LGBTQ+ Mental Health and Borderline Personality Disorder (with Jordan Werner, AMFT)

Jordan Werner (AMFT) discusses the employment of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in her practice: a modality developed for the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Jordan explains the symptoms of BPD, common traits to look out for, and the challenges of diagnosing personality disorders. The discussion also covers the intersectionality of mental health and marginalized communities, the perception of BPD as a patriarchal diagnosis, and the potential for recovery through therapy. Lastly, Jordan teaches us TIPP Skills for when we feel dysregulated and want to calm ourselves down.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
"I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD
Open Path Collective: openpathcollective.org/
Follow our guest @instadub92 and check out her website (she's taking new clients!)
Website: www.jordanwtherapy.com
Instagram: / instadub92
Follow the podcast:
Instagram: / madeitoutpodcast
TikTok: / madeitoutpodcast
Website: www.madeitoutpodcast.com
Follow Mal:
Instagram: / malglowenke
TikTok: / malglow
Don't forget to subscribe, rate on Spotify, write a review on Apple, and share this episode with your spouse!
For all other inquiries, please email [e-mail]

[@lorenvanderbyl]

I've absolutely enjoyed this podcast - all the way in South Africa

[@evaiscoolest]

No way, Im also from South Africa :)

[@kyra4904]

Same!!

[@ACityGirl127]

🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦

[@lizetha.g.2968]

Woooo😮😮😮... how is the weather? What is the best of South Africa?

[@kyra4904]

@@lizetha.g.2968 the weather is HOT! The best of South Africa is probably the food

[@alanamyles9220]

I love Made it Out, never miss an episode! I truly wanna thank Jordan for the way she articulated BPD, the history, the misconceptions, etc. She made a point to explain how privilege can stand in the way of mental health care and still provided resources. AND she recognized her own as well as the creator of BPD’s privilege. She explained the lack of inclusivity that was not included in the development and research of BPD and its effects. I felt seen and truly included as a person that’s intersectionality includes being a woman, black and queer because that doesn’t often happen so thank you Jordan! 💛

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

this makes me so happy. thank you for sharing your thoughts and for being a part of our community 🫶🏼

[@meredithcarter2775]

I think I have bpd and can’t afford therapy. Here are some things that have helped me lately - outlets for excess emotion like creating art in various forms - when experiencing an impulse triggered by an intense emotion, tell yourself you can fantasize about doing it but your actions are frozen until the feeling passes - have many relationships so you can spread the burden - have relationships with people who will give you negative feedback on your behavior and place boundaries on those relationships - when negatively splitting, avoid interacting with that person - practice getting rejecting and rejecting people (I guess you could substitute abandonment somehow. I do not have a fear of abandonment as I feel safest alone) - work hard to view and treat your favorite person as a regular person

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

wow thank you so much for sharing!

[@liamclarke64]

I really enjoy the "You Haul, You Ghost" section of this podcast - it must take you ages to think of the criteria. Thank You!!

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

omg it is lol. send us yours if you have any!!!

[@Haushinkax]

very refreshing to see a podcast that plugs open path collective and not betterhelp!! open path is amazing

[@mizzmatrix]

Happy 6 month anniversary of the pod! I've been enjoying every episode since the beginning and it has helped me immensely. Thank you so much, Mal. Much love from Norway ❤

[@helpfuliavids]

Hysteria also has a lot of overlap with endometriosis. Back then it looked like the women were physically healthy and their pain wasn't real. Its still a struggle to get a diagnosis because of the patriarchy

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

Love been apart of this community i finally feel like i have a place to speak and not to judged or ashamed of who i am and how i feel thank u ❤❤❤

[@zeesangs_SA]

Wow! this is soooooooo informmative! Thank you so much for the enlightenment, i literally saw most of these traits from friends and people I've encountered in the past. Also congratulations on. the 6 months! Keep going strong, I wish ya'll success, I really enjoy this podcast!

[@madziaczarnecka]

Happy 6-month anniversary! 🥳 I’ve wanted to leave a comment or a thank-you note many times, and now seems like the perfect moment. I've been on the 'Made it Out' journey for 5 months, working through each topic alongside you. It’s not always easy to revisit some of these subjects, but the rewards at the end make it worthwhile. As I often tell myself, 'succeed or learn,' because there’s no failure. Thank you for helping me close, learn from, or succeed in many of the rainbow-lesbian topics you cover here. I’m so excited and looking forward to the upcoming episodes. Regarding geography, I don't expect anyone to know where Poland is on the map, but I'm still sending lots of rainbow hugs from this little spot in the universe! 🌈❤ 🤗

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

i’m so happy we could be part of your journey🥹 thank you for being part of our made it out family🫶🏼 gonna google where poland is right now!

