The Problem With Coffee Shops, Gyms, Parks and Libraries | Ep. 263

[@addiestewart3035]

I think third spaces are really important for more urban families. A family with multiple kids living in a one or two bedroom apartment with no backyard has less ability to host guests so libraries, parks, and other free open spaces give much needed opportunities to socialize and enjoy a larger space.

[@emilycarr2983]

I think third spaces can be problematic for some families, but I also think there are lots of families that thrive in these environments. Not to mention, third spaces can be invaluable to some families, especially lower income families, that don't have the same access to a big backyard or lots of reading/toy resources for their kids that other families might have.

[@kaysegoodson2721]

Hey Katie! Just wanted to say I’m thankful for you! I’ve learned lots from you! I do miss your homeschool/mothering/homemaking specific videos over on Nowthatwereafamily/nowthatimamother channel. Hope to see some of those soon! Hope things are going well for you and the 5 kiddos! 🩵

[@meghantanner3157]

You should join her GIADC, thats where she has organized all her mentioned motherhood/homemaking content. I waited a year thinking I could just find it in all the videos but its so much easier just to be in there where its organized and focused :)

[@elizabethrosas4648]

I am a big fan of your podcast and enjoy listening in when I have a chance. I am happy that you guys have found your niche of raising your children. However upon further consideration in my own faith, I have grown to understand and discern exactly what Christian Liberties are when I hear about them being expressed. For our family lifestyle, we travel a lot. We try to keep balance with hosting 1 meal once a month in our home. However, the life memories we have created deep sea fishing, outdoor rock climbing, skiing almost weekly this winter season, going to countless amounts of museums all across our state, surfing, mountain biking, boating, dirt biking, paddle boarding the most pristine Alpine backcountry lakes, and so much more wouldn’t have been possible if we just huddled at home so much not getting our family out into the world to experience God’s wonderful creation. Our children have been able to experience different cultures, gain confidence in life solving skills and more by leaving the walls of our home regularly. Last year we stayed out of town 113 days. Right now we are at 38 days out of town this year alone for travel as a family. Yes I homeschool which helps our traveling but just wanted to share that not everyone has a desire to have people in our home every week hosting. There should be a balance.

[@charitybroussard4961]

I love what you said about inviting people into our homes. It's soo important to create an environment we love to be in and can invite others in to enjoy!

[@charitybroussard4961]

I think that these 3rd spaces as you called them are used differently for each family and the benefits would be specific to the situation. For me in particular, these spaces are a occasional "treat" not a necessity of life. (As in grocery shopping is a necessary activity outside the home) As a kid, library night was probably one of my most enjoyed activities (our choices were carefully observed and we were monitored) and as an adult with a child the library is a outing that is 100% worth the time for me. It lets my toddler see different scenery, play and interact with new people and learn behaviors that he wouldn't have the opportunity to learn at home. I live in a small town so perhaps it's different, but dropping in (less than once a month in reality) to the local coffee shops shows interest in your community, supports a local business and again provides me with an opportunity to teach proper behaviors in a specific setting. This was certainly an interesting topic and I think that it comes down to different family dynamics, personalities and even whether you live in a small town or a city.

[@user-mg7cs4us1s]

Wow this was a very timely podcast for me to listen to! I had been praying to God towards the end of last week about going out to coffee shops or public spaces, because I didn't feel like I could concentrate at home. It just felt like I was so distracted at home, or even too isolated at home (which Katie mentioned), even though I am single. I was partly leaving my home to avoid being tempted by all other my devices, as I am currently doing a 1 month free smart phone challenge. It's helping a lot but also unearthing gaps in my day where I feel exceptionally bored or disinterested in the nature of what I do. I like that you came at this from different angles, because in some sense it's good for us to socialise and not be stuck inside but on the other hand I also had the attitude of needing to escape my environment. I also went to see a friend of mine at her house yesterday and she has a little one who is very young which kept her busy but it was the most accessible thing for her. I also go to the gym frequently which (kind of similar to Elishas mindset) was that it was easiest for me to get outside of the house to be productive and in that headspace, once I am on the move I do better, but equally it does take a lot out of me and my day to get ready to go down there and return, especially because I like to do things early in the morning like Katie! I had been feeling some fatigue from it. I'll say this on top of having listened to another of your previous podcasts about your decision to take a sabbath, because recently I was too tired from doing so many church programmes. I felt disappointed or judged that maybe the Lord would be unhappy with me for taking a step back but the Lord had lead me to read about how the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath. Right after that I saw your podcast and it has convicted me to start doing something similar. I feel like God is really using you both to help renew my mind and see if I can adjust my environment or optimise my resources better. Your content certainly adds value!

