Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Perry ON: Healing From Childhood Trauma & Becoming Self Aware, Confident Adults

Oprah and Dr. Perry join Jay Shetty in the first ever virtual book tour for the recently released book they co-authored, What Happened to You? The discussion centers around redefining childhood trauma, how experiences at a young age mold our adult life, and finding rhythm and balance to start healing yourself.
Oprah Winfrey, famously known as Oprah, is an author, talk show host, and philanthropist. Dubbed as the Queen of All Media, she’s North America's first black multi-billionaire. Dr. Bruce Perry is an American psychiatrist, currently the senior fellow of the Child Trauma Academy in Houston, Texas.
What We Discuss with Oprah and Dr. Perry:
00:00 Intro
02:24 Meeting Dr. Bruce Perry and the journey towards understanding “What Happened to You”
05:57 Commonly misunderstood concept about trauma
09:06 Going beyond success to heal your trauma
11:05 The younger the children, the more influence you have on who they become
12:24 Oprah on Fast Five
19:05 Switch from “What is wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
24:13 Life-long study on child trauma and how it started
27:52 The connection between childhood experience and adulthood
32:53 What should parents do differently to express love to their children?
41:27 Finding the time to create a rhythm and balance
46:24 Misconceptions about the stress response system that leads to trauma
50:14 Neglect is as toxic as trauma
53:26 Reaching an understanding so can process your pain and anger
01:06:39 The difference between coping and healing
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[@mehrnazkaviani]

"NEGLECT IS AS TOXIC AS TRAUMA" THE greatest sentence for me

[@gracegraziano3414]

I think what she meant to say is "Neglect IS trauma"

[@roseriverapadilla2112]

Yes it touched me to

[@simba9649]

And i suffered

[@Darima2]

Childhood Emotional Neglect is an actual thing , there's been books written about it

[@lb1798]

W😳W

[@nurture_urnature]

'' The thing I didn't get in growing up, is what I most wanted to give as a adult" Beautiful...

[@janewright2800]

I love that! And I hope I have done that to the best of my ability 🙏💚🌞💞

[@rachelvasquez252]

Someone back in the 90’s said “Whatever you needed/wanted as a child and didn’t get, give it to your kids and you won’t go wrong.” I knew I would be a great mom but I was still worried. This statement was like my daily mantra. Of course I made mistakes but I raised 3 great kids and there IS love.

[@TammyTreasure]

I feel this so much!

[@sahrarosaa1853]

Kok

[@sahrarosaa1853]

O

[@Dizzy1989]

44 dislikes. I have no words. I am becoming a father in November and my wife and I can't wait. I hope to be the best father and husband I can be. Thank you!

[@gretchentrefz3903]

Congratulations! I am sure you will be a wonderful father now that you know this information! I wish I'd have had this knowledge 30 years ago when my son was little

[@karenflowers9711]

So exciting to know what we know now as younger more conscious folks become parents. Get ready for some powerful humans in the future. 2 of my favorite books : "Your self-confident baby" by Magda Gerber. Also, babies borrow the mom's nervous system , and Dad, until they can create their own so a well-regulated NS is key. exited for you

[@rudravaidya1581]

Congratulations 😄 yes, you will 👍🏻

[@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD]

@@karenflowers9711 One y’all bones wait in the car or or you guys pick up number seven listen for number seven I’m waiting in the car go wanna be in it because I’m not leaving my place on attended the

[@miryreina925]

And the fact that u r here SPEAKS VOLUMES as to the type of husband and father you will be 👏👏👏🙌❤.

[@Bri-lg1zj]

“People behave based on how they were loved.” - Oprah W.💕

[@dingpontsawa]

M me l

[@Beth-iv4lj]

Seen "one flew over the coocoos nest?" Maybe you were misinformed and those girls missed their community, cousins and family What people tell the government isn't always accurate under oppression The whipped and unhealed went into caring professional jobs telling whatever kept them there.

[@grannyronna]

I love this quote. Oprah's wisdom is phenomenal.

