Overcoming Social Anxiety: 10 Life Changing Tips

[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswjIHPdUvXt0RrTP6afnrdDI&si=rXGcMCq5GcUaCzoZ ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@wingsly]

Thank you for all you generously share with us Doc Snipes. I learn so much from your excellent teaching and wise understanding.

[@DocSnipes]

You are welcome. I am so very grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video

[@sweethope8604]

I love both acronyms you posted especially the T.H.I.N.K one because adhd can make you say just about anything and everything and that should be reined in a little to only those things with new people and others. It can make your conversations way less all over the place and not bewildering to the other person who probably has a really hard time keeping up with all of it.

[@DocSnipes]

:) thank you. If you’re interested in videos on ADHD, you can find them at: kzbin.infosearch?query=ADHD

[@ranc1977]

Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships. Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs. WILLIAM GLASSER Controlling Habits: Blaming Criticizing Complaining Nagging Rewarding To Control Threatening Punishing William Glasser William Glasser "What's my Choice" Connecting Habits: Listening Supporting Encouraging Negotiating Respecting Accepting Trusting

[@RobustArid379]

Thank this goddess of kind knowledge

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video

[@ranc1977]

It is information about shyness, not social anxiety.

[@throughthevalleytherapy]

Yay! Another educational video to make me a better therapist 🙏🏽❤️‍🩹✝️👣🌄

[@DocSnipes]

So glad to be of help

[@ranc1977]

Unfortunately this is video about shyness. Not social anxiety.

[@nikosschoolofMentalHealth]

A veru informative video. Thanks for sharing. Anxiety,depression and mental health are very important to learn about in this present world.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video

[@a.a1309]

Thank you so much for all your work Doctor 🌸

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching

[@ranc1977]

They see us as timid, shy, weak, or unsociable. Fearing these labels, we try to be like others. But that leads to our becoming overaroused and distressed. Then that gets us labeled neurotic or crazy, first by others then by ourselves. The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron Learning to see our trait as a neutral thing-useful in some situations, not in others-but our culture definitely does not see it, or any trait, as neutral. Be careful about accepting labels for yourself such as "inhibited", "introverted", "shy" The Highly Sensitive Person,E. Aron "Sooner or later everyone encounters stressful life experiences, but HSPs react more to such stimulation. If you see this reaction as part of some basic flaw, you intensify the stress already present in any life crisis. This deeper processing of subtle details causes you to consider the past or future more. You "just know" how things got to be the way they are or how they are going to turn out. It can be wrong, but your intuition is right often enough that HSPs tend to be visionaries, more conscientious, cautious and wise people. It is important not to confuse arousal with fear. And often we think that our arousal is due to fear. We do not realize that our heart may be pounding from the sheer effort of processing extra stimulation. I really suggest trying to view it as neutral. HSPs must spend far more time trying to invent solutions to human problems just because they are more sensitive to hunger, cold, insecurity, exhaustion, and illness. Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about such things, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering. Spend enough time putting yourself out there in the world - your sensitivity is not something to be feared. Carl Jung believed that when highly sensitive patients has experienced a trauma, they had been unusually affected and so developed a neurosis. Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured. HSPs differ mainly in their sensitive processing of subtle stimuli. This is your most basic quality." The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron

[@laracraft82]

Great advice thank you so much ❤😊

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video

[@ranc1977]

Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. 🟨Janet G. Woititz Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval. 🟨Janet G. Woititz Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. Adult children of alcoholics over-react to changes which they have no control. 🟨Janet G. Woititz Codependents in general and Adult children of Alcoholics tend to expect others to make them happy. When I don't get validation, my victim mentality will kick in - because that's what Mum did. She would complain if not validated. Negative thinking is learned behavior 🟥Lisa Romano 10 Common Struggles for Adult Children of Alcoholics 1. Being rigid and inflexible 2. Difficulty trusting or being closed off 3. Shame and loneliness 4. Self-criticism 5. Perfectionism 6. People pleasing 7. Being highly sensitive or reactive 8. Being overly responsible... Adult children of alcoholics did the best they could do to survive as children. Their behaviors, coping skills and personalities were shaped by chaos and trauma. As adults their inner child is still exiled and terrified lead to compensatory. 🟥Doc Snipes

[@MistakenOno]

Great talk, so helpful.

