Neighbor Makes Me Feel Like A Prisoner In My Own Home, She Won't LEAVE ME ALONE r/NeighborsFromH£LL

[@colleencook382]

When I lived down South (single woman-19 yrs old), we had a problem with pushy Jehovah's Witness. I spoke with my landlord and she said, oh I know exactly what you are ralking about. She said to go to the cheap bookstore in town and get a bunch of books on witchcraft and Satanism and leave them on your porch table. Worked like a charm, never got bothered again!

[@MarkNarrations]

Lol!

[@Darwinsmom]

@Colleen Cook: I had a friend who was bothered by JWs as well. She was wearing one of those one-piece velour rompers that was ultra-short and sleeveless when a couple of them came to her door. Without thinking, she grabbed large pillow from her sofa, clasped it in front of herself and answered the door. From outside it appeared that she was naked and only covered by this pillow. No JW ever came to her door again!

[@BrooklynNinenine580]

Smart

[@toysruskid5074]

Get a free book of Mormon from the Mormons, flyers from the JWs and a Pagan book cover. Offer the JW or the Pagan stuff to the Mormons and the Evangelical crappers. Offer the Book of Mormon to the JWs.

[@toysruskid5074]

@@Darwinsmom My sister isn't a good person(understatement of the decade), but no religious people bother her but her insane inlaws. Why? She answers the door naked.

[@redresearchanalyst]

First story, similar experience. I refer to people like this as “emotional vampires”. Sadly, they have no self awareness and miss social cues. The only way I found is to be quick, tell them no, they are over stepping the boundaries of what you will accept. There is no painless solution. Most people like this are lonely for interaction with others, empathize. Do not let them take advantage of your kindness though. It will affect your mental & ultimately your emotional health.

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

Learn how To be blunt. It can come off as rude but it should just be plain honesty.

[@jesumarijosef]

For Story #1, kinda wanna ask OP to channel her inner Gandalf when dealing with the balrog. YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS.

[@MarkNarrations]

I can see Gandalf now!

[@rooroolaboo]

The first story sounds like your neighbour is very lonely and is trying to make a bond that isn't there. Do you have relationships with the other neighbours? I guarantee you she has done this with other neighbours. Are there any local groups she could get involved with? It may be an idea to be firm and say "Sorry, I haven't got time right now" and "Thank you but honestly, I do not need this item.". You don't need to be rude, just firm. If she still refuses to take the hint, you will just have to be honest.

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

Sometimes being nice won't get the point across. You don't have to be rude persay but being blunt is a useful skill.

[@agathoklesmartinios8414]

For the last story, I think OP might have wanted to record some of those screaming matches of the neighbour at her son, and calling CPS.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Good lord - who stands in front of a neighbor's door for 10-12 hours? Are there no other neighbors for her to harass? That B be crazy. Wow.

[@joshuacook4116]

That last one had me going, "And you didn't think to call the Cops on her once?!" And the trailer park one is really interesting. If it's in the States, every state has a renters/housing board (in fact most cities have one). If the landlord isn't doing their job, just one phone call to them is all it takes. They will go to them with one warning. If it reported again, they get a huge fine and normally a suspension of their license.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

As a legal gun owner in the US I can confirm it is a felony to aim your firearm at someone like that story. However, op would have to have proof of what happened for the authorities to take the gun(s) away from his neighbor.

[@mk_gamíng0609]

Even tho I do not agree with the US take on gun control I do feel bad for good gun owners because you are often lumped together with some truly horrible people

[@SkyEcho751]

For story 4: Yep, they can and are supposed to take the gun. But sadly sometimes the police are just no good, and will willingly not do anything when more then enough warning signs are shown. The Florida school shooting was an example of such a case, where everyone dropped the ball on it.

[@Skyfire_The_Goth]

Only if there is evidence, like say a video, or other people saying they saw it, because, you never know if the person making the report is lying, and we can't have police taking peoples stuff just based on one persons word they did X thing with X object, if we allowed that there would be so many people making false claims just to get guns, cars, whatever taken away from someone they don't like.