[@rosariomira6088]

❤

[@mulalo9564]

Oprah is so passionate about her school in South Africa. As South Africans we thank her.

[@jenifercope4003]

She traffics the girls at her school and there are all kinds of scandals surrounding pregnancies. Oprah is a satanist. Wake up! She recruited women for Harvey Weinstein.

[@owamizuma7565]

😦

[@fj.sanabria9869]

@@jenifercope4003 you need to learn how to cope.

[@jenifercope4003]

@@fj.sanabria9869 remember John of God, Oprah's' buddy and fellow human trafficker. Yes, his own daughter turned him in. Do some research. The truth about Oprah is difficult she has been such a good actor.

[@fj.sanabria9869]

@@jenifercope4003 Oprah teaches very good coping skills you should watch on you tube

[@katiriabarbara5923]

✨”Stop giving people labels and start giving solutions.” ✨Beautiful concept.

[@tia.k.c]

"what happened to you?" this question is such a great reminder in cultivating compassion for myself and others.

[@goertzpsychiatry9340]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/npbEmZKEmNaqptU

[@SentiCooks]

"Your legacy is every life you touched." -OW

[@angisoledad]

Maya Angelou said to her ;-)

[@keepcreationprocess]

No it is Maya, not Oprah dummy

[@SentiCooks]

@@keepcreationprocess acknowledge you have inner issues before you start calling people names for no reason. Your being part of the problem in this world.

[@mardstone1476]

@@angisoledad ¹

[@mardstone1476]

1

[@crystaltharrell]

I watched my father die from cancer when I was young and the experience became more traumatic as I got older and started to realize that my attachment to the trauma I experience was influencing my walk through life. I am now a bestselling author and Yale PhD student because I understand the impact of Post Traumatic Wisdom ✨ Trauma can offer clarity if you know where to look.

[@bicesterventuresnigltd3402]

Whao! Good for you, congratulations. ✌

[@janewright2800]

@Lesley T wow that's amazing Lesley X big respect to you 🙏💚🌈💞

[@janewright2800]

Well done!!! Great wisdom🙏💚🌈💞

[@guiliajuliet4629]

I will recommend you to Chief Divinity to solve your problems immediately. Message him and testify 🥰💯

[@guiliajuliet4629]

+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 3 8 3 6 9 3 7.

[@AhmetKaan]

*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."* The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤

[@indiraamidzic324]

Da li bi ti da se ogrebeš za za pratioce od drugi-PA KREIRAJ TI NEŠTO .ŽAO MI JE DA DECA TROŠE VREME NA ...IDI ČITAJ NEŠTO DUŽI SE

[@dsii4013]

@ahmet thank you 💞

[@roseriverapadilla2112]

Well said! Thank u

[@AhmetKaan]

@@roseriverapadilla2112 🙏🙏🙏

[@llcms.empressqueenlady-asp5928]

We see you nice comment

[@fatumaali6403]

Am from Africa, It’s unfortunate that so many of us have been brought up in unstable homes where beatings were common. The main challenge is breaking the cycle to being better parents. It’s so difficult 😞. I can confirm that you have opened my eyes, you have helped me realized that I need help 😥. Thank you so much. I want to be a better mum 😥

[@melindadunbar5398]

You are breaking generational curses!!! What you're doing is SOOOO important

[@janewright2800]

You are a better mum by just being aware of the cycle that needs breaking 🙏all the very best to you💚🌈🌞

[@Bibian1973]

I hear you! Been writing my life story about growing up in Zambia and my life now in the UK! It’s been very hard to articulate some of my childhood experiences! I’ve had to ask myself if I’m actually imagining things. The worst thing is our people in Africa don’t believe in Trauma talk they think you are crazy! I’m breaking the cycle for my children’s sake. ❤️💗

[@goodlife8044]

@@Bibian1973 not just in Africa, same mindset with my family here in the United States.

[@Bibian1973]

@@goodlife8044 sad reality makes it hard to advance in life!

[@melaninqueenfit]

I don't know how Jay held it together this entire episode. I have rewound, yelled at the screen, clapped, and cheered at the many, many gems discussed here! This was so needed!!

