MORE OF THIS GOD AWFUL SAINTS ROW REBOOT

[@rinakitty9283]

They're right, they don't look like a gang. They look more like the type of people who make their dogs a Twitter account just to roleplay as them.

[@bonesaw2716]

They totally look like Spoony

[@TheBanMan]

@@bonesaw2716 The movie's coming out any day now

[@DameOfDiamonds]

They look like they're about to lecture me on Anarcho-communism

[@stanharold7641]

The type to constantly tweet political hot takes but if you ever call them out on their bullshit they just say "Dude you're arguing with a dog on Twitter."

[@DameOfDiamonds]

@@stanharold7641 it's their way of shutting down any sort of criticism

[@peperonypeperony7955]

Luckily, all ~200 of the people the gangster player character has murdered, robbed, injured, carjacked, or manslaughtered thus far have kicked a dog or they've probably done a capitalist thing like renting out a property, so you don't have to feel morally conflicted.

[@jfk8745]

As a property owner I can state I'm 100% evil, a pure menace, an actual Neer-Do-Well

[@tomtheconqerur]

As some who sold some tf2 items I am evil made manifest.

[@ata2485]

Playing those tycoon games on Roblox have made me unable to go to heaven and sent directly to hell

[@magisterrleth3129]

I've actually learned a lot from this game, just so you know. I learned rent is bad, capitalism is bad, waffles are good, and so is day drinking as long as you have a fun name for it, and I also learned that if someone ever kicks a dog, the moral and just thing to do is rob them at gunpoint or kill them. I also learned that as long as I parrot these things during my job interview, I could become a writer for Volition Games.

[@j.2512]

but at least he is not raycist

[@d00gz_]

I can’t wait for the iconic canoe mission where the main character says “Alright Saints! Row!” and then everyone in the room begins to clap

[@pocketlint60]

Pierce would absolutely have said that in the original game and thought it was actually clever, or Johnny Gat would've said it knowing it was lame just so he could laugh at everyone's reactions.

[@eddiemudie952]

This joke is terrible and I deeply love it.

[@Wetknees]

Not even sure if this is a joke. That’s probably in the game

[@Cruddyhorse]

Honestly that's such a dumb joke I love it.

[@aztro.99]

then the main character would complain about the distribution of labor and begin to quote karl marx

[@MerryTheJerryKun]

How could a cutscene of someone toppling a billboard with a car on top of the police feel so...energyless?

[@hollenhammer]

the entire scene was lethargic

[@FurryMcMemes]

The funny thing is similar things have happened in the old Saints Row games and we're enjoyable moments.

[@ginogatash4030]

boring camera work and barely any energy in the music or animations.

[@travisdickens4304]

The car just casually drives sideways on the sign, parks, and then it just falls over slowly. It’s like the animators have never seen anything going fast, and frankly they deserve to get hit by one.

[@brickbusters1940]

@@FurryMcMemes true but this felt... static... like they don't understand how metal works. I understand its an unrealistic scene, but the way the metal bends like paper instead of braking and cracking felt so out of touch. and how the car just sticks like a wet cloth on a wall instead of making contact and braking in one fluid motion pulled you out of it.

[@Flatworm_Steve]

"Buy a skill that makes the writers take a class at writing." Zach's brutal roasts of this game are hysterical.

[@MitridatedCarbon]

The problem is that a lot of classes teach this is how you should write and basically ruin new writers. Like, they say you can't describe a land as "barren" or an economy as "crippled" cause they are ableist adjectives

[@Opheliakami]

@@MitridatedCarbon ...source?

[@Opheliakami]

@@MitridatedCarbon oh wait, you're a shoeinmouth fan, never mind.

[@ginogatash4030]

​@@Opheliakami what the fuck is shoeinyourmouth?

[@MitridatedCarbon]

@@Opheliakami who's shoeinmouth?

[@eddiemudie952]

Been complaining about this kind of "unhinged violent thief is actually a fun quirky hero" writing for over ten years and this series is like heroin for me.

[@NotShiggy]

I blame the popularity of Deadpool for this.

[@codyjames1054]

I feel like RDR does this trope best cause their whole arc is about realizing they are no better than other criminals.

[@TitankroW]

@@codyjames1054 but Arthur Morgan and john marston aren’t fun quirky characters they’re tragic characters born or adopted into a life of crime and the era of a dying Wild West attempting to run away from their past and live a good moral life but it inevitably always catches up to them

[@PALACIO254]

@@TitankroW also the fact that you can embrace being an evil bastard and lean into it

[@maninblack3410]

@@codyjames1054 I disagree, I think both John and Arthur never actually display the moral failings that the games want you to believe they have. I mean, the games want you to think what you’re saying, but the actions of both characters (in the stories at least) go against that message. Aside from shooting people (that shoot back) the worst thing Arthur does is begrudgingly collect debt. I don’t remember anything immoral John does in RDR1 but that game had the benefit of us not knowing his past in detail so we could believe he left his failings in that past. RDR2 shows us he’s been an angel his entire life lol. Quick edit: that being said, I believe both games are written very well. I think they both have faults, but I definitely think they’re well written. This saints row dialogue is straight trash.

[@NeutralGuyDoubleZero]

There's a mission where you steal generic happy meal toys for shirtless guy, followed up by forced sappy backstory that he never got toys as an orphan and how theyre gonna donate them all to charity "Hell yeah" Meanwhile you've been blowing away dozens of people trying to stop/arrest you the whole mission. This entire game is written by Tiktok and Twitter addicts

[@ericacarlita3860]

Did they at least get a Rainbow Dash? At least then he can pretend it’s Rarity

[@michaelkitchin9665]

And then that back story is never mentioned again. Same with Neenah's dead cancer mother. They really don't know what to do or say with these characters. Picking an appearance for them is as far as they got.

