MEN'S greatest ENEMY: moving past the fear

The one thing that most prevents men from having the relationships they want with the women they want to have them with is cowardice. In this episode, I discuss three ways in which this cowardice tends to manifest in the game of mating and dating: in approaching women, in responding to female emotionality, and in assuming leadership. For men, courage is the pathway to more satisfying relationships with women.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #men #relationship

[@psychacks]

The one thing that most prevents men from having the relationships they want with the women they want to have them with is cowardice. In this episode, I discuss three ways in which this cowardice tends to manifest in the game of mating and dating: in approaching women, in responding to female emotionality, and in assuming leadership. For men, courage is the pathway to more satisfying relationships with women. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #relationship

[@Steve24527]

I asked my gym crush out and she said sorry she has a boyfriend which I didn’t have a problem with but now she totally ignores me turns her head if we pass almost to the point of being rude! I mean flaming hell I know she has a boyfriend but is there really that much of a problem to nod your head and be civil? Or is there a chance that if she didn’t have a boyfriend she finds me attractive? Would luv your opinion? I can stick up to any guy but I can’t always work a woman’s brain out lol 👍

[@edstringer1138]

Im almost triple digit for sex partners starting from high school to age fifty now . I dont approach women not because of ' 'fear ' it is because the juice isnt worth the squeeze , Ive seen the worst in women during these hookups years The lies ,cheating ,disloyalty ,nastiness , manipulations Focus on you guys , .not the 304s

[@rogerm3708]

@@Steve24527 She wanted your attention and nothing more. She got what she wanted from you and has moved on to attract another guy in the gym that she hopes to shoot down in the near future. She will only show an interest in you again when you no longer have any interest in her. You can go on playing this game with her or you can stop playing the game

[@rogerm3708]

@@edstringer1138 I'm double digits and your age and I don't approach women anymore because other than looks, I rarely find anything special in most women. Most of the young ones want me to pay for their fun and the ones around my age want me to supplement their pension

[@prestonchilders5540]

genius

[@mojorider8067]

I used to be afraid of being rejected, then i realized being rejected is the most insignificant thing that will ever happen in my life.

[@watchingbrain]

since rejection is the standard M.O. you struck gold with your observation. Congrats on that one. Both thumbs up!

[@brianbachmeier34]

Yes

[@joncarbone]

So much time and energy saved. Moreover, I’ve rejected women that rejected me years prior. Nice to get the last laugh.

[@Dancing_Alone_wRentals]

wow you hit pay dirt with that comment.

[@anthonyml7]

I got over it in 2 fold, one the fear of regret (beating myself up over not taking a chance, or giving a girl a chance to be exact.) the 2nd was by realizing girls get rejected just as much if not more than us (they just talk about it WAY less.)

[@chrischris9157]

My greatest enemy is my ex wife

[@hlny3162]

Lmao

[@peterkoch3777]

Think again! She is everything you deserve. 😂❤ BTW: i know what you mean, i am twice dieworsed. It took me years to take accountability for MY faults and realize my exes are not the enemy.😮

[@SayfumaniMyG]

@@peterkoch3777 Its both. Just because you ignored the red flags, doesn’t mean its okay for them to behave bad.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

This is such a great point. Getting a relationship, marriage, and wife can end up making you extremely poor, sad and alone. Many of the most lonely people are actually husbands with a aggressive, bossy, combative and disagreeable wife.

[@aaronrider4051]

"You wrote 'Your Cheatin' Heart' about a gal like my first ex wife...." - Moe Bandy

[@TheSodaShop]

When you have so many things going for you in life, rejection becomes less and less powerful. If you have a good job, good friends, hit the gym, and have enough money, getting rejected becomes almost meaningless

[@graham167]

It also takes a certain amount of courage for a man to end a relationship when the woman doesn't want it to end. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

[@mohamadmohana6912]

I can relate to that. I had to end mine because my peace started to get disturbed.

[@Haydersublate]

I ran away instead. That's what heroes do.

[@marguskiis7711]

@@Haydersublate Cowards are not heroes.

[@Haydersublate]

@@marguskiis7711 I was obviously being ridiculous.

[@paulpham9216]

The Hero strategy isn’t the norm, that’s why the medal of honour is rare and rewarded But our cunningly minds , can turn a retreat into a trap, which is the optimal hunting technique

[@SuperMBARutgers2013]

It's only cowardice if there's a good chance. Otherwise, it's calculus. Put your energy where it creates value.

[@CH-eb1rn]

Sounds like cope

[@slylockfox85]

@@CH-eb1rn He's right to a degree. The biggest problem is that most men have not put in the work to be an ideal mate. But that creates a whole other set of problems. After putting in the work, you will realize that most whymen are a waste of time and liability.

[@SuperMBARutgers2013]

@@CH-eb1rn How? Wisdom is ascertaining where to put your resources. Hence passport bros etc. Why fish in a toxic pond when you can go to the ocean and eat like abundantly.

[@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT]

@@slylockfox85 everyone wants to be the adorer in the relationship. Feeling like the adored makes people believe they can do better and disinterested in the adorer after some time. It’s human nature, designed to increase reproduction.

[@alwaysgreatusa223]

@@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT Actually, everyone wants to be adored -- especially by those they adore. The problem, as you indicate, is that once we get that adoration, our desire to be adored by that person is satiated, and we start looking for adoration from someone else whom we adore, but who does not yet adore us -- and maybe never will. In other words, we are constantly seeking adoration -- especially from those whom we adore, but whom do not yet adore us. We are basically seeking confirmation of our own value and worth. Of course, one should start with self-confirmation instead, and learn to value the adoration we already have from those in our lives whom already love and adore us. This is a hard lesson to learn, however, and it can take years, even decades, to learn the value of appreciating what you already have. Of course, some people go through their entire lives without ever learning this life-changing lesson -- and, so, they die lonely and alone.

