Healing Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style: Techniques & Tips For Transformation | HealingFa.com

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Ready to truly heal? The Healed & Happy online program is now OPEN: healingthefearfulavoidant.com/healedandhappy/

[@advaitakulkarni9799]

I really need to do this but the prices are real high. Like real. I’m a student n Indian can’t really pay 67k . It’s sad . But thank you for the video!

[@Annieqt]

OMG! I have the tapping meditation app and never thought that it could help me to heal from My FA attachment! I’m so glad that I watched this vidéo of yours! Thank you Paulien!

[@ImaginarySusan]

PAULINE! My first time meeting you. How coincidental that I am struggling currently with these challenges. The HEIDE PRIEBE videos on Avoidant Attachment have helped me make progress and I'm so grateful YOU popped up.! You are no😅w an official friend and mentor on my path to healing!😊 ImaginarySusan 🔥💜🫶🙏🌞

[@curdqueenbutterchurnesquir7263]

I sobbed throughout the entirety of two of your videos so far. Thank you.

[@ZetsubouBlack]

I don't know if anyone has ever told you that, Paulien, but you are saving a lot of souls here. Thank you

[@steffiyoung1]

I agree ... Paulien has been the only reason I've had hope in healing this. Her videos are so powerful and her approach so beautiful and gentle 💗

[@rawann1001]

Yes❤

[@jaemaxx]

11:40- 15:10 NOTE TO SELF Tapping sequence to be done daily

[@reshmaroselinemony6267]

Fear of rejection Fear of abandonment Fear of being unworthy and bad Also the fear of being unworthy of love because I am bad

[@Dreamweaver777]

She starts the exercise around min 11:45 for those who are returning daily to learn. Like me. You mention "girls" twice in your awsome talk. Men suffer terribly from this as well. Thank you for the video.

[@martinisawe6300]

As a guy I suffer badly with FA

[@niche_interest]

I fear feeling trapped, not being able to leave somehow (irrationally); screwing up my life, losing the stability I've built for myself. That's my core fear.

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

Yesss

[@teresa1710]

I agree ❤

[@ciaraskeleton]

Yeah fear of being smothered is another rational core fear. That's one of my big fears. The fear of having my autonomy taken, the fear of abandoning myself. But you have to face that and show yourself that you won't abandon yourself no matter what. So boundaries. Saying no. Staying engaged in all of your interests as well as socialising and being with others. Sounds impossible now, but you'll get there. FA attachment is a mixture of a lot of fears, handled via avoidance

[@samyasiddiqui3735]

Me too

[@bm5_5_5]

SAME

[@OBNfull1000]

Thank you for this. EFT session got me sobbing. I've been in a FA pattern with my partner and it's getting frustrating that I can't break it. Everything you said is what I'm going through. Feeling the doubts pushing away, hurting my partner, afraid he'll leave me the more I keep bringing up my doubts. I just hope I can heal from this soon because it's been so exhausting for both of us.

[@RozCamille]

I relate to this so much 😢

[@Stephmargeth]

Me too

[@nateo200]

Man I am not FA but this helped a ton! Not gonna lie I did feel some strong feelings :) I suddenly remembered doing this as a kid! Didn't think it was a serious thing.

[@Nicole_Riviere]

❤️

[@CazKing43]

How did it go? I’m just getting to know someone and discovered I have a FA attachment…I don’t want him to leave either 😢😢😢

[@anitachhun4145]

It’s so funny to me that everyone started sobbing during the EFT… I started sobbing even before that, just as she was explaining the core fears. Thank you soooooo much for this.

[@paulinax894]

Omg same

[@IKFKSwitch]

The minute I started with my pinky palm... and began to feel the discomfort due to my sensory processing disorder.... If I weren't on a lunch break at work, it'd be Niagara Falls. 😭😭

[@morehn]

I just turned 35, not married, and most of my friends got married by 24. I need some major clarity. Lots of fears and anxieties once I begin to discuss more than the weather with a girl. I like psychoanalyzing everyone and controlling my environment.