[@randeli7785]

Its even funnier when you realize the characters have most likely created many orphans throughout the game, and they sit on a moral high horse about how they're helping people.

[@b1nary_f1nary]

They fucking rob people so they can pay their rent. They are despicable lol

[@xnotasweatx]

@@ericacarlita3860wainbow* Wawity*

[@mikecampos1193]

I like how Chris and Zack aren't holding back their criticism but Tomar he's trying to keep a cool head but deep down they know there's an evil inside him the boys know it.

[@AMan-xz7tx]

the last time tomar talked about his opinions he was banned from 34 different radio stations and blacklisted from hollywood, but thankfully they didn't have to edit out nearly as many slurs this time around

[@aztro.99]

@@AMan-xz7tx i still got the footage of tomar in blackface on family feud, i’ll upload it tmr

[@degayify]

thats a bummer

[@bigjohnsbreakfastlog5819]

We know that the evil can only be unleashed once all eight Tomar Emeralds are gathered together.

[@DrewPickles69]

Tomar is desperately trying to remember what a video game is while firing into the air with a pistol and keeping the screams of his victims out of his head

[@Skellington77]

"If you don't want this to be a gang game don't call this a saints row game" you'd feel like this would be easy advice to understand

[@nicklockk]

Saints Row 4 was great and people would realize it if it was called "Matrix Rip-Off The Game" instead

[@eclatshwartzbaumcybertune2063]

@@nicklockk maybe - but also “they live- ripoff”

[@jam.lob.]

People who make stuff like this KNOW what they’re doing. They just do it to piggyback off a popular IP

[@Xannyphantom905]

But then nobody would give a fuck about it. I mean people still don't, but it's got some bad attention atleast.

[@sora3mo168]

advice assassins creed should be taking

[@Logan-xo9uc]

This is even funnier when you consider the fact that in every previous saints row game, at least 2 and beyond, part of the joke was that they were all absolutely fucking terrible people which is what made it so funny

[@Makocat]

Maybe that's why it's making fun of lefties or whatever. Cause there's no other explanation for this caricature of reddit being taken seriously.

[@thebadwolf3088]

@@Makocat Is it making fun of lefties though?

[@Yeen66]

@@Makocat I'll never understand why folks gotta make everything political

[@Yeen66]

First of all these characters are still very much bad people and second this is oleg erasure bruh put some respect on that man

[@bim8498]

@@PodreyJenkin138 I think GTA 5 has a pretty balanced tone in it's story. Most of the characters are completely insane and horrible people and yet they still feel like feasible people. I assume that's what people liked about Saints Row 2.

[@scroonboilingster113]

Of course Tomar claims he's never played Hunt Down the Freeman. He's distancing himself from the project; it's a well known FACT he provided 75% of the voiced dialogue for that abomination. Go back and replay Hunt Down The Freeman, Tomar is every male NPC.

[@PALACIO254]

And about half the female ones

[@modernnerd5592]

He also voiced all the sound effects

[@elgeneral5279]

*in tomars voice* Hello my name is Joshua Tomar and I am crinkling my tootsies whilst also hunting down the Freeman. Join me, friends.

[@DAEDRICDUKE1]

@@elgeneral5279 Is it fucked I read this in his chills impression first?

[@elgeneral5279]

@@DAEDRICDUKE1 nah, they're the same person... y-you... you didn't KNOW!?

[@enthiegavoir5955]

"You can go civilian, because we're the good robbers who should be applauded for our millennial attitudes" "It was them officer! They let me walk, I saw their faces and everything!"

[@one-cardpony460]

@@IDonMegaI clearly a scam bot fake nothing account.

[@PR1V1LE6ED]

It makes me wonder where they got these writers.

[@gram.]

Systemic racism with internalised misogyny mainly from straight white males in the capitalistic society perpetuates inherent oppression of marginalised groups through white supremacist fascist tactics which recently promotes fatphobia and is responsible for the mass killings of poly/trans/non-binary & LGBTQIAAP^×2, the progressive imclusive _birthing person_ term and the science-backed fact that men can get pregnant and give birth, is used as a far-right dogwhistle to normalise transphobia. These are all facts just Google it.

[@DjrYouTube]

@@PR1V1LE6ED mars

[@Absolutely_Nobody]

@@IDonMegaI I wonder if the useless piece of human feces managing this account is proud of ushering in the collapse of modern society? Horray! I hope the .7 rubles you earned was worth it.

[@JRB4774]

Accidentally closed my phone when Chris said “stop using your phone” I’ve never felt more powerless

[@louisbowels6858]

One of biggest irks is when developers don't have any confidence their product will sell so they bastardize an old IP to get attention. I agree with Zach, just call it something new or, better yet, have the balls to establish your own IP

[@UnwoundCaesar]

I mean they did that and people didn't buy it

[@Crispman_777]

@@UnwoundCaesar Because it was bad

[@UnwoundCaesar]

@@Crispman_777 yea but don't act like they didn't try

[@joshie0001]

They baited people to buy agents of mayhem by click baiting with SR logo and Johnny Gat

[@demityrant1784]

@@UnwoundCaesar Well then maybe these themes and subjects that they're trying to shoehorn in is just a bad idea to begin with and shouldn't be used.

[@mrboomf3292]

I don’t think we’ve ever seen Zach so legitimately upset. It’s kind of hilarious.

[@Arcademan09]

You know what I think it is? Because Zach is now in a LEGITIMATE animation industry where he has to manage actors, financial spending, directing, writing, production and voice act as well, he's now seeing complete incompetence on a budget and production MUCH higher than he was handling so it's making him really livid seeing all this wasted potential pissed away. In an interview he talked about budget and spending and he had to approve what they could buy for the company and in 1 that completely baffled him was a coffee machine that costed hundred of dollars, if not thousands, and mentioned that the exact same coffee machine he could buy for a fraction of the cost or just get a basic one, because he actually cared to go over their spending he saved his entire staff so much more money so they could actually use it towards the show and the staff

[@cherishporter5314]

@@Arcademan09 I didn’t know that, definitely a changing in character for him.