[@TheAuthorgal]

Best way to stop this is right away. Someone tries to come in your house, challenge it. Ask them what they think they’re doing. Put it back on them. They’re the ones doing wrong, not you.Eventually, they’ll either get the hint, or you’ll have certified that you don’t want this person around you.

[@pla1nswalk3r]

Story 3: I'd send a message back saying: "While you're investing in the property, maybe invest some money in a TV, or some books, knitting supplies, anything really, so looking out your window isn't the only thing you do all day, that way you'll notice my ghosts less and less."

[@alakazamlover4908]

also that thing about removing a fence and footing OP the bill seemed...kind of sus

[@mbyerly9680]

The OP said she thought the mother was the crazy neighbor's caretaker. Talk to the mother to see if she can make the woman back off.

[@bluexwings]

I think OP should tell her neighbor that she needs space because she has been stressed (over non-specific stuff) and decompresses by being alone. Then start turning her down when she invites herself over. "Now's not a good time, Margaret, but it's lovely to see you!" She'll get the hint eventually. It's not rude to prioritize your own wellbeing and have healthy boundaries.

[@Undomaranel]

And if she doesn't get it, just keep it up. The hardest part is thinking you're hurting someone, but if you don't put your foot down you're really hurting yourself.

[@catwomanva]

For the annoying neighbor who won't go away... Lock your screen/storm door. When she comes over open only the main door, tell her you don't have time and have a nice day before closing the door. Don't give her the chance to come in on her own or invite herself in.

[@heleneclark563]

1st Story: Unfortunately, you can’t do that in a nice way. Being nice is what got you in the situation in the first place.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 1, be honest. Tell her that you're doing something or busy with work. Don't go out to make up lies about things. Tell her you don't want to talk to her and ask her to leave you alone.

[@fluffywolfo3663]

Can confirm story 1. Rudeness works. It doesn’t feel easy, but it feels better than having these people walk all over you.

[@teebear2271]

First Story: Yo I’m sorry but if I was that person in the first story “I’m telling her to “buzz” off” Or “Leave me the “buzz” alone”. Don’t have time for that Bs.

[@MarkNarrations]

No messing about :)

[@katiesmith2031]

I always do after getting stuck at 16 talking to someone trying to convert me to there religion I realized I don't have to put up with that crap

[@marshawargo7238]

@@katiesmith2031 My fil used to answer the door wearing a Velcro towel wraparound & tell the religious\solicitors "I'm a nudest & if u come in OUR clothes come off." It always worked.

[@JohnSmith-xq1pz]

Or use an air horn every time she starts talking...

[@redresearchanalyst]

Katie Smith, Or if they have Watch Tower booklet, take it, set it on fire, watch it burn with a maniacal look on your face till nothing left. Smile & ask if you can have another. Worked for my ex fil very well.

[@maryvalley4050]

I've had a few "interesting" neighbors myself. Once had two strange kids (maybe 8 to 10 yrs old) come to my door and told me they were new neighbors and their parents needed to borrow my car to go to the store. I declined this request and they blinked once then asked me if I could give their folks a ride to the store. I also declined this and they said OK and went on to the next house. I later learned they lived waaay up the street, over the brow of a small hill. Just seemed to be a way of life for them, what was the neighbors' was theirs too seemed to be the attitude.

[@lynnw7155]

We once lived in a row house in a bad neighborhood, like the last story. The guy 2 doors down used to run across the roof (all connected) and down into our back yard to get away from the cops. He was actually a better neighbor than the family with what seemed like a hundred bratty kids. Every day they'd walk down the street bouncing on every car, setting off all the car alarms.

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

@@lynnw7155 I can scare the kids straight. At least in Ohio I can. Open carry and castle doctrine can be used as a threat.

