our cat died... November vlog - just stay positive

A vlog of things we did in November and what happened.
So so unexplainably hard saying goodbye to little Leonardo. Watching him so ill for so long was incredibly heartbreaking, he is such a beautiful and strong boy. Sorry I haven't uploaded for a while, I have still been recording I just didn't know if people liked the vlogs and I literally miss Leonardo so much. Trying to look at all the good things in life when something bad happens.
Also some very good times, and more amazing food (obviously).
Walks on the beach, recovery wins, new discoveries and fun with the best people.
I AM SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS!!!
FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: / elzani__

[@sianchild]

"The dessert was okay but I probably wouldn't get it again. I prefer..." Is a million times better than when you cried because the pizza wasn't perfect. I'm very proud of you.

[@genius2655]

Character development 😤✊🏼

[@lisacs83]

I started watching your videos about a year ago, and the difference in your recovery between then and now is like night and day! Obviously no one can see the mental battles you still face, but it's obvious you're enjoying your life more now! A year ago everything seemed to be a long, excruciating decision and asking your mum a thousand times, "Shall I try it?" or "Should I?" and lots of reassurance-seeking. Not that it was a bad thing - it's what you needed in the early stages. It seems like now you're more able to take risks and be brave on your own! I remember you promising your family (and yourself) so many times that this year you would recover... and you kept that promise! You're doing it! I'm so sorry about Leonardo... I'll give my cat an extra cuddle for you x

[@harmonyhope1709]

This is all so true. It's been beautiful watching the progress in confidence around food and having more fun an fewer tears 💕🙌

[@edi165]

could not agree more- it got me emotional thinking back to her videos last christmas time. Obviously it's still hard everyday but her progress this year has been SO inspiring! Love you Elzani xx

[@katiegillson5843]

I lost my dog two weeks ago during my recovery. I know it’s hard. You want to stop eating and being the best for you, everything seems hard and impossible. But you’re doing AMAZING. You’re so strong and going against every rule an eating disorder tries to make you follow. Your family are amazing, constantly there to help you. Recovery is hard, and I share that with you. But you are the reason I fight everyday to be me. You are an inspiration and I am so thankful you came along. You deserve everything, and always remember you are beautiful inside and out x

[@emilias993]

four words; you give me hope

[@rebeccarose4448]

One day could you talk about how your mum deals with this all? Because I only recently told my mum and she’s really struggling to 1) understand why I find things hard that she doesn’t think twice about, and 2) deal with my constant need for reassurance, only talking about food, and questioning every single food choice. Xx

[@genius2655]

My Mum dealt with an eating disorder herself and is completely recovered, yet her trigger was different from mine. I have no idea what caused mine, but she attaches her experience to mine, and says that it’s for attention and everything. So I’d like to see that too

[@angellam3276]

me too! My parents just tell me to “not think about it” and it’s really hard to explain why I can’t and how I feel

[@clayton8009]

That's why I can't tell my parents about my eating disorder. My mom is not strong enough, and seeing her crumble will make me feel worse, guilty and regretful. I know it. It can't be helped. That's why I think that the parents of Elzani are super strong just like her!

[@mummycook271]

She’s got a very special mum for sure.

[@101sanford]

@@mummycook271 i rather have the girls

[@annasiedow6703]

Hearing you say that you are living the life you want to live literally makes me cry😭😍 I am so happy for you!❤

[@lucyc5134]

Could you do a video on your aspirations for the future - like where do you want to be in 5yrs and new year resolutions and stuff xx

[@summz13ify]

I’m so sorry for your loss Elzani, it’s so hard losing a pet. They are family. He isn’t in any pain now and is probably having so much fun doing all the things he loved when he was younger. ❤️

[@loganbaker7784]

Elzani! I have been watching you since your first videos. I can’t even describe the radiance you give off. You are glowing and i can not even such a positive light shining through more and more as time passes. I enjoy seeing your personality and silliness come through and shine! :)))

[@jademusic1211]