[@megavidaeos]

I don’t know, he got pretty livid during some of the reddit videos.

[@smileydog5941]

He got mad talking about weebs once lmaooo

[@l.e.b.3541]

His little goblinheart can't take all that stress - give him a BIG hug and put him to rest.

[@thatoneguy4452]

Kinda hard to relate to these victims of capitalism when one has a fancy car, one is obsessed with the latest fashion, and one wants $300 just to buy a waffle iron.

[@El-Burrito]

Yeah at that point, you have to wonder if they're just taking the piss

[@belldaril492]

Ya how dare people who are against capitalism want things. Dont they know anyone against capitalism doesnt participate in capitalism.

[@amazingedits6912]

@@belldaril492 I mean true but the games writing is still abysmal either way. And I’m saying that as someone who could care less about capitalism.

[@thatoneguy4452]

@@belldaril492 cum

[@belldaril492]

@@thatoneguy4452 more like yum am I right fellas?

[@EnwardJim]

Zack really hit the nail on the head describing this game. "Lul it's a narwhal with a spork. Gotta eat a waffle. Fekin capitalism. Doink."

[@Tsugimoto1]

A large swath of fucking free range, internet raised meme-fed millennials have infected modern media... And it's endless entertainment.

[@RealClassixX]

While true, I'm not sure Zach, or anyone of the OneySquad (tm) for that matter, are really in a position to make fun of other people being cringy.

[@EnwardJim]

@RealClassixX With all consideration to the quality of "content" in this video game; they have all the room in the universe to make fun.

[@RealClassixX]

@@EnwardJim With all consideration to the quality of all of their own content, I don't think so.

[@ryman1933]

@@RealClassixX You're allowed to be wrong, but don't be surprised when you get told you are wrong.

[@deviledgregg1705]

"Capitalism bad, diverse group of crime friends good" simulator looks great.

[@seamusthatsthedog4819]

Please don't give up on this series. Watching Zach get legitimately frustrated at a video game is the funniest shit

[@lowhp_comic]

No More Heroes: tried to make an unlikable protagonist, is actually loved by fans Saints Row: tried to make a likable cast, is actually hated by *all*

[@lowhp_comic]

@@rr53213rr he is that, but the first game in particular makes him villainous with his relentless bloodlust, sexual excitement in murder, his motive in killing just to get laid by a girl he finds hot and is unsympathetic to the subtle quarrels of other characters like Dr Peace's relationship with his daughter and he's just a giant jerk, yet your description also makes him a virgin, dorky otaku who's a tiny bit pathetic when you look at him for what he has left outside of assassinations, so it makes him interesting and "likable" seeing this spaz do evil. And then he becomes an anti hero/villain in 2 and completely a Hero in 3

[@demityrant1784]

@@rr53213rr He was very much not supposed to be liked by normal well-adjusted people. His behavior if actually looked at would get him socially crucified.

[@demityrant1784]

@@rr53213rr Oh no I love Travis to death. He's an icon to me but I'm saying on all accounts he's designed to be hated.

[@PUNCHEDPUNCHEDPUNCHED]

@@demityrant1784 Pretty sure when looked at, people would just lose their minds laughing until they're the victim. Take for example Vinny the scumbag, a real life person; it's insane how cartoonishly villainous someone can be irl that you can't help but laugh😂😂😂

[@KeeblerElvesYaoi]

@@PUNCHEDPUNCHEDPUNCHED who are you referring to?

[@Scallycowell]

OG Saints Row: Gang members battle for power and money New Saints Row: Darn gosh nice kids fight corporate CEO’s and eat waffles

[@FoB952]

And make money for rent.

[@Makocat]

I like that their character can pull of all these stunts looking like that. It's 10 times funnier due to how serious the game takes itself

[@lethauntic]

Post-captialist adult kids bringing the hammer of equality upon dog-kicking cooperate CEOs all the while they ride their sick hoverboards with waffles in one hand and a mugmosa in the other. Actually getting chills rn

[@sanguineskull]

Heckin' r/wholesome kids.

[@returnalnocturnal7729]

Idk what y'all are complaining about. Ten years ago everyone agreed Saints Row was a shitty knockoff of GTA that sucked. Now we're gonna pretend that the franchise had an amazing portrayal of gang life and the stories that come with it? Give me a fucking break y'all are just mad the game is quirky about leftist shit. I agree the game is bad, but let's not pretend that the other Saints Row games were any better. Both are cartoonish games not meant to be taken seriously. Get over it

[@smittywerbenjagermanjensen4737]

I agree so hard with what they said in the beginning if you don’t want to make a game about horrible people don’t call it saints row

[@yankoelgueta1116]

I dont think the devs knew what saints row is tho

[@gumbubble101]

They seem pretty horrible to me 😂

[@wesshiflet2214]

call it Devil’s Column

[@GenesHand]

They already tried with agents of mayhem and it was a total failure.

[@TheSearchForTruth88]

@@GenesHand The problem with Agents of Mayhem is that it was still clinging to the Saints Row IP. They seem incapable of taking a risk and doing something ENTIRELY new. There's also the fact that Agents was just a terrible, repetitive game. It could've been fun if the gameplay loop wasn't repetitive and boring.

[@feeble_goblin3764]

Please let this series end like the avengers play through where they just get mad and they just play saints row two or something

[@marccamp6376]

Thew smokew w e e d, fillup bellies with diet soda and play Burnout Revenge for the PEE ESS ChOO'

[@PUNCHEDPUNCHEDPUNCHED]

This game's basically a manifestation of when urbanite rich kids want to be "gangster" 💀💀💀

[@IsobelKelly]

If the writers were self-aware, there’s something in this concept that could be fun. But, nope.