[@jaymel4691]

I am very much an introvert, so I really felt OP's frustration in the first story. As I am also a person who can be "too nice" and hates conflict, the best advice I can give us to be very blunt. You don't need to be rude but be very firm and keep repeating yourself until she gets the message. Practice saying "sorry, I can't right now", "I don't have time, have to go [somewhere]", "no thanks, I already have one" and other similar things and start moving/walking away while saying it so she will know it's a dismissal. Don't let her in your house, even if she has to talk to you through the window, and then do the dismissal again so she won't keep trying to converse with you from outside. She is probably lonely and unable to understand social cues for whatever reason. Maybe she is not neurotypical and that is playing a part in her behavior, we don't know. I don't think she is being deliberately rude. I also doubt you are the only person she has done this with. Be firm, and blunt, and don't allow her back in your house since this will only encourage her. Keep your door locked at all times so she can't just walk in whenever she wants.. Repeat yourself as many times as necessary and she will eventually give up if she isn't getting whatever she wants from you. Good luck.

[@tamarasmith9060]

The tresspassing kids: I'd treat them like stray cats. Don't hurt or threaten, just turn a water hose on them until they leave on their own.😈

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 4 is quite shocking to me. I have a carry conceal license. First thing we are taught in the class is to never pull our gun on someone unless we are in imminent danger. Pulling a gun on someone, without cause is an arrestable offence.

[@Lisapizzza]

While I've heard about the disadvantages of being blunt, but at least it would avoid having you be a prisoner in your own home..

[@sallybruska3245]

'Oh no, they're back!' That comment to taking the decals off the windows was very funny. I don't think he should be forced to take stuff down if it's not illegal.

[@charondusk5608]

Exactly. If it's not offensive or harmful, it should be perfectly fine and legal. Threatening to go to the landlord to get OP to take them down is 1) Blackmail and 2) Very unlikely to have any affect, depending on the landlord.

[@lisemartino1995]

First story: it’s rarely useful to give made up excuses for avoiding them, the truth is more effective. Try “you seem like a very nice lady, and seem to be quite lonely, but it doesn’t make me comfortable with you coming around, because I’m a very private person. Maybe you can find a nice community centre where you can make friends with people in the same situation as you.” She may make you feel bad about being direct with her, but you have been polite. You may have to sit with any guilt you feel about upsetting her.

[@ariannawills854]

For the first one. Cats are amazing cuddly Aholes. So cute! And demonic in the "I want attention NOW in the middle of the art project you're working on" I love them!

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: ugh neighbor's like that are horrible. You can be as quiet as possible and you are still a horrible monster but they scream and shout at all hours. Hypocrites.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Op needs to straight up tell her to leave them alone.

[@heleneclark563]

The last story, OMG!! She just met her new neighbor and asked him to borrow $6,000 !!!! From Joe OP described the neighborhood, did she really think that anyone just had $6,000 just laying around their place?

[@pinkfire2344]

So, I once lived in an apartment that was located very closely to a community college. Naturally, several of the tenants were college age. I had a particular group of guys living on the first floor of my 8 apartment building. To this day I have no idea how many people actually lived there, but there were at least 5 in the apartment at any given time. They liked to ride their skateboards at 3:30 in the morning and they'd go up and down the stairs to the second floor. The METAL stairs attached to my landing. I'm generally a chill person and like to give folks the benefit of the doubt, but by night 3 of this I was done. I went to the window and very calmly explained to them that if I ever heard them out there at that time of night again, I was going to run over that skateboard with my car. And if they were very, VERY lucky...I'd let them get off first. Never heard a skateboard after 9pm again.

[@cheskydivision]

Tell the neighbor being around her makes you sick, IE.. smoke allergy, pet allergy. When she has something for that tell her you don't need any meds for it if your not around it.. talk to the mom she sounds like she is on the spectrum. (Aspy mom).

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

It would be funny if she stopped smoking because of that and it solved nothing.

[@jdd9993]

Story 1: OP needs to set some boundaries with Crazy Neighbor. Even if you have to a little rude, reclaim your privacy.

