TIDELAND & Neglect | Nyx Fears

[@od-vn9ws]

The part about "parents not understanding that their kids are new to the world" really stood out to me. My dad was always short tempered and irritable and to him, the worst response you could give to any question or request was "I don't know." He'd ask me to get the Phillips head screwdriver for him, I'd say I don't know what each type of screwdriver is because i'm 9, he'd get angry and say whatever i'll do it myself. It took me a long time even as an adult to really think about that and accept that like...this isn't some innate knowledge you're born with. You don't know these things unless someone tells you. As my dad, he's probably the only person in my life who would have taught me which type of screwdriver is which. He didn't teach me, and then he got mad at me for not knowing in the first place. When you lay it all out it's such an obvious contradiction in logic. But as a child it's so upsetting. You feel like you've done something wrong but you can't even comprehend how or why it was wrong.

[@patrickt.6492]

It sounds like your father just didn't want to have to deal with the burden of having to teach a kid something. I'm an adult, and my parents still hate it when I answer a question with, "I don't know". In my case, the questions are about stuff like my career and my long-term plans. Sometimes I just want to say, "How about we find out together?" If you give someone time to figure it out, they usually will. But that means dealing with uncertainty, and sometimes parents just don't want to do that. Which results in the kid feeling bad for not having yet arrived at an answer that they totally will arrive at eventually.

[@BakilAskamrim]

The 'I don't know' thing was so prevalent with my sperm donor when I was growing up that it developed into a habit of me trying to explain or reason some sort of answer, any answer even if it made no sense, because the asshole would always say "I don't know isn't an answer" but refuse to teach me. To him it was better to be flat out wrong or to lie than to not know something. I've been married to my husband for 10 years and he's finally gotten it through my head that it's okay to not know an answer and to even admit it. I refuse to tell my daughter "I don't know isn't an answer".

[@_gremlinboy]

100%, may not be the case with your dad but I know my mother did this intentionally to keep us kids feeling constantly overwhelmed and insecure. Things like not letting me touch the washer or dryer for my entire life, saying I'd mess it up, and then one day in my preteens suddenly telling me to do laundry and then screaming at me for being useless when I told her I didn't know how. I think if I had not left her house when I was 14, she would have done the same thing with driving. It's a baffling and terrifying place to be in.

[@rcolmanetti]

I think what makes most people hate this movie is the expectancy of a metaphorical analysis of neglect and abuse and getting something horribly raw and close to reality instead. Even though those situations seem too bad and crazy for reality. I worked for a long time with abused and neglected children and teenagers and those kind of histories of abuse are extremely common, and the way the girl and the boy react to the abuse is terribly realistic. Watching this movie scarred me, not because of how the movie was made, but how it depicts front and center the results of abuse, the acting out, the repetition of harmful behavior and how this result in dissociation. I think your analysis is great, I only disagree with the notion that she doesn´t have understanding of death and other complex constructs, she is dissociating to survive, and in the end she just dissociates completely. I would only recommend this movie to psychologists, social workers and psychiatrists or any other people that will work directly with abused and neglected young people, even though I think it´s a good movie.

[@goodbaron10]

Agreed

[@elfsieben1450]

With just a bit of informed insight and a little more of empathy and patience this movie isn't hard to understand. You don't need a degree or to have worked in the field to understand that Jeliza-Rose uses child-play, daydreams, imagination as both escapism and a way of making sense of her world, and that she loses touch with reality while doing so. Anything else to say about it, any detail added to explain it further is just trying towards a working hypothesis in general terms or some academic need to produce a new paradigm - but doesn't help you more in dealing with what's going on with that particular child.

[@alexcarter8807]

Those kind of histories of abuse are extremely common *in the US and in fucked-up war zones* not in normal healthy societies.

[@henkdachief]

Bad Review, dumb comment

[@wendellwiggins3776]

I almost agree but NOT EVERYONE had a FKDUP childhood or were neglected & in this film, NEITHER parent here ever beat her!!!!! so that entire subjective narrative isn't particularly relevant to the film! but I understand that the film is intensely dark, real & disturbing which can strike a different nerve of the emotional impact on each viewer. Sorry if you had personal trauma! I am one of those people who Terry says during his opening monologue, "will LOVE the film" even though I may never watch it again. Fortunately I saw it at the theater & was completely engrossed by the characters, the atmosphere, the story and performances from the beginning to the end of this terrifying yet magically surreal Gilliam strange trip. I thought the girl's acting was Oscar worthy and her Doll escapism element was absolutely brilliant & of utmost importance to the film. Leaving the Dolls out of your film analysis and dissection was a major mistake. It's crucial to understanding how this also mentally damaged little girls finds a way to cope & function through her situation. Anyway it's a brilliantly intensely complex film that is difficult to explain because narratively, mentally, emotionally and visually, the movie fires on every level that I felt was geniusly handled by Gilliam in ways beyond my ability to comprehend. There's even a hint of hope for the girl at the end. NOTE: I now must make a relevant comparison to the recent Yorgos Lanthimos film, Poor Things since both are visually stimulating & deal with disturbing underage sexual themes.They are like night and day. PT SUCKS narratively and never comprehensively deals with or resolves ANY of it's deep & darker issues. The cloud of pedeophilia in TIDELAND is clearly one of a typical young girls maturing naive curiosity & a clearly retarded & mentally challenged "retarded" young man. Uncomfortable maybe but not an absurd possibility. Again, as weird as TIDELAND is, it's very sophisticated in the way it explores dangerous territories. I thought it was a true masterpiece, upon leaving the theater that is clearly not to everyone's taste or comprehension. Like most of Gilliam's films I've NEVER had a problem understanding or not feeling fulfilled by his style of filmmaking & storytelling.