[@j.2512]

its a manifestation of ESG ratings trickling down on culture

[@PUNCHEDPUNCHEDPUNCHED]

@@j.2512 Bro being a gang member is not culture, hell it ain't even a choice😂

[@f-22raptorlandingzone30]

That's what I was assuming the point of the game was going to be from the first ad I got, like they were going to morally degrade or learn just how hard it is over time and completely change

[@seamusthatsthedog4819]

@@f-22raptorlandingzone30 That'd be actually interesting so there's no way it was ever going to happen lol

[@seanpaul93]

love how zach goes to the toilet and immediately chris implies he's basically a fake person

[@joshuahughes4704]

Yeah you can tell there’s drama behind the scenes

[@amp4105]

Honestly, ive had enough of Zach's fake bullcr*p.

[@3agle280]

You could almost hear tomar nervously twiddling his bulbous thumbs, knowing that the Zach they've been hanging out with is a stunt double he hired after the real Zach "suddenly" disappeared off the face of the earth.

[@ODDERBOTTER]

@@joshuahughes4704 Clearly a joke

[@bonesaw2716]

@@ODDERBOTTER No it's not, I'm a graduated psychologist and there's definitely real tension behind the scenes within this group of people. Ignore the signs at your own peril.

[@TheBanMan]

Zach was so busy being Homer he missed the 15th rent joke

[@PALACIO254]

How is Homar J. Simpson going to make rent?

[@Tom-jy6mc]

@@PALACIO254 he's going to drive a snowplow and/or homebrew beer under the nose of a comically serious 1920s police chief

[@marccamp6376]

'DO'H, But MURCH! Mr Burns lowkey killed our vibe with late stage capitalsm, Murch...' 'Grhrhrhrhr Hooomieeee... Dont be such an incel Hoooomieee'

[@SaxyFu]

When Tomar reaches 50% heart tar, he can legally change his name to Totar

[@ldmt1995]

He evolves like a pokemon.

[@bonjolor8298]

Tarmar

[@marccamp6376]

@@bonjolor8298 Totar Tarmar Saucear'

[@CrustlessKing]

Oh, I see how it is, Zack. You become a huge mythic Hollywood success story and mega-celebrity millionaire playboy off of Smiling Friends, buy your 18 different-sized yachts, your beachside and mountaintop mansions all over the globe, and your iconic comically oversized cigars that you light with $100 bills, and now suddenly these highly nuanced criticisms, insightful dialogues, and thoughtfully-constructed parodies highlighting the failures of the modern capitalist system are, in your wouds "le ultra cringe, dude." Okay Mr. Bigtime. Mr. Fatcat. Mr. Media Mogul. When the little people you're spitting on finally rise up and put me and my friends from Reddit in charge of things, you're gonna be so sorry you turned your back on the cause and the people who got you where you are today. Think about that the next time you're forcing all your hundreds of wageslave marginalized female immigrant servants to go around on hands and knees licking the ground in front of you everywhere you walk because, and I quote "your feet are too pure to touch unclean earth."

[@xbigbooshx4643]

I am confident that some people on Reddit unironically think that way.

[@klg9549]

Jokes aside it surprises me that people still misspell Zach's name

[@CrustlessKing]

@@klg9549 It was intentional.

[@niono1587]

For realz dude... this zak guy needs to WAKE UP!!!

[@dexaphobia8085]

@@klg9549 that’s actually the only bit of false information in that comment

[@DraphEnjoyer]

How does something like this unironically get made? You would think after over 5 years of brutal internet mocking of tropes/characters like this the people writing it would think to just stop

[@IsobelKelly]

It does seem as though these writers have no experience, not enough exposure to tropes or cliches.

[@j.2512]

Blackrock and ESG ratings

[@retard115]

@@j.2512 Knowers know

[@Dr.Trustmeonthisone]

@@j.2512 Blackcock controls the world exhibit a: saints row

[@koboldengineering7687]

Money laundering

[@jameson7276]

They should have called it YIIK: A Late Stage Capitalist Desert Rent Simulator

[@zealotlee]

*alex screaming face* WE GOTTA MAKE RENT?!?!?!?!

[@KnotaFed]

Ah yes, self-insert stereotypes of the developers are far more entertaining than functional psychopaths.

[@conserva-chan2735]

YIIK was proof of that

[@KudoRedfox]

@@conserva-chan2735 "Reading this comment made me feel a certain agitation, made me vibrate anger" -Alex YIIK (Maybe)

[@f-22raptorlandingzone30]

@@KudoRedfox that's way too short, it'd be more like "Reading this guy's comment under the video suddenly made me feel a sudden rise in angered agitation, as if a small miner in my brain has finally picked away at the grey matter with a mind-pickaxe and struck a never before strucken nerve that isn't meant to be struck as if it was gold. It made me angrily vibrate with agitated motion the likes of which I've never known before"

[@newusernamehere4772]

@@f-22raptorlandingzone30 are you the writer of YIIK

[@SammEater]

@@f-22raptorlandingzone30 WHAT IS GOING ON?!

[@s.i.m.poster6823]

I love how they made the hair colors in the thumbnail change. So accurate.

[@ScatterBrainedYouBetterFollow]

Poisonous frog moment

[@FluffyIronGolems]

and the avocado toast is purple thanos feces

[@VexxyKay]

I wonder if Tomar's one long strand of hair underneath his hat also changed colors

[@CheeseDudInTheOven]

@@VexxyKay His' iconic rainbow trilby hat

[@f-22raptorlandingzone30]

@@VexxyKay that's not supposed to change color y'know, that's tomars sensor node. If that gets dyed or anything like that he'll become a vegetable

[@sirlimen333]

The fact that they credited their Reddit mods makes it all the more stereotypical.