I'm so sorry about Leonardo, hon'. 😟😥💔 I've "lost" two cats, so I know the pain. You'll see him, again. Just allow yourself to grieve and take it one day at a time. Also, loved your very colorful meals. I'm glad you're enjoying everything, hon'. Stay strong. ♥️♥️♥️

[@anouk5631]

it is so amazing to see how full of energy and life you are. it is a huge inspiration to me, thank you so much

[@elliemarshall8360]

Bless Leonardo and you Elzani ! I hope you feel better soon just like Leonardo because after being ill he will be in a better place now 😚

[@elzani6744]

Rosie’s way of life thank you!! He’s definitely loving it again I bet he’s stealing all the food in heaven haha ❤️

[@elliemarshall8360]

Elzani aww the way your family loved him so much melted my heart but keep that in mind about him stealing the food , it lightens the subject a bit ok ? 😘 Your so positive !!

[@lea4385]

I’m eating a magnum while watching this bc all the good foods you eat always make me jealous ;)

[@denamullen340]

Lea She gets to eat the BEST looking food I swear! What I eat seems so mundane in comparison lol

[@AA-nw7hi]

I'm so sorry for Leonardo... Lots of love, you're a wonderful person Elzani💗

[@harmonyhope1709]

Your family evenings look so cosy with your pj's and blankets in front of the TV ❤️❤️❤️

[@lavenderoats]

Your progress is so incredible it makes me tear up 😭❤️❤️ you’re amazing and so brave and you’re kicking the ED’s butt

[@kyram1452]

girl you’re glowing!!!!!! your change of mindset is so motivating also, it’s so sweet seeing you all celebrate leonardo’s life🥺 just think, that his moving on gave space for another beautiful kitty in this world

[@For3v3rY0urAng3ll]

Leonardo ): Thinking of you and your family

[@elzani6744]

KiwiMaddieKiwi 😘

[@SurlyMiss]

Awe youre doing so well. You have the prettiest most kindest smile ever. Im so sorry about your kitty.

[@maritvoogd1320]

Love it when I see you have posted a new video. Was hoping if you would be doing more christmassy videos (vlogmas) in december? Sad to hear about leonardo but at least he is not in pain anymore.

[@natashamelady7566]

I'm so sorry about Leonardo. three of my cats died this past year and it's been really hard. I'm sure Leonardo had a wonderful life and is no longer in pain.

[@deyaniraramos1396]

Elzani 🖤 🦋 You are so strong, a great leader/role model...I love the things you share with us. I know you have difficult points and that's what I love about you, you show your authentic self...the real you. I am so so sorry as well that Leonardo wasn't doing do well and that we had gone but the way you guys talked and laughed together made the situation waaay more safe and loving. I know how much you guys cared for him. He was so adorable. You were still powering through even after that...wow! That's incredible...can't get enough of your videos or you! And your family of course 😉💞 I appreciate everything about this channel you have created, I really do. It helps me Soo much, I smile, I tear up, I laugh, I have Soo much thought about things...and I get through my rough days which doesn't make me feel so alone..you know?... Your lovely, beautiful, incredible, strong, enough, deserving, loved, brave, talented, creative, hilarious, understandable, caring, intelligent, willing, purposeful, authentic, genuine, and much more. I want to do the things you say you actually do. I have what you want now, you say what you mean, you act respectful.....oh gosh I feel like I have lots to say all the time sorry hahaha...your family loves you because of these things...really. your an amazing daughter and best friend ❣️ and also you can't have too much pizza, bread...etc...it's fuel, it's lovely, it's food. I admire you so much, you give me strength and Willingness to power through...keep being you, the best version of you and I don't mean "perfect." Care about you sooooooooo much Elzani 🖤 🦋🕊️👑 🥊💪🎸🥣🍫🤸🛋️👍💙☮️🤸🍞🥔🥜🍎🍝🍕🍨🍯☕🌄🎄🎶🎥🕯️🛒😎

[@helens.undead666]

Leonardo was my favorite 😭 he was the most underrated 🥺🖤 I’ve had my cat for a year now and I don’t want him to get any older he’s my baby😭

[@bia58f]

R.I.P Leonardo 🙏🙏stay strong Elzani 💪🙏😘

[@sunnyD9]

Honestly watching how much more vibrant and lively you’re getting is so inspirational. I’m so proud of you and of all your accomplishments n how you’re reaching your goals slowly yet fully. I’m so happy for you and your family. We all believed in you and you’re doing so well! Never stop!!