[@chloes228]

Thank you for talking about this and for bringing Jordan on. I love this so much and will be watching on my night off tonight :)

[@kelliecarpenter3141]

Thank you for this, BPD is something my sweet daughter has and I want to learn to support her in every way. ❤

[@brinabridget]

Cheers to the 6months in service made it out Thank you host Mal, M.jordan and the entire team for painting walls of gay community with encouraging, good content #BIGUP peace and love 🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿wuhu wuhu ✌🏿

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

thank you for being here with us!!!

[@Dani.P.F.]

It's so confusing. On the surface BPD seems so similar to other mental illnesses or disabilities like ADHD and autism, but it's so different when you actually meet someone with BPD (especially unmanaged) or hear someone describe their symptoms/experience. While overlap is obviously possible, the differences are really distinct.

[@evaiscoolest]

I love having this podcast just play in the background, its so entertaining and the guests on here are all so interesting, much love from South Africa.

[@junevertucci3420]

Another fabulous episode. I love this podcast and it's diversity of content from episode to episode. Mal is the consummate interviewer; great questions followed by engaged listening. Jordan was very informative.

[@hiportugal]

So glad you enjoyed ❤ we try to keep each episode topic unique and different - let us know if there's anything particular you'd like us to cover!

[@L._._]

This was very informative and lovely ! I have a friend, I wish she could see a therapist like this.

[@cathywillson1683]

I appreciated this guest's knowledge and the relatable way she shared information. She'd be a great teacher! Thanks for having an episode about mental health!

[@chack4845]

Your show is more and more interesting, only thing I would love you to make it perfect is when I see you interviewing #Mathilde 😊

[@hiportugal]

My angel 😇One day!!!!

[@chack4845]

@@hiportugal so you said😜

[@brinabridget]

In for this ✌️✌️🥵🥵

[@ashleydailey7844]

I have an ex with bpd and other things and a few years ago his actions caused my parents to kick me out and take my phone and car and cut off all contact with me at that time and I have never forgiven him. After hearing this I feel a lot more understanding and forgiveness towards him.

[@zanellenokuphila4640]

Congratulation Made it out,for reaching 6 months and for the lovely podcast cheers 🥂 to more and more episodes.Thank you Mathilde,Mal and all the other people that made this happen lot of love guys🎉❤

[@hiportugal]

Thank you to our audience!!!! Here's to another 6 months!!!!

[@twelfthself]

in my opinion : probably the best episode so far ! as someone who struggles w bpd and is also queer - i found this to be very very affirming and well-nuanced

[@mintchocolate8198]

Your podcast is helping me in my healing journey in so many ways. Thank you for making these inredibly real and helpful conversations with people on such important topics. ❤

[@Emily-hf9ud]

I am a licensed therapist in Arkansas, and loved this episode! Another thought too for those who can not afford counseling and believe they have BPD and have experienced relational trauma/domestic violence (which many have) can reach out to local non profits that have services for those that have experienced that specifically. Often times they offer free counseling, and at the very least if you do not meet criteria in order to receive services with them they can help point you in the right direction. Generally they have a list of resources of other organizations in the area that are no cost/low cost.

[@wildestdreams_]

thank you for this episode!!! ❤❤❤

[@jenniferb4527]

This podcast is everything! Thank you for the quality content!

[@vbellido]

Great talk, really enjoyed this podcast!!

[@bohemia9956]

Having had a silent bpd mum led me to having several bpd partners led me to becoming a therapist and i aswell find a lot of sexual abuse in early childhood, masked autism, especially in woman and CPTSD which is all so intervined and when the major meltdowns are missing its sometimes really hard to get it right but as they all steam from the same wound sometimes cleaning the wound without a label is whats needed.

[@Biglex222]

Great, guest with a lot of knowledge!!

[@Reed5016]

36:31 My issue with AA is that it’s a very Christian based organization, and they rely on people believing in their religion to get things done. And a large tenent is giving control to god, because they tell you that you’re addiction is beyond your control. This is why so many people with addictions end up becoming hardcore conservative Christians who believe things like abortion being bad or that gay people are sinners.

[@peggynulsen1365]

Have to disagree with you on this point. As a proud lesbian of 71 and 37 years of sobriety in AA, who is also an atheist , I have never felt that AA is religious in any way. All I needed to figure out is that I could not stop drinking on my own accord, no matter how hard I tried and AA offered me a way to change my life trajectory. Millions of people have found AA and NA invaluable in achieving a clean and sober life. Until you stop putting toxic substances into your body and allow your brain to heal, you cannot make any progress on mental health issues.

[@Reed5016]

@@peggynulsen1365 I’m really glad it worked out for you, and those you know. I think it really depends on the person, and the situation. Some people are more emotionally malleable, and a lot of people I’ve known have gone down the alt-right rabbit hole due to AA. I’ve even met people who tried to ask the court if they could go to a secular therapist, and they were denied, and told they had to go to AA. I’m still very glad that you had a good experience though, and that you’re currently sober. I’m also glad you’re not down the alt-right religious pipeline.

