Put her to work: women want to care for you

I often hear men complaining that they can't find women willing to provide value to their lives. However, in my experience, women want to care for you -- provided you offer a sufficiently attractive relationship opportunity. And one of the best ways for men to determine the extent of this desire is to ask women to do things for them as early in the courtship process as possible. Put her to work: you will either get what you want or force her to reveal her true intentions.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #dating

[@psychacks]

I often hear men complaining that they can't find women willing to provide value to their lives. However, in my experience, women want to care for you -- provided you offer a sufficiently attractive relationship opportunity. And one of the best ways for men to determine the extent of this desire is to ask women to do things for them as early in the courtship process as possible. Put her to work: you will either get what you want or force her to reveal her true intentions. Join my community: the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #dating

[@cosmictreason2242]

God created her to be the helper. She is not designed to get but to give. 1Cor11 "💃 was made for man, not man for 💃"

[@joshnabours9102]

"Put her to work: you will either get what you want or force her to reveal her true intentions." So is this how you recommend men should filter women while dating? And likewise, are there any other ways as good as this method or is this the only one you recommend?

[@RShaun]

I have one question. I know men and women have different motivations. But men ask for contributions and it means they value you. But it’s the opposite with women. They can take all day and feel no allegiance. Can you go into why? They feel no need to keep escape route clear by not asking.

[@joshnabours9102]

Also, Thank you so much for this video. It makes so much sense. Yet somehow I have never, ever heard anyone say this.

[@cosmictreason2242]

@@psychacks KZbin deletes everything i say on this channel

[@melenico4512]

I have a saying "If a woman wants you she will move a mountain ⛰️. If she doesn't she will place a mountain in front of you".

[@maximushung]

@melenico4512 so true...however, if a man has money but a mountain still remains, the woman isn't attracted to you. move on to greener pastures where your money is gladly accepted.

[@melenico4512]

@@maximushung It's not overly complex its mainly biology. We make it complex in modern times from my perspective.

[@angeldestraler]

Sometimes money erases mountains.

[@maximushung]

@melenico4512 if you have money but there's still a mountain, she's not physically attracted to you. move on to greener pastures where a woman will appreciate your money.

[@_Unschuld_vom_Land]

Women make rules for betas and break them for alphas.

[@althehunter8623]

This is gold. I realized my wife was suitable for marriage when we went on a trip to Atlanta and told her on our way back I needed to fix up my rental property in NC. I didn't expect her to do anything when I told her but she offered which was impressive. She rolled up her sleeves and helped me and didn't act like she was too good to sand, paint, slept on an air mattress while we fixed up the house. Been married for 10 years.

talk to me in another 10. min was everybit that way. ended radically different

[@a.j.9727]

Breakdowns are rarely 1-sided. 🙄

[@BigdawgRoof]

She values you and wants to contribute to your world and be a part of it.. But is it only because of what you have is the question. If you didn't own rental property, etc. would she give you the time of day? Because at the end of the day, most women will help you to help theirselves. And these type of women vanish when they can no longer benefit from you. Just something to consider, hope you got a good one.

[@BRAZILIAN_MIKU]

​​@@BigdawgRoofthis is the wrong way to frame it. Who doesn't seek benefit in their relationships? would you be with a woman that doesn't do shit at home, is fat and ugly and expects you to take care of her? Would you be friends with someone that only brings you trouble? You would either try to push for them to fix their behaviours or cut the relationship (it is entirely reasonable to outright cut the relationship, because the only person that can actually help someone is themselves, most times, people with too many problems will bring you down with them when you try to go beyond just telling them what they are doing isn't working for the relationship between you both). Yes, there will be times where you fall from grace or is atleast in a tough spot, and you want people to stay by your side, but you need not worry for most people understand when the fall off is self inflicted or just a stroke of bad luck. There's also the fact that riches building is something that greatly changes and develops character, someone who doesn't have much and doesn't know how to advance their financial situation is fundamentally different from those who are in the same spot but will grow economically in the future. If he didn't have the house, he would be another person entirely

[@greendude0420]

Wow, I pray I get a wife like this and a decade with no divorces

[@13SirLink]

Damn that last line hit; she’ll either do what you want or show her true colors

[@icekills1]

So... doctor Orion Taraban, are you saying that it is ok asked a woman to make you a sandwich 😅

[@SpedSauce]

That's how it was with my ex. She would do whatever I want until she couldn't stand it anymore and told me she was thinking about breaking up for the past 2 months...

[@cozmicsoull]

@@SpedSauce She couldn't fake it anymore. Some just have better stamina than others, but most are not authentic about giving you what you want. They're just playing a role for the moment.

[@mylesleggette7520]

@@cozmicsoull My wife complains to me about this all the time. She moans and whines about how nothing she does means anything to me unless she does it for months or years at a time. I'm just like, yeah, that's correct. Show me you have intrinsic motivation to do as I ask, I don't get any value out of having to manage you like a child.

[@teresamagnusson]

Nobody's hiding anything, lads. Women have zero desire to care for grown men.

[@achaunce41]

Dated a girl who always said “I always feel like you don’t even like me.” Realized later that she wanted me to give her tasks so she could showcase her skills.

[@Enhdros]

My ex wife always said that. She’d throw a tantrum everytime I asked something of her. She couldn’t even throw the food wrappers after she’s done eating something. I lost all my money, but at least I’m gradually gaining back my mental and physical health.

[@xmonikerhotmailcom]

@@Enhdros He said the exact opposite of what you are saying.

[@ReinassanceMan]

@@xmonikerhotmailcom my thoughts exactly 😂

[@waynemongo]

😂

[@jokerpilled2535]

@@Enhdrosthat’s a tough price to pay for ignoring red flags

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

It needs to be understood that women fall in love with a man when they are doing things for you, not the other way around.

[@gfybitch]

Hey Rich👋

[@ShawnOfTheDead-v6o]

Taylor Swift wants to date Travis Kelce and show up to his superbowl game, she does not want to date her fans.

[@shittersfull886]

And yet I hear women say stop doing things for men as they are "incompetent" .

[@Mrtickleberries]

Asking a woman to do something for you is offering them an opportunity for an act of service. It's like saying I trust/like you enough to accrue a mini obligation. You don't tend to accrue obligation with people you don't like because you want to keep them at arms length.

[@Delrin3030]

Nice avatar! Is that your grandson with the brown beard?

[@95TurboSol]

It seems that most good relationships come down to one single variable: if each party in the relationship believes the other is their best option or close to their best option then they are going to invest with high effort and that high effort will keep the relationship good. Things go sideways whenever each party thinks they can attract someone significantly better than their current partner.

[@AmineL-es3dk]

only real comment here

[@rayrwyr]

Applies to women much more. Once men commit, they do not act hypergamous. Women do not have a concept of commitment. They are slave of their emotions and they are forever hypergamous. Men and women are psychologically different. An average man does not wake up in the morning and run the hypergamy algorithm: "Am I happy? If not, is she still the best I can do? If not, I need to start the process of exploring better options". Men have low expectations. Men just hope that they will be tolerably miserable in the relationship. Women however feel entitled to be happy in the relationship and they leave the marriage if they do not feel happy, if they find other perceived better options.

[@95TurboSol]

@@rayrwyr I tend to agree but with a caveat, men tend to desire sexual variety and will stray (cheat) while in a relationship if the opportunity is good enough, statistics also bear this out that they are more likely to have an affair than women. But women are much more likely to divorce than men when they think they can have better.

[@nadahere]

@@rayrwyr Word!

