This is an episode for the ladies. As I've mentioned elsewhere, the one thing you must never do to the man with whom you want to have a relationship is disrespect him. Unfortunately, respect can mean different things to men and women -- so it's important for women to appreciate respect through the masculine lens so that they can stay on the sunny side of the unbreakable rule. The fact of the matter is that women unintentionally sabotage their relationships when they disrespect men without realizing it. As we'll see, most of these unintentional slights have to do with placing themselves above men. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #dating
@sammyb16519 ай бұрын
This video is fundamentally wrong-headed anyway. Women breezily disrespect men all the time but it's not really what is at the heart of the matter. The problem of disrespect is downstream of a more significant issue and that is the horrendous mismatch in requirements between male and female partners. Women have a huge laundry list of reasons for getting into a relationship with a man. They view a man as an endless performer of tasks. Men have practically zero requirements of a female partner and seek a relationship mainly for intimacy. The solipsistic idea women have in their head of all the tasks a man should be performing/ways in which he should be "behaving" (essentially in support of her and her objectives) renders many of them unable to act respectfully. This is because-in many regards-the idea of his being sovereign and independent is completely in conflict with the myriad acts of service she wants him for in the first place. This is women's problem to resolve. It's not a man's fault. The 'respect' thing is dealing with the symptoms, not the cause.
@Alexxx4929 ай бұрын
@@sammyb1651this video is in a series of videos for “attracting the man you want” and he usually is a high value man. If I woman is overtly disrespectful and is not interested sex with you, she doesn’t really want you. Move on 😅
@tarothijadevenus40179 ай бұрын
Ok Orion, I’m here to learn about power ☺️🙏🏻
@TristanOlsonKnowledge9 ай бұрын
Dr. Orion, I'm glad I've tried to do the difficult work of understanding my own faults as a man these last three years, or i would have been triggered AF by this episode. Maybe I'm just in a particularly good mood today 😂. But - DAMN. I wish my ex could watch this and not instantly go an insane raging murderous defensive, as she would, though she would absolutely never make it past the first minute. At least it helped me, and i still think that your compassion for EVERYONE is very touching. As always, 🙏🏻 thank you sir 🫡
@sami.19839 ай бұрын
The way Orion lays this out is some kind of coping mechanism for men who are not high value men. Not sure why Orion want to sugar coat the truth to men. Women are INCREASINGLY filling the provider role of men which was UNIQUELY a male role for a millennia. If women are ( and rapidly at that) out providing and being equal to men in providing then men in ROMANTIC relationships with women , men are going to be disregarded and/or not needed. Providing is essential part of power and love for a woman. If a woman can fill your unique role then you're replacable. Most companies practice this in the real world. Orion needs to cut to the chase and stop obfuscting because it makes his audience feel better. It's the reason for why women initiate more divorces (70%) and why the sexless rate for men is near 33%. I'm not for or against anything but as women start out earning men (Goldman Sachs predicts in 10 years) the sexlessness for men will probably creep higher.
@Dru2maBoii9 ай бұрын
You can only fully respect what you fear to lose. If there's no fear of potential loss, there's usually no restraint...
@MOTV5839 ай бұрын
Doesn't marriage sorta remove that fear of loss for a woman? Many women switch up after they get the ring and can stop pretending to be respectful.
@Dru2maBoii9 ай бұрын
@MOTV583 Any form of commitment where you can't just walk away removes that fear. That's why it's not in a man's best interest to get married. Let alone the financial risk.
@advaitgogte63859 ай бұрын
These words should be inscribed in gold
@marriagecausesdivorce75409 ай бұрын
💯% nailed it. Disrespect only seeps in when she doesn't want you anymore. This video should really be on why disrespect if the first step on the road to the end of the relationship.
@canelareina37959 ай бұрын
In your childhood you respected your father, your principal, your sports coach, your pastor. It wasn't about being afraid of losing them.
@marriagecausesdivorce75409 ай бұрын
I think the fundamental problem with this video is that if she is disrespecting you she doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't disrespect her boss because she wants her job and the money. Disrespect is the first step on the journey to the end of the relationship.
@marcusmcgraw35199 ай бұрын
And that’s why I treat the women im around poorly. Because I never wanted them to begin with, which explains why they all crush on me
@santafilipina90209 ай бұрын
@@marcusmcgraw3519 stupid flex
@delocon9 ай бұрын
That's why this video is (I believe) addressed to women, but secretly for men. I think a lot of men don't even recognize that many of these are forms of subtle disrespect, and when they recognize these behaviors in their women, will clear the fog from their eyes regarding what is actually going on and why they feel so "off" when speaking to their woman. They can then take action. A lot, (myself formerly included) had no idea they were being disrespected and were taught (thanks Dad...) that this is the way it is.
@delocon9 ай бұрын
That's why this video is (I believe) addressed to women, but secretly for men. I think a lot of men don't even recognize that many of these are forms of subtle disrespect, and when they recognize these behaviors in their women, will clear the fog from their eyes regarding what is actually going on and why they feel so "off" when speaking to their woman. They can then take action. A lot, (myself formerly included) had no idea they were being disrespected and were taught (thanks Dad...) that this is the way it is.
@marriagecausesdivorce75409 ай бұрын
@@santafilipina9020 For some reason, women tend to love these narcissitic, bad boy types. My only reasoning is that its a demonstration of higher value (DHV). There is obvious evolutionary benefits to women who mate with a male who is of a higher value. Its genetics.
@actiondefence9 ай бұрын
My ex partner (mother of my kids, 16 year relationship) used to disrespect me, I put it to her this way and she had no response. Would you treat your boss the way you treat me? No of course not because your don't want to lose your job. Would you treat a shop worker the way you treat me? No of course not because that would make you an arse. Would you treat a stranger on the street the way you treat me? No of course not because you don't want to risk a punch in the teeth. Then why treat me like that? Why am I worth less to you than a stranger in the street? Why is your boss or even a shop worker worth more than me? I realised it at the time but it took me years to properly understand it.
@zphzrhzraefoiaj49749 ай бұрын
I am in the same situation, brother (divorce on the way, 17 yrs, kids), and actually told her in the exact same way : you wouldn't talk to a stranger or a colleague that way, so don't talk to me that way. This was also met with deflection or silence. Did she ever answer in your case ?
@Dronetothetop9 ай бұрын
@@zphzrhzraefoiaj4974 I totally and wholeheartedly agree with you brother.
@actiondefence8 ай бұрын
@@zphzrhzraefoiaj4974 yeah she did, long time later. She said she knew I wouldn't do anything about it. There was no consequences. So this means it was intentional.. I didn't know how to have a relationship, I didn't know about boundaries.
@zphzrhzraefoiaj49748 ай бұрын
@@actiondefenceThe level of disrespect, dude.
@onebridge72317 ай бұрын
@@actiondefence She was wrong. You stated originally she is now your ex. Consequences come swiftly when that switch flips in a man when he hits rock bottom and has had enough. He either self deletes, explodes in anger, or mans up and decides to be the one to end the relationship and take back control of his life.
@allenlin73339 ай бұрын
when women disrespect you during the initial dating period, it's a form a "shit test". If the disrespect happens while you are in a relationship, it usually means she has lost attraction/desire for you, which usually cannot be reversed, and should be treated as a sign for breaking up.
@marriagecausesdivorce75409 ай бұрын
💯% nailed it. Disrespect if a sign that she no longer sees any value in you hence the disrespect. Its the first step on the journey to the end of the relationship.
@aalvarez3059 ай бұрын
A shit test is not disrespectful. Disrespect is the same no matter the phase of the relationship. When it arrives, enforce boundaries harshly ie. Acta non verba.
@gameon20009 ай бұрын
@@aalvarez305Wrong! Shit test = blatant disrespect as in habing nonfear of losing such a man = no sexual desire! This is why we need to stop enabling / compkying with this whole "a shit test is a sign of interest" bs by tolerating even the mere toxic concept of admitting a shit test in the first place. It's fake history! At no point in time before feminism a woman dared to shit test a man. At the very least she was immediately left behind to die from starvation. More often than not she was just bitchslapped silly or even stoned to death for the slightest disrespect. Same with fake evolution based theories. Back in the day women were bought and sold like cattle, some time back even just taken by force a.k.a. = r.a.p.e.d (the very need for euphemistic sugarcoating things when we speak to / about women online is zhe proof of "patriarchy" being the opposite from the true state of things, being just a false narrative. Before like 1919 not a single woman could even think of shit testing a man. In most countries a.k.a. 3rd world even today the very concept of a shit test is alien to local women.