[@anniesosa1680]

I love this podcast so much! It’s helped me out so much coming to terms with my sexuality and now given awesome information about a subject that is often seen in a negative light.

[@helenlawson8426]

Still watching, still learning. Madly in love with this show. x Although I did already know where China is. 😆 Like Jordan I grew up in family that should have made it easier for me to come out. I'm in the UK and my Dad was even an Atheist which in the 70s was rare even here. In my case what I was hiding was being trans. No one ever needed to tell me what I was thinking was wrong, I had a sister & brothers so I knew what my path was going to be, plus none of them at least openly talked about similar feelings to the ones I had. So in a time of little information, especially any good n healthy, it pretty much turned me into my own personal transphobe, hating on myself for decades. The pendulum we take between acceptance & denial is going to cause mental health issues, and it did. One thing I've learnt from this is the breathing exercise my voice specialist has me doing is not so much about breath control as I thought but more to do with calming me down so I can practice better. x

[@MariaTheDrummer]

Great podcast! Jordan mentioned that people desire happiness and a good life, and I agree. However, for me, achieving happiness and a good life should not come at the cost of harming others, myself, or any marginalized group. Unfortunately, the current political climate in the USA doesn't seem to allow for much nuance or complexity in these discussions.

[@zdurancely]

I love you guys! Thank you for making this podcast!! ❤❤❤

[@moon_mama444]

This was so good. Thank you

[@missy_mutlylaf1]

This podcast is fantastic!

[@RayHeart-uj6qt]

Am I the only one who can't seem to find lgbt friends on insta I have literally no one to talk to and my mental health is killing me

[@KayBassie]

38:46 Same here I need to work on that as well. I also realize I'm always wanting the world to be a better place (eg constantly thinking "ok society will be a more progressive in the future, things will get better for the lgbtq community/r@cism/homophobia will die out in the future" etc) and when I come across people that are anti that it enrages me. I have high blood pressure so thats not good. Esp with what is currently happening to people in the Congo and Palestine and not seeing the international community bring actual justice to the perpetrators, my anxiety and rage increases, and so does my blood pressure. I've been listening to podcasts since 2010, and this is probably the first time a podcast has hit my major intersectionalites (being a lesbian+mental health etc) Another great ep, as I'm playing this while I'm working at 4am😊

[@user-dr6qh5zo6r]

Love her such a great episode ❤

[@fortunate22]

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD often struggle with intense emotions, impulsive actions, and a distorted sense of self. The exact cause isn't fully understood, but it's believed to be a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors. Traumatic experiences, such as abuse or neglect during childhood, are commonly associated with its development. Additionally, certain brain abnormalities and family history of mental health issues may play a role. It is common in Women and people can have BPD traits but not disorder

[@fortunate22]

Mood swings fluctuate frequently in a day to the point of people walking on egg shells around someone with bpd

[@user-hv2qo5fx8z]

Amazing amazing episode . I’m sending it to everyone lol

[@yky01]

Love this thank you ❤❤

[@user-ze7xc1kh6s]

WOW AS A DIAGNOSED 10 YEARS BPD AND RECENTLY COMING OUT AS BI, THAT WAS AN AMAZING EPISODE. I'M NOT A BELIEVER OF THERAPY, BC I'VE HAD A REALLY BAD EXPERIENCE, WHERE MY THERAPIST ACTUALLY TOLD ME HE COULD NOT HELP ME ANY LONGER, AFTER A SUICDE ATTEMPT AND HIM BEING THE ONE WHO DIAGNOSED ME AND THE ONLY THERAPIST I REALLY TRUSTED, IT WAS THAT MUCH WORSE!! I REALLY WISH I COULD HAVE HAD JORDAN AS A THERAPIST, I WOULD DEFINITELY PROBABLY GO TO THERAPY THEN, BC IT SEEMS LIKE JUST TALKING WITH A FRIEND. WISH I TRULY THINK THAT IS ONE OF THE MAIN ISSUES IN MENTAL HEALTH OR ADDICITIONS EVEN....IT'S THE ABSENCE OF SOMETHING..USUALLY THAT SOMETHING IS SOMEONE!!! DAMN...JORDAN ARE YOUR PRICES NOT A MILLION DOLLARS AND ARE YOU TAKING NEW CLIENTS? LOL I THINK I DON'T NEED THERAPY...BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS ABSOLUTELY SET ON IT...AND WONT LET IT GO....SO I'M TRYING TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF AND YOU MAY BE THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD HELP ME DO THAT. ANYWAYS THANKS LADIES...THAT WAS AMAZING AND SUPER INSIGHTFUL AND JUST INSPIRING TO HEAR SOMEONE WITH ACTUAL KNOWLEDGE AND OPINIONS THAT AREN'T JUST ALL NEGATIVE AND STRICTLY BLACK AND WHITE WHEN IT COMES TO BPD....BC THAT IS THE WORST AND WHAT TOO MANY PEOPLE...INCLUDING A TON OF THERAPISTS ARE!! YOU HAVE DEFINITELY GIVEN ME A TON TO THINK ABOUT. I'M GRATEFUL FOR BOTH OF YOU! CHEERS!

