Why AUTISM And Mainstream Workplaces Don't Mix - Improve The Workplace For Autistic People

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I explore why #autism and mainstream workplaces don't mix. Plus I share personal experiences of how being #ActuallyAutistic in mainstream workplaces has led to devastating outcomes. #orionkelly #autismfriendly
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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (KZbinr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.
#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD
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⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️
Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

[@ilovemybeard3394]

The worst part is a narcissist in the workplace can setup a scenario to manipulate and target the autistic person to be bullied by the tight nit group

[@juicyparsons]

i'm really stressed I think i;m seeing this now from 3 men that are bullying our youngest (possibly autistic) coworker. my brother's autistic so I recognize it and its really frustrating. thanks for posting

[@natalie-avalon8945]

I recently experienced that. My supervisor grabbed me by my sleeve and dragged me like a dog for a few seconds. He use to pick on me because of my autism. I finally left due to unfair treatment.

[@natalies3032]

I have experienced this. There is this little clique and if you are not part of it you become a target.

[@juicyparsons]

@@natalies3032 it sounds terrible. I walked in on our manager saying he hoped our youngest co-worker could just get 3 write-ups so he could get fired (he had no write-ups 🙄). Then the next day that same manager "forgot" to tell the floor staff that the kid called in sick to work the night before (causing the staff to be unfairly mad at him) I recognized it as instant sabotage and had a conversation with the higher ups about it. That manager is now gone but the kid with the communication differences quit first 😔 But if anything like that ever happens again at least I feel comfortable bringing it to the owners again 🤷🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@juicyparsons]

@@natalie-avalon8945 that is unacceptable to me they can't be putting hands on you! 😡

[@delilahhart4398]

I hate the "mandatory fun" shit that a lot of companies have. They're bullshit.

[@taryneast]

Me too. I get that others enjoy them, but for me the social events are just hard work. and missing out on them means you're missing out on the social bonding that helps gel teams together :( I keep thinking of it a bit like how once upon a time you needed to take up smoking in order to be in the "in" crowd at a workplace - to share the social-bonding that came with smoke breaks.

[@ErutaniaRose]

Yeah, plus it's just a way to distract you from the exploitation of a capitalist workplace. "You don't have any benefits or rights, but here's a coupon for a free drink and pizza!" F off corporate America.

[@samppakoivula9977]

The biggest problem to me at least is not the fun itself but too many people. I mean I enjoy company of people, just that too many people create too much stimulus at the same time to be handled...

[@umiluv]

I think most normal ppl hate them. You don’t have to be an autist to find them “meh.”

[@robinfox4440]

The last "mandatory fun" thing we did as a company I was painfully aware of being excluded, I basically left in tears.

[@robertpepper5256]

Nothing triggers me more than being blamed for something the neurotypical person is responsible for, but instead of being truthful, they manipulate the situation until I meltdown. At which point they blame me for that instead, as being WORSE than the initial situation they created.

[@bandyboo2805]

I completely hear you.

[@Kali_Yugahhhh]

💔😔 im so sorry for your: intense........ feelings. I feel 'ya too. 🫶

[@robinfox4440]

Neurotypicals are so well adjusted to daily manipulations, power plays, and bullshit that they don't even notice it and it's impossible to talk about. They hate it when we're direct and honest, too, and expect everything to come with this weird, passive-aggressive roundabout way of communication. My personal favorite is being called "defiant" for asking a question.

[@JuliaJames-zx5xy]

I find they auto verbally throw their own sins, sinful thoughts and sinful behaviors onto you, accuse you of doing exactly what they themselves are truly guilty of. They do this in a manipulative way that causes others to believe them and not you. Bad behaving chidren in adult age bodies :(

[@AvianaBasil]

@@JuliaJames-zx5xy damn I think you described my dad. I was so baffled by what I was accused of I kept asking why would I lie? Never got a real answer. Also would have known if I damaged anything in the rental unit, my asd brain has photographic memory and attention to the smallest of details. My mind is blown right now 🥺

[@notoriouswhitemoth]

Even ignoring the social cost, meltdowns are an _absolute nightmare_ to experience! People think we put ourselves through that _deliberately,_ blame _us_ for it? It's not a lack of awareness, it's not a lack of self-control, it's our brains going 'I can't take this any more! Get me the fuck out of here! Makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop!'

[@barbaramoran8690]

It hurts so bad

[@robinfox4440]

Last time I had a meltdown at work, I was hyper stressed from daily bullying and a boss I had to report to that couldn't make up her mind about what she wanted from me. I was later told that I had "thrown a tantrum." I quit 8 months into a 24 month contract. It was either that, or I wouldn't be here commenting today.

[@wmoros4902]

I just end up stagnant or sort of out of it when it happens usually, just thoughts in my head and heaps of stress. Its not until im alone or in a scenario where I wouldnt be socially judged where it hits the hardest, I could make it through a stressful day then be hit by a wall of fatigue, anger and lose all motivation for anything

[@Deeznutz503]

this. literally.

[@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193]

Oh heck yes. Meltdowns freaking suck. I wish I could make anyone who has an autistic person in their lives experience a meltdown at least once so they can see what it feels like. Trust me, NTs, no one likes having those stupid things.

[@oxwellstoer5318]

I HATE meetings or anything involving interacting in a group. I simply cannot describe how much. Hate doesn't even begin to describe it.

[@recoveringsoul755]

Recovering Soul I never knew what to do in meetings I was invited to, or what was expected of me on business trips, unless it was a training class. I just took notes.

[@unknowntosociety01]

Me too and hate how its directly related to moving up the ladder.

[@mainecoon6514]

I had terrible anxiety and dread whenever I was expected to participate in group settings.

[@bandyboo2805]

I agree. In fact if there is more than one other person present I cannot handle it. I find it ultra hard to listen to both, and to interject and so I tend to just let them get on with it.

[@Jacqueline_Thijsen]

Let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves 😨

[@BScraycraycatldy]

I learnt not to unmask, share my diagnosis or advocate for myself in the workplace, even 'inclusive' workplaces. They all say they support you, but once you can't do a task that relies heavily on executive function or have a meltdown you are seen as lazy, not a team player, uncooperative, impaired or crazy. Leaving my 'inclusive ' government job and hoping that somewhere out there i will find a workplace who 'gets it'. Really makes you feel like a useless human being.

[@waldosmyth8110]

I work in public administration as well and had the same experience. A lot of talk about "Equity, Inclusion, Diversity", but when it actually affects the workplace, all that "celebrating" is gone. I would already be happy about some basic, old-fashioned tolerance. Good luck with your new job. It helps to remember that we do have a lot of strengths :-)

[@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193]

Oh yeah. It seems like some people are accepting in theory, but when they get to see the challenges that come with autism they bail. That or they say we're using autism as an excuse. I'm sure there are people who do that, but I think that's gross and I wouldn't do that.