[@guiliajuliet4629]

I will recommend you to Chief Divinity to solve your problems immediately. Message him and testify 💯

[@guiliajuliet4629]

+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 3 8 3 6 9 3 7..

[@maryamtarek1024]

i agree !!!

[@misssayed9211]

Omg same

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

"Turn your wounds into wisdom."

[@mmirkovich]

Yes

[@af547]

❤️

[@akiinefaexperiencinglife]

💯

[@TronandFlynn82]

I love that quote! So very, very poignant and powerful.

[@sonyniyo8327]

Yes

[@MihaelaClaudiaPuscas]

Oprah inspires even the stones at the edge of the road! She is beyond a legend! 😍💕

[@CorinneThians]

love this podcast too! 💖

[@MihaelaClaudiaPuscas]

@@CorinneThians awesome stuff in here all the time!

[@lisanovin4107]

Living legendary 💝

[@sagarasuranga9272]

@@MihaelaClaudiaPuscas high five 🙌 to you

[@lilithlight3570]

Girl I can't stop laughing 😂💙

[@kevincarvalho5054]

I was beaten by my mother as a child and there was a great deal of psychological abuse as well. It gives me great relief to listen to this because I know how much that has cost me. To this day I do not have a healthy relationship with my mother and I feel like I never will. The pain, the hole that I feel in my heart limits me everyday in the way I interact with other people. I need to get this book. I need to heal.

[@jb-ld7lu]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@flower5396]

Same here. It's a long journey but we'll get there.

[@LS-uv5jf]

🙏

[@junehanna4293]

I’m sorry his happened to you ,I hope his book helps you ,you are valued

[@hannahackerman5017]

Ohhh Darling. Dont let her wrong hold you back open up your self and recive amd recive .fear is just a word it all ends with us I want only love love and peace ends with u.lots of love from me .🥰❤

[@marlahernandez9267]

As a child, I witnessed my mom being thrown from a moving car and beaten so bad she was in a coma for 3 months. I also, suffered from physical abuse by my father. This podcast hit hard, as all the memories came back up. I'd like to think I have Post Traumatic Wisdom (love that term!) though. Thank you for the lovely conversation.

[@srilakshmibalakrishnan3583]

Omg, that’s very painful…hope you have healed

[@goertzpsychiatry9340]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/npbEmZKEmNaqptU

[@Jon-ly6xe]

Feeling guilty just clicking the like button

[@wambuialice957]

Oh dear, I pray that you find peace and that you heal. I also witnessed my mom continually beaten and being thrown out to sleep outside even in the rain. OMG

[@gabyhers]

Ppl

[@jefrokatai5418]

Your podcast has gone 10x this year; from Will Smith, Big Sean to Oprah. Wishing y'all all the best with the content. #JesusIs👑

[@valshiro515]

Clearly, those people don't care for the fact that he shamelessly steals other people's content. Nicole Arbour exposed him but he didn't even apologize for fooling millions of people!!!

[@melroseellis6362]

🙌🙌🙌🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@RonaStaMaria]

Listening to this felt like I had 6 months worth of therapy. Thanks Jay, Oprah and Dr. Bruce for this healing episode.

[@LanaAnneMD]

My family has always thought me weird for always looking for clues into a person's past; especially so-called " difficult" people, to understand them; all judgement melts away as well as any anger. It is so liberating and people who feel understood, react with much less fear and anger. It frees us all! Looking forward to reading!

[@Sm00cheZz13]

I totally agree with this. I find myself being in between some interesting spaces: being so open and loving like mom, being skeptical and observant like dad, but finding the happy medium within myself to be able to meet people fully where they are. I've met some interesting individuals who just want to be heard and understood, and it has been liberating and a drain in my life. It's important to understand how to use this gift in a healthy way. Still learning and forever growing

[@sonyaberkenpas5071]

“….the girls aren’t just dancing. They’re healing themselves.” This gives me hope to heal in ways I love! Thank you! ♥️

[@Puglifemama101]

I felt rejected everywhere except with animals. Must be why I love dogs sooo much. I got love from my dog and I held onto it

[@owamizuma7565]

😭I can totally relate to that.Love is on another level when it comes to animals.😢

[@michellesibille8281]

The same for me.