[@overcomethepull]

I have truly been a coward all my life. Two months ago, I decided I will no longer feel ashamed of the life that I want. My wife of 7 years and I have struggled for power in the relationship since the beginning and on my 30th birthday I told her that I wanted to divorce her. I tolerated behavior from her that I was too afraid to address, I could not tell her no, I was ignorant to her manipulations and I believed her words over her actions. Needless to say, our increasingly sexless marriage was headed to an ending regardless, but I am very happy to have woken up to a bolder more masculine energy when I did. I could not imagine going through a divorce with no sense of self and not being able to assert boundaries and be reasonable no matter how emotional she becomes. I have learned so much about myself in these 7 years, and so much about women as well, especially in these last two years. Thank you Doctor!

[@jochem1986]

I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you. Well done to getting to know more about yourself!

[@andrewcarlson2178]

One word of advice, if it's ver contentioys try not to contact her except through lawyers. If she says something or texts something to you that makes you angry or emotional, do not answer. I made it a rule to not answer texts from my ex for 24 hours (unless it was something ver trivial). Invariably my answers were different 24 hours later. This is business now, not personal

[@cosmictreason2242]

Didn't even try to be masculine to fix the problems first 🤦‍♂️

[@rodan2852]

​@andrewcarlson2178 good advice 👍

[@EC-lq1sn]

Hard to do when you need two incomes to live in a decent home. Glad you got out.

[@donpin]

Thank you for your excellent videos, Dr. Taraban. They have really helped me get out of a long term rut.

[@jokerpilled2535]

You paid a man $100 to call you a coward?

[@soaringeagle9597]

@@jokerpilled2535 sometimes hearing a hard truth is exactly what a man needs.

[@Mrbobster87]

Oh wow, so generous. I wish we had guys like this in the early 2000s

[@wiseonwords]

@@jokerpilled2535 - Really? Is that the paltry message you got from this video? I pity you.

[@jokerpilled2535]

@@wiseonwords I pity the fool who thinks they need to be gaslighted by some stranger on the internet in order to get their life together.

[@frankthetank3649]

You have be ready and okay with being alone, but if you do find somebody who adds to your life in a positive way, then that’s a bonus. Win/win either way with that mindset.

[@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT]

The difficult thing about being a man is building your attraction level. The awesome thing about being a man is building your attraction level.

[@shaolinotter]

ive definitely been through all the bullshit with these girls, but now I can just go to the skatepark and take my shirt off and theres a good chance someone will pick me up

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

You will regret it if you don't approach her (you will be alone). You will regret it if you do approach her (you will be divorced). You can't win. lol

[@scottmccomish1173]

@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 well said!🤣Although I have to say I’m enjoying being alone

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@scottmccomish1173 Preach. Alone not lonely.

[@carefulcarpenter]

My wife blames me for not having work, or a job. When I look at those older workers--- it is mostly women. Do you see a conflict there?

[@emZee1994]

You are the father figure I never had. Thank you Dr. Taraban

[@emZee1994]

I've also just signed up to become a member and pre-ordered your upcoming book

[@GyatRizzler69-of3wl]

Bruh shutup

[@acardinalconsideration824]

I think that the absence of fear is a more common catalyst for the gradual destruction of men’s lives nowadays than cowardice. But I think they work in tandem. Cowardice in times where bravery is required and arrogance in times where prudence is crucial is a very common mismatch. It’s something that I struggle with.

[@rex9288]

I agree.. Bravery is a thin line from straight up stupidity

[@bigdog2084]

You have a good point. Basically a man is unafraid of the relationship and doesn't see the real person he chose to protect. It's a struggle most men have accepted and fixed eventually in their life. Men must be vigilant and hard on oneself to survive these relationships. To the point of accepting solitude if need be.

[@someguyusa]

I'm afraid of getting ripped apart in divorce either financially or having kids weaponized. I saw it happen to my dad, many friends, and I see it in the news all the time. It's got little to do with being afraid of rejection or of female emotions. Edit: I've gotten 3 girls' numbers just this week. I never said I am unwilling to engage, fellas. Definitely still afraid though.

[@Jumpingjackflash123]

There’s gotta be a path to saving yourself. You’re not the first person who’s had this experience

[@doug5372]

I feel this

[@user-uv1lq4bl4p]

Position yourself when the kids are 18 get a side hustle and stack money on the side and prepare for life after divorce get in shape maintain your health so you can attract the next woman if not already hehe

[@deeshnutsh]

Lawyers 🤷🏽‍♂️ it's going to be an expensive mistake.

[@joelupinacci9900]

I'm experiencing your fears right now. 17 years of marriage, 3 kids, she and I had not too severe issues no cheating, or beating but, they're gone out since May and yes, 75% of divorces are initiated by women, we pay and pay.

[@Vantitas]

“You are your greatest enemy since no one knows you better than yourself.” One of the main reasons why I’m personally not out mingling with women due to not having nothing to leverage resource-wise to contend with in the current dating market. Be it in the west or overseas. That’s why I’ve been staying in my own lane while focusing on self-improving until things get better for me in that aspect of my life.

[@vv-cv6ud]

Yes I’m coward because I was the people pleaser . But I will over come this and thrive !!

[@Axrover]

You will. I did. Life is amazing on the other side. Might I recomend "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr Glover.

