Navigating a "Private Not Hidden" Relationship (with Becca Tilley)

Becca Tilley joins Mal this week to discuss her relationship with "Lesbian Jesus" Hayley Kiyoko - how it started, the conversations that led to keeping it private for years (but don't worry, Taylor Swift knew the whole time), and the challenges that came with being two public figures in a private relationship.
Becca chronicles her journey from her southern, Christian upbringing, going on The Bachelor (twice!) and finally falling in love for the first time... with a woman.
Follow our guest Becca:
Instagram: / beccatilley
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@beccatilley5?...
Check out her podcast "Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad" open.spotify.com/show/60H5719...
Don't forget to rate us on Spotify, leave a review on Apple, and share this episode with a magician!
Follow the podcast:
Instagram: / madeitoutpodcast
TikTok: / madeitoutpodcast
Website: www.madeitoutpodcast.com
Follow Mal:
Instagram: / malglowenke
TikTok: / malglow

[@Critic115]

Fell in love instantly but took 6 years to move in, that's like a reverse uhaul

[@Empressco]

Uhaul reverse 😂

[@beccabeccabecca222]

I’ve so been looking forward to this one!!! Becca is such a ray of light. I would love if she wrote a book one day because her story (and her sisters’ stories) is soo interesting to me, and I think could speak to a lot of other queer Southern and/or religious people. Yay!

[@FutureXXD]

I just love Becca's energy and how cute her story with Hayley is hahaha

[@uscitizen3252]

As a queer woman, I really relate to Becca's Christian background and upbringing. Hearing her experience is so helpful and encouraging.

[@Raddiebaddie]

7 husbands of Evelyn Hugo is SUCH a good book 📚 💚

[@bruadarach9758]

Adore that this was part of her story ❤ I read it at a similar point in coming out journey and the last line genuinely hits you like an epiphany

[@PNWTheresa]

One of my favorite interviews of them all. Watched to the last second.

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

so happy!! i loved this conversation 🥹

[@kinglear7]

Becca is a great conversationalist

[@carouselleosoteo4836]

Fantastic interview! Becca is still an amazing role model! Would love to see Hayley on at some point ❤

[@random_stranger2584]

What a ridiculously enjoyable 42 minutes of my life lol. Thanks for making it happen!

[@kileybatchelor]

I love the story telling element of these interviews. Don’t get me wrong, the advice interviews are nice, but there’s just something about hearing gay stories. I didn’t know Becca before this and I knew of Hayley but not much. The cute stories in this interview made me so giddy and could visually see them play out in my head. I literally gasped out loud at the pulling in for the kiss at the apartment

[@benedictevi5007]

Didn't want this conversation to end

[@Cascadianwa]

I want to know how you end up with 3 gay sisters in one family, what a dream lol

[@blueski3412]

A conservative family too lol the irony.

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

literally my dream!!!

[@kalancosta7650]

@@blueski3412yeah I hope the parents treat them well

[@BenDover-dd4vg]

That’s how my family is 😂 My parents have 4 kids, the only 2 daughters are both gay. Then the only female cousin we have is gay, and the only aunt we have is gay too. It’s crazy

[@Tonehurtt]

When I met my girlfriend now my wife. She had three sets of friends that were twins and they’re all gay.

[@mimicolapietro2086]

Becca is just delightful to listen to! Loved this episode! Thank you Mal for this wonderful podcast! It’s the best! I so look forward to Tuesday’s!! 👍🙌❤️

[@naturenut7695]

That was hilarious yet deep in parts of it. The jug being your support system. 😂. I laughed so hard. But I'm sure a lot of us can relate with this conversation. I will forever look at The Simpsons now as the yellow people 🤣.

[@hiportugal]

the yellow people!! 😇

[@dianlizeth7021]

OMGGGGGGGG, I love Hayley and Becca !

[@BananaRunt]

Let’s do this. Now I have what I’m listening to on the way to work today. Yay 🎉

[@zeesangs_SA]

I’m literally listening to it on my way home from work 😅

[@someonesomehow379]

omg I love how your story played out!! it's so wholesome 😭

[@3Oh3metrostation]

Been here since the beginning of the "Scrubbing In Podcast" days and watching becca and hayley drop hints of them dating to then finally come out. It's been a crazy and fun journey to follow. So cool to see her now on podcasts in queer spaces talking about everything. Could not have imagined this outcome 6 years ago 🤯❤

[@yokoohellno]

Yay been looking forward to this one since you teased it ❤

[@user-pd2zm3vj8p]

Becca, you should write a book one day! You and Mal have the best podcast rhythm & flow. Becca you inspired me that there is true love and hope out there. I loved also how supportive your sisters were/are. I am so glad you met and fell in love with Hayley. Becca, you are right life is so so short it's important to be grateful in life. Whoever reads this message and may be going through tough times...keep your head up....be yourself...create a support system...there's so much to look forward to....this world needs who you are.

