People Who Are Angry At Society

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Full video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2XThoCebLesm68

[@josephstalin2829]

Thanks blud

[@Ron-op8es]

thanks for pinning

[@annnee6818]

I'm angry at society because it keeps voting for sociopaths and doesn't feel like it needs to solve climate change. My trauma is everything that's happened in the last quarter century. And I'm by no means alone. And I dunno how to fix that. If you have any ideas I'd be grateful, really like your work btw and agree with everything you said here.

[@jryce]

nice!

[@jryce]

​@@annnee6818The issue there may very well be societal. Like if people voted for candidates you preferred and worked towards addressing climate change, then your anger would be likely disappear.

[@vuelle9816]

Great to know, now I am becoming *even more self aware*

[@francescafrancesca3554]

Welcome brother. It's true and it's hard, but it's better than a self-defeating delusion. Taking care not always means to fight. Take care (: you already are in the right track

[@sakesaurus]

if you choose to accept the delusion, you can always become a great thinker that has a field day rationalizing his hate for women. Like Arthur Schopenhauer. The fact that he predicted the flow of european thought by like 50 years has to amount to something...

[@MalkuthEmperor]

Congrats on that. I do want to point something out tho. And you are probably aware of it already, but some anger and problems to come from how society is structured. Its not all about failed relationships, and just personal things in our own control. Some things are just beyond our control. For example, if you try and try and cant find a job, is that on you? If you are unqualified, sure, but if you are qalified, then how is that on you. You didnt chose not to be employed. So i suppose, i just want to give a friendly reminder that sometimes its both, and id say most of the times its both in some ways or others. Have a good day

[@duskshadow25]

I think a perfect counterexample of this would be the housing prices sky rocketing to the point where most people can no longer afford to purchase a decent house of their own, regardless how long they work. We have people that have full time job that are at the bridge of becoming homeless, and somehow this country was designed to continue to screw over these people. How do you expect these people not to be angry a a society that has failed them in the first place? We used to be able to afford a family of five and send three kids to college with just a high school diploma, buy a house, buy a car. Now you would have to work 3 jobs and it still wouldn't be enough. Society has failed us because we continue to allow greedy corporates to screw over people. House prices aren't worth that much to begin with, yet somehow it keeps increasing into the millions because corporates know they can get away with being greedy and they don't care whether or not it's screwing over other people. That's the problem with capitalism and private corporations. This is especially true for health insurance, tuition, and the list goes on.

[@guhrid4893]

I don't think this is so much anger at society as it is anger at Policy. Society didn't multiply the american debt economy, private equity's desire to maximize their investments into medicine and rented properties did by wildly raising prices. There are specific people and groups and things to blame, "society" is a very nebulous thing to be upset about. I think thats the point hes trying to make.

[@bluegamer4210]

Well its a start make people care and teach them about socialist alternatives

[@sankalpverma618]

Bro's been cuddling with snakes 🐍 💀💀💀

[@TAP7a]

Snakes are adorable unless they're venomous Then they are forbidden cuddles

[@nenyeo6090]

@@TAP7abut forbidden is best. Longing/desire lays in the forbidden 😂💀

[@montyi8]

Python looks cuddly

[@Alpostpone]

@@montyi8 Pythons love cuddles too. Nothing like a tight python embrace, a once in a lifetime experience.

[@jamiepianist]

@@AlpostponeNooooooooo

[@yasuke1709]

My issue with society is that just being born to a different family will determine if you need to work 12 hours a day with a 30 min break to survive or you find work a foreign concept that others do for you.

[@carlpanzram7081]

That is not something being done to you by others, that is just a natural circumstance, an artefact of the laws of nature, that we haven't fixed yet. Additionally to being a artefact of the way our universe works, it's also something pretty much everyone would like to solve, so, society should be your friend, because it's the only solution to this problem.

[@yasuke1709]

@carlpanzram7081 Considering there are vested interests that keep our society operating a certain way in order to maximise profits, I would have to disagree.

[@bumpkin8009]

Should we be communist then?

[@kitz6661]

@@bumpkin8009yes those issues wouldn’t exist or at least not as prevelent in a (well thought through and still democratic) socialist, communist or marxist society.

[@bubbleboy821]

That's life bro. Just do what you can to help others

[@keegs1163]

Alot of compassion here coming from gg he wants to understand why they have the pain instead of just proving that it isn't valid

[@RobinTheBot]

Knowing where you're screwing yourself was the #1 life skill i needed. I didn't have commitment issues bc society is shit and evil, I had no boundaries and let people define me for me. Society is genuinely to blame for much of my experiences, but knowing when to question that and knowing when my emotions don't match the problem has been humbling. Traffic being 5% slower isn't actually a big deal, even though I HATE it.

[@jryce]

that's great! aligning our emotions to true source of our unhappiness, anger, etc is a powerful step towards finding the real solutions that can actually help alleviate these emotions. I've been growing interested in mediation lately to try to figure out exactly that, like what building blocks or experiences have lead me to believe the things I do now

[@thinginground5179]

Yeah I know exactly where I screw myself

[@wedomusic9451]

The thing is - you are part of society no matter what. So you have to act at least to the minimum standard by following societies rules. If you really cant handle it, join a monestary or something.

[@RobinTheBot]

@@wedomusic9451 what a non-sequitur statement that has nothing to do with anything I said! I'm sure you were very proud of... Whatever you were trying to do.

[@rajkorlash]

This is true for everyone, not just people who are angry. People who think society is just peachy and only individuals have problems that need to be addressed ALSO are doing so based on their experiences (and usually fear).

[@barabara7041]

Heard many stories of traumatizing mothering from this group as well, demeaning behavior or complete lack of boundaries, it could ofc arise from any close relationship or perceived close relationship that impacts you. Very sad. This group also needs a lot of support to heal, but it can be hard to get in position to help.

[@NoirRaven]

Not all of them are traumatized. Most of them are actually spoiled by their moms. It warps their perception of what a woman should be and how they should act around one.

