Navigating through Betrayal Trauma

[@patriciafry8634]

So true-may not get over it, but can get through it.

[@cmbr.]

🥏 thanks Darren, you are a rock star

[@gorunsko31]

This is an excellent explanation of what betrayal does to us. I appreciate it so much. Sadly I know betrayal by people closest to me, those I trusted unconditionally.

[@obgfoster]

Being laid off is a huge betrayal trauma.

[@sh6460]

Thank you. I have been bludgeoned with the forgiveness stick, the other parties refused to be accountable or change. One told me " I blamed you", the other one said he would go to his grave w/o forgiving me ( this over his unreasonable demands), so although everyone might think it's a lack of forgiveness on my part, it might be a lack of forgiveness on theirs, they just have everyone drinking the koolade. Surgeons mark the leg or arm they will be working on, sometimes people wrongly diagnose the problem and amputate the wrong limb.

[@mapleleaf902]

Your gentle guidance helps greatly. It helps give direction in accepting for what it really is and work on moving foward. I am a survivor. Thank you !

[@Creativecatalyst..]

He's On telegram

[@Creativecatalyst..]

He's On telegram

[@shannonluck5066]

I've found Being in the moment, is very healing... Frees one from drowning in the pain... Seek rest through Enjoyment. Music, Literature, Nature or just mindfully having a shower, brushing your teeth... Whatever works for you. Love yourself, 🤗 be kind and nurturing in your self talk. Pain when it flashes back, acknowledge it and feel it intensely for just 5 mins then go back to Enjoying the moment. You can just feel pain briefly... No need to invite it in, lol Relinquishing the pain takes the sting out. Anger and revenge hurt ourselves more than anyone else... Forgive yourself, you deserve it... Be Well, that's the best revenge...❤

[@donnydutchmen1284]

Forgiveness often means having peace with the situation, because you learned how to cope with it and it doesn't bother you any longer in terms of emotions or behavior. You know what happened, you acknowledge it, and you let go of everything regarding this person and situation. Doesn't mean you don't blame them anymore, it means that you have said goodbye to them and also the anger attached to them in order to be able to go on with your life and feel liberated from the situation. That is what it means for me. People hurt me bad. These things can never be undone because it shaped my personality. Yet, become aware of your own ignorance and learn to spot what behavior of yourself is related to those experiences in order to be able to change them. This is very difficult. Yet crucial to overcome your fears and the limitations gained from them. Only than can you become a better person.

[@dubliner1303]

Thank you for your work Darren. You are lovely.

[@joedoe8558]

Got ptsd from this. It's a journey for sure but it gets better with time.

[@christineplaton3048]

When i write mybook. I will write about this topic. You never forget.

[@jimnicosia5934]

That's a tough one. I wonder if their is ever a cure for heart break & years lost.

[@wilmaduncan7070]

I have suffered so much heartbreak I understand what you are saying

[@wilmaduncan7070]

So true we need to grow from the traumas

[@wilmaduncan7070]

I ruminate a lot it's so painful trying to find some peace

[@mchave71]

Thankyou Darren. For me personally this is one of your best ones yet. It helps me work through my thoughts and feelings and have the courage to move forward. Thankyou once again for explaining tactfully a very complex multi faceted subject. 😊

[@LinBouthillierCTRC]

I appreciate how much of yourself you shared with your viewers in this video. You’re a charming and compassionate man and I am very grateful for your expertise. Many, many thanks Darren. Your videos have helped me recover from long term pathological betrayal from a malignant narcissist. (dark triad) Some days are still difficult but I understand it’s a process. ❤

[@susanparker9877]

I did just pick up a book yesterday, for the first time in over a year. I was not able to read anything more than a recipe before that. Belonging to a book club, but not reading the books has been awkward. I needed to be with the people, so I still went. Happily, we often got so caught up talking that we forgot about the book anyway. That was therapy! This coencides with the closing of the court case against the ex who stalked me for a year and a half. He's also moved far away. Finally, I know he's really gone. I can breathe again.❤

[@licmir3663]

Don’t waste time with revenge or bitterness. They are not worth it. Don’t even try to reason with the betrayer and trying to understand what happened from him or her. Take the time cry and be upset, then to heal and later to move on. Life really continues. Don’t get stuck.

[@chocolatesugar4434]

❤

[@marys33794]

Thank you for sharing that. Great words of wisdom there. ❤

[@aliceroberts1980]

This was very helpful thank you the thing about new experiences, learning new things sometimes and painless or fun

[@notagain779]

Thank you, Darren. I really appreciate all of the videos you make. Your content is really helpful to me, and probably to many others as well.