[@joeblow5586]

Story 1 has 2 solutions. 1) you can set boundaries with this woman, and talk to her mom about any special considerations. Or 2) you can lie back down outside the front door, and continue to be so passive it's enraging you. figure it out, lol.

[@Mewse1203]

Holy shit...she waited 7 hours 😫 what a psychopath.

[@DystopianOverture]

That neighbour doesn't have a cream for everything, she's missing the thing that makes her go away! xD

[@duckingtonreads5156]

I haven't seen this guy since he was called daddy cringe and man its amazing that he still makes content! Keep going mark, you're doing great!

[@jamiewulfyr4607]

"Daddy Cringe"? 😂😂😂 Awesome

[@youarehere594]

The last one...I would've looked at her and said, if I had 6k, do you think I'd be living here? But then I'm snarky and it probably wouldn't have ended up any better than OP did.

[@DeidresStuff]

Omg that last one. I am a Christian and still wouldn't give some random weirdo that showed up at my door $6000, especially once she parked herself in front of my door for an entire day and screamed at me. She is not the person to be judging other people's morals.

[@jemase7931]

Sometimes, you just have to tell people to go home. No, you don't lend your books out. You don't have time to make her coffee. If you lay down in front of people, you can't complain when they walk on you.

[@madcatlady]

For the kids in yard, simple answer remote sprinkler system

[@rustyshackleford1697]

Oh my god I was laughing so hard at the idea of the person waiting for 7 hours in the same spot like a character in Fallout

[@lilmissiamsodonehere_2399]

For story five, how much trouble would OP be in if she hosed the kids who were in her yard? Maybe putting up a sign before hand and those who don't listen to the sign. Get the consequences.

[@viralmasquerade]

Drive away for fifteen minutes to get out of interacting with her neighbor? Guys, I don't think she's pretending to be crazy

[@doraynesemik1378]

Story 1: I feel sorry for the lady's situation and she should definitely set boundaries. The middle-aged women next door sounds terribly lonely and desperately needs some sort-of group or something to get involved in. I am somewhat of an introvert and recognize the signs of loneliness. She also probably needs some sort of therapy to help her cope (the neighbor woman). The prisoner could try to look out for flyers advertising local groups, church socials, etc and then gently pass these onto the overbearing neighbor. Tell her you've switched to tea and that you can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke in your house.

[@ruthbeamish8849]

Mental health issues, perhaps

[@sagejungwirth4155]

Story 1: its situations like these where my autism goes from disability to super power, I have no issue being blunt about my boundaries (not mean, just very honest straight away, I dont like beating around the bush).

[@halfdemonamanda]

That's a good way to get me to put MORE cute ghosts on my window lol

[@MarkNarrations]

MORE SPOOPY!

[@claudettewalker8358]

Story 1: Start by not opening the door when she rings??? Tell her you have stopped drinking coffee??

[@Kittinlil]

1st Story OP you need to set some boundaries. It's not rude to tell the neighbor, NO sorry now is not a good time, I have things to do. You are not required to be hospitable 24-7, nor is is it rude to not let someone take you or your home for granted. If she gets snarky. just lay it out there. You have days where you just are not in the mood for company. When it comes to her offering you unwanted advice. State I have my system of doing this this way. and it works for me. but thanks. Again you are not obligated to entertain their attempts to give you advice on every little thing.

[@karenvecchio2229]

Went threw this. I just started saying I'm really busy - don't have time to.visit. Sorry. She ended up getting mad ,& told everyone I was anti social.

[@danadelorey3203]

That first geez. I would have to move lol I couldn’t 😂

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Holy heck on the last story, like... what the heck? Where the heck is the CPS? or whoever? Those poor kids with a mother like that!