[@chantellerandall5985]

This hit home on so many levels. I definitely have to change my interactions with my kids.

[@guiliajuliet4629]

I will recommend you to Chief Divinity to solve your problems immediately. Message him and testify 🥰

[@guiliajuliet4629]

+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 3 8 3 6 9 3 7..

[@jillsalkin7389]

So glad you got this.

[@robinporterfield9930]

I am at a point in my life where I am having serious growing pain. I have hit this barrier, and I just can't break through. I also am having major aha! moments. I wake up every morning, I write my gratitude list, spend 2 hrs reading or listening to motivational, inspirational, anything that speaks to my humanity, and will help me become the best version of myself I can be...even Oprah. ( Such an insperation!) Was sitting here 3:30 am, just trying desperately to not give up trying to continue this journey. And I youtube on and Oprah said something that caught my attention. I started crying. So hard at times, i couldn't breath. This took me back to so much pain. I'm am left really devastated and lost. Have I not grown any, in years of working on me? I am so stuck now...

[@SusanJohnsonsuzvj]

Maybe that was an aha moment. We do need to confront the pain we feel or experience. We'll grow tougher and wiser from it I'm sure.

[@parulsanjiv7734]

OPRAH?! This man reallly made it!!! So amazing ♥️✨

[@senaitgg614]

Oprah is a legend... the way she described about her trauma was priceless... it resonates with so many of us... she makes me hopeful... love her.

[@nomsantsoane3984]

Everytime I'm having a bad day I watch her videos

[@senaitgg614]

@@nomsantsoane3984 me too🙂

[@goertzpsychiatry9340]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/npbEmZKEmNaqptU

[@aproxamillionwasps474]

The Oprah show was a HUGE part of my childhood. As an adult, a lot of the media I consume demonizes Oprah… but her book with dr Perry had me in tears more than a few time. I can be a liberal, tree hugging hippy and still love the things that Oprah has given me.

[@noamay]

So relatable. I can't change my past with my (unconsciously) emotional abusive parents, but I can give myself now what I need and give to others ✨🙏🏼😍🌄

[@TheVillageFairy]

There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking ✨

[@verystylishordinarypeople]

There are other barriers like infrastructure, money, health, and immigration. It's not all mental.

[@MihaelaClaudiaPuscas]

Unfortunately lots of us relate with the idea of ''childhood trauma'' me included! 😌

[@4estdweller4ever]

Every child needs eyes on them that reflect that they are cherished and loved.

[@kyracl7318]

Jay is such a great interviewer! He thinks deeply about what questions he asks. Loved this episode!

[@ip2489]

We're so fortunate to have easy access to listen to such great speakers. Well done kids. Now I need to continue my hustles so I can become one of your squad and get a fixed bookshelf in another home.

[@guiliajuliet4629]

I will recommend you to Chief Divinity to solve your problems immediately. Message him and testify..💯

[@guiliajuliet4629]

+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 3 8 3 6 9 3 7..

[@teenadahiya04]

Being a normal brown kid , we have faced all the traumas that oprah mentioned . We are the daughters of woman who suffer anger issues and sons of fathers who think lashing out and hitting in anger is justified and doesn't make them any less of a man. But i guess the most important part is that , all the people over here shows that we are gonna be a better generation , if that isn't evolution I don't know what is .

[@elizabethcohen674]

Jews from Europe have also generational anger and trauma. Their lives were filled with great trauma and the anger and frustration was passed down. When the government burns your village, kills the men and rape the women you could not go to the police to report the crimes. They were the ones doing the crime. I am sure people growing up in other horrific times, such as living under the beginning of communism have stories. I wish everyone healing, including myself. One’s pain does not negate another’s pain. It is real and I honor yours.