[@zanellenokuphila4640]

This is my favourite podcast forever love it,from when it starts it has grown a lot,Hi Mal and Becca.

[@KathleenMint]

The laugh in the intro is life

[@Koah1111]

I appreciate the encouragement of mediation and therapy to support building communication with folks(not just romantic ships, this can be applied to any relationship you are invested in).

[@user-gk7ik2rk7c]

This was a great interview! Would love to hear you interview Hayley get her side of some of the same topics discussed! They seemed to start their relationship with very polarizing views but made it work despite their differences on really big topics.

[@madelinealleman3730]

Did not realize she was from Louisiana! Represent 🏳️‍🌈 The Southern Gay Experience is real 😂

[@annette0715]

Loved this conversation and Becca! ❤

[@adelphipanthers]

I love Becca and Hayley relationship, they are so loving to each other . This is like the best interview on your podcast. I know they had past lives together.

[@rush_amanda]

Wow this was so good! What an awesome, positive, open minded person 🙌🏼

[@arianed6121]

LOVED this episode ❤ thank you girls for making this happen xxxxx

[@DevourKeLenyora]

SO good! The dope energy just jumps out the screen yk? Thank you ladies.

[@miznikki2u]

Awww, great convo!

[@carolineharrhy8796]

What a great episode! So funny! She’s lovely

[@FM-tx5es]

That was a very entertaining and insightful interview. Wonderful!!! Well done to all

[@Raddiebaddie]

9:51 omg so jealous that would be so nice to have siblings to go through everything with

[@FlyMeToWonderland]

What a wonderful episode! Thank you! ❤

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

thank you for listening 🫶🏼

[@julzamidala2865]

Such a great ep! 🤩

[@ellouisebadger849]

I love Becca Tilley and Hayley Kiyoko together. I'm so happy for them that they have each other ❤🏳️‍🌈

[@brinabridget]

🤭🤭🤭🤭 the introduction for me

[@Reed5016]

Honestly, I can understand why a queer couple would want to have a discreet relationship. Whether they be in the public eye or not. Being out of the closet is scary, especially when it comes to family (and especially when that family is conservative).

[@neddyfernandez1875]

Great conversation!

[@KayBassie]

Wait Becca was a fan of #Calzona (Callie and Arizona fr Greys Anatomy)...love her even more. I love when Becca tells the story of how she met Hayley with some added layers. 20:01 has me CACKLING😂 That's interesting, this Christian woman dating a woman for the 1st time. A woman who is affectionately referred to as lesb!an jesus by her fans🤣 Finally moving in after 6 years, such a reverse for a queer rel. This is why coming out is an individual journey. Becca's story is a reminder to not out sum1 until they are ready. There's a lot of ducks to get in row for the people in ur life. OMG the end with Becca processing The Simpsons predicting the future...is HI-larious🤣

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

#calzona is SO funny

[@KayBassie]

@@MadeItOutPodcast One of the actors that portrayed this couple said that #Calzona sounded like a folded up pizza, like a calzone😄 But you know what, that's what the fans of this couple had decided on their ship name. It's probably one of the fun sounding sapphic ship names😄

[@tinalunati5086]

I think it is a really healthy choice prioritize yourself and your relationship before social media and public eye because FIRST you "don't have to" post anything if you don't want to and SECOND I will always have Becca in my heart because she never hide Hailey or herself, just keep it private. And I admire that ❤

[@moniquepieterse8729]

I listened to this episode 4 times!!!!!

[@Happy-your1]

Mal .. what a awesome interview

[@typicaltori_]

I love this podcast so much !!! Another great episode, I watched the bachelor the seasons she was on there -I just love Becca!

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

thank you for listening!! we definitely watched becca’s seasons too

[@kokoschultz]

I just did a 3 hour car ride and binging episodes like this that I missed, helped the time flyyyy 🕊️

[@jacee877]

Loved it ❤✌🏾

[@Iaukea-yw7dq]

Awesome love story of the beautiful Becca on an awesome podcast with the beautiful Mal that shares truths of love.

[@MustacheKat16]

The beginning is so accurate

[@user-rh7cp4ns5x]

Becca continue being you & your positive energy 💐

[@brinabridget]

Last part go me crack my jaws you need to protect the retinas 🤭jug of water we need to hydrate thank you 😂😂😂😂 It's a great story and some lessons to learn from it thank you #BECCA and #Made it out team ✌️✌️ peace and love wuhu wuhu ✌🏿✌🏿

[@sarahbenmusic]

What a great personality!