[@zengara11]

no to both. Usually it is exactly as this dude is saying. A woman did something fcked up in her youth, to a dude. And that dude is now red pill.

[@CD-tj3hg]

On an interpersonal level I 100% agree, however in the grander scheme of "society" the anger and frustration people have boils down to a lot more than just personal experiences. In this hyper-capitalist world we live in we're seeing the results of greed, violence, and conquest taking a toll on everybody, and when it's so prevalent in the world it's going to take a lot more than changing ourselves to change the systems around us that screw everybody (who isn't some billionaire) over.

[@justahedgehogwithinternet6963]

He wasn’t talking anything about capitalism, and you’re just pushing your own agenda.

[@Narwaro]

I overwelmingly only had positive experiences with people in general and especially women but this society is still a steaming pile of garbage nonetheless. Build strong relationships and contribute to your own small society.

[@benrex7775]

That's the best take on this topic and it also represents my situation.

[@slimeinabox]

Wow this is the first time I’ve heard basic info from him. “Your opinion is formed from your experiences” “Negative experiences lead to negative feelings”

[@reinaldomartinez13]

A lot of people lack the basics my guy

[@aheenobarbushenocied9880]

​@@reinaldomartinez13💯☝ Common sense is not that common.

[@TheGreektrojan]

He hit a lot more of the 'basics' early on for obvious reasons. One of the problems in the 'self-help' space is that people consistently look for novelty and epiphany type moments but eventually we know what we know and the work is. Guru-hopping is very common from people who always need new insights. If you are new to his content, then you've been more exposed to more edge case stuff/alternative approaches than the 'common stuff.'

[@ninjycoon]

​@@aheenobarbushenocied9880 Is it really common sense if it isn't common?

[@bryanfongo327]

Not everyone is as good at introspection as we are, it's obvious information to us but he is not saying it for us he is saying it for the people who need to be told that

[@kdjourney51]

Great points. Bias and addiction to self pity is something we have to be aware of.

[@DoubleBassX2]

When the problem seems like it's the rest of the world it can feel hopeless. This is such good news to find out that I might actually be the problem... _that_ I can change.

[@carlpanzram7081]

It's not even necessarily you that is the problem. It's your reaction to the problem. Like, dangerous spider are a problem, but hating and being terrified of spiders or insects in general is just ANOTHER problem, and not a constructive way to deal with dangerous spiders. You could actually deal with dangerous spiders reasonably, while not suffering under a irrational fear or hatred of spiders/insects. If you suffer under a hatred of men for instance, it's much more reasonable to realise that it's only a very small minority of men to be afraid of, and that you can protect yourself from dangerous men without having to be convinced that half the planet is out to abuse you.

[@ImHungryHi]

While it is true that I’ve had traumatic experiences growing up, my displeasure with society is more about ppl destroying what’s not theirs, stinking, acting disgustingly or being purposefully rude to anyone.

[@carlpanzram7081]

You must realise that it's not society that destroys things it's certain individuals that make unethical decisions. Now, you might say that certain parts of society enable those decision to be made, but the reasonable response here is not to hate society, but simply to want to improve society. Like, you society is all in all probably a good thing, it's just not perfect. It has flaws. You can focus on solving these flaws. Wouldn't you rather be constructively trying to improve what is wrong instead of self loathingly complain about stuff? Like, "I hate my house because the roof is leaking." is stupid. You shouldn't hate your house, you should work on fixing the roof lol This way you can love your house, which is better for you.

[@ImHungryHi]

It's a bit difficult to convey my actual intentions over text, however I don't mean society as a whole is bad. It's not me not realizing anything. The people in society more often than not will be the destructive factor. The fixing your house instead of complaining about I can agree with... to a point. While I do try my best to improve society and everything else I encounter (it's literally my way of living, the boyscout rule), it's fruitless to expect society to be any better for it as others are doing the exact opposite. So, what I mean is - expect the worst, hope for the best. That is not to be mistaken for treating people poorly, far from it as basic respect should be a given in any situation. I also want to make clear that this isn't me complaining about society, but simply how I see it and to give an idea of my own expectations and indeed experiences in response to the topic. I see complaining in itself as something to avoid even in the worst situations.

[@bumpkin8009]

Disliking bad things about society is more than fine. Just don't form opinions because you had a bad experience like it says in the video

[@ImHungryHi]

You talk like forming opinions is a bad thing. It's one thing to form an opinion, it's an entirely different thing to tailor your actions to them. Like I said, everyone, no matter what, should be treated with a base level of respect

[@georgep.4145]

fixing society wont make me better, but it might prevent another person going through the shit ive gone through, and thats the whole point

[@benrex7775]

Fixing yourself will help you creating an environment which is better than the rest of society. And if enough people do that then society at large will be influenced too.

[@salt-d2032]

@@benrex7775 What do people need to fix about themselves?

[@benrex7775]

​@@salt-d2032 I think the biggest problem is the dependence on government and big corporations. So anything which you can do to reduce that dependence is a plus. Here a few examples - Getting closer to self sufficiency for food and other necessary things. - Creating a social network which can help each other instead of relying on some large institutionalized organization. This may be about repairing stuff, taking care of the elderly, taking care of children, teaching children. - Getting a healthy lifestyle (food, fitness, mental health) so that the amount of needed medicine of any kind is reduced. - Having a family where the children are taught proper values. - Investing into your neighbors by helping them and by creating local events. - Stop supporting anything that is from a big organization. Be it media, stores... - Using cash instead of digital money. Those are just some examples and not all are equally feasible for everyone.

[@Orangutanfella]

Well said

[@lenk172]

​@@salt-d2032People are not saints by default, you can always be a better person.

[@vanbovice]

This really helped me it's hard to internalise these things for most people thanks

[@LoveAnimeLikeCrazy]

As I have said before I don't like hook-up culture and I fear deceit. My lack of interest isnt for any particular gender, decent people are hard to find

[@MajorLeagueTenacity]

True all of this comes from individual subjective experiences. But if a majority of the population is having the same subjective experience, then it’s definitely coming from society.