@Tgogators9 ай бұрын
That's something I've noticed (gender doesn't;t matter) when one person wants to end the relationship. They start becoming meaner and disrespectful (usually by way of breaking their routine: not texting back the whole day, etc) , or the pull a ghosting act ("act" not total ghosting). What is likely happening is that they don't want to be the bad guy, so they're hoping their negligence will prompt you to break it off, or they hope this will spur anger in you, so you have an outburst towards them and they can justify breaking it off and/or they break it off and don't feel as guilty because you did something mean too.
@Flomcy9 ай бұрын
You know what....this we supposed to do all men in a relationship, when a disrespect starts, is not way back.... If I would knew it.. I never stand a relationships so toxic... Great comment
@therealsagekitty8 ай бұрын
Men don’t need ask permission, but relationships is voluntary action. If you do not care about whether what you do would impact anyone, do not check with the woman, the woman also have the right to walk away.
@bgredz12 ай бұрын
@@therealsagekitty That goes without saying and the marriage stats show they do. However, this video is about not disrespecting the man you choose to stay with.
@edheldude9 күн бұрын
@@bgredz1 You misunderstand, everything is about the ladies in the gynocentric world order.
@endcgm92779 ай бұрын
I left my ex due to her disrespect. I agree with others here that, when she begins disrespecting you, it’s because she doesn’t love (if she ever did) or desire you anymore. Time to move on.
@rob219 ай бұрын
The good doc takes things a little far, but your comment is on point. Once she treats you like a child, it's time to move on.
@nwjh19579 ай бұрын
A woman cannot love a man she doesn't respect. It's not psychologically possible. But moving from 'no respect' to active disrespect move the dynamic to a new level of 'no love.'
@nwjh19579 ай бұрын
@@rob21 Sometimes you need a little parody to drive home the point!
@HJ-su1zx9 ай бұрын
I did the nasty... move on...i never regretted the decision..and i gave a 2 year warning...of my intentions
@qua77719 ай бұрын
Media creates false explanations for them. They discover this after we leave them, and move on. They usually call wanting back in as if nothing happened. The trouble is doing the same things expecting different results. Life is too short.
@georgeedward12267 ай бұрын
Disrespecting men is encouraged vigorously these days.
@loganblackwood29229 ай бұрын
I remember listening to a reddit story about a woman that told her son about his dad wetting the bed. I was confused and thought "So what, every man likely wet the bed as a kid." Until I realised she wasn't talking about when he was a kid. He withdrew from her and was clearly upset and she was angry with him for being upset with her. When she demanded he talk to her, he told her she humiliated him in front of their son and she viciously snapped back that he embarassed himself when he wet the bed. I cannot fathom how this woman could possibly fail to see the disrespect in her initial willingness to share such an embarassing thing with a child, whom might at some point tell his mates, who will tell their mates who will tell their parents. Then to humiliate him a second time for being upset. Some women are hopeless.
@marcusmcgraw35199 ай бұрын
Eh, he wet the bed as an adult. I would expect someone to repeat that to others. One time, my friend got mad at me that I told our mutual friends that he got caught stealing He was mad at me for humiliating him as well, but I told him he embarrassed himself by getting caught stealing in front of me. How can I blame myself for this? I was correct, just as this woman was
@loganblackwood29229 ай бұрын
@@marcusmcgraw3519One is voluntary, the other is not. He didn't choose to leak all over. 😂
@bdtrap9 ай бұрын
@marcusmcgraw3519 How can you blame yourself??? Because you took action, and the action that you took embarrassed your friend. Literally all you had to do was nothing. 🤦♂️
@KingofKings0219 ай бұрын
@@marcusmcgraw3519bro what are you on. Those are completely different examples. Take a chill pill from the Internet dude. Holy delusional. He was probably asleep when he wet the bed, I’d imagine. Stealing is a literal crime last time I checked, while conscious unless that person was drugged or something. We live in America, last time I checked there’s a lot of people who prolly are broke or starving. Have some morals dude. That’s something you tell your friend privately, to save his soul. Jesus Man you’re on one.
@marcusmcgraw35199 ай бұрын
@@bdtrapbut my friend embarrassed himself. How do you think I felt about the fact that 2 plainclothes men escorted us to the back as we were leaving (though they did let me go immediately)? I knew I could not trust my friend after that. If this had been the other way around, I would expect my friend to embarrass me and tell others I got caught. Wouldn’t you?
@Alex-xc1xl9 ай бұрын
I actually just realised, when I was growing up, noone was talking about women 'respecting' men. Only the other way round.
@Dinoslay9 ай бұрын
Its almost like men have been raised to simp for women and obey their huge list of conditions without question.
@smartcookie35009 ай бұрын
R-E-S-P-E-C-T...they even wrote songs about it.
@Dinoslay9 ай бұрын
Yes, there’s clearly a double standard.
@rhuiden40867 ай бұрын
A symptom of gynocentric society
@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat6 ай бұрын
This was the start of the downfall of America.
@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT9 ай бұрын
It’s important to vet potential relationship partners for narcissism. You do this by seeing how they react and respond to disagreements and stressful situations. Men need to avoid beautiful narcissists! Exhibit a) Johnny Depp
@Vision-dd8fl9 ай бұрын
I experienced this recently, would go into a rage at any sign of criticism or setting of boundaries
@marriagecausesdivorce75409 ай бұрын
💯% nailed it. You only really know your partner when you see her in arguments and other stressful situations.
@marcusmcgraw35199 ай бұрын
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540and that’s why it’s seen as a red flag for someone to avoid arguments. They’re avoiding because they’re incapable of winning or influencing in their favor
@munequa819 ай бұрын
This is very important these days. There are a lot of snakes in the grass.
@AnAussieinNorway9 ай бұрын
She was borderline
@Diego-fb5fq9 ай бұрын
Remember what they used to tell women about domestic violence: One hit and you leave, or to confront it by saying "one more and I'm out of here." For women, with less physical strength, DISRESPECT is the equivalent of that first hit, and if you accept it, you are floating downstream in the relationship and will have to confront it immediately to get back to neutral. "Did you just MEAN to disrespect me? Because if you did, I'm out of here." Imagine what you would tell your daughter to do in such a situation of violence, and then apply it to yourself about disrespect.
@corym.johnson72419 ай бұрын
Brilliant, well said.
@Diego-fb5fq9 ай бұрын
I'm dealing with trying to help a young woman find a new apartment, as she just told me yesterday that her brother is hitting her and her little daughters. And I had thought this was an ideal family! Who knows what lurks? And I have to consider how to avoid becoming a target myself.
@canelareina37959 ай бұрын
In the video his examples of disrespect include eye rolling. Of course she meant it as disrespect. She didn't mean it as a complement. Youre going to divorce her for an eye roll a d a crossing of the arms?
@user-fe3yo1mh2f9 ай бұрын
@canelareina3795 no but every man should have a ledge and make a certain amount of strikes. But it's cheaper to keep her if he signed that horrible business contract called marriage.
@rgn876549 ай бұрын
I do this, and tbh, if you try that with most women they don't care. They are disrespecting you because they don't respect you, so the threat of you leaving won't matter. So, true to your word, you leave. Basically, after the first fight or disagreement, you are gone. I mean I don't care, but if you do, I would try something else.
@onebridge72317 ай бұрын
She settled. She has no burning desire for her man; therefore, she spews her misery onto her man. Never stay with a woman who has no desire for you. It’s a miserable way to live. Divorce or break up and walk no matter the financial or emotional cost because it’s a man’s duty to always self improve and live a life of positivity. Otherwise the man will become extremely bitter over time which never ends well.
@RyanPatrickFlanagan9 ай бұрын
I just sent this video to every woman I know. If I disappear please contact the authorities! Great stuff Doctor. Thanks as always!
@buyakshaklak64649 ай бұрын
Get your balls back bro, stay strong
@dithermoreno32119 ай бұрын
You still alive, bro?
@RyanPatrickFlanagan9 ай бұрын
@@dithermoreno3211 No! I made it to the afterlife! They have WiFi up here! Crazy! 🤣
@PapaBear6t89 ай бұрын
@@RyanPatrickFlanagan Are there women too in the afterlife? 😱 😂🤣
@RyanPatrickFlanagan9 ай бұрын
@@PapaBear6t8 Shocker alert- yes they are here! And this will make your jaw drop - they like to cook and clean here!!! 😆 LoL!
@soaringeagle95979 ай бұрын
I left my ex-wife for being constantly disrespectful. Oh, and for cheating, but mostly it was the disrespect. The many and varied small ways that she would show disrespect, as well as overt disrespect like shouting in my face or interrupting me when I was speaking. We had many conversations about respect but she never did quite grasp how to be respectful, nor did she understand why it was important to me. I remember her saying at one point "all you talk about is respect this and respect that" like she really couldn't understand why her being so disrespectful was a problem for me. I had to walk away when she made it clear she had no intention of changing how she treated me. I'll always remember the shocked look on her face when I took my ring off and put it on the table next to her before walking away. That's the only way of dealing with a combative and disrespectful woman. Don't fight, don't argue, just walk away.