[@solracer66]

I think that is true but defining "better" isn't just a matter of physical attractiveness. Often a man will choose a less attractive woman if she makes him feel better about themselves and is low maintaince compared to a more beautiful woman that is a hot mess.

[@chrisradano]

My wife reeled me in by cooking and cleaning for me. She nurtured me and brought a calm, soothing, stabilizing energy into my life. She allows me to work those long hours when I need to. We've been married for over 20 years. In my mind, we've never had a fight. I sometimes watch this channel because I'm grateful for what we have that works well.

[@vananon51]

You’re very blessed you have a woman who brings you peace...a rare find.

[@tarkgundogdu8940]

older generations had it the best. nowadays most women are mad.

[@KS25205]

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." - Proverbs 18:22

[@johnnywoodmusic]

Never had a fight? explain.

[@KM-pm4vf]

He said "In his mind" they never had a fight. I believe he means they had very small regular fights that aren't remembered afterwards. Nothing truly disrespectful or hurtful that he or she would remember years later. That's what I got from it.

[@Franckiefresh]

Its so true..😂 they start cooking and baking for you.. or go to the store and bring you something you dont really need but "they were thinking of you." Its rather sweet.

it goes way sadly

[@elainer8288]

Everybody likes to spoil people they like, specially women. But there has to be reciprocity,or people feel taken for granted and undervalued. BALANCE is the key.

[@greendude0420]

Like my grandma

[@abdullahayoob]

That must be nice Bless you guys

[@JH_789]

"All men pay, but the more she likes you, the greater the discount." Several points in this video really woke me up. Women will phrase their demands as, "If you loved me you would ______." But what they mean is, "I don't love you, but I will tolerate your presence a bit longer if you ______." If a woman is asking for more than she is giving, she isn't interested in you.

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

how can this not sick your stomach, why play along with such a creature, actually disgusting, cannot be attracted to.

[@cryptojihadi265]

Your translation meter is spot on!

[@oyinloyeademola7086]

If, in any most statement is manipulative. Especially if it's altered by a woman

[@orlandoc661]

That was a home run.... You can't alter the truth

[@OP-lk4tw]

Couldn't a narcissistic, self-centered woman treat you like that even if she loved you? Some people are toxic with their loved ones, in any kind of relationship, so if we don't assume psychopathy maybe they are so broken and twisted that they can't even love properly

[@SJCstation]

Intriguing points made here. When I was married, there was one episode which summed up how my wife felt about helping me. One day, I asked her to pick me up from the muffler shop the following morning after dropping off my car. She agreed. The shop was about (EDIT: two miles) from our house. The next morning, I left the house, dropped off the car, and waited. After about 15 minutes, she didn't show up, so I started walking back. I then spotted her on her way and waved her down. I got in, she was crying, saying that she was now late for her appointment that morning and it was my fault for asking her for a favor, and that she couldn't be asked to do this ever again because it had wrecked her schedule up so bad. I said something like "what the hell are you talking about?" which led to a bigger fight in the car about other stuff, with her driving erratically back to the house too. Dang, what a horrible memory.....good riddance.

[@stevenkelley9002]

I think I would’ve quietly gotten out of the vehicle. I would’ve walked back to the muffler shop and gotten a ride from an Uber or something or I would’ve continued to walk, but, I would’ve never spoken to her again.

[@superserioes]

I’m sorry for picking on that beside the point, but: Only in America one (!) mile is a distance which requires a motorised vehicle. Like, my daily dog walk is about 5 km (3 miles).

[@stevenkelley9002]

Sure! Walk, bicycle, float, cartwheel, taxi, whatever… just don’t engage her for one second sobbing about how you “ruined her morning”.

[@caeaves]

Sidewalks aren't always a thing here. Lots of dead pedestrians would attest if they could.

[@bonsummers2657]

Hmmm, seems there was some lack of communication to begin with, or forgetfulness to bring up the other appointment the day before, in considering for scheduling with you.

[@ChanceMacabre]

The good ones will want to support you…if you’re worth it in her mind.

[@subhajitmitra6389]

but on the regular ones, a mans worth is tied to her feelings and she will care as long as she feels it

[@Janzer_]

vice versa. ain't no dude going all in if he doesn't feel it's worth it.

[@MegaSunshineyday]

TBH you just need to be good enough, and have reasonable expectations. Being self aware and not punching above your weight helps.

[@nightmareTomek]

@@MegaSunshineyday Yep, dating far down might do the trick.

[@curtisdecoste9345]

This is why a coffee date or walk in the park is so triggering, it’s considered “work” because they’ll have to carry their side of an actual conversation. A heavy load for anyone who isn’t really interested and/or has nothing to offer. 😂

[@Hana-gm8bc]

Stop asking out women who you think have nothing to offer then loser

[@lashedbutnotleashed1984]

Very well said. An intelligent and meaningful conversation is what many women fear most. It's all about "what can you do for me?"

[@Martinguy287]

@@curtisdecoste9345 where are you meeting these kinds of women????? Genuinely. Not all women are great but every hinge date I’ve had has been at least somewhat pleasant. They’ve all started as coffee dates or a beer at a bar. I’ve had about 10 dates like this over the past couple years, I don’t date a lot but literally all 10 have been “good”. By that I mean the women was a good talker and listener. Most had their life together with a stable job. Many were making good money as well. All of them were polite and kind. I see comments like this EVERYWHERE. Personally I just have not ran into this kind of leech or wet rag of women. Can you please tell me how you run into them at such a frequency where generalizations like this are sensible to make

[@Hayeshaze91]

Never thought of it like this. Makes sense per my last coffee date that fell through

[@melenico4512]

😂😂

[@adamwall7852]

This video makes me appreciate my fiancée even more. I asked her to start cooking more so we’re not going out all the time, and she happily said of course and now really enjoys cooking meals for us. She likes helping me in that way. I can’t wait to marry her :) 💛

[@charlie64x2]

☠️

[@musothreads9069]

Dont you DARE marry her.😂 She will flip the switch and you wont even recognise her

[@BlackLion76]

Bait & switch

[@BlackLion76]

@@sandwich-breath Classic bait & switch

[@SamanthaRoe-vj8wg]

I wouldn't set any store by that, just because YOU may not like cooking doesn't mean to say that SHE has a problem with it. So many men placing their entire future upon whether a woman will do domestic stuff for them. You obviously don't want a sloven but as most women have a low tolerance for mess and have to eat they'd cook and clean whether you're there or not! It's not the great test of devotion you make it out to be!

[@IfSemper]

"Give an earnest-hearted, devoted girl any true work that will make her active in the dawn, and weary at night, with the consciousness that her fellow-creatures have indeed been the better for her day, and the powerless sorrow of her enthusiasm will transform itself into a majesty of radiant and beneficent peace."

[@klyons217]

FYI the quote is attributed to John Ruskin.

[@IfSemper]

@klyons217 Yep.

[@LennyTech-1]

This quote blew me away but I could hardly understand the last part

[@thendebele]

Beautiful

[@destinyighagbon8105]

What kind of task exactly?

[@GanpatSawant-st6hm]

The silence around Revandles' forbidden books is actually wild.

[@Boborion4]

Make her work but never forget to praise her effort

[@bradbowers4414]

Proverbs 31. Exactly.

[@Ezberron]

"good girl!" goes a long long way for a certain type of girl. :)

[@rayrwyr]

That's how to train a women, or children, or dogs, or anyone.

[@IfSemper]

For me personally, as a woman, it's less about praise & more about feeling truly appreciated by the heart of a loved one.

[@jgw9990]

​@IfSemper what does that look like you for? Is it words or actions.

