"Why do I miss my depression?" | AKA p.123

[@askkatianything]

If you find my podcast helpful, please consider sharing it with others... you never know who might want to explore mental health along with us :)

[@nikkimckay860]

AKA& OTDM podcast.i always find your AKA podcast helpful and it's always needed I always share it❤️

[@askkatianything]

Thanks Nikki!

[@nikkimckay860]

@@askkatianything you are very welcome Kati ❤️

[@anniekate76]

Timestamps! 1:07 1. Does anyone else feel more comfortable talking about their mental health struggles in their non-native language? I’m relatively comfortable talking about my struggles with anxiety in English. However, in my native language (German) I’m so uncomfortable, I often shut down and just don’t... 10:04 2. Can you please talk about how to treat anxiety when you are prone to making everything worse due to your anxiety? E.g. when you are worried about performing badly, but then your anxiety makes you so dizzy that you perform badly. Or when you are worried about not getting a point... 23:53 3. Why do I miss my depressive and/or suicidal thoughts when I don't feel them for a bit? When I do feel these feelings, all I want is for them to pass, but when they do actually pass, I feel nostalgic and want them to come back.... I honestly don't understand why I could want to feel that way. 31:00 4. What can we do when we have trauma symptoms but the living situation we are in doesn't actually feel safe and escaping it seems pretty much impossible? Among poverty, being part of a minority, and having health issues, life just doesn't feel safe. I constantly worry that I might need money for... 43:55 5. I was wondering why isn’t there more info specifically on sibling sexual abuse. The little I find they even say that the info available is limited because it is such a taboo topic but yet more common than many know. I was abused by my older brother, we are only a few years apart, but it went on... 1:01:48 6. My question is about the whys of self harm I suppose. I remember coming across self harm (in a book and then in an older school girls scars) and I can still feel the click into place that happened for me. It would be years before I ever used self harm. But what made it attractive before it was... 1:13:29 7. Could you talk more about healthy boundaries? I’ve always struggled with establishing them and I’m working on it now. However, I feel like my new boundaries are too strict and I am now living by some set of rules that controls my life instead of me controlling the boundaries. I’ve heard that... 1:23:54 8. How can I let go of my perfectionist attitude and still feel like who I am and what I do is enough? In today’s world this is even harder as there are so many opportunities for comparisons and expectations seem to just increase. I find myself constantly measuring myself against something...

[@rr_1279]

THANK YOUUU SMM

[@nikkimckay860]

Anniekate76. good with the timestamps as always 😊

[@natascha_mephisto]

This language thing is so real!!!! I love that other people have this too! The words in other languages don’t have this emotional attachment to it. This is the case with “I love you” or swear words as well!

[@nikkimckay860]

Natasha jaromir.hello how have you been doing how is everything?🙂

[@JustLIkerapunzel]

I absolutely ahree and I really think while Englidh doesn't have a huge variety of words in many areas and oversimplified things that wax sometimes, it also had more words relating to emotions than many other languages. I'm also a mative german speaker and I always struggle to express my feelings properly in German for the lack of fitting term. So glad my BF understands English so sometimes I just add an English word lol. Like anxiety, seperation anxiety, boundary issues, attachment issues, gaslighting, emotionally unavailable Most media I consume is in English as there are simply more resources so it's logical that many people feel more comfortable in that language. I even feel more co fident overall when I speak English exactly because I know how to express myself

[@Jalentheuntold]

I always get sad when my questions don’t get picked but these are some good questions

[@kylapollard9275]

Hey Kati, thank you for answering my add on about the emotional and mental abuse. I’m sorry I didn’t explain what FND is, it’s Functional Neurological Disorder or also known as Conversion Disorder. These symptoms changes in every way especially when triggered. I have been doing DBT and currently going through radical acceptance. I just feel so stuck and goal posts keep changing. Things keep getting worse and I can’t get out. It seems like anything I do to try and help myself isn’t overly effective unless I’m in the ‘honey moon’ stage of the abuse cycle. I hope this makes sense.

[@daisy-daisy768]

It is very interesting how people process in different languages. I am an Australian in a German speaking country and although I speak fluent German, after feeling misunderstood by several therapists I thought I needed to find an English speaking therapist. This started off quite well but as we went deeper I kept dissociating in session. I generally struggle to put things into words and speak to people and I usually don't figure out what to say until like 3am after our sessions. So after changing therapists yet again I have now found the perfect mix for me. We speak German in session and when things come up for me afterwards I write to her in English and then we talk about it in German in our next session.