[@sylphienne]

It really angers me when people try to shut you up by saying “Oh everyone is a bit autistic or is a bit adhd”. No it doesn’t work like that, you can have similar traits to certain disorders but it doesn’t mean that you have a little bit of this or that. It’s like how my grandma told me that she hates the sight of me wearing glasses because of my vision loss, but she seemed to think that I didn’t need glasses because in her mind she thought that my vision loss was minor compared to hers and would rather see me without glasses because i would appear more “prettier”. Or that people who tell those with social anxiety to get over themselves and talk to people. Like majority of these types of people are selfish and seems to think that their worldview is correct so others must follow their logic or gtfo. When i was diagnosed with Autism two years back as a 22 year old. My mum wanted to “cure” me from this debilitating disorder. So she would find all the articles in relation to curing autism with eating the right foods and “there’s something in the gut that’s causing Autism to be worsened.” Little did she realise that my autism was caused by a gene duplication, two years later. So she’s given up on the “curing” but still belittles me and says to me “Now that you’re diagnosed with Autism you shouldn’t act worse then you already are”, Like what does that even mean?? I’ve been learning about autism and some stuff in relation to it like stimming, masking and others. I’ve put 2 & 2 together and I connected my impulsive behaviours with them and I’ve told my mum about it and she just ignores me and turns around and says that or similar in the above. Work and school is even worse, the second you walk in it’s like instantaneously they treat you different. I’ve heard from people i tried to befriend or even classmates who’ve directly ignored you when asking a question to them or even bullies. They’re like “You’re weird”, “Weirdo”, “Why are you so weird?” It’s like those with Autism have the ability to stand out as weirdos to neurotypicals, I don’t know it’s like an instinct or energy that we give off that some neurotypicals tend to dislike. Oh and don’t get me started about how teachers, bosses, lecturers, etc. Will baby you and treat you like you’re a child and see you as less intelligent then everyone else. Discrimination in workplaces is always going to be a thing. I’ve applied to many jobs and even applied to do volunteer work at local animal shelters. The minute you present yourself and say that you have autism, you would rarely get into a job or volunteer placement because of who you are. My mum tells me to lie, i hate lying to people about myself, i feel sick in my stomach and there’s this overwhelming sense of guilt that plagues me. Lying doesn’t make me feel good. I think that if you’re struggling to find work like a normal job. I think it’s best if you find a job that is suited to be at home or online. As an Autistic person who has many creative ideas due to my autism, i think I’m better bringing my ideas fourth and using them to start an e-commerce store. But I’m lucky that Australia gives out payment to those who’re jobless and looking for work and other countries don’t do that and that will help me set up my business.

[@ErutaniaRose]

I haven't been officially diagnosed yet, but I was formerly diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) and GAD (General Anxiety Disorder). The number of people who won't hire me or fire me once they found out is frankly terrifying. I live in the states, so my only option is to be completely dependent on my boomer parents...who regularly treat me like a child. This is on top of medical issues and trauma, so freaking fun. I wish I could just LIVE and that being allowed to exist wasn't so hard...

[@migs7220]

Yeah go creative. Make your own job. We rock at this. Try everything. It only takes a couple years to get another trade or skill under your belt. I believe in you. I don't have it figured out yet but I am having fun trying things.

[@chikindonkee]

Diet does affect the brain, and inflammation within it. Brain inflammation has been, recently, directly linked to Autism. Autistic individuals tend to suffer from increased brain inflammation compared to NT's - this is worsened by poor dieting. So - no, it does not "cure" anything, but it can help in day to day functionality! Personally, I was much better eating more foods that are anti-inflammatory and high in flavonoids (blueberries!). My brain felt better overall with becoming overwhelmed and having meltdowns less frequently. Hope this helps!

[@asirablood7576]

Been treated this way my entire life without ever having to say that I'm autistic. I've only begun to realize 3 years ago, at 35, that I'm autistic.

[@umiluv]

Your mom’s telling you to not use it as an excuse or crutch.

[@thecompletebasquiat6872]

I've been fired, or threatened with being fired, from every job I have ever had. I'm not saying I didn't deserve it, other than my "disability," but you will get NO SYMPATHY from most your co-workers/managers. I eventually became self-employed. Then a bought a small business for myself. It is the way to go for autistic people.

[@ErutaniaRose]

I'm hoping to do a similar thing--though it is nearly impossible to do so and make a living in the US due to all the rampant late-stage capitalism, and basically fascist parties trying to screw over everyone who isn't Scrooge McDuck level rich.

[@thecompletebasquiat6872]

@@ErutaniaRose Agreed, we live in the Age of Monopolies and Oligarchy, and there is very little social mobility anymore. Storefronts are boarded up everywhere due to lack of opportunity...its difficult to compete with monopolies...perhaps a "boutique" store? Seems "Only Fans" is the best option for those willing.

[@corsai7506]

Way to go!! 😊

[@lh2301]

True, I just started a small baking business and it’s working out great.

[@natalie-avalon8945]

One supervisor said “everyone has a bit of autism.” That insensitive comment really infuriated me. I’m so glad I left that job.

[@ecos889]

ADHD and when people go oh I got distracted for 5 seconds that's so ADHD of me. Like no Karen, it's not. Like literal days at a time when I lie down and do nothing because a million thoughts scream out in my head simultaneously, the ADHD simulator video I love a lot because it pretty much shows like what on earth goes on in my head at a given moment.

[@Zeithri]

While it is true that everyone _has a bit_ , the problem when people say that isn't insensitivity necessary but rather it's designed to muddled the water. It's straight up what people say in a way to try and claim that your problems aren't exactly problems and you are just being difficult or lazy. That's why they say that. I had an unemployment office worker once say that everyone has a bit of ADHD and what was hilarious is that, he clearly had ADHD or something. But yeah, I just wanted to chime in. If you meet someone who tries to explain it away, just tell them with a very calm friendly yet with a hint of decisiveness in the voice otherwise they may take it in a bad way, " _Look, I understand what you are saying but when you say it like that it'll end up causing problems for people who have genuine problems. People that perhaps get more incapacitated by life than I get because being told that everyone has a bit can really eff up someone's day or even life by indirectly telling them, Oh you're just lazy so that means you're worthless. Now I know you don't mean it like that but, I just want you to understand that._ " Sorry, I went overly helpful there! Guess it's just a helpful day today! ?_?

[@JaneRakali]

Workplaces can be awful for autistic people and life at home can be worse. Bullying by typical siblings can lead to trauma.

[@slimsonite2111]

The gaslighting! 😔

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes🎉

[@GothicBookLover]

I'm on the spectrum.. and I have always stood up for myself and pushed against managers and/or co workers. No one has the right to speak to me in a degrading manner and if they explode, I usually will say 'Don't ever speak to me in that way again'.. and more times then not.. they don't. And if they continue to speak to me in that way, then I plot out my escape plan (and usually escape by getting another job, or deciding to take a few months off to just relax and read while living on savings).

[@PurplePinkRed]

Yes! Fantastic observation!

[@sarahsovereign4522]

Add the physical environment of your typical office sitcom show: fluorescent lights, motion of the building in the wind, microwave lunch smells from the break room two floors down, and cubicle farms where you can hear everyone's speech and squeaky chairs all around, but only see your fuzzy colorless walls and feel every motion at your exposed back.... shudder! Someone rescue the neurotypicals from the horrors of their own making!

[@CreeperKiller420]

This was relatable and funny as well.

[@slimsonite2111]

The kitchen is 10 feet away from my desk and I'm vegan (and AuDHD). Lunch smells have literally sent me into crying fits, fetal position in a quiet conference room 😕

[@ViraIshnia]

Wait, angry outbursts are meltdowns? I didn't know that! I have such of fear of being called into the boss' office. It's always "what did I do NOW?!"