[@brassen]

[20:08] "introducing pain from a loving stand point can only confuse that child" : YES

[@ClaireActually]

I hadn't considered how Dickens being radicalized into being a suicide bomber was a parallel with how Jeliza is also just following the social script. Incredibly insightful! And your eyes?? Are dazzling?? Like??

[@fauxrowsdower7610]

HOW does she keep finding movies like this? i like to think of myself as a horror buff but I bow down to queen may and her superior indie sensibilities

[@lowwastehighmelanin]

The pit of trash is endless and May is leading the search

[@rickc2102]

I found it about 12 years ago because I needed to see all of Gilliam's work. Brazil, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and 12 Monkeys have long been staples in my favorite indies category.

[@elfsieben1450]

"Tideland"'s director Terry Gilliam is always a good address to go to when you want far-out, surreal dream or nightmare material. Unfortunately, this very movie did not get the sort of distribution and publicity it would have deserved. However, some of his other films, like "The Fisher King", "12 Monkeys" and "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", did. They are probably what gets people into looking for Gilliam's more obscure work.

[@nissanackle3823]

I unfortunately saw this movie when I was very young and I remember feeling very scared and I desperately wanted someone to save her and I vaguely remember at the very end of the movie when all the people came off the crashed train I felt good because at least she might be safe now

[@larindanomikos]

I bought this 20 years ago. It's Terry Gilliam. If you follow film you know when a Gilliam film comes out. It was just too dark for general audiences.

[@DanielHernandez-td2yh]

That part with boys being conditioned to sacrifice themselves really hit home for me. But, hilariously, it also reminded me of that one scene in Skull Island where the army guy straps grenades to himself, tries to get a monster to eat him, and utterly fails at it. You can physically see the pride drain from his face in that scene.

[@millie209]

It's an extremely hard watch, I like to think that the woman at the end actually takes care of her properly and helps the rest of her childhood be as healthy and normal as possible, as much as it can be after abuse. I saw myself a lot in Jeliza, having also survived abuse & neglect, albeit not as extreme, but I'm in my 20s and still picking up those pieces.

[@shreki2057]

You said "I'm sorry this happened to you" and I started crying.

[@blujaebird]

I watched this movie as a kid and related to it too much for my comfort. I also had a father with addiction and spent a lot of time alone with my imagination. Edit: just realized how much my dad looks like Jeff Bridges too.

[@lowwastehighmelanin]

oof

[@wendellwiggins3776]

WOW! I had a wonderful childhood but somehow felt the power and deeply complete and coherent complexity of the subject though Gilliam's in depth characterization of the little girl who was depicted incredibly by the actress

[@TheRainstorm97]

"I'm sorry this happened to you." The feels. I talk and think about my childhood *too much*, maybe. Is that a thing that can happen?

[@indigohalf]

Oh, probably. You ever try to write down as much as you can remember and lay it out like you're gonna solve the puzzle? I tried that. Unfortunately all I learned from the experience is that there is no puzzle and also the past isn't real.

[@_gremlinboy]

Oh yeah. Like an obsession with the way things happened and the effects, I'm always pulling at threads in my past like I'm trying to figure out where they lead

[@pallasitematrix1614]

I mean, I have a lot of stuff about my childhood that I have to process, and talking about it helps. There's just a lot to make sense of, sometimes. Esp if it's got lingering effects on your life. If it keeps coming up, it might be worth asking why that is, and what you want to do with it.

[@biggestastiest]

i "talk too much" about my past as well. my childhood makes me greatly upset to think about, and talking about it, even redundantly, helps me alot with trying to deal with those emotions. im glad i have a partner who listens and always sympathizes with me. however, i feel that i talk "too much" about it due to the people i previously surrounded myself with not being willing to listen or sympathize, telling me that i talk too much. but i have to tell you that it's not too much. if it's cathartic and it solely helps you, talk as much as you want about it, and find people who'll listen.

[@toppersundquist]

REALLY liked this movie the first time I saw it. "Hey, it's that Python guy, it's gotta be amazing!" Got halfway through the second time and kind of noped out, and decided it would probably just be best as a memory of the first time.

[@C03-T3]

The childhood talk hit me deeply, especially with the "do we process the pain as kids" talk, It really does feels like sometimes we don't really understand it. idk, you did a better job talking about it than me lol. Love your videos

[@liulfrmcshane]

Ah, 40 minutes with the May Queen. Good stuff.

[@John_Leaves]

Fuckin’ damn right *chef’s kiss👌*

[@canningfactory]

I'm feeling my privilege a lot with this review, when you say most children are abused and go around knowing that most children are abused, that is honestly a thought I've never had. Is it universal that we tend to view our own childhood experiences as everyone's childhood experience?