[@TheBanMan]

I mean crediting the active community members isnt a terrible thing at all. I think about how the teams that made Civilization 3 and 4 had an especially close relationship with fansites like CivFanatics and Apolyton. The stereotypical part is that all of their Reddit mods had the post history of criminal sex perverts

[@xbigbooshx4643]

Certified Reddit moment.

[@seamusthatsthedog4819]

@@TheBanMan It's like a parody that writes itself

[@krajicsek13]

And one of them, I forgot his username something 666 actually said it on Reddit(or on some other site) that he r*ped someone who was underaged

[@j.2512]

they did it for free

[@EsteemedReptile]

I really love how brutal the boys are being on this awful game. I'm so out of sympathy for the videogame industry.

[@xbigbooshx4643]

Same. The AAA game4 industry deserves very little sympathy. The indie devs are where it's at now. They still have passion for their projects.

[@AcidicMentality]

I'm pretty sure that according to Twitter that means you're a racist transphobe.

[@colt-_-jonson1743]

@@xbigbooshx4643 alex yiik.. nuff said.

[@TheBfutgreg]

@@xbigbooshx4643 At least the AAs and Nintendo aren't fucking up stuff yet

[@mrRufffnTumble]

Ya know I've always said the one thing these open world style games were missing was relatable and random, and quirky millenial protagonists. The part where they shared mugmosa's and complained about rent and capitalism had me in stitches, it really reminded me of me and my pals just hanging in the wolfs lair (that's what we call our clubhouse). This game really delivers on all fronts. I give it 5 out of 5 mega L's -Adolf Hitler, IGN

[@Dampzombieslayer]

I don’t think adolf hitler would really say that

[@emstink]

@@Dampzombieslayer you're right, adolf was a good Christian boy, he'd never say "mugmosa" because that means he's appropriating someone else's culture 😡

[@milkinobama]

One of the biggest issues the characters had in this game was that the writers tried to make them quirky and relatable, which is not what saint row is.

[@osakeleto]

marvel writing syndrome

[@rish1656]

Wdym? You dont pay rent by shooting people for a pmc?

[@329link]

Exactly. SR was never meant to be "relatable". It was essentially the opposite, an escape to a world where you can freely be someone you're not, morals be damned. But these days being a psychopath in a video game equates to being a psychopath irl somehow, like those polygons on a tv screen are somehow close enough to real humans.

[@sora3mo168]

they also got rid of the male cockney accent, ive carried that character since 2 n they just got lazy

[@f-22raptorlandingzone30]

@@329link let's just hope nobody teabags them or they'll be on trial for more than being a psychopath

[@nebulaeclipse8901]

Unironically this is how Reddit sees themselves and the world, I'm convinced

[@KitKat_293]

Next we need a game that pinterest really sees themselves in. Then discord. Then wikihow. Then

[@Goblilingus]

@@KitKat_293 Imagine a 4chan one.

[@diobrando2160]

@@Goblilingus I think that's just Wolfenstein

[@ScootyPuffJrSux]

@Shiting Scrotum Like Postal but not fun at all

[@Kazoo_man64]

I didnt know reddit was a person

[@lyifeld9778]

At 1:14 for a frame you can see a model in a sitting position just floating there, sort of like a ghost. As if this game couldn't get anymore terrifying than being priced $60 dollars.

[@lethauntic]

I mean, to be fair, that's a pretty mild issue... its just a frame. literally everything else sucking I'd agree with though.

[@StitchPen]

@@lethauntic You have to be kidding me, I nearly went into cardiac arrest and had an asthma attack due to the shock from witnessing that. I don't know how the devs haven't been sued yet.

[@emstink]

Leave the guy alone, he's just a ghost having a ghost shit good god no one gets any damn privacy nowadays

[@izzys6472]

Holy shit, it’s Screaming Disappearing Chair Man!

[@mightyborges9473]

With his iconic quote: “Oh-AaAAAaAaAa-“

[@BigWheel.]

This game is a prime example of why it's better to make a character unlikable intentionally as opposed to making a "likeable" character who's actually very unlikable on accident.

[@kingofthereef9675]

Like Alex YIIK?

[@BigWheel.]

@@kingofthereef9675 I'm not familiar with that character unfortunately.

[@Pinnaporaptor]

@@kingofthereef9675 Except Alex was written to be unlikable, they just didn't go anywhere good with it.

[@SammEater]

Alex Yiik is pretty much a lost member of this Saints gang.

[@TheBfutgreg]

OR better make a sympathetic and mostly likeable character eventually become unlikable as the series progresses like Breaking Bad and to a lesser extent Death Note

[@gravenightghoul]

The fact that the sideswipe is just a watered down version of the Sleeping Dogs one is so telling.

[@ShickFap]

I suddenly wanna reinstall Sleeping Dogs and just play that again. Thanks!

[@daltonbecker4494]

@@ShickFap Sleeping Dogs is one of the best games out there and it is so bizarrely forgettable.

[@zed6234]

I'd guarantee you the actual saints boss would start throwing slurs at the reboot gang in less than 5 seconds and they'd start crying lmao

[@whitenoise8280]

(Read in Kermit's voice) THE REPUBLICANS - the game

[@Abdega]

☕️ 🐸

[@RacingSnails64]

I would pay to hear Kermit say "late stage capitalism"

[@GoblehTheCat]

no way, they YIIK'd all over saints row

[@demityrant1784]

Fuck they spilled it everywhere.

[@Makocat]

This is actually the YIIK Finale

[@Ch0c0lateChimp]

Volition: "The older Saints Row games were a product of their time and outdated." Also Volition: *Does zero innovation on their new title*

[@seamusthatsthedog4819]

This game is going to be seen as the very definition of "an outdated product of its time" in about 5 to 10 years.

[@ginogatash4030]

it is true that the saints row games are dated products of their time, but that includes this game and at least the others were fun to play.