[@kasanebaxter3064]

Conversely, if the problem stems from society, no changing of the self will fix it.

[@brycejohansen7114]

"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." - Gautama Buddha

[@justaweeb14688]

This is why you act on it

[@JohnDoe-pc3uk]

@@justaweeb14688 Your feelings follow your actions. Violence will not lead to less hatred.

[@justaweeb14688]

@@JohnDoe-pc3uk who said that it will?

[@ric6611]

@@justaweeb14688 If you want to most likely make it worse for you, sure

[@christerjakobsen8107]

@@JohnDoe-pc3uk If it doesn't lead to less hatred, you didn't use enough violence.

[@ninjycoon]

This is only true in certain circumstances. Not all. I'm guessing that's better context in the full video. Society is often what causes the trauma in the first place. Yes, the individual must take responsibility for the mess inside themselves, but it's important to recognize that they did not necessarily place the mess within themselves. We need to take a two pronged approach to solving these problems. Which is to improve the self and society. You can't expect one to improve without the other. They are inherently tied to one another.

[@Quebonitoeslobonito123]

I think he’s trying to point out to these people who tend to be sexist, that the problem is not women as a whole, but rather one or some women who hurt them.

[@Vitorruy1]

You can improve yourself without improving society as a whole tho. We tie our personal well being to "society" (really an abstract, bullshit version of the real society) then complain that it keeps dragging us down. The best option is to cut those ties, not lighten the load.

[@IsraelCountryCube]

​@@Quebonitoeslobonito123what about the sexist women? I must say you must see how women always want it to be about them. Ive doubt youve got a problem for the majority of males whos legs are blown off which is more horrible than a woman being raped i didnt wanna say this but yea h whatever everyones pissed off on this platform everyones Hates each other if incels hate women then feminists hate men there i fixed it

[@lenk172]

Improving yourself in any meaningful way not only improves society but is actually the only way to do so. All society is is a group of individuals after all. You don't change it by somehow imposing your will on everyone else. You can make things better for yourself and those immediately around you, and by example influence others to do the same.

[@NMahon]

​@@lenk172that's fine but what if your society is governed by a select few who retain the power and decide how you can live in a material and legal sense.

[@TheFirstRoyale]

I would agree except it's pretty easy to see how society and it's shortcomings feed into every problem you've had, have, and will have. Like just the fact Machiavellian people are drawn to power has caused me and others more trouble than I could ever cause for myself.

[@Thunderfro]

There are cruel cruel women out there. My girlfriend of 10 years betrayed me and became emotionally abusive. I know there are a lot of good women but I’m glad I never married her.

[@coniferous4637]

The more I learn and hear other perspectives the more life feels like a vapor to me. That all these “battles” we fight are entirely beyond us. It makes me feel as though the complicated things are truly and perhaps entirely outside of our control. It almost makes life simpler though, because it means you have to think about fewer things. What will you dedicate your life to? What will you try next? What can you remove from your life? After you have yourself figured out and your routine established, a lot of the work that’s left to do is the stuff that’s so nebulous that progress can’t be made. And the social aspects of our lives encapsulate this the most by far. I believe anyone can make friends and have positive relationships with the people in your life, but closeness is necessarily complicated. I feel as though all that can be done is to open yourself up, pursue the best version of yourself, get out as much as you can, and hope for the best. But it seems unhealthy to feel as though you need a relationship or close friends. Because ultimately it’s far beyond you

[@FlingGibstopper]

Life is a show created by the universe, simply to cure the boredom of empty space. There's no reason to over think, or over complicate your own existence.

[@elio7610]

We never had any control, it is just an illusion. All of our actions and thoughts are just as much governed by cause and effect as anything else. There is no moment where we ever really choose anything, just like how a rock never chooses to fall.

[@benrex7775]

After reading your comment I think you would really love the book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible. I don't know if you are a Christian or what your opinion is on the Bible, but even if both answers are negative, I think you would enjoy reading that one. It is pretty short and you would resonate with that one a lot.

[@Lostenoch]

I could feel myself slipping into that mindset after my last breakup. It's taken two years to recover

[@cryeordie]

I typically agree with Dr. K, but this trivializes the legitimate critiques of declining societies across the world. The pain caused by ruined economies, parasitic politicians, and cultural disintegration is very real. The natural and indeed correct reaction that many have had to then hate their societies does not all stem from trauma with women. I say this as someone who has been professionally and academically successful, so my critiques would not be the same as incel/redpillers, but nonetheless I think as a whole it is stupid to take a reductionist stance toward the loss of societal bonds.

[@FlingGibstopper]

It doesn't really trivialize those critiques because they are talking in the context of self improvement and mental health for young men. And any educated or mentally stable person can easily tell that all the angry incels, red pill "alpha" nerds are deeply troubled with themselves. No amount of utopia will cure them. (Unless they lived in their OWN utopia, which would probably just be bringing back slavery, putting women beneath them, and over all psychopathy)

[@devilsadvocacy]

When society keeps shitting on you from multiple directions, it isn’t just trauma from failed relationships with women that make you mad at it. Rejection from women is one thing, but not being able to succeed in any other important endeavor (eg career, friendships, meaningful pastimes) is what leads to men indulging nihilistic thoughts. I hate to use a work of fiction as an example but the movie “Joker” made the point really well. Thank you for the best answer in the entire section

[@Sebastian-jo7bn]

Honestly, it feels like he's had a lot of misses recently.

[@Aladius]

It's easier to reduce a problem and blame It on a group than solving It(we have many examples of that, but we can use germany And their blame of a certain group in their group for their problems in WWII.),after ALL, How would we solve The problems of today's society? We have, Just to name a few: Destruction of cultures- social media pushes The internet culture on smaller, less influent countries(you need to own This much, you need to be like This, you need to know ALL of this, or you're a loser, nevermind building meaningful local cultures) Global loneliness- we are The most connected generation This world has ever Saw, but we are The one with The most mental health issues, loneliness And prejudice. Masks over morals- while yes, people always used social masks to hide their true selves, now with The internet people can lie to themselves easier, thanks to the Quick dopamine hits. Money gap- you don't have a cellphone, social media or even a growing Channel? You are invisible to most people. And that's only a few.