[@teenadahiya04]

@@elizabethcohen674 more power to all of them ❤️

[@flower5396]

Well put. 👍

[@ic2063]

@Teena, kudos to people like you who take the time to listen to these kinds of videos to heal. Yes, as brown people, we have lots to heal. 💕

[@teenadahiya04]

@@ic2063 thank you so much ❤️

[@anshuaneja]

Oprah mam is my idol from ages .Whenever I feel low I listen to her . Thanks for this one Mr Jay . 🙏🙏

[@nicolaverma3729]

Sometimes we go through abuse as thats what the abuser has gone through,and its the normal to them ,all they know. Oprah broke the chain of abuse ,which not many do ,i take my hat of to her. The day i knew what a narcissist meant was the day i forgave some one and understood it was not my fault, all that matters is that i walk with my head held high and with grace ,take my karma or experience with no grumbles as i know whatever i go through Spirit got my back and is always sprinting with me. You cannot control what others do ,but you can control your actions and learn from the abusers never to walk in their path. I take it all for God and i know he proud of me😁😇

[@kurtpodgorski7687]

Rariahhhhbbb

[@kurtpodgorski7687]

Rir

[@kurtpodgorski7687]

Ral si.

[@kurtpodgorski7687]

55

[@abdifataxmohamad6686]

Keep going Jay shetty really I support you

[@capricecraigmill9926]

Ditto

[@jeffdarlison9676]

I have attempted to meditate many times in my life and prior to this CD the only success I've experienced is with live guided meditation. kzbin.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq This is the first CD I've used that cuts through my unmedicated ADHD and enables me to truly relax and experience a quiet and energizing interval. The instructors voice is very soothing and pleasant to listen to. I am easily able to sit successfully through the entire CD, and for quite some time after. I cannot adequately express how tremendously helpful this CD has been on my spiritual journey!! Two thumbs up and 10 stars!

[@karlenewilliams8529]

Hearing Jay say "I'm coping wth it, I'm dealing wth it" is where I'm at but me healing frm childhood abuse is hard because I've not spoken about in fear of being seen as broken n unworthy.

[@barbaraj4708]

This discussion has made it clear why I try so hard to please others and experience such anxiety at the thought of disappointing anyone - not meeting their expectations.

[@lisawoodard5359]

The traumas I’ve exp left me thinking something was wrong with me, and couldn’t figure it out. Well it wasn’t what was wrong with me, it was what happened to me. I’m getting the answers, I’m getting healing.

[@Dorado2001]

This interview is the pinnacle of self development in the modern age 🙌🏽

[@yogithashetty2587]

Wow wow Oprah on the show ! That’s simply amazing

[@Psychologist-Shakthi]

Beautiful ....shift from " What was wrong with you " to " What happen to you ..? " Thx for sharing this

[@hoatuean]

As a teacher having young students, I found this extremely powerful and worth spreading. Thank you, Jay!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@shirleydianabirl3100]

How will we as teachers of the young use this invaluable information in our classroom? I have the freedom and autonomy to create a curriculum around this topic.

[@hoatuean]

@@shirleydianabirl3100 absolutely!!!

[@dimpiearora1255]

Oh my Oprah is telling my story, about whipping oneself when there is difference of opinion. I can resonate so much.🧡

[@aj-yi6os]

I’m almost a year late to this but I don’t think I’ve ever needed this book or conversation more than I do right this minute. Thanks to everyone. 🙏❤️

[@neetaarjun5019]

I grew up in a dysfunctional family where physical beating was a daily norm and when Oprah says that children feels humiliated when they are being abused, she is 100% right...every time the neighbours peeped through their curtains whilst i was getting beaten, I felt ashamed. Years later I was blessed by having 4 years of psychotherapy that saved me and turned me into a good person and a good mother. Thank you.