[@moulee7448]

Heyy just take one step at a time.I know it feels so exhausting and annoying many times.We will heal from this❤❤❤

[@thomasbrown3793]

I have a hard time making friends if I can't control my environment

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

It's so logical you psychoanalyze and try to control your environment. You just want to be safe. To be sure you won't get hurt. You long for connection, but at the same time you are really afraid to get hurt. It's so logical, AND you can heal this. Today there will be a new video out that I would love for you to watch. You actually have gifts that are now clouded by fear, but that you will share naturally once you heal. You are not behind, and you are not broken.

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

What is your fearbrain telling you will happen when you don't control your environment?

[@thomasbrown3793]

@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 That I won't be able to maintain any kind of boundary

[@LowEffortDoodles]

Honestly, I have just started watching your channel. But I'm so glad someone out there is helping Avoidant Attachment rather than just selling them like: " AVOID THESE TYPE OF PPL. THEY R BAD AT RELATIONSHIPS. BLABLA. ITS ALWAYS THEIR FAULT. NOT URS CUS THEY'RE AVOIDANT " so, thank you.

[@KelseaRoxOutLoud]

telling myself I’m good enough, that I deeply love myself, that I don’t want to miss out on things in my life because of these patterns always makes me sob. it’s so hard to believe that I’m good enough, but I know I am. thank you

[@nicolacabasvidani2510]

Those words are magical: "You can 100 percent heal this"

[@bm5_5_5]

Needed to hear this ❤

[@Compassion3333]

Wow! Words can’t describe how supportive, impactful and healing this all was! I balled my eyes out during the EFT with your words! If you ever feel called to do guided meditation EFT healing videos that would be absolutely heavenly !!!! Finally found out something wasn’t permanently wrong with me that I had no idea how to describe why I was the way I was!!!! You’re the most resonate person on this topic and it’s really supporting my healing and restoring hope to my process ! Thank you!

[@Afterword.]

Thank you for focusing on avoidants with compassion. That seems strangely rare. Some people seem to think avoidant = jerk. But that's not true. Jerks can be avoidants, but avoidants aren't jerks. I have subscribed and want to learn more. Your manner is so reassuring and... safe... that, well, until now I didn't realize how scared I really am. How I need reassurance too. I just express it differently. I have been moving more and more to healing from an avoidant style - even before I understood the term - but it's still there.

[@LindsayLohan1]

I’m happy I found your channel. I’m almost 27 but have never been in a relationship because I often ghost people after a first date due to my extreme fear of vulnerability and rejection, and it’s led to a really depressing loneliness. So I’m grateful that you’re providing free videos to help people with these issues. ❤☺️

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

So happy you are here, and I wish for you to be surrounded by love and support. You've always deserved it.

[@tinywhiskers30]

I recognize I am an avoidant but I feel like I have a fear of romantic emotions because I'm afraid if I get into a relationship that I might be accidentally settling for less, or that I'm gonna have to conform to what my partner wants for the rest of my life and that I'm trapped in it forever and I'm having trouble finding ways to fix it.

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

What you might be feeling is the fear of putting up boundaries and expressing your needs. Because when you have a belief that it is not safe to do that, or that you are not allowed to that, commitment becomes very black and white: you either have to completely conform and do everything the other person wants, or you can be alone and do what you want. There is a world of possibilities and opportunities inbetween, when you feel (more) comfortable voicing your needs and boundaries!

[@tinywhiskers30]

@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 Woah, thank you Paulien! In just one comment you gave me such a big realization. I think I know where to start to improve now, thank you so much for your advice!!!