[@lukeo2982]

I've been a coward my whole life. It's absolute torture

[@grealish2234]

Me too but at the age of 27 , I'm going out and asking out women like crazy . I started by first talking to random men . Then started making friends . Then started normal talking with woman. Then escalated to flirting and now ask out like crazy

[@ayotundeoluyeye6016]

I truly believe this channel has men best interests at heart

[@deeshnutsh]

So true! I lost myself trying to please a very strongly emotional woman, and little by little, she didn't respect me anymore and I lost her, the relationship and most importantly, myself.

[@tdb5075]

Happens to the best of us. The important thing is that now it’s happened once, make sure it doesn’t happen again

[@rayrwyr]

I am not afraid of approaching/initiating. I am afraid of inviting chaos and loss of peace into my life when dealing with damaged ladies of modern times.

[@hillesbrand]

facts. everyone has something traumatic these days

[@Hoseofwisdom]

😂

[@maxdawg]

amen. i like coming home to peace & quiet and not the chaos and emotional irritation & demands. oh, and for sex... today's women can't wait to give it up; it's not even a challenge anymore.

[@user-rj2pt8xs5m]

Gave a beach a chance and I got destroyed emotionally for like 3 months

[@Soy_Alpha]

Then keep initiating/approaching. Weed out the women that are whack before they can get a hold on you like that, and you'll eventually find someone. Or you'll just have a lot of exciting experiences with casual partners, oof.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

For men in their 20s, there is nothing they want more than a relationship. But for men in their 30s and 40s in this RP space, getting that wife or baby momma has become the single biggest mistake of their life. You'll regret if you do approach her. You'll regret if you don't approach her. Just remember, she's not your girl, its just your turn.

[@Candlelight787]

I had women in 3 digits. You will not regret not approaching her. All poon is about the same and it gets boring pretty quickly ss well. The ones that keep the entertainment last longest are the crazy ones due to their unpredictable nature. They are also the most expensive and ones a man should avoid at all cost.

[@slQa.]

@@Candlelight787 real

[@kdm28]

​@@Candlelight787like a former boss told me, "All cats are gray in the dark."

[@Xenozillex]

@@Candlelight787 i think there is a healthy balance between having zero relationships and "in 3 digits" worth of body. Problem is the market pushes men into both extremes.

[@Candlelight787]

@@kdm28 Wise words

[@alitava6844]

Statistically and from our experiences, a good outcome from approaching modern women is really rare. So it is natural to not risk other important aspects of your life (momey, peace, reputation...) to just be with a woman. It is not cowardness, it is rational thinking.

[@KpxUrz5745]

Agreed. A good outcome is so rare that it is nearly zero. This suggests that a man has to make an utter fool of himself hundreds of times or more just to hope for even a glimmer of any non-humiliating rejection. The only times I was ever able to see a spark of interest was when we both already had a certain commonality, such as back in college sharing a class. And even then it was mostly a vacuum. Approaching a stranger in public? Ha, that is a surefire rejection.

[@Tom-vq2hw]

It seems the only way for men to be content with their relationship is to care so little about it that you're maybe 1% happier than being single. We're told that our relationship will be the main course of life, but it seems to be nothing more than an unappealing dessert that nobody has room for anymore

[@RupertMcGruber]

Underrated comment.

[@big6316]

You've boiled the entire red pill movement and it's ultimate outcome down to an extremely easy concept within two sentences. It deserves to be shared and I hope you don't mind if I start doing that.

[@whodarboilebamnames3990]

It definitely seems like a byproduct of guys settling for girls they don't particularly like due to the scarcity mindset. The take, take, take attitude is also extremely prevalent now a days. The relationships basically become prostitution with extra steps. I, and two of my bros have been lucky enough to find women that we love, they also love us right back. We never tire of each other's company, yet I see many men wince when they see a call coming from their girlfriends. They really are purely transactional relationships.

[@mahendra4352]

Good content. In my case, the cowardice was planted by parents (mother included) during childhood. I hate that shaming/guilt-tripping, it ruin almost everything I have. Even in this moment, that fear keeps lurking & nagging from the darkness.

[@Detector1977]

The risk/reward for approaching a women has never ever been worse than it is today. In the past you would most often be turned down in a polite way with the biggest drawback was a simple NO. We are no longer there as women see themselves as superior and beings that need to be catered for.

[@BxBL85]

Only American women think they are superior to the common man. In vast majority of cultures it's the opposite and this is why I always rejected to be involved with American women.

[@jk-califkid5017]

Forty years of American TV pandered to women. The Cosby Show always had Bill pandering to his wife. Friends had three beta blue pill guys pandering to all women. The culture ingrained this idea that men are worthless for a very long time in the USA.

[@glevando]

Indeed, today's women totally overrate themselves. They are pretty boring when you get right down to it. Ninety percent of their time is spent on their stupid phones. The other 5% complaining about something.

[@Soy_Alpha]

Yeah ah geez, she might say "ain't no way, L rizz" now 😱

[@onebridge7231]

Great advice. Don’t lose yourself in a relationship.

[@JoeHeine]

It’s not fear, it’s common sense Edit: this really caught traction. I want to point out my surprise at O’Ryan resorting to Shaming Language, typical of a manipulative woman, instead of using measured, logical argument.

[@zbridgjpxupzm]

yep and getting MeToo-ed

[@__-tz6xx]

Yeah. You don't approch women with nose ring, tattoos, who believe in supernatural woo woo magic and then they call you a narcisst and a incel when you don't. They still think they are a prize when they do a bunch of unattractive crap.