@miamihurricaner59119 ай бұрын
The disrespect was the precursor to the cheating.
@Willie_Wahzoo9 ай бұрын
Cheating is one of the ultimate forms of disrespect.
@soaringeagle95979 ай бұрын
@@Willie_Wahzoo Agreed. I'm grateful that she imploded our relationship because it allowed me to walk away without guilt. It's been a bit over two years since I left and I'm doing 10,000% better in every conceivable way now without her constantly dragging me down.
@Alpinewild4449 ай бұрын
you deserved better, we all do (did). i’m working on not bringing the past forward, it isn’t fair to my new partner…so far he seems a good man i can trust.
@soaringeagle95979 ай бұрын
@@Alpinewild444 I wish you all the best.
@luckyjayakody9 ай бұрын
Disrespect is a massive deal breaker. That's the end of the road. Nothing to discuss any further.
@deniseprovost43198 ай бұрын
Cheating is a massive deal breaker, verbal/physical abuse is a deal breaker, Controlling behavior is a deal breaker, Inequality is massive deal breaker
@leedlbagginshield84929 ай бұрын
Women enjoy a double standard when it comes to this issue: If a woman hits a man, it’s displayed as playful or “she had a good reason for it”. Also, a lot of men refuse to stand up for themselves and speak out against disrespect out of the fear of losing their gf or wife. However, women only respect men who have boundaries and communicate them. Remember: You get what you allow! Btw, this goes to women as well. Adding + Women will test their partners on how much disrespect they tolerate. This is how they filter out weak men and I think it happens unconsciously to some extend. This is just a hypothesis - debate me on it.
@allenlin73339 ай бұрын
agree with you on the last part. women like to test their men to find the boundaries, and this is actually how they end up losing men. he has made a video specifically about this self-sabotaging behavior of women.
@Mel-cc9vr9 ай бұрын
🎯
@leedlbagginshield84929 ай бұрын
@@Diego-fb5fqexactly. I know that men test women as well to see how far they can go. It’s important to recognise these actions and act on them.
@thech8zen19 ай бұрын
Like children they will always try to see what they can get away with. Best way is to nip it in the bud before it turns into a major problem. You also have to control your reaction. Some times men will make the mistake of getting overly emotional when trying to address these issues but if you get butthurt about it she will sense weakness as well. So when you do address the issue do it in a calm/unaffected manner.
@lukmanalghdamsi31899 ай бұрын
it's a known fact and its name is the shit test
@MonDieuMaCauseMonEpee9 ай бұрын
Respect comes from POSSIBILITY OF CONSEQUENCES.
@canelareina37959 ай бұрын
True. And the conseqyences are not only to break up. We need a. Hannel by an older married man that teaches how to wear the pants at home.
@jeancesar54939 ай бұрын
not intirely true you can respect someone by admirering theire accoplishments
@MonDieuMaCauseMonEpee9 ай бұрын
@jeancesar5493 Admiration, is not Respect. Just as liking someone is not loving them. I can admire someone's rank or title and have no respect for them.
@canelareina37959 ай бұрын
@@MonDieuMaCauseMonEpee interesting. I thi k a wife needs to admire her husband, and fear consequences if she disrespects him.
@detroitMC3139 ай бұрын
Have to train them like 🐕🐶🐾.
@ChrisPTY5079 ай бұрын
This video reminds me of one of your previous videos and a quote that really stuck with me: 'Catering to a woman's emotionality against your better judgment is a form of cowardice born out of a scarcity mentality.' Men, stand your ground and establish healthy boundaries. If she fails to comply and resorts to disrespect, bail. It's as simple as that. We have to learn to respect ourselves if we expect to be respected by others.
@AJ-ru3gl9 ай бұрын
Great take here 🔥🔥🔥
@ArmyWolves9 ай бұрын
This reminds of a KZbin comment of a man who told his ex wife when she asked why he ultimately divorced her and he answered, "in the end you made me choose between loving you and respecting myself and I chose to respect myself."
@anthonyml79 ай бұрын
To put it more simply, it's false virtue. Bc what you think your doing is helping her but rather your enabling her. She's worse for it and so are you, if that pattern of behavior continues the question is who's going to realize it first and end things so they can actually win. Bc it sure as hell isn't going to happen in that kind of a relationship.
@ChrisPTY5079 ай бұрын
@@anthonyml7 I disagree. The notion behind my comment is not to remain and enable the disrespect. I clearly state to “establish healthy boundaries, and If she fails to comply and resorts to disrespect, bail“ There won’t be any room for her to continue the BS if you put your foot down and leave.
@psyience32139 ай бұрын
Spot on. What a sad state of society that man are simply asking to not be disrespected, forget about respect, just don't disrespect us.
@C_Masi10 күн бұрын
Right!?
@masterTigress969 ай бұрын
Excellent video as always Dr. Taraban, but my goodness... what a sad world we live in where a professional therapist has to explain this to people. Your work is more needed then ever, keep it up.
@TheAustrianPainter879 ай бұрын
The previous gen failed their daughters. And this current Gen will fail theirs.
@eunanavesani60749 ай бұрын
@@TheAustrianPainter87yep. Its obvious. Kids raising kids.
@Conceived19909 ай бұрын
In respects to women, many may respect a man consciously while inadvertently disrespecting him subconsciously. In other words, it is crucial to note why men should never pedestalize women regardless of reciprocity because men and women are not equal by any means and ultimately abide by different standards and different expectations.
@AlbaF-i6p9 ай бұрын
I agree, but that's one of the reasons we must be careful to whom we speak or tell anything, now not being mystic bible says if anyone tells you a secret must die with you, would be different if in this case (he) is the one who tells his story. Good friend of mine once told me that sometimes not even to our children we can tell everything. And unfortunately this woman has no values no respect for her husband.
@user-mm7jn6bh6l9 ай бұрын
Da fuck you saying we are not equal 😄 wake up it’s 2024 not fuckin middle age
@BrieBrie-hf9nb2 ай бұрын
Your right I think and explain that really well I think we need to check ourselves with the men we love and admire in our lives
@turnerEturnal9 ай бұрын
I like the fact you dont edit out the little hiccups in the videos. Makes it feel more genuine and direct which adds to the weight of the message. Thank you for everything you do
@jzen14559 ай бұрын
Disrespect comes down to lack of trust. I've dated women who've second guessed my decisions in various ways, which felt like she didn't trust my opinion. I dated someone who would ask my opinion and dismiss it only to later tell me her therapist said something groundbreaking, which was the same thing I told her a few weeks prior. Another woman I dated felt like dating an overbearing knit-picking micromanaging mother.
@devorahacts9 ай бұрын
Yep definitely a bad fit. It's definitely important on the front end to look for somebody with complimentary abilities, that way your ideas don't step on each other that much.
@roberttruman84449 ай бұрын
Damn that's disturbing. I can fully relate to that with a few ex girlfriends, and of course my mother, obviously🙄 We sure know how to pick them 🤔
@jzen14559 ай бұрын
@@roberttruman8444 I keep dating women who are like my mother! grr. That cycle ends NOW!
@aviyahchaverim93888 ай бұрын
Women are not responsible for a man's' self esteem, she can build and encourage but men need to know and respect themselves for the most part. If you felt the information shared would deem helpful albeit it was not taken, its should not cause you to feel your information was off, she simply didn't see it as something fitting her situation. I'd ask you where you are in your own journey of self esteem. Women can and do make choices for themselves. Most times a women is more intuitive than men. It's just the way we're created.
@amyjames67917 ай бұрын
Very true. I only question when I don’t trust them.
@mgu1N1n19 ай бұрын
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
@RyanFowlerSOS9 ай бұрын
Don't you mean "ex-partner"?
@mgu1N1n19 ай бұрын
@@RyanFowlerSOS I believe you are correct. Thank you for the grammar correction.
@RyanFowlerSOS9 ай бұрын
@@mgu1N1n1 you're welcome my man.
@ironxYT9 ай бұрын
Getting a permanent one is pretty difficult without hefty proof so I hope you’re okay
@timcarpenter73999 ай бұрын
Partner? Why these programmed buzzwords. No one said “partner” even 10 years ago. Are you in a “partnership” or a relationship?
@fps66129 ай бұрын
Everything I just heard is completely true. Years of analysis, research, psychology, logic are summarize in here. Congratulations!