[@JustapErson]

@@seamusthatsthedog4819 Exactly what I was thinking. In 5 years (hopefully less), everyone will look back at this and things like this and think "what the hell were we thinking."

[@theguylivinginyourwalls]

@@seamusthatsthedog4819 It's outdated _now._

[@randeli7785]

Remrmber seeing one of the devs saying that stuff like dildo weapons were outdated for today, and in the same week "The Boys" had a character kill people with dildos.

[@dextergrif2019]

This game would be a masterpiece if they purposely set up annoying characters just so you could kill them and play as cooler ones. Somebody make a game like that!

[@thebrunssss]

I kept telling my friends that if the game started with these cringey ass characters being shot by Johnny or the boss I would’ve bought the game

[@Cruddyhorse]

That's the only way they can save the franchise at this point.

[@Zergei]

Kinda like The Suicide Squad, which managed to make you feel attached to characters you don't know lol

[@seamusthatsthedog4819]

I swear I've played a game that started out like that but I can't remember which.

[@TheRetroShepherd]

The fact that the original games' city of Stilwater is mentioned in dialogue once in this game at least gives me hope of imagining a sequel where the OG saints come to town and beat the shit out of these losers for stealing their identity

[@faboo2001]

"These are not the kinds of people that would ever do this shit" Exactly! Obviously all the bugs aren't doing the game any good, but this is ultimately the main issue with the game that a simple patch can't fix.

[@UnwoundCaesar]

Can no one be a criminal do criminals have to look a certain way

[@faboo2001]

@@UnwoundCaesar no, of course anyone can commit crimes. However we're specifically looking at the idea of these guys starting up a gang, which is just laughably unrealistic. Which is saying a lot considering the things you can do in this game!

[@UnwoundCaesar]

@@faboo2001 yea I get ya maybe I'm just a weirdo and not just looking into super detail about it

[@blackjackgabbiani19]

@@UnwoundCaesar simple way to think about it. Original Saints Row was about a bunch of gangsters doing gangster shit. Reboot SR is like if the cast of Friends took a bunch of stupid pills and decided to play Robin hood, with guns, while complaining about capitalism.

[@demityrant1784]

@@UnwoundCaesar You seem to be for this all, and I will just clarify, this has nothing to do with the look. These people complain about people being morally corrupt and "fighting the man" and all this shit, but it is in this game it is encouraged to just shoot people randomly, commit atrocities and what not. At what point are you just flat out worse than your enemy in this whole morality race? The thing about the other people from past games can look however they want, but their political ideology didn't come with a high horse and a 6 foot peg to anally afix themselves to it with. On top of this, I just noticed this argument being made for this game and anything with its subject matter, the people defending usually are the first to make something deeper, offensive, or more political than something really is i.e. women hating, racial discrimination what have you, when something really was harmless to most normal people. When something subliminally supports leftish stuff however, ya'll mysteriously say "it isn't that deep" or "don't look into super detail about it". People that oppose these ideologies are quite numerous and they aren't stupid. They see what is happening like lefties do. People just have different priorities.

[@The_Queen_Chrysalis]

I honestly, truely, want them to play the whole game, just to hear Zach absolutely shit on it every step of the way.

[@TJDJ-2003]

Facts

[@idiotonhiskeyboard4199]

Someone please animate the whole man vs women intimidation bit into the scene where batman talks to the riddler

[@shy8291]

"things change quickly here at marshall" *immediately teleports to the city at night*

[@TheOneWhoIsBuiltDifferent]

I love Hunt Down the Freeman and how he fucked up someone's face. The game ask such a simple yet very thought provoking question of the ethics of face fucking

[@capacitatedflux]

I can't get over just how visceral a reaction Zach is having to the writing of this game. He's right on all points, of course, but it's also the way he's conveying that he's just dying any time someone speaks.

[@WllKiedSnake]

Because its kinda soul crushing to see such a good IP as Saints Row turn into this.

[@capacitatedflux]

@@WllKiedSnake it's also because Zach is such a great writer of believable, natural dialogue and this writing is anything but natural.

[@Makocat]

It's so cartoony I can't tell if the game is making fun of those kinds of people or is not self aware and in fact kinda tone deaf

[@WllKiedSnake]

@@Makocat Compare it to Watch Dogs 2. A game also with Hipster characters. That game had decent writing and characters. This game does not.

[@IronManx70]

It reminds of Dead Rising 4's writing

[@bromosome8049]

4:40 I love the writers forgot they had you surrounded and not just stopped by 2 police. They didn't even put the other cars in the background 😭😭

[@Coconut-219]

"Rage against the machine!" - "You ARE the machine."

[@jackknife01]

These characters read like they were written by the type of millennials who might say "yeah I watched 'How I met your mother' growing up and 'friends' reruns over a decade after it aired and LOVED IT"

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

“I never grew up from my early 20s and I’m making that EVERYONE else’s problem” energy. I hate when people like that get to make games.

[@niravathu7353]

I hate that the character calls himself a badass while being the exact person to break down in tears when the local Starbucks runs out of Soy Milk

[@youknowwhoelsecantthinkofagood]

Badass, so long as every enemy character continues to be extremely accommodating to the clunky shooting mechanics.

[@gigastrike2]

Tomar and Zack aren't friends outside of work. They just come into work at 7 am and silently sit down at their respective desks where they write jokes for the day's episode. Then they totally phone it in during the recording.

[@0CLOWNFISH0]

16:13 I just imagine Zach and Chris saying this while walking in a circle facing each other as if they’re two lions about to fight

[@KugelBlitz0]

19:30 I always try to follow the traffic rules, but then there's always that one car (npc or player) that cuts me off or something, then I go into a psychotic rampage and start playing the game normal.