[@Crithosceleg]

I can speak only for myself here, but I grew up abused and always with the thought, "everyone has it bad, some have it worse" and it's kept me from speaking about my own abuses for a very long time. It's a bias that every human holds, before really fully grasping sonder and the realization that others have their own lives and past experiences that differ from your own. This is part of why abuse is shied away from, not just that it's uncomfortable to confront traumas. The brain has ways of throwing around cognitive dissonance for protection. I knew others had it better than me and I knew others had it worse than me and it stopped me from really confronting just how bad my childhood abuses were -- and it involved a lot of neglect on top of physical and verbal abuse.

[@JadyLester]

She's more general about it, though. I consider myself mostly not abused? But everyone has experienced neglect, and pain while growing up.

[@dominicburke8908]

As someone who was abused, I come from a place of bias , but I personally don’t know anyone who wasn’t neglected in some way growing up , and it’s pretty rare to meet someone who was never hit or spanked by and adult who they trusted

[@casir.7407]

i "felt my priviledge" as well. i dont know anyone my own age (early 20s) who was beaten as a child. i know most of our parents were, as "disciplining", but none of them as far as i know was ever physically hurt by their parents. i do have classmates who have been sexually abused by family members, but those are quite rare and even rarer for they to be open about such trauma. sexual abuse and emotional abuse (since im a woman, especially the girls i knew were very much pressured by their mothers to be pretty skinny and stick to societal norms. in some cases, id say it could be emotional or mental abuse) are more common in my environment? but yeah, hearing someone say "well everyone grew up being abused" is scary partly because i know some people will agree, and partly because these people think that it is normal. it is not. it may be common, it may be usual, but it is not normal.

[@TheEmmaHouli]

So what can often happen is that we have all experienced neglect - parents are only human and no parent is literally perfect and able to provide all of your needs as a baby/child. In this very basic sense. Yes we have all been neglected. I take issue with "all of your friends were beaten as children" cos even taken as "all of your friends were spanked, and let's be real, spanking is abuse" it still doesn't hold true for everyone. And it is terrifying to me that someone would say this as an absolute truth. The hurt and pain she must have encountered in her life....

[@jesswilliams1436]

I just hope there was a child therapist on set for that poor kid. But as far as the watching experience, i appreciate when movies can serve as a safe environment to experience and unpack uncomfortable emotions. I dont know if ill ever watch it again, but im glad i saw it the one time

[@morganalabeille5004]

Considering Terry Gillian’s track record with the welfare of child actors it wouldn’t surprise me if there wasn’t

[@jesswilliams1436]

@@morganalabeille5004 thats unfortunate

[@Popopopipo17]

I saw this when I was 10. I just watched it once and I still can't move on to this day.

[@kolbykauffman4180]

The kid is cool. She was working on Silent Hill shortly after this. She's basically a child scream queen star.

[@punchincorporated]

this essay brought a lot of bad childhood memories to the surface for me, but your warmth and compassion made it a cathartic experience. sometimes it's worth remembering our childhoods so we can empathize more fully with our adult selves, and forgive ourselves for making mistakes. we can't go back in time and give our kid selves the hug they deserve, but if we love ourselves now, maybe that's enough.

[@AliceLynn]

Boy I really hope Jodelle's parents got her some good therapy after this film.

[@workingbeauty1804]

My mother suffered from depression and only now being old I realise what an effect it had on me... and how there was also neglect. At the beginning of your video I though “oh that does not apply to me” as i was never beaten... but then this notion of having no concept of what was going on resonated with me deeply! You took me on a journey with this one... great essay! (I have not seen Tideland but all I need is your take on it)

[@christianross5201]

Honestly it’s been really surprising to see this big shift in media (youtube + psychology) toward just how common neglect and abuse is, and how the majority of the population are actually suffering from a shiiiiiit ton of trauma - which is why most of us have “nostalgia goggles,” its what our brain does in response to trauma; it takes it, stores it in a bubble in our psyche, so we can continue functioning even though we physically could not process what happened when it happened. I have Complex PTSD, and jesus christ I didn’t realize how severe childhood neglect was for me. The other shift I’ve noticed is toward highlighting and studying narcissistic abuse and correlation to C-PTSD. That part where you mentioned how confusing it is for a child to encounter pain for the first time and have it associated as love really hit home for me. Thank you so much for making this video, this needed to be said and continues to be a discussion necessary to have.

[@alephcraven]

Damn. I felt myself moving in and out of dissociative states all through this. Lot to chew on. Thank you for making it.

[@screaminmeani]

I friendly recommend a book by Alice Miller (the German psychologist not the american fiction writer) called thou shalt not be aware.

[@thatjessjohnson]

This is one of those movies I have complicated feelings about existing, but still feel compelled to revisit every few years and just sit with what it brings up for me. You captured the complexity beautifully, May, thank you.

[@blujaebird]

I think Jeliza knows her parents are dead but is in deep denial about it.

[@lowwastehighmelanin]

At that age the concept of death has to be given to children. I'm a parent. My kid's around the age of Jeliza. Kids feel the loss but most don't comprehend it without it being put in context by someone else and you have to have an idea before a loss to understand it.