[@joanamoreira250]

Thank you Paulien! You are helping me a lot because I've recently discovered that I have this attachment. Once I took the time to really think about my life I realized I had traumatic childhood experiences. I had a very emotional unstabled father that wasn't supportive of my achievements (only my mother would get excited for me), would forget to pick me up in school while I was waiting hours for him, would never ask me questions about my day or my life and would only talk about himself and many more things. You are not alone guys

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Ah I'm sending love to little Joana

[@raniaramadan3819]

I have the same father Plus He used to hit me , i remember one day i was bullied at school and i was in so much pain and he blamed me for being bullied! And he hit me so hard that my mums earning went off her ear while trying to protect me! That was about 2009 and it hurt as it was yesterday I now am facing huge intimacy issues and i have just discovered that i am that avoidant attachment and i need to fix this before it's too late🥲

[@millania2108]

I must admit I was so sceptical, after trying speech therapy and meditation, antidepressants and a lot of other things I was like: Alright this is most likely one of those "Buy my course to learn how to magically heal" videos but it certainly wasn't. I can't explain how peaceful I felt after EFT and I'm thankful for having some new hope I can heal. I will definitely watch your other videos soon, thanks a lot. :)

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

"Meditation" isn't something one can "do" or "try". It is the Pure state of Being. The Essence of what and who you truly Are. Om Shanti

[@mprub4]

I felt nothing meaningful during the tapping session but afterwards I did feel peaceful. I felt like I wanted to keep going. I think my body had a guard up but with repetition I hope I will start to feel more. Thank you for this.

[@tonywanders256]

Whoever you are out there: You deserve to love oneself. You’re allowed to receive love and to give love. I love you, Mr Universe.

[@KB-xs4cl]

That was a really great tapping session, Paulein. I definitely felt the tension welling up/triggers. Need to do a few more rounds. Thank you! ❤

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

I'm so happy it was valuable! Tapping is such a magical, powerful tool. Have you gotten around to more rounds? Let me know if you have questions!

[@Peaceout4337]

As a master EFT practitioner for about 16 years- you did a fantastic job and you are adorable! Great work !!!

[@Peaceout4337]

Also, please put that you tap on the description- I had no idea this was going to happen in this video and it was wonderful

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Ahh thank you so much, that's so sweet! I will, good idea!

[@asher0uw]

with my ex i realized later i was anxiously clinging to the stability of the relationship even though i was distancing myself from my partner by the end

[@dayuari4435]

I cried a lot after tapping and my heart beats so fast. Thank you so much!😊❤

[@yongzhang1148]

This video is absolutely gold. As a person who watched 10 self improvment videos a day not one has resonated with me so deeply. Seeing how this video has only gotten 76k views is just way to little for the amount of amazing information in this one video.I hope it finds more people who need it. And I'm so glad it found me.

[@Gemisnotmyname]

I always have had one foot in and one foot out of any relationships except my closest friends which feels alot more safer and more accepting..but having that one foot in and one foot out makes u always on the edgde..its always like..should i stay or should i leave XD its exhausting but I feel like the core reason for this is as FA we have been hurt soo many times in our life and its very hard to let anyone in. Ive found many times where i almost let someone in and then they do fucked up things which makes my brain go " u see...this is why we shouldnt do this" . For anyone dating a FA...be gentle with them..we are basically like an abused dog who just needs time and safety.

[@nicolewaltemate3425]

Another core fear that is super strong is fear of betrayal. That one is stronger for me than rejection

[@Holly-j7f]

Securely-attached person here and I just went through that with you so I would better understand what my girlfriend will experience and I'm over here crying now. What a beautiful technique. Love is so beautiful.

[@Terapie_Lesem]

You are a beautiful person yourself, learning how to understand your girlfriend who is struggling!

[@edlakota]

Jesus Christ Pauline, the depth and truth you speak about our FA lives is just staggering. Its so reassuring to hear someone explain all of the"weird" things we notice about ourselves and moreover the chance to heal

[@ImaginarySusan]

You actually should have Typed, Thank you as the first word. Thankyou, Jesus Christ... honest. We are.

[@Horeskat]

i am going for 12 month EFT therapy for my depression and anxiety... and it is working!!!! i am not cured :D and i need to see another therapist for talking therapy but i am so much better. i highly recommend it.

[@j_fitzu]

I love to read this because im really struggling with my Depression and Anxiety right now.

[@Skimmerlit]

I wasn’t expecting that to work, and I felt silly doing it, but I feel beyond relaxed now. Thank you.