[@thomas.thomas]

people have been living in way worse economic or social societies and didn't all turn out to become full of hatred tho

[@gregg.617]

Damn, this just woke me up out of some serious societal hate. Don't get me wrong, I'm still not a fan of current society, but he's right, I never thought about what experiences I've had that make me feel like this

[@davidaugustine3686]

Pray tell, what's wrong with society?

[@ahmedrizwan7235]

If I have morals ( not sleeping with everyone woman I come across, alcohol, gambling) and I want a woman with similar morals but see the opposite everywhere everyday would I be justified in hating society? If there's nothing for me in society then obv I won't like it

[@ahmedrizwan7235]

@jaumartinez9006 it's not upto ppl to hold up society by themselves but we're allowed to hate it too I hate this bs ass job but I'm still working right. Some things u can't escape 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@nothingthere3959]

@@ahmedrizwan7235 Where do you see that every day? On tv? If you really get that in real life, then what about changing your social circle or places where you meet new people, maybe even moving? You can't interact with entire society at once, you see only what is near you/in your bubble/in that layer of society you are in at the moment. Also, it's curious how you ended up being surrounded by promiscuous gambling alcoholics if you aren't interested in that. What do you have in common with them?

[@badadvice787]

I usually end up pretty frustrated, irritated, and angry with things happening on a more personal level for me that directly affect me repeatedly cause by people who are supposed to be supporting me and or infringing on my ability to function and my rights. People who personally besmirch me and permanently effect my reputation or even things that go into a document record are things that can be hard to brush off when they have been influenced and partially caused by another person behaving inappropriately in a way that causes me to psychologically malfunction, begin to heavily disassociate, cause me a lot of stress and won’t just go away and are unavoidable. People who can’t agree that “It’s normal for sharks to swim in the ocean and not walk around on land in our current state of reality” (can’t agree upon facts that can’t be disputed and consider them to be opinions or just refuse to listen to basic explanations required to understand reality can be a problem when I have to use them for help or I’m required to be around them frequently enough. People refusal to communicate basic boundaries when I ask them about setting boundaries and they lie to me or act like it’s unnecessary and proceed to get upset and keep trying to interact with me as I avoid where they usually are and possibly solicit the behaviors that they don’t like possibly even after I explain to them what they are doing and they should probably stop are particularly bothersome. I frequently lack certain types of insight into social interactions, but I’m very observant of certain types of behaviors and particularly patterns if I spend a lot of time and effort trying to understand what is happening and why as I interact with people, that lack the ability to set clear boundaries. When I look at society as a whole I have a hard time getting angry more just disappointed, frustrated, but generally it’s a waste of time to focus on things without actually large scale implications on society in a damaging manner and then I just usually just have a good reason to focus on those issues for more than a conversation or if I just feel like posting something on the internet and don’t really care what people think, but I do have a tendency to share a lot of logic that have been listening to the information that I’m explaining even if they don’t agree with me it’s not too important as long as things aren’t made my problem or harming people who are vulnerable even if it’s not myself. I have tendencies to stand for ethical treatment rather then myself and proceed to collapse in my ability to function with the possibility of people trying to attack me using established rules with consideration or accommodations for my difficulties, because they are upset. I get told that I might be projecting myself onto other people, but I have enough experience and conversations to know that I pick up on a lot of things that other people don’t or aren’t aware of, while being blind to a lot of other contributing factors and things going on. I’m an incredibly unbalanced and dysfunctional individual who they try to put into a cookie cutter, because they forced me to stay alive when I was born and kept me alive like a laboratory rat when I was born.

[@andrewhall9739]

Material conditions determine human nature

[@MrKicksBeats]

He's got some great points however my growing distain for society comes from things such as the cost of living and how little the government does to try and fix it, How disloyal and shallow people are nowadays plus everybody being out for self. The government looks out for themselves and so do most people.

[@SaikumarGopu-il9qx]

That last point sounds like Any man who tries to be good all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great number who are not good.

[@Qwerali]

I have this very serious trauma called growing up poor. It's a very unfortunate condition. I shake my fist everyday at the IRS who knows how much we owe but makes us file anyways, and at credit card companies who scam us, and at the ever increasing inflation and cost of living despite the unchanging wages. Such a terrible condition it is. The truth is society and life aren't fair. That's the fact of the matter. Some people are born never having to worry about money and health, and some are born spending every single day worrying about getting just a single handful of water. You can shake your fist or complain, but the fact that it's unfair won't change. Good people will still get terminal cancer. Bad people will still win the lottery. Accepting that it's unfair and that you can't do anything is growth, but denying that it's unfair fundamentally is ignorant

[@lisarox4221]

"Mankind knew that they could not change society so, instead of reflecting on themselves, they blamed the Beasts."

[@Number_5]

And people who don't see any problem at all within our societies are usually privileged people who benefit from inequality. To me the right path is to be a conscious critic, to see both the good and the bad, and not to focus only on the good or only on the bad

[@Number_5]

@@Dimitris_Half Do you only think about sex? Nothing else crosses your mind when you read what I wrote?

[@Number_5]

@@Dimitris_Half Has coping ever solved any of your problems ever? It may help you endure stuff, but it doesn't really solve anything. What would have happened to the black people in the americas if they only ever coped and never tried to change society and how they are viewed by other people? That's just the easiest example that came to me. A more personal example is that I used to be depressed and very unhappy as a kid, so I used my time and effort not only to cope but to actually change my situation.

[@Number_5]

@@Dimitris_Half I don't see your point and I don't think we're on the same page here because I'm not coping with anything

[@Number_5]

@@Dimitris_Half yes, of course I wouldn't see your point because it is really hard to have a real conversation when the other people involved are monosyllabic and don't contribute at all to the discussion. If you don't want to speak and be understood then you shouldn't speak at all

[@Number_5]

@@Dimitris_Half Well then at least you know how bad you are at communicanting

[@xyoyoman831]

Charisma of command?! Never expected this crossover lol

[@hadisoufi7752]

The limitations of a therapy/self help approach are revealed here. Social problems require social solutions- individuals are highly adaptable, and a therapeutic approach may help *some* people be happier when faced with social/systemic problems. However, more people will continue to present with issues stemming from these systemic flaws, faster than you can hope to heal them.

