FEAR FOODS, KAYAK, CAKE + CARVERY - RECOVERY WINS + LIFE

A vlog of what I have been doing this week...
Lots of fun and I did things that just make life awesome.
Recovery is so worth it, from eating cake at midnight, to having energy to go kayaking at the weekend.
Being with family and being in the moment, that - that is awesome. Going out for a carvery. Tasting Satara's homemade food. Eating the biggest slice of lasagne.
Laughing with everyone, and not worrying about anything except having the best time at that very moment.
Having the biggest smile. And that smile being genuine, real.
I used to dread the thought another day living in the grips of my eating disorder. I'd watch my family enjoy BBQ's and spend time together, I'd long to feel relaxed and happy, wondering "why aren't I happy when I have the best people around me?"
Now I realise, it is possible. Life is awesome, and you can be happy, well and truly. You just have to know that you are worth it. Because you so so are.
FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: / elzani__
PO Box:
Elzani
PO Box 253
Exmouth
EX8 9DT

[@karendelgado7923]

Satara seemed unhappy. Seems like that the last few videos as well. Hope she is ok.

[@elzani6744]

She’s fine she just was super stressed about her food and nutrition homework because it didn’t look right but we all thought it looked INCRED and it tasted AMAZINGGGGGG!

[@_emmaa_xo6514]

Satara is such a talented cook/bake!! but she is waaaayy too hard on herself! she keeps putting her cooking down when there is nothing wrong with it at all!! it is amazing! she does not see her talent and potential! makes me sad :(

[@elzani6744]

_Emmaa_ XO she’s soooooo talented and amazing, it looked incredible and tasted it too!!! And it was such hard work to make it all, she’s so amazing!

[@_emmaa_xo6514]

@@elzani6744 and you are talented and amazing too elzani! 💕 and you will find so many passions and loves and talents now with your new found freedom and happiness and there is more to be found and more of life to live when you keep continuing on with your recovery! You are doing so amazing and I am so proud 💕 there is so much out there waiting for you to discover! You're such a strong, inspiring girl 💕

[@kecrn4132]

_Emmaa_ XO - I so agree with you! Satara does an incredible job cooking and baking!

[@linneasvensson1443]

Can you do a story time about your anorexia story, how it all started how your parents noticed and so on

[@annakrupova6403]

Also I am wondering why do you think it all started? What are the underlying issues to trigger this illness.

[@JfVorthex]

Is Satara ok? I've noticed her attitude and mood become more and more miserable and negative, especially towards herself as time has passed. I don't know if it's just the moments captured, or if it's just because the rest of your family are so positive and bouncy all the time.

[@leakovacs6306]

Jess.ka I thought I was the only one who had noticed! I’m worried about her tbh, I hope she is doing ok

[@lilichan5320]

I am also worried and it makes me want to see her signing or doing that kind of things that make her so special

[@b8665]

Jess.ka she always seems more introverted than the rest of her family but ya you are right!! she does seem too self critical. :-( i hope she’s ok

[@elzani6744]

She is awesome, she’s super happy and soooooo positive but she had lots of homework before she went back to school and had to fit doing 3 courses of food and nutrition in and thought it didn’t turn out good but omg it was soooo good it looks insane and tasted incredible!!! Also last year of school so many exams. I wish I was as talented, strong and motivated as her 😱

[@JfVorthex]

Oh ok, poor thing just has lots on her plate then. Just wanted to make sure she was alright 😊

[@Nicolacurran1]

Can you tell Satara that I'm sure her batter was fine but churros are usually piped into hot oil whereas these looked like the batter was drizzled in. It doesn't matter, they'd still taste the same. They looked like beignets actually which are also delicious. I did baking and pastry arts in college and let me tell you only through making the odd mishap every now and then do we learn. Try not to be so hard on yourself but as a fellow baker I understand wanting everything to go perfectly but hey that's just not life! Everything looked fab and I'm sure tasted amazing!

[@UnbelievableSophLove]

hope satara is ok!!! she needs more faith in herself!!