[@SirShiv7]

The first time I dated a non-western woman I was blown away at how supportive and genuinely caring she was. I've never dated a westernized woman since and I highly, highly recommend you lads do the same if at all possible. You don't realize how broken western women are until you experience one outside of this feminist culture.

[@untouchable360x]

Of course, she sees you as a ticket into the West. Once, she is westernized. She'll be the same as all western women.

[@canneddinners6059]

Was she Asian? Didn't she just want you for the money?

[@TheirIAre]

💯💯💯💯

[@PunkBunniii]

duh as a non western woman we don't want you.

[@TheDennyslash]

And such a woman inspires you to take a more masculine role, too. On the contrary, not having a lot of feminine women in society makes men care less about their own masculinity.

[@twinturboinfinitiq60az]

Epic video, Orion! I’ve been happily married for 37yrs. My wife and I have been great partners to each other. Funny thing is, she made to first move on me while I was talking to a group of young women at a nightclub. We started dating and early on she would call me to invite me over to her apartment for dinner. This is so basic, yet so unheard of from women today during dating. For me early on, this showed me that she has the ability to be a long term partner because she cared. She was and is the grand slam home run love of my life! During our marriage she has always cooked, baked and took care of our family. These are her and now our daughter’s( now married) natural instincts. Being a feminine loving woman. Trust, respect, laughter, kindness and love makeup our relationship. We our fit and attractive for each other’s pleasure. That is why we are still like newlyweds into each other!

[@rayrwyr]

Did she work or was she a housewife? In my long marriage of 27 years, the last 20 years was crappy and it got progressively crappier. I still don't fully understand why, as I was faithful dutiful, a good provider and a good father. She held a decent job (she is a PhD in neuroscience) but refused to financially contribute. She started acting like an unhinged psycho but refused to see a shrink. I did not end the marriage due to the 2 kids. Finally she ended it. Looking back, I should have ended it 15 years earlier. Well educated women's ego is a negative.

[@twinturboinfinitiq60az]

@ Funny you ask (the funny is at the end) , yes. Always did. She was a catalog women’s clothing merchandiser/buyer. She had a degree in Fashion. She would travel to NYC four times a year for week long merchandising trips. After her employer sold out and downsized, she lost her job. She then worked her way into a six figure job with a company in a different industry. After that company was sold out to a larger competitor, my wife decided to resign with my blessing. This industry had her traveling as well and my wife had enough of traveling plus our daughter was having our first grandchild. My wife wanted to start her/ours own business and have our daughter working with her. We’ve always saved money, so we had reserves to do this. She launched a Bridal and Quinceanera shop! Six years later the shop is going strong. She still travels! Twice a year she goes to Chicago for market week, but now with our daughter.

[@danielgibbs7134]

You're very blessed. Being widowed by a similar person, I stepped out into a new and unforgiving world of the new breed. It's not like it used to be. Even more few and far between. Good luck ahead sir

[@muraterkocevic9743]

Me too, 31 years and, now as empty nesters, going on ever better. Important note: She's from East Asia...

[@gaozhi2007]

No offense, but I just don't care. I'm rather tired of hearing about how great ya'll had it.

[@23DanielVincent]

I've seen women do the right things in order to secure a man, but once she locked him down, she switched up, so even this strategy isn't a fail-safe.

[@Bdavis2475]

Got married too soon it sounds like

[@Hairyderriere]

Exactly. Bait and switch. Classic.

[@danielkosmider8715]

Absolutely true!

[@mypersonalstuff-cy7gi]

@@23DanielVincent no solution for liars really. At least you can do your due diligence then praying to meet good people…

[@tauseeftariq3404]

It's pot luck with women, you don't know if or when they'll switch on you

[@solracer66]

One problem is that often women will do things for you that they don't really want to do during the dating process in an attempt to secure a man and will then completely turn off the faucet once the contract has been signed. My wife gave me little indication that she was going to do that when we were dating but now not only does she do very little for me, if anything, but freely admits that she was acting during our courtship. So I would say it's not just enough that you ask women you are interested in to do something for you it's not a bad idea to try and discover her underlying motivations for doing so and whether they are honest or not.

[@nate9579]

You need to continue to be an employer even when she has been hired (made a gf, wife etc). If a worker stops showing up. They get fired, no different with relationships

[@Serpicouk]

You have to behave more like you did at the start. When she knew you could walk away at any point. Then her respect/attraction will go up.

[@caeaves]

How long did you date before marrying her?

[@solracer66]

@@caeaves That has two answers. We dated for a year 15 years prior, broke up, got back together when we were more mature and married after another year and a half. However much of that later part was a long distance relationship where we only saw each other in person every 2-3 months before living together for 3 months before the wedding.

[@armajaxpress]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I found it interesting that such attitude exists pre and post marriage. That's not my experience though, from the beginning my wife has made clear of what she likes or dislikes to do at home and it's been roughly the same since 25 years ago til today.

[@Luis913Barroeta]

Fellas, Don't be afraid to speak up for what you want and how you feel. Remember looks fade but character lasts 💯

[@christyannceraso]

Thank you.

[@melawieeinapfel8594]

Be ready to pay for it. If you expect work for free that normally people charge for like nurses, maids, chefs, hookers and so on and also want her to look hot you gotta be prepared to pay either with money or with babying her because she has mental problems.

[@cryptojihadi265]

Most men are afraid to speak up because they know (with damn near certainty) what the consequences will be. But as he said, better to have her reveal herself upfront, then after you've wasted all that time, or God forbid, put a ring on it. Most men are just too desperate for a woman or afraid to be alone.

[@Mattheus281]

I was told to do this by counselor, but when I did, the ex would tell me that my feelings were not real, I was delusional, I didn't live in the real world, I was crazy, I was 'abusing' her, I didn't respect woman, I was the problem, I was selfish, (and more psychological harassment) and on and on. So I stopped saying how I felt. I didn't know what was wrong for so many years; then a year or so ago I learned about covert narcissism and the signs of a toxic woman, and my mind was blown. I wish I had learned more relationship info way back when we were first dating and I was shown the 'good version' of her before marriage.

[@MarcinWojtczuk]

Looks don't fade. They stay as important to men as courtship, flitring and pickup from early stages stay important to women. Character makes long term relation possible, but attraction is based on physical attractiveness and courtship forever. For both men and women. If looks deteriorate for woman that a man has kids with, he has no other way than to say what you stated. We can't divorce for financial and loosing children reasons. System forces us into cheating or paid options. Women on the other hand have no issue with divorce and they do use their options very easily. This is the only reason women stay fit - to be able to monkey branch. Unless their husband is also very attractive - then she knows younger women are a threat. Keep things balanced fellas, stay fit or suffer as poor s**-deprived bum. Like me.

[@speedweed5017]

My man Orion is the most consistent guy on KZbin.

[@Z.the.G]

Check out wes watson . He floors him .. but yeah .. Men are consistent

[@eljaa2000]

He is the best.

[@petersonxtateG]

ikr, no wonder the man has a PhD😂

[@Shlongmaster689]

On god

[@lashedbutnotleashed1984]

Alexander Grace is every bit as good as Orion. Grace is even more straightforward and direct and fearless.

[@mycoachdave]

LOVE the ferry-boat captain analogy! "Why won't she help me pilot the boat?" Why would she?! She has you to take her where she wants to go and serve her whatever she says she wants! Men will put themselves in debt trying to keep their women happy, while at the same time hoping that maybe someday she'll join him in the pilot house to help run the ship. Like the man says, it doesn't work that way. Clarify your needs, wants & expectations - write them down so you can review and refine them. Then, when you think you've found "the one", communicate your needs, wants & expectations - and ask her to do the same. Only then will you start to see whether relationship compatibility and the prospect of a future together is realistic.

