :)

[@billstone8451]

Any one that knows me has heard me say I listen with my eyes, heart and gut!!! I also hear the noise they make but growing up with a narcissist mother makes one never judge a book by its cover ! 60 years later I still have a problem wrapping my head around the fact that such evil exist !!! And they get away with it because of your LOVE for them . Only because you love them ! How wicked can one be ? Ephesians 12:6

[@LightofHope17]

Im from STL, thats right. Show me. You will know them by their fruits. We see those fruits, or we dont.

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

Yes you are right Kevin they make words meaning less ! 7:39

[@NikkiGRocks4Ever]

Thank you Kevin. Yes, I listen with my eyes. I also listen to my instincts. If you know in your gut, the person is a narcissist. They probably are. Protect yourself accordingly.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

I no longer listen to words either. You have to prove to me with action.

[@treelover1050]

SMART CHOICE. REAL PEOPLE KNOW THEY HAVE TO PROVE THEMSELVES TO YOU.

[@ginatucci201]

My parents would act like i was too sensitive when my brothers were insulting to me. "Oh gina you know they love you, thats just how they express it." I translated that as "i should take it" and that if guys were mean to me they love me. Lol thus i ended up dating an abusive druggie narcissist who dragged my self esteem and confidence thru the mud

[@FeyIndigoWolf]

Being raised by 2 covert narcissists gave me excellent observation skills. I have taken that skill into my profession working with nonverbal autistic kids. I am one of the best at knowing when a meltdown is about to happen with only the slightest change in facial expression.

[@Julie-n6k]

The word SORRY means absolutely nothing to me after dealing with narcs all my life

[@RH-ul2bc]

You actually got a sorry? Mine never apologized for anything.

[@JessicaBilodeau]

​Only to build ya up for the next kick though right? @@RH-ul2bc

[@arianasha]

Yeah they do make you look with your eyes don’t they! PARASITIC/PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (DARK DISTORTED TWISTED ENERGY) LURING IN & AROUND THEM SADLY FOR THEM.. Thank you so much Kevin!

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

It truly is sad and pathetic

[@crazycats535]

They are overgrown children.

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

Kevin I can’t take this anymore! You are talking ABOUTH my son !!!!!!! 12:04

[@margaretsnewtoylynnparks5336]

How about the Bead (ie) Eye glare! (Pure Hate on their face). (As if they want you dead). . . *I still love that chair. Where can I get one?!?*

[@margaretsnewtoylynnparks5336]

Sad that others are seeing that! We deserve better!

[@Grammamellow1]

This is why the mask mandates terrified ME. I dunno about anyone else..but...I need body language to stay safe. We have cheeks and chin..FOR A REASON.

[@Nat-oj2uc]

That's why I'm against niqabs. It's fkn unnatural and uncomfy to interact with a bag without seeing facial expressions

[@TheHelenhunter]

Plus you can't hear anything 😵‍💫

[@vonyettawebb2400]

Thank u Kevin, this here is gold....

[@4514rooster]

Everything is a tit for tat with these people always trying to take and anything they ever give will be expected 10 fold in return.

[@maggiesalle2256]

Yes, when narcs say they are trying to help by yelling at you for complaining about family when they could have politely asked to change the subject. One member gaslighted me this way. Hi from St. Louis!! Yes, prove your assertions! Look at the actions!

[@sandra.phillips]

Thanks Kevin for a different insight. I was trying to figure out what to say to someone who puts more importance in words than action. I know that I should just say bye-bye... but I wanted to let them know why I have created a distance. If I don't say the right words, they withdraw and make ME feel like the betrayer. It's a mind-game that traps me and makes me feel like I am the problem... not them. Thank you for reminding me of the importance of actions!

[@ThomasWBaldwin]

You're the real deal man. Thanks.