[@elzani6744]

Sophie Bessant she deffo does she’s so talented at cooking! She’s very perfectionist everything she makes is incredible

[@katarinantanaskovic]

I really like how u and your family find way to do funny things and to bake because there is nothing better than home made food and how you are together, doing things and enjoying life

[@LittlestHoboKatie]

Dunno if its the sun or your recovery but its great to see some colour back in your cheeks, looking healthier and healthier as the days go on. Hope Satara is okay btw, she seems a little down. Such a talented girl, her food looks amazing and she has such a beautiful voice... On that note - More music videos from you both pleeeeease :) x

[@cupcakekimmyy]

Awwwwwww lil scruffy Leonardo. What a good boy :) Satara sounds like my past self with food. If it didn’t turn out exactly how my mind envisioned then it wasn’t good, no matter what anyone said. But she’s a talented young lady and that pride and desire for perfection will take her places for sure. Super vlog. You look really happy and content 👌🏻

[@talissa3093]

Would actually like to know a bit more about you as a person other than your Eating Disorder and food

[@cinnyslittlefriends1379]

Happy birthday, Grandma! Such a sweet lady. ♥️

[@junenovae]

when your mum and you said "on ice cream" at the same time hahaha so adorable

[@elzani6744]

June Novae Hahahah such good ideas 😛

[@testt9414]

i hope satara is okay. she is so talented and sweet :(

[@Alex-ei2yx]

your progress is incredible so far i’ve seen such a huge change in your attitude. well done i feel incredibly proud for you. keep fighting and love and support your family! x

[@yvonnepoe8117]

Happy birthday Grandma, I hope you had a great one.

[@matt24680]

May I ask how you feel and deal with the fact that your family has a treadmill /Workout machine in a family place? For me that would just be so so so difficult.

[@Snickerdoods.x]

I was wondering the same thing.

[@SeekerKC]

Happy Birthday, Elzani's grandmother! 🎉🎊🎆

[@panagiotadrakontaeidi7624]

Just believe in yourself,have strength,go on and just enjoy life..Your family needs you amd you need them!Never give up cause there are so many things we can and MUST enjoy amd only one life to live❤

[@juliansgma]

Happy Birthday Grandma! She def doesn’t look 68! She’s beautiful 🎂

[@ramenwhore]

your portion sizes look like theyve decreased so much! i hope you are managing okay xx

[@Nicolacurran1]

Yeah she looks like she's struggling a bit more since she came back from holidays which is probably to be expected. A lot of people get the post holiday blues. Most people feel more carefree or allow themselves to indulge more on holidays so she might have felt like that and then boom you're back to reality when you come home.

[@b8665]

Tania Hobin i think she’s doing great.

[@Jessica-5827]

Yes I noticed that too. She needs to be eating more than her family at every meal not the same or less. That is why she hasn't gained muhh weight yet she isn't refueling properly. It must be so tough for her still but she seems to edit most of that anxiety out of her videos now.

[@labourerplop5034]

Tania Hobin are you kiddding me her portion size is plenty I would say more than enough

[@Lunarangst]

Labourer Plop perhaps you know nothing about ED recovery and weight restoration then

[@b8665]

that blue sweater looks gorgeous on satara 🖤🖤🖤 omg i made a lentil bologenese yesterday heehehee

[@tristecherie7464]

you are doing so well and giving us all courage!

[@i_h2081]

Amazing.... your energy and ,life... yes girl. Ps. Apparently costa are bringing lotus cupcakes out 🥳

[@hannahrr366]

Sataras cooking always looks amazing! Your grandmas birthday cake looked yummy too.

[@darranbolas]

Thank you for uploading, I do love your vlogs, I get miserable when from time to time, You and your family are beautiful people. Love to all x

[@Bibsolina]

Blaze is just the cutest dog in the world. He looks like a teddy bear with short hair.

[@SimonMetin]

Are you going back to school this month? It would be great to see a vid on what you are up to there!

[@lolapoggg2037]

Simon Metin she’s too old for school....

[@SimonMetin]

@@lolapoggg2037 when i said school, i was referring to the umbrella of school (GCSEs, A-levels), college or university. you're never too old to learn :) it would just be nice to see some other content from Elzani about her life to show there is more to recovery than food.

[@Snickerdoods.x]

She's not doing school currently.