[@jessicawaldeback]

Omg, we had a neighbour like the one in the first story. We could never get rid of her, and she always invited herself in to our flat. We used to live in separate flats in the same building, but we moved to a bigger flat in a neighbouring house when I was 1 year old. I remember a story of when my mom just had arrived back home from the hospital after a surgery and my paternal grandmother was there to look after both my mom and me. I can’t have been older than 5 at the time, still in preschool. Well our leaching neighbour invited herself into our home even though it was important that my mom rested, which was impossible with her there. My grandma couldn’t get the neighbour to leave. But little 5 year old could. I somewhere got the courage to tell her: “You really have to leave now Elsie. You know that my dad doesn’t like it when you are here, and he will be home soon. You better leave now!” This is something that I have no memory of now that I’m 35, but I have no problem saying the same type of stuff now either. 😅

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

story 1- I recommend assertiveness training. having a weekly session with some one that knows how to say no will boost your confidence to at least set and keep boundaries. not all people can learn the same lesson once, this is why I recommend weekly sessions.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 4: so dude randomly pulls a gun on someone for no reason and they don't arrest him for brandishing a firearm or assault? Ridiculous.

[@LunaP1]

The only time police show up in numbers is when someone is stabbed or there was a shooting.

[@ryansheffield5930]

It’s a he said she said situation. No witnesses or cameras and none of the neighbors could identify the guy from the description. In this case it paid off to be a recluse, if uninvolved people were able to identify the guy based on the description then the cops could have and would have found a way into the guys house, found a gun matching the description and arrested him. If the cops have even the slightest reason to believe you then they will find a way, but in this case it was a guy saying an old man threatened him with a gun when no one else was around and left when yelled at to do so. I would be a little suspicious to.

[@alakazamlover4908]

@@ryansheffield5930 this is so ad but also so true

[@15oClock]

First rule of firearm training: Don't point at anyone or anything you don't intend to shoot.

[@2Cambell]

Story 1 - you don't have to have an intrusive neighbor to get a needy cat! Or you could just go full on weird and tell her that she's interrupting your masterbation schedule.

[@DeidresStuff]

With the ghost haters, I would dress up like a ghost 24/7. Just walk around in a sheet with holes in it and wave at them all the time. If they tried to stop me, I'd tell them it was part of my religion.

[@hamsterfangaming1441]

Im going to just scream no words scream when crazy neighbors show up psych em out

[@aaronsonger5582]

The Ghost decals in the windows story you send a reply back saying "not a problem they have been around for a while and was already thinking about removing them", then put up those jell blood hand prints and blood splaters lol.

[@Kiwi_Tea]

First lady sounds like she has a condition. Step VERY carefully on this one...breaking someone who is already broken can have dire consequences.

[@margarettburns7544]

Neighbor may be austic, maybe a high functioning form. Her problem is that she can't recognize social boundaries. Like personal space.

[@impishrebel5969]

"I'm too nice to tell this person they're being rude." Well, no... that's not being nice. That's being a doormat. People keep mistaking being a doormat for "niceness." Being nice was an entirely different concept 50 years ago that actually meant speaking up for yourself politely but firmly when someone is crossing the line.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: holy shit...is that first Lady my mom? Boundaries bud, Boundaries. You have to put your foot down. It is not "bitchy" for you to not take her encroaching on your privacy and personal space. Why is OP being being doormat? Edit: instead of toxic BS like avoiding and lying to her, how about OP just stands up for herself...

[@ScooterBond1970]

I was thinking, by this point it's probably too late for OP to take the "nice" way out of the situation because of letting yourself be a complete doormat for so long; just bite the bullet and tell her bluntly. But maybe I'm just too cynical.

[@Mewse1203]

May the Waffle Maker warm up in a timely fashion and cook to perfection.

[@MarkNarrations]

Cheers Dominic, I hope you're well my friend!

[@Mewse1203]

@@MarkNarrations you too! Have a good evening!

[@natashaellis7]

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day/night!

[@MarkNarrations]

You too Natasha!