[@emilymorales5887]

Exactly my sons response to once again bring “called into the boss’s office.” We tell him “don’t be so dang conscientious.” I wish boss’s would treasure autistic people for the very loyal employees they could become.

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

I’m watching this after a meltdown at home after work due to intense masking all day. I’m going to ask to work from home as a reasonable adjustment. I don’t want my family to suffer me like this just so I can hold it together all day masking for people I don’t even care about!

[@shadowflame9838]

I was taught at a younger age how to be social and was taught the skills I needed. But that doesn't make it any easier. I've lost so many jobs because of this. These skills do help me connect and for a short time be a team player but it's so taxing and difficult I can't do it for long and have zero energy left

[@remote24]

These are the things! I think I'm autistic and talked to a few people about it "how can you be autistic, you look people in the eyes" Man! Yes I do, but I learned it and I have to actively force myself to do that to appear normal. After a day I'm just super exhausted and noone can understand why

[@jtszabo1691]

Some of the same people who told me I made people uncomfortable with my outbursts have yelled and screamed at me more than what I’ve done. I fucking hate going to work and capitalism with a fucking passion

[@kennethtomaszewski3795]

It must be destroyed

[@samppakoivula9977]

@@kennethtomaszewski3795 Yes, but how can you destory something that most people live in and want to live in? Trying to change something always needs more inner than outer work. To put it simply: Many of us wants change, butt how many of us wants TO change as much as it would require to real change to take place...? That goes both neurotypical or not. Personally I would like to be more normal and I can be as long as I can take my time which often is not possible XD

[@kennethtomaszewski3795]

@@samppakoivula9977 we could just share resources, or war

[@slimsonite2111]

So hypocritical 😔

[@MrAdriancooke]

Would you be better off in Cuba?

[@jesters.workshop]

I’m a 24 year old graphic design student. I started working at 16 and being employed has been the most stressful and horrendous experience as an autistic person especially as an undiagnosed autistic. When you find companies willing to hear you please let us know so we can actually start being hired by people who give a shit

[@Miss_Maddam]

i agree

[@CSIPiper]

This was my experience at your age. I put my head down and “powered through” until I completely and utterly melted down and lost a significant amount of my executive function at the age of 47. I wish I had made it a priority to find an appropriate workplace at a younger age rather than waiting until so many were financially dependent on me.

[@johnnydark4802]

Tried tele IT-tech support for a while..Try to sit still and be calm when some one´s screaming at you from the to of their lungs at the other end of the line..normal people have melt downs in this job...😵Me..maybe it´s different for the second time working this job..."sometimes"..my own stupidity just amazes me.

[@lisaweinmeyer5782]

I am trying to support my son, who is 26, and doesn't want to work a regular job. I worry about employers " mistreating" him. He has a comprehensive knowledge of history, music, literature, and more. It breaks my heart that he has to endure such struggles.

[@K.b.173-dog]

Me and my brother both struggle like this too. I work construction for half the year n save as much money as I can to not work for a while. It takes me a month or two to recover after working about 6 months and the whole duration that I work I can't see anyone on weekends or after work. Causes me a lot of stress and anxiety. I just can't cope with the workplace or commuting on the interstate in rush hour and constantly battle the urge to give up. It's really hard for me to be on time because I don't understand the concept of time. I get cussed out n made of fun of on the job and have lost many jobs for being autistic. The benefit of working construction though is I can wear ear muffs all day and it's socially acceptable because its ear protection. My brother drives for uber eatsx to be alone n make money. I worry about him on the road a lot though. I also have an English degree and went to graduate school but had to drop out during the pandemic. I'm very skilled and smart being autistic just isn't compatible to the way the world works. It's very hard and most of the time I just hate being this way.

[@sajuarosam3854]

@@K.b.173-dog I'm late to this party (37), and have had to spend the duration of my time learning how not to be myself. It's been an indescribable relief to learn that there are more people than just me who haven't been able to quite make the regular working world fit them. I know the struggles you're describing. You are definitely not alone.

[@K.b.173-dog]

@@sajuarosam3854 thank you Sajuaro. I'm 34 and life has been very hard being this way. I've never been diagnosed but it all makes sense. I have to grunt over n over n rock back n forth to calm down. I have no idea how to act around people n have just been doing my best to mimic social behaviors to get through interactions. As a child, I used to rip all my hair out, strand by strand, to calm down in school, church, from all the noise. I'd have massive bald spots. I'd bite my arms. Get picked on n beat up for being weird. As a teenager I traded ripping my hair out n biting for cigarettes. I still smoke today. I always thought this was how everyone was and I just couldn't get it together. Crazy man. All I know to do is keep masking n mimicking to get thru each day n then be by myself. Thanks for sharing that man. Thank you for letting me vent. I hope you're doing okay. .

[@JMoore-vo7ii]

@@K.b.173-dog and @Lisa Weinmeyer your stories tug at my heart, having tears as I write this. You put into words so beautifully what I feel everyday when I go to work and come home. Sitting there. Waiting for the light to turn green, wanting to not exist because I can't do things "properly". I was diagnosed early in life with ADD, but according to my sister that just falls on the spectrum. I have always been separate from others. It feels like one foot in the "real" world and one foot in the spirit world. But, when I get to talk with my best friend on the phone every week, when I get to make jokes with my sister over something no one else would understand, when my dad and I nod our heads in silent agreement to say hello; those are the moments where I feel very grateful to be alive. And it makes the other things seem kind of small in comparison. Idk, just my spiel

[@Lucia-kd5no]

@@JMoore-vo7ii ...Hi. Let me join you on that. I was aware of my own difference as soon as I was sent into a kindergarten. I left my parents who continuously denied my situation and struggles during my school years, as soon as I finishedhigh school. I worked multiple jobs through my college years and got my 2 Bachelors degrees and surprised my relatives and families who only thought I'd be a junior high drop-out and probably wouldn't find a job either. I've lived through decades of selective mutism and also was suggested of being a ADHD in the past few years. Your mention of 'spiritual' really makes sense to me. I wish you the best and more ease in your daily life - and hope you know someone out there shares very similar struggles and sends you a big hug

[@BrianMalibu]

Thank you for this. I’ve been a waiter and a bartender for 3 years. The over stimulating and fast paced environments killed me. Every single shift would take the soul out of me to the point I couldn’t move or stand up. After long shifts I would go from the funny happy coworker to completely withdrawing from everyone and I couldn’t hide my irritability. At 32 years old I was diagnosed with Asperger’s by my therapist. It all makes so much sense now. Thank you for this video. Showing me I’m not alone

[@clintonwalker5043]

I was recently fired over many things related to the spectrum. I was even once brought into a meeting for “not having enough empathy”

[@rkgomes3875]

I was in this situation once, also. 😕

[@ErutaniaRose]

Ironically, Autistic people have super high rates of empathy, but neurotypicals cannot naturally understand it/communicate the same way...and often refuse to even try. I think neurotypicals/allistics are the ones that lack empathy considering they made an entire world that excludes neurodivergent and/or disabled people, forces them into poverty, homelessness, and death--then decided that it was FINE and functioning. (This is on top of the fact that this world order also destroys a full planet in less than 200 years and called it "civilized". Freaking capitalism.)