[@Julieann1437]

This demonic spirit is our worlds downfall, words matter, words hurt😢

[@dianagentile7636]

Great Video Kevin ❤️ Yes Absolutely 💯 Action speaks louder than Words!!! Back in the late 70’s my daughters were Forbidden 🚫 2 say “Hate or the N word” unfortunately both turned out to be Narcissistic 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ Live & Learn, that’s what Life is all about Choices‼️ Stay Blessed Always 🥰 🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️

[@jessegee179]

Interesting 👍 No wonder we grow up confused and unable to identify truth. I read Gavin de Beckers ‘Gift of Fear’ it’s alarming but teaches how to identify false behaviours and trust your instincts.

[@yuu_miran]

Words are meaningless. Not only about narcissists, but about rising number of insincere people too

[@SunnysBookofHealing]

My ex had no idea the meaning of "love." He thought he could act like it. Like putting mechanical parts together. "Hmmm, it should work! Why is it not working?" He was spineless!!

[@janiced.hatcher1272]

From a nsrcassist, " love you", said to friends and family means, thanks for your support

[@michellerutt6683]

Singing my song Kevin. I’m mostly in observer mode for real, helps me see what’s really being said, (mostly blah blah blah) You help with not feeling so alone in this battle! Thank you 🙏

[@GoFishOffice]

Very good insight my friend. At the moment I'm living in Minnesota but have considered moving to Missouri... Not only warmer than here but also to give distance from the toxic people in my life

[@mbj-uo8lt]

Thanks for this. This describes my dad, so after years of hurt and confusion, I now keep him at arm's length, fairly uninvolved in my life. But now, he's in his 80s, and I want to figure out how to forgive him and be good to him, so I have peace after he goes.

[@margiechism]

One is do not bring him to [c]ourt; ■ second let him live his life. M

[@GreasyBaconMan]

You can have peace knowing your life is in Gods hands and that he loves you. Also, know that you can place your Dads in Gods hands as well.

[@mbj-uo8lt]

@@GreasyBaconMan Thank you for saying this!

[@dorlistorres8034]

on point 💯❤

[@Nat-oj2uc]

That's why there should be and will be shift to valuing actions instead of words again💯 It's been a period of too much talk and not enough action in society because talkers were overvalued and they often are narcs. Thats why narcissism been thriving. People wanted a dream and narcs are dream sellers

[@yuu_miran]

They evolve. They realise esp covert ones they have sth more solid to get weight and reputation so they are able to do things for you in many cases. We need much more complicated criteria than just actions

[@Nat-oj2uc]

@@yuu_mirannarcs are all about words. If they evolve they won't be narcs anymore

[@GeniusBarLiveMusic]

Thankyou Kevin for all your great content

[@TheHelenhunter]

Great topic. Thanks for addressing it 👏🏼💪🏼

[@JonesteadDucks]

I have lived with a golden rule that words are bs since I was a teenager. How is it I have been entangled in so many narc relationships till the age of 42?

[@bserene6328]

I appreciate your vlogs Kevin. Thanks for the advice!

[@VonDutch4.1]

I am a proud family member of the Royal We 🌟 I appreciate this video so so so much 🙌❤ This channel has been such a Blessing 💯 THANK YOU 🕊

[@juneelle370]

Yes ~ actions and patterns ~ and statement analysis study is empowering too

[@TheHelenhunter]

I started working on my exit, I feel free already. I already have a place in mind, I just have to pray more about it to figure out if it's the (right) one.

[@tressycapps]

I listen to every word people say. I can immediately break down the veracity of words used by an individual by the words they choose. I worked in the field for 30 years so body language is easy to disseminate.

[@TheHelenhunter]

Love it. What did you work in? I studied a bit of linguistics but haven't had the chance to start a career. But I still have the intention to start something in the field.

[@tressycapps]

@@TheHelenhunter I had an attorney service. I am a human lie detector. I developed priceless skills that I use in my daily life now. It was a tough profession and I do not recommend it however I developed these skills that are a positive benefit.

[@TheHelenhunter]

@@tressycapps Thanks for sharing

[@hopeinhumanity.]