[@tony9146]

@@zbridgjpxupzm can’t be understated. Rolling the dice with your career, future, and reputation just to potentially get mediocre attention is a legitimate concern that can’t simply be dismissed as “fear”

[@user-sn2cx7fb5w]

cope

[@jordanmatthew6315]

@@user-sn2cx7fb5w Its wisdom not cope simp, pay attention.

[@p_t_827]

Men and women being equal? NO. How is that men arent allowed to leave ukraine and are being sent to the meat grinder, while women can freely move to the west?

[@Xenozillex]

Imagine going to die for your country and then surviving just to come home to poonani that's been around the Mediterranean.

[@richien8472]

​@@XenozillexOh! The horror!

[@jk-califkid5017]

And a lot of them left their husband's for a higher status guy. No relationship equity - Rollo.

[@sheezy2526]

Equal in some ways, different in others. Just remember not all contributions to the society are celebrated specially after the post industrialization and capitalism. In Ancient Sparta, men who died in battle and women who died in childbirth got marked graves for their sacrifice while others didn't.

[@Lee-vb4dx]

@sheezy2526 who gives a fuck about a Grave?

[@ilaarga2150]

It is not cowardice man. It is the consequences of being with the wrong woman. And there is more wrong than right out there big man

[@jencrews]

I’m a woman and this totally applies to me too. I’ve been plenty experiences with men who used emotionality to try to change me or get me to stay and sometimes it worked but not anymore. I’m done with guilt. Give me a relationship in which we can very matter-of-factly communicate about what we want otherwise I’m not interested and I’d rather be alone.

[@DOUBLE0SEVUN]

Going thorough this myself right now. Communication felt impossible and so hard with her and everything thing felt vague. Just couldn’t take it anymore and just rather be alone than have something that just messes with my head.

[@Strafeyy]

Do you know what you want?

[@jencrews]

@@Strafeyy it’s so funny you asked that because just this weekend I got crystal clear about some things. I definitely knew what I want in terms of how I want my relationship to feel but this weekend I got clarity about how I want my life to look. I think the answer is yes I’m always working on being clear and straight with myself about what I’m creating next.

[@Strafeyy]

@jencrews Welcome to the epiphany phase! Hope you can find a man on his purpose that isn't dating younger, it's tough out there nowadays for men and women

[@big6316]

I've not met a woman that can stay on the "matter of fact" communication track for any significant length of time. They usually shut discussion down when accountability has the potential to show up, even if it's on a very distant horizon.

[@BEATmyguest31]

I’m afraid of what they’re capable of. Divorce court, being used for resources, told they love you when they really don’t. Think that’s a little different

[@brazidas58]

100% true men are afraid of the overwhelming power of the state

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

Divorce court, and losing your money, house and kids, and getting zero'ed out is extremely rough.

[@Priceyyyyy]

It's incredibly easy to protect 100% of your assets in a divorce. Put your money into assets that are irretrievable by authorities such as certain cryptos or into precious metals that are purchased with cash. Put properties/businesses in your parent's or other close family members names but have them sign contracts giving you all the power etc. Only thing you need to worry about is kids and child support

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@Priceyyyyy For anyone getting married in 2023, getting destroyed financially in divorce court is a choice. Marriage is extremely dangerous, but you can do things like get a prenup to make marriage safe. As you say, kids and child support should be the only things to worry about. However, choosing a wife who doesn't moan, and complain all the time, and is mentally and emotionally stable should help to reduce the risk of this.

[@Xenozillex]

@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 depends on your state if prenups work. And women, depending on their age, are more or less chameleons. They will be pleasant up until marriage, where they have full power in the outcome of the relationship.

[@williamwood6159]

This is pure gold. Video after video your are delivering actionable expertise. I lost my way. Needy, seeking validation, scarcity, addicted to the wrong things, and in love with a facade. I lost the things I used to do intuitively. These videos are a reminder. I’m the Captain. You can get on board or don’t. It’s an enjoyable ride as long as you are decent human!

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

I don't approach women but it's not due to cowardice. It's just not worth it anymore. All my relationships have failed because I was trying to have an equal, balanced dynamic, just like you said. I didn't know what women REALLY wanted. Now it's too late.

[@rayrwyr]

Why too late? You ran out of women?

[@masterTigress96]

As Orion noted in another episode: experience and wisdom, comes to you, after you needed it. And as Orion noted in another episode: Your greatest teacher in life, is failure, as it is a signal that your idea of reality is out of touch with *objective* reality. It is never too late when you're still alive. Money can be replenished, as difficult as that is sometimes, but your time on this earth is finite. No amount of negotiation with God can change that. A failure is merely and opportunity for improvement. It only becomes a failure when you stop improving. The difference between a winner and a loser is only one thing, a winner understands that winning is about two questions: how bad do you really want it, and what are you willing to sacrifice in order to get it. Do not give up my man, it is not too late yet!

[@ProfWho-ut5he]

I never had that problem. I approach women for decades. However, never ever something came out of it. Most women are undateable, so it's difficult to find women to approach. The few who are awesome, feminine and attractive women, their market value is through the roof. As a result, they are always taken. Not most of the time. Always. So, you are getting older and older, and suddenly you find out that there are no attractive women left on the dating market. The thing is that there is nothing (I know of) that can be done. It just leaves you depressed and hopeless.

[@johnzenger7880]

So grateful for your mentorship. Don’t stop!

[@Grow-in-Love]

Incredible video. Thank you. I as well have suffered from offering woman an equal role in building a life together. Stepping into my own masculinity and taking control of the direction of my life has improved my life greatly. There will no longer be any offers of equality in any romantic relationship I enter.