@glumeciupia72179 ай бұрын
Ouch. Maybe its time to start using that brainmatter to form some own thoughts. It wasnt meant to feed and repeat yn...
@glumeciupia72179 ай бұрын
Ouch. Maybe its time to start using that brainmatter to form some own thoughts. It wasnt meant to feed and repeat yn...
@SteveJones3799 ай бұрын
Men need to own themselves, be soverign. This may/will come with some consequence, but better to go alone. Time alone will turn the tables.
@charlesfinnegan79309 ай бұрын
Protect thy seed
@susanhaines73587 ай бұрын
Absolutely. Men need to be men in a relationship. I have seen more men act like a unkempt human than I care to believe. Women need to stop being mothers. That man was a man before you met him. Sickening to see women picking up after grown men and buying their deodorant 😮 like what???? He is not a child!!!
@katelynndougherty8 ай бұрын
I just found this channel today and I am so glad I did. I especially appreciate this episode, it has helped me realize so much about my own toxicity. Thank you for sharing!
@1975normal9 ай бұрын
I have experienced too much disrespect from my wife. Thank you for sharing this very important information
@whocarescrapsa9 ай бұрын
Ladies, have you ever found yourself in a situation where your man makes a mistake and gets lost? Perhaps you've suggested that he ask a stranger for directions, only to be surprised by his response. Ever wonder why your well-intentioned suggestion doesn't elicit the reaction you anticipated? Picture this: You've prepared a meal for your family, a task you've mastered countless times. However, this time, a distraction causes you to burn the rice. You know you've made a mistake, and so does your husband. Everyone is aware of your culinary skills. Suddenly, your husband stands up, heads outside, flags down the first woman he sees, and invites her into your home to teach you how to cook rice. The reaction you'd have in that situation is likely the same as your partner's when you make a similar suggestion to him. In both cases, the respectful approach is to give your partner the space to rectify their mistake.
@Maruwasa9 ай бұрын
Good example - 😂😂. Have been through that one. Is this the right way she challenged…
@PieFaceMcGee9 ай бұрын
Great analogy, couldn’t have stated it any better myself!
@fwoodbridge9 ай бұрын
Well put!
@IAmTheEggMan1119 ай бұрын
Bravo mate
@zphzrhzraefoiaj49749 ай бұрын
Great analogy. Stealing it.
@bokvarlan9 ай бұрын
Great job doctor. As always, serving the hard truth. You are doing a great service to man kind!
@bluewater4549 ай бұрын
I’m disagreeing with some of this. If you are in a legally binding, committed relationship, you are equally obligated out of respect for each other to at least inform the other - if not ask permission to do certain activities. In a marriage relationship particularly, you are no longer obligated only to yourself and your own time. It is not just about you anymore. If either my wife or I are going to spend the night out with friends, we always inform the other, at least to see if they had any plans that might conflict with our own. We usually don’t have any problems with this, but schedules can conflict and it is just a matter of mutual respect that we consider the other when making plans. Just another perspective.
@pattibase22939 ай бұрын
Thank you for pointing this out. If a relationship operates like an employer/employee situation I think it is doomed to fail.
@bluebutterfly50629 ай бұрын
Exactly, you're talking common sense. Many women disrespect men in these ways, because many men expect authority, even if it is at the expense of those they are meant to protect.
@lynnferry2919 ай бұрын
I totally agree with you, but Orion says in the beginning that this is advice for women who would like to be in a long-term relationship with a man.
@bluewater4549 ай бұрын
@@lynnferry291 I don’t see that it matters if you are a man or woman in this scenario. Respect goes both ways.
@lynnferry2919 ай бұрын
@@bluewater454 I agree with you there, too. If this advice is directed towards women, you need to take it up with Orion. I totally agree that respect is a two-way street and that marriage/a committed relationship has different rules than people who are dating.
@motherearth60649 ай бұрын
If a woman is trying to micro manage you…..RUN!
@RasKalevthesouljourner9 ай бұрын
this!
@DareBearTD9 ай бұрын
What is meant by micro managing?
@jzen14559 ай бұрын
@@DareBearTD Basically calling all the shots and expecting nearly everything to go her way. She dictates things like how and when dishes are washed. Basically the more she acts like an overbearing mother, the more you must think about running away.
@varmastiko29089 ай бұрын
There is still a big issue here. You are still expecting the man to do the running.
@abeycee74279 ай бұрын
probably should be held in all directions -- anybody trying to micromanage -- men or women, hetero or same sex relationships -- anybody too managing -- no good.
@zphzrhzraefoiaj49749 ай бұрын
Great episode. You absolutely nailed it: I perceived all three mentioned behaviors are disrespectful and they always led to a more or less intense pushback and negative reaction on my end. Now that I'm soon to be divorced, I can't believe that I tolerated those repeated offenses for so long.
@tommiller71779 ай бұрын
One form of disrespect is lying. Being with a female that believes her own lies ( So in her mind she is not lying) is next level b.s. . Yeah, I dumped her like last week's garbage.
@wyrlismike9 ай бұрын
Stay strong brother!
@roberttruman84449 ай бұрын
My ex had a tendency to lie through omission, which is like the 'silent-but-deadly' form. I do see it as disrespectful when they lie about things that affect you personally or the two of you as a couple. I am more understanding and forgiving if they lied to protect themselves in some way. But now I'm questioning if perhaps it's a subtle sign of disrespect if they didn't feel they could open up to me about such things?
@deniseprovost43198 ай бұрын
What about a spouse who frequently lies through omission?
@RTFLDGR9 ай бұрын
critical judgement or talking about private matters with her friends or online and talking about their BF/husband to others in any negative way is terribly disrespectful.
@doloresaquines15299 ай бұрын
RTF. I absolutely Fully agree with you there! That is a disgusting habit, gossipy and not classy. No woman of Any quality would act in that manner!
@robertfrantz47889 ай бұрын
Women know each other's sex lives. They readily share that info within their sewing circle. They don't keep secrets, except from men.
@doloresaquines15299 ай бұрын
@@robertfrantz4788 Not this woman, Robert. I can assure you. What happens within our four walls stays there. Anyhow, not much good at seeing, I fear. L.
@ravenmeyer37406 ай бұрын
Perhaps a woman has a close friend she shares with and needs input from. Also consider that age may be a factor in what women share. A seasoned woman will understand so the other woman won’t feel abnormal or in the dark about her lover and experiences. Not putting lover down, just trying to understand his intent and unstableness.
@MrVronscki9 ай бұрын
"No man has the obligation to answer to you" Worst moment to ask for a like 😂😂😂
@piecakes33277 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂 funniest comment
@level_ken52319 ай бұрын
I had an ex who was extremely jealous, and I didn’t know this until about two months into the relationship. Anyway, she disrespected me by throwing a tantrum if I made certain decisions without her (decisions that had little to do with her) and surveillance of who I was texting and calling (messages in a family group chat, or interacting with females in professional settings). The surveillance even became very personal, like watching who I was looking at when we went out on dates or errands together. I wasn’t cheating, but she made it seem that way. I was never outright disrespectful to her intentionally (and I apologized if I was), but she insisted that I was being disrespectful all the time. I didn’t know that any of this was disrespect until much later, after the breakup. But I’m learning from this experience.
@gbd-oq1rz9 ай бұрын
She was up to something no good or either she’s got many issues to fix
@isambo4009 ай бұрын
Thats bipolar.
@nwjh19579 ай бұрын
Very true about not realizing the disrespect. I didn't even run across the term 'disrespect' properly until about 20 years ago. But I've experienced disrespect long before that, but didn't recognize it. I should have looked more closely at the power dynamics.
@YourManifoldWorld9 ай бұрын
No, she's just a very insecure person and she doesn't know how to discern reality from her insecure emotions. I had a ex girlfriend just like her. Extremely jealous. When this happens, she's got emotions inside her that's affecting her way of seeing what is truly happening in front of her. Trying to control who someone looks at in public is beyond disrespect. You weren't being disrespectful at all. She was telling you it's disrespectful because she cannot tell you she has NO CONTROL over her insecure emotions. So, don't think this is disrespectful to women. For women, emotions are MORE real than reality itself.
@qua77719 ай бұрын
Dishonest people are the least trusting. I'm willing to bet she pushed you into getting in too deep, too quick. She didn't want you to really know her first. Women do that. They wait till we're invested then drop bombshells. If they're in a hurry it's a major red flag. They can only keep up their false facade for so long. We need a chance to see them at their worst.
@banshotenin11789 ай бұрын
This is what prompted me to end my relationship just after New Years Best decision I've made thus far this year
@salteemackerel20099 ай бұрын
Yep
@IAMALLMUSIC7 ай бұрын
Happy New Year!