[@margarettiffin724]

I think Oprah is the most relatable person in the world

[@michaeld.williamsiii9026]

As someone who was abandoned, by my mom and placed into the foster care system, and ended up losing my father in my teens and having so much other losses. 💔There are so many holes, and at times deep sadness I feel. Some days like today it was just hard to get out of the bed and the floor is pulled from underneath me. #GriefHurts Some times I wonder why, and there are no answers to the questions and what’s all this for. However... I appreciate coming across this interview and podcast during this time.🥀😔🌧

[@tanyalemieux]

so many an "aha" moments for me. my 2 favs are about children being raised differently in the same home and learning to "accept" things

[@purvamandlik4696]

Golden child and scapegoat

[@rebeccaarthur534]

Sound like P William and P Harry. Yet ppl refuse to let him move on with his life. They don’t want him to grow up as a family man.

[@nemrak4385]

I grew up witnessing domestic abuse during my childhood and I was attacked by my older cousin at 10yo who tried to rape me but I fought back and got out of that room. PTSD nightmares and night terrors took over my mind and body EVERY NIGHT after that for the next 7 years. I couldn't sleep at nights, as soon as it got dark, my fears grew to terror level, crippling fear. I remember being totally exhausted and wanting to sleep soooo badly but I'd close my eyes for a few seconds then I would be shaken awake by fear! I learned to be hyper-vigilant and terrified of every male I came into contact with in my life. I had lived in constant fear for so long it began to infect every aspect of my life but this whole time God came to my rescue through every trauma and he has set me free from every trauma and brought healing into my life.

[@dmiles8406]

I can’t thank Oprah enough for validating the unwarranted beatings from my grandmother and biological parents. Most grateful for my English teachers... in my case it was usually my English teachers because that was my favorite subject. I also remember a few other influential teachers along the way. I sincerely appreciate someone shedding light on both subjects. Oprah’s my hero!

[@helloeveryone6679]

My ancestors are my heros because they endured the beatings and being whipped by slave masters and still lived. They took on the pathology of their oppressors and unfortunately we are still suffering from it today.

[@goertzpsychiatry9340]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/npbEmZKEmNaqptU

[@AhmetKaan]

*Most great accomplishments were achieved by the people, who at first had no idea what they were doing.* Keep going my friend. I am cheering for you. 🙂🖤

[@ayssharifullina674]

A dream came true, Jay? Happy for you! =) This is inspiring)))

[@joshwhittier8669]

So inspiring... Greetings from California

[@GoodVibesOnly_UPASANA]

If angel has a voice, it's yours - for Oprah Winfrey ❤

[@KarenCroneyHairIntelligence]

I remember 15 or so years ago, I was considering going back to work. shortly after I turned on the tv, to see Opera, with nannies saying" Your kids need you!" not their nannies when they cry. I stayed home with my kids because of it and was grateful I could. They have never been touched but my parent did spank me..

[@mld0527]

Thank you for touching on this subject.! As someone who grew up in the generation of "children should be seen and not heard" and "spare the rod and spoil the child", this type of discipline was very common. There are a few studies showing how these "stimulating events" can alter brain evelopment and body chemistry especially in young children impacting us well into adulthood, and in some cases lead to transgenerational trauma. C-PTSD best describes this form of trauma resulting from childhood adversity . There has been very little research until recent years on its effects. A few Doctors have already researched and written similar books. Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, Peter Levine and Dr. Jonice Webb just to name a few. Thank you to Dr. Perry; Jay Shetty and Oprah for bring more awareness to this societal problem!

[@nemrak4385]

I watched Oprah's super soul sessions on sundays and because of that show I began to read some of the books that she recommended. In 2016 the book, "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer awakened me from the worst valley of my life. I began my healing journey which is always a process and I have tried to heal and learn from all the hell of my childhood so that I can be a source of light in this world! It all started because of Oprah's super soul videos on youtube! THANK YOU OPRAH! YOU ARE LOVE AND LIGHT IN THIS WORLD!

[@nrlhqs7278]

Watched Oprah since i was 14yo, i m now 41yo.. fr Malaysia .. whenever i need to centre myself, i listen to Oprah

[@maryj.khalilian9018]

This resonates. For me it's been so used to being in conflict and in conflict resolution that being in quiet and at peace feels anxious. Need to get better 🙏🌹💯

[@joshwhittier8669]

This is so inspiring... Greetings from California

[@bernarddapena4434]

One of the best and enlightening conversations i've eavesdropped into. I'm so grateful to Jay, Oprah and dr Bruce. You dont know how u help a lot of people into their healing. Thank you.