[@SimonMetin]

@@Snickerdoods.x has there been a vlog on this? it would just be interesting to know what she is doing in life because i know she is in her 20's now

[@lolapoggg2037]

Simon Metin not everybody wants to do higher education

[@avitalisegev6740]

Wow! You look great and beautiful! Your face and skin is proper glowing! Love you!!

[@ashendriashwini5507]

You are such an inspiration to me ELZANI Youve helped me alot through my recovery #Letskeepfighting A very big Thank You Loads of love to you and your family. May god always be with you 🤗❤

[@allysonroyston9671]

Happy birthday to your lovely Gran!! That cake looked amazing!!!! Keep up Elzani!!!You are fab❤️😍xx

[@sofiea6298]

You are such an inspiration!

[@victoriafrickervlogs8784]

Love your positivity

[@rebeccarose4448]

I love you and your family aww

[@chazzmania7738]

What a lovely video. Well done Elzani, you are looking a lot better. I like to lay ont he floor :D I liked the kyaking part :) I love the chocolate cake with buttons :) Satara - your cooking is great, ease off yourself a bit gurl and trust in yourself a bit more :) Keep going El :) love you. X

[@jasmintraill8530]

Can you do an update video on where you think you are at and your struggles victories and where you are wanting to go ?!!? 💖

[@shelleyn2884]

your pets are all SO sweet!

[@orang1414]

Hey elzani this was such a lovely video, would you mind sharing how you made your lentil bolognese? I'd love to try a vegan version of spaghetti. Thanks and take care xx

[@princessladytanya]

That chachouka and bread looked awesome !

[@candoga]

Your granma and your family must be so happy to include you as well in this year's b-day paries ^_^

[@sabaa1869]

omg that bread satara madeee :000 lovveee

[@pickleonastick420]

amazing as always💙

[@jayye.8886]

Yess I’m so proud u had the bigger slice x

[@jayye.8886]

U have the nicest cat I’ve seen in my life no joke

[@JazminMccoy]

That pasta and that lasagna you made wow 👌 look amazing

[@Sofia-rk1iv]

Whenever you upload im so excited ! Keep going youre doing so well Elzani your progress is amazing , you look so good😍 love youuu 💕

[@deyaniraramos1396]

Days; 1) Fruit is always good, ooh I love your new ring from Cypress. Dang it's so windy at the beach, when you go during the day? Oh... different shapes crisp, hope they were really nice. Which was your favorite shape? or jalapeno crisp lol. Gosh Blazie is soooo adorable!🖤 You seem so much happier and casual now a days. Was your lunch Devine(sandwich, crisp...natural bar)Great! There is no need to panic anymore to have spring rolls as a snack, heck NO! So proud of you Elzani 💜 and on top of that some spread, heck yaaas! 2)some spaghetti, I'm guessing for lunch, amazing dark brownies, yes very nice. Great job👍👊 3) oooh Bolognese this time, cooking is always quite fun, you do a great job at it, such a pro lol. 4) OMG! I've never been kayaking. Is it hard? Lots of arm work huh? You got the strength and energy. Nice filming by the way. Yaaas synchronized movement. Aaawww... Blazie. Oh wow! That meal looked amaze-balls (the falafel, tzatziky dish). You choose great combos in your dishes/meals. The bread is so soft and fluffy. Lol. Your sister seemed so irritated the whole time/day because of the end result of her churros lol. Nice BBQ, great! No fear and denial of carbs, NO! The churros looked ok..aaaww...ginks!lol! 5) Aaawww your cat(Leonardo)..hope he's ok. Nice outfit by the way Elzani. You look beautiful and amazing ❤️ of course. Always proud of you. Admirable woman. 6)oooh what's that? Baking a cake for Grandma huh? Chocolate of course. "What a shame" lol. You gots to lick the remains lol. 🖤💜🕊️💪 Yay for Leonardo. Yaaas, cake really late, the best way to challenge yourself and it's perfectly fine. Beat the fear even by having the larger piece.fuck yea! You matter Elzani! Hope you enjoyed it( the Victorian cake). Aaawww...your mom, she's so strong for pulling through the process of her own recovery...love her. 7) Windy outdoors, dang. Happy belated birthday 🎂 to your grandma. Chipos for lunch, perfect grandma lunch lol. She sounded like a tourist just there lol. I hope she loved her gifts. Yes, dinky chocolates. Dinner of pizza and other nice dishes at the restaurant. So proud of you for doing it. Lol...you sounded funny when calling Blaze, not in a bad way. how was the cake? Yes Elzani, make more baked good, you said you were. 8) oooh I've never been to a cavary. What is that called in the U.S.? It's almost like a roast buffet. Proud of you Elzani, you are amazing, your inspiring, so incredible, your doing it. Smashed it baby! End the day with some chocolaty desserts of course. 9) chickens sandwich for you🖤 keep doing it girl. The lasagna came out great and having the "big" piece is perfectly fine, yes you were fine, nurished, and we'll fed☺️🦋🕊️ your tummy was satisfied and so happy. Yaaas. So proud and happy for that. ☮️🌟🤗💪🥣🖤☺️👏🍦🍫🥪🥐🥜🦋☕💙👊🕊️🎶🍨🍰🤸🍝🍛🥂🏖️🎉🎁📷🎥🖼️🛍️🛋️👑🖤💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