@eltallersitodeelsa52755 ай бұрын
Really ? I’m unsure if I have to let go my husband is my victim. As he words it out. I’m unsure of that. I want therapy .. but we are both hurt by each other now. 🥹
@moonmoss7779 ай бұрын
I found you by searching a topic, then quickly became aware that I was supposed to find this page in general. I’ve had a problem with emasculating men for a long time. I know it was learned from my childhood. It’s something I’d like to fix within myself, so these videos are making a big difference for my mindset. Could you do one on how to nurture vulnerability from a man’s standpoint?
@roberttruman84449 ай бұрын
I'm very interested by what you've described. Could you explain your process of emasculation? Is it your aim to emasculate your male partners from day 1 or will you be triggered into action by an event and continued the abuse until the relationship ends? Do you know why you feel the need to do it or what you gain from doing it?
@moonmoss7779 ай бұрын
@@roberttruman8444Great questions. Thank you. Disrespect was a normal dynamic in my household growing up. I have always belittled men by jokingly giving them demeaning names. I’m competitive in relationships. I have never taken men/boys my age or younger seriously. If they don’t want to be treated like a child, I get defensive. It’s likely a subconscious trauma response, as I’ve found myself in more chaotic relationships than healthy. Generally, I’m very kind and pleasant to be around. It may be a means to not be overpowered. Reflecting now, it’s likely I start to pick at them and test boundaries early on. Then as they react I get more mean until one of us stops it. I didn’t realize it even happened until I lost someone I really liked after re-entering the dating world and took the time to reflect as to why. I looked back at my faults in prior relationships and was exposed to what I view as healthy relationships. Then of course have done research into proper dynamics.
@moonmoss7779 ай бұрын
@@roberttruman8444If the man asserts himself, it has made me back off. I don’t feel it should come to that point because the objective should be to make each other feel safe. As I said before, that wasn’t exhibited or a priority in my home. Then my marriage was a reflection of what I had grown up with.
@frozenkilt8 ай бұрын
The only way to "nurture" vulnerability in a man is to show, repeatedly and consistently, that you can be trusted. Weaponizing, publicizing or minimizing anything, ANYTHING, he has told you in confidence will provide the immediate and correct conclusion that you can NOT be trusted and he will never be vulnerable in front of you again and honestly, may result in him shutting off from your completely. My advice, if you want a man to be comfortable to tell you everything, is to earn it. It isn't something you can "nurture" in someone. If you're ride or die, we figure it out. If you aren't, we figure that out too.
@edgarbenjoseph38799 ай бұрын
As far as asking permission goes, there's a limit to what a man can do without asking permission. A man can't for example just get up and decide to travel alone to China and spend 5000$ if they're married with 3 kids. That would be very disrespectful towards the woman. In relationships, there are non written rules and if the man is making a life changing decision, the man should check with the wife out of love, respect and consideration for her feelings. For example, he should ask her if she's okay with him seeing his ex as friends. Men cannot live in this "my way or the highway" mindset because women are simply going to leave them if they feel their emotions, boundaries and ideas aren't respected. A relationship has boundaries and rules and out of respect and consideration for the other partner, both partners should always make sure their partners are okay with their actions. You wouldn't want your woman to do hard drugs right ? Well, it goes both ways.
@KJ-pu8dw6 ай бұрын
You cant be friends with an ex. There are always other motives. Dont be so weak.
@aaziz136 ай бұрын
This is the most sane comment I have read in this forum. Respect is a two way street and your need for independence should not come at the expense of a wife's disrespect. When you took a wife, you decided to take care of two people not you alone, so emotions of a woman should be rightfully respected, imagine staying out all night with friends after you are married and saying you are a man so u can spend time however you want. No sir, now you are married and its your duty to give time to your wife like how she gives you time and respect
@edgarbenjoseph38796 ай бұрын
@@aaziz13 Glad you agree, thanks :) And yeah, exactly. It’s like a lot of these red pill guys don’t understand mutual respect. It’s very odd 🙃
@franciscojtovar26 күн бұрын
@edgarbenjoseph3879 Exactly what I think. Respect is a two-way street. Women also need respect to feel secure in a relationship.
@jbstardust9 ай бұрын
I think under some situations owing the person's an answer to their questions regarding where you are and what you're doing are equal for both parties. When investing in an relationship you should be able to know if your investment is rightfully placed, which should go both ways since both are investing in the relationship.
@SV-je8mg9 ай бұрын
K the survellience part is true but asking questions and checking in is also what equals and collaborators do. You can't even get through the first date without asking each other questions, so that whole idea is just silly. The checking in is common courtesy and also healthy collaboration. Especially if there are intertwined lives and child care involved. I can't imagine anyone would be happy if their spouse didn't check in before going out for drinks with their friends after work and skipping dinner and leaving the other partner with the kids, and probably worried, too. Again, silly
@gary64499 ай бұрын
67 year old lifelong bachelor here. I've ALWAYS acted as the Good Doctor describes here in my (infrequent) committed relationships with women over the years. And THAT, my friends is why I am a lifelong bachelor..
@jamescheaye9279 ай бұрын
💐 Here’s your digital flowers sir, well done! With the way things are going in this unscrupulous, deregulated global sexual marketplace, I may be a Bachelor Boy/Free Agent with the likes of Tesla and The Wright Brothers. I have to ask sir, what is the key to being steadfast in your choice and how do you deal with the pejorative questions and comments from peers/family/associates in your choice not to adopt a woman and her brood?
@glevando9 ай бұрын
@@jamescheaye927 I'm 61 and a life long bachelor. When I'm asked why I didn't get married and if I choose to answer, I say that I see little value for me in return for assuming an abundance of risk. I site the failure rate of marriages (in my case I would likely end up with a post wall divorced woman so the likelihood of divorce will be higher), the corrupt court system, the fact that women are no longer feminine and fit, and they are combative and usually a financial mess. Their unrealistic expectations is another reason. Who needs any of that?
@stefanisilva24939 ай бұрын
That's probably the best way for most people. Marriage is only worthy for excentric and antissocial folks that usually are not able to have fun with most people, needing another "alien" as a partner to be really fullfilled.
@respectedlocalgentleman71089 ай бұрын
@@jamescheaye927 Caring about the opinions of peers/family/associates in matters of the heart is the surest path to getting yours broken. There's no need to explain anything to anyone. A woman with children is a major liability waiting to happen and raising any man's child is predetermined self-cuckery. He (or she) that doesn't accept this (whether they like it or not) simply doesn't care about you enough to have their opinions considered. Nothing else need be said or known.
@aaziz136 ай бұрын
Yeah most women also now prefer to be single with the current generation of weak men all over the place. Easy to blame the woman then take accountability that maybe you are having issues or in a mess for your own life decisions. But men here in this forum will have zero accountability and quick to put blame on the women
@zachs42049 ай бұрын
I've never really been in a serious long term relationship before. As a young inexperienced man, this was valuable information for me as someone who doesn't really know what to beware of. Ive only recently heard the term infantilize in the context of a controlling parent so it's a little eye opening to know that could happen in a relationship. Thanks, I have a lot of work to do myself with self esteem, self respect and self leadership.
@roberttruman84449 ай бұрын
Also called the 'parent child dynamic' where one partner will start to think of themselves as the parental type. It can be provoked a little bit by the actions of the other partner if they behave more like an infant. But more often it's entered into voluntarily (exceptions include people with ADHD or autism, but that doesn't stop couples from establishing the parent child dynamic). It's often brought about by one partner wishing to control the other and they do it to gain power in the relationship.
@glennponce16679 ай бұрын
Definitely a solid point I will share with friends who need the message.
@intenseandnoble9 ай бұрын
I lived through it and accept my part of my responsibility for allowing the disrespect. Thank you for putting into words what I could not
@thecategoricalcringeperative9 ай бұрын
This was excellent, Orion. Thanks. I know you mentioned this was a two-part, so you may cover it in the next video, but I would love to also hear your thoughts on "testing" behavior, which I have found is the most common form of relational disrespect I've run into. Ie, the same arrogance/entitlement/childishness at play in the behaviors you've mentioned causing one partner to constantly "test" the quality (or honesty or strength or whatever) of their partner to "prove" themselves as a good enough partner. As a side note: I actually think this has gotten worse *because* of the modern dating/red-pill-o-sphere emphasis on "high value." Of course, a genuinely high-value person would never accept the unquestionably low-value behavior of constantly trying to test everyone's value around them: the whole purpose of being high value is that *I don't have to answer to* your "standards" of "value." Ironically, one of the key giveaways of a low-value person is their constant focus on evaluating others' "worth" and whether it's "good enough" for them as opposed to simply working on their own lives and naturally expecting the people in your life to match that energy. There's nothing more undermining of one's own value than to be a person who constantly has to remind others how rich, good looking, successful, etc. you are - *truly* great people do not have to prove themselves to anyone other than themselves, and demanding that they do so (especially in a relational context) is both presumption and disrespect of the highest orders.