[@BluesyHearts]

Wow ❤beautiful story

[@pottertardis9706]

that was so good

[@Fire.and.Knives88]

That was a lovely story. I don't watch The Bachelor, so I didn't even know who she was, but she's lovely.

[@korribier-lo3nm]

I love this interview. Love Becca and JoJos relationship

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

Becca is so down to earth smart and beautiful so happy for her and Hayley another amazing episode love this podcast so much so happy to hear the experience and stories of different queer humans truly inspiring and meaningful ❤ 🌈

[@religiondoesntpaytaxes7861]

Been a fan of Hayley for years but this is the first time I'm watching Becca. She sounds really smooth and overall just mature. Hayley hit a jackpot with her.

[@3Oh3metrostation]

40:34 "wingstop mostly" lmao

[@dilaurentis8744]

loved it

[@LunarticDiaries]

I feel so happy that Hayley have such a great girlfriend, Hayley is really important for me, she really save my life, her work and her true make me feel like it was okay to be me, I love Hayley very much

[@akanchharai8194]

Becca is so elegant 🫶🏻

[@SVega-v3w]

Super likeable personality

[@janieyacca]

This made me genuinely laugh. Thank you both. Now going to research The Simpsons conspiracy..

[@darla510]

I adore her

[@LaLaLaLaLa8237]

Awww loved this.... Becca's amazing! I'm glad her coming out was so positive, reminds me of Chrishell's which seemed much more 50/50 unfortunately, I wonder if it would've been different if Gflip didn't identify as non binary, just because that's such а new thing and not as understood. Who knows anyways. I'm happy for the positive and I'll go toe to toe against any negativity! Wish you all the best!

[@patriciag6030]

I think the difference is that Becca waited 4 years so even the potential haters understood that it was a serious relationship so they couldn’t really question it. Chrishell came out straight away and I remember a lot of the hate was calling it a publicity stunt or a midlife crisis. If Becca had come out soon after meeting Hayley I think she would have had a similar reaction.

[@korribier-lo3nm]

Love Becca

[@egla8099]

Not sure who’s the other girl but her laugh tho so cute🥰

[@Empressco]

I can’t imagine coming out as queer I’m a queer relationship when you’re famous with a conservative following and everyone knows you because you were on a show about DATING MEN AS A CHRISTIAN VIRGIN. It was hard for me to not judge her hiding Haley but truly she was out in every way except for the public eye which consists of potentially MILLIONS of JUDGMENTAL STRANGERS. Holy cow. I never thought about that. Also My Benadryl is kicking in. Cheers!

[@spider-woman9482]

Never watched the simpsons but I would say that show has been on the ball for a decade lmao.

[@zanellenokuphila4640]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🌈

[@lyssasletters3232]

❤

[@bastetowl3258]

how do you only know about the coach on glee when there was a whole lesbian couple on that show? lol

[@CandiCEOk33]

I just saw that Gabby Windey is also bi now after the Bachelor 😮😅

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

🙌🏼

[@Empressco]

Also I am mind blown by Becca having at least two gay siblings! I hope it’s not offensive to say I have always suspected that there is a “gay gene.” Growing up my mom said people turn gay because of all the plastic in our water and it never sat right with me 🙃

[@makestank4800]

This just proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that sexuality is fluid.

[@Andie08101]

24:50

[@stephencoulter9464]

How beautiful u go girl 👧

[@AngelaSara-taylor]

Bro can’t wait for amber lawes 😢 and Christina Ottrando

[@alexsolo5092]

sue sylvester was not a lesbian 😭😭

[@personone8415]

Wow, sibling are gay too! Same thing with me and my sibling. Both our parents very devoted Christians. So growing up in the Church is great, but yes. Once I was exposed to gays at my work place totally changed my perception. Especially the dont hate the person hate the sin. Everyone sins stop being so judgmental on this community.

[@stephenfiore9960]

1x(7/8/24)……..21:00…..

[@savingJobutupaki]

Becca is so hot!

[@deborahcoatsworthtingley-yn8bu]

I don't relate to the word queer because it doesn't spell love. My feeling show respect for the one that I love and made my life whole. She is no longer with me the cancer She in heaven God Bless everone.

[@NJVArtimations]

When they said that having relationship is hard wait till you're a Queer person

[@fuzz9736]

🤔 hmm living together?????? Something not RIGHT

[@Mensrea_]

Jug of water is pretty embarrassing 😂

[@hiportugal]

would likely ghost that one....

[@3Oh3metrostation]

But she made a good point about restaurant tap water 🤔🤔

[@mariatolis4529]

In my experience more homophonic the person they showing that side. Trying hide it.

[@Xuxa.do.volei1]

How long until I get her back with men again, I don't think it will be long

[@user-rh7cp4ns5x]

Becca continue being you & your positive energy 💐