[@LeaEschi]

I just talked about this with my therapist last session.. crazy 😅 Some things are just better described in English because the words feel more fitting. Also that it might have been tabu to talk about some topics in the past and the different language is like a back door to being able to talk about things. We agreed on bilingual sessions.. feels very wired but might work ☺️🌈

[@taddreams]

Thanks so much for adding timestamps!! This helps so much to find the information I'm most interested in and avoiding topics that I'm not in the right mindset to hear/may find triggering. You rock!

[@lizweeks1144]

Thank you so much for putting the time stamps in the description it helped a lot Excellent!

[@joannatarbit391]

Thank you so much Kati for answering my question about perfectionism. I had not really associated it with my anxiety but now you mention it, the relationship is obvious. Thank you for giving such spot-on, super-helpful advice. 😁🤗💜🌟

[@kerrylarmand6301]

I've shared your videos with so many people!!! For the wide array of topics you cover, there is always, someone, somewhere that could benefit from this platform!!!! Thanks Katie!!!!

[@Katimorton]

Thanks Kerry :) I really appreciate that :)

[@Kay-ce1ls]

oh wow I'm so glad you've picked the first question! I'm german as well and I feel exactly the same! thank you Kati!

[@inloveever616]

I am from Switzerland and do therapy in swiss german but I use English words where it makes sense. I also say "anxiety" and rest of the sentence is in swiss erman. This works fine for me since my therapist also speaks English.

[@ahmed2527]

Thank you Kati for everything.❤️ Take care and stay safe.

[@GiraffesEatStuff]

Oh personally I used to hurt myself for hours if I thought of personal issues in my irl use/native language (or near any other person, even just thinking). Just to make sure I wouldn’t remember or talk about anything personal during activities or ever at all near any human. That’s mostly why I feel more myself in English despite not having spoken in over a decade tbh

[@nikkimckay860]

AKA& OTDM podcast.hello Kati good afternoon from Nikki from uk so glad another new AKA is here and there s couple of questions in the list I can definitely understand and relate too I'm really going though very bad depressed episode s due to being stuck at home every day sence my operation on my feet just trying to do things at home and trying to get though everyday my healing and recovery has been so slow and my treatment has been cancelled and delayed so my depression has been bad I'm finding comfort in your Podcast ❤️💜

[@Viemsi]

I am german. And we have a word for anxiety and it translates to "Angst". And we also have a word for comfortable, and it translates to "komfortabel". I think the German language is a very detailed language. So I don't think that the German language lacks words, quite the opposite. What I think the problem might be is that basically German is a very, and I mean it literally, "hard" language and therefore brings with it a certain coldness. (So I don't mean hard like "difficult", I mean hard like "wood" for example. I hope y'all understand what I mean.) For example, it is as if the English language is like a teddy bear that cuddles and warms you. On the other hand, the German language is like wood that is scratchy and cold.

[@toni2309]

Well, Angst also translates to fear, and fear is not exactly the same as anxiety. I've found it hard to talk about anxiety as opposed to fear in German, and often end up using anxiety as the English word instead, because it's just not exactly the same.

[@Viemsi]

@@toni2309 No, not according to the literature of the German language. It's just a misunderstanding of the German language.

[@toni2309]

@@Viemsi First of all, language changes, so even if it used to mean something different, and there were misunderstandings, how it is used today is what meaning it is today. Second of all, how would you then differentiate between fear and anxiety in German?

[@Viemsi]

@@toni2309 First of all, the language changes. - Yes, it is most likely that literature always changes somewhat over time. But how it is used today is what meaning it is today. - Not true. And that's why it's not true: It's as if everyone says yellow, but when they say yellow, they actually mean green. But green is not yellow and yellow is not green. So that's why it's not true. The language itself is not the problem. The fundamental problem is people using language disrespectfully for its true meaning. So unfortunately also some Germans. Not surprisingly, all this leads to misunderstandings. I am only defending language here, because language is not to blame for being misused by others. And my answer to your question: Fear translates to Furcht! Anxiety translates to Angst! Angst does not mean fear! And Furcht does not mean Anxiety!