[@tealdragonflys8243]

@Elzani are you okay? You haven’t posted in ages 😢 I hope everything’s okay with you and you’re family

[@toandeathrandomer]

Satara worries too much , they look fine and I bet she did good in her class

[@Amypj]

I love Satara’s cord jacket. Where is it from?

[@chloechristine5804]

The “churros) look like Dutch funnel cakes 😭😍😍😍 yum!!

[@elzani6744]

Chloe Christine super yum!!!

[@lumemaa7]

M&S whole grain seeded pittas-are the best! You should try them 😄

[@ilikeyoutube836]

Your cat is so cute!!

[@nanaimogirl2000]

Sitara don't be so hard on yourself. Look what you have done? Baked the bread and all the other hard work you have put in.

[@lieslcorremans5963]

Hi Elzani! First of all, waaauw what a motivation! You are such an inspiration , real 'goals' for me! :p secondly, a maby weird question... How do you do they do it in your country, are you in sick-leave and do you get money from the state? Are you just at home without health care money? Are you planning on going to collega or uni or work in the future? Was just interessted how its done in other countries. Here, you only get sick leave money /health care money if you are in hospital i think? that's why it is difficult to recover for me, i go to school full time (musical theater) which i love but is hard, and then i work as a teacher to pay for it. it's like i dont have time to start to recover.

[@amyelizabethhx]

you look so happy.

[@mermaidcrosser1944]

Satara is beautiful omg I wish I looked like her😩😍

[@cristinax6081]

8:35 I’m sorry but that is not enough. Think back to your holiday! It looks like you’ve just dissected everything. If you want to get better you need to keep pushing forwards and you’ve literally just stayed the same physically for the last year

[@susieleyens3641]

Hi Elzani could I ask what falafel where they that you had for your lunch, they looked really good...great video :-)

[@alishajane5065]

Keep going ❤️❤️

[@EmmyElle.]

I thought you said “mum is coughing up a lot of oranges” at the start and I was so confused 😂 turns out I’m just not a great listener 😭

[@Elliemination]

You look better now! Definetely healthier! #proud #recovery ❤️❤️

[@lilichan5320]

loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee🌠

[@FrancescaCi]

You’re doing good 😘 Only thing is why looks you’re eating loads of different foods and you did not gain any consistent weight? Sorry for asking just wondering! Big hug! 🌺

[@florenciasrecovery1551]

is satara ok?

[@theonethatgotaway680]

What’s up with Leonardo x

[@elevenbyfive]

FIRST *\o/*

[@cinnyslittlefriends1379]

Eleven By Five Congratulations!🎈🎉

[@elevenbyfive]

@@cinnyslittlefriends1379 haha thanks! :D

[@lucyc5134]

Can you do like a hot girl summer make over I love them so much , Emma chamberlain just did one , maybe do it with your sisters? Love you!! XxXx

[@labourerplop5034]

What’s wrong with your sister she almost looks depressed is she ok maybe she needs some me time with the family she might feels a bit left out and out of attention

[@selenatimmins4619]

The beach is just rocks?!

[@lolapoggg2037]

Selena Timmins it’s a pebble beach

[@cyco077]

Somebody with anorexia dont eat how you eat and the never eat fat things.if you ask it me it al fake (you like attention) You eat More than me