[@rayzerot]

If you like that analogy you'll like his book. I just got past that part and it's good so far

[@rafaelanschau3196]

It is brilliant. We tend to "ferry boat" woman during campaign, thinking we won't have to do that once elected, but the truth is woman will want to be "ferry boated" after we are in office. The strategy doesn't work long term.

[@tmcmat01]

I’m guilty of investing (time, money, effort, etc), which I think is fine, but I don’t push for an equal investment from the woman I’ve been dating for a year. Now it’s time to make a decision on our future. This specific video of yours really consolidated and streamlined my own thoughts and concerns and, frankly, fears. Nobody wants to walk away from an investment/relationship and realize and regret that I fucked up! Thank you so much

[@rayrwyr]

@@tmcmat01 -- It is important to allow (and insist) her to invest in the relationship.

[@alwaysontop-i3d]

There's a book called Casanova Optimization of Attraction, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal

[@ephraimjoseph1946]

I wanna have it. Help me with the Link.

[@aaronhope8366]

This 100% checks out. My wife (now separated) was never willing to be supportive of what I needed but always expected support in what she was doing. I persistently felt tolerated instead of encouraged. Well she finally showed her true colors. Pretty expensive lesson and it took 18 years to learn.

[@Tsusajop94]

@@aaronhope8366 did she show her true colors, or do you agree that your frame of the relationship was off from day 1

[@Conscience-Éternelle]

aaron May your dharma bring you a great partner from now

[@aaronhope8366]

@@Conscience-Éternelle i appreciate it. When it's the right time, it will happen.

[@sakakaka4064]

@@aaronhope8366 I'm in a similar situation. How did she show her "true colors"?

[@aaronhope8366]

@sakakaka4064 when I got laid off, I was not ok. Really not ok. She had her vacation planned to visit her folks prior and refused to postpone it despite the income falling out. She left me isolated away from every support structure I had for 5 weeks knowing that I was in an emotional crisis. When she came back she told me she almost didn't come back. She informed me of the separation after she spent the time and money, well after cutting off compassion and affection.

[@basantidevi2305]

As a woman you are 100% spot on with this one.

[@Diametricallyopposed00]

As a staunch, non feminist woman, i agree

[@kyantop1982]

you need to add a comma(,) after the word woman in your sentence.

[@malekhakim7436]

​@@kyantop1982 😑

[@Miner-dyne]

@@kyantop1982 ah yes... the 'Help your uncle Jack, off a horse' comma.

[@zetristan4525]

He's not a woman

[@anjnadevi1410]

zarnivex speaks volumes about how people are stuck in a trance

[@stopcensoringmen5044]

Something that I really like about you, Orion, is that you don't blame men. Rather you provide a nuanced perspective that stays objective.

[@Rakyr]

I actually learned this. Early on in the dating process I will ask her for small favours to see if she is capable of that or not and it works really well. If she responds with a smile or a simple "ok", I know she was raised right and I am willing to see where it may or may not go.

[@eladbari]

Give practical examples for favours you asked for. I mean, they have to be accessible and not over the top.

[@Rakyr]

@@eladbari Obviously, little things like could she pick me up from the station or can you make me a coffee in the morning. Small gestures

[@davidcampos9768]

This is why I'm so grateful for my wife . From the first date when something fell on the floor and she jumped to clean it . I knew she had a good heart and was not selfish . She has been by my side working together building our family for 30 years now .

[@jackdeniston6150]

The real challenge I have found, is finding things to ask for. Most Men, especially me, have been raised to and learned, to handle everything. Asking is not even considered, let alone frequent. Women will blame by saying blah blah Mans fault.

[@BradKwfc]

Ask for sex, I dare you.

[@MiguelTrujillo1]

Yeah, I have no idea what help to ask for too. My goal has always been (from childhood) to take care of my own needs, and then provide support for the needs of others. I have no needs other than occasional companionship and wanting activity partners. The exceptions are rare, perhaps when I am sick or injured, or when an unexpected turn of events happen.

[@mark9294]

Yep, exactly. When it came to thinking about what I really needed from her, all I could think of was sex (kind of sad)

[@derrickblackmon420]

I feel the same. I take care of pretty much everything and I've been trained to think needing anything makes me needy.

[@shojwiebelhaus1391]

There is a principle in game design, "the behavior you reward is the behavior the player will do" if you give XP for killing NPCs then the player will not be spending time trying to talk to them. If you reward a woman for doing nothing well.... Reward her for being kind, affectionate, honest, attentive and you will receive more of that

[@theartl0l]

True, but would this game be played if it would be impossible to beat, not fun and way too expensive?

[@mylesleggette7520]

She has to be able to demonstrate those behaviors before you can reward them...

[@shojwiebelhaus1391]

@theartl0l I don't think the game is impossible to win but I do think it's like a casino. If no one ever wone they'd go out of business but the longer you play the more likely you are to lose everything you wone.

[@theartl0l]

@@shojwiebelhaus1391 It depends what are your end goals. If you want to create family, have 3+ children, dutiful wife, have full authority in the household then I would say it is close to impossible.

[@MarcinWojtczuk]

One thing I've hear from women I was in serious relationship with was a very early question - do you seek a long term, serious relationship that leads to marriage. My (yes) answer set their attitude, including not witholding s** too long. I gave them XP for being serious and testing me in this regard, repeteadly confirming my intentions with them. This was greately appreciated, and even though I'm single now - none of them has ever expressed disappointment with my commitment. I was not testing them though. I should have had. The only time I tried was asking my girlfriend in high school - can she explain to me what being honest and faithful means. She refused to answer and I paid the price for not walking away at that time. I was very close to paternity fraud.

[@michael_essien]

I love how Orion doesn't villainize women I wonder how long it takes to come up with these topics cause these concepts are hard for most people to comprehend so being able to explain them to clearly to the audience is just crazy✨

[@georgemubanga1878]

I was thinking the same

[@bottlewaddle6677]

do you inner work and its all revealed naturally, albeit very slowly. Orion synthesises this process perfectly

[@JimastaJ]

He steals concepts/topics from the people who villainize women and waters down the topics for his sensitive audience. Everybody knows the true originators of this space…

[@IslamicRageBoy]

We are what we are as creatures and need to deal with reality

[@keljerel]

Right. He doesn’t villainize them he just reveals their true and instinctive nature.

[@vryc]

Yup. My wife of 28 years is a damn hard worker, doesn't need to be told more than once how to do something, and doesn't need supervision. She'll take some praise for a job well done but that just par as far as I'm concerned. Knew this about her EARLY on. Like VERY early on. My diamond.

[@joejones4296]

Thanks Doc. My ex wife stopped helping me with things about 10 years in. I told my pastor in church counselling that she did nothing for me that I could not replace for $400 a month. She divorced me. Called me violent and abusive and a narcissist. Now she can take care of herself. I really don't miss her. I do everything myself. It takes very little time.

[@caeaves]

There are so many machines that do all the work after merely loading and unloading. Not sure why they complain so much.

[@MarcinWojtczuk]

Yeah, I remember how my ex wife was surprised when we agreed on parallel parenting (week on week off) and I haven't ran to her crying. In fact, I was doing chores faster, because there was no one to nag about them. I can't believe she thought filling dishwasher or putting powder into washing machine would make me cry. I already cooked better than her, she could have figured I'm good at this sh*t.

[@caeaves]

@MarcinWojtczuk lol! Right??? I spent hours in blistering heat changing the brakes on her vehicle. Yet I didn't do enough ten minutes worth of dishes.