[@fabiosantanna2047]

My wife and I have been married for 25 years, have two young boys and we have been happy with the way we slipt household and parental duties. She has recognized she is more conservator in professional matters while I am more risk taker (usually men are). So the leading role (hat) relys on each one of us depending on each "field of expertize". She is resilent, caring, give attention to details while I am more generalist that likes to see the big picture. This is why I generally start talking about roadmapping our life, but she did it often too before kids arrived. The balance is not perfect all the time but I think one thing is crucial: the belief and practice that family comes first and we trust each other will do the same. We pay a personal toll upholding this value, but it is the only way to build something lasting. At the end of the day we see our kids growing strong in healh and in values. Besides that I only hope God can grant them a chance to find a good partner in life the way I was able to find for myself.

[@doloresaquines1529]

Great post Fabio! LOVE It. You are a sensible well-balanced human being. Wishing you and your family all the best.

[@ThorMaximus]

The term “cowardice” and label of fear is 90% wrong in this instance. It’s not fear holding men back from leadership in relationships, it’s experience & confidence. Women want to date up. So, if you’re not up, you don’t qualify. But when you are up, and you’ve learned from past mistakes, you know you belong there & it was never fear that held you back. Not saying fear isn’t real. Fear is a great thing to feel when you weigh what you want vs. what you’re getting, to push yourself harder & further than thought possible. But end result is confidence. Fear is not the problem.

[@johntim3491]

Yep and the first thing that needs to happen to restore men's faith in themselves is to stop talking men down. Firstly all these gurus feeding men bs that women's biology or their "healthy" psychology is rightfully the judge over men's worth. B*llocks to that. Pseudo psychology still stuffing blue capsules down men's throats. Since when did women collectively take all the red capsules? Wake up. A generation of men raised by women eternally seeking women's approval ...and in do so giving all your god given power away. The m*trix is merely a distorted belief system. More wealth, more staus, more approval was the pill that Cypher took ... so get rid of any guru that tells you you're not good enough right now. Look inwards .... KNOW Thyself.... and begin to believe.

[@Axrover]

It's fear. Maybe u didn't have it but the vast majority do. I did.

[@johntim3491]

@@Axrover I understand....been there. Its when I realised they are just shadows made larger by our having been conditioned from nursery age to need the approval (fear the disapproval) of female carers who can't handle what it is to be male.

[@Yeetus223]

@@Axroversure, yeah it’s fear. It’s like jumping over the trenches and charging the enemy Why would you do that? Fear is holding you back because the results are stupid.

[@Axrover]

@@Yeetus223 as the Dr said. Once you improve yourself and get over your fear it's cool. I did.

[@paulpedersen2713]

Part of becoming comfortably dominant involves humor - to appreciate the drama and emotionality for what it is: a performance. Possibly an outstanding performance to be viewed not cynically or mockingly, but as a song of the female heart. But not really a component of rational decision making. Like coming out of a great movie - you have to get back to real life and decide what direction actually gets you home.

[@mr.t993]

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

[@StealthScouts]

Mad respect for anyone who has the spine to speak truth!! Keep it up!!

[@rdthaprariedawg]

I can and have fought a group of men before, because I thought I could win. You can’t win with women. By contrast, it is easier to conquer the “fear” of being alone.

[@dirtyace1668]

You can absolutely win with women but the way you win with them is not the same that you win with men. That's what men need to understand and not forget.

[@nossirrajabi4281]

The video we all needed.

[@wildbill562]

At the <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="350">5:50</a> mark, he talks about refusing to give in to a woman's emotional manipulation. I agree and practiced that for 11 years in my marriage. She never backed down. To her, it was a contest - a battle of wills. I never signed up for this. I didn't want to fight. But she enjoyed it. So don't believe it when he tells you she will eventually back down. She was content to keep fighting with me forever. I will NEVER marry again and i will NEVER live with a female again. Am I letting fear rule over me? NO. I learned my lesson.

[@randallshelman4120]

Most accurate and honest dialogue I’ve ever been privileged to watch. Thank you.

[@purplesprigs]

Trying to make ANY woman happy is like trying to "boil the ocean." It can't be done. Stop trying.

[@TTGTanner]

Take dis L

[@acardinalconsideration824]

It easy to make a woman happy. The issue lies in the fact that happiness is incredibly volatile and fleeting.

[@masterTigress96]

I disagree. Short term happiness is not impossible. It is long term happiness that you're talking about. I can't remember who said or wrote it, but I recall an old phrase saying something along the lines of: "you can give a women the world, and she will still ask for the moon". But I guess that is the issue. You shouldn't chase a womens happiness. That is her responsibility. You are in charge of your own happiness, you cannot outsource that to anyone else, and neither can she. Let go of this idea of making her happy and just focus on your own happiness. She has to follow and adapt to your frame, she has the power to walk away if she doesn't like it.

[@Ja50nkAt]

When you approach a woman with confidence she sees that confidence as you having a financial plan for your future, and if you can't deliver in the future she will divorce you. There are very few women that might possibly stay with you if you can't keep upgrading the lifestyle.

[@mtlicq]

@Ja50nkAt Correction: Change your use of the word "woman" in your entire comment, to the word "gold-digger(s)" and then, only then, your comment would be correct. (edited the grammar/spelling of _your_ I swear this thing changes it when we post)

[@Ja50nkAt]

@@mtlicq It's a spectrum but mostly all women.

[@andersnielsen6044]

You should stop approaching girls in a hooker-district.