[@LilChuunosuke]

Story 1: the trick that has always worked best for me when people i don't like won't leave me alone and won't stop stepping over my boundaries is I gray-rock them. Probably because I just have too much experience with abusers, but hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! I try to not be outright rude to the person if I can avoid it, but I'm not nice to them. I keep my facial expression fairly blank. Blunt answers like: right, sure, fine, no thanks, not interested. Give them NOTHING to bounce off so its harder for them to keep conversation. Don't wait for a polite opening to say you can't talk to them because they'll just make sure you dont get a word in to reject them. Confidently and punctually say slightly louder than them "sorry, I'm too busy to talk right now". Dont cave in. Dont even make eye contact ideally or at least dont hold it. Set a boundary and enforce it strictly and with as little emotion as possible. If you feel you arent capable of being this nice and blunt, I'm sure you'll meet someone one day who will change that for you lol. I'm well known in my community for being really sweet (and have a bad habit of catching the attention of racist old ladies who have nobody to listen to their ramblings) and I act completely different around the ones who step over boundaries.

[@doll_dress_swap1269]

People who are giving advice to try and lie or give hints to the intrusive nosy neighbor have clearly never dealt with someone similar to this before. If she is already this oblivious to basic etiquette and social boundaries, she’s not someone who will pick up on any communication that isn’t blunt and directly to the point. It’s not about being rude, but about helping her by meeting her at her level in a way she can understand. So just use a firm, even tone and straight up say things like “Stop. I don’t want you walking into my house”... “I am busy and do not want to talk to you right now because it disturbs my concentration. Go home right now please.” If she gets mad or keeps pushing, have a talk with her mother that she cannot be coming over.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Thanks Mark. Crazy neighbors love it. Be safe. Peace

[@mothertrucker936]

Story 1: had one similar and my goodness the lies she told nonstop. Exhausting especially since I like being alone. I told her that I’m busy. I mean a simple task as bringing out the trash and out she’d pop. I would suddenly get a message I had to take care of, etc. If you go outside you can say, I’m sorry but I need to be left with my thoughts at this time. Borrowed items: please return item, I promised it to my mother.

[@Darwinsmom]

I have a suggestion for the poor young woman being hounded by her neighbour. This worked for me. After my husband's passing I often ran into people who knew him if I left our home. They would always remind me of my loss and drone on about how much I must miss him. One day at Costco I was approached by one of these people. I hadn't been looking in her direction so didn't recognize her. She started harping on and I just looked at her blankly. She identified herself, and I apologized and said "sorry, I don't remember you". She spent a few minutes bringing up every social situation where we saw each other, but I just shrugged and said "sorry - drawing a blank". She just got snotty and "apologized" for bothering me. No worries, she was told. I didn't remember her anyway. In the year or so since I see her at Costco often. She shoots me the evil eye, but she no longer approaches me. Neither do the other busy bodies. Heaven!

[@LunaP1]

They sound like total nightmares. These people have a narcissistic saviour/projected victim complex where they want the mourning person to be miserable so they can swoop in and act like they are there for them. It’s a disgusting behaviour and glad you managed to put a stop to their nonsense.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

I send hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💜💜

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@illadiel6049]

Pointing a firearm at someone is generally considered assault (threat of harm) with a deadly weapon, but state and local laws may vary

[@Undomaranel]