@IAmTheEggMan1119 ай бұрын
Manosphere/red pill is what made men aware of shit tests. You should be thanking your brothers who pioneered this for you
@ky72999 ай бұрын
One of the things that annoyed me about my ex is that whenever we were out for coffee, drink or dinner she would pick some other random girl nearby and ask me if I found her attractive and f*ckable. I would always answer (truthfully) that I hadn't noticed her and that I wouldn't care to answer that question. She continued doing this despite my explicitly asking her not to do it and complained when I answered the way I did. I believe that was a sh1t test and while I can sympathize when a woman does this in the beginning of a relationship, when she does that all the time I get the feeling she is setting me up to fail.
@willek13359 ай бұрын
You don't need to instrument a test. Just being alive and interacting with the world around you, is enough for other people to get an idea of who you truly are.
@Willie_Wahzoo9 ай бұрын
@@willek1335 THIS. The idea that whamin are smart enough to wisely test and vet a man is laughable. They marry whoever is attractive and will take them.
@roberttruman84449 ай бұрын
You've highlighted a particular area that I'd argue is reserved mainly for narcissists and people with other personality disorders. I've known a few people who use the 'shit test' on their partners. Not once did I see or hear of them ending the relationship there and then and telling their partner "sorry but you don't value yourself enough, and for that reason I'm out". The reasons these people give for shit testing are complete butllsh&t. They are testing primarily to see what they can get away with (because that's a healthy attitude to take) and getting their partner to be vulnerable and gathering information that they can later use against their partner. If your date shit tests you, this is because they're still weak and damaged and need to work on themselves and put dating on hold for a while.
@omgitsdev45689 ай бұрын
"This is how women disrespect men without realizing it" No sir they realize it, they just don't care because they don't fear repercussions of what they do and say Your take on women not disrespecting their bosses was spot on They know how to control their mouth when it comes to that because they fear losing their job
@andreaavvisati13169 ай бұрын
Ome of the things i likes the most from you videos, contents aside, Is that it's not edited, and i never get bored. It's such an amazing talent
@davidwhyman11899 ай бұрын
Blimey! So fundamentally eye opening. (I can now immediately recognise that I regularly fall into the 'weak' group of men who are more than partly responsible for this state of affairs by simply allowing it to be pervading).
@sirual59 ай бұрын
Really interesting. Im not in love with my current girlfriend and there are plenty of issues with our relationships but for some reason its hard to end it. And now I understands why. Its actually because she is really good in following those 3 steps. And that makes me feel that she is different from my previous relationships. feels really good. 100% agree that disrespect might be a deal breaker.
@markumoeder9 ай бұрын
This is actually a very good in-depth review of why i had so much stress in previous relationship's with family most of the time
@ConservativeSatanist6669 ай бұрын
"The ability to ask questions is a privilege to those with more power.."
@almamater4899 ай бұрын
Toxic
@devorahacts9 ай бұрын
This part was interesting because he said that it's never allowed the other way. So does that mean that it's fine as long as both can over-question each other?
@Guildofarcanelore9 ай бұрын
@@almamater489it’s good know you consider the truth toxic. In a relationship you should lead with that, it will save a lot of time.
@Guildofarcanelore9 ай бұрын
@@devorahactsyou can always ask the question, however I am not compelled to answer them.
@devorahacts9 ай бұрын
@@Guildofarcanelore If I feel like you're holding anything back without needing to, then the trust is probably on its way out. If I'm truly asking too much, I don't trust you anyway in which case that needs fixing fast. It's important to be aware that not saying something can have a worse effect than giving a gentle but negative answer. I've never really operated from a feeling of wanting or needing or expecting control as much as answers when behavior looks ambiguous. My biggest sign of a good relationship is not having to ask, not because he tells me everything but because his actions tell me he's OK.
@johnair16 ай бұрын
First point already nailed it❤. A lot of women act like they have a higher right to demand questions and to interview the man. Yes women are a bit more vulnerable and are more selective often when it comes to choosing a s. partner but this still does not give them the right to ask and demand in a disrespectful manner. Respect is given on the same level!
@AllWeNeedIsTruthAndLove9 ай бұрын
Checking in with someone you love respect and care for, and are in a committed relationship with is called Being Considerate. Especially if the way the time is spent has an Impact on the other person. This is not rocket science. Its not about permission, its about consideration, clear communication and agreements.
@MonDieuMaCauseMonEpee9 ай бұрын
Doc they realize it, they know.
@marriagecausesdivorce75409 ай бұрын
💯%. They would never dream of disrespecting their boss or Chad. Because they really want the income and Chad. They only disrespect things they no longer want as a way of pushing that thing away, to make room for Chad.
@Damesanglante9 ай бұрын
Finally someone realize it. Women "muh emotions" are manipulation. They absolutely know what they are doing.
@NoCharName6 ай бұрын
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 why would Chad settle for a disrespectful 4ho3? She is not making room for him, all she's doing is pushing you away and self-sabotaging.
@daniel-san8369 ай бұрын
It felt refreshing to watch this, validating that i'm not alone in what i went through. I'm still scarred from my ex 12yrs ago, anytime i feel lustful for someone new over all these years i'm quickly reminded of that experience and i pull back. She was like a mad teacher, always questioning, eye rolling, arms crossed, saying my mum really screwed me up just because we had some intense family stuff happen which wasn't my mums fault (she meanwhile had a picture perfect country upbringing), she manipulated me to get engaged to her or the relationship was finished, manipulated me to get pets i didn't want to in order to stave off her innate need to have a baby which i didn't think we were ready for (and we weren't!!). All i did was go to work every day, karate every second night, go for regular runs she'd not want to join in on because it's too much fitness, I'd pay for everything because she was at uni, I'd come home and clean the kitchen she'd mess up terribly trying to bake, I'd clean the house on my days off because she didn't value cleanliness like I did (apparently "unrealistic standards" {maybe compared to living on a hobby farm in the bush without any chemicals}), I'd do the lawns because that's apparently the mans job. She cracked the biggest drama episodes, partly because she was a Drama/English major at uni, she'd literally bang her head against the wall and slide down to the ground crying because we won't have babies or because i kept her waiting until i proposed (we were only together 2yrs). She'd correct my English all the time, slam all my accents, slam all my jokes and take them literally (wrongly). After i split up with her, she was immediately adamant that she's good and i'm bad, tried turning on me and turning all our friends against me, successfully.. and within 3 months she's got a new guy and she's gotten herself pregnant. I've seen a lot of behaviors of hers in a lot of females so I've avoided them like the plague. It's sucked not having much or any loving for so many years but at least I've been able to have my peace.
@Damesanglante9 ай бұрын
She was 8 years old mentally.
@pikaswole5 ай бұрын
The argument that parents can go into their child's room because everything belongs to the parent is also the main reason a lot of those parents who don't respect their kids' privacy never hear from them in adulthood again. Respect everyone, no relationship is guaranteed, not even parent-child.
@MA-xi9bh7 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. I have a man who has worked with me and has continuing to work with me, and I am blessed for that. thank you for explaining disrespect from a man’s point of view in a way that can be understood by women.
@Tubinado9 ай бұрын
I really appreciate your content. I grew up with a mother who was disrespectful to my dad and in my early relationships I was mindlessly doing some of those hurtful things. It’s scary how much long term damage parents can do. I didn’t even realize I was doing anything wrong and why there was so much negativity in my relationships until reading and watching stuff like this.
@Anamericanhomestead9 ай бұрын
If I ever get into a new relationship, these videos and her agreement will be a qualifying factor.
@mmmddd43669 ай бұрын
Holy moly, that into, disrespect is different to not respecting. I've been shouting this from the rooftops
@miguelvales51258 ай бұрын
Snooping through children's rooms until they're 18 is a good way to end up in a retirement home. The older the child, the more respect they should receive, otherwise s/he will become (normaly) angry or/and irresponsible, through their adolescence and adulthood. If I had caught my parents snooping through my room at 12 I would've been pissed. And an angry tween with full knowledge of where you keep your pillows is a nightmare, never mind one that knows where you keep your most prized possessions. Even the most meek and well behaved kids can and will retaliate, if not immediatly, then when they can. We have long memories and keep grudges, even unconsciously. A few decades wait is nothing to someone who doesn't even know they're holding a grudge. This comment is in response to the part where you say a parent has the right to snoop through their child's room.
@AB-ou8ve4 ай бұрын
Poetry.