[@Damesanglante]

"American women"

[@andersnielsen6044]

@@Ja50nkAt No. Not even close.

[@stephencostello8792]

You are literally the man who gives the simple answers. I have never been disappointed.

[@NAGAMONSTER.]

Liked the video before I even listened. Already know. Thank you.

[@lanadellhatestheclock3325]

Plenty of us females in fear as well, if that helps anyone to read here. Glad some of us are here and elsewhere trying to heal ourselves and move forward!

[@Lee-vb4dx]

It's a video about men, get out of the comments 🤡 Trying to make everything about yourselves, women !!! Smh

[@RicardoSanchez-oh6jb]

Thank you for reinforcing the ideas I have been contemplating about my past dating experiences. Even though I no longer date, I have been learning about where I got it wrong all these years. Should I ever decide to date again, at least I know how female nature works, not be afraid, and behave accordingly if the woman declines. If nothing else, I am not afraid to walk away from a woman who does not bring me peace.

[@biehpham8323]

Amen.

[@NEWONTHEBLOCKTV]

You deserve a million dollar tip brother

[@big6316]

I don't know why but I started out with no fear at all and as I got older I seem to have acquired fear. That coupled with conditioning by women to appease or be brutally punished psychologically has taken away my desire to pursue women I might get attached to. I've learned that with women there really is no winning because even if you "win" by keeping them, what you have managed to keep is a substantial drain on your finances, time and mental health. Not all of which is their fault per se but certainly is incidental to being in the game to any degree.

[@Ace.0.0.0.]

Orion, you da man! I concur with what you say. This from a 60+ yr old guy with the same woman for decades. Women want a man they can look up to. The way I relate to people, my wife among them is to be 1) polite, honest, & direct. Even when it's tough. 2) my words & actions align, even when it's tough. I am willing to forgive mistakes & the occasional bad day. I have also discovered that people are WAY more forgiving to me when I take ownership of messing up. When that happens, I acknowledge it, then I try to fix it. Be honest with people, it's better for everyone. In school, first you get the lesson, then you get the test. In life, first you get the test, then you get the lesson. And the test will be repeated until the lesson is learned.

[@BEATmyguest31]

Think I’m done with women. DEFINITELY done trying to force it. Unless you check EVERY box you a disposable to them. Unfortunately I wasn’t an inheritance baby, or picked a top 5% job for a career. So I’m already fucked. Guess it’s hobbies & dogs for me! 😁

[@Xenozillex]

just work your 9-5 diligently and pay your taxes.

[@allanmwangi2022]

Almost feel like doing the same

[@big6316]

If you aren't strong enough mentally and financially to handle an addiction to alcohol, coke, meth, or gambling and not miss a day of work you should not consider having a relationship with a woman. Marriage is for the rich and detached but they also lose big time money. For the average guy to survive women should be strictly recreational use only.

[@maxdawg]

put your head down and get to work... and spend your free time working on yourself. when you're done & on the way up with your confidence, masculinity, purpose, etc., simply get your passport and GTFO of here to find decent women.

[@Xenozillex]

@@maxdawg passport women are catching up to the standards.

[@nunyabidness117]

Very true.

[@lordinquis8r679]

Thank you, Dr. Orion!

[@AceKite00]

Exactly what i needed to hear and you listed everything i went through word for word. I only wish i knew this a few years ago, but this time things will be different. I know what i want and where I want to go; I'm no longer afraid of women leaving me.

[@phillip6083]

My biggest enemy is knowing the signs of a bad choice woman.knowing the red flags and seeing them in 90+%of women.and then choosing to not try to chat them up to get a date.

[@RuslanLagashkin]

Can you please describe some of the red flags?

[@phillip6083]

@@RuslanLagashkin women with the disnsy princess syndrome, Women who expect you to pay for everything, women who have very high body counts, every man is the issue, every boyfriend was the problem, tons of tattoos and piercings, children by multiple men and several of them I jail/prison/parole...

[@markslist1542]

I'd replace cowardice with vigilant. Feminism has turned women on men.

[@Candlelight787]

It turned them into mutant ninja turtles.

[@mtlicq]

@@Candlelight787 with rabies instead of babies

[@Candlelight787]

@@mtlicq 🤣🤣🤣 You are not wrong though...

[@defendliberty1289]

And why don't men respond, collectively? Men used to defend their country, bring down empires. Now we can not take on feminism? Really?

[@letsbereal-hd8qt]

I think you are oversimplifying. The battle of the sexes didn't just begin recently. And remarking on how damaged women are is one-sided. We are all damaged in some way. How is Feminism worse than toxic masculinity? Its more like the result of it. And while women are now conditioned to have these attitudes we object to, men are conditioned to be strong and less emotional. A lot of that on both sides does not reflect who we really are. We have to look past our flaws and their flaws and continuously construct relationships. CARPE DIEM

[@davidsisson2026]

I've been busted out before, you are exactly right.

[@hidis2000]

So much wisdom packed in this short talk. Thank you so much and happy New Year

[@aribailor3766]

Opposing fear is useful when there is a purpose. When one's sole purpose is opposing fear, one tends to bite off more they can chew.

[@_ytuser]

Thank you for fearlessly sharing your knowledge, Dr. Taraban. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone ! May our knowledge never decline, but increase more and more.☃🎄🎅🎁🎊

[@arnoldvilleneuve8397]

Always great advice. Thank you.

[@engineerofthemachine]

Great advice once again, Orion!