[@sashafierce4524]

Wow. That's discrimination. I'm so sorry. Sending love. ❤️

[@ShadoeLandman]

I was fired for inadequately expressing empathy also. Being too monotone, not using good enough inflection, etc. I have a masters in human communication studies. I took college classes to try to learn how to communicate normally, and it was not nearly enough. Using all my energy to try to project like a neurotypical was not enough. 17 years of job experience wasn’t enough. Being extremely reliable and knowledgeable about the company and products wasn’t enough. Now I’m a custodian whose joints, which have always been bad, are giving out. And everyone just says try harder, find a better job, toughen up. That’s not how it works.

[@hiwall4883]

​@@ShadoeLandmanThat sounds like a case of unfair dismissal, if you live in Australia contact fair work Australia, they will give you legal advice for free.

[@JoseRodriguez-pd4ve]

I detest work meetings that have "icebreakers." I would prefer just getting to the point. I suppose that it's my autistic brain. 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@shadowfox933]

Exactly. For me it's just "I'm here to work and get a paycheck. If I wanted to know about your personal lives, I would ask."

[@planetag310]

Since the pandemic, we're all allowed to work from home. It's such a relief. No more having to avoid the lunch room, participate in social luncheons where everyone talks at once, or worry if I'm going to called upon to speak to the group, even if it's just answering a simple question. Also, being situated in an open space where my co-workers socialized loudly was the worst. I can stand the sound of lawnmowers or or other non-human noise, but social noise makes me want to run and hide. It always highlights my difference because I'll always be on the outside looking in. Before this job, I spent many years working as an office temp because it worked perfectly for someone who couldn't bond on a social level. I'd do my job, be pleasant to people and not be forced to be a part of the team because my assignment was going to end.

[@airari24]

What industry/career are you in? Looking for ideas for myself

[@shaunna6673]

I wish I could work from home. Not an option for me.

[@JuliaJames-zx5xy]

@@airari24 Possibly working for a business that has people to work in temporary assignments at businesses. =) Look up temporary employment or temp(s) employment.

[@planetag310]

@@ByteByteMause Ugh, roommates suck.

[@martinmckee5333]

I don't have an autism diagnosis, but I certainly have felt many of the things described when it comes to work - especially around socialization. I absolutely hate it when people suggest I just need to try, and things will work out. I have tried - for decades. And yes, I avoid it now... even though I hate always being an outsider. It's exhausting to constantly try to do something without making any progress.

[@Lucia-kd5no]

Your experience regarding trying to socialize or to act like they do, as to smooth out things to have less traumatic day(...is my interpretation on us trying to 'socialize' at work), is so very like my struggles of decades. Since I was in school as a preteen, I always wanted a group or community I belonged. That cry is still there. When it comes to socializing or getting along with others' ways at work, I don't consider it as if we autistic people lack in something(we're just different). I see it as if a survival skill instead, feeling even grounded by the fact that all these years of observing others' behavioral patterns and emotional needs while us persevering among them, can actually be utilized to bring harmony in relationships and bring us a good day if we so choose. I believe you have garnered by now the patience and understanding on others enough through your intelligence that you could use that to your advantage for a peaceful day in the near future. As you build your calm & strength for the days to come, I hope you keep reminding yourself that you are created differently from those at work(aren't you glad you have a way more depth, perception and compassion and much more than they do anyway) , and that you are unique. I so wish you had been at my work place, because just knowing someone like you are there would give me a sense of belonging and strength to get by a day without even having to speak. But I know it's just me and my daydreams, so please know that there is someone out there with a very similar struggle wondering, how your day went. I'd definitely be proud of you standing strong, knowing your worth yourself, at all times.

[@martinmckee5333]

@@Lucia-kd5no Thank you for your kind thoughts. I certainly do have an understanding of what is required to "smooth over" social situations, and I know that there are times that I can use that knowledge to advantage when meditating conversations between two parties who are communicating less deliberately. I am less hopeful of a better future however. The combined stresses of constant masking and lack of social contact have been increasing the severity of my preexisting mental health struggles. But, perhaps, there is a way.

[@ErutaniaRose]

I have not yet been officially diagnosed, but it is very likely that I have ASD. (I already have ADHD and GAD). That said...I freaking hate parties. The only ones I can stand are a close group of friends with no more than 5-6 people including me. I am tired of people saying "You're no fun" or "Why don't you wanna go out?". Because I do not want to have sensory hell and not be able to sleep with a headache for 3 days after. Because I have sensory issues and allergies to most of the make-up they wanna put on me (plus I just don't like how it looks on me). Because I wanna sit at home and do art, music, crafts, gardening, and such with my cats and human family. Because I have multiple illnesses, physical, that make going out difficult at all and I would rather save that stamina for things I actually want and need to do like classes and renaissance fairs. AUGH. Rant over...I just really needed to get that out.

[@delilahhart4398]

I had a really bad reputation when I worked in retail. I was often irritable and sometimes had meltdowns. Thankfully, I now work from home, so I'm in my safe space. It also helps that my boss has a son who's on the autism spectrum, so she's pretty understanding.

[@taryneast]

Yeah, working from home is absolutely amazing. I can totally control my environment. I'm in my safe space with all my familiar things. I can stim without worrying about anyone seeing and thinking i'm weird (or at least more weird than they already think) :D

[@BarrySmoother]

Must be nice..

[@airari24]

What industry/career are you in? Looking for ideas for myself

[@sidimightbe3246]

I wish I could do that but I have a ged

[@delilahhart4398]

@@sidimightbe3246 Sometimes you can get customer service representative jobs where you work from home. Some of them don't require a college degree. Look around online and see what you can find. Also, there are some companies set up to help autistic people find work. Google it!

[@Astral_Dusk]

As someone with autism, the friendliness of most coworkers strangely and mysteriously wares off after a few months at any job, replaced with being disliked. Completely unaware of what I've done wrong besides struggling to connect with people, which is probably the issue but certainly doesn't "feel" like an issue.

[@WolframGlock]

Can relate 100%

[@I_like_turtles_67]

I tried so hard to make positive changes at an upper management level. Everyone was complacent with tge status quo. I ended up getting fired over it. I won a settlement and vowed to never work a corporate job again. Im a truck driver and love it.

[@natalies3032]

I would love to send this video to the management at my old workplace 😂 she called my requested accommodations "indulgences" and there was a forced resignation. I'm glad i'm not there anymore because of the "subtle" bullying i was receiving, but now I'm stressed about finding work

[@orionkelly]

Wow. It’s really bad huh?!

[@natalies3032]

@@orionkelly on my last day she tried to tell me i shouldn't apply for office jobs because "sitting in front of a computer screen" was the cause of my stress. It was pretty clear that she didn't read the letter from the psychologist. She told me that I should go to a different psychologist as I "had not improved". I had been working there for four years and she waits for me to disclose my diagnosis to her to tell me that I don't put out enough work or try hard enough. Doesn't make sense. Hopefully my next work environment will be different and I won't need to ask for accommodations 🤞

[@natalies3032]

@@orionkelly I stumbled across your channel yesterday and I'm grateful theres another autistic advocate out there trying to encourage understanding and acceptance. Keep up the good work!

[@orionkelly]

@@natalies3032 thanks so much!