[@pitypot4959]

I'm not angry, I'm just extremely cynical. Society absolutely caused it.

[@PrisonPocket]

Im angry because i hate being forced to be something

[@physicianskitchen]

What are you being forced to be

[@olivers.7821]

There are definitely different levels of how societies force stuff but not everything is being "forced" even if you feel like it is. An example where society might for someone is sexuality. In a mostly heterosexual society it might happen that people who aren't heterosexual will be pressured to have a partner of the opposite gender or get persecuted for not doing that. This would be a real example of force. On the other hand, groups that fight such discrimination aren't forcing someone to be not heterosexual but instead let people who aren't heterosexual be free from the pressure and persecution. This however is seen by some people as "force" and those are then the ones who have had negative experience and therefore have a negative reaction even though society doesn't cause a threat in this regard. Those people claim they are "forced" but aren't. That's why there are different levels of being "forced" of which one is imaginary, which this psychologist has spoken of in this video.

[@donjuan3296]

@@olivers.7821 You're definetly forced to pay taxes and comply with the law.

[@elio7610]

​@@Dimitris_Half You misunderstand. People do not feel like society is forcing them to be a lazy shut in, they become a lazy shut in to escape what society is demanding. The moment you try to live a public life and get a job is when society puts the most pressure on you. Staying inside and unemployed will instead just lead to most people ignoring you. Being an unemployed shut in is the way people avoid being forced to be something, it obviously is not ideal though.

[@minerpvpgaming2160]

@@donjuan3296no ur not, u can go to another country or u can go to jail, u have 3 choices

[@daselfcharmer]

When i was a kid these two girls about my age and younger chased me around my own house with a knife and beat me. But it's nice to know I don't truly hate women. It just sucked to still feel.

[@daselfcharmer]

@@Dimitris_Half nah women are just allowed to do whatever they want if they feel like it and if they know they'll get away with it. It's hilarious honestly

[@daselfcharmer]

@@Dimitris_Half thats where I'd rather keep shit to myself. I never told anyone properly. And i half told it to a family member, but thats like where I'll stop here

[@daselfcharmer]

@@Dimitris_Half haha yea

[@casper1343]

​@@daselfcharmeru r just being weird now u didnt tell anyone but also wanna complain abt how women get away w everything also pls tell me howd u get away w o being murdered

[@daselfcharmer]

@@casper1343 i know the way i think isnt reality, but its some irrational under the skin feeling about people around me. No shit its weird. But its cool because things arent actually the way i tell myself they are.

[@alloraptorgen2]

I think I am someone like this. But I am trying to understand myself still. But at the same time I am still angry at so many things. A lot of time at myself and what I am doing, or have done, or what I did not do. I’m hard on myself and try to hold so many other things to a high standard but idk. I’m just tired…

[@bumpkin8009]

If you're hard on yourself you'll become overly critical for your mistakes and since people tend to use themselfes as a reference point you'll become judgemental and perfectionistic to others and yourself. This is my experience cut yourself some slack, you should be your #1 priority not the last. You deserve to make mistakes and these mistakes are not who you are and shouldn't indicate self worth!

[@alloraptorgen2]

@@bumpkin8009 thank you. But I have also taken this into consideration. Thought about it a bit. And thought I don’t disagree. I have no idea how to change that about myself. I carry so many failures with me. Namely a select few that have effectively me heavily emotionally more so than anything else ever have. And I’m always anxious about failing in any aspect.

[@JonathanSwift-h2t]

If you get beat up everyday at school & adults watch this happen with no consequences. Almost positive that this will result in hate, this experience can be changed for many if society didn’t only care about some & not others.

[@gametheus1306]

If I were a red pill person, this would be an awesome shift in my paradigm toward societal issues. But nah, I’m autistic, and I have every right to be upset with a world that wasn’t built for people like me, and refuses to accommodate people who don’t fit into societal norms. Idk I feel that’s fairly justified, not that I’m stewing in hate for the world or anything but it is upsetting

[@SarahDale111]

Projection is perception!

[@nom_nom3448]

I‘m an AFAB nonbinary person but this does make sense to me too regarding men… Had a couple traumatizing experiences with men and now I constantly go back and forth between trusting my gut feeling and run/be on high alert or to tell myself that this man is not a predator and to chill the f out

[@r.lum.r]

Dr k is so great

[@dopex89]

We should work on both things, if you are feeling debilitating anger and hatred, work on yourself. But anger at an unjust society can be productive, as long as you are self aware enough to distinguish between what is a personal trauma and what us objective injustice.

[@amandamariegoldstein6309]

What a lot of people don't get is that if we focus our efforts on building ourselves into healthier & happier individuals, then society around us will automatically become better.

[@bumpkin8009]

There are reasons to hate society but in this short he explained why bad experiences often make a sort of inflated hate, obviously it still has negatives

[@striderman-]

Fear leads to Anger, which leads to Hate, which leads to Suffering.

[@xannax5052]

I love this man ❤ he is so good at his job

[@nenyeo6090]

In the context in which he’s depicting this concept of anger being associated to you, instead of society, it makes sense. But when you think of it farther and start applying it to other examples, it doesn’t hold much weight. Rape, racism, pedophilia, and much more aren’t things some people have to experience in order to be angry about it or vow to see those injustices being rectified. So, I have to disagree with this one. Granted, that doesn’t change that you’re right. Most of our experiences with life is what causes us to take a stance for/against an ideology or an injustice.