[@AGothNamedWednessday]

Exactly, what the other person said. She probably knows something is wrong, but she literally doesn't know what that is or means. Many of us learn about death and what it means at a young age, because we are taught, and so it's easy to assume children inherently understand it too.

[@alexspeake9359]

This vids fuckin spectacular, some of the shots filmed between the analysis are totally haunting. This whole essay is an emotional punch to the solar plexus tho lmao i think im either gonna find myself coming back to this video a lot or im never gonna watch it again

[@jesstar1000]

tideland was probably the first "disturbing movie" i ever saw and i vaguely remember like, enjoying it and being disgusted by it in equal measure. if theres anything to be said about it i think its that it felt very honest, and that even at its most horrifying, at the time that i saw it (mid-teen yrs iirc) there was a weird sort of catharsis of seeing this horrible stuff and feeling like someone was finally acknowledging how weird and grotesque childhood could be. i dont think everyone who sees it is going to feel that way and i cant really say whether the good outweighed the bad but for me personally idk i have like a weird fondness for it even now.

[@raven_moonshine39]

You know, catharsis is not a word I would have come to on my own, but I think you might be right and I'm struggling to put into words why. I saw it in my late teens and, while I blanked out the actual story apparently, the (and I hate to use this word, but) "aesthetic" of it with the yellow fields, the dilapidated house, the barbie doll heads, the decaying opulence, it all hits in weirdly nostalgic places for me.

[@daniarici5425]

This video is really raw for me but I think you did a great job of explaining why neglect and violence as themes in film cause the reactions they do in people

[@01tripl3]

watched this movie off a few tabs a year ago and it genuinely changed my life. i come back to it every once and a while and each time watching it feels like the first. it's so easy to get frustrated with children while forgetting the psychedelic imagined wonderland we all existed in as children ourselves. every child deserves patience and kindness first and foremost. also just wanted to say i love all your videos. each one feels like a welcome and safe space where i can think about things i love with a person who shares the same perspectives as me.💜

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

Hark, we have been granted 40 minutes of Nyx Fears content. S’gonna be a good day.

[@milkisgood8766]

This is a grotesquely fascinating video about a horrifyingly beautiful movie. As someone who has experienced various forms of abuse/trauma during my adolescent years and still struggles with the aftermath in my adult life, this analysis tore me apart and brought me to tears. You described the dissonance of neglect vs. childhood innocence so eloquently that I felt myself re-living the worst moments of my life along with the girl. Thank you so much May. You have proven yet again that you are my favorite creator on this hellish platform. ❤

[@teslajambox]

i had actually kind of blocked out this movie from my memory because it reflected life things i wasnt remotely ready to start unravelling, thank you for talking about it in such a way that was bluntly honest while still being sensitive to painful realities, you have a huge gift for that

[@evilcaptainred]

Upon finishing this vid- this is one of the best vids you’ve ever done. This is totally why I’m subbed- I can’t handle how well you can articulate these complicated feels so well! Anyway, guess I will rewatch it now!

[@TakarasAsylum]

This isn't the movie I expected from what Ive read about it, nor the video I expected. This is by far the video I've connected with most on your channel and has given me the most to digest. Your analysis is eloquent and covers emotions I didn't consider. It's greatly appreciated. I'll never be able to watch this movie, but I'm glad I know about it. edit: just went downstairs and gave my mom a hug. A lot of bad shit happened to me, but as an adult, I've come to the conclusion she did her best for me knowing only what she did and being in the circumstances she was. She's flawed, and at some points I was failed, but I can surmise with what I know now that she really loves me and did what she could. I know not everyone who has a mom had one that you can rebuild bridges with, and I hope you know that while you deserved and needed the love of your parent who did not give it to you, you're going to be okay. We're healing one generation at a time, but you can be kind to yourself for your own sake too. I also want to acknowledge that for however grateful I am to have had this discussion and catharsis, subjecting the child actress to this was not excusable. I hope the actress is doing fine and I'd like to know how she's doing now that she's presumably more like, 27, and if she has any thoughts about this role now that she's older. She was an excellent actor in these clips. Her imdb page has some roles that I already recognized and thought were really impressive.

[@johnnyfreedom9232]

You talked about this with such sensitivity that I really appreciate as a childhood abuse survivor ❤️ genuinely is so nice to be able to see discussions of neglect etc that aren't graphic enough to be triggering

[@raven_moonshine39]

For everyone expressing concern in the comments, the little girl is Jodelle Ferland and, to start, she was, I think, 11 when this was made, so, still young, but not nearly as young as her character seems to be. From what I've seen of her as an adult, she seems pretty together and doing well. Granted, you can project any image you want onto the internet, but what I see is a standard 20-something nerd girl taking cute selfies and working enough to be happy but not so much to be in the glaring spotlight. She honestly seems to have done pretty good for a child star, and a child star who did (and continues to do) a lot of horror movies at that.