[@aritranaruto]

I think you missed the part where I as an FA am overwhelmed by the closeness, and fear that my partner will cross our boundaries unabated and hurt me, and coerce me into something I couldn't accept.

[@butterchicken2328]

i cried during the tapping session ❤ really felt so relieved after it happened. Thank you so much!!💗

[@smOVERCOMINGITALL]

My husband is anxious-preoccupied and I feel like his reaction to things further feeds my fears.

[@ivanrychkov]

I tried to do this technique along with the video and after a couple of minutes I felt extreme relaxation and almost fell asleep. I felt no stress and muscle ache. Thank you so much! Even though I know stress will eventually return, I will be ready to work it out next time)) And thanks for the theory, this was exactly what I was searching for. Understanding that you are not alone and all broken is very important.

[@MOON-pe4jm]

It's so hard. I get so many random thoughts throughout the day that immediately make my heart start racing into a panack attack. Sometimes its something I can get stuck in for days. I want to heal. Me and my bf deserve for me to heal.

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Yes you do deserve to heal, and I see you being in this hard place right now. It IS hard. How are doing now?

[@theblackandwhitecate]

This is so helpful. I have saved this video to watch over and over. If you make more tapping examples, I will totally use them too. Having your voice to repeat after makes it easier to do. You have such a peaceful way of speaking.

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Ah thanks so much, that's so kind. I will put 'more tapping video's' on the list!

[@LeosBeats]

@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 please do! I broke down in tears doing this for the first time and it feels like a huge relief. I haven’t cried in years. Thanks so much for the technique looking forward for more!

[@MartinTheCoach]

Wow, the demonstration of the (Emotional Freedom Technique) was precise. Very straightforward.

[@ma.trixiafayeordonia1401]

Thank you. Cried a lot tonight. I've gone emotional. I felt like I was being held and safe... Thank you! ❤️

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Ahh

[@Jesslee222]

this was incredible wow thank you

[@meepmeepimajeep100]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aKqreoBpicd1jsk timestamped for the exercise. Thank you, Paulien

[@haja707]

Thank you so much for this! I just recently found out about the avoidant attachement, i always wondered what is wrong with me and why I am like this, this is helping me so much! Thank you!

[@nm0574]

I came across your channel and i noticed a lot of the things you sajd resonated with how i behaved and how my lady herself is and i asked for a break. Thats how i found you and then you feeling that "out of love" with your now husband and me feeling those doubts scare me out of wanting to commit. I felt... right to be here. Sure its while we are on break and i dont know if shell take me back after these two weeks. This is day 2 and day 1 was EXCRUCIATING. Today i think more rationally and im taking actual action to heal myself and, if possible, save my relationship. Shes amazing yet i know we have our own crap to work on. As long as shes willing to give me space and is willing to work on herself too, im confident. Doing the tapping and what you were saying is EXACTLY what was going through my head and i felt relaxed. I felt hopeful. I felt strong and stable. Thank you for opening a path and bringing awareness to not only the attachment style but a way to heal. You're awesome!!

[@destinybre2073]

I really hope you see my message. I tired this today and felt nothing for a couple minutes not even sure if it was working than I waited out of no where I started crying and I could remember the times I felt loved thank you !

[@mpumi6830]

This experience was so unexpected and so strange! This was my first time doing this and I broke down in tears. I appreciate this and will be adding it to my self soothing techniques. Thanks Paulien

[@adapv9584]

Thank you so so much for this video! You help so many people dealing with this. I'm deeply grateful. I also wanted to ask you if you could maybe do a video (15 max) where it's just EFT for FA . Nothing else, so we can use it in urgent situations..i think that would be really helpful. 🙏🙏

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Thank you Adamantia, I will put that on the list!!

[@skeeterskater5884]

Good video! Thanks On this journey as an avoidant voyager, I found that writing out a childhood autobiography was very cathartic AND will allow you to piece together themes that reveal themselves as triggers. I have found written Gestalt Rx to be very helpful to reprogram the broken record of childhood negative self-talk... See the book "Why We Pick the Mates We Do" by Anne Teachworth. IMHO, one needs both cognitive and visceral inputs to re-calibrate ones' emotions

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Absolutely! Thanks for adding this!