1) There's a HUGE difference between being "b!tchy" (I hate cursing) and putting a foot down. Saying "I'm busy today" or, "Thank you for offering, but I already found some ideas and I want to try it my way," and if they insist followed with a, "Well, I'm busy with this. Once it's done maybe we can compare later. Have a good day!" is not being rude. Instead barging into someone else's home, acting like you own everything, butting into every activity, etc. is the rude behavior and NEEDS to be handled with tact. 2) If you feel too guilty over it, talk with her and decide one day/ one thing to do together as neighbors. If she oversteps, remind her about that activity and that she'll have to wait. (If she really is not quite mentally at adulting level, dialing it back to basics could be beneficial to all involved.) 3) LOCK. YOUR. DOOR. Only one to blame there is you. Keep it locked since she's not understanding basic social etiquette. If she insists or knocks too much, open a crack and tell her you're busy and that you'll catch up later (preferably at that activity you've already determined). 4) Honestly, you are likely her only social life, which is why her mom does nothing. They're using you and leeching you dry. Don't cut her out, it will be seen as spiteful, but establish boundaries. Maybe help her find other activities to participate in, there are countless church groups that do social activities. 5) I'm almost loathe to recommend this, but go watch the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode called "Putting Your Hoof Down"; it's on Netflix. You don't need to know the characters or world to follow that episode and it will clearly show you the difference between acting mean vs assertive and establishing boundaries, as well as using wordplay to your advantage. Sincerely, A former doormat. I grew up quick when my friends and family bled me dry, and have had to rebuild myself up after a lifetime of abuse. Learn to love yourself as much as you try to love others. Best wishes!

[@bunnyslippers191]

For the gal whose neighbors are demanding she take down her window decals, if she insists she put them up to keep birds from slamming into her windows and killing themselves the neighbors might back off. I know people who have decals on their windows for that very reason. They might then demand she get some "pretty" decals instead of the ghosts, but it's worth a try. They sound like the type of people who form HOA's so they can make everyone else make their homes look exactly like their home because they can't stand it if anyone likes a different look for their own home. Good luck with the HOA officer wannabes!

[@themousethatroared3371]

Story 1 forget the cats. Get a bull mastiff or a pit bull. A scary one and train it to growl and show its teeth every time she shows up.

[@sylvirsterling8275]

I hate random trespassers like wtf it don't matter if it's children, if something like kept happening and it's a property I own I'd just make a fence of roses and if that don't work then jumping cactus, I'd like to see them get past that.

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

I'm on time today! Named my new budgie Mango since he looks like an unripened mango. I shall initiate him to the waffle gang!

[@MarkNarrations]

Welcome to the wafflegang Mango! The very first budgie to be a part of it :)

[@nathanieltaylor3859]

you must find a way to show us the bird, soon

[@MarkNarrations]

@@nathanieltaylor3859 Good shout Nathaniel! We demand birb tax on twitter please :)

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

@@MarkNarrations I will make a Twitter just for this.

[@maggpiprime954]

I just checked out the birb tax! 💖 Adorable!

[@redditsloth7782]

After a long day out, broken bike, work, cinema its nice to relax and listen to mark read stories

[@weeme5190]

I used to have an upstairs neighbour who had mental health issues. Every night at exactly 9pm she would blast music for an hour straight. The music didn't bother me it was her never playing a full song. She would change the song before the chorus everytime. At 11pm for 30 minutes I would hear what sounded like her jumping on a pogo stick. Could never figure out what that was. She also played with bricks, actual house bricks outside her veranda not a clue why. In the same flat my neighbour through the wall from me had their bathroom next to mine. There was a vent that connected through the wall so if I was singing in the shower the chap next door would sing with me. We had many of a duet when I lived there. Definitely the most crazy neighbour experience I had.

[@gabrielf.cespedes6451]

Meh, first story people suggest many passive aggressive ways to deal with it while taking a long time to kinda "solve" the situation. Most of the time the direct approach is the one that will lead to a better and faster resolution. In this case Op needs to stand her ground and use her communication and people skills to deal with an annoying person instead of feeling helpless and beating around the bushes just to avoid confrontation.

[@mothertrucker936]

Trespassing kids:, if they get hurt on your property their parents WILL sue you. Stop worrying about being kind anymore. Kids usually respond to mean neighbours Walk out and just loudly say that if you find anyone on your property again you’ll have them arrested. That should frighten them hopefully

[@Vrishtallina]

DON'T get a lot of cats? DON'T??? What da funk? Well, cats don't want you either!

