Dating Your Therapist (2019 Rerun)

[@Crystal-and-Dexter]

The best thing a very animated professor told me in grad school (MFT) was this: "It doesn't start out romantic, it starts out as maybe you enjoy spending time with that client and save their session to the end of the day." "Then, you ask to do sessions at the coffee shop around the corner and extend the time." "Then you start thinking about sharing more about yourself with the client." "And, that, is how you slowly, start creeping your way, to, the end, of, your, career " 😂

[@jayl1712]

I picked a female therapist w/ over 20yrs experience in CBT/DBT. It’s been a year of therapy & now that I am learning about transference it’s comforting to know that I wasn’t over analyzing what my therapist discloses about her personal life, like her open relationship & her BDSM lifestyle & how on teleDoc she showed me her house & her Bedroom in particular & since the start I have been her last client & goes over her hour every session till I say Bye! I Never get charged extra. This has been my real experience this is the first time in my life seeking therapy & I am victim of SA & Neglect.

[@comediansruinthebacheloret4433]

as a female patient, I would never make an appointment with a male therapist, especially an attractive male therapist.

[@ChalNjurshEp]

Exactly!

[@TheNurseWhoLovedMe89]

I’m female and can only talk to male therapists… I’d definitely not stick around if there were weird vibes though…

[@bambacska]

Thank you!❤ I work as a therapist, very important topic. For me, having sexual relationships with my clients is a taboo.

[@godstomper]

Why? Just why? That's not professional. You might as well date your plumber if you work at a pool

[@thearchivist250]

Why is it unethical for the therapist to terminate the relationship if the client admits attraction? I understand it’s unethical to drop a client via email like in the podcast, but if the therapist thinks they cannot provide appropriate care due to the client’s attraction, isn’t it imperative to appropriately transition that client to another therapist? No one would argue the ethics of dropping a client if they don’t pay their bill or yells at the therapist. I don’t see how it’s ever appropriate for a client to admit attraction to the therapist unless that’s the reason to terminate the relationship. I’m talking about real “I wanna date you” attraction, not random passing thoughts.

[@nihalhathaway4089]

I think the point is how fast is he terminating... also, the client having attraction, as Kirk said in the podcast, is nothing new or shocking. A therapist should know how to handle this and then if he feels uncomfortable, have a TALK with the client and terminate in a decent way at least.

[@Crystal-and-Dexter]

As a therapist, you can certainly get in trouble for abandoning a client who can't pay or a client who yells. It can be unethical. So many things can be considered unethical. Things you wouldn't even imagine. Like accepting homemade cookies 😂 you must consider the cost for the individual, meaning behind, how the client views the relationship, ECT. There are millions of factors to consider when termination is done for anything aside from meeting treatment goals. Even then, one must be very careful. On a side note, I wouldn't mind if a client yelled anymore than if a client cried. People express their emotions in different ways. If safety is a factor, yes, consider that first, but yelling. This gives me insight into how that individual perceives themselves and others.

[@pixie33ck]

I imagine It’s unethical because therapy is meant to be a safe space where clients can explore and discuss difficult emotions, including romantic or sexual feelings toward their therapist. Disclosing those feelings isn’t harmful. It could be an opportunity for growth and understanding. A skilled therapist shouldn’t be judgmental. They should set aside their own fears, while seeing clear boundaries, and help the client process those emotions. Ending the therapeutic relationship because of countertransference might reinforce feelings of rejection and shame, instead of showing the client that they aren’t broken or wrong for having those feelings. If they can’t trust their therapist, who can they trust?

[@Crystal-and-Dexter]

​@@pixie33ckWell said 🩷

[@faysalals1]

Cant she just fire him as her therapist and then they start dating? or is that also unethical?

[@Gamesnstuffguy]

That is also unethical. Therapists aren't even permitted by their respective boards to maintain any relationship (not limited to romantic) outside of a client/patient relationship for at least 5 years AFTER termination of therapeutic services. (And you'd be hard pressed to find therapists who deem it acceptable even after that).

[@Crystal-and-Dexter]

As a therapist, I would agree. Never. It is never okay to have an ongoing relationship of any kind after termination. You have lost your ability to be objective and in doing so are not a useful therapist to your client. It is deplorable behavior. It seems predatory to me, as we are in a position of authority and power.

[@andreaberg1735]

Is it also unethical for a doctor to see a patient?

[@SilverSwallow1130]

Very useful, thank you ❤ I like my therapist, I think he is a good, inteligent and intresting man. He never shown any signs of unethical behavior and I trust him very much. Althogh, somewhere in my fantasy I would like to actually know more about him and get to know who he realy is, I am aware, given my extremly bad experience with man, that I might end up hurt so saying him anything or having anything with him is not an option for me...

[@nihalhathaway4089]

yes I think it's very common and even good to admire your therapist, and to have positive feelings towards a therapist. I like my therapist a lot, too. But I like many people that I don't wanna date. I kind of take it as a good, positive experience to motivate me to find someone trusting and caring outside of therapy, knowing that it IS indeed possible to have a safe relationship with a man (in my case).

[@sunnypie2]

I think it would be better if we didn’t see the therapist. Like confessing to a Priest. Maybe the eye contact is helpful, but for for other types of therapists, maybe it would be better if everyone was anonymous

[@ChalNjurshEp]

Omg 😂

[@ReyaLia]

If your therapist being unprofessional and interested in you romantically, wouldnt they going to do the same thing in the future with other patients? 🫢 isn't a sign that someone unable to divide personal and professional business. Or maybe that therapist need to book a therapy session? I never been in therapy (planning to tho) but if my therapist show a sign like that I would be weirded out... like.. yo sir, in case you forgotten, I'm your patient 😂