[@winter-qd4yw]

Thank you for doing this video! This is the type of Trauma I struggle with the most. Great description of what betrayal trauma is and thanks for the reminder of practicing mindfulness. For those who may want to learn more about Betrayal Trauma and Betrayal Blindness listen to Dr. Ramani’s podcast titled Navigating Narcissism”. Earlier this year she interviewed Dr Jennifer Freyd who you also mentioned in your live stream. Thanks again!

[@wilmaduncan7070]

Thank you this was amazing. You have helped me so much today 28.08.23

[@Marcia_Toms]

Darren thank you so much for this live, you’ve helped me think about distraction techniques and mindfulness. Also I realise it’s possible to let go. I will try my best. Thanks again.

[@Creativecatalyst..]

He's On telegram

[@robertmessam103]

Thank you for you're Post Mortem of this subject it is indeed valuable in removing he devolution that we have, that we can then evolve on a better understanding of what this is and how it effects us to become who we truly are. I call listening to classical music when we're young a maturity. I listened to Holst the Planets and still do with the added exception that it includes Pluto The Renewer and Osiris the asteroids. 😊

[@salomeclaire7663]

Great content, thank you! And you have such a down to earth way of presenting your videos.

[@ginaiosef]

Thank you for this helpful and informative video also! A few times watching and probably, a few more to come. If betrayal can be unintentional, I may consider excusing it, but it doesn't mean continuing a relation. Which leads me to forgiveness. I've been obsessing about forgiveness for some years now. I don't believe in it anymore. Looking back at its history, it never existed actually, people along the way twisted a meaning with another and put it names accordingly, even a price when you could pay for it. Who am I to forgive what someone else did or said? What power over this do I have? Why should I be responsible for someone else? I should be responsible only for me and my deeds. I can't change mines, how could I change someone else's? I believe people, or some of us only, came to consider the act of "forgiveness " equal to erasing. Like nothing happened. Or like somebody could. I can't consider that either because then everything becomes useless. Personally, I believe everything happens for a reason and serves a purpose, life is a journey, and Earth is a school, we come here to learn and grow. Nevertheless, even if I don't believe in a higher power, that could forgive and even erase something, that entitled us with the right to choose and make our own decisions - valid as for another as it is for me, - why should I forgive? What's the purpose of that? Who and what am I releasing from what? After a wrong doing comes repentance, in order to do balance the things. And belongs also to the owner. Repentance means one understood where and how and why, and of course, is not going to repeat that "lesson." Regarding someone else's, I let go ( is a process and a lesson also) for my own sake and health, I liberate the other as much as I liberate myself. We are entitled to our decisions. We are also responsible for them, we have to learn to live with them, not with others or others. We are the ones for whom we are fighting for and should. When we leave this world, that's all we take from here, ourselves ! So no, I don't believe forgiveness really exists. But I thank you again ,gratefully, for your videos, that are helping me in my learning and growing process! ❤️

[@SimoneJassmann-jr5bl]

Thank you again your an Awesome teacher of ways to understand and help solve these problems

[@gregoryritchie7852]

Thank you SO much for this video! I'm trying to learn all I can about betrayal trauma and apply it.

[@justice8563]

I dealt with so many different betrayals, one was with my sisters who called many of my friends to bad mouth me, because I moved away. I was sabotaged because of their jealousy and their feelings of losing control over me. The worst betrayal was when I moved back to my hometown. I was physically attacked by my brother. I had to call the police because it was happening more than once, and was becoming more aggressive and scary. One of my sister’s who was a witness as well as a instigator to the assault, lied to the police and tried to change the narrative that it was my fault so she could cover for my brother’s previous anger issues against me. When we went to court so I could receive my order of protection against my brother, she showed up and told me she will do whatever she can to protect him, even lie to the judge, if need be. The money my brother has is what helped her to decide to betray me. I don’t think I will ever get over it, or ever trust anyone in my family, ever again. I understand forgiveness is for me, but in this case it’s a constant sadistic pattern that my family feels entitled to continue and that become’s dangerous for me, if I ever let myself do that.

[@amberc3728]

Thankyou

[@wilmaduncan7070]

Do you do a one to one. I have suffered every trauma you mentioned. I am working through my last Truman but am stuck.

[@joydavis1670]

If you like opera.... Something tells me you could seriously sing some phantom of the opera, and you'd be darn good at it 😎😎😎

[@yvettjensen1678]

Thank you for your work, it’s really help getting perspectives and insight

[@MissVarghese111]

Even though the narcissist,or the group of people know that we know their wickedness,why do they continue???

[@justice8563]

Sounds like the perfect dog for you is, Scooby Doo. I hope you know that cartoon character, for it to make sense. 😊