[@kungfujoe2136]

MEN4S GREATEST enemy is conformity just being a face in the crowd doing what society tells you doing what women tell you not examening your own life not experimenting in life love and profession

[@BxBL85]

Welcome to Japan! lmao

[@RupertMcGruber]

Truth

[@filmdude5058]

“If u dont approach its just not gonna happen for u” 😂😂😂 thats the whole point bro, checked out entirely, not because of fear for women, but because of disgust

[@chrisklaeffling1]

And again you nailed it!!

[@ayodike]

Thank you. I am empowered by this message.

[@Awesam3rd]

You've got integrity may God bless 🙏🏽 Merry Christmas 🎄🇺🇳🇺🇸

[@QuantumSqueeb]

I know I’m not afraid of women, but I’m not a fan of false allegations. She’d better be a 12/10 for me to consider approaching.

[@rayrwyr]

Keep your phone ready to record at all times. Have cameras in home and car. That wil protect you from false allegations.

[@sams4892]

While understandable that you want to protect yourself, there are ways to approach that significantly reduce the chance of false allegations in the first place, let alone doing anything that would stand up in a court of law. Be respectful and accept no as an answer and in most cases you really don't have much to worry about.

[@QuantumSqueeb]

@@sams4892 honestly, most of these women are legit dirty. I’d rather learn a new language and culture in a traditional country and find a virgin. I’d rather take my chances there. You can have these wilder beasts.

[@big6316]

@@sams4892 Then you had better add in "don't do anything that pisses them off". Even the best of them can channel Satan and do evil shit to you that only starts with lying.

[@ericandreas481]

Thank you for the PSA. So many young men need help. It took me a very long time to learn this but don't be thirsty (scarcity mindset). Please keep up the good work!

[@marekm9647]

Dziękujemy.

[@gracerules2008]

Sometimes the fear of approaching a woman is valid. If she is a coworker or she is married then if that fear motivates a man to not make any moves then that is a good thing. An uninterested female coworker can still try to get a man fired by exaggerating her story about his pursuit. She does not have to prove he is guilty like in a court of law. The company will take her side of the story to be true.

[@Ggdivhjkjl]

Such companies should expect wrongful dismissal suits.

[@Damesanglante]

Women can only do this if they are not scared of you. Never happened to me because they know i'm going to come back for vengeance. Still a cowardice issue.

[@sharonberry1958]

Work is not a meat market Leave coworkers alone.

[@alexlitt8409]

Agreed. As a mature normal woman, even if I start with a soft hello I often get a frozen man. It’s hard to meet a good man, it’s easy to filter the good men but if they don’t do anything and freeze, it really sucks for the women as well trying to connect with a good man. =[

[@wyansas]

already knew this but needed to hear it, thank you.

[@Shschulze]

Danke!

[@wack6303]

Im more afraid of false accusations rather than rejection

[@MBheli621]

Living through it currently. Except I turned a woman down and told her she needed to work on herself. She called HR on me and I’m suspended pending an investigation. Pretty wild stuff.

[@wack6303]

@@MBheli621 That's disgusting to hear. Besides blatantly lying how could she even prove anything that would be worth an investigation not that it matters, I'm sure the hr department was more than willing to exercise their misandry.

[@MBheli621]

@@wack6303 💯. Doesn’t matter my only saving grace is that she texted me and told me I hurt her feelings. I doubled down and said I was sorry she felt bad but not for what I said. The HR meeting felt like an interrogation.

[@Damesanglante]

Make her fear you for real and she'll drop the charges.

[@angelor1171]

Just yesterday while walking through the mall, I was walking past a very beautiful tall brunette trying to sell perfume. I had the urge to go up to her and strike a conversation, but those limiting voices in my head said, “ she’ll reject you and laugh at you or worse off scoff at you and make everyone else laugh at you. That maybe true or not, but the fact that I didn’t try, I’ll never know. This next time or whenever the opportunity shows it’s face, I’m going to dive in. What do I got to lose? It’s not like I know them or they pay my bills. At least, I can say that I did and crash and burn. It’s better than saying I never did that.

[@davidharrow9025]

Well women often say that you shouldn't approach them while they're working, so maybe you were right to move on. However, I'm pretty sure that rule only applies to unattractive men like me, and she would be more receptive to an attractive man. Go for it. I have always taken the safer option which is to not approach, but like you said, you will never know if one of those opportunities could have led to something more.

[@doloresaquines1529]

Angelo. Help me out here. So supposing that Girl, or Any other one, 1:32 just turned you away, why on earth would that be so traumatic?! That's Life. You miss one bus, another Will be along shortly.

[@angelor1171]

@@doloresaquines1529 Ironically, I’m 5 star Uber and Lyft driver and I talk to people all day likes it nothing. There’s nothing traumatic about it. You’re right. You get rejected or not, life still goes on.

[@doloresaquines1529]

@@angelor1171 Thank you Angelo. I suppose, for all kinds of reasons, some have low Self confidence, or find social interaction difficult, or perceive themselves as "unattractive". I notice a poster said he was unattractive. I wish someone would describe What "unattractive" actually means. Or What they think It means! Many Sadly think their worth is based solely on money, fancy district etc. These guys Sadly find moronic shallow ill-mannered women online. Online is definitely the wrong place to look! All the best to you and safe driving!

[@angelor1171]

@@davidharrow9025 Suppose it’s true that attractive men are more likely to get a woman, they can easily ruin their chances by their behavior or lack there of. How do you know what is attractive to a woman? What’s one thing to a woman maybe something else to another. If you groom yourself, wear decent nice clothes and take care of your body, then I think that you would be attractive to most woman. If you work on your character and develop yourself, then you’re unstoppable. Anyway, I hope that helps.