[@AvasFangs]

I'm not sure that watching tidelands would be something productive for me, but I DO think that this conversation you've prompted by making this video is an important one for people to have. Like you said, a lot of us don't want to think about our childhood abuse, and many of us try to rationalize that abuse. I distinctly remember internalizing my abuse and trying to convince myself that just because other people have it worse that doesn't mean what I'm experiencing isn't bad, which I suppose is uncommon for an 8 year old child? This is something very relevant to me as of late. I'm 22 years now old but I've been stuck emotionally since I was 14 because of my father dying (who was my primary abuser growing up.) Both of my parents are addicts, and while they never had me "help them go on vacation" there has been some enabling and rationalizing from my mother. Speaking of which, she's recently gone off the deep end and has completely given up on responsibility and is trying to live as self indulgently as possible while also trying to make it as difficult as possible for me and my brother to get by without her. I've already come to the conclusion that I can't live with her anymore, and have plans to move on and have my disabled brother move across the country to live with someone who can actually take care of his needs. I'm pretty sure the only thing that's letting me function on a daily basis is that I'm so emotionally stunted that I can't really process my emotions at this point. I'm really hoping that hrt is gonna help me to be able to process my emotions again, but I'm certainly going to wait until I'm in a stable enough environment where it would be safe for me to go through a second puberty. Anyways, I understand if sharing part of my story is troubling for others but I feel like this was an appropriate place to do so? I'm not demanding a response from anybody, but I would like to hear from anyone who would be willing to share similar experiences.

[@TheRainstorm97]

I'm definitely not going to watch this movie but this video was a great watch. I won't say my experience was similar, but I agree on thinking that your abuse wasn't *that* bad (especially since I had seen and understood the examples of "starving african children", stranger danger, "more" neglected kids than I was) and also trying to explain your abuse to yourself in a way that makes you think you deserved it or caused it or exacerbated it. I recommend therapy highly, when you're able to get it. I know that a qualified therapist can help you get some tools to cope without "cracking into pandora's box" as it were. You don't have to deal with all the trauma at once. My brother was using the same logic to avoid getting into therapy (also thinking it doesn't work, and neither do medications) and thankfully he has been proven wrong. He's doing okay, now. Going for his PhD. We had the same basic coping strategy for our abuse and the death of our abusive mother - bottle all that shit up and just try to work. It worked okay for him, but I unfortunately turned out to have bipolar disorder so I was forced to get help when I really started spiraling. I mean, he also got the less intense focus of the abuse (not that it's a competition, every hurt is valid and deserves help, he was just able to function while I wasn't). So he's been able to function really well as a student, an employee, and a human being, while dealing with stuff in therapy - it didn't crash his whole life. Although I understand going through HRT will be very different. Anyway, not trying to preach, just information I hope you'll find useful from personal experience. I'm wishing you luck with your escape plans.

[@AvasFangs]

@@TheRainstorm97 I do intend to get into therapy and to try to make it work. I was in therapy for like 6 years and never felt like it did anything to help but it's probably because I never wanted to talk about my problems. I'm able to do it now, and I've learned some good mental health tips like developing ANT-eaters and some fundamentals of CBT and DBT. I'm not sure if I have a mood disorder or personality disorder, I know I have adhd, autism, anxiety and dysthymia and that I've worked hard on being able to understand and blend in with neurotypical people. I hope that for you you're able to have many good functional days and that if you're having a hard time functioning try to remember that it will eventually pass.

[@lbcyber]

This was really the weirdest way you could have chosen to tell me I'm actually dead

[@lbcyber]

Normally death just shows up, and I'd be like, "oh okay, I understand now that I am dead." Usually the process doesn't involve reminding me about Tideland.

[@Skeksistential-crisis]

Clicked IMMEDIATELY, Tideland is one of my favourite weird movies ever, and i love the book too. Great to see someone talking about this underrated gem

[@Skeksistential-crisis]

Also as a note- Dell is Dickens’s older sister, not his mother. But considering there is a lot of inbreeding implied to be going on in the family (Jeliza’s dad is implied to be Dell’s brother too, despite Dell being obsessed and in love with him. There’s photos of Dell and Jeliza’s dad together in Dell’s house, and the (dead and taxidermied) Grandma in the house is implied to be the very same Grandma who’s house Jeliza and her dad thought they were staying in. It’s not said outright but it’s there and it adds an extra fucked up layer to the whole thing) it’s very possible she could be both

[@elfsieben1450]

@@Skeksistential-crisis Thanks for the extra info. Love that movie, considering buying the book.

[@MrMrUSMC]

I've got an hour until my vaccination appointment. What a lovely way to spend it.

[@TheRainstorm97]

Good luck, and thank you for getting vaxxed!

[@trapkingdesu2489]

This movie really hurt me for some reason, and I couldn't put it into words or even really understand why. This video has helped me understand these feelings, not just about the film, but about some parts and aspects of life in general. Thank you for this video.

[@fengy5629]

i watched this movie the first time with my dad when i was a little bit older than the girl and adooooooored it. i got put into really physically dangerous situations and was constantly in a sort of emotional-incest-turned-vicious-hateful-abuse-back-to-emotional-incest type of relationship with my mother, so not really neglect, but it can teach the same sort of lesson about trauma. this movie makes it really, really clear to people how awful trauma is- when you watch it and then ask, how is she going to be normal after this? what would she need in order to be like an adult with a comparatively normal childhood? i'm still trying to be a normal person even though i ran away nearly a decade ago. brutalizing children brutalizes an entire person for an entire lifetime, and it affects everyone they come into contact with.