[@benrex7775]

He talks about incels and redpill. And for them they also talk about valid problems. Divorce courts, dating apps causing very superficial dating requirements in women, which makes that only the players can have women, men being dumped on in all of mainstream media and entertainment... Some men hold those views because of bad experiences while some hold them because of their observation skills. And in most cases it is some mix of the two. After all it is very nice to live in an illusion, as long as things work well. So it often needs a bit of a hick-up for people to start looking at the problems in society.

[@bumpkin8009]

He isn't discussing social problems... he basically says don't let past emotions alter the way of how you think about a wider group for example. It has nothing to do with corruption, rape or anything of that sorts, that's it.

[@benrex7775]

@@bumpkin8009 Theoretically you are correct. But while making the argument he throws two groups of people under the bus by stereotyping them into their mainstream depiction even though that stereotype is not as one-sided as many think and as he portrayed in this video. That is what nenyeo is responding to.

[@kikitauer]

I am angry at society because it sucks and so many people suffer as a result of it. I have my fair share of trauma but this is different. I didn't hate people all my life, only since I started reading news and realized that people are absolute deplorable pieces of 🤬. The only hope I have atm are people like Dr. K and that I will be able to put myself together despite my chronic pain and disability and do something as well. I have already given up. I am now having my bonus time.

[@det_tf2]

I'm not trying to minimize your experiences, but it's important to realize that your reasoning is biased as well. If someone is an absolute lowlife, worst-of-the-worst, disgusting person who does horrible things, they make the news and people learn about them. The people seeing those news stories don't learn about the 1,000s of other people around them who wake up, go to work, pursue their hobbies, and live their lives like the upstanding people they are. By focusing on the bad, you can fail to realize the amount of good that exists within society simply because the good things are considered normal.

[@claudiabcarvalho]

It's not about human nature, it's about certain systems that potencialize our worst. If you live in a society that categorizes people as losers or winners, people will normalize injustice and inequality.

[@DamianSzajnowski]

Infinitely more people get supported and even enabled to live thanks to the modern society - your perception ks definitely valid but skewed. Many people wouldn't be able/allowed to survive even 200 years ago that get support nowadays.

[@Precipiceofwind]

@@DamianSzajnowski no

[@shaunsensei6948]

​@@DamianSzajnowskifr

[@Imperial_Squid]

This is why Don't Care Crown by Fox Stevenson is one of my favourite songs Alright alright, worry keeps you up all night Could just be a problem with the things you keep inside your mind I get that it's hard to find recipes for living right Maybe take a seat and I'll tell you how it goes We can never know everything everything So I've been letting go everything everything Relax and rejoice cause you can't change a thing Disappointment is a choice that's the thing, that's the thing

[@human78631]

To everyone saying "what about [grave systemic injustice]?", I don't think that's the target audience for this particular clip. I get that putting it in the title might hurt the purpose of it but I have to say I fell for it - can only blame myself for going from "huh, is he really gonna defend the status quo??" to clicking the vid, to going "ah, he's addressing those types again..." But I'd wager the actual, longer video is well worth a watch. I'm very queer and way out of my depth with how straight men see women, or "society" in general, but I'm getting a better picture of the why. It's a whole lot of work... Either way, Dr K has been quite helpful to me in untangling past trauma.

[@majesticfalcon6402]

I agree, but he also shouldn't have said "most people who are angry at society" if the group he's talking about is a non-random subset of the people who are angry at society. the opinion is presented as more generally applicable than it is, which irks me

[@MaximusChivus]

​@@majesticfalcon6402 I'm guessing it's a context issue with the clip, it happens unfortunately often

[@majesticfalcon6402]

@@MaximusChivus tbh i think if clipping a certain part of the content destroys the context to the point that it messes with people's ability to understand the concepts that are being talked about, it just shouldn't be clipped

[@IsraelCountryCube]

​@@MaximusChivusnah he assumed "iNcELs" are 70% which is a majority btw.

[@carlpanzram7081]

​@@majesticfalcon6402What you are doing honestly seem to be trying to defend your irrational believes about society. Like, you seem to try and defend your hatred for a group of people.

[@XIIchiron78]

The societal need to harass and belittle the disaffected is disturbing to me. We have become devoid of kindness or nuance.

[@juhel5531]

Bruh, society sucks. People that are angry at society have a point it's just eventually, you learn that society will not change in your lifetime. You can either move on and better your life while using society as a tool or you can make society better at great personal cost. I have PTSD because of intense habitual abuse as a 3 year old (let's leave what the act is up to imagination). When I sked for help at the time of the abuse, all I got was repeated skepticism and/or insults. I never got any reparations. I don't even get any recognition for coming out of it pretty well. So I am 30 year old man with majority of my memories from 3 years old to 13 years old just absolutely demolished due to intense abuse. Society still expects the same things from me and will readily abandon me if I can't perform, even though it was the same society that created the problems that crippled me.

[@carlpanzram7081]

You can dislike and want to change a certain aspect of society, but "hating society" in the way Doktor k is talking about, means that you want to destroy it. Like, you want to hurt people based on the fact that they are part of this society. Imagine you live in a house, and in that house is a room, and in the roof above a specific corner if that room, is a hole that leaks when it rains. You might grow to hate the house, or the rain, but that's not reasonable. Wanting to burn the house down, or wanting to make it never rain again, would be a huge mistake, and it wouldn't serve you at all. What WOULD serve you, is if you realized the only issue you truly have with that house is the single small hole in that part of the roof. You don't hate the house, you don't hate the rain, you don't even hate the roof, or the specific room, or the specific wet corner of that room. Hating the house wouldn't do anything for you. Even hating the hole in the roof is not constructive at all. What would be constructive is to FIX the issue. Like, understand the issue, understand its cause, and then do something about it. You might say that the hole is out of reach, and I would disagree, but even if that were true, wanting to burn the house down still wouldn't be reasonable.

[@elizabethgrinningson7730]

Ouch

[@ethanesslinger9805]

My problem is how society pushes this hatred onwards. Our society constantly pokes fun at incels or even just people struggling with anything in general, why wouldn't people begin hating everything and everyone around them as a coping mechanism? It's a vicious cycle that constantly recycles over and over.