[@MegaMarVerde]

You kinda sound egotistical

[@muraterkocevic9743]

Why didn't you divorce her?

[@nickthompson1812]

it sounds like it all starts with you. If you're the type of guy she wants to take care of, she will.

[@craig766]

Sure, until the children come along.

[@jackdeniston6150]

BS. You are not.

[@Randomperson11121]

no tbh you can affect that, she usually did. on the first 3 dates she offered to drive 30mins to pick me up when i didn’t have a car, and on the first actual date close to her place i told her i was taking an uber she offered to drive 30mins to pick me, drive us back 30mins to the date and drive 30mins to drop me off and then drive 30mins back to her place, she initiated every text, offered to pay on every date that involved money, put real effort. but the same behavior pushed her away NEEDINESS AND DESPERATION.

[@Kit-kk9cb]

It's true but there's a thing called FEMINISM that indeed makes them not want to give value to men.

[@SantiagoVeraLoor]

Until a man comes along with a bigger bank account

[@Realblakemoody]

As I navigate single life after a long marriage (and divorce) I find this concept to be completely accurate. As soon as I spoke up for myself, my cheetah showed her spots and I was happy to exit that relationship 👍🏽 Your videos are great and I’m learning a LOT so thank you 🙏

[@xxczerxx]

I think I might be part of the problem in this. I generally don't like the women I meet enough to do longer term relationships, so I've become extremely self-sufficient in my late 20s. Good at cooking, cleaning, laundry etc...things that my father, grandfather etc were utterly dependent on a woman for, for example. Invariably I meet women (and I'm going through this currently) who don't even offer to add anything in this regard, much less be better at it than me. So I'm left thinking "beyond sex, what exactly is the point of this?". I already do all the date planning, pay for everything....I feel like a parent. Maybe I'm not meeting the right women but the girls I've met in the last year alone are literally like children. They can't cook to save their lives, live like pigs, and seem to spend all their money on bullshit brunches with their friends. But now I'm thinking after this vid, maybe they just don't like me all that much!

[@Snarge22]

I've been thinking about this as well. Invite her over for dinner at your place, but have her help you in the preparation. With Dr. Taraban's video here one can see this as a test. If she balks, you know what to do. If she happily participates, maybe she's been looking for a way to help you and hasn't seen an opportunity. And you know the answer then as well.

[@ramunematt]

Ask them what they have to offer that you can't get from another girl. It's a slap in the face to a lot of them because they realize there's nothing they have to offer that you can't get from another girl... but somebody's gotta tell them.

[@Hana-gm8bc]

Hey loser cook for yourself she's not ur slave and u're an adult

[@rayrwyr]

These women have been programmed to be narcissistic, self-centered and exploitative by the F-inist culture. They think: what values can I extract out of him? food, vacation, gifts, attention, etc.

[@SIGSEGV1337]

Yeah I massively relate to this, not to gloat but I'm significantly more intelligent than the average person (that doesn't mean I'm better or anything, that's just the reality I happen to find myself in), and I very rarely find people I can actually delegate tasks to in general without it being more of a burden than me doing it myself, and so I always feel overburdened. Like, I'll manage people for money, but it doesn't really make my life easier if it's my personal life.

[@SandhyaDileep-p8x]

The fact that nobody talks about forbidden books on Revandles is so crazyy

[@tanabanana3787]

Yeeess! :) As a woman, I can 100% confirm. I love taking care of and pampering my partner. I love being given tasks to do and help. I love the feeling of contributing and having responsibility. And the cherry on top is if I get an admiring "wow thank you" and a kiss for it :)

[@BlackLion76]

Men don't want "partners." It's why he hasn't married you yet

[@elainer8288]

As long as they reciprocate and aren't selfish.

[@ladybug3380]

Women don’t need to be given tasks, we literally just do what we see needs to be done. We anticipate our partners needs and wants. Men on the other hand aren’t good at that, they want to be told what to do.

[@elainer8288]

​@@ladybug3380 Exactly. They shoyld try harder. There has got to be some give and take.

[@will-vi9pk]

@@ladybug3380 You had better be doing your part and then a whole lot extra if you think a man wants to be told what to do.

[@imhugeinjapan7]

I love this guy. One thing I would like to see more of, is specific examples of implementation. Sometimes I get so invested in the 10000-foot view he's offering, I find it hard to connect it to a practical situation on the ground.

[@TheOlzee]

Regarding this issues there’s untold options. Cook, clean, grab something from shop, wear a particular item of clothing or perfume, by a round of drinks when out, etc etc. Use them sparingly and don’t bombard all at once. Get creative with your ideas

[@theartl0l]

- Ask her to make you a coffee. - She will tell you to do it yourself because she is not your mom. - You leave.

[@TheOlzee]

@@theartl0l but it’s your house!

[@caeaves]

Go to a coffee shop to get your own. Bring it back and drink it in front of her. Laugh when she melts down.

[@eladbari]

Agree.. sometimes the talk stays too abstract here and practical situations/examples could shed some light on the topic

[@digitalsimmz]

I sent this to someone who really needed it. A guy tried to pull a "bait and switch," but it's not going well for him. The woman in question seems to have settled on him and is making him jump through all kinds of "hoops," such as paying for an extravagant wedding, despite knowing he isn't in the best financial situation. Unfortunately, my buddy still holds on to hope. *Sigh* In the end, some people just don't want to be saved.

[@ibubezi7685]

Usually the woman pulls a bait and switch - lots of sex before marriage - which evaporates the moment she gets that ring ('dead bedroom').

[@michaeljohnson6019]

I started doing this a few weeks ago. And thinking about it months ago. I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. Have a great day everyone!

[@JDMdu1]

I agree 100% Doc. Since following your channel for over 1 year and applying your strategies, I'm having a very fulfilling relationship with the woman I see a future with. I ask for stuff, anything, and she goes beyond my request. I sometimes don't even ask, she sees my needs and offers them - sex, money, cooking, my health care etc.

[@EnlightenedLotus89]

Currently experiencing this now. There’s a considerable attraction between myself and one of my employees, to the extent, she makes comments or does little things for me that based on what most people know about her, wouldn’t happen. She worked at another site for some time, in which there wasn’t much asked of her. Currently, I’ve begun to ask her to complete tasks that are mundane and more than what I’d ask of others in her position. Ironically, she’s dealt with anxiety in her life but seems to be much more calm around me, even making a statement saying that in the short time she’s known me, she’s experienced the most growth in her life. Currently, sitting back and observing but even in relationships that I’ve experienced, she’s been the most attentive without any thing happening beyond the work relationship and conversing about life. We’ll see what the next few months but great call outs in the video. Opposite experience with a past ex. Asked her at one point to cover a shift for me because of a death in the family. At the time, I was too young to put it into perspective, but she threw a fit, eventually doing it, but should’ve been a tell-tale sign that she didn’t value me and lacked common decency.

[@skamgodt964]

was your ex also in the same company?

[@my_call]

@@skamgodt964 if yes, this guy sure likes to play a risky game.

[@just_lurking4833]

In short, if your value (attractiveness, status, income, confidence) isn't sufficiently above your woman's, she won't cook for you, she wont clean for you, and don't even think about frequent sex. She resents you for thinking she "settled". It's rough out there.

[@mark9294]

That’s right on the money. The worst is if she thinks she was somehow deceived or misjudged in the first place when it comes to your “social value“

[@sami.1983]

Orion doesn't get that and gives men POOR advice. The issue is ENTIRELY ECONOMIC!

[@luckyjayakody]

That's why men need to date down.

[@BryceShamwow]

@@sami.1983 No, that's not what value means.