[@Chethy1996]

Both my idols 😍 in my vision board ❤️❤️ who always inspires me to be the best version of my self 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@Sophia00077]

Jay Shetty & Oprah together.. best of all worlds..

[@tarayasminmel]

Oprah walks in a journey of self love that I respect and admire. I relate to her story of people pleasing being trained and traumatised like that at such a young age.

[@msdee2905]

My mom and dad divorced when I was about 5 years old which traumatized me as a child. As an adult I divorced my cheating emotionally abusive spouse after 14 years. I remarried and after 12 years find myself separated and possibly facing a second divorce. My second spouse is emotionally abusive and cheating too. This book sounds very helpful. The stress of this pandemic doesn’t make relationships any easier. Looking forward to getting this book for better understanding.

[@hoatuean]

“Fame isn’t what you think of yourself, it’s what everyone thinks of you” - wow!! So true and yet we never really thought about it that way!!! Brilliant, Oprah!!! “What fame teaches you quickly is to grow the wholeness within yourself so that you are not controlled by others’ opinions of you” - Oprah

[@shirleyflood1397]

Thank you Oprah Winfrey 🥰🌹🙏

[@frommetoyou3262]

this was so needed ! thank you so much, I appreciate this conversation so much. thank you to all of you

[@gabriellemorellisinger1608]

Great interview so happy that Oprah is really vested in informing and helping people with PTSD. I also grew up in constant fear of getting a beating and in my family a mix of Italian and Greek. I also was constantly told” children are to be seen and not heard”! I became the Golden Girl People Pleaser who married an abuser following the pattern I knew. I got divorced and tried so hard to break the pattern with my children. Unfortunately he is their Father and it could not be avoided, know matter how hard I tried. This is so on point and I know a lot about DV and being a single parent. It is impossible you just have to try your best. I’m very excited to purchase the book 📖 as I have Oprah’s 2 other books. From the first time I heard her favorite Maya quote, that was an Ah Ha moment for me! I never laid a hand on my Children as I knew how it felt and would never bestow it onto them by me. I could go on and on love this interview very validating for many people who have Trauma as a result of abuse!

[@ra62780]

This video came in divine timing. As mother of 2 girls...and coparenting...this is a message to slow down and take my relationship with the girls more intentionally ❤❤ thank u

[@MissOJAY]

And most importantly your relationship with yourself!

[@divyarajpal9648]

PROFOUND! Thank you, Jay for such powerful, impactful, vulnerable conversations. Love your work.

[@dr.khushboobhardwaj9503]

Lovd this podcast .thanks a lot Jay. Learn so much on this podcast .thanks for bringing it . 👏👏👏👍

[@keneechamays8057]

Super powerful Full of gems. I’ve always loved Oprah and science. I love how you can tell that this is truly a passion project money is frequency she’s not even worried about the money she’s showing gratitude for where she is not was she has and gives wisdom in a way we can comprehend. That makes me want to move differently even not being in her position. I have hope

[@1hunitGRAND]

I’m such a chronic people pleaser and I know that comes from growing up and wanting to fit in and for people to like me…, within the last 2 years I have tried to change that , but I struggle with the feeling of putting myself first as being selfish . This video made me realize that it is not and part of my healing, narcissistic sounding, but since doing this, I feel like the relationships in my life are more meaningful, and I can love others better than I could before. Thank you for this . ❤️

[@jenniferlaw2275]

I suffered all my life as a chronic pleaser and being abused, neglected and being always taken advantage of. I’m so glad I’m not alone ❤️. This year I finally learned to say no to people and it made my self-esteem come back.

[@SETfourLyfe]

Thank you soooo much for #this and the work you all continue to do 🙏🏽 may the CREATOR continue to protect and flow freely and lovingly through your vessels!