[@rebelaney]

The specialties listed on my insurance's website for finding therapists, does not include DBT. Are there any other keywords that I might look for, which would indicate the therapist may specialize in it? Maybe substance use and/or bipolar?

[@hiportugal]

Let me ask Jordan and get back to you!

[@hiportugal]

Jordan suggests that you search for people with experience with BPD or emotional dysregulation, hopefully a couple of them have a DBT background!

[@rebelaney]

@@hiportugal will do! Thanks for asking =D

[@barnaliadhikary9421]

Every guest in this podcast are so freaking attractive and absolutely intelligent 😊😊👭❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@elissajo3671]

This was fantastic

[@0777sadie]

I don't have apple anything (except for the galas in my fridge), but I Love this podcast and I've turned my girlfriend on to it as well.

[@hiportugal]

We'll take an apple from your fridge instead! 🤣

[@MaralMir]

Great episode! I like this podcast! 👍

[@Astrid_Rory]

Can 2 people with BPD can be in a relanshionsip ?

[@SVega-v3w]

It is scary how young Jordan looks! Pass the skincare routine bestie

[@LisaSwerdlow-er2vy]

Love this!

[@Faaaa50]

Loved it❤

[@95Mor1010]

That’s my favourite episode, thank u so much. I don’t know where is China either 🤷🏽‍♀️😅

[@hiportugal]

It's so small it's easy to miss! 🤣

[@Sweaden]

Love from Australia 😊

[@Meredith_Paige]

By no means do I mean this to make fun/light of a very important topic/illness but did anyone else immediately think of the Depp/Heard trial?! I feel like I learned so much about Borderline from that trial when they were referencing the DSM, various diagnoses etc.

[@dakeli]

@Meredith_Paige, I was about to start my own post about exactly that topic. Dr. Shannon Curry, the forensic psychologist who diagnosed Amber Heard with borderline personality disorder, had incredible compassion and neutrality when she was on the stand describing what many of us who work in healing could see in Heard's behavior. I would add that it was hard to witness so many women come out in automatic support for Heard because of the MeToo movement's "believe all women" mantra. Heard fabricated so much and cried SA, doing an incredible disservice to the zillions of women who actually did experience partner domestic v. I really respect the therapist in this video - BPD is incredibly difficult to treat usually.

[@hiportugal]

@@dakeli Wow this is so interesting I had no idea!

[@dakeli]

@@hiportugal yeah, very intriguing topic! Complex.

[@guillaumekeulen219]

I thought that zizek said that thinking in nuances require that you can afford it! Thats why the girl with green hair immigrant and people in severe poverty related to their surroundings ( redbeck & hillbillies)

[@IAMAJNAMUSIC]

Mal Glow Winky is the Best

[@AnnieRud1]

It was a good talk. But I’m a bit confused on why this episode is just about BPD and not different ways queer trauma can show up. Because obviously BPD is only one way. And I would say not the most common either🤷🏼‍♀️

[@KayBassie]

The end has my CAKLING😂 with pointing out China on the world map. Maybe because Geography was my favourite subject in school, I never understood these viral videos with having Americans pointing out countries and continents on the map and not getting it. I now realize I need to hold space for people where it doesnt come naturally to them.

[@hiportugal]

hahaha thank you for holding space for our geographically-challenged friends!

[@KayBassie]

@@hiportugal 😄"And you know what thats called..growth"🤌😂

[@Raddiebaddie]

38:05 saaaaame

[@indomitusjane]

Great book recommendation - definitely a good read 📖🫡✨️ I had a friend pass it on to me, then I passed it along to another. Thank you for the episode 🧡

[@ltrillium1000]

3:1:5

[@virgilmcclendon5072]

😎😃😊😜😍😘💖🌹

[@jamilaanderson7505]

Her favorite book is Britney Spears' book...nope...u-ghost...lmbo😆😂😆😂

[@rush_amanda]

I dont think i can find china on a map 🙃 I think I'm smart/successful but geography was always a terrible topic for me too lol ~questions overall intelligence and existence~

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

so glad i’m not the only one. truly finding my people 🫶🏼

[@Mensrea_]

Happy 6 months

[@LisaSwerdlow-er2vy]

Love this!