@eileenkrol66058 ай бұрын
I liked this. I definitely have mildly done all these in my marriage. Thanks!
@stephenwinchester66689 ай бұрын
Man, the set up of that living room looks great! Excellent natural light, tasteful decor, nice built-ins. Also, this video was done very well! I’m in a good mood.
@TheUltimateMarioFan9 ай бұрын
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, So that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil All the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12) The Bible was so ahead of its time.
@cosmictreason22429 ай бұрын
Not ahead of its time, timeless. Cause the one who gave it to us is eternal and knows everything and wants what's best for us
@yzma61429 ай бұрын
wow this is actually deep. I'm guilty of the questioning one. usually it's because I believed a guy was lying to me, and it turned out that he was lol. but I guess next time I should figure it out without asking. and when I know, just leave. but then I'd be accused of not communicating.
@janek95359 ай бұрын
You don't need to respect a guy who's lying to you. And don't be bamboozled by Dr PsychHacks - he knows how to get easy 'Likes' from men!
@adamfaliq84649 ай бұрын
I find the book The Surrendered Wife talks about this topic brilliantly. Disrespecting comes from the need to control and sometimes, in a relationship it's better to let go of the idea of controlling your partner.
@roberttruman84449 ай бұрын
10/10
@AnkyPank4 ай бұрын
I'm learning a lot from your videos, Orion. Thank you so much also for this specific episode for us ladies! 🙏 A lot seems common sense, but hearing it put into words directly and clearly makes it so much more tangible and graspable. I appreciate your work bunches. Kind regards, Anke (a woman from/in Germany) 🌸
@123macoy9 ай бұрын
Wow! I’m just amazed at how much I missed in my relationships throughout my life. Now that I know what’s happened I need to make changes.
@will357197119 ай бұрын
Only disagreement is women asking men about their intentions (Dating, friendship, networking or marriage). Women, especially western women need to date with intention.
@NilsMacQ9 ай бұрын
...once they reach a certain age.
@Kellyfox989 ай бұрын
I agree with the first and third one but the second one will depend on how intertwined our lives are. If we’re sharing a home and children it’s selfish to just go off and do what you want. And it’s strange how he equated a man’s time with a woman’s money. Why not equate time with time. Would it be ok with a man if a wife gf booked a flight with her friends and said cya after the weekend as she’s walking out the door? Don’t think so. That’s not to say no one should have free time to do things alone but it should be scheduled with agreement for both people. That’s the respectful thing to do imo.
@sammyb16519 ай бұрын
Thats a fair point but it's a bit of an unlikely example. The more common example we see is women requiring their partner to say when they'll be home from a night out/punishing them for being any later/checking on them (etc etc) while the same woman would absolutely laugh at the notion her man deserved to be appraised of her likely return home time. She's out with her friends and she can damn well do as she pleases. Thats the more direct equivalent and it exposes how women are happy to behave with appalling hypocrisy.
@Kellyfox989 ай бұрын
@@sammyb1651 I think that in a committed relationship there will be a level of accountability to your partner, that should go both ways. Hypocrisy is unacceptable. There is also a point where it can be overbearing and that is also unacceptable. But in the end I think if you want a healthy relationship, you have to accept a level of being answerable to your spouse, whether your a man or woman. Complete freedom can only be achieved by being single imo.
@sammyb16519 ай бұрын
@@Kellyfox98 You're not saying anything unreasonable there. I don't know a man who wouldn't agree with that as a fair settlement between the sexes. My point however-and I made it very plainly using an extremely common example-is that most women don't behave in that way. They behave utterly hypocritically.
@csmith96993 ай бұрын
@@sammyb1651 Agree...why is this not obvious? So basic. I was with him at beginning but when he started the boss stuff...no...not a healthy relationship imo
@karendigby-rf1hk9 ай бұрын
Hmmm point well taken Orion, but let's switch the position of male & female in those sentences. I argue that in healthy interdependent relationships women have the same rights of respect as men do.
@unitynofear77587 ай бұрын
Super concise disclaimer in the video, just incredibly clear communication. Much respect!
@Jaco36885 ай бұрын
This most definitely is accurate - although, with the constant conditioning of today’s culture, it runs contrary to every “acceptable” analysis today. Thank-you for having the courage to speak the truth.
@bedhunter9 ай бұрын
This might be an episode for the ladies, but it really felt like an episode for the gentlemen. Food for thoughts.
@elsa_nyc9 ай бұрын
You are correct. It wasn't for the ladies, but for the men. I know it helped the algorithm.
@qua77719 ай бұрын
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. It's all red pill.
@te54019 ай бұрын
This is the ONE thing that women I like MUST bring to my "table"
@100logic89 ай бұрын
If a woman DISRESPECT it’s because she looks down on you and thinks she can do better. If u cut her off she will actually respect you more for standing ur ground…. However if she gets too disrespectful and you cut her off and she comes back after a few weeks or months it’s because whoever she thought she could get that was better than you ….didnt want her back, so u NEVER take a woman back, i know it sucks especially when u really like a girl but if you talk to her about disrespect and she continues to do it and u cut her off chances are there was another guy she respected more and she’s only coming back after a few weeks or months because that guy wouldn’t put up with her ….no matter how much u love a girl ….learn to walk away, the only way u should ever let her back into ur life is to use her just for sex, nothing else
@nick.s.88126 ай бұрын
One of the best analysis I have ever watched on YT!!! I correct myself: it is the best!
@mariaboux90845 ай бұрын
I keep listening to your videos and I couldn't hear anything wrong yet!! As women you really really understand relationships and how we act in them. One thing I can comment to this video, all true about the disrespect on having to ask permissions, I understood too late unfortunately and I could have avoided many fights. But the problem is once kids come into the picture and it's not anymore about me and you but it's about us and them. And just basically continue to just behave like they are not there and "I do my things bc it's my right to do so" just assume the other will supply the time you are not there. The "alone time" is well-deserved and no need to justify or ask permission, but if you decide to have kids and be a parent, check with other first.
@Tgogators9 ай бұрын
Reminds me of a single mother I was getting to know on a romantic level. We had great moments, but she'd had these catty & demanding outbursts "You've gained weight..You should shave your body hair...You want me to pay for it?? That's not what a gentleman does!!....Can't or won't? [meet up with sex] what are you afraid of?? Well I'm not going to beg you." I asked her would she talk to her boss like that, I was met with "I make suggestions all the time," and that later lead to "I'm a single mother, I'm used to being in charge." Turns out she was being rather truthful, her whole daily life was high-strung argumentative with those around her. She didn't want a BF, she wanted someone else to argue with and control. We're still friends, but I'm so glad we never had sex. Here's a dating hack: Pay attention to how she treats her parents, siblings, or kids (if applicable), not an absolute, but it's an indication of she's going to organically treat you.
@gwills93379 ай бұрын
so your "friends" with a disagreeable woman and you still dont get any sex? How is that a win?
@zphzrhzraefoiaj49749 ай бұрын
I was always a bit shocked at the way my soon-to-be ex-wife would talk to her parents. I know now that it was a major red flag and I should have known better.
@Willie_Wahzoo9 ай бұрын
If you're "friends" with a whamin like that, I wouldn't trust you either.
@360ODYSY9 ай бұрын
I've been with girls like that and the catty comments are always projections of their own insecurities
@Tgogators9 ай бұрын
@@360ODYSY it’s part of seeking validation. That’s how some people seek it, even if it had consequences later, it’s still validation.
@TheOutlierToday9 ай бұрын
A lot of women are never told these things and never think about it. I believe a woman won't disrespect you if you are her best option, but then again I know some women are emotional roller coasters and sometimes things are more complicated than that. You could very well be her best option but she's so out of touch to even know it.
@dgphi9 ай бұрын
Yeah, women are told the opposite of this message from childhood. They are told they are badasses, and that no man is worthy of respect. Unfortunately they tend to believe everything that the authorities and society tell them.
@VivatVeritas18 ай бұрын
Meaning AS LONG AS you’re her best option, which of course can change any day.
@CashFlowBlack9 ай бұрын
I asked a woman if she thought that it was disrespectful to ask a man to hold her purse. They didn't think it was big deal no matter how much i explained it to them. Protect sons gentleman
@munequa819 ай бұрын
Wow!
@exnihilonihilfit63169 ай бұрын
context is all here. of course it's not disrespectful if it's for a minute while you needs your hands for something.
@st3vorocks2909 ай бұрын
I would argue that this is only disrespectful if she thinks he is *obligated* to hold her purse. And also, she must be willing to reciprocate. If I need her to hold a flashlight while I'm working on something, she should be willing to do so. If I hold her purse, I am doing so to be kind, not because Its my job. As long as she gets that, I'm cool.