[@modernmagica2515]

tidelands a weird one. its hard to really talk about because i do find it to be basically indefensible but also i've never seen anything so honest about how horrible the world can be to you when youre a kid and how you will not undersyand that cruelty, and i do think thats worth something in art. i really really loved this video it hits hard

[@TheEmmaHouli]

This movie was one of my favourites as a teen, but I honestly thought I made it up for a while cos no one else seems to know about it! I rented it the same weekend as Pans Labyrinth so "horrors as witness by a child" was a theme of the week.

[@elfsieben1450]

In direct comparison to Tideland, Pan's Labyrinth just looks like a dolled up Disney Channel remake made for the sole purpose of placing Hasbro & Mattel commercials in between. (I did like Pan's Labyrinth, it just pales in comparison.)

[@drivr8]

I just found your channel and I think it's so great. I actually saw TIDELAND at a film festival when it was released. Gilliam tacked on a intro--essentially a plea to not dismiss the film out-of-hand due to the story (few places would screen it due to the obvious critical response). Almost 20 yrs later and I've not forgotten the experience of watching it. Your analysis is incredibly nuanced and thoughtful. You're correct--no one talks about this film, and your video tackles it really well.

[@WorldCupWillie]

The poor kid in Time Bandits ended up as an orphan at the end of the movie.

[@greenhowie]

Honestly when I saw it as a kid my immediate thought was "thank goodness, they were awful people"

[@ratkid6859]

Oh my god I forgot about Time Bandits until now

[@eragonarya225]

as a person who works with kids and remembers how difficult being a kid can be, this video rocks my socks off. May, you’re incredible

[@ruliak]

Seems like an important movie in the vein of a harmony korine film. I had a friend in new mexico who grew up in a dirt house surrounded by heroin needles. This stuff really happens.

[@joerivera6334]

This video is deep AF. Thanks, May.

[@dmkelsey6251]

tideland personally helped me sort through and process a lot of truama. it's incredible and lovely that you made this difficult video. thank you.

[@skeletonsinscarves3965]

I can confidently tell you that this whole pandemic has given me a chance to think about my childhood and really the neglect I experienced with my family, I got to talk about these things with my mom and talked with her about my transition, and why I am the way I am. I think she's sad she didn't get to experience many things with me as a girl but I told her it doesn't matter what gender I am as long as I'm myself I'll always be your kid and your best friend. May you did wonderful work with this video and you're right, people don't like to think about their childhood, they joke about the abuse as if as if it makes the trauma go away

[@henkdachief]

No this review is moronic

[@maxisagay]

I watched this movie after scrolling through comments on this video and then came back to finish the video afterwards. A couple of months later, I've thought so much about the movie and what it means to me. The same kind of experience hit me after reading No Longer Human based on your reccomendation in another video. I just want to say thank you so much for connecting me with these pieces of art and reflecting on them.

[@dreamamills6655]

Dear may, I love you. I’m one of your OG subscribers and I have seen this movie once very long ago, maybe in 2010 or 2011. This movie left an imprint on me and terry gilliam is one of my favorite directors. I love you again. Keep being you, you’re incredible.

[@JamScamly]

*Very Moving* and thought-provoking for a channel about yucky horror movies! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I don't believe that Jeliza truly has _no_ concept of death or pain. it's not like she grew up isolated in the middle of nowhere the way Denny did. The girl has seen movies. the scene where she coughs up yucky stuff and plays a distressed damsel telling herself she'll make a full recovery is a good example. She knows what death is on some level, but it's a level she will not go anywhere near. She's dissociating from the reality of these traumas partially because she's young enough that those concepts and consequences haven't been fully coded in, but also partially because she has to. To look these grim things in the face is to give in to despair. and to give in to despair is to lay down and die. Dissociation is a powerful survival mechanism. not an incapacity of a child's understanding.

[@elfsieben1450]

Very well observed!

[@Danil1101]

What I love about Terry Gilliam is his deep sincere compassion for human beings. What is great that he can share this compassion with us thanks for his talent.

[@XAndIHoldMyBreathX]

I'm so glad you covered this movie because I saw it yeeaaaars ago, way late at night and thought it was a fever dream forever because no one ever knew what it was when I mentioned it.

[@barnabasstewart4104]

Aw man, Tideland's a GEM in my book! I checked this movie out from the library years ago and after I watched it I made everyone I know watch it because I thought it was just the best thing ever...like "Everyone come over and let's have 'movie night' watch this awesome film I've found!" Of course they thought something was wrong with me....lol

[@barnabasstewart4104]

Like, I was so obsessed with the name Jeliza Rose, I swore I was going to name my future daughter that....lmao

[@alicek5178]

I've only been able to watch this once and you've uncovered exactly why. Thank you as always for your wonderful insight

[@desicatedlimbs]

I honestly thought no one knew what this movie was. Nice.

[@rickc2102]

Same. It's been my little secret for 12 years.