[@camellia8625]

I hope you have now found a more supportive work environment

[@Songwriter376]

All my working life was a literal hell on earth that can't be described. Now as a phone CSA with no physical interactions with "team members" at the job, my life is great.

[@Freedom2FlyDrones]

Orion, your son Hugo is so cute, Like you I'm an autistic dad, but of an autistic son too. I never found I fitted in anywhere, I joined the British Army when I was in my teens long long before I knew (got a diagnosis) of autism. That was the hardest 4 years of my life, I couldn't just hand in my notice and walk away after my months notice was worked. I was trapped in the life much like a prisoner/felon in jail. I could only leave when my time was done. Then I went into IT I excelled at it academically but flopped in the office environment. I then became a trucker, I flourished and excelled again being detail orientated knowing distances times durations laws for multiple countries (European continental driver), I understood 6 languages (in my line of work not to be social just relating to work, ie "what time do I load?" "Who is this cargo for?" "I have a tyre blowout on my trailer and I am at .... my tyre size is.... how long will you be?" So I was great there in that role, I was alone 85% of my life, no people to upset or offend or see me being my true me. However, I did have to mask (I call it mimic, because I feel autistic people "mimic" to hide their true selves from those around them and to copy the people and behaviours around them to fit in, not "mask" which is hiding without trying to be like other people, just my take on it), to be seen as normal by colleagues and customers/clients of my employer. There were no Christmas parties thrown fir us lowlife drivers we were below invitation level not being office staff, so no pressure to attend those. Then came camera's in truck cabs, KPI monitoring of driving hours to get as much rolling (driving time) as possible restricting breaks to bear minimums be it daily rest of 9 hours or rests which was lunch of 45 minutes there were no breaks mid morning or afternoon as in offices or smoke breaks allowed. It became too micro managed and watched on camera (driver facing camera not a dashcam). It felt oppressive and like I couldn't be entrusted to work without scrutiny and being watched. I no longer work since diagnosis nit just because of my autism I had a stroke and lost my truck licence to drive and my 25yr long career. Now I can't see what job I can do, I've done the jobs I lived and knowing now, that I failed in them because I was autistic means I'm afraid of returning to them to fail again. I don't see anything I can do that would enable my integration.

[@orionkelly]

Thanks so much for sharing your story and experiences. You’re not alone.

[@corsai7506]

Great great story mate, thank you. At least try to educate yourself, from where self expression will spring forth, you can do this. Ex army brat, merchant navy reject and eternal hopeful.

[@margaretking2969]

Maybe try IT again, you may find one where you can work remote.

[@yogsothoth8389]

Never been able to keep a job without getting fired or sent to the psych hospital. I’ve even been fired from three volunteer jobs. I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until age 43.

[@LindaPenrose]

Are you willing to share how you were able to get diagnosed? I have been referred for evaluation, only to be turned away due to being an adult. Very devastating and leading me to suicidal ideate.

[@emm5805]

I have a word for that thing in my life now. Unwilling detachment. I was called "cold" once by a friend in high school. It was nearing the end of being in high school. I was already used to leaving and never seeing people again. (My family moved around growing up. I am a potted plant, no deep roots anywhere. ) I expressed this idea to my friend. I was called cold, he said in defense. "but you need people." In that moment, I was hurt. That was a "cold" thing to say. And not moved to change my mind. I was not going to see him again. I now know that is part of the ASD part of me. I am not broken. It is nice to know what I am not cold. Just a ableist thing said to me.

[@bandyboo2805]

Hear hear!

[@Soleftendright]

Thank you so much for these videos. I recently got a warning at work for getting overwhelmed and over reacting. They never help me and now my councillor is referring me to get assessed for autism. Hopefully my work will take my appeal. My work said to me 'We look at your face when you walk in and that's how we know if you are approachable or not', so they all make fun of me so hopefully a diagnosis will stop them doing this.

[@ErutaniaRose]

Even if you didn't have one or weren't gonna get one--but cruel to someone like that is never okay. Why are so many people just plain RUDE??

[@ram0666]

@@ErutaniaRose Maybe because they think this person is a pain in the balls,rude and disrespectful because they choose to be. A diagnosis may provide an explanation for what the co workers have to deal with and now they could be more empathetic.Sometimes people just dont understand each other and information and knowledge would combat it.

[@matthewbalch]

That's what it's been like for me. Working in music is my passion but I finally had to just work on my own and hope it will eventually work out. I am hardworking and consistent, but could never play the neurotypical game needed for typically music careers.

[@matthewbalch]

@@Unicorse1000 Thanks! The encouragement is needed! Things have been slow going.

[@SHlTHEADJOE]

As an IT manager, I see valuable strengths that he would bring to a company. He is not ever going to be able to be comfortable being a "yes man" and will typically lean towards brutal honesty. Also, he's going to be loyal to a good company over a colleague. Strong worth ethic with no desire for gosip or spreading rumors. High trust with money or sensitive information. The only trade off is good understanding of the way he see's the world and what he may find uncomfortable or struggles with. Be aware of those but focus on the great characteristics and you have yourself a model employee. I wish he was in Dallas. I'd love to work with him.

[@phoenixrising4995]

No one cares about model employees they just give you the boot anyways.

[@_Royalfool_]

I appreciate “odd people” speaking honestly and the world becoming complex enough to support us

[@ulssigoo_]

I was ready to keep thriving but I realized it's actually never gonna work for me in a mainstream workplace, no matter how "inclusive" they claim to be. Your video is so accurately relatable that I'm crying... Good luck everyone. And don't hold grudges, we are aliens to them.

[@michelebriere9569]

I had several meltdowns in a few workplaces. A big problem was that employers still insist on everyone multitasking, even though studies show multitasking makes more mistakes. I spent a year working for an AUTISM center, but it was for preschool kids and families. I hadn't been diagnosed, yet, and no one recognized my symptoms, behavior. I needed quiet space. I was wondering on a database, and office mates continually gossiped. To say nothing of their god-awful country music. I was fired for the first time in my life.

[@corsai7506]

Oh dear a Shane, what music was playing when they fired you, yikes

[@michelebriere9569]

@@corsai7506 country. I hate that nasel twang.

[@sidimightbe3246]

Racist ableist bosses love country

[@1337flite]

I wish people wouldn't characterise a meltdown as anger. I don't feel like it is anger that causes a meltdown. I may have lost my emotional regulation but I'm not angry. Ususally it's frustration. And usually its not one frustration its a series of frustrations usually about dumb stuff which can be fixed but people just cant be bothered. Usually the involve contradiction, e.g. they say " we are do this to save money" but what we are doing will not actually save money.

[@gottesurteil3201]

It's closer to despair.

[@barefootjakejake7765]

The main reason autism and the typical workplace dont mix is that the typical workplace is comprised of a social hierarchy of ass-kiss, which is a foreign concept entirely for most autistics.

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

One of the worst rage inducing things some coworkers try to "speak for" the less social and autistic people with a "what they're trying to say..." - ASK THE ONE SPEAKING TO ELABORATE. It's like the whole group just gives up on the less social coworkers. Turnover rate fuel in these harassments gone unchecked by management and one can continue to interject and elaborate and advocate for themselves anyways thousands of times and yet the respect still continues to decline because of an inherent mismatch in the social dynamics.

[@tbcstuff3634]

I agree, I go to work everyday wondering if I am going to get fired first or leave on my own terms first.