[@JimmyJamesMarquees]

You have no clue on what this means to me. 32 year old man who has been having a lot of issues in relationships my whole life. Im now truly in love for the first time in years, again experiencing these fears and I felt it is time to actually really try to fix this. And all your said at the start of the video really hit home. And then the tapping… I cried like a little baby 😅 Im seeing a therapist, reading books and now this video. I finally have some believe that I can actually feel love, which is honestly crazy for me to believe. Hartstikke bedankt Paulien ❤️

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Aw wat fijn dat je hier bent Jimmy :)

[@ancala4140]

Mind to share the books here Jim?

[@peacejoy3629]

What about the feeling of "being trapped" also trust?

[@EE-ut1wn]

I recently started dating someone I've loved for a long time, but I feel so fearful that it's hard for me to enjoy our time together. I worrying that im going to be to clingy, or not present enough for her. Part of me wants to go back to being friends because dating feels to raw and intimate that it hurts. I keep feeling my subconscious shut her out and push her away to protect myself from potential hurt even though I want to be close to her and I want to trust her. But at the same time I'm so afraid of letting her down. She asked me out first, but I still feel inadequate and unworthy to be with her. Trying to watch videos like this in effort to get better. Thanks for reading, and I wish you all the best.

[@trinoochoa-l6j]

I am on the opposite side of this. Although it doesn't feel good to be stonewalled, I can assure you, they likely understand why you are withdrawing, and if you trust them, they can help you through it all.. Also, they are likely a lot tougher than you think.

[@auraliax1323]

This is the 1st video i see of you & i cried so much, thanks for all of this♥️♥️

[@freekff6274]

I am a man, also from NL, I am already 46, I pushed away so many beautiful chances of a having a nice relationship, Allthough I want intimacy so much, I ‘chose’ to be single for 20 years, it is time to break the cycle. I told myself that maybe love is just not for me…. I think it’s nonsense now. Should I do this daily 3 rounds? Or just find out.. thanks!

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Love is definitely for you! It is your birthright :) Doing this 3 rounds daily might really help a lot!

[@brandonhemoi3853]

My second time tapping…and it always makes me laugh and enjoy myself. I feel better afterwards.

[@Awiemilyn]

I totally cried doing that tapping omg.. thanks it's been hard feeling lately.

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Ahh giving you a big hug! So good to release it

[@acostaleeann1]

I’m crying my eyes out… thank you so much..

[@prosperousandwealthy888]

I was a little skeptical but then I did it and I started crying. This was very healing thanks for sharing💝

[@goldenlioness5140]

Waow.. Tears was just running down att ease after the last two senteces.. thank you for opening Up this Door of nft to me 💜🙏

[@DanielBrouns]

I just had one of the most intense cries of my life. This was fucking wild. How often is it okay to do this?

[@Melow55]

I feel embarassed of everything ( my family,my relationships,my clothing, choice , everything). Is it because of FA style?

[@kellymorrell3508]

I enjoyed that exercise. I think I don’t love myself. 💔

[@ruggedlifejewelry]

How do you remain secure when the partner is dismissive avoidant/sex addict?

[@Trips2foods]

I dnt know what im going through.but im in a relationship and i dnt want to end it.but i get this pressure of ending it with no reasons.i still look ways if i can feel anything for him,or am i still in love with him or not and it is giving me anxiety and depressed

[@ConsciouslyActive]

Your such an amazing person you have helped me so much already and I just came to your channel thank you for being a wonderful individual ❤

[@alexking671]

I’m in a anxious - avoidant fearful relationship. I’m the fearful one. I worked hard to try and be secure in this relationship and We had a great two years but recently my anxious partner was unfaithful to me, she promised to be better and said she wants to be with me but now I’m spiralling down my old fearful avoidant ways and I don’t know how to stop

[@ConsciouslyActive]

Thank you greatly I’ve been doing it for around 2 weeks and it’s helped me so much already I feel connected with my partner a lot more you are a life saver and I’m continuing to work through my traumas and situations of the past

[@OfficialFloydboy]

As a Scorpio.. I feel many of us are naturally inclined to experience this. Amazing video, thank you.