[@Lift4Luke]

Ah yes... Tomar's iconic killing move "5 bullets to the head"

[@premopreoni]

Bro that little sting at 16:04, editing perfection

[@chloeprice9649]

"Lucky there's a family guy comin' to save you." better be in Best of Zach 2

[@dragomight8851]

Our heroes: "We fight against capitalism and student loans. We're the good guys!" Also them: Robs a random store and canonically murder cops. This is a fucking satire, right?

[@Abdega]

It’s okay though because they are on the right side of history /s

[@xbigbooshx4643]

Self awareness for the writers must have been rock bottom when they wrote these garbage tier characters.

[@grundierungtaglich6241]

reddit: da geim

[@Cruddyhorse]

Didn't you hear them say the store owner kicked a dog once? And the cops all arrested someone for pissing in public or something or idk, maybe be creative unlike the writers of this game.

[@carcrashjayson]

Killing cops is a good guy thing nowadays. Also they robbed a payday loan store, which are usually considered predatory.

[@pyrotechnick420]

Creating a toxic male character solely for sake of belittlement sounds like an idea that would come out of a woke echo-chamber twitter feed

[@milliondollarmistake]

@haomavarga are you lost or just mentally challenged?

[@hollenhammer]

isn't that the plot of 2016 ghostbusters

[@JustapErson]

@@hollenhammer It's the plot of almost everything since 2016.

[@saa-wnbaw]

its the kind of writing you'd expect from one of those godawful webcomics no one reads unironically

[@Jose_Doe]

@@saa-wnbaw like what?

[@odin_191]

This is a perfect example of a vapid, hollow modern-day AAA game that's lost any sense of identity it might have had given its franchise. There is nothing I have seen so far that would make me dish out 60 bucks for this crap

[@WihlyBT]

"Late Stage" is a pretty fucking cool name for a game, not gonna lie

[@brainc0la-_-]

Actually might have worked for this game, got a cheap laugh from me at least.

[@Blackhawks19_xx]

This entire game is the embodiment of those girls that always say “omg I’m so random”

[@pintolerance785]

The only reason they like the driving mechanics in this game is because they haven't discovered that there isn't any collision with anything in this game because they haven't been hitting anything, you can literally drive a tiny car going like 10 mph through semi trucks, buses, street lamps, and an entire street of cars, and your car will lose literally 0 acceleration, so no nothing about this game not even the driving.

[@b1nary_f1nary]

4:43 she ACTUALLY said the line "you called for a ride?" after that stunt. Incredible

[@OctoNyan]

Just when I was hoping for another episode of this, it’s uploaded. Bless 🙏

[@pamikokitty]

i want them to get to the mission where you are depressed and cant get out of bed in the morning

[@Jose_Doe]

Nice pfp

[@silvermoon4229]

Holy shit, them Oney boys really called out more of the games predictably shitty writing and didn't even realize it 9:25 10:20

[@vonnie0_0]

You’re right lmao

[@Alec_Reaper]

I want MORE student loan debt JOKES. it tickles my MILLENNIAL smooth brain

[@C.I...]

MORE IN-GAME PHONE APPS FOR BASIC GAME FUNCTIONS

[@makutas-v261]

Nooo my ukrainerinos

[@John-Adams]

A brain so smooth you actually support Ukraine

[@Kazoo_man64]

@@John-Adams L

[@tapeadeadworm]

@@Kazoo_man64 L+

[@Littleraza]

I’m sitting in school and listening to the “Mega L” sketch literally had me quietly pissing my pants

[@WplusMouse1]

if you pause really quickly at 1:14 a man very briefly squats in the street and I'm surprised none of them noticed him flicker on the screen for a quarter of a second, this game is better at being unintentionally funny than actually funny

[@MattTheriot]

Zack absolutely effortlessly destroys reddit, I love it.

[@LarvaTubaShow]

“Lucky theres a family guy coming to save you” caught me off guard so bad lmao

[@drewbakka5265]

>despite being a very popular upload oney and friends refuse to make more >because it would mean they would have to keep playing this nightmare

[@lennoxadams7645]

I love when tomar tells us the stories about his gang the tough guy tomars it's still a shame he retired to run his smoke stacks instead

[@javis88h]

"We're nice robbers" Blows up cop cars. with the mini goals titled "Vehicular Homicide."

[@thermojam9318]

thinkin about the goons at 14:20 that just kinda stand there doing absolutely nothing

[@WoodWisp]

This game insanely enough is by far my favorite playthrough you guys have ever done. And the funniest part about it is that 90% of the funny coming from the game is probably not intended to be satirical

[@retroelite1019]

This game tried so hard to offend no one but ended up offending everyone.

[@StickyFinguz]

If they hate capitalism so much why don't they just give this game out for free?

[@sirlimen333]

I don't think anyone will take it either way.

[@L.Pondera]

Give it some time, it will be.

[@lethauntic]

Probably because most people who seem to be anti-capitalist, especially on the internet, are the last people to put their money where their mouth is

[@TheBanMan]

From each according to his rentability, to each according to his soylent consumption

[@xbigbooshx4643]

B-but muh communist utopia ☹

[@JimmyMcG33]

the old saints row was *for* suburban kids who want to be gangsters, the new saints row is *about* suburban kids who want to be gangsters

[@fuckiopussigetti453]

The old Saints Row was for The Westside Rollerz. The new Saints Row is for the people that The Rollerz bullied in middle and high school.

[@spaman7716]

At least the first 4 Saints Row games were decent for what they were, writing and gameplay included, this one has decade old gameplay combined with writing that came out of a boomer brainstorming meeting where they think they know how Zoomers talk. Its honestly makes more sense when you add a sitcom laugh track to it.

[@WllKiedSnake]

Gat Out of Hell wasn't actually that bad looking back. It was pretty unique if I'm honest. Agents of Mayhem is even a better game than this.