[@lanceroparaca1413]

​@@sami.1983oh man, economics is not just money. It's other resources as well

[@ryanthemastertrainer]

I’m 20, my girlfriend is 18. We’re both each others firsts for everything. And she jumps at the chance to pay for things and do things for me and make me feel good in all types of ways. After watching this video it makes me feel like that’s her natural instinct to go to work, for her family and friends and me. She’s Hispanic by the way. This kind of behavior, like being very family oriented and very helpful and hardworking, is pretty common with them, from my experience. She’s amazing.

[@rayrwyr]

Yes, it is largely family and culture. In US, the culture is F'inist and so women are shamed for being giving. They are in effect told to be narcissistic.

[@LisaCulton]

Are you a woman, or what? You shouldn't be letting her buy things for you.

[@yawillykwily7179]

Just know this young man, women constantly change, she is only 18 years old and you are both too close in age gap. Soon she will outgrow you and (God forbid) look down on you in the coming years. Women age faster than men. So please keep this mind. All the best of luck son.

[@simonduvall3945]

Guy we got a winner!! Protect her at all cost mijo 🔥 she could be the one

[@Valentina.Montano]

​@@rayrwyr we Hispanics expect family oriented men and men who won't treat us like an "option", if you just don't show interest in marrying her she will find you aren't the right one and just leave. With us it isn't much about money but, about getting husband material vibes like our dads did with our mom, even now my dad is still helping fix things around the house and the cars, almost everyday showing his love for his family and he's almost 70 y/o. Don't follow white men advice about money because that doesn't work with us, unless you're really poor or you don't seem dependable as a future father because you don't plan for the future or don't talk about a future family together then, you don't need to worry about your economical standing, husband vibes are basic to be considered "the one", specially when we are Catholic.

[@crosses101]

I like this guy. Such a balanced, well thought out perspective. No hyperbolic bullshit.

[@jasoncullum9448]

Thanks!

[@robm8067]

🤔🤯😱 women need something to nurture and care for!! OMG!! That was sitting under my nose my whole life and I never realized it. If I think about my dating history… women with dogs and cats could take me or leave me but women without them had a hard time leaving me. 😳 THANKS ORION!!

[@lashedbutnotleashed1984]

They may have had a hard time leaving you, but I'm guessing they still left you.

[@Valentina.Montano]

It wasn't the cats or dogs, you didn't give them the tasks so they focused that energy on something else because that's their instinct.

[@ChristosForever]

A supportive woman in whatever way she chooses to support is ideal , also supporting someone is a symbolic behavior of Respect towards their own Desires!!!!

[@timolus3942]

What great insights! When you said that the women dont want to do it for all men, i felt very happy because for me its important to have an understanding of other people! Now I know that i want to be someone a women proudly cares about because it gives her some kind of meaning.

[@lashedbutnotleashed1984]

Good luck with that. Finding a woman nowadays that wants to do anything for a man is like finding a goose that lays golden eggs.

[@TaizyaMwambazi-vf5cs]

This is the single best video out there on helping men save a lot of time dealing with disinterested and fake women.

[@raeannaroylance]

Make sure to say “please” and “thank you” to her.

[@banksofbarcelona3893]

They say they want a high value guy and they're not willing to follow his lead or enter his frame. They blame their trauma, and act as if they don't have agency. The best way is to make her your employee in the house or at work. Give her tasks that improve the overall well being of the family never pedestalize anyone or you'll be treated like a fan. Never trust comforting lies, they'll lead you and your relationship to ruin. Never let yourself go, be on top of your game

[@Hana-gm8bc]

A high value man treats her like a human being u clueless fool

[@johannesdolch]

WHEN A WOMAN TAKES ADVANTAGE OF YOU, IT IS A TEST! IF YOU LET HER YOU FAIL. PERIOD.

[@chrismoore9997]

This absolutely fits my experience and I have said things (not as eloquently) like this before. Women need to know from the start what you expect from them and if they are willing to do it, they need to do it at the start and if they are not willing to do it forever, they need to go away.

[@thiagozambon4295]

I've been with the same girl 15 years now, 5 married. I'm 34, 5'9 185lbs lean. Worked my ass off my whole life, gave her everything. Told her I wanted more affection a year ago. Nothing's changed. Told her she should get leaner for the first time in my life a couple of days ago. Getting divorced now. No kids - thank god

[@thinman8621]

Got Dr. Tarraban's book at Xmas. Have read only a little of it but already see it as well worth the price. The book lets me see a concept, then turn it over in my mind before going on. I control the speed. Works for me.

[@NikkiParker-tq7wr]

So true!! I have always felt there was something off with the modern dating advice I’d hear, and the people I’d hear it from, I never wanted the same relationship dynamic as them to begin with. Even though some of Orion’s content is painful to hear as a woman, it’s also just as refreshing to hear the truth, and to know there are men out there who are looking for the same type of relationship that I want- which is what Orion’s content is all about. Thank you, Orion!!

[@lanceroparaca1413]

The thing is whether if those men looking for that are the ones you actually happen to like.

[@zodiacfml]

my dream mentor for decades since I'm into Psychology and girls pior my teens. can't get enough after all your videos and book. thanks for another great video. I'm interested with my two neighbors who are friends, I'm torn who to approach first. I just realized this a few days ago that one stark difference between them is doing errands. The other is so busy and walking fast all the time that I can't imagine approaching her without being awkward. The other, I rarely see doing errands and I rarely see her out in the streets except when she is going to her job, but then she appears more interested in me. I'll take this video as sign to hit on the more industrious neighbor of mine.

[@DrBilly90210]

"Ferry boat captain" is classic "nice guy" behavior, the paradigm being the "nice guy" making up covert contracts (that exist only in his mind) that go something like "If I do this nice thing for someone, they'll acknowledge & reciprocate. Vast majority of the time it doesn't and the nice guy eventually ends up bitterly disappointed.

[@TRXST.ISSUES]

@@DrBilly90210 My problem is when genuinely kind things are done for people who don’t meet the standard of being a decent person. Is it a covert contract to hope for common decency and respect where it’s reasonably due? Covert contract comments remind me of the white knights who say you should let your spouse be out with other men because if you don’t you’re insecure. Intellectually gaslighting people into the ditch because at face value things sound reasonable and honorable only to decay on further examination.

[@denfordmuchongwe2442]

@@DrBilly90210 you must read his boat if you haven’t already. The ‘ferry boat captain’ is a great concept more than you have made it out to be. He talks about men in general being ferry boat captains picking up passengers from the dock for voyages.

[@mark9294]

Well we all make “covert contracts” (=nonspoken expectations). Hell, marriage is riddled with them.

[@Ace.0.0.0.]

Orion has done it again. I concur- BIGLY! The best GF I had was such a person. She set the bar impossibly high for all the future women who enter my life. At best, we were a poor match. I settled down with the only other who came close to clearing the bar. I owe my best ever GF a huge thank you. She demonstrated to me what a good woman was all about. Thanks to her, I was easily able to separate the wheat from the chaff. This best ever GF accompanied me to go skydiving! She also knew her way around a kitchen. Good times.

[@user-nz6tq3vc5u]

What broke you up?

[@Ace.0.0.0.]

@@user-nz6tq3vc5u there was too many years between us. She was ready to settle down and breed. I was in my mid twenties, and not ready to settle down and breed. So I did the honorable thing. It was tough, but the right thing to do. I broke off with her. I was looking to the future, and I did not see a happy ending for myself. It would have resulted in both of us being unhappy, and any future children also would have been miserable.