[@thedrugthatkilled]

💕 I've been putting off watching this one 😭 Leonardo, I'll miss that squishy face!

[@lolitab28]

So sorry for you and your families loss. Family pets are just that... Family. Hoping you and your family including the rest of the fur family find comfort in each other. Strength and love to you all.

[@etta1024]

You have come so far! It's wonderful to see the relationship you've built with your sister. I remember in one video you said that she had said she felt she didn't even know you. Now you are all laughing and just enjoying time with each other. Don't ever discount your progress, you may not fully be where you want to be, but from your first video to now... you've made it!

[@samphillips7192]

Sending love and prayers to your family. It's so hard when a valued member of your family passes away, as that's what Leonardo was. xxxx I am so sorry for your loss

[@sarazacharias2865]

Best recovery vlogger EVER, you are impacting & helping SO many people recover & live their lives again ♥️ you are more loved than you could EVER imagine!! I’m so proud of you Elzani

[@Rojena]

Your mom is the biggest blessing

[@AshWinchester67]

I’m so sorry for your loss! So so proud of you though and I love seeing how you are growing each day, Always keep Fighting everyone!! ❤️❤️

[@yvonnepoe8117]

So soory about Lenendardo, now he is playing with all the cats, can, run, see, jump with them all, Seems like you love everything you taste, have you found anything you ever tried you do not like.

[@cupcakekimmyy]

Leonardo 😂 but you made me laugh 💖

[@denamullen340]

Your BEAUTIFUL!! Inside and out! Hey Satara! Your beautiful as well sweet girl! 💜💜

[@whatsthestorymorningglory61]

I am sorry for your loss! He‘s an angel cat in heaven now.

[@lol-ro2kl]

i’m new to the channel and never seen leonardo before but i’m crying so hard oh god

[@thomasarnaud1868]

Sorry for the loss. Sending you lots of love 💖

[@niandaguestford7560]

Awwww poor thing. You could tell he wasn’t well 😢 least he isn’t in pain now but so sorry for your loss x

[@candiceyoung8244]

I'm so very sorry about precious Leonardo, he was so beautiful, keep doing well,and life will get better❤💙

[@harmonyhope1709]

Impresssed with yours and Sitara's home cooking 🙌🙌🙌❤️❤️❤️

[@Bieeeepable]

I really love your attitude and shiny eyes atm.. also how you're making a huge effort to film and edit all of this for us! please, Elzani, enjoy you're christmas and family time and try eeeverything you want to

[@ohwellwhateverr]

So immensely proud of you Elzani. You look happier and healthier than ever and your attitude is so much more positive. Keep on striving forward! ☺️ Btw, I’m so sorry about your cat. I lost my cat very suddenly about a month ago and it was so painful. Give your dogs an extra big cuddle

[@hannahrr366]

Aww I’m so sorry to hear about Leonardo! I hope you and your family are doing okay ❣️💓 lots of love.

[@chlo9102]

Luv u elzani!!!!

[@emilyfrancis-isabelle7803]

I'm at the bit where lil Leo has just died and am crying :(( Sending so much love to you all xxxx

[@meryem2762]

Oh Elzani may God bless Leonardo and your whole family. Sending you so much love and I know how it feels as we also just lost our cat a few months ago.