[@missyjune9014]

Grow a backbone. You are 'Queen' of YOUR house. I, myself, am a "Hermit" much easier to be alone, than wish I was. 😊

[@heatherdickau5335]

In regards to the neighbor story. Just say no. Do not engage in conversation. Just keep doing whatever you are doing. Do not look at her after you say you are busy. When she asks for coffee just say no.

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

In my state if a neighbor harassed me like that I would take the time to educate them on Castle Doctrine and why it's a bad idea to be on my property uninvited. In a friendly way of course.

[@CharlesGriswold]

Story 1: Make really, really bad coffee. Serve it in a cup with a lipstick mark.

[@darkmask5933]

17:25 random highlighted "o" ... Mark is trying to send us a secret message! D:

[@bethb4432]

Why can’t I imagine Mark being a grumpy bastard?😂

[@creepylifeofme1927]

Yay! This is the earliest I’ve ever been!

[@maggpiprime954]

Here's my Hellscape Neighbours Story! About a year before the current plague changed the world, my building had all the windows renovated. It's an old building, and the contractors had to literally break the walls to do the job. Which, as I found out later, also broke whatever seal between my apartment and the vacant one next door. So here's me, finally redecorated my bedroom completely dust-free and cosy and I'm woken up Christmas morning with my new neighbour describing her bowel movements to her friend on the phone. I swear, it sounded like she was outside my bedroom door. This was after already experiencing their "Oh we just unpacked the stereo let's play this old CD full blast at 11:50pm," their heavy cigarette smoke, their screaming matches at random hours-- for hours and god knows what else. I've been sleeping on the sofa bed for over a year, and now that everyone's getting vaccinated, my wonderful super can finally get contractors in to seal and soundproof both sides of the wall. It'll be nice to have my room not reek like Sneaky Dee's in the 90s before the smoking laws! (Toronto venue notorious for cheap nachos, cheap booze, and loud live music! Haven't been there in years!)

[@alakazamlover4908]

story 4: OP is just damn lucky the dude "listened" to them if some co-co bird with a gun pointed at me and my dog, and i shouted put it away, i dont think most people would comply you have to wonder why it was OP he snapped on....

[@hughg.rection1421]

I'm sitting at the bus stop trying not to laugh at the prospect of some crazy woman standing in front of someone's door for _7 fucking hours._

[@TsukiKageTora]

In some places you’re legally allowed to protect your property from anyone. People can have guns aimed at anyone who trespasses. Those parents are setting those children up for a horrible future for not teaching them to follow simple rules

[@Diogenes323]

Mark: i don't understand American gun laws. me, an American: same bruh you'd legit that to shoot at a person to get your gun taken away.

[@madcatlady]

This comes the day after I find rubbish tossed over my fence

[@LunaP1]

And then toss an even bigger rubbish in response. But make sure it’s in a spot where they can’t prove you did it.

[@moonbear5929]

This second story, did OP say they lived in a Condo or an Apartment? I dont know much about condo rules, but if it's an apartment, one could tip off the landlord about 3 people living in that one apartment. If the other two are not on the lease, they cant stay there for any length of time. In my place, you cant have any one stay for more than 2 weeks. Where my mother used to live, I think the limit was only 3 days or a week at most. There's got to be something in the lease about how many people can be in the apartment.

[@SerenEirian]

As an American myself, I _still_ don't understand the lack of gun control laws.

[@richardearldearyjr.9951]

I would buy 32 Channel CCTV cameras installed on my house. I also would buy a body camera. Tell your insane neighbor to stop coming over to your house and that you don't want to talk to her anymore.

[@sarahlyon157]

Story 3: I live in a tiny town (less than 500 residents). The local school is at a little cul-de-sac at the east end of town and there are two entryways. One of them has a house that put up a sex doll in the Window for YEARS (I think she finally was destroyed by heat/UV). So the idea of being upset by cartoon ghost stickers is ridiculous to me.

[@missluciddreams3472]

Taking care of my four year old (just has a tonsillectomy) and enjoying a video from Mark while drinking a tequila sunrise...great video, Mark 🍹