[@DocSnipes]

Glad the video was helpful. Thank you for watching it

[@ranc1977]

9 Signs if Quiet BDP 1. You are calm on the outside but suffer on the inside 2. You have a high need for control, and hate uncertainty 3. You withdraw from people and shut down very easily 4. You mentally retreat or dissociate, as coping mechanism 5. You have an unclear sense of self, resulting in low self-esteem 6. You always blame yourself for everything, and self sabotage a lot 7. You avoid conflicts and anger at all cost, and check yourself as not to offend anyone 8. You are extremely fearful of both abandonment and intimacy 9. You look 'perfect' from the outside, but deep down inside you keep on isolating yourself more - Quiet BPD subtype Also known as High-Functioning BPD One of the subtypes of BPD, people living with "quiet" or "discouraged borderline" live in extreme emotional turmoil because they don't show their distress. - not easily detectable - those with the disorder often struggle alone because they feel like a burden - common people-pleasing behavior - withdraw when upset - feel detached from the world to cope - fear of rejection and abandonment - fear of being alone - social anxiety and self isolation (Healthline, 2020) ; thebrightbabe - QuietBPD A person living with quiet BPD will typically internalize their emotions, which creates invisible feelings of turmoil that can make life extremely difficult. While quiet BPD is not an official diagnosis, the use of this term denotes a subtype of BPD that tends to turn symptoms inward rather than outward (which makes it less obivious). As a result of this, quiet BPD often tends to go undiagnosed, misdiagnosed as something else (eg depression, social anxiety, autism), or takes longer to diagnose because of the lack of classic symptoms.

[@sunset33533]

I found exposure therapy and mindfulness meditation to help. Escaping the thinking mind for a few moments each day is important. Books such as "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels teach nice mindfulness practices.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video

[@ranc1977]

Self help industry helps only to authors of their book and money profit from it, "advice" from self help leads to suppression of emotions - which ends up as mental illness. Dissociation mimics enlightenment. To be dissociated, disconnected from our feelings, often in the world can come across as being very healthy. Can even come across as being wise, and mature. We think of people who aren't suffering pain, who aren't in miserable places, who aren't depressed, grieving, not crying, not angry, always in control of their emotions, but real balance only comes as the result of process. 🟥 Daniel Mackler

[@tserenlkhamson]

Thank you so much,

[@DocSnipes]

You’re welcome. I am grateful for you watching the video

[@ranc1977]

Society highly values its normal man. It educates children to lose themselves and to become absurd, and thus to be normal. R. D. Laing

[@msaldanha4654]

Please do one video as to how to overcome Blood injection needle phobia

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. Overcoming a phobia of needles, such as those used for blood injections, can be achieved through a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) CBT involves changing your thoughts and behaviors to reduce anxiety. For instance, if you're anticipating pain when you see a needle, you're likely to tense up, which can make the experience more painful. Instead, try to focus on relaxation. This can change your behavioral reaction and make the experience less distressing. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques Mindfulness encourages you to be aware of the moment, not just yourself. This can help distract you from the anxiety-provoking stimulus. For example, holding a grounding object and focusing on what it feels like can help divert your attention away from the needle. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) ACT involves accepting that pain is a part of life and working towards creating a rich and meaningful life despite it. In the context of needle phobia, this could mean acknowledging your fear and accepting the temporary discomfort for the sake of your health. Exposure and Mastery Gradually exposing yourself to the fear-inducing situation and mastering it can also be helpful. This could involve mentally rehearsing the situation, seeing yourself going through it successfully, and building a sense of self-confidence. Changing Expectations Finally, it's important to challenge and change your expectations. If you've had a negative experience with needles in the past, it's natural to expect the worst. However, not all experiences will be the same. Recognizing this can help you adjust your expectations and reduce anxiety. Remember, overcoming a phobia is a process and it may take time. It's okay to seek professional help if you're struggling to manage your fear. Until I make a new video, you watch this one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqzpYCZnsqoarMsi=_s1RlpzRWCOkHgJ1

[@ranc1977]

Social anxiety is not phobia. It is trauma. Phobias are cured with exposure.

[@ranc1977]