[@skinnywhitedude8765]

I've seen edited clips of some of the game's cutscenes with laugh tracks added in and it's almost uncanny how much it feels like a subpar sitcom.

[@L.Pondera]

Don't forget to add "Bazinga"

[@gagnorblu]

Yeah, at least Zinyak doing hilariously petty shenanigans had fun writing, this is just sad.

[@kanna-san.]

@@gagnorblu zinyak was awesome, i wish he was in a better remembered game

[@PapaLuge]

I like how Tomar's choccy soylent milk has become more of an Avocado smoothie

[@NOMM4DER]

3:35 sound of the conception of Tomar's child.

[@Nyctosuba]

I really want the boys to play Saints Row 2 now, not only is it really fun but I can't wait to see the juxtaposition of "aw shucks we can't pay rent!" to the absolute fucking evil of locking some in the trunk of a car and crushing it with a monster truck.

[@L.Pondera]

2 and 3 were great games. 3 was more wacky but it had a lot of fun with the concept. But 2, 2 was in the right balancing point of cartoon violence and breaking bad levels of drama and action. And it never took itself seriously. 4 wasn't a tragedy, but it went too far into crazy lol random BS, it really could've been a freaking DLC for 3. It's like how Far cry 3 had blood dragon, fine to go balls to the wall for a DLC but not leave the ground for the main game. Speaking of, that's another franchise that's been murdered this year... The writing for 6 is just as appalling and even worse.

[@Nyctosuba]

@@L.Pondera I've been playing Far Cry 6 recently and gameplay-wise it's right up there with 5 for my favorite, but the Maximas Matanazas chapter broke me and made me stop on my first playthrough, I've never played a game that had writing that was so insufferable that blowing shit up with tanks and planes couldn't make up for it.

[@L.Pondera]

@@Nyctosuba it's a fine game to play, but it's a shit story where you're forced to play an actual moron following equally if not more stupid people. Dialog is agony, plot is forced and annoying and the "right tool for the job" aspect of the gameplay is absolutely wasted since you literally need and only benefit using the AP bullets. It looks great and is a massive location, but it feels empty and I swear they only know how to say fuck , yankee and cano. The stunted vocabulary doesn't just suck you out of the game, it annoys you to the point you want to just mute that damn TV. They went backwards with the accuracy of several weapons models, made the damage models feel off and removed perks and forced you to have specific clothing for bonuses and severely limited ammo supply (which again makes you use AP for head shot kills since everything is otherwise too tanky).

[@ginogatash4030]

​@@L.Pondera just this year? not every other year since 2012 where they copy pasted far cry 3 over and over again?

[@L.Pondera]

@@ginogatash4030 4 and 5 we're good games. Had the story and well written villains. You also had no reason to loathe your faction. Your character wasn't saying cano every time they spoke and you worried less about ammo type (or rather just used AP all the time) and you could have fun with a friend and making maps. Six feels tone deaf, like they couldn't decide how they wanted to play it, and they push the store way more than 5 did. They shoved the cab lady missions and the bandito mission board in place of the arcade, and that's vastly more limited. Yeah, just now. Not that New Dawn wasn't a pointless stand alone, but it was part of what felt like a good end to the series, and what makes 6 feel all the more wrong.

[@KoboldCloaca]

I really loved those cool videos Zach uploaded on his main channel of him beheading this game's writers

[@TheDeviIDogg]

The thumbnail and title is the best thing I've ever seen in regards to the new "Saints Row", as they claim it to be. Saints Row is my favorite and I kinda feel like they just slapped me in the balls with a spiked bat by calling this Saints Row

[@Kcets]

The saddest part about the Saint's Row reboot is that even though it's a colossal failure and everyone hates it, game developers will learn NOTHING from it. They'll continue to push agendas and offer up subpar... everything else.

[@DatcleanMochaJo]

People who think they are in the right will continue as they are with no hint of introspection

[@CameronAB122]

Well they got shutdown

[@Hank..]

this game makes me wanna open up a predatory payday loans company

[@001assassins]

You "let's players" had one chance to craft the goddess Motifa, and you blew it.

[@kenwynnelson6340]

this is Shapiffany

[@maximus4765]

Motifa is too perfect for this game

[@tommykarrick9130]

Motifa shouldn’t be in this abomination

[@eddiemudie952]

A rare comment channeling Jeff perfectly.

[@TheRetroShepherd]

Nah they need to save Motifa for if they play Saints Row IV since you get literal flying superpowers in that one

[@NothingHereForYou]

I took a screenwriting class in college and yes some of the writing sounded straight out of this

[@nelsondisalvatore9812]

17:36 the silence. The dead dead silence says it all.

[@DagothDaddy]

I lived in one of the Central California cities like Fresno,Modesto,and Clovis and I will bet money this was written by somone from there who thought they knew what being a gangster was like because they sold Bic lighters and gas station knives to 9th graders.

[@lieutenantlobster_gorbman]

Oddly specific, but yeah seems acurate

[@billiem2372]

Shoot, I was born in Westside Modesto. The high school I spent a year at would always lock down a few times a month because the cops were raiding someone nearby. There's nothing fun about living in the ghetto. It'll leave you with a heart full of aches and a book of stories. These bay area goobers behind the game wouldn't last a day.

[@thegreenestofmachines]

I love how Zach isn’t pulling any punches.

[@exiledPostman]

I miss the simple days of spraying thousands of gallons of raw sewage at expensive neighborhoods to bring down the property values for a corrupt investor who wanted to buy the property.

[@milliondollarmistake]

It even sends the same message this game is trying to talk about too but through a more engaging way. Would you rather see the levels of evil people will go through to get even a bit more money? Or a bunch of unlikable and zany millennials pretending to be righteous while complaining about rent?

[@mydad8464]

“Stop the dopamine abuse” “Now let’s go do druugzzaa”

[@petrifiedtoaster8572]

And now Volition is dead.