[@rw5622]

Incels deserve to be criticized genius. They direct the hatred and trauma they feel towards others. Nobody hates men for being themselves, they hate people who hurt others instead of taking responsibility for their own thoughts and actions.

[@patrickmartin2236]

Well, part of the problem is how laughable a good chunk of incels are. When some dude comes out with the absurd take that women are alike lost puppies, instead of giving that man what he * needs * (therapy), the everyfolk gives him what he * deserves * (mockery). We need to learn to have more patience toward trauma and it's healing, while still taking an hardline against manifestations of that trauma. Dr K and his peers have quite the job security this decade.

[@rolandxb3581]

I do agree, because the most common reactions to incels are cruel (e.g., reinforcing the harmful stereotype that virgins are losers) and obscure a real problem, which is that relations between men and women are breaking down and that many men don't grow up right. That's bad.

[@ethanesslinger9805]

@patrickmartin2236 incels in general are made fun of, regardless of whether they're "nice guys" or not. The term is even used regularly to insult people who aren't even incels. There wouldn't be an incel problem if there wasn't a culture problem first.

[@Evelyne571]

Why should we coddle men who want to kill women for not sleeping with them?

[@2ndpartycrasher954]

Well...not quite. I actually am already aware of this. I want the world to burn but that's because of resentment. I can't help it though I'm so mad at what they did to me. I feel so betrayed and hurt. They must pay...or should they? There is a way to do this! If i can gather enough strength, i could heal this place and heal myself.

[@will3634]

You can do it

[@RebelXRaven]

Strongly disagree. Society has plenty of systems that cause trauma, sometimes by design. Police encounters, pay-to-win court systems, expensive runarounds to access medication and psychiatric care, corporate power over working class folks, and the callous nature of educational institutions are all pretty valid things for people to be angry with. Thats without even getting into racism, transphobia, homophobia, and other forms of oppression, many of which are baked into "society" at a fundamental level. Even as someone who recognizes the importance of working through personal trauma... this is an L take.

[@bumpkin8009]

It's fine to hate the bad aspects of society, just don't make opinions from a past negative experience. That's what the video says it is just a bad example.

[@DV-tx6ol]

First take of his I'm disagreeing with. This is water causes wetness moment. We all know emotions are an individual responsibility. That emotions and the infliction of trauma creates biases. It doesn't change anything reoccuring systemically. And, only the individual can heal themselves. As well only they will have the insight needed, once healed and lens cleaned, to teach others what could help societal wide. Idk if it's just the clip or if it really was that silly, but it could have used more clarification. This feels like a strawman argument.

[@tankgirllovesroos]

Aside from offering salt enemas I think Gandhi had the whole, Be the Change you wish to see in the world. Feeling angry isn't going to do any good. It's a hard one sometimes to not but effective to not be run/consumed by it. Thank you for sharing this. ❤

[@anfetanimate3733]

Goes both ways

[@prsfilms]

I hate society. But its what I have seen of it not the whole of it. Hearing this I know I am wrong but the anger and hate is still there.

[@iareamisme]

whew! no more worry that society may be less than perfect

[@KezumiCreative]

This is only true to an extent I think. For example I'm a disabled wheelchair user. I am angry at society for dismissing disabled people so casually and not doing enough to make our society more accessible. I don't think that's an unjustified anger?

[@DianaWanMa]

I'm a heterosexual woman and in my childhood and teenage years I had an "incel" mindset, with hate towards society and agreeing that women choose bad boys. I didn't have any traumatic experience with women, it was just the pattern I saw. When I grew up I started opening my mind more and accepting that everyone were built different, not worse or better than others. This was the mindset shift I needed.

[@universalmusicgrouptalenta1307]

Your opinion doesn’t count here bc it’s easier as a woman

[@TheRealNickG]

Dr K, this hits my ears as something close to the equivalent of "good people on both sides" junk we heard from a goober a few years ago. Until this moment, I never could put my finger on what makes me sometimes uncomfortable with the way you frame things. Let's use a gaming analogy..... Yes, you absolutely need to worry about your own play. No, it doesn't do you any "good" to be upset when outcomes don't meet your expectations. But real life doesn't work out cleanly that way. You are married to the woman you are married to (hopefully) because she doesn't make bronze moves in life and expect you to carry her to GM. You actually DO have to pay attention to what other people are doing and how their ineptitude might effect your life.

[@apollyon6855]

change on a small scale rather than on a large scale, it makes sense

[@GerardoGutierrezGonzalez]

You have to realize that was your experience thus you must learn and if that can repeat to other people you migth have something useful

[@marcofregoso1195]

To be fair, the "red pill" community is not really about spitting hate, but more about being aware. I agree there are a lot of men angry at women for their own reasons. But most people just want to improve for themselves and improve to be better men for their future woman. Great insight, but not so great example.

[@colourofmage]

Sheesh. Easy to say that when you're successful. Society is working for you. People's experiences do differ but there are plenty of observations you can make about society and generalise with some accuracy.

[@Xario1]

I really don't think this does well out of context, mostly becuase it starts very generalized as "people who are angry at society", but then specifies "incels and red pillers". The anger about society does reach beyond just those two kinds of people and that what i clicked to watch your opinion about, not just those two specific types of people who are,angry at society, but everyone who is.

[@peanbean1973]

You have to take accountability for the position you are in. Even if it was others thst did you wrong the only thing you can do is change your own decisions.

[@RapidAimers]

Fam thats why you stop caring, I see society as trash because thats the truth do I care? No.... I really dont and I continue to live my life.

[@dylanbailey8464]

"Your anger at the dog that keeps biting you isent the dogs fault. It comes from within you and it's your problem and stopping the dog won't solve anything" Sure

[@ClockworkAvatar]

no one becomes an incel overnight or by choice, it takes a lifetime of ridicule and rejection. if you are being you and get nothing but hate for it, the choices are pretend to be somone else if you can or don't

[@TheCognitiveDissident]

Dang, this actually explains a lot of my anger and resentment towards the institution of Christianity. I guess it really is just a direct result of my suppressed religious trauma.