[@cupidhoodlum]

tideland is the first movie i rewatched until i "got" it and honestly it really does help if you take the directors note seriously at the start of the film. the tension described is a side effect of bringing your adult framework into the situation. how responsible it is to abandon that framework is certainly up for debate. but if you do leave it at the door you get to have a viewing that is more informed by the abandonment she experiences over the course of the film rather than the trauma you know she'll ultimately come away with.

[@elfsieben1450]

Well said.

[@nekoattack96]

im coming back around to this video today to thank you. this was a very special and very much needed talk for me, even if i wasn’t familiar with tideland before going into this. you have such a special voice and way of expressing ideas that really is so comforting, for me, as someone who’s in the middle of recovering from severe neglect and abuse. i think you are an incredible creator, and i’m so glad i came across your work last year. thank you, may. excited as always to see what comes next! ;u;

[@skylarjon3464]

Hey friends, I love you all and I hope you're doing well. Sometimes life is hard and it's tough to deal with things, but I'm just glad we can at least share some movies with each other and have these little bits of happiness along the way.

[@goatfromhell666]

I absolutely love this movie. Visually it's a masterpiece, and the story is second to none. It highlights that, as a child, we do not know of the horrors of life because we haven't been taught them yet. We make our own assumptions about what we see, and those assumptions are run through the filter of innocence, which cushions us from the heartache and pain of what's happening. Like Terry says in the foreword: kids are resilient. If you drop them, they bounce.

[@eeev5270]

this is probably one of the best video essays on youtube. i feel just as strongly about this video as i do the movie itself. both cut deep.

[@jessosiyoway]

Two years later and I find out you reviewed a film which is cemented into inside references between close friends who grew up together because... yeah. It hits home, it hits hard, and it captures the mania closest to uphoria in growing up rooted in escapism and neglect.

[@toybonnie2004]

Your able to word things so wonderfully and informatively. Thanks for another great video. This sounds like a hard watch but I think I’d benefit from watching this film.

[@voidwitch1141]

tfw a nyx video helps me more than a decade of therapy lmaooo

[@minako134]

FINALLY watched this, I was afraid to ever since you uploaded it. Thanks for making it. Lots to think about.

[@brodyschum]

Gilliam also did a little-seen flick since Tidelands called The Zero Theorem with Christoph Waltz. It was a callback to the 12 Monkeys/Brazil era.

[@alljustletters]

well, guess i just recovered a memory of watching this film, didn’t think i did. i don’t remember what it felt like to me, but watching it back in this way was a lot. thank you for talking about our childhood traumas, thank you for making this video. and i’m also sorry that happened to you.

[@HOOTwheelz]

Good lord, May. This is easily the best video you've made so far just because of how incredibly necessary the content was for me. i've been thinking a lot about trauma to try and understand why I have OSDD, or how i even got traumatized in the first place. and after hearing your definition of trauma explained so plainly with clear examples, a lot of repressed memories came up. and uh, yeah. wow. it helped a lot. idk what else to say except that we (by "we" i mean me and my headmates) appreciate this a lot. thank you.

[@branhasknowidea]

Thank you for this. I love this nightmare (putting it lightly) of a film. This is an excellent essay. Very glad I followed up on the recommendation to watch this. You definitely earned this subscription. This is one of the very few films I will spoil due to what you will see, how it might make you feel. Having to do that for "how it might make you feel", and how intense of emotions it can provoke with such pure innocence and vile disgust, simultaneously, is just one reason I will keep recommending this film, and now this essay to people, but only when they're ready. EDIT: Thinking about it, "very few" become a long list. Relatively speaking in the scope of "traditional cinema", I guess.

[@alvagaddnas6591]

Whoa!! This in one of my all time favourite movies! I'm always stoked to hear your viewpoints in general, but I am beyond stoked about this!

[@numb3r5ev3n]

Fun fact! Jeff Bridges often wears his own clothes when making movies, and I think that's the same happi coat he wore as Kevin Flynn in Tron in 1982.

[@Ezakur]

Also! I remember someone describe this movie as the best remake of My Neighbour Totoro... and it's such a fucked up comparisoon, but also super appropiate

[@elfsieben1450]

LOL

[@takethewordss]

Okay. I was just thinking about this movie and how no one on yt has really spoken about it. And I just smoked a big bowl and here's May with a 40 min video, and me currently dealing with my childhood ptsd while in quarantine.... Let'sfuckinggoooo.ahhhhhhlol

[@Wardog01Actual]

Well done, Nyx! You made this make sense! This movie is, indeed, a hard watch, but you explained it perfectly. And helped explain life in the process. Thank you for your efforts.

