Perfect Love Isn't Real. Beware of Drug Happiness

[@pattiellen5339]

I have been drug free (narcissist free) for 7 months now. I am super-lonely. I went no-contact and initially found myself frequenting the same places (restaurants, coffee shops, vacation destinations) where he and I spent time together. That really enhanced the feeling of loneliness. I now go to restaurants and vacation spots that the narcissist refused to go to (only because I wanted to go there😂) and it gives me a feeling of power to do this. I am focusing on self care and won’t even consider a relationship at this point of my walk.

[@Spock_Rogers]

Try getting a journal and give it a name of a best friend who understands everything. Then, write down what you are feeling like you're talking to that best friend. 🕊️

[@emiliafernandez4234]

Bravo! Many people are not brave enough to do this. Most of them search answers in casual sex, drugs, work, etc. May you continue in this healthy path, and who knows, later you'll find the right partner

[@joesther8058]

Diving into a relationship with the Lord has helped me in a loveless 37 years married to a covert narcissist. A narcissist can never fulfill you!

[@HelenLange-up1pz]

I’ve chosen to live happily alone, with a fulfilling life after realizing I got into previous relationships to rescue another without knowing what I need & deserve. Thank you for the info on psychological gymnastics used by those who may be experiencing pathological loneliness, which I’m learning an SLD doesn’t have to mend, as tempting as it is to be needed. May those who operate from a core of shame heal & be able to bond in a healthy way finally, proactively, because each of us deserves to love & be loved. Sending well wishes. Thank you for your work.

[@RossRosenberg]

Thank you for your support and well wishes. Hope you had a chance to subscribe to my website at www.selfloverecovery.com.

[@helenbuckingham4596]

Thanks so much for your video today Ross. I’m still struggling with loneliness after finally leaving a 47 year marriage consisting of all the symptoms you describe. I am familiar with your program & was given your name by a friend who has been through this experience also. It’s been 5 tough years with misunderstanding by family members making leaving more painful. Your program has been a lifeline for me. Thanks again

[@christinedrayson9251]

You give me hope. Thank you Ross.

[@christinajackson6520]

Thank you 😍🙏❤️ “SOULMATE to CELL MATE!” Love that, and how you cite it being your Father’s quote (and his contribution to your book).

[@Ava_St]

Thank you so much Ross for what you are doing for us ❤ healing started

[@luizlunkes3992]

Wow!!! That’s great. The SLDD have to take (and care) of their self-responsibility… Thank you Ross!!! You are helping a huge amount of people!!!

[@RossRosenberg]

Glad it was helpful! Don't forget to subscribe to my website: www.selfloverecovery.com for the latest updates.

[@dominics7565]

We gather here again. I am so ready for the release of your new book Dr. Rosenberg.

[@RossRosenberg]

Thank you for your continued support. It will be out soon. Don't forget to subscribe to our website for the latest updates at www.selfloverecovery.com.

[@andrewjohn4876]

Thank you Ross for sharing your liberating work with us. You are helping me enormously.

[@anaviana2641]

Thanks Dr Ross Rossenberg for your videos. Its now a year since I have blocked the true narc from my life. A year later and these thoughts still creep unto my head but not as a craving desire for him but more as a repulsion. I am very repulsed by just the thought of him. I have since this "crazy, mad, demonic" encounter with the narc been very acutely aware of other narcs and that whole magnet syndrom thing you teach us about (so true) , narcs are very predictable and its scary they are EVERYWHERE. I have not been in any relationship since Aug 2022 as I am still healing, as I dont trust men in general , as I don't trust myself to discern these narcs totally yet. I believe I do have a shopping issue now to replace this narc addiction but Im aware of it and will combat it too. I have to. For me its so important to develop healthy habits, thoughts, behaviors and to respect myself, care for my spiritual and emotional needs.. This requires years of healing therapy. So help me God, I want to heal, I must heal to be free of all the things that are outcomes of my abusive and neglected childhood 🙏

[@susanmcgovern8999]

I wish I had had this info 45 years ago, still working on this and your books and videos are invaluable to me, thank you Ross for all your research! It's like you are talking directly to me, the validation is life changing, thank you so very much❤️🥰

[@irinamladenoska7539]

ОК. I was SLDD and now I am SLA. I have a question. My husband, that is maybe not NPD, but has traits (btw his mom and mine are both npd-s, according to me, one covert and one malignat), he wants tk make up with me. We have 2 beautuful kids that we love very much. We are separated for 3 years. Durinh this time I found out everything, that I am SLDD and I healed my self, I found out about my mom that is a civert narc and my enabling father, that was loving, but an alcoholic. My question is: can we safe our marriage and be happy with eachother, if we go to therapy? Is there are cure for us. I am trembeling to go back, now that I am cured.

[@T.Taylor]

​@@irinamladenoska7539 Therapy will be helpful for YOU. However narcs do NOT change and therapy never helps them, because they feel no need for change. A therapist can help you sort it all out in sessions by yourself. I would not personally consider getting back together, rather continue on your present course of healing and parenting with a support system in place.