[@parkermcginley3708]

Typically women who are interested in marrying you are more than willing to take on responsibility in the relationship, they do not want to be the captain of the ship. Women are not designed to lead relationships and when put in that role they quickly become no longer attracted to their 'follower', they are however willing to be the first lieutenant, they will do all sorts of things to care for you provided you do the masculine side of those things as well. Cooking food, cleaning, doing laundry and other chores are very much things women like doing, but you have to do the heavy lifting, cut the grass, and bring home the food. Being a man necessitates doing the things that a man does, when women have this type of man in their life who takes the leadership of the relationship, they cannot help but be taken with him.

[@EE12CSVT]

Women lead in all but two relationships and marriages in couples under 70 that I can think of, and relish it

[@Hana-gm8bc]

Women don't like doing chores you need to stop thinking like a broke man.women like to be pampered

[@User-fo8yx]

🎉Amen to that

[@guardian218]

@@Hana-gm8bcClearly a trad man isn’t for you. Move on. There are other men out there.

[@parkermcginley3708]

@@Hana-gm8bc Yes they do, women are not insane, they recognize a need to take care of the man they are with. No, women are not cruel or useless or bad as a group, some women are, the vast majority are not.

[@michaelbradburn7892]

This video was pure gold. Thank you sir! Women today fail to understand when a man asks for help with things he is not trying to degrade them or because we want them to be our mother. It’s to see if they are going to help keep the ship sailing in the right direction or if they’re just along for a joy ride.

[@Haze_Loto]

My love language is related to food. That´s how I take care of my people, I feed them. I don´t know if it´s a cultural thing, but in my country (Peru) food is a really important topic. I´m not the best at cooking and I'm still learning, but I'll always find the way to express that I care for you with some dish.

[@guardian218]

Tasty food is important but to men in particular, if a woman shows kindness and that it’s genuine…that goes a long way. Most men aren’t expecting perfection or a super model but we want to have a peaceful home life and not have to worry about fighting or if she will stab us in the back when she gets bored or attention from another man.

[@christian-s1i1w]

It sounds nice, especially with the reputation of food from Peru

[@MarcinWojtczuk]

My grandmother told me that you can show love with cooking, and she did. I'm from Poland and I do show love with cooking for someone, esp my kids. I admire people that can openly say how they care for others with love. Those are great words of wisdom and beauty.

[@Valentina.Montano]

It's the same in El Salvador, I think in all Hispanic countries due to our culture.

[@Jan-qv8ku]

I feel that there are women who want to help their men do whatever it is that he needs done. My experience is that the men in my life have wanted basic janitorial service, not a true partnership🤦‍♀️ I’m a natural helper, but I don’t want to be treated like the hired help. Cleaning his car is not a date! Now if you add dinner to that, that could be a fun date with the right guy. If you have to be incapacitated for him to notice what you do on the daily, ie, it’s no longer getting done, that’s a Real problem. It means he doesn’t notice that she IS adding value to his life, but he’s completely unaware of the value she adds. This has been my experience.

[@TheOlzee]

That could be because what men value isn’t the same as what you value and for some reason many of you never figure this basic stuff out. If you were to clean the inside of my car I’d be happier than a pig in 💩. So my tip to you is to do what he asks. Try it anyway and don’t be stuck up about it.

[@alexisc7565]

​@TheOlzee Nah we aren't doing that. Too many men out here who will treat us well without requiring that we clean his car/house lol. Those are his things, he can clean them himself.

[@juanortiz4331]

“Hire slow fire fast” is the best advice you've said

[@josiahbjertness1083]

Before my wife and I even started dating she showed up to my eagle scout project and helped me lay brick. I learned later that it was the most physical work she had ever done prior to that point. 10 years later and we've gont through many moves and remodels. Though she has a weak disposition she strives to carry more than her own weight every day. Love her.

[@Yukajoseph]

Recently, I had a challenging split. The breakup of my five-year relationship a few months ago has been quite difficult. I still harbor a deep affection for my ex-boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My attempts to win him back have been unsuccessful, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. It may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.

[@ToniaYung]

I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.

[@Yukajoseph]

How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?

[@ToniaYung]

His name is Father Obah Eze and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.

[@ToniaYung]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@Yukajoseph]

I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤

[@marihutten]

While reading the comments it seems most folks think the helping is regards to cleaning and cooking and I think there's so much more, specially nowadays that women are more involved in the job world. Other than the obvious meal prep, laundry, etc. I've helped exes in previous relationships on things like organizing a schedule so not to get overwhelmed with work and be able to achieve his goals. Advice on financial things. Let him live with me rent free/without splitting any bills while he was in between jobs (which allowed him to find a better one since he didn't have this financial pressure). And also previous relationships have helped me in areas beyond the stereotypical "pay for dinner" and "fixing broken things at home". Having a good partner kind of goes beyond having a free maid or a free handyman/sugar daddy, I think. There's so much more to be gained if one opens their mind in regards to the type of help they can get from their partner.

[@carlos944]

Totally true, team mindset is the key.

[@TheOlzee]

@@marihutten I’ll be honest with you, apart from supporting him in between jobs, most men wouldn’t have you do those other things, they’re too important to delegate. This is why we ask for much simpler things. Remember this is what the MEN like not what you like on his behalf.

[@LisaCulton]

You got used.

[@christian-s1i1w]

Nice

[@Valentina.Montano]

​@@TheOlzee maybe that's her skill set, you can't complain if she can easily want to help you with something she knows how to do, is up to you if you can appreciate the help or you get reactive because you don't think your women can help you in other things outside of their traditional roles. Like if women never handled big households or fortunes, in other words, poor men mentality.

[@MegaSunshineyday]

I’m 100% willing to work with a man if I feel we have the same goals and he won’t waste my time and resources. It is pure joy! However, if I see that a man is unfaithful or treats me worse than others, or with less honor, I also will not want to waste my time with him. No leaky boats!

[@j.p.5716]

For a high quality man, your goals will need to be to help him with whatever his goals are. There can only be one leader. Mutuality does not exist.

[@JordoTWFS]

I woke up this morning feeling so disenfranchised, wishing I could just give up. But there’s something about your words that always light a fire under me. Thank you

[@krenol8067]

Orion makes the worst day of the week a good day and the best day of the week the bestest

[@PhillyHank]

I don't know if this is psychologically or anthropologically accurate, but it's highly entertaining. 👍🏾

[@AnesuSithole-r6l]

Sometimes I forget that the Doc is funny, even when he is dropping gems he still slips a humerus line or funny gesture

[@filagerg]

I am 24. Watching this chills me out from feeling that I am behind in life. I have found so much value in this! Thank you!

[@elainer8288]

I think people should be more focused on giving then receiving for relationships to work peacefully. Both men and women.

[@danielrolle7621]

I just bought your book “The Value of Others” can’t wait to read!

[@mynametrong5508]

AYYYYYYYYY

[@rageonyx]

This works exactly as advertised. It's some kind of primal instinct. I have noticed when dating men for more than a couple of weeks, if it feels like he doesn't actually need me for anything then emotionally it feels like he's not interested in anything "more". There is a not-so-fine line between that and a needy baby man though. So don't be that guy either. :D

[@TheOlzee]

Good point at the end there

[@DionLYA]

The challenge of being a man: being needy and not being needy at the same time.

[@moontreecollective6718]

@@rageonyx what is that line exactly though? At what point does it become needy baby man? Because lately all I’ve been seeing is when a man expresses any need or preference at all it gets shot down if it’s beyond the honeymoon stage

[@cryptojihadi265]

@@DionLYA This is just the BS they throw out there, so they can use either side of the teeter-totter as a reason to dump a guy and have it be his fault. If a woman HONESTLY wants to be a helpmate and support her man, she will just do it. She doesn't need to be asked; she sees the need and instinctively tries to meet or fill it. If the guy shuts her down, THEN she can blame him and walk away. Feminism has poisoned the brains of most women into thinking doing anything for their man is demeaning, enslavement or just plain abhorrent. Sadly, feminism has inflicted so much brainwashing and PTSD on men as well, that most men are afraid or feel guilty AF to accept help from a woman as THEY also think it's demeaning or enslaving the woman they care about.