[@hollyvipond168]

Rest in peace beautiful little Leonardo ❤❤❤ xxx

[@oliviapirie6941]

Started crying watching the footage of Leonardo :(

[@SilentNightkiller969]

My condolences for your little fur friend. May your cat R.I.P. 💔🌹

[@kirstyindark4972]

So sorry about Leonardo😔, absolute gorgeous puddy and had such a loving family❤🐾🌈

[@melody4ever227]

Omg I’m sorry for the loss of your cat! I lost my dog exactly an month ago.... it hurts but when it is time, it is time ❤️❤️❤️

[@cameron8742]

Awe poor Leonardo, I have lost one of my cats from heath problems but I know he is now happy and not in anymore pain. Also loved the Aussie accents lol, love from Aus🇦🇺

[@timetogetmylifeback]

I remember you saying on instagram recently how you werent sure if people wanted to see the vlogs, im sure we all do as often as possible! I'd literally watch a video of yours everyday if i could! 🖤

[@JoJo-vg9sj]

agree …..I would watch a vlog from Elzani every day too...…. more videos PLEASE xxx

[@darkpaprika6221]

My cats name is Leonardo too. I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤ He's watching over you now.

[@smileeforabit]

I’m sooo sorry for Len. I love your whole family

[@emepleez]

So sorry to hear about Leonardo :( .... i'm thinking your Mum should share her recipes.... they always looks so yummy.... all the best from Canada xo

[@sophiemorrison185]

My heart is breaking for yous , stay strong ❤️

[@lemonpeach9233]

OMG YOU HAAAAVVVVVE TO TRY GIFFLAR!!! They are the cinnamon rolls you passed in ikea when you pointed out the those cookies. Try the I promise you’ll love them!! They are my favourite snack!!! I’m so sorry for your cat, he is running around and having fun with other cats in cat heaven ❤️❤️❤️

[@SimonMetin]

Sorry to hear about Leonardo. Glad to see you are doing well. I hope your head is ok from the whack!

[@katieholmes7437]

Bless the poor lil guy. Not gunna lie, I cried :(

[@genius2655]

Same

[@psychedlicsouljam1995]

You haven't been posting much anymore but I'd like if you did some more food challenges, maybe try some more fear foods! Recovery is a long, life time process and I know one day you'll be right where you want to be! Xox

[@harmonyhope1709]

Oooo wreaths and advent calendars, Christmas is coming!! 🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅

[@delfinapulichino9998]

I love your personality! Lots of love

[@frani687]

omg i know it's just one of the many many many beautiful things part of the recovery, but did u notice that your hair is looking so gorgeous? 😍‼️❤️

[@biffalump]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your furry brother I dread the day I have to say goodbye to my lot your really brave beauty’s xx

[@thedrugthatkilled]

How good is Satara, telling those funny stories about Len 💕

[@makayladay7938]

I love you cocker spaniel doggy. So adorable. I had one before.

[@kecrn4132]

Thinking of you, Elzani, and your family💕💗

[@harmonyhope1709]

So proud of all your food challenges and saying YES to a piece of chocolate 🙌🙌🙌❤️❤️❤️

[@marthakate342]

Leonardo🙏

[@Zara-zo8ed]

Love this video so much!! more pleaseeee

[@niki8863]

We lost our cat Jelly in August. We made his last few days special. We took so many photos. So many cuddles and kisses. He got up to all sorts. R.I.P Leonardo.

[@lucydefoubert3716]

So sorry about Leonardo, he was beautiful ❤️

[@millienewman136]

awww poor len, rip len! ❤️

[@user-tb6ui5fw5h]

It was my fault to watch this at 2am... all the food looks soooo great!!!

[@angwells1759]

What do you use to record your videos ?

[@ashendriashwini5507]

LOADS OF LOVE ELZANI HOPE YOU REPLY ❤😍

[@elzani6744]

DANCE DANCE thank you for watching and commenting ❤️

[@ashendriashwini5507]

@@elzani6744 OMG I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOU REPLIED YOUR RECOVERY JOURNEY HELPED ME THROUGH ALOT IM SONASHI FROM SRILANKA

[@alisonjohn]

I love the blogs! Keep going!

[@jennymedy]

Ooh, you ate pepparkakor at IKEA 😍 They are the best. I'm so sorry to hear about Leonardo ❤

[@gr-md2nr]

Hey sweet, my cat micia just died too. It is hard to be positive, but never give up!