[@recoveringlibertarian5982]

I don't know , but I have never been able to get a job and stick with it.

[@MrAtheistQueen]

I know it's weird to comment on videos from a couple years ago, but this came across my suggested videos at an interesting time. I just completed a mandatory training on workplace violence. It's a course all staff are required to take each year. It was developed in 2017, though, and it essentially profiles autistic people as possibly dangerous! I don't think was aware that they were requiring us to watch propaganda! The training course used symptoms of autistic burnouts and meltdowns as reasons to suspect a person might be dangerous, including irritability, easily startled, clothing is disheveled or hair is unkempt, may avoid people, etc. I had to give them a piece of my mind about being more sensitive of neurodiversity. They needed to understand those "signs" are often a call for help, whether a person is neurodiverse or not. Such a situation SHOULD trigger more support instead of suspicion! Deputizing co-workers to watch for these signs as indicators of future crimes is completely inappropriate and counterproductive for a company, who is striving to be more inclusive. They ended up forwarding my feedback to the team responsible for that training course. I'm hoping there will be a difference next year (if I still work there! LOL!).

[@KarenCro]

Thank you so much for standing up and saying something!! I cannot believe that is how autistic people are being portrayed, that is beyond terrifying. There is SO much more work to be done to educate and inform people of what autism is and how it affects people. You did a little bit of that hard work by being an advocate in that moment so Thank you. By the way if you aren't still there in that job by now, it's absolutely their loss, not yours!!! ☺️

[@jamesbraun9842]

That's good to stand up for it. They did it at my job too. I wouldn't go so far to call it propaganda but definitely misinformation. (I'd agree you can't have people throwing fits infront of moving machinery, but being quiet, or having dirty clothes shouldn't be signs for suspicion.

[@alexwegner4221]

I think I have about a dozen shutdowns at work a day... or at least it feels like it. I have to calm myself, narrow down one clear next step and keep going. It's so exhausting.

[@billie_the_birdie]

First point and I already relate. I snapped at work as the start of a meltdown but not full blown, and a previous boss of mine drove me to the doctor and I was put on antidepressants (this was 4 years ago and I'm currently waiting for an autism assessment). I had no idea I was autistic at the time so I didn't have any understanding to try to explain my behaviour to colleagues. I now know what my boss did is actually bad practice but I don't work there anymore so whatever. I was good at that job so their loss for pushing me out EDIT: I want to add as a positive but unrelated thing is I'm proud to be autistic. Everyone who knew my nan (she died when I was 6 so I didn't really know her) say I'm a lot like her and she was the nicest person they met. I don't know that she was autistic but the stories I've heard make me suspect she was. And thinking she might have been and knowing how much she's still loved helps me so much. I hope this is true for others: your people will adore you. You 'just' need to find them

[@spauldingrebecca869]

I understand this feeling! I maybe be autistic. I know as a child i was told I was a slow learner. It takes me longer to process things. Unfortunately i have worked with managers that are not understanding. I was told that Im just using learning disability is a lame excuse. My manager gets upset when i forget things. Or when I ask a simple question. Then she wonders why I shut down. Yet its ok for another employee to forget. I find it hard to understand why some people can get away with stuff, but I do something wrong its the end of the world?

[@Eccentric_Villain]

Only having diagnosed 2 years ago after my kids were, I now realise why I struggled so hard in the restaurant. I love working in kitchen and serving customers the best way I can. One thing to say, do not work in a restaurant your can’t escape. It’s a living hell. One job I can recommend, pizza deliveries. It’s a good job where you have an escape when the deliveries come and let down your guard in the car.

[@Mokes888]

Masking, not “guard”

[@ialrakis5173]

I started at a low position after my studies and switched between a couple of employers to improve myself and finally ended up where I'm now for about 20 years. Working in IT where being autistic is an advantage. Being responsible for a huge serverfarm with about 100+ applications with 3 more colleagues requires a very dedicated and meticulous approach. Seems daunting but all it requires is what my autistic brain always wants to do anyway. Procedures are holy, every detail is important and never be happy with just 1 test. My colleagues are aware of my 'condition' and they just don't care. In a good way that is. i'm so grateful

[@techwizsmith7963]

I've always considered getting into IT, and being a network admin has always interested me. This is making me think I might have been completely right, and I should actually go for it

[@Torby4096]

Same here. I can melt down when I am responsible for getting something done, but not allowed to do it. Then I get a bad report and disciplined.

[@gelflingfay]

Executive function is a major issue of mine, which makes my rejection sensitive dysphoria worse Which makes my anxiety and depression worse.

[@slimsonite2111]

Rejection sensitivity is the worst 💔

[@azazelgrigori9244]

I remember working in a grocery store. Every so often a Karen would have me scan some meat. I’d realize that the price tag was destroyed so it can’t be scanned. They’d blame me.

[@slimsonite2111]

Worst job ever, right? If I knew then what I know now there's no way I would've ever done it 😢 Beyond awful

[@azazelgrigori9244]

@@slimsonite2111 Older folks say "No one wants to work anymore. They just wanna collect checks from the government." As someone who is collecting checks, I will say that it's not that I personally don't wanna work. I just don't wanna be abused by my community members, and taken advantage by management. And above all, I'm tired of people saying "It's part of the job." If so, why wouldn't I just collect government checks? Don't get me wrong. I got my own projects, my own subjects of study, and I plan on going back to school so I can get a better job. All I know is, society requires these sorts of jobs to be filled. And if it's fair game to abuse the people who do them, society is not gonna function. I'm not talking about some communist revolution (which will make matters worse). I'm talking about treating people with a basic sense of respect and not acting like a total karen.

[@harmondaniels5108]

My hair is long because my work place moved locations, and my hairdresser was right next to the old location, so yeah..

[@sallyniemann6610]

I can relate to a lot of this, apart from I have given up trying, it's beyond my capacity. I'm creating my own lifestyle now.

[@sammyvillano9502]

As an autistic person. Usually a shut down from me is cutting a potential meltdown off at the head. Shut the situation down. Many do not appreciate that. Then I get ticked off and they make it my problem. Cause these nurotypicals don’t want to adapt like they are always demanding autistic people. I’ve become one of the more adaptable people I know and it will also tick me off seeing neuro typicals struggle to adapt. Cause these are the people prodding and demanding adaptation my whole life. Shit out of excuses. They’ll push you passed a shut down all the way in to a melt down and are too socially inept to see what just happened so they make it other peoples problems

[@juliaevans9521]

Best bit was the end - right environment leads to thriving.

[@kennethtomaszewski3795]

Society has failed us

[@corsai7506]

No we are the new tribe of autism acceptance, but yes, society can suck.

[@rebeccabrownandhoneyberry]

This explains so much of why I have never fit into a regular corporate workplace and have spent most of my life self-employed.

[@juliaevans9521]

I like the comment about the view about attending non work events - not as a positive opportunity but as an interruption to work tasks we want to do!