[@Valentina.Montano]

Needy men vs husband material who contributes his own skill set (repairs, plumbing, escorting home at night). Husband material aren't needy men.

[@ATRTAP]

She’s mowing the yard right now Taraband!

[@tysimon]

Oh yes, finally someone said it. It's a great and fine balance. If you are the man of the house, she will want to care for you 24/7, adding value and supporting you totally.

[@deadislander]

this man is the reason I've been actively dating for the past two months. draining but I'm back in the game with more success than ever.

[@caribbeanbound8357]

my wife if great. She cares for our family. She cooks, cleans, takes care of paying the bills. She even started her own business while being a SAHM. I take care of the money, security, vehicles and anything that needs fixing around the home. Life couldn't be better.

[@TheOlzee]

Good stuff 👌🏼

[@appeljuicesurf]

goes both ways. you want to do things for the person you like.

[@theartl0l]

yes, it should. but interest in modern relationshits is rarely reciprocated

[@baffinsansterre]

Not if you are lazy or a liability.

[@BS_Profile]

Not exactly. Guys are expected to work for the woman by default. Even for the first date, the guy has to plan and pay for it. And the woman gets to decide if it was "good enough". Women are the ones that are spoiled for choice so if they aren't investing, there's no way it'll ever possibly work out.

[@Valentina.Montano]

We know if a man will take care of us and respect us, if he is full of green flags, instincts will make us want to take care of him, it doesn't happen just because they're men.

[@lanceroparaca1413]

But only AFTER they show their interest in you. Not before.

[@WilliamKirkland-j4r]

Thanks. I recently failed to do the things you recommend, paid a bitter price and probably have lost her for good.

[@ggg21201]

Not pretending I know anything about your situation, but maybe she isn't someone worth being sad over. You may understand if that's true or not once you've emotionally detached and found someone who really cares about you and doesn't have x problems. Don't know if that's your situation, but sometimes it helps to realize that. Sometimes when you're in love you tend to look past those red flags and hyper focus on the positives and create an ideal that isn't real. But even if she was a keeper and none of what I said applies, only thing you can do is work on yourself, keep trying, and learn from your mistakes. Also, believe in yourself!

[@Valentina.Montano]

​@@ggg21201 maybe he said it because she was behaving like the ideal girl and he didn't respond appropriately, making her leave him.

[@HertzJourneyMan]

Finally someone who said it straight on KZbin. Bless you sir.

[@suefleming]

A decent woman wants to help you and she will feel much better about herself when she helped you. ❤

[@redoctober1498]

What you are missing is that women do it unconditionally for their dogs, cats and furry friends. But only want to do it for a steep price even for a right man. They do it for free to their pets, female friends, moms, sisters, female coworkers etc. But they want to sell their ability or competitive advantage to men, while giving it away for free or at significant discount to the rest of the world. But smart men don’t want to buy it nowadays. That stuff doesn’t sell itself any more. If you pay for free stuff or work for free, you will always be busy. Again, this is for smart high value guys who worked hard to be the best version of a man. Women wouldn’t date a man who lives with his mom, but they sure will date a man who lives with his wife.

[@detroitvcw]

I agree with you. He actually lost me in the beginning part of his message that they yearn to do whatever for guys. That's generally not true.

[@skamgodt964]

women do it for free for their female friends, because they know they will receive the same effort and care back. it's a bad comparison.

[@JohnSkyLey]

No he’s right. You are wrong

[@Valentina.Montano]

So, you're only talking about women who don't want to be wives, that's a whole different kind of woman that the doctor is talking about. Maybe you need to learn the difference, don't put us all in the same group because a mistress is never wife material, so your explanation is absurd.

[@redoctober1498]

@@Valentina.Montano thanks for your concern. as a high value man that had several hundred women, I am very comfortable and confident in my opinion because it’s a reality. High status men reality, that is. Doc is still making his way to become one, when he will be able to date 9s and 10s and have a LTR with one of them. Anyway, what absurd is that one of the tenets of woke society is that female feelings matter more than the truth. Smart top tier guys either don’t get married or have several wives, depending on geo location. Mr Taraban doesn’t believe in marriage himself, which he expressed on multiple occasions. But he needs to present the reality and material not to alienate neurotic females and KZbin matrix. He has several interviews where he discusses it at length if you want to educate yourself. Good luck.

[@simpinainteasy680]

Women have been very strongly conditioned Not to care for men while expecting significant support from a man.

[@mrsherwood2599]

Yeah, I struggled with this. The reason I struggled is that I could never conceive of being in a relationship with someone I was somewhat indifferent about. I really struggle to respect women after learning they will do that. That's the piece I was missing. I couldn't understand how someone would disrespect themselves like that. Lesson learned.

[@charlesdavid-p1y]

This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6-year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here.

[@DianaJovita]

The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.

[@charlesdavid-p1y]

Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?

[@DianaJovita]

Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.

[@charlesdavid-p1y]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online.

[@lashedbutnotleashed1984]

@@charlesdavid-p1y Beware of shysters. "Spiritual counselor" is code for "I want your money."

[@mensaswede4028]

100% accurate information in this video. Just more trouble than it’s worth trying to “put her to work”. I don’t really need or want anything from her.

[@TheOlzee]

Have her do things for you regardless it helps the attention

[@44clouds]

This was a really good one. Only thing I would add is beware that there are women out there that are highly manipulative. I say that to say they know that doing things for you will make you think they are the one. But as soon as you commit. Whether it be relationship (or the long game) marriage. They will switch it up on you. Because that was their only true goal. Bait and switch.

[@Valentina.Montano]

But that's the minority and it happens with men too.

[@carolinewells4355]

Love this episode! This is exactly my situation but in a role reversal. My bf just allows me to do do do for him and he cannot even stay off phone long enough to say thank you. Wondering why I stay well its the sex, however it is drastically declining. So at age 42 I am seeing that I will be single soon. Excited for my future and thanks for your video as it is confirmation.

[@Valentina.Montano]

I get it, he isn't the nurturer and natural leader. Just taking space.

[@j.p.5716]

At age 42, what do you even have to offer a man?

[@alexisc7565]

I feel ya. Past 40, ED claims a lot of men...it's unfortunate and funny at the same time lol

[@j.p.5716]

@@alexisc7565 - They say that the cure for ED is diet and exercise but it is just too difficult to get the women to do it these days.

[@derriklee287]

Smh wow.

[@suvendroseal1724]

Excellent video. Really puts my efforts into good direction. Thank you friend.

[@KnifeCursed]

I’ve been married 16 years and just started putting my wife to work for me a little less than a year ago. I ask a great deal more from her now. I put my needs much higher than I previously did. Some needs have been met and some have not. True colors have definitely been shown. Overall she is now meeting more of my needs than previously if not with some grumbling. I think there is much truth in what you say with regard to this topic.

[@j.p.5716]

Keep the gentle pressure on and don't forget to reward her good behavior in what ever her love language is. It can get even better.

[@pearlshark001]

I actually learned a lot from this and it made me realize my man loves me 🤣. Thanks

[@jonswap9097]

Everyone needs to be needed to feel safe in a relationship or to have a sense of self worth. That is why we give to charity, keep pets, or have children.