[@goblinofmossandmud1794]

Love the dress! The dolls n corner sword are nice touches too

[@SilentChelsea]

it is wild how your experience w/ children and your own childhood changes when you have/raise children. there was a long time in my life that i didn't remember my own childhood other than a few snapshots, like scattered memories of really good stuff, mostly things that i refused to let myself forget b/c they were about ppl that have since died, but once i became the parent, a lot of old memories resurfaced. not all of them good or bad, just suddenly THERE. i couldn't ignore them anymore. i couldn't keep them hidden. no one tells you that raising a kid or a couple of kids will trigger a lot of stuff. i'm incredibly overprotective, always watching over them, stifling them at times i feel like and i never thought i would be Like That. i can't stop seeing all the worst stuff of my own childhood in them and it is really hard to cope w/ sometimes. i get angry-- not AT them but b/c they had inadvertently triggered a memory i can't process while i'm trying to be a parent to them too. it is like i can't stop myself from being an upset kid lashing out rather than the grown-up. and of course, then i feel fucking terrible that i snapped at them and i have to try and not fall into the cycle of abuse/neglect that my parents had w/ me. it is... a lot. it really is. but this video really hit a soft spot and i am very much here for whimsical, american gothic vibe may 🖤

[@TheActualCathal]

I watched this film once in my teens and loved it. But since then I've wrestled a lot with why exactly I liked it so much and have never re-watched it. I definitely never extrapolated so much about how Jeliza-Rose would be processing it all as abuse when she grew up. If anything I interpreted it that her dialogue with the little doll heads were a way of exorcising all of the psychological corruption, inoculating her in a way.

[@maxa51]

omg this video hit me so freaking hard for a lot of reasons, like it almost feels like it targets me specifically. like my childhood was also completely filled with neglect that's left me unable to deal with the world. and the movie itself brings up a ton of those feelings as well. the part about boys especially because I really did feel that way because of the social script I was handed it makes me feel like the time I've been avoiding this video was really justified. oh and my name is Rebecca now and not Andrew so please call me that instead! =P

[@sheen8270]

Thank you May! Just finished watching your video. I have not seen or heard of Tideland until now. I don't know if I could handle watching it. But I really felt my stomach drop when you talked about the concept of, I think you called it the social script?

[@joyg2526]

I remember why I blanked this movie out of my memory now. Terry Gilliam has been giving me nightmares through his movies since I was little, he's very consistent.

[@Qtpi4]

Based on what my husband has told me abt his estranged mom who'd go on week-long benders, the movie might be a pretty accurate portrayal of how quickly kids adapt to shitty situations.

[@takeoutcentral]

this birthday just keeps on getting better, a nyx fears vid today of all days

[@KittyPieKris]

this was a really thoughtful video as always. thank you for sharing your perspective and taking us on this (deeply unsettling, but worthwhile) journey.

[@bilwisss]

Tideland, never ceases to make me happy. there is a soul there, there is a happy end, there is a moral.

[@TWELVE-ax7]

My head is kind of in overdrive after this. That was a lot. And it was worth it. Thanks again, May.

[@TheRainstorm97]

A FORTY minute long Nyx video... I literally dropped my phone when I got the notification and I turned off the show I was watching. Let's get in!!!

[@lotusm1873]

around the halfway mark it started hitting too close to home ... so good tho im so obsessed w all of ur content and ur hair looks so fucking good

[@PlaidBloomer]

I watched this fresh outta high school and its always lingered in my mind, its so surreal! It was really great to see your thoughts, you connected a lot of points I really couldn't at the time. Incredibly tasteful discussion of really hard subjects.

[@thefollowingisatest4579]

One of the best vids in your already impressive ouvre. Gilliam is someone I will always feel conflicted about, and this film will be perhaps the most severe example.

[@Jason-ue7gi]

This is...a wild video and a wild movie. Really raw material, thank you for making such an in-depth and detailed video!

[@deja3963]

I’ve watched this movie several times. I thought she was spitting out blood from a tooth. I had no idea the starvation was that extreme. Poor baby.

[@tmgravy]

your bye bye man video is still one of my all time favorite videos on this entire website

[@justalittleloser2482]

You talking about neglect and love confusing the child REALLY unlocked some stuff for me- though my experiences are nothing like the movie. my mom was dangerously helicopter-y (she would even sit in the room during my childhood therapy sessions) but shes still very.. motherly. Not your usual type of neglect, but it really fucked me up. its INCREDIBLY difficult to hold that juxtaposition of that in my head. That too much love is its own type of neglect

[@elfsieben1450]

Control is not love. It can easily become abusive. Especially if paired with love, it can have a violating effect that renders the victim helpless. Check out the psychological concept of "double bind".

[@joeyj6808]

Yeah, life is frequently horrible and hard to witness if we are not in the middle of it. Kudos to any artist who can deliver us into it.

[@maybelikealittlebit]

Fuck did I ever love tideland as a much too young child to watch it. Maybe ten? Or twelve? Absolutely blew my mind to pieces and I would constantly think about it. Similar experience I had when I watched thirteen... except that’s tailored to teenagers where this is... I’m not quite sure. Tailored to those with a tough upbringing?? Cant wait to watch your video!!! LOVE YOU MAY💗👏

[@maybelikealittlebit]

The ending made me cry. Thank you. 💕🥺

[@EmperorKrow]

God, uve probably got the best grip on the world of anybody ive ever listened to.

[@somaliakanister6580]

This video was...so good? Like really, really good. I appreciate your work so much, May.

[@crazyfun95]

Wow... I have been thinking lately about the things I took as normal when I was younger, which looking back, seem very bad. This video kind of crystalizes the idea of neglect, innocence and childhood.

[@JesseBakerH]

16:54 wow, you really hit the nail on the head here about the CORE of what makes so much of this uncomfortable.

[@FuriosoDrummer]

"Trauma is when you can't put together why something happened to you" lady i do not like how true that is