Social anxiety is Complex Trauma. This means - social anxiety will be triggered by anything resembling the original trauma (angry people, ACoA ambient childhood, ACE). Anything ELSE than this - is not social anxiety. Alternatives are: - shyness - neurodivergent brain - schizophrenia - narcissism The difference is: Shyness: exposure will help, as described in this video. Shy people do not worry before nor after the event. When social event is without incidents - shy person will feel "cured" and they will never ever worry about who said what and what happened and what might happen the next time. Neurodivergent brain: Autistic people will appear socially anxious but their meltdowns are not related to triggers, only to processing data. Schizophrenia: when person is delusional and paranoid and data appears connected in weird and irrational way. Narcissism: impulsive BPDers resolve their deep toxic shame by attacking others, through Fight response and criticizing others. When other people leave them and reject them - they will experience symptoms which appear as social anxiety. And they will gladly label themselves as socially anxious since this makes them victim and they can attract empaths and HSPs in honeymoon phase before the abuse sets in. In 1990s CBT "experts" got Researcher Bias where they invited shy and narcissistic people to be evaluated - so results for social anxiety was based on misdiagnosis. True socially anxious person would never ever be valuated and go to doctors or any kind of exam - due to social anxiety itself. So CBT and DSM regarding social anxiety are based on misdiagnosis. Social anxiety is not fear of going to parties. And it will not go away with exposure. Analogy of social anxiety is being stuck in toxic job with mobbing and screaming and yelling and nitpicking and micromanaging and microaggression at hourly rate from everybody: customers, boss and colleagues - without exit due to finances. That is social anxiety. Being stuck in such social situation. Anything else is not social anxiety. These are all interchangeable: RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) = Social anxiety = Emotional Dysregulation = Complex Trauma = Toxic shame = After-effects of ACoA & ACE = After-effects of narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, mental abuse = Hypervigilance/hypovigilance = PureOCD = Unfavorable power dynamics = Trauma response = Trauma bonding = Neurodivergence = Spectrum, not binary thinking = Amygdala hijacking = Trauma triggers and flashbacks = being criticized for something you can't control = having high moral and ethical standards and enforcing them = someone random complains about our errors when we done superhuman efforts to avoid ALL mistakes which 98.5% percent of people never invest neither physically nor mentally = toxic person complaining and expecting us to know something for the first time without mistakes = Perfectionism = Protesting: someone toxic complaining without fair assessment and basing their protest on bias and prejudice and oversimplification = Protesting: trauma panic symptoms related in an attempt to express OUR OWN judgement and negative evaluation and holding criminals narcissists accountable for their crimes and hidden selfish agenda of exploiting others = Not conforming = Conforming (fawning) to unreasonable standards and neurotypical norms = Conforming to narcissistic abuser and psychopath who would punish us if we don't conform to their Coercive control, hidden agenda and manipulation and pathological lying = Being authentic true speaking the truth to fake people and toxic people who have hidden covert agenda to exploit others = being Agreeable (Big 5 personality trait) = being Open (Big 5 personality trait) = Being Neurotic (Big 5 personality trait) = being healthy, friendly and open to life and people = Attachment issues = Codependency = Listening to our gut feeling = Quiet BPD (PureBPD) = BPD Splitting = Inner critic = Imposter syndrome = Being exposed to Operant Conditioning of Negative reinforcement (rejection, cold shoulder) = Being exposed to Negative reinforcement Breadcrumbs hoping positive reinforcement will come instead = doing the best we can to avoid and mitigate negative reinforcement = Avoidance

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and for sharing

[@ioan_jivan]

Thank you. I'm starting a new job and I'll probably have to present some things to experts in their field so I'm quite anxious :)) This helped.

[@DocSnipes]

Congratulations on the new job and thank you for watching the video

[@ranc1977]

What happens when you are expected to perform perfectly right from the start? What happen when there is mobbing at that job? These all trigger social anxiety - and we never get advice about real issues related to social anxiety.

[@maryjanerx]

8:10 😂😂😂 i love your movie reference ❤❤❤

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video

[@ranc1977]

We need to accept our "negative" feelings, rather than avoid or repress them. Suffering and sadness are natural and essential parts of life, and important-they lead to psychological growth. ROLLO MAY (1909-1994) DK THE PSYCHOLOGY BOOK

[@RobustArid379]

❤

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching the video

[@ranc1977]

Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics - struggles with maintaining interpersonal relationships - struggles with codependency - impulsive or dangerous behaviors - anxiety and hypervigilance - fear of abandonment - conflict avoidance/fear of conflict - constantly seeking approval - struggles with authority figures - poor communication - struggles with emotional regulation - poor self-esteem and self-image, or constantly feeling "different"

[@MM-pk4xw]

Those that mind dont matter and those that matter dont mind 🎉

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching :)

[@ranc1977]

Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (when criticism hurts) - Being easily embarrassed - Heightened fear of failure - Unrealistically high expectations for self - Assuming people don't like you - Avoiding social settings - Perfectionistic tendencies What triggers RSD? Everyone's RSD triggers are different, but they may include: - being rejected or thinking you're being rejected, like not getting a response to a text message or email - a sense of falling short or failing to meet your own high standards or others' expectations - being criticized for something you can't control

[@maryjanerx]

I love the dress stuck in your panty hose stiry every time you tell it. I have had similar experiences 😂😂😂😂

[@DocSnipes]

Hahaha. Thank you

[@ranc1977]

If we could somehow end child abuse and neglect, the eight hundred pages of DSM (and the need for the easier explanations such as DSM-IV Made Easy: The Clinician's Guide to Diagnosis) would be shrunk to a pamphlet in two generations. 🟦 John Briere 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic ("The Laundry List") We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others. We became addicted to excitement. We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.” We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial). We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us. Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.

[@maryjanerx]

I have social anxiety, but only around people 😂😂😂

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you have social anxiety around certain people and I appreciate you watching the video

[@maryjanerx]

@@DocSnipes thank you for your sympahty

[@maryjanerx]

@DocSnipes thank you for this wording. I have social anxiety around males, both adult human men and child human boys.

[@ranc1977]

Secrecy, censorship, dishonesty, and blocking of communication threaten all the basic needs. ABRAHAM MASLOW