[@awkwardtpodcast9546]

I needed to hear this entire podcast Thank you

[@yvonnewanda]

Jay is such a good host, he asks deep and thought provoking questions to help his audience really benefit from the guests’ wisdom

[@annaunger3270]

This message is so important and, once understood, changes the way we treat each other! I also wanted to add that not only neglect can be traumatic for a child, but also the very opposite - overprotection and the resulting loss of autonomy....

[@evi__sha]

This one hit home. Getting the book and thank you ❤️

[@kiarah9129]

This is super healing for me ❤ thank you for sharing

[@kellylarsen1748]

This video kept showing up on my feed so I finally listened to it and now I understand why. I needed to hear some of the lessons to better understand the challenges I m currently facing through my own healing that I am going through

[@jdempowermentseries1446]

What happens to children impacts what happens in our world. Thank you for reminding us that children become the adults that we meet, the people who lead us as well as the people who love or hurt us.

[@verystylishordinarypeople]

Greatest Love of All. #WhitneyHoustonTheVOICE

[@bhhomegrown]

This was so POWERFUL! Wow...thank you for sharing. I will definitely be replaying this one! Thank you again!

[@laurayates4033]

LOVE this - wow. Super super insightful. Thank you all!

[@devashreek8174]

You are doing a great job with On Purpose, Jay! Thank you so so much! This is great.

[@nemrak4385]

GOD BLESS ALL THE GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD!!!!❤️🙏🏻

[@jessicalong6011]

Man, I resonant so strongly with what Oprah said about being a people pleaser and why! I have been abused in lots of ways all my life and God is so good to me to set me free from that. This is just so juicy and heavenly! Thank you all so very much for giving us this beautiful message and book. God bless you all ❤🙏🏾

[@sherl7435]

Beautiful wisdom in every segment of this show, thank you Jay!

[@emilynyakio8359]

Experiencing chaos and drama at 2months old can be detrimental! Now that got me. How educational and inspiring! Thank you so much y'all for this.

[@CelineAdobea]

suuch an important topic!! I am in the process of healing childhood traumas and writing about it as well 😄💖✨

[@lilithlight3570]

Thank you for the incredible podcast Jay 🙏🏻💙

[@ChilloutBraaiTV]

We needed this. Thank you Jay for hosting

[@learningthroughthoughts3922]

Even when it is hard to get through your past experience you have to start over from where you are in your mental state so it was amazing to listen to this incredible conversation and I am hoping that everyone would get inspired to read this book.

[@psycsoci]

This has been one of the most powerful conversations offering genuine help. I work with children,and I'm always baffled by the educated people acting in the capacity of a teacher in Title I public schools, who makes him or herself the priority, who never seem to find anything within themselves to ask a child who suddenly changed is something the matter; instead of only focusing on the newly unpleasing behavior! Love the Title! #LovedOprahWinfrey! LovedDrPerry! LovedYourQuestionsJay! Thank you all oh so, very, very, very for publicizing the realities that cause people without the proper coping skills to react and try to make other people responsible for why they chose to react to whatever... This was one of the absolute best hours or so of this year!

[@joshwhittier8669]

This is so inspiring... Greetings from California

[@christinesolilo5885]

Thank you for sharing guys. This really hit home and lots of pain ..I needed to hear this!

[@jaclynh9343]

So need to come back to this, such a powerful and significant conversation to have. Thank you.

[@maryannchi1311]

What an informative insight on PTSD and the importance of the 0-6 years psyche of the development of a child. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@clairebear1808]

30 years of Prozac and boom PTSD finally diagnosed after some really hard breakdowns now I am seeking to become whole again. I feel like a mental health poster girl 😓

[@Bojan_V]

You will become whole again. That is certain☺️.

[@verystylishordinarypeople]

Congratulations.

[@lorainejones2375]

What a blessing to start my day listening to your podcast!! My husband and I read your book twice. God Bless!

[@TheLexieWilson]

This is such a powerful conversation, thank you so much for having it and allowing us all to see!