[@chrispbacon3042]

Orion is fucking with us with the banner across the bottom of the screen...Very funny Mr Kelly.🤪

[@NeverEclipsed81]

I’ve been in retail my whole career, as I’ve grown into management roles I’ve realized more and more that it’s not how hard you work, it’s how hard you push other people to work.. Which I’m not terrible at, but I refuse to lead by negativity, I do not yell at or belittle workers. That alone makes me seem like a bad manager to many of my colleagues. Maybe says more about the culture of corporations than my Asperger’s. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@WHAT-GRINDS-MY-GEARS]

Thank you, 🤣 You right, can't stop being ASD. Still discovering my own. With a trail of lost jobs at almost a time schedule. So a burnout schedule. It's just hard not to be down on yourself. Society tells us as males that we need to provide, that we need to be the wealth generator. I just want to write. I am getting paid to write at this time, I just need more work. Starting to discover a positive work environment. It is just hard to be kind to yourself after being conditioned for so long, not knowing about my ASD. 🤐 Thank for making this channel. your reasoning actually makes sense to me. lol

[@MrWaterbugdesign]

I was very lucky that computer programming was starting to be more common when I was young 45 years ago. Perfect for me. I retired from software 21 years ago and switched to slow flipping my home. Buy a fixer, fix it up over 5-7 years, sell, repeat. Cap gain isn't taxed and I like the designing and construction. Lot's to learn, lot's to get good at and slowly I've gotten very good at remodeling. Working on house #4 now. Biggest project yet. I also use almost 100% salvaged materials so the cost is very low, which increases profit. I saw some posts online about an Aspie who started a roofing company. I thought that would be a good job. I've replaced a few roofs. Pretty easy and there's not a lot of social interaction because you're on a roof most of the time. Good money too. Possible to even work on your own, but this guy had hired a few workers. Creating your own business is easier imo to create a world you like better than trying to fit into an existing structure.

[@BlondeJedi]

Ditto. That's why I own my own lone ranger business. I've been a top notch employee but the people there didn't want me around. I never fit in.

[@TheGavric]

This describes my industry and work environment with 90% accuracy. I need money. I like the work. The enviroinment makes my days miserable. In my industry, there are 100's of people ready to take my place. There's no reason for them to accommodate my particular needs. It's a results-driven industry and environment, and there's no consideration--despite the advertisements and corporate slogans--for quality and consistency. I have to mask. I stim non-stop, all day. I shut down and melt down multiple times a day. I come across as needy or combative or obtuse. I work 6 day weeks, 10 hours a day. It makes life nightmarish. I think the fact that there are so many neurotypical people available for any given position means corporate culture has no pressure to change. As things are, nothing beyond an altruistic drive will ever effect change. Corporations respond to fiscal pressures. Without that...we're screwed. We have to make them give us our equivalent of handicap ramps and similar accommodations.

[@connorbutters8479]

hospitality has got to be the worst for autistic adults, it's loud, it's chaotic, it requires constant clear communication, hours are always changing. can be very stressful for the autistic mind, i've had an ungodly amount of meltdowns and panic attacks working my current job. i've also become quite a bit more aggressive and insubordinate due to the stress. honestly i'm not sure if i'm gonna have this job much longer, not sure if i want it.

[@user-ly4xp6gs7u]

Noone on the outside can see whether a person is austic or not. In fact an autistic person may come across as smart, thoughtful, and can learn to appear "normal". Then all of a sudden, colleagues are hit by blunt/rude/"odd" statements. After a few instances like this, colleagues will freeze out the autistic person (won't be invited into the social circle). Many modern workplaces are disorganized, and plans change from one moment to the other, which can cause an autistic person to get lost and frustrated. Managers often also ramble on, don't listen, and talk too quickly which may cause confusion for an austic person - communication must be be made clear and concise. I believe autistic people tend to better thrive in highly organized work environments with clearly set plans, and with colleagues/managers that listen to questions. Some of the most successful business people in the world are autistic/have austic traits, in tech in particular it's common: Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg are notable examples. In finance, Warren Buffett is on the spectrum it seems, and Bill Gross is confirmed. The list goes on! All of these people were entrepreneurs and worked extremely succesfully on their own terms, and none of them would likely have thrived in an ordinary corporate environment. Austic people can get obsessed, hyper-focused in an area they find interesting, and will keep going - they can be a true gem for a company! Sadly, neuro-diversity hasn't yet gotten much air time, but hopefully it will going forward.

[@amandamandamands]

Yep used to have meltdowns all the time, would also get frustrated that people couldn't see/work out something that to me was totally obvious

[@orionkelly]

💯

[@user-lh6ig4wj4v]

I write texts on Instagram for a museum. There are some benefits. I work with texts about culture and history (my favorite themes), mostly at home. However, my work schedule is chaotic, salary is small, and I don't really have workmates. Sometimes I think that can do more hard work, but also don't have some social skills as neurotypical. So, this work is not so bad comparing to my capacities, but I don't actually like it. I guess it is important to understand your limitations and accept them before moving on.

[@delilahhart4398]

I'm extremely lucky to now work from home.

[@supaipaii]

I didn't find out that I was Autistic until I was 33 I knew something was wrong my whole life tho. I've lost 15 jobs because I am Autistic and now on SSDI and SSI and don't have another job yet. I will say I was treated better down South then here up North. It's like the Southerns know more about people with Autism and are more caring as well. I've been working since I was 14 and I've always been a hard worker and shown up on time as well so that was never a issue. Most people would get rid of me because of the Too Slow Card or because they didn't like me for some reason. Also workplace drama is the worse. I'm there to do my job and leave not deal with people's shit.

[@jamesbraun9842]

It probably has to do with the relaxed personality down south. There's more to it than people like to pretend it is. Actually had one ask point blank "HOW the Hell do you live in New York and not be crazy?" Everyone there is so judgemental and rude and stiff.

[@supaipaii]

@@jamesbraun9842 Yeah I was thinking this too

[@randalthomas3927]

I am fortunate enough to work with a group of people who accept me as I am and let me be me.

[@johnking1026]

Just listened to your talk about your passion for radio and tv. bro- you are an amazing speaker and communicator- I am hoping this channel allows you unlimited potential in your journey and career. you are seriously running circles around a lot of cable tv folks

[@orionkelly]

Very kind of you mate. I appreciate it.

[@alexwelts2553]

Honestly it really feels like corporations and organizations are colonizing and running their platforms and businesses within my own energy. And tapping into my resources and preventing me from actually gathering enough tangible proof, only scattered synchronistic dismissible handfuls of correlated situations, that nobody will listen to. And it really spreads my capacity to handle my own most necessary needs.

[@waldosmyth8110]

Thank's so much! You are spot on once again. I never thought about "unwilling detachment", but it's true. I work in a mainstream workplace for years and feel like a misfit. Meetings and office politics are full of traps and the sensory overload is hard to deal with and puts me in frequent conflict with management. Since I was diagnosed with autism last year, at the age of 53, I applied for workplace accommodation. The whole process is focused on making me fit better into this workplace! They looked at the recommendations from their medical department and I felt them shaking their heads inside. They just don't get it and I don't want to disclose my condition so they don't have more ammunition against me. At one point, I got so frustrated because they keep talking about my "deficits". So I started writing down a list of my qualities to counteract their story at the next meeting. Don't you want an employee in quality control, who is good at seeing patterns, able to focus in a complex environment, reliable, not afraid to speak his mind, wants to know everything about a topic of interest...? Probably most annoyingly, they keep blabbering on about how they "celebrate diversity" and consider it a strength. The diversity they mean is the one that does not affect the workplace and does not require any effort on their part. Thanks again for your videos. You can express things so much better than me :-)

[@E.K.2003]

I'm 67 and just am now getting answers to my questions as to why I couldn't function or fit in. It was my bosses going off on me-- in front of other employees that I so disconcerting . I was adaptable, tried hard, but seemed to draw a lot of ire from bosses and non-acceptence from co workers. I never had meltdowns.