[@GreatRetro]

Thanks, Doc! I needed to hear this!

[@benthleydorcin6160]

I was screaming at my phone in praise of this video. Thank you very much, sir.

[@williamxchau]

We have it tough as men, as you age, it’s not easy to keep gather more money and more status and higher up in the corporate ladder to keep women feeling that they are dating “up” 😂 I’m almost 40 now, and yes you are right, I am afraid to approach girls these days, but it’s different to when I was young, fear or rejection or fear of her saying no, actually I could over come that before. Knowing that women always wanna date UP. Now it’s more I’m afraid she finds out how much I have in the bank, how much is my salary, what I do for a living, which neighbourhood I live in, etc etc. This type of fear is even more crippling than the fear of rejection one.

[@doloresaquines1529]

William. A question as I am perplexed by this nosiness about money, wages etc. What kind of rude ill,,-,mannered woman would ask a man about his finances? Where I am from, Europe, no woman of Any quality would ask such a question. Keep away from woman like that and stay off the Dating apps!!!

[@mossig]

This is a semantic question. Why do you express your self, relationship wise in a pluralistic way(past tense)? If you found the way to have a great relationship, how come it didn't last?

[@marguskiis7711]

I ask the same.

[@0000FFz]

Pretty sure dudes got mad hoes and as he says lets them just come and go

[@puppetmaster8514]

Hope the following helps someone in regards to fear of approaching/leading women; The fear you hold is simply a reflection of how you feel about yourself. It is NOT about her, nor is it about her rejecting you. Simply put, try to not things others do to you personally. It helps for me to repeat the phrase "its not about you, her rejecting you is about her". Women reject based on their preferences, not wether you are "worthy" or not. You are worthy enough to go out and approach women.

[@hforyounow]

Sir? BRING IT!! US MEN NEED TO HEAR THIS! Please for the love of God: Do not let up on such content! I wish I knew such things and add access to such content. Such wasted time and I’m approaching 65!😢Guys, do not end up like myself: Listen to such content: LISTEN! And more importantly: Take it in!

[@zirvster2011]

thank you for all your videos Orion. This stuff is gold

[@SuperSaverPlays]

it's not cowardice if it's based on reality and experience

[@Bazzguit]

Thank you Orion.

[@9525joe]

Orion for president!

[@user-gw9vu6hz8l]

Oh I'm a coward now. A COWARD???!!! Yeah. Like knowing the "truth" about myself is gonna "help" me now.

[@GoldenMushroom64]

😂

[@jambajoby32]

Me fighting 3 men is not the same as facing an emotional woman

[@ainsleycrawford4221]

Indeed. Great message overall, but there are plenty of cowardly men who easily dominate and boss around women. Doesn't mean they'd defend their people from a bunch of threatening men.

[@maxdawg]

fighting 3 men, you could lose your life. facing an emotional woman should be a joke to you... and quite honestly, you shouldn't be taking them that seriously anyway.

[@jambajoby32]

@@maxdawg I would fight for my life against 3 men if I had to but I wouldn’t do it for a woman especially since my real-world experience has shown she starts it

[@steverussell9340]

Right on point there fella.After many years in a no sex marriage and reaching my mid sixties the thought of being alone trumps any confrontation which may lead to separation is too daunting….that’s cowardice!

[@Padronfan]

This is the first holiday, that I started to see the benefit of holding the line against emotionality. It took years, but the social dynamics are so much better because of it. I’m actually looking forward to future holidays now

[@paulcharumbira7927]

This was very accurate, I started a relationship where the woman was in awe of me, she respected me and in her own words, "held me in high regard". Why? Because I was entirely in control and doing what I wanted, I was assertive. But I didn't understand this, I fell in love and got affectionate, emotional. I was way too considerate and caved into her interests too many times and stopped growing myself. Not long, she lost all sense of respect for me and thought I was a worshipping simp, she suddenly decided I was unattractive and went so far as telling me about a better guy she was attracted to who was very passive. She's still chasing him today. Learnt the hard way, don't change yourself for a woman. Women should try themselves to fit into your totally awesome, self determined path in life. BE THE MAN, HAVE THE FINAL SAY.

[@STRAGGLER36]

Oh how I wish I'd known you 40 years ago. It wasn't until I was 45 years that I actually understood how women work. And what a coward I had been through two marriages.

[@NordicHyperborean]

What most men out there in the West especially need to hear. Stand up straight, grow a pair, and work on being a man every man wants to be and every woman wants to be with. You pursue this trust me women do their recon and men and will want and continue to want to be with you

[@Atlantis1789]

One if the greatest lessons from Rhett Butler to Scarlett Ohara in Gone With The Wind: " frankly my dear i dont give a damn" Then he walked out

[@YouilAushana]

This is like "integrate your shadow", stuff! Having a sociopath as a mother really screwed up my sense of complete emotional understanding.

[@KJ-pu8dw]

@YouilAushana_Not all women are your mother. But many women have become highly narcisstic.

[@mikenickelson4132]

Such an amazing content. I'll support you regularly from now on!. Thank you, elder brother 😊

[@MrToomanytoys]

Absolutely spot on.. I have lost myself in the relationship.. now due to the disrespect she has for me and hence that she doesn't really love me.. I am totally done.. all hope is gone and even despite how "nice" she was over Xmas, it was just a game.. further disrespect with false kindness.. it's done now.. nothing will change, it's too late... So choose confidence rather than cowardness, be strong and hold firm. Finally to be courageous to stand up for my values and move on.. thank you