[@patfromsac7951]

I agree with you guys about coffee shops while trying to work but as a social thing, it’s really fun to get out. Yes it’s hard to be there with kids, like you said in the past, it’s training opportunities. I think as we go more and more, the kids will understand what’s expected of them

[@amandakoppana4509]

I loved this! I had the same experience with kids in coffee shops. It’s very nice to stay home and welcome people in! I did a lot of escaping as a young mom and it made my home life stressful. I wasn’t managing my home the way I should have been.

[@elizabethmiller4963]

This was a lifting of a burden for me. I have 4 kids, ages 6 and under. I catch myself wishing I had more gusto to get all of us out the door to these "third spaces", and am usually exhausted when I do swing an outing like this. Cultivating a home that serves our family well and welcomes our guests is usually much better than getting out of the house. I have been telling my husband that it's beyond not worth our money and sanity to take our kids out to eat like we used to. When Katie said going to a busy park is stressful, ugh so true. I am just constantly scanning for all my kids 😂 An almost empty park is a nice treat though.

[@rebekah175]

This was so good and a very timely message! Love listening to you guys! Don't stop doing what you're doing for the rest of us! You're a true blessing!

[@amymorgan1844]

Yes! We’re really into community building, and we’ve decided to open up our house for devotions, children’s virtue classes, parent study groups and more. We live in a townhouse but really optimized the space so it’s welcoming to all. It’s a real joy to invite people over for dinner too!

[@victorias5983]

Thank you ❤ mom of four here... When I go out with my family I too witness this.

[@lindsaym2547]

Really enjoy listening the past few months, thank you for all the time you put into this. ❤

[@laurenrice9340]

I always love listening to you both~ Thanks for sharing!

[@shaylinedmond2256]

I really liked this conversation. As a new parent, this conversation was helpful. Thanks for sharing!

[@hannahthehomesteader]

It sounds like we need Elisha's sister on the podcast! I have tried really hard to do a lot of what it sounds like she does and yet my 2 year old is still a little tornado no matter what. My other kids are easier and were easier at his age, too. I'm struggling to figure out how to train obedience with him. I would love her tips!

[@modelingmotherhood]

Yes, I would also love child training tips :)

[@sabl6381]

Along the lines of doing things and hosting from home, some of my most restorative socializing as a mother has come from having girlfriends come over after our kids' bedtimes (with their husband holding it down at their homes, of course). No babysitter money spent, and one of the rare occasions to have uninterrupted adult conversation.

[@emmasanchez495]

Sometimes I will see one of our podcast titles, and think it's an incredibly small thing to "nitpick", but then I listen and actually learn a lot! You guys have helped me think about some things I otherwise wouldn't have considered, so I appreciate the fresh perspective!

[@emmasanchez495]

I would also be curious to hear what you consider the best places to witness to others as a Christian family? Parks, library? Public transport was great for me as a young married, but now I feel a lot more isolated.

[@sarat2205]

A little different take than I was expecting! Good conversation starter for us, as usual! Thank you!

[@suelayman1371]

I've always heard that you should make your home a place that you don't want to take a vacation from. Your video confirmed that. Great talk!

[@christinascalling244]

Love listening to you guys!

[@geaninarigo]

Love this concept and I couldnt agree more with investing in and making the home what it needs to be for playdates gatherings

[@RenewYourStrengthandhome]

Parks are my favorite place now to hang out with other moms!! Yes, when i had kids under 4 years old, parks were hard to have a good conversation bc of chasing them around but now that my kids are old enough to manage the play equipment independently, it's wonderful!! I host ppl at my house during the wintertime but it can get so loud from all the kids playing inside that it's a bit overstimulating and hard to hear each other at times if you have more than one family over.

[@anntorppey-eo1vo]

I loved this episode! Do you think you could speak to the practicality of having large groups of people over? Sometimes, especially when different families have different standards for their kids, having large families over can feel like a zoo too! Do you have any tips?

[@michelemolina5631]

Love the Diamond Rio reference around 18:00. 😊

[@ciannek209]

How fun to hear you used to live in Bend. That’s where I live 😊

[@spunkycat6144]

I haven't watched the video yet. Here is my humble opinion of folks in coffee shops. One, they have lots of money. Coffee is always cheaper at home. In my city half he people in coffee shops are homeless and the other half are do rich that they don't have work and you can't tell the difference between the two. 😅

[@freerangerowlands]

The whole time you were talking about gathering all your things for the coffee shop, I was nodding and emphatically saying YES!!😅 It’s just not efficient!