[@RossRosenberg]

You're very welcome! Thank you for your support.

[@MetaPhysStore0770]

In my relationship with my 35 yr old kid, i give all the care love and respect, and i think im now discarded by them and its super painful loneliness. Is this the same thing your talking about? Seems even more tough dealing with loneliness for older alienated parents.

[@namedrop721]

Did you ask them if they’re abandoning you? I’m holding out the possibility that everything is as you say. But more often when I see this situation it’s that they haven’t abandoned you, or they have abandoned you and have good cause. It takes a lot to abandon a parent and makes neither logistic, societal, nor emotional sense unless the pain and problems are immutable. If they are the kid and you are really the parent, I would look within yourself to see which of these situations are the case.

[@frau_ic]

I have to say that parts of the narcissist-victim relationship make me think of the master-apprentice connection. Except for the differences that the apprentice is usually released from the grip outside of the learning situation and within the encounter there is usually an emphasis on adherence to rules. The common goal, however, is to change the personality, in one case at best by adding skills for the profession, in the other by concentrating on useful qualities and eradicating unloved tendencies in favor of providing the narcissist with the best possible supply.

[@anthonywhite6530]

I've read your book twice. You helped to save my life. Thank you. Enjoy the Christmas and New year. Stay brilliant. Anthony Ireland.

[@monicaleond]

Thank you. I needed to hear this. I'm just going through a rough breakup where I have been kind of just let down with time but no talk about the end of the relationship. I don't think he is a narcissist but it still hurts that after three years things ended like this, with him just asking for space and then just stopped contacting me. I need to keep working in healing this SLDD.

[@riverbilly64]

❤️I think we SLDDs are also attracted to Dismissive Avoidant people. Narcissists and DAs *only* have been the story of my life.

[@monicaleond]

@@riverbilly64 I feel you. Seeing in retrospect, now that I am learning about this and I am going on strong with my healing and education in this matter, I realize that this is my case too: mostly narcissistic and avoidant men. I hope next time it will be better and I wish this for you too.

[@OliveWeitzel]

Wow! I was in a relationship like this for 20 (!!!) Years. ONLY when I learned to face the patological loneliness with JESUS I was able to break free four years ago. But still I am sometimes tempted to reconnect to him in another country; only consciously recalling the pain he caused in my life, prevents me from doing so!

[@narcissismcentral8228]

Can you explain how the attachment injury occurs please/ this is confusing regarding one or both parents. What if you don’t think either parent is a narcissist? Is it just the mother attachment or mother and father it isn’t clear?

[@narcissismcentral8228]

How can we heal with this if we can’t afford your 1:1 counselling?

[@RossRosenberg]

On my website, www.selfloverecovery.com I offer tons of resources at discounted prices that can assist and provide some guidance on healing.

[@arianasha]

Beautiful Ross!

[@RossRosenberg]

Thank you! Cheers!

[@nicolewaters2581]

ROSS: Do you offer personal coaching sessions? I don’t see a reference in your bio. If so, I’d like to connect to with you.

[@RossRosenberg]

@nicolewaters2581 I offer psychotherapy sessions for my treatment program. Click this link: www.selfloverecovery.com/pages/self-love-recovery-treatment

[@nicolewaters2581]

@@RossRosenberg thank you - I’ll connect this week.

[@gamingash9789]

I hope i can get your book in hard copy soon. I want to know, what is the other side of this? I feel life is dull and meaningless and i am like a zombie. i feel like i need to save someone in order for me to feel like i exist. When i am not saving someone, i live like I'm so fragile and weak. But my body is sore and stiff, i technically can't save anyone at this point. What can i do? Is this just the withdrawal symptom? Should i just sleep it off? It's like depression but it seems like it can be fixed by being like a hero again.

[@RossRosenberg]

Have you read The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap it's available on our website? If not follow this link to purchase it: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/human-magnet-syndrome-books.

[@richbaca6324]

what is SLD.............

[@mac-ju5ot]

.( I'm a sld.) Thank u Ross. It's so odd because where I live we have addicts trying to escape and they take out their frustrations on many lonely seniors here.. I've been sick this year try to not appear vunerable or ask anyone for any kind of help.( I only trust my Drs to get life correct ...them I trust) I'm suffering from cptsd Try to mediate every am early.. eat healthier . But no I think having come from a torn childhood with addicts we all get great upset watching those people play us.your work is invaluable to many.. my work took me many years to see just how vunerable we all are..( best to read all I can on this subject) And learn I have . My ex left five years ago......fast as he could the dynamics were bad. No matter how many beautiful moments I refuse to let anymore abuse happen to me.. thank for all ur work

[@irinamladenoska7539]

I am a former SLD, and I am cured. My question is can I safe a marriage now, that I am cured? I am 3 years alone. I have a husband with narc traits and 2 kids. I have a mom and mother at law, both narcs. My father was a codepnedent and alcoholic, but very loving.

[@embassysweets8607]

I say get a couple cats, for real.