[@tiaho-whetuford5338]

🦂🌞 to every dark aspect of you their is a brighter side

[@OfficialFloydboy]

@@tiaho-whetuford5338 I dig that 🦂🙏🏾

[@brianhoneycutt5938]

My mom is Scorpio sun Scorpio moon both squared by pluto and pretty dang avoidant. Hkwever my pisces sun libra moon dad was even more so, possibly due to being male and a military background with him and his dad.

[@Pinelliephe]

this attachment style is commonly picked up from childhood neglect and abuse, not zodiacs :/

[@googoolars]

Scorpio on 7H cusp, Chiron scorpio 7H

[@luissantiago5434]

Even though I was hesitant to try the tapping example at first I decided to go along with it. I can’t explain the sensation m, but somehow I started crying as I repeated the mantra. What an interesting concept. I’m happy to have bumped into this video.

[@billpetersen298]

If you have a loving devoted partner. They are also caught in this. I’m 64, and grateful to be able to hold my wife. But my body and soul, so desire her touch. To be complete, as one.

[@Fridagotestam98]

I actually felt so happy and couldnt stop smiling after doing that. What does this mean?

[@dearbrave4183]

I dont know what to make of this. Great info but when explaining EFT you sounded very unsure and hesitant about what you were saying. I noticed you were also dismissive of your own thoughts, almost even uncomfortable throughout the entire video

[@blooming-qc3xh]

I was hopeful when I started EFT, but I noticed that I get SO tired when I do it. So I have been putting it off because I cant even get through a full sequence before I want to lay down and take a nap or go to bed. Has anyone felt this? Tips?

[@TheLr4211]

Does it matter if you don't tap at the exact same places you did for every statement? I wanted to print off the statements for when I can't watch the video and follow along, but it is hard to include all the points exactly as it's done in the video if you aren't watching. Is the main thing that you are just tapping?

[@karinapassmore7809]

Hi I came your KZbin and I want to thank you for all the information is so clarifying. I have a question any connection with Fearful dismissive attachment and lost of direction (in a literal way)?

[@tammysims8716]

You look like Lisa Kudrow and are really pretty. Thanks 4 the video too.

[@everythingaboutnothing1559]

I've tried tapping 100s of times. It's never worked for me😥

[@vlatkaMP]

11.11’ on replay

[@SmallBobby]

Can we stop saying the word "woo woo" when trying justify a point you make in fear that people will dismiss and ridicule you?

[@irenenjeri8720]

I wish healing on everyone who is fearful avioidant because no matter how much you are loyal, and assure that you won't leave it will always be a barrier.

[@trudyvalkyr3005]

EFT starts at 11:47

[@debraward6012]

I’m just curious why you only address girls in your video? Does it not apply to men too?

[@liramotsohi7282]

There is no Powerful healer other than Jesus Christ, the great physian, there is nothing too big for Him. Once i surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, I began to heal, I began to see again, My true identity is now restored in Christ, 2 Timothy 1:7 God did not give us a spirit of fear but a sound mind, love and peace.

[@tiffanybornagain]

Amen!🙏🏾 ❤

[@sierrashaheen677]

Amen!!!

[@eilishbubbles1464]

wtf first time I thought this was bs but then I followed through and started crying after 2 seconds what the actual f-

[@caparzzo]

Tears got me by surprise in the eft exercise

[@ra4798]

I felt goosebumps all over my body and also yawning. Hope I will heal. Thanks Paulien

[@nikstar1313]