[@harmonyhope1709]

I'm so sorry for the loss of Leonardo ❤️❤️❤️

[@susieleyens3641]

What does Elzani do? She doesn't appear to go to school or college and doesn't have a job. What does she intend to do with her life?

[@lauraleah_]

wow!!! i don't know if it's me but you sound so different! and you look so good! you're doing so well !!!!

[@emilywilliams3385]

My heart broke a little when i heard that leonardo passed away 😫

[@makayladay7938]

Sorry for your loss....cheer up.

[@shelleyn2884]

Sweet Leonardo RIP

[@mlouisgxnd]

..is it just me or does her voice sound different?

[@aoifemariasully9270]

I think it might just be the pitch on the camera because all her family sound a bit off haha

[@laurakate4489]

Shes talking a bit faster.

[@SarATuber1]

What was wrong with Leonardo 😟 ? And how old was he ? RIP Leonardo 💙

[@leabhr-0557]

I could never handle such a situation as well as you all. If my cats die I will cry for like 2 months straight (minimum) I will not be able to go to school or do anything else besides lying in bed and crying myself to sleep.

[@DominosAndHearts]

Its cruddy losing a pet im sorry for your loss

[@onlyme7308]

Lots of love. I just cried too 😰

[@JoJo-vg9sj]

Love the Aussie accent. So sorry for your loss of Leonardo he was such a cutie xxx

[@ilikeyoutube836]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss

[@jodiej18]

Sataras Australian accent is on point!

[@cornishpixie1235]

You should try wakiki bagel shop in Exeter so good

[@pinksloth7318]

Still love you though. Xxx stay AWESOME 😎

[@girld1ck]

I don't mean this in a rude way, but Elzani do you have friends? You never talk about friends. Having more friends could help you in reducing obsessing about food!

[@katarzynasegen2226]

Or maybe job...

[@dianamcmullen3659]

Eating disorders (and many other mental illnesses) take a lot from an individual. A social life? Usually not possible when one is in the depths of an eating disorder. It takes time to recover and part of recovery is forming a new social network. Looks like she has many healthy relationships in her life...she's close with her sisters (and sisters can be the best friends one can have!). Also, getting a job is not a priority for someone fighting for their life. The food obsession actually continues for most people until they are fully weight-restored. This is a solid sign one is approaching their healthy set point. Food obsessions reduce (along with many other behaviors). Some people move faster in certain areas during their recovery than others. It appears she is still working on survival. That looks like a big enough "job" for her right now.

[@girld1ck]

@@dianamcmullen3659 i understand. Recovery takes a lot of energy. I'm also recovering from anorexia and I'm now weight restored. It's just my own experiecne, but for me having (new) friends really distracted me in a food way from food. Yes, she has a lot to work on still, but she was talking about distracting herself more from food on her second vlog account, which she just made. For me, having friends made 'going out to eat' easier and nicer than with family, mostly because all of friends don't know about my struggling so it feeling freeing.

[@dianamcmullen3659]

@@girld1ck I tend to agree with what you're saying...and I'm sure your comment was meant to be helpful. I think when we go through recovery we have certain things that helped us and/or were turning points in our process and it's natural to want to suggest it to others still struggling. We have to remember that everyone's journey is different and in the way that friends might be helpful to someone more extroverted...social situations could be a big trigger for another person (especially early on in recovery). I personally became more social as one of the LAST parts of recovery. I found time with my family and a few close friends to be immensely healing. I do agree that spending time around positive food role models is very helpful--it's important to normalize eating regularly. It does appear that she has lots of strong family relationships, so it seems that's her main support right now. Never know, maybe she has close friends who just prefer to not be in videos. At any rate, I do agree that relationships are a very important part of recovery. It is entirely up to the individual where those relationships come from--family, old friends, new friends, etc.

[@laylastarling9821]

Hey there as your recovering from anorexia which is amazing, so strong😇, did your hair grow back if you before lost some❤️

[@cyco077]

I feel sorry for the cat it was a beautiful cat 😭😭😭

[@kirstyhamonthehill732]

My thoughts are with you and your family xox

[@lauramarsden8976]

I'm sorry about Leonardo but he's in a better place :3