[@BiddyBop7]

Thought-provoking. Thanks.

[@lolmandood]

You guys have become a daily podcast listening for me during work and driving. Thank you for your podcast that comes from the biblical perspective.

[@sabl6381]

My first thought at the title was "Yoga pants and Drag Queen Story Hour?" 😂 On a serious note, I definitely relate to this. I have an almost 2-year-old with another on the way, and I've had to get brutally honest with myself about which outings are actually worth it. It has been a gradual and sometimes painful transition for my husband and me to figure out how to incorporate some of the valuable activities of our "pre-parent life" with this new stage.

[@emilyslittlebooknook-8043]

I'd love to here more from your sister and you about how she trained her kids taught them

[@hugsforlove]

❤❤❤

[@abrownie19]

Interesting concept!

[@lucialandry8489]

Where is that turtleneck from? I love it. And love y'all.

[@ayannamarie123]

Great episode! Submitted a question.

[@CreationBound]

Love your podcast, but can’t relate to this coffee shop issue. I have never lived close enough to a town to even experience such a thing 😂. When my wife and I were first married we lived 2hrs away from the nearest town!! 😂😂

[@RCGWho]

As a mostly non coffee drinker, non-coffeephile, and a cheapskate, I've only darkened the door of Starbucks a handful of times. I always feel super uncomfortable ordering because people's coffee orders have become so detailed and technical that it's foreign and intimidating to me. Side tangent on coffee, sorry. Also, coffee shops are not really child-oriented environments. I'm sure the other patrons who go there to relax or get some work done would not be thrilled to have 4 or 8 children bouncing off the walls. Plus, coffee shops have become part of almost the identity of young Americans who want to appear hip. Do you want to cultivate in your children the need to be drinking the right coffee at the right coffee shop to appear cool? The cost is prohibitive as well.

[@patriciabellah9392]

Lemon ginger and hot water. For voice

[@italydavinci]

lol I thought I was the only one that didn’t like going out much and saw it as a waste of time and money . Especially with children is hard to even focus on one thing

[@sabl6381]

Yeah, with a toddler and one on the way, I'm always weighing whether an errand or outing is even worth the trouble, lol.

[@kaitlync15]

With all the writing … is that a book 😮!?

[@taylorferrell8308]

I know this is off topic but I had watched one of your videos where you talked about mad dog math, I wanted to know if it is working for your littles? I am thinking about purchasing but could not find any reviews. I trust your opinions.

[@herhomebook]

We are using it based off her recommendation and love it! I don’t feel like you NEED to buy the whole system though. For us, we found buying the learn math fast book (also a recommendation from that podcast) plus the online subscription with the game for older kids or the flash cards for younger kids works really well. Learn math fast explains the concepts well, and MDM gives you the chance to practice over and over again to mastery. We’ve been loving it so far.

[@taylorferrell8308]

Thank you so much for your input. I think I am going to go for it. Blessings!

[@Shelabayy]

What I’m struggling to understand is what you mean by not being able to parent in public?

[@sabl6381]

Probably giving firm correction, maybe spanking if the infraction is egregious enough. When you're out, you're more distracted and maybe let more fly, and the kids pick up on that. It might also just be awkward to have a full-blown discipline situation go down in public, especially in the age of gentle parenting when bystanders gawk at the idea of setting boundaries with kids.

[@julih1383]

I think if your kids don't respect you I enough to listen when you talk to them then you probably need to work on your discipline at home and build that respect and love.

[@katie8325]

@@sabl6381that’s not setting boundaries, that’s assault. So they can’t go out because they can’t physically assault their kids in public? Really?

[@melaniemassicotte4258]

I'm sorry, I'm shock. I'm also sad.

[@spunkycat6144]

Then you have to go to the bathroom with your computer out.

[@ellenmelon88]

Yay instagram sucks! 😂

[@beach_1414]

If u notices she talks and he shakes his head he knows better

[@beach_1414]

She’s sweet but bossy

[@saintamerican6105]

Makeup is a sin and no one can tell me that God loves when we wear makeup and that makeup pleases God. God also never said that we are unfinished painting and that we we can be our own artists. Makeup in itself is demonic.

[@sabl6381]

Makeup can have its place in moderation. I think there are bigger fish to fry.