Thank you eternally Paulien. On the waiting list for 2022! On a mission (not time based obviously) to heal my FAAS- I was unfortunate to be born into this world in 75 to two narcissist parents who enjoyed tormenting each other (and me!) through their own inter generation trauma and too stubborn to “lose” as codependency was so rife in fear of being alone. As the high achieving straight A student and truth teller family scapegoat I am breaking this cycle and trying to not be too self destructive with my coping mechanisms re: the smear campaign happening as we speak. Never has one person asked me my side. I have a great Schema therapist who changed everything for me.. It’s just unbelievable and incomprehensible how much these family members WANT us to hurt due to their own issues, it’s sooo sick. So much for family means everything. I asked my mother once if she cares about my feelings and she replied with “to a certain extent” .. that’s what I’m dealing with. No contact 1 year and in ALOT of pain. Suicidal with no plan and very depressed and just so tired all the time. I feel that anxiety paralysis a lot and really accepting that I literally have no one. I asked why god wasn’t a woman at 6 and was in so much trouble for being inquisitive and kicked out of Sunday school. All my friends (I am 46) are toxic people (from way back in high school-30 year relationships- ALL very insecure people who deflect and project like my mother so I cut them all off within 2 years of finding out I was narcissistically abused and the FSG. They all want me to change back to the enabling fawner that I was. No way. I feel like I’ve just left a religious cult and learning how to even live and interact with people. I’m a writer and social worker who struggles a lot with self subjugation. My father drummed into me that I am a “nothing”. Those were his words for as long as I can remember. My mother was silent in seeing me being abused repeatedly and partaking in it too and actually blames me as a child for their issues! The hypocrisy! It’s a tough journey, I can’t believe how brainwashed I was. Lots of Love from Tasmania, Australia xx

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Gosh Nikki, reading this breaks my heart. You are amazing for breaking the cycle. You deserve peace, calm, and true unconditional love.

[@Angell_Lee]

Thank you soooo much! I sub to thank you, you are amazing xo I am an avoidant attachment, because of my childhood traumas. I love to heal myself :)

[@idraculaa]

Yes, FA - Halp, pls.

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Watch all the video's, I really hope they are valuable to you! You are NOT alone!

[@fleetingfootnotes9133]

Hey Paulien, the tapping in EFT kinda reminds me of vagus nerve stimulation. Ever looked into that?

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

I just did! I can see the resemblance. It seems that this only or mainly targets the vagus nerve, where EFT targets the amygdala and unconscious thought patterns. Maybe they compliment eachother? Thanks for pointing this out!

[@busyazn]

Thank you! 11:14 EFT start

[@stephanyg2208]

Your channel has been the best I have found in fearful avoidant attachment. You truly have a gift! Please do more video like this!!

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Thank you for being here❤

[@SunriseSpaASMR]

Thank you so much for creating this video. The technique was amazing, after feeling more relaxed I burst into tears lol. I adore your energy 🤍 thank you again.

[@lifeisbeautiful7047]

111 I've seen many videos on this topic, but this one ! Oh it hits so different !!

[@ASASASAS-x8n]

Where have you been my whole life

[@andythebro5811]

My brain has been working on social rank system, basically always analysing social status of peaople being inferior or superior, nothing in the middle. Have you covered this in any of your videos? thanks.

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

I definitely have! In multiple I think, but I'm not sure which ones exactly, since I haven't made a video specifically on this topic. '5 reasons why you get really annoyed with your partned as a fearful avoidant' might cover this a bit!

[@andythebro5811]

@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 Thank you,I find your content and solutions immensely useful and healing!

[@fredsifyable]

Ur video might have saved my life.. thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

[@googoolars]

Tapping at 11:45

[@Kira-bb6pt]

It’s hard bc the way I see it is if your own mother can reject you and both ur parents abandoning you, it doesn’t feel like i can trust anyone because my own parents did it so anyone will

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

I so understand this. What I needed to see to heal this is that it was never about me. It wasn't personal. It was just dumb luck that my parents were incapable and I was their child. There are so many people in the world who are capable of being loyal and committed. So I really had to make it not personal and choose to find someone who just had the capabilities, capacity and skills to stay.

[@snowcloudmxpuntodeventaenl30]

Thank you Paulina, as a fearful avoidant, I found this video helpful and I look forward to watching your other videos.

[@MaryPaulCo]

My arms felt so tense and heavy while doing this

[@rburudi]

❤ i felt relaxed after the eft, it was intense and it felt amazing! will definitely be doing this