[@Jefff72]

About the part where we need time to respond. This is why I was never good at being a mean person and getting into insult fights with people. I just learned to distance myself from those type of people.

[@Evanx373]

I feel that when you said you want to be part of the team but you're just not. That was my whole working life. The second I tried to join a conversation the group instantly disbanded many times just when they saw me walking up. I even had co workers tell me nobody cares about anything I talk about which was unbelievably hurtful. I almost just quit my job I was so upset that day. I'm disabled now due to other health issues and honestly I think it's one of the best things to happen to me as other than my wife I can spend as much time as I want by myself and I only have to deal with people for the most part who are positive in my life. I never realized the amount of stress I was carrying around at work until I was no longer able to work and it was like a massive weight was lifted off me. I do odd jobs on days where i feel good now to help support myself and im happier than ever. The only job i miss was being a commercial long haul truck driver. If it wasnt for my health id still be doing that as i got as much alone time as i wanted and i was basically getting paid to drive and listen to audio books all day, it was great.

[@Torby4096]

"You need razor-sharp focus! Now, drop what I told you was your only priority and do this instead."

[@utubeuserintheusa]

I too have spent an hour or more searching for a barber without a wait, when I could have waited less than that at the first one I went to.

[@PapalPenguin]

My employer who is a local internet provider in Chicago, has a lot of Neurodivergent employees in it. The Chief of People who hired me has ADHD. I’m very lucky to have them as my employer and how much they work with me.

[@billware6721]

This needs to be said. At least where the US is concerned. First I am recently diagnosed. I would have ( what I now see as ) meltdowns including in the workplace. I have been working on heading them off for years and to my credit was making progress pre-diagnosis. The easy availability of firearms here and dozens if not hundreds of incidents involving employees who after some sort of explosive outburst returned to the workplace with a firearm and attempted to kill coworkers has made everyone in this country very sensitive to aggression in the workplace. Can’t say I blame them. Many large employers have been directed by “Legal” to have a zero tolerance policy. You yell and scream. You are terminated. End of conversation. It’s unfortunate and makes progress difficult.

[@georgecaplan11]

14:52 I find that the experience of constantly having to express interest in others and never having that reciprocated has led me to stop trying. I’m not sure this is unwilling detachment. It’s I give up and am happy to enjoy my own interests by myself.

[@KS-md3uj]

You explain it perfectly. This has been my life

[@liampaulmassey]

Some people I know need to watch this video from beginning to end, they might learn a few things and also learn why I might seem different than others of my age at the pub

[@shadowfox933]

I don't even bother going to pubs or bars. They're just too loud for me to deal with

[@MissyRoseLord]

I’m Autistic and I work casually at McDonald’s. I get forced to take breaks when it’s convenient to the managers, this means I end up from the 3 hour mark onwards being almost completely nonverbal, holding back tears, my anxiety/OCD is way worse and way more intense and I can’t move much, anything I’m asked to do is answered either with a nod or headshake or a one word answer like yes or no. I don’t get shifts anymore because I’ve had a go at the owner for making yelling at me because I didn’t move fast enough for his liking. I was cooking for the whole kitchen bent over this tiny metal station in the corner of the room. I have ended up with back pain, wrist pain, shoulder pain and poor circulation in my feet because of this job but I can’t quit it. It took me 100+ applications over a year to even get this one that I barely have.

[@danielaruhl1710]

❤️ Doing research for about 6 months after selfdiagnosis with 48 I never before understood the difference between meltdown and shutdown, thanks for making it clear. My whole life and every single „quirky trait“ starts making sense under the lense of Asperger‘s (and - as I am female - masking until I burn out completely) … Keep up your great work, Orion!

[@nkleeman07]

I lost my job of 5 years because I was emotional and lazy. Felt amazing, but my new job is amazing they are so understanding. I felt like i had imposter syndrome so bad until diagnosis, now i know why, its because in some ways i do have the brain of a child. I dont feel like i have the imposter syndrome anymore.

[@unknownn5509]

I believe that my boyfriend might be on the spectrum. He has major outbursts towards very simple things. It has made our relationship hard. While he seems pretty NT on average, the more I'm learning about austism, the more I believe he might be undiagnosed. That goes for me as well, but I've also had a lot of childhood trauma.

[@mssaigon73]

This hits so many bells for me!!! I will be getting evaluated in July for autism .

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Ohh😮❤ Baby-Hugo🥰🥰🥰 I know he is bigger now, but what a cuty😊 P.S. : I am actually trying to watch all the old videos until I met the first I've seen. Interesting to see how it all started.

[@Kornkitt3n]

i had a job interview and told them i was going into study in February, quickly got told by people around me that's not what to say? i can't wrap my head around this because they'll know if i hand in my 2 weeks and say im off to study.. the same study that has to be applied for in June lol. anyways. didn't get the job😂

[@recoveringlibertarian5982]

I am good with people. not so good with bosses who expect too much . well I have dyslexia and because I present well . they think I can do busy work to thier standards.

[@carolynv8979]

When the neurotypical management pulls you aside and has a “friendly chat” where they give you no actionable instructions & clarify no rules or guidelines. Then a month later when you’re getting fired they tell you you were “warned”. What? That day you took 15 minutes of my work time to SAY NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING?!

[@bandyboo2805]

I absolutely agree with all of this. The only slight difference I have is that people "Seem" to like me, my problem is I do not really like them, at least not enough to have outside work relationships, e.g. going to the pub, going to their houses for dinner etc. So I have absolutely nobody at all I can rely on, or trust anywhere. This, I can see, is partially my own doing but I just cannot help the way I am and trust me, I have tried! I generally find people (NT's) boring, and impossible to be around for any length of time. During work I am forced to be with them, outside of it I can choose. And I choose to be alone rather than listen to the constant small talk drivel. I have pretty much perfected the art of modifying my behaviour to avoid the worst of the meltdowns, even if it means going to the toilet to collect myself, but they still occur a little at work, and in the company of anyone who manages to actually gain access to my flat. Thanks for these video's Orion, it really helps to hear someone speaking about what you have felt yourself for so long, and your channel seems to be my final refuge, my inner keep, away from those who just cannot understand.

[@KarrianneGrove-le5pf]

All this stuff sounds like the same thing as me going through the same stuff

[@JENTHINKSO]

You're funny, Orion! Like professional comedian funny. Your barber shopping is something I would totally do! I relate to everything you said.

[@nooki1102]

Every video i watch is another box ticked. I can relate to almost every scenario. My eyes are being opened to what i thought was a stupid behaviour i couldn't understand why i did it. But my meltdowns can be very aggressive unfortunately but now im aware of whats going on its helped me to walk away before it escalates. Thank you mate

[@user-lk9wy7hi1d]

9:15 the text at the bottom made me laugh 😂

[@thecompletebasquiat6872]

Orion, thanks for posting this, I can really relate, and I need to hear it, because I often hate myself for the way I behave.