[@toni2309]

​@@Viemsi Language changes a lot, and is a natural process. Maybe you have noticed that older people use "Schl**pe" as a way of saying that someone is untidy, but it's a slur nowadays. Silly used to mean blessed, it comes from the same word as "selig". Over several changes with it meaning I think something like humble, then deserving protection, and then being innocent, it turned to the meaning it has nowadays. Hamburger is actually called like that because it comes from Hamburg, but because people forgot where it comes from, and thinking it was a burger out of ham, and that's how fishburgers came to be when it was originally "Hamburger's dish". Same with "lone" or "lonely" being a misunderstanding of the word "alone" which sounded like "a lone". It seems to me like misunderstandings are just a natural part of the evolution of language. Even more interestingly, languages like French, Spanish, Portuguese and Italian have evolved from Latin. This means that language had to change considerably over time. What is the true meaning of a language? Is it how it is today, or a thousand years ago? Is it latin, or germanic?

[@theventingcorner]

47:12 This is what I'm struggling with the most. I don't understand how or why someone would do horrific things

[@DrPatrickKingsep]

Hi, it is important to share your podcast far and wide to help as many people as possible. The anxiety hierarchy really does work if done slowly - Im interested if people have tried this - and it may be important to have guidance with a therapist in doing a hierarchy...

[@charliemullin5463]

I have a lot of different traumatic experiences spread out throughout my life, which are completely unrelated, and I have flashbacks with sib to on a daily basis. My question is, what happens if a client was to have a flashback in session? Especially if they then started displaying sib? This is one of my biggest worries in sessions and I feel holds me back. Thank you for everything you do, your videos have helped me so so much over the years

[@jksgallery4729]

in my case thinking and talking about my mental health in english makes me understand my feelings and behaviot more by putting a distance makes me more rational than emotional i think. There are some words that i can't say in my native language because of emotional charge on those words.

[@rosalindarevell9868]

I have social anxiety also in church I step outside to get a breath of fresh air. P.s. I am schizoaffective diagnosed for about 35 years

[@dawncraig3340]

Does anyone else struggle with perfection without comparing yourself to others? Even looking at being better than yesterday me drives me to the perfectionist mindset sometimes. It's really sneaky though, it doesn't show up in ways I'd expect like in my house being perfect or what I'm wearing etc. It's really frustrating.

[@johnbillings5260]

My feeling of hyper vigilance related to trauma is like that of a mongoose attacking a snake.

[@robertdeanwillea5087]

Hi Kati Long time listener Love your stuff I'm a veteran of Desert storm and I see a therapist 4 time's a year, I'm doing pretty good but I have one problem. Our therapist rotate because of the VA administration, I've been going through the VA since 2007 sometime I see the same one for 2 year's sometime every time I go it's a new therapist. I get tired of repeating myself sometimes I forget some facts, I'm 62 this year I have had head Trauma and my age I can't remember my 20s and 30s. I was diagnosed with Bipolar in my 30s it seems that some of them don't understand or are sympathetic to me not remembering. Do you have any suggestions Thank you Bob

[@jrr2045]

Sorry if this is nitpicky but I'm neurodivergent so I don't know. There's a problems with the Sound. The mic is picking up your voice from the headphones possibly? I hear it in my left earphone.

[@christina-tinarose5660]

I also wear the bracelet I got from your site daily.

[@christina-tinarose5660]

I don’t know what number but the issues with boundaries 🙇🏼‍♀️ what if it’s your ex and they don’t take no for an answer. It’s so frustrating

[@sethsims7414]

The sound on this one is a bit strange. The left channel is slightly out of sync with the right.

[@laraannabell9879]

hi, i have thoughts on the language topic as well my complex trauma was caused in an exchange program in the US. my therapy is here back in Germany and I just feel so detached from what happened. sometimes i am convinced I would suffer from ptsd if I were still there. but here i don’t have the triggers. here i don’t even have the language. i still developed many mental illnesses from this trauma, however not ptsd. i just don’t get it. i feel like i won’t ever understand what happened back then and especially through the german language. what do i do if my trauma is perfectly cut off from the rest of my life and everyone expects me to move on? it’s been four years and I was in constant crisis during most of it. after many hours of work i am the most stable i have been in years. but now sometimes i still doubt anything even happened at all. does the language and environment really have that kind of effect from trauma? people during war often get back and struggle for many years. i got back and it’s like another life i once lived. will this haunt me unconditionally forever just because it happened 5000 miles away? i am so lost.

[@MaureenvanDam]

The funny B is 'ss'