Yes!

[@LeslieGonzalez-t5z]

I live in STL. I love it! Kevin do you have local support meetings? I went to a local narcissism class/support group at a church. That's how I heard about you. You could be a guest speaker in this once a year class. You have reached so many ppl on KZbin including me but if you speak at local events I'd go & bring friends for sure!

[@heathermixson1265]

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@traceywilliams5427]

I would really like to talk to you about this new matter cause I need help

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

Yes is is beyond words Kevin ….. he is going to kill is all ! ‼️‼️‼️‼️ 2:37

[@vivianebuelens9512]

Ooh I see ! 2:17

[@piscesgoddess4314]

Words hold no weight… I need actions…# I’m looking👀

[@xxfox]

I used to live in St. Louis… ❤

[@pamelamoore6239]

I don't think there are narcissists in the back row ...a narcissist wouldn't listen to touchy feely talk. You can't blossom where you're not appreciated. Don't engage with them.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

My father and his wife would say you know we love you right Josh. I responded with no you dont because if yall did both of you wouldn't have done to me what you both did.

[@Emily-c4g2l]

My husband will go off with insult after insult. He believes he is justifying himself by calling me a B because I was emotionally triggered by his insults and called him an asshole. I told him calling me the B word is degrading and disrespectful. If you want to call me a name in return so your ego feels better you can call me an asshole. I won't get mad. He tries telling me a name is a name and it's my fault that I don't like him "telling it like it is."

[@jameskeating4719]

Word salad of the educated Narcissist or lower educated impulsive aggressive narcissist where they just dominate conversation without listening word salad just use words to make others think they are unworthy

[@dontbeadogsbody3564]

Watch their feet (behavior), not their lips.

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

Kevin I need to talk whit you ! And it is urgent ‼️ you are right ! The 10:24 words don’t match their actions! 10:33

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

They hate being in my presence. Of course they still give that disgusting smirk thinking i dont know whats going on. I could easily embarass sooooo many of them but i choose not to.

[@island661]

I smirk back at them.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

@@island661 I'll smile real big back at them when they smirk.

[@island661]

@@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht Yas!! 👍🏻

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

Words Mather Wi know ! They hurt’s in reverse words are swords 🗡️

[@gloriagottschall5615]

Kevin I need your help with this please

[@margiechism]

Sharing what I wrote on another channel today: Bull shit ■ dries on the backsides of cattle; what you 'see and walk around' on the surface, know [t]hat creature is sporting a rearview of flies that their attemps of tail swinging is an automatic tick. M

[@SheynaVVV]

Do you give a discount if I spend the entire session sobbing uncontrollably?

[@lottieallenisworthytv6394]

my husband says you might not believe me I love you. what's mechanical about it, (not believe) boo! boo! the fool think I BELIEVE it.

[@marybethmooney7490]

& Hopefully, WITH YOUR FEET!!! 👣

[@larshesthaven5828]

What do you mean I am close to everything?? Do you just mean discuss it in your daily program and try it out for money? Can you explain?

[@ZOELIFE23-365]

WELL YEA, YOU GOTTA SHOW AND PROVE... IF YOU ARE DROWNING CALLING FOR HELP, YOU NOT GONNA BE SAVED BY SOMEONE SAYING "YOU NOT GONNA DROWN???!!! OR YOU WANT SOMEONE RUNNING TO YOUR RESCUE!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!?????? STOP BEING SO SHALLOW PEOPLE (PUN INTENDED🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀🏊‍♀

[@Jane-z9d]

God how about the “debate” between Trump and Biden? And the comments about.

[@meanhead1337]

#Trump2024

[@rishabhtripathi3859]

5:03 That love you voice is so irritating I have been hearing for so long, it always makes me poop.

[@jaymockingbird7588]

Good one😂

[@Louise-t9g]

I saw this at the perfect moment. Serendipity at its finest thank you 🤍