@vicz88999 ай бұрын
@@st3vorocks290 You're missing some context here. The context is you are out one evening with this woman, she has you hold her purse at the table, while she socializes with everyone but you for 20 minutes. All the while you are sitting there alone with her purse because it was implied she was only going to be gone for a couple minutes in the bathroom.
@stevenscott21369 ай бұрын
A girlfriend asked me to hold her purse at the mall once. When she got back, I had the entire contents spread out neatly on the floor, and was correcting the math in her checkbook. She never did that again! 😁
@smoakpipe9 ай бұрын
You never have to answer any of those questions you have the right to remain silent so the person who has the most information has the most power
@PrivateZerlegtsetseg2 ай бұрын
I used to think like you and did most of these things, and guess what, my relationship didn't last. I have changed now, and I did some of the "disrespectful" things you mentioned and now I have a better relationship.
@BWater-yq3jx9 ай бұрын
If she feels the need to keep tabs on her man because she either doesn't think he can look after himself, or she doesn't trust his fidelity... she should just find someone else.
@hediyaC9 ай бұрын
I always thought, asking questions, is a Sign of interest.
@charlesfinnegan79309 ай бұрын
A sign of interest or an agenda.
@jamesredman12632 ай бұрын
Depends on how you do it. Listen to the details Orion states. INAPPROPRIATE questioning. INTERROGATION of him as if he is an inferior. Questioning his every action and decision. Treating him as if he must ask permission from you to breathe, to do a hobby, etc. A lot of the issue with questions is, is your questioning positive and supportive, or is it asserting superiority and control?
@lynnferry2919 ай бұрын
I agree with everything said when the relationship is in the dating stage. I also believe it goes both ways.
@TheAustrianPainter879 ай бұрын
"It goes both ways"...does it? The typical perpetrator is a certain gender and thus it's made clear the video is directed to them.
@Willie_Wahzoo9 ай бұрын
Nope. It doesn't. Woman was made FOR the man (1 Cor. 11:9), not the other way around. You don't know your place.
@lynnferry2919 ай бұрын
With attitudes like both of yours, I doubt you'll have any problems. No normal woman would want to be in a relationship with either of you.
@gintoki_sakata__9 ай бұрын
@@Willie_Wahzoostop misquoting the Bible. You're giving Christians a bad rep
@cindyforish80819 ай бұрын
@@Willie_Wahzoo 1. Prove there is a god. 2. Prove that the god you believe in is THE god. 3. Prove the Bible was written by him or inspired by him. Then, I'll listen to your baseless argument.
@dollofthesouth5 ай бұрын
I never knew any of this. Parents never taught me that. Society certainly didnt because in American culture its everyone for themselves and you learn on your own. Thank you sir, I actually appreciate your videos and points, and im learning alot, esp. about men/women and relationships...
@markrcca53299 ай бұрын
All very good points! I would only add, both the man and the woman should expect the same rights to privacy, to not be excessively questioned, etc.
@patrickmcfly32649 ай бұрын
There are exception to this for some women, for example if she has a history of keeping in contact with men she has slept with in the past, and wants to be in a relationship she needs to have an open phone with her man, as women never forget past lovers.
@markrcca53299 ай бұрын
@patrickmcfly3264 honestly, if I feel I have to check my woman's phone because I don't trust her - I wouldn't want to call her my woman.
@patrickmcfly32649 ай бұрын
@@markrcca5329 having access fully and willingly because of her past doesn't mean you need to check nor feel the need to check, 2 separate things. On a side note: if you take training your women to greater accountability for granted then best you find a women that already had a strong father figure in her past that didn't treat her like a princess and taught her her to be loyal, accountable, and check herself when she gets tempted (and eventually they all do) and emotional, and especially one who knows how to forgive emphatically.
@markrcca53299 ай бұрын
@@patrickmcfly3264 I wouldn't get into "training" anyone. If I can't trust a woman, because of her past or for any other reason, I wouldn't get involved with that woman. It is up to me to demonstrate she can trust me, and it is up to her to demonstrate that I can trust her.
@patrickmcfly32649 ай бұрын
@@markrcca5329you will soon know women are alot better than man at "demonstrating" until their get the wedding vows and deliver a child then you'll see their true colors lol
@AshAndCream9 ай бұрын
Differentiating between asking permission and "would this make you uncomfortable or upset" would have been an appreciated side note. Good job as always Orion.
@ky72999 ай бұрын
Here are some more subtle ways I have experienced that I find disrespecting: - Changing the subject abruptly when the man wants to talk about something and the woman isn't interested in that matter. Being with a man means that you will have to listen to him, even if he just wants to talk about something you find uninteresting. You could even learn something about his personality that way. Not allowing him to talk conveys the message that you don't care about his personality or feelings and that you have somehow dehumanized him to an entity that's there only to fulfill your own needs. Much worse if you use dismissive retorts or gestures like "oh, no that again" or "why should I care about that?", sighing or rolling eyes. Talking about him in the third person in front of friends and not allowing him to speak on his behalf by continuing to do so when he tries to speak, even if you are saying good things about him. You are in fact objectifying him, reducing him to a commodity you can praise or complain about to others. When my gf did that I felt like I was a dog and she was saying "Oh, he's such a good boi". Sharing intimate details about your life together to people, mostly other women he also knows or could meet in the future. Almost all women and extremely few men do that. You cannot imagine how embarrassing it is to a man to discover that other people know things about him that he would never have disclosed himself. It makes him feel like a pet or a science experiment. And often they don't have to even tell him, he can understand this has happened by the look in their eyes. Oh and finally that old tired catch-all condescending phrase "You are just insecure" when you complain about any of these.
@sammyb16519 ай бұрын
Good stuff!
@deniseprovost43198 ай бұрын
I am so sorry if you experienced any of this, it is not okay. You deserve better.
@csmith96993 ай бұрын
@ky7299 I agree with some of this bit not first example. Maybe most of the men I've been with are big talkers but I have (with a few) barely started talking and been told "New topic" ...very disrespectful and I say so I matter-of-fact way. Some listen...some don't. You get a lot of info that way. One male friend of mine did this a lot and I found it annoying. We're both strong personalities and one thing that attracted us to one another. When he kept up with the "new topic" bs, I just started doing the same thing at times with him. He'd actually laugh and say..."good point...I get it "
@desertcrab63314 ай бұрын
Dang dude, this is some hard-hitting truth you are slinging here. I came across your second part and had to find the first. I haven't checked the comments yet, but I imagine this will go down like a rat sandwich to some ladies out there. I'm particularly interested to see if there are any responses from the ladies that they understand, that would give me some hope for the future. If there are concerned ladies reading this, may I demonstrate the results of this to a man of no consequence? At this stage, I can't imagine any man who would tolerate this. It is amazing what CPTSD will do to a man when daddy primes him to think chasing an abusive avoidant was his ticket to freedom. I've been scratching and clawing myself out of this deep pit for a number of years now, I am AMAZED at how blind I was while experiencing it in front of my very eyes for decades on end. Being open and honest is my path to freedom, so I will confirm the validity of what he is saying with a simple confession of what a trauma-induced dysregulated reaction would look like from a man who is earnestly trying to do his best. He will scream back, 'quit treating me like a child'. That should tell you. To those who choose to ignore it, you are a divorced woman walking because he WILL wake up eventually and take his stand as a man and see your true value in his life. Mark my word, it is NOT a pretty sight. It is downright embarrassing I might add. While you might enjoy the power while you have it, a day will come when you will be forced against your will to come to terms with your profound lack of it.
@UrsaBella5 ай бұрын
I am a woman and I agree. I never question my man. He has all the freedom to do whatever he needs.
@pipernigrum9 ай бұрын
Women feel that all these double standards constitute “equality.” Therein lies the problem.
@TheDominanceAcademy8 ай бұрын
Simply be with a woman who respects you and you’ll rarely if ever experience disrespect
@danielchoate75106 ай бұрын
1. Inappropriate questioning. 2. Granting Permission. 3. Surveillance
@lisaharmon84015 ай бұрын
Question: when a man is doing this to his wife, is he also disrespecting her?
@TropicalRedFlower5 ай бұрын
@@lisaharmon8401 Oh no... That's part of the double standards of this society. 😉👌
@nath78746 ай бұрын
Excellent summary surrounding the subject. Objective and concise analysis!
@nicoleveto31375 ай бұрын
First off, I totally understand what the Doctor is talking about. Understanding how men feel disrespected is a valuable part of a relationship. On the other hand have we considered that women who use these specific methods of disrespect are feeling disrespected? And maybe these bad habits develop from feeling chronically disrespected? Just throwing that out there. I wonder what the Doctor would say about that?