[@Fridge_Fiend]

So a minority in the 50's isn't really upset about society just their own experiences? What about an lgbt person in a deeply homophobic / transphobic country?

[@Dsonsee]

Does the fact that my salary is low and the wound time too high not also affect my ability to also have time and energy for myself, so that I can work on my trauma?

[@jamm_affinity]

Yeah rather than allowing our anger to be channeled we should just be more mindful and meditate? While being angry all the time is not ideal being highly opinionated and critical of society is the best indicator of someone who is a good citizen that is paying attention.

[@Matt_HK12]

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change." - Michael Jackson

[@Tin_tin_tin_tin]

Some people have genuine anger against structural violences in society like race, gender and class.

[@grouchypotatowolfpack5580]

I've never met an autistic person who didn't resent the world and everyone in it for whatever reason, myself included.

[@carlpanzram7081]

Hello. Now you have.

[@bumpkin8009]

Being off in any way really sucks. Not all people are considerate some people are just assholes you should just focus the parts of the world you enjoy

[@rileyadams3382]

Dr. K doesn't have a lot of bad takes, but this is one. Yes, of course, if this is a single person, this is good advice. If there are a multitude of people with the same issues, which he seems to have experience with, it's a societal issue. His channel, providing pseudo-mental health care (only in the manner of him NOT being YOUR Dr., specifically) in and of itself is an attempt to remedy societal issues amongst men. His existence and success on platforms invalidates this take, not like this opinion is negative in any way, it's extremely helpful for many.

[@bink865]

I need to consider this myself

[@lnigomontoya]

This is what I tell myself to cope with rush hour traffic.

[@charliemoll5435]

Capitalism justifying itself through psychology. Disgusting

[@sp123]

That's the purpose of psychology

[@hillariat2147]

Wgat happens if it does actually come from the society they live in? As in the trauma comes from an experience interacting with society (eg. Structural racism)

[@danielbob2628]

Gee, if woman-related trauma is so common, maybe we SHOULD be looking at society as a whole.

[@analogies]

What if that same “trauma” is something that’s been repeated time and time again with multiple people and seems to be more evidence of a pattern than just a defense mechanism to protect oneself from acknowledging their own behavior? When do you draw the line that it has something to do with society and the way people are conditioned to behave vs something that has more to do with yourself and how you deal with pain? I feel that the thing you’re saying here, while true for so many people, is a slippery slope into gaslighting yourself and never being able to point out the harmful ways our society functions. For example what if a person of color lived in a society where people were covertly racially bias against them. They notice that people are a lot less open to them despite having the same or even better qualities as the person next to them with the more preferred racial markers. The people may not outwardly say they have a racial bias, in fact most people have convinced themselves they’re accepting of all races and ethnicities, but you see it in their actions and the way they behave around you how untrue that actually is. And it would be wrong to feel hurt by that and feel there’s something whole heartedly flawed with that kind of society? I know you’re talking about a very specific thing here, dealing with incels and redpillers, but I’ve seen this type of reasoning applied to so many different scenarios. It’s always, “you have the issues, not the others” and something about that really rubs me the wrong way. That line of reasoning can’t be true in all instances

[@catcat5564]

Wooow charisma on command is done by a super attractive guy. Who woulda thought he succeeds at social situations! Must be his charisma skills

[@ashc4h488]

@@Dimitris_Half ⁉

[@Dandnayak778]

​@@Dimitris_Halfyou're trolling and replying everyone in this comment section. get a job

[@IsraelCountryCube]

​@@Dandnayak778he's more pitiful than an incel I suppose

[@googlekullancs564]

Oh no... Surroundingnis very sick.

[@identity7845]

I'm a fan of Dr. K, but I also think that incels have some valid criticism of society. I for one, I haven't been a hit with the ladies, but at the same time I have never experienced trauma or pain related to women (or any trauma to my knowledge). I am just a very sensitive person who might have aspergers (I know that you should never self diagnose yourself). I feel like society is not making it any easier for me to find a suitable partner, quite the opposite. Is it irrational of me to say that people (society) have gotten more shallow (increased body image standards), and more accepting of casual sexual encounters and sex work? (which I think are detrimental for people who want wholesome relationships and lead a moral life).

[@sakesaurus]

amen bro

[@Skimmerlit]

Does police brutality count as society? I’m angry about that.

[@vivvpprof]

There's millions of things to be angry about: war, hunger, corruption, Ebola, and police brutality is one of them. Not saying that isn't a legitimate target but I still think the anger might be coming from within you, not from the phenomenon itself - especially if you have had trouble with authorities in the past, parents, teachers and such.

[@mztpar]

@@Dimitris_Halfthe government is society

[@laurelgardner]

​@@mztpar it's...really not. Unless you just meant that it's a *part* of society.

[@karthiksk7246]

It comes from your experience

[@Thomas-ex6tp]

I think what Dr.K said applies on more “neutral” societal concepts. Things like “rape”, “murder” or “police brutality” are not morally accepted, and they are considered a form of injustice, a violation of social standards. It makes sense to me that you don’t have to experience them to be angry about them, because they are things that are “wrong” to people. Meanwhile, there aren’t any strong moral implications behind concepts like “women” - you don’t normally say that the existence/concept of women is wrong.

[@TheRocketman136]

And what differs them from people who are actually valid in their evaluation? Who are not wrong in seeing how that or that is ineffective or detrimental, therefore have negative opinion about it's current state? Or that's impossible, and you're apriori wrong if you are unhappy about people and society, apparently according to Dr.K?

[@Ryan-wi7ru]

Hate society? It’s because you’re maidenless bro

[@Gabber1110]

Wh-wh-wh-WHYYYYY. I FEEL CALLED OUT

[@theultimatemaster137]

Sounds like he's coming from a central left point of view, so he's probably mostly referring to right wing groups since he points out incels. If he's talking about critiques on capitalism based on imperical data and/OR personal experience then he's definitely part of the problem here. However, no hate to the guy I think he's generally well